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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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( theme music playing )
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YOU WILL NOTE THAT EDITH
IS OVER AT THE WINDOW TABLE,
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GENTLY WEEPING.
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( sobbing )
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THE REASON IS AS FOLLOWS:
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I WAS, AT THE POINT
OF 20 GUNS,
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IN THE PROCESS
OF MARRYING DENISE LAROQUE,
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THE HEAD OF
THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE,
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WHEN EDITH,
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BRAVELY OR STUPIDLY,
DEPENDING UPON YOUR VIEWPOINT,
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SUBSTITUTED HERSELF
FOR DENISE,
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IN THE HOPE
OF BECOMING MY BRIDE.
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LITTLE DID SHE KNOW
THAT MY WAITRESSES OVER THERE,
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WHO BOTH HAVE
THE HOTS FOR ME,
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HAD SUBSTITUTED CRABTREE,
THE IDIOT ENGLISH AGENT,
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FOR THE CATHOLIC PRIEST.
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THIS, OF COURSE, MEANS THAT
THE WEDDING WAS NOT LEGAL,
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A) BECAUSE HE WAS
NOT A PROPER PRIEST;
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AND B) BECAUSE EVEN
THE GOOD LORD HIMSELF
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COULD NOT HAVE UNDERSTOOD
ONE WORD OF THE CEREMONY.
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FOOLS, FOOLS, FOOLS.
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MADAME EDITH,
WE ARE MORTIFIED.
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WE HAD YOUR BEST
INTERESTS AT HEART.
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AND RENE'S BEST
INTERESTS.
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ALL OUR
BEST INTERESTS.
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I WAS SO NEAR,
AND YET SO FAR.
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BUT FOR YOUR BUNGLING,
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I WOULD NOW BE
A RESPECTABLE MARRIED WOMAN.
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IF YOU WOULD ALL
STOP GOING ON
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ABOUT YOUR OWN
SELFISH INTERESTS,
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YOU WOULD REALIZE
WHAT SORT OF A POSITION
I AM LEFT IN.
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MY CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART,
DENISE LAROQUE,
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KILLS ANY MAN
WHO REJECTS HER,
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AND WHO WILL SHE BLAME
FOR THIS FIASCO? ME!
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BECAUSE I TOLD EVERYBODY
ABOUT THE WEDDING PLANS.
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DO NOT WORRY,
MY WOULD-BE HUSBAND.
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SHE IS SAFELY HOLED UP
IN THE BOTTOM OF A MINE SHAFT
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BY MICHELLE
OF THE RESISTANCE.
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AND WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN SHE ESCAPES?
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WE WILL KEEP HER THERE
TILL AFTER THE WAR.
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I WILL SEND
SANDWICHES DOWN.
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WHAT ABOUT THAT LUNATIC
GANG OF CUTTHROATS,
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WHO WERE ON THE BRIDE'S
SIDE OF THE AISLE?
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IF I MAY SAY SO,
MONSIEUR,
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SPEAKING
AS THE BEST MAN,
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EVEN I FOUND IT
HARD TO HEAR
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THE MURMURED
RESPONSES.
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IT IS MY BELIEF
THEY THOUGHT
MADAME EDITH
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WAS MADEMOISELLE
LAROQUE,
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THAT THE MARRIAGE
TOOK PLACE
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AND THAT IT IS,
EVEN NOW,
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AT THIS MOMENT,
BEING CONSUMMATED.
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MONSIEUR ALPHONSE, PLEASE!
SUCH LANGUAGE.
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WHAT HAPPENS IN TWO
OR THREE WEEKS,
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WHEN DENISE LAROQUE
DOES NOT APPEAR?
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WITH YOUR REPUTATION,
MONSIEUR,
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IT WILL BE ASSUMED
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THAT SHE IS
TOO EXHAUSTED
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TO RESUME
GUERRILLA WARFARE.
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WHAT REPUTATION?
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IT IS ALL PART
OF THE MYTH, EDITH.
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WORD OF MOUTH
EXAGGERATES
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LITTLE THINGS
INTO BIG THINGS.
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I BLOW UP
A BUS STATION,
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IT BECOMES
AN AMMUNITION FACTORY.
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YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.
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YOU ARE ALL TO BLAME.
PERHAPS THIS WILL
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TEACH YOU TO CONSULT ME
BEFORE PUTTING
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INTO EFFECT
YOUR IDIOT PLANS.
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WE ARE SORRY,
RENE.
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JUST THINK,
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DENISE LAROQUE
DOWN A MINE SHAFT.
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SHE WILL NOT LIKE THIS.
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I CAN SEE HER NOW,
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SCRAPING AT THE BARE EARTH
WITH HER BARE HANDS.
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SPITTING MY NAME BETWEEN
HER CLENCHED TEETH.
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AND WHAT HAPPENS
IF SHE FINDS A SHOVEL?!
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OH MY GOD, I WISH
I HAD NOT THOUGHT OF THAT.
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- THE MINE SHAFT
IS A MILE DEEP.
- IS THAT ALL?!
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- ( knocking )
- THERE IS SOMEONE
AT THE DOOR.
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IT'S THE COMMUNISTS. I KNEW IT.
DO NOT LET THEM IN.
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IT IS MICHELLE
FROM THE RESISTANCE.
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Rene:
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
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YOU SHOULD BE SITTING
ON A BIG SLAB OF STONE
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ON TOP OF
THE MINE SHAFT.
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THE SLAB OF STONE
IS STILL IN PLACE.
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OH, THANK HEAVENS.
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UNFORTUNATELY,
DENISE FOUND A SHOVEL.
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( all scream )
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OH, RENE, RENE!
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HE IS DEAD,
HE IS DEAD!
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I AM NOT DEAD,
YOU SILLY COW.
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PRETEND THAT YOU ARE,
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THEY ARE STILL OUTSIDE.
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All:
RENE, DEAD!
RENE IS DEAD.
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IT WOULD APPEAR...
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THAT THEY BURST
THROUGH THE DOOR,
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AND SPRAYED BULLETS
INTO THE CAFE.
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RENE...
FELL TO THE FLOOR...
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AND EXPIRED.
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WHAT WERE HIS LAST WORDS?
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I BELIEVE--
"OH, HECK, IT HURTS."
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I SEE. NOTHING ABOUT
THE PAINTINGS?
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COLONEL, THERE IS
AN OLD MAN OUTSIDE,
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WHO SAYS HE IS THE FATHER
OF THE LATE RENE ARTOIS.
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SHOW HIM IN.
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COME IN,
MONSIEUR ARTOIS.
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SIT DOWN,
DEAR MONSIEUR ARTOIS.
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WE WERE MOST SAD
TO HEAR OF YOUR LOSS.
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RENE SPOKE
OF YOU FREQUENTLY.
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ALTHOUGH HE DID NOT MENTION
THAT YOU WERE A RABBI.
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ARE WE ALONE?
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OF COURSE.
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SHUT THE DOOR.
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HELGA,
CLOSE THE DOOR.
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I HAVE TO TELL YOU...
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THAT I AM NOT
THE FATHER OF RENE ARTOIS.
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THEN WHO ARE YOU?
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I AM RENE ARTOIS.
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NO!
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YES.
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THE DISGUISE
IS AMAZING.
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BUT OF COURSE,
I SHOULD HAVE NOTICED
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THOSE DELICATE HANDS.
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WHAT IS ALL THIS ABOUT?
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COLONEL, I HAVE COME
TO ASK FOR YOUR HELP,
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AND TO THROW MYSELF
ON YOUR MERCY.
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INDEED, WHAT CAN
WE DO FOR YOU?
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WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
THAT WAS NOT A PROPER WEDDING.
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WAS IT NOT?
TELL US MORE.
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WELL, UNDER THREAT OF DEATH,
I WAS ORDERED TO MARRY
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THE HEAD OF THE COMMUNIST
RESISTANCE.
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WERE YOU INDEED?
THIS EXPLAINS A LOT.
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DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME,
WE WERE IN THE SAME CHURCH
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AS THE LEADER
OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE,
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AND SHE WAS THE BRIDE?
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NO, COLONEL, NO.
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NO, MADAME EDITH
FROM THE CAFE WAS THE BRIDE.
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THEN YOU ARE NOW...
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MARRIED TO MADAME EDITH
FROM THE CAFE?
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NO, IT WAS NOT A PROPER PRIEST.
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WHY WAS IT NOT
A PROPER PRIEST?
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BECAUSE MY WAITRESS,
YVETTE,
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HAS HOPES OF
MARRYING ME, HERSELF.
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AS DOES MIMI,
THE OTHER WAITRESS.
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THEY HAD REPLACED THE PROPER
PRIEST WITH A BOGUS ONE.
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WHAT COMPLICATED LIVES
YOU FRENCH PEOPLE LEAD.
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THE HEAD OF
THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE
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IS TRYING TO KILL ME.
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DON'T WORRY,
YOU'LL GET
USED TO IT.
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THEY'RE TRYING
TO KILL US
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ALL THE TIME.
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BUT COULD YOU NOT GIVE ME
SOME SORT OF PROTECTION?
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FOR INSTANCE,
PUT AN ARMED GUARD IN MY CAFE?
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GIVE ME A BULLETPROOF
WAISTCOAT?
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LEND ME A TANK
TO GO SHOPPING?
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00:06:59,431 --> 00:07:01,399
RENE, YOU SEEM TO FORGET
THAT YOU ARE THE ENEMY.
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COLONEL, IF YOU
DON'T MIND ME SAYING,
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I AM THE ENEMY
WHO KNOWS WHERE
YOUR PAINTINGS ARE HIDDEN.
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IN THAT CASE, WE HAVE
THE PERFECT SOLUTION.
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YOU PRODUCE THE PAINTINGS,
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AND WE'LL PRODUCE
THE PROTECTION.
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HELGA, SEND FOR THE GUARD.
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GUARD, COME IN HERE.
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THROW THIS OLD PEASANT
OUT INTO THE STREET.
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YES, COLONEL.
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( Rene whimpering )
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- OPEN THE WINDOW!
- WHAT?!
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NOT OUT OF THE FIRST
FLOOR WINDOW,
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OUT THE FRONT DOOR.
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HELGA, CLOSE THE DOOR
AND COME HERE.
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YES, COLONEL.
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OUR ENTIRE FORTUNE
IS IN RENE'S HANDS.
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HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO
KNOWS THE WHEREABOUTS
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OF THE PAINTINGS.
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HERE IS A GUN.
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YOU WILL FOLLOW HIM
AND YOU WILL GIVE HIM
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EVERY POSSIBLE
PROTECTION.
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00:08:00,893 --> 00:08:02,660
IF HE IS SHOT,
I WANT YOU TO BE
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00:08:02,662 --> 00:08:04,595
NEAR ENOUGH TO HEAR
HIS DYING WORDS.
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00:08:04,597 --> 00:08:05,929
WHAT IF HIS DYING WORDS
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00:08:05,931 --> 00:08:07,832
DO NOT CONCERN THE WHEREABOUTS
OF THE PAINTINGS?
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00:08:07,834 --> 00:08:10,601
KEEP HIM ALIVE.
SLAP HIS FACE, ASK HIM.
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00:08:10,603 --> 00:08:13,838
WHATEVER YOU DO,
DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF HIM.
185
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:15,406
WILL I NOT BE CONSPICUOUS
186
00:08:15,408 --> 00:08:16,974
STANDING OUTSIDE
THE CAFE ALL DAY,
187
00:08:16,976 --> 00:08:18,242
BRANDISHING THIS GUN?
188
00:08:18,244 --> 00:08:19,877
MINGLE WITH THE PEASANTS.
189
00:08:19,879 --> 00:08:21,579
WEAR A DISGUISE.
190
00:08:21,581 --> 00:08:22,980
IT'S AN ORDER.
191
00:08:22,982 --> 00:08:24,682
YES, COLONEL.
192
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EXCUSE ME,
193
00:08:30,155 --> 00:08:32,356
IS THIS THE SECRET
HEADQUARTERS
194
00:08:32,358 --> 00:08:34,658
OF THE GESTAPO?
195
00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:37,428
IT WAS UNTIL NOW.
196
00:08:39,531 --> 00:08:41,699
I WISH TO SPEAK
TO HERR FLICK.
197
00:08:41,701 --> 00:08:44,402
- IT IS VERY URGENT.
- WHO IS IT?
198
00:08:44,404 --> 00:08:47,671
I BELIEVE IT TO BE
A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS.
199
00:08:49,508 --> 00:08:51,975
HE'S VERY VERY OLD,
200
00:08:51,977 --> 00:08:54,111
BUT HE APPEARS
TO BE HARMLESS.
201
00:08:54,113 --> 00:08:55,379
DRAG HIM IN.
202
00:09:01,686 --> 00:09:03,153
AH, RENE,
203
00:09:07,292 --> 00:09:08,559
SIT DOWN.
204
00:09:08,561 --> 00:09:11,361
YOUR HONEYMOON
HAS AGED YOU CONSIDERABLY.
205
00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:15,098
HERR FLICK,
THIS IS A DISGUISE,
206
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:17,535
AND A VERY
UNCOMFORTABLE ONE.
207
00:09:17,537 --> 00:09:19,303
HERR FLICK, MY LIFE
IS IN DANGER
208
00:09:19,305 --> 00:09:20,938
FROM THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE.
209
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:23,040
COULD YOU PLEASE LOCK ME UP
IN ONE OF YOUR DUNGEONS
210
00:09:23,042 --> 00:09:24,775
FOR A FEW DAYS,
UNTIL THE HEAT IS OFF?
211
00:09:24,777 --> 00:09:26,911
I'M SURE I COULD MAKE IT
WORTH YOUR WHILE.
212
00:09:26,913 --> 00:09:28,178
CERTAINLY NOT.
213
00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:30,280
WE PICK THE PEOPLE
WE LOCK UP.
214
00:09:30,282 --> 00:09:32,282
WE CANNOT HAVE PEOPLE
WALKING IN OFF THE STREET,
215
00:09:32,284 --> 00:09:34,017
ASKING TO BE LOCKED UP,
216
00:09:34,019 --> 00:09:35,619
JUST TO BE PROTECTED
FROM OTHER PEOPLE.
217
00:09:35,621 --> 00:09:37,354
OUR DUNGEONS WOULD BE SO FULL,
218
00:09:37,356 --> 00:09:39,590
WE WOULD HAVE PEASANTS
COMING OUT OF OUR EARS.
219
00:09:39,592 --> 00:09:41,291
GET HIM OUT OF HERE.
220
00:09:42,461 --> 00:09:44,895
HERR FLICK SAYS
YOU ARE TO GET OUT.
221
00:09:44,897 --> 00:09:47,164
I AM SORRY TO HAVE
TROUBLED YOU, HERR FLICK.
222
00:09:48,733 --> 00:09:52,002
OH, COULD I HAVE
MY BEARD BACK, PLEASE?
223
00:09:55,073 --> 00:09:57,040
VON SMALLHAUSEN,
224
00:09:57,042 --> 00:09:59,877
THIS MAN COULD LEAD US
TO THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE.
225
00:09:59,879 --> 00:10:01,411
FOLLOW HIM.
226
00:10:01,413 --> 00:10:03,714
TAKE PHOTOGRAPHS
OF ANYBODY HE MEETS,
227
00:10:03,716 --> 00:10:06,116
ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE
ASSASSINATING HIM.
228
00:10:06,118 --> 00:10:08,619
VERY GOOD, HERR FLICK.
229
00:10:08,621 --> 00:10:10,488
OF COURSE IT'S VERY GOOD.
230
00:10:10,490 --> 00:10:12,122
I THOUGHT OF IT.
231
00:10:19,664 --> 00:10:22,966
SHOP. SERVICE!
232
00:10:22,968 --> 00:10:26,337
IS THIS A POLICE
STATION OR A MORTUARY?
233
00:10:29,374 --> 00:10:32,142
WILL YOU PLEASE STOP
BONGING THE BILL?
234
00:10:34,379 --> 00:10:37,481
OR I SHALL LICK YOU UP
FOR DISTURBING THE PUSS.
235
00:10:38,850 --> 00:10:41,118
OFFICER CRABTREE,
IT IS I, RENE ARTOIS.
236
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,053
WILL YOU LOCK ME UP,
PLEASE?
237
00:10:43,055 --> 00:10:46,690
ARE YOU CONFESSING
TO SOME CREAM?
238
00:10:46,692 --> 00:10:49,493
YES, CREAM GALORE.
239
00:10:49,495 --> 00:10:52,496
IN THAT CURSE,
YOU MUST FILL IN A FOAM.
240
00:10:53,665 --> 00:10:56,634
HERE IS A LIST
OF CREAMS.
241
00:10:56,636 --> 00:10:59,603
I WILL TICK
WHAT YOU HAVE DIN.
242
00:10:59,605 --> 00:11:01,639
MURDER?
243
00:11:01,641 --> 00:11:03,240
NO.
244
00:11:03,242 --> 00:11:04,775
MINSLAUGHTER?
245
00:11:04,777 --> 00:11:06,677
NO.
246
00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:08,912
ROOP?
247
00:11:10,515 --> 00:11:12,149
NO.
248
00:11:12,151 --> 00:11:14,518
BIGLARY?
249
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:18,455
BIGLARY
WITH MINACES?
250
00:11:20,525 --> 00:11:22,926
HANDBOG SNITCHING?
251
00:11:25,297 --> 00:11:26,664
ARSON?
252
00:11:33,371 --> 00:11:35,572
WHAT IS ARSON?
253
00:11:35,574 --> 00:11:38,676
SETTING FIRE TO PLACES.
254
00:11:38,678 --> 00:11:41,378
LOOK, I-- I--
MY LIFE IS IN DANGER,
255
00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:43,246
SO I WILL CONFESS
TO ALL OF THESE THINGS,
256
00:11:43,248 --> 00:11:45,015
AS LONG AS YOU
LOCK ME UP.
257
00:11:45,017 --> 00:11:47,984
I SEE.
UNFORTUNATELY,
ALL THE CILLS
258
00:11:47,986 --> 00:11:50,721
ARE FILLED
TO COPOCITY.
259
00:11:50,723 --> 00:11:53,156
COULD YOU COME BACK
NEXT WOKE?
260
00:11:53,158 --> 00:11:55,626
OH MY GOD.
261
00:11:57,028 --> 00:11:59,330
WHY DO I PAY RATES?
262
00:12:02,734 --> 00:12:04,668
HERE IS YOUR DINNER, MAMMA.
263
00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:07,037
BOILED RABBIT BONE GRUEL.
264
00:12:08,406 --> 00:12:10,040
UGH.
265
00:12:10,042 --> 00:12:12,275
WHAT IS TO FOLLOW?
266
00:12:12,277 --> 00:12:14,378
STEWED PRUNES.
267
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:16,947
STEWED PRUNES,
268
00:12:16,949 --> 00:12:19,550
IT IS A TERRIBLE WAR.
269
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,887
OH, NOW, EDITH,
SIT DOWN AND LISTEN.
270
00:12:23,889 --> 00:12:26,122
NOW, YOU REMEMBER
271
00:12:26,124 --> 00:12:28,225
MY GRANDMOTHER'S CLOCK?
272
00:12:28,227 --> 00:12:31,562
YOU KNOW, THE ONE
WITH THE JEWELED FACE?
273
00:12:31,564 --> 00:12:33,897
OH, YOU MEAN THE ONE
THAT WAS STOLEN
274
00:12:33,899 --> 00:12:36,567
FROM MARIE ANTOINETTE'S BOUDOIR
BY THE SCULLERY MAID,
275
00:12:36,569 --> 00:12:38,235
WHO WAS STABBED TO DEATH
276
00:12:38,237 --> 00:12:39,936
BY YOUR GREAT-GREAT-
GRANDFATHER'S UNCLE,
277
00:12:39,938 --> 00:12:42,005
WHO PASSED IT ON
TO HIS ILLEGITIMATE SON,
278
00:12:42,007 --> 00:12:43,674
WHO DIED OF LEPROSY
AND LEFT IT
279
00:12:43,676 --> 00:12:46,309
TO YOUR MOTHER'S BROTHER'S
SECOND WIFE?
280
00:12:46,311 --> 00:12:47,578
NO, NOT THAT.
281
00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:49,413
I CANNOT FIND THAT ONE.
282
00:12:51,249 --> 00:12:53,751
THE ONE I AM
TALKING ABOUT
283
00:12:53,753 --> 00:12:56,052
IS VERY VALUABLE.
284
00:12:56,054 --> 00:12:58,355
AND I HAVE SENT IT
TO BE REPAIRED.
285
00:12:58,357 --> 00:13:00,123
OH, EDITH,
286
00:13:00,125 --> 00:13:02,593
IT WAS TO BE
YOUR WEDDING GIFT.
287
00:13:02,595 --> 00:13:04,327
OH, MAMMA.
288
00:13:04,329 --> 00:13:07,364
NOW, WHEN IT COMES BACK,
289
00:13:07,366 --> 00:13:10,367
I WANT IT UP HERE,
IN MY ROOM.
290
00:13:10,369 --> 00:13:12,770
IS IT OF GREAT
SENTIMENTAL VALUE?
291
00:13:12,772 --> 00:13:15,472
YES, IT IS,
292
00:13:15,474 --> 00:13:17,508
AND I ALSO WISH
293
00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:19,543
TO TELL THE TIME.
294
00:13:23,681 --> 00:13:26,249
AH, UM...
WE BRITISH AIRMEN,
295
00:13:26,251 --> 00:13:28,051
COME FROM
THE SKIES.
296
00:13:28,053 --> 00:13:30,186
SHOT DOWN.
WISH TO GIVE UP.
297
00:13:30,188 --> 00:13:31,889
ARE YOU MAD?
298
00:13:31,891 --> 00:13:34,157
IT'S EVERY OFFICER'S DUTY
TO ESCAPE.
299
00:13:34,159 --> 00:13:36,660
GOOD HEAVENS,
IT'S CRABTREE.
300
00:13:36,662 --> 00:13:38,228
LISTEN,
WEREN'T YOU SENT
301
00:13:38,230 --> 00:13:39,730
TO GET US
BACK TO ENGLAND?
302
00:13:39,732 --> 00:13:41,331
WELL, IT'S VERY DIFFICULT.
303
00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:43,233
DON'T YOU KNOW
THERE'S A WAR ON?
304
00:13:43,235 --> 00:13:45,569
LOOK, WE'VE
BEEN HERE FOR AGES
305
00:13:45,571 --> 00:13:47,638
AND NOTHING
SEEMS TO HAPPEN.
306
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,507
TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST,
WE'RE NOT AT ALL SATISFIED
307
00:13:50,509 --> 00:13:52,342
WITH THESE DE GAULLE
RESISTANCE PEOPLE,
308
00:13:52,344 --> 00:13:54,578
AND WE'RE THINKING OF TAKING
OUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE.
309
00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:57,681
THE COMMUNISTS SEEM TO HAVE
MORE GO IN THEM.
310
00:13:57,683 --> 00:14:00,617
COMMUNISTS, I DON'T LIKE
THE SOUND OF THAT.
311
00:14:00,619 --> 00:14:02,553
DADDY WOULD LOSE
HIS SEAT.
312
00:14:02,555 --> 00:14:03,754
PARLIAMENT?
313
00:14:03,756 --> 00:14:05,055
WIMBLEDON.
314
00:14:06,424 --> 00:14:08,759
NO, DEFINITELY
NOT THE COMMUNISTS.
315
00:14:08,761 --> 00:14:11,562
HAVEN'T YOU GOT
A LIBERAL RESISTANCE?
316
00:14:11,564 --> 00:14:14,465
YES, BUT HE'S IN BED
WITH THE FLU.
317
00:14:16,968 --> 00:14:19,169
I AM VERY WORRIED
ABOUT RENE.
318
00:14:19,171 --> 00:14:21,204
IT IS AGES SINCE
ANYONE HAS SEEN HIM.
319
00:14:21,206 --> 00:14:22,973
IF THAT WOMAN
HAS SHOT HIM,
320
00:14:22,975 --> 00:14:24,475
I WILL SPEND
THE REST OF MY LIFE
321
00:14:24,477 --> 00:14:25,976
HOUNDING HER DOWN.
322
00:14:25,978 --> 00:14:27,845
WE MUST ALL
BE VERY BRAVE
323
00:14:27,847 --> 00:14:29,312
AND CARRY ON
AS NORMAL.
324
00:14:30,882 --> 00:14:32,583
MONSIEUR LECLERC!
325
00:14:32,585 --> 00:14:35,385
YOU HAVE NOT CLEANED
BEHIND THE BAR.
326
00:14:35,387 --> 00:14:37,454
IT IS FULL OF EMPTY
BOTTLE TOPS.
327
00:14:37,456 --> 00:14:38,789
I WILL ATTEND TO IT
AT ONCE, MADAME.
328
00:14:38,791 --> 00:14:40,958
ALMANACS!
329
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:44,294
"OLD MOORE'S ALMANACS"!
330
00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:48,131
WHO WILL BUY
AN "OLD MOORE'S ALMANAC,"
331
00:14:49,333 --> 00:14:51,902
FROM AN "OLD MOORE'S
ALMANAC" SELLER?
332
00:14:51,904 --> 00:14:53,169
PSST! PSST!
333
00:14:55,006 --> 00:14:58,008
IT IS I, LECLERC.
334
00:14:58,010 --> 00:15:01,244
NO! IT IS I, LECLERC!
335
00:15:02,780 --> 00:15:05,616
WELL, I AM IN GREAT DANGER
AND NOBODY WILL PROTECT ME.
336
00:15:05,618 --> 00:15:07,518
THEY SEARCH FOR ME
EVERYWHERE.
337
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,786
EVERY MINUTE THERE IS
AN ATTEMPT ON MY LIFE.
338
00:15:09,788 --> 00:15:11,889
( Rene shrieks )
339
00:15:11,891 --> 00:15:15,826
SPECIAL DELIVERY
FOR ARTOIS.
340
00:15:15,828 --> 00:15:18,161
OH, HOW WONDERFUL.
341
00:15:19,363 --> 00:15:21,097
IT IS TICKING.
342
00:15:21,099 --> 00:15:23,934
TICKING?!
IT IS A BOMB!
343
00:15:23,936 --> 00:15:26,570
NO, RENE--
344
00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:31,408
YOU FOOL!
345
00:15:31,410 --> 00:15:34,044
THAT WAS NOT A BOMB.
IT WAS A PRECIOUS CLOCK.
346
00:15:34,046 --> 00:15:35,779
MAMMA WAS GOING
TO GIVE IT TO US
347
00:15:35,781 --> 00:15:37,380
FOR OUR WEDDING PRESENT.
348
00:15:37,382 --> 00:15:39,449
WELL, WHY DID YOU NOT SAY?
349
00:15:39,451 --> 00:15:41,952
OH, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
350
00:15:41,954 --> 00:15:43,921
( water drips )
351
00:15:43,923 --> 00:15:46,156
THE SHOCK WILL KILL HER.
352
00:15:49,460 --> 00:15:51,028
( pieces rattle )
353
00:15:52,063 --> 00:15:55,632
IT WILL BE READY A WEEK
ON THURSDAY.
354
00:16:01,105 --> 00:16:05,042
RENE, SOMETHING VERY STRANGE
IS HAPPENING IN THE STREET.
355
00:16:05,044 --> 00:16:06,109
DO NOT LET THEM IN.
356
00:16:08,145 --> 00:16:09,512
EDITH, MIMI, LOOK!
357
00:16:22,326 --> 00:16:24,494
( barking )
358
00:16:29,233 --> 00:16:31,134
THE CIGARETTE HOLDER,
359
00:16:31,136 --> 00:16:34,204
TIGHT SKIRT,
THE POODLE.
360
00:16:34,206 --> 00:16:37,373
ARE YOU ABOUT TO OFFER ME
A... GOOD TIME? JA?
361
00:16:37,375 --> 00:16:39,242
HOW WOULD YOU
LIKE TO GO
362
00:16:39,244 --> 00:16:40,978
TO THE RUSSIAN
FRONT?
363
00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:44,147
I WAS HOPING FOR A PLACE
A BIT NEARER.
364
00:16:44,149 --> 00:16:46,382
GO AWAY.
365
00:16:53,057 --> 00:16:55,258
WHAT IS YOUR GAME,
MADEMOISELLE?
366
00:16:55,260 --> 00:16:56,827
THIS IS OUR PITCH.
367
00:16:56,829 --> 00:16:59,429
DO YOU WANT TO GET
YOUR FACE BASHED IN?
368
00:16:59,431 --> 00:17:01,932
IT IS I, HELGA.
369
00:17:01,934 --> 00:17:03,399
HELGA?
370
00:17:03,401 --> 00:17:06,269
I AM HERE TO PROTECT RENE
FROM ASSASSINATION.
371
00:17:06,271 --> 00:17:07,303
WHERE IS HE?
372
00:17:07,305 --> 00:17:08,571
HE IS HIDING IN THE CAFE.
373
00:17:08,573 --> 00:17:10,340
I DID NOT SEE HIM ENTER.
374
00:17:10,342 --> 00:17:11,608
HE IS IN DISGUISE.
375
00:17:11,610 --> 00:17:13,443
FOLLOW ME.
376
00:17:21,753 --> 00:17:24,021
OH, IT IS HELGA.
377
00:17:24,023 --> 00:17:25,922
HELGA?
378
00:17:27,058 --> 00:17:29,392
( toy barking )
379
00:17:31,495 --> 00:17:33,163
I EXPECT THE SMOKE
IS BOTHERING IT.
380
00:17:35,066 --> 00:17:36,332
SIT.
381
00:17:37,835 --> 00:17:40,570
I AM WORKING UNDER ORDERS
TO PROTECT YOU, RENE.
382
00:17:40,572 --> 00:17:43,239
SEE, RENE? YOU DO HAVE
FRIENDS AFTER ALL.
383
00:17:43,241 --> 00:17:46,043
HELGA, YOU SHOULD NOT
BE DOING THIS.
384
00:17:46,045 --> 00:17:47,878
IT IS VERY DANGEROUS.
385
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:50,047
STREET GIRLS
HAVE PROTECTORS.
386
00:17:50,049 --> 00:17:51,948
THEY ARE CALLED PIMPS.
387
00:17:51,950 --> 00:17:53,917
YOU MUST NOT UNDERESTIMATE
388
00:17:53,919 --> 00:17:55,819
THE EFFICIENCY
OF THE GERMAN ARMY.
389
00:17:58,222 --> 00:18:00,290
I HAVE A GUN.
390
00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:02,125
I ALSO HAVE--
391
00:18:02,127 --> 00:18:04,127
A PIMP.
392
00:18:04,129 --> 00:18:05,595
( blows whistle )
393
00:18:11,903 --> 00:18:14,304
THAT IS GRUBER.
394
00:18:14,306 --> 00:18:16,973
PLEASE, NOT SO LOUD.
395
00:18:16,975 --> 00:18:19,810
I DO NOT WISH
MY FELLOW OFFICERS
396
00:18:19,812 --> 00:18:21,812
TO FIND OUT THAT
I AM RUNNING A WOMAN.
397
00:18:24,215 --> 00:18:26,183
WHAT IS GOING ON?
398
00:18:26,185 --> 00:18:29,186
WE ARE VERY KEEN
TO PROTECT YOU FROM HARM.
399
00:18:29,188 --> 00:18:31,988
APART FROM...
THE HIGH REGARD
400
00:18:31,990 --> 00:18:34,057
IN WHICH WE HOLD YOU
AS A PERSON AND FRIEND,
401
00:18:34,059 --> 00:18:36,159
YOU KNOW THE WHEREABOUTS
OF THE PAINTINGS,
402
00:18:36,161 --> 00:18:38,128
WHICH ARE GOING TO KEEP US
ALL AFTER THE WAR.
403
00:18:38,130 --> 00:18:41,131
RENE, I AM SURE IF YOU
TOLD LIEUTENANT GRUBER
404
00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:42,866
WHERE THE PAINTINGS ARE,
405
00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:45,301
HE WOULD DO HIS UTMOST
TO PROTECT YOU.
406
00:18:45,303 --> 00:18:47,137
YOU MAY RELY ON IT.
407
00:18:48,672 --> 00:18:50,774
THE PAINTINGS ARE
IN THE HEADQUARTERS
408
00:18:50,776 --> 00:18:52,675
OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE.
409
00:18:52,677 --> 00:18:54,310
BUT, IF YOU THINK I AM
GOING LOOKING FOR THEM,
410
00:18:54,312 --> 00:18:55,478
YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER
THINK COMING.
411
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,448
THIS PLACES ME IN A VERY
DIFFICULT POSITION, RENE.
412
00:18:58,450 --> 00:19:00,416
IF I DO NOT PRODUCE
THE PAINTINGS
413
00:19:00,418 --> 00:19:02,152
FOR GENERAL
VON KLINKERHOFFEN,
414
00:19:02,154 --> 00:19:04,020
HE WILL SEND ME
TO THE RUSSIAN FRONT.
415
00:19:04,022 --> 00:19:05,388
THIS IS QUITE SIMPLE.
416
00:19:05,390 --> 00:19:07,090
WE WILL CONSIDER
ALL THE FACTS,
417
00:19:07,092 --> 00:19:09,059
AND THEN WE WILL
FORM A PLAN.
418
00:19:09,061 --> 00:19:10,927
LET US ALL
SIT DOWN CALMLY,
419
00:19:10,929 --> 00:19:12,195
AND HAVE
A GLASS OF WINE.
420
00:19:12,197 --> 00:19:13,864
MONSIEUR LECLERC,
WINE.
421
00:19:17,835 --> 00:19:20,536
WE MUST NOT FORGET
THAT WE HAVE COPIES
OF THE PAINTINGS.
422
00:19:20,538 --> 00:19:21,604
WHERE ARE THEY?
423
00:19:21,606 --> 00:19:23,339
THEY ARE IN MY LARDER,
424
00:19:23,341 --> 00:19:25,708
SAFELY HIDDEN
IN A VARIETY OF SAUSAGES,
425
00:19:25,710 --> 00:19:27,343
MOSTLY KNOCKWURST.
426
00:19:27,345 --> 00:19:30,380
COULD WE NOT GIVE THEM
TO THE GENERAL,
427
00:19:30,382 --> 00:19:31,714
TO KEEP HIM QUIET?
428
00:19:31,716 --> 00:19:32,883
LIEUTENANT GRUBER,
429
00:19:32,885 --> 00:19:35,051
HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT ATTACKING
430
00:19:35,053 --> 00:19:37,620
COMMUNIST HEADQUARTERS
IN YOUR LITTLE TANK?
431
00:19:37,622 --> 00:19:39,022
WELL, UM...
432
00:19:39,024 --> 00:19:40,824
TO BE FRANK, UH...
433
00:19:40,826 --> 00:19:42,625
FRIGHTENED.
434
00:19:42,627 --> 00:19:44,427
HERE.
435
00:19:44,429 --> 00:19:45,929
OH, THIS IS A VERY
GOOD VINTAGE.
436
00:19:45,931 --> 00:19:47,063
IS IT
FROM OUR CELLAR?
437
00:19:47,065 --> 00:19:48,498
NO, NO, NO.
438
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:50,400
IT WAS SENT TO YOU
AS A PRESENT,
439
00:19:50,402 --> 00:19:53,236
WITH A NOTE
TO SAY "GOOD LUCK."
440
00:19:53,238 --> 00:19:56,072
RENE HAS SO MANY
ADMIRERS.
441
00:19:56,074 --> 00:19:58,108
SHALL I POUR?
442
00:19:58,110 --> 00:19:59,242
GO AHEAD.
443
00:20:02,246 --> 00:20:03,814
GIVE ME
THE BOTTLE.
444
00:20:03,816 --> 00:20:05,916
YOU'RE GETTING
MORE ON THE TABLE
THAN IN THE GLASS.
445
00:20:05,918 --> 00:20:06,983
RENE!
446
00:20:11,422 --> 00:20:13,690
THAT IS IT.
THEY ARE AFTER ME.
447
00:20:13,692 --> 00:20:15,692
I'M NOT STAYING HERE
ONE MOMENT LONGER.
448
00:20:15,694 --> 00:20:17,961
I AM HEADING
FOR THE STATION.
449
00:20:17,963 --> 00:20:19,429
( register rings )
450
00:20:19,431 --> 00:20:21,231
THERE MUST BE A VACANCY
FOR A CUCKOO CLOCK SALESMAN
451
00:20:21,233 --> 00:20:23,433
SOMEWHERE IN SWITZERLAND.
452
00:20:23,435 --> 00:20:25,235
RENE, YOU MUST
NOT LEAVE HERE.
453
00:20:25,237 --> 00:20:27,204
WE WILL HAVE TO
PREVENT YOU FROM LEAVING.
454
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,407
STAND BACK!
455
00:20:31,409 --> 00:20:34,110
I AM A DESPERATE MAN.
456
00:20:34,112 --> 00:20:37,447
ANYBODY WHO TRIES
TO FOLLOW ME,
457
00:20:37,449 --> 00:20:39,749
WILL DO SO
AT THEIR PERIL.
458
00:20:39,751 --> 00:20:43,186
RENE, I HAVE NEVER
SEEN YOU LIKE THIS.
459
00:20:46,724 --> 00:20:49,259
ANYBODY WHO TRIES
TO FOLLOW...
460
00:20:49,261 --> 00:20:51,862
WILL DIE! FAREWELL.
461
00:20:59,470 --> 00:21:01,537
DO NOT MAKE A SOUND.
462
00:21:02,706 --> 00:21:05,008
DENISE IS WAITING
IN THE TRUCK.
463
00:21:05,010 --> 00:21:07,110
SHE WANTS TO HAVE
A LITTLE TALK WITH YOU.
464
00:21:08,312 --> 00:21:10,747
( old man's voice )
WHY WOULD SHE WANT
465
00:21:10,749 --> 00:21:12,382
TO TALK TO AN OLD
466
00:21:12,384 --> 00:21:14,484
LAME BENT OLD MAN?
467
00:21:14,486 --> 00:21:16,486
CAN YOU NOT SEE
468
00:21:16,488 --> 00:21:18,521
THAT I AM MY FATHER?
469
00:21:18,523 --> 00:21:20,090
WALK!
470
00:21:31,568 --> 00:21:35,338
AH, YOU MUST BE DENISE.
471
00:21:35,340 --> 00:21:37,673
I AM THE DEAR OLD LAME
472
00:21:37,675 --> 00:21:39,943
FATHER OF RENE ARTOIS,
473
00:21:39,945 --> 00:21:42,112
WHO WAS SO SADLY SHOT.
474
00:21:42,114 --> 00:21:44,180
TAKE OFF THAT DISGUISE.
475
00:21:46,850 --> 00:21:49,252
NOW, LOOK, I--
OOOH.
476
00:21:49,254 --> 00:21:51,187
I CAN EXPLAIN
ABOUT THE CHURCH.
477
00:21:51,189 --> 00:21:53,323
THERE WAS SO MANY PEOPLE
WAITING TO MARRY ME,
478
00:21:53,325 --> 00:21:56,059
THAT SOME OF THEM RESENTED
YOU JUMPING THE QUEUE.
479
00:21:56,061 --> 00:21:58,895
SAVE YOUR WORDS.
I KNOW THE TRUTH.
480
00:21:58,897 --> 00:22:01,131
IN A FIT OF PIQUE,
I TRIED TO HAVE YOU SHOT,
481
00:22:01,133 --> 00:22:03,333
ONLY TO DISCOVER
THAT YOU WERE BLAMELESS.
482
00:22:03,335 --> 00:22:05,835
IT IS THE WOMEN OF THE CAFE
THAT I SHOULD KILL.
483
00:22:05,837 --> 00:22:08,972
WELL, OF COURSE.
YES, THEY ARE TO BLAME.
484
00:22:08,974 --> 00:22:11,341
BUT IS NOT KILLING
A BIT DRASTIC?
485
00:22:11,343 --> 00:22:13,609
I AM SURE THEY
WOULD APOLOGIZE,
486
00:22:13,611 --> 00:22:15,211
PAY YOU NOMINAL DAMAGES.
487
00:22:15,213 --> 00:22:18,614
THEY WILL MEET THEIR FATE
IN THE FULLNESS OF TIME.
488
00:22:18,616 --> 00:22:21,584
NOW, HOLD ME.
489
00:22:21,586 --> 00:22:24,421
KISS ME. CRUSH YOUR LIPS
WITH MY LIPS,
490
00:22:24,423 --> 00:22:26,456
AND TELL ME YOU WILL
NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN.
491
00:22:26,458 --> 00:22:29,359
( garbled )
I WILL NEVER
LEAVE YOU AGAIN.
492
00:22:31,062 --> 00:22:32,462
NOW, I HAVE BAD NEWS.
493
00:22:32,464 --> 00:22:34,998
I MUST GO TO LYON
FOR THE PARTY CONFERENCE.
494
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,167
I HAVE BEEN NOMINATED
TO BE PARTY CHAIRMAN.
495
00:22:37,169 --> 00:22:40,003
OH DEAR. CAN YOU NOT
GET OUT OF IT?
496
00:22:40,005 --> 00:22:42,205
NO, ALL IS READY FOR ME.
497
00:22:42,207 --> 00:22:44,040
THE BALLOTS
HAVE BEEN RIGGED.
498
00:22:44,042 --> 00:22:46,509
THE MODERATES ARE
UNDER LOCK AND KEY.
499
00:22:46,511 --> 00:22:49,545
THE DEMOCRATIC PROCESS
MUST TAKE ITS COURSE.
500
00:22:49,547 --> 00:22:51,581
BUT I SHALL RETURN,
501
00:22:51,583 --> 00:22:53,416
FOR REVENGE
502
00:22:53,418 --> 00:22:55,551
AND FOR LOVE!
503
00:22:55,553 --> 00:22:57,253
I CAN HARDLY WAIT.
504
00:22:59,756 --> 00:23:01,691
A GERMAN PATROL
IS APPROACHING.
505
00:23:01,693 --> 00:23:02,692
QUICK, I MUST GO.
506
00:23:02,694 --> 00:23:04,660
AARGHH!
507
00:23:10,334 --> 00:23:12,869
FAREWELL,
LOVE OF MY LIFE.
508
00:23:12,871 --> 00:23:14,337
UNTIL I RETURN.
509
00:23:17,908 --> 00:23:20,110
( theme music playing )