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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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( theme music playing )
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THESE PILLS I AM TAKING
ARE TO CALM MY NERVES.
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I NEED THEM BECAUSE
I HAVE JUST PHOTOGRAPHED
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THE MAP OF THE GERMAN PLAN
TO INVADE ENGLAND.
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THE RESISTANCE ARE,
AT THIS MOMENT,
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DEVELOPING THE NEGATIVE.
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THE PHOTOGRAPH WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE FLOWN TO ENGLAND
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ATTACHED TO THE LEG
OF A LONG DISTANCE DUCK.
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UNFORTUNATELY,
THE DUCK ESCAPED,
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AND IS NOW BEING HUNTED
BY MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,
THE UNDERTAKER,
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AND MONSIEUR LECLERC,
THE OLD FORGER.
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AH!
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WHAT ARE
YOU DOING, EDITH?
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I HAVE JUST BEEN DOWN
THE CELLAR,
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RETURNING THE UNIFORM
OF THE FRENCH GENERAL,
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WHICH WAS USED
BY THE AGENT CRABTREE.
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HOW IS THE FRENCH GENERAL?
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HE IS STILL PARALYZED
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FROM THE RESISTANCE PILL
GIVEN TO HIM BY MIMI.
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LET US HOPE
HE STAYS THAT WAY.
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HE IS A COLLABORATOR,
AND DANGEROUS.
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SHOULD HE REGAIN
CONSCIOUSNESS,
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MIMI HAS ATTACHED A CHAIN
FROM HIS ANKLE TO A BALL.
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WELL, THAT SHOULD HINDER
HIS MOVEMENTS.
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( knocking )
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SEE WHO IS
AT THE DOOR, QUICK.
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OH, IT IS MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,
WITH A DUCK ON HIS HEAD!
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COME IN, COME IN.
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DID YOU CATCH
THE LONG DISTANCE DUCK?
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IT IS IN THE BASKET.
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IT HAS PASSED OUT.
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YOU CRUEL THINGS,
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO IT?
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THE ITALIAN CAPTAIN,
HE SHOT IT.
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OH MY GOD!
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HOW ARE WE GOING
TO GET THE FILM TO ENGLAND?
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IT IS VERY MYSTERIOUS.
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THERE IS NO MARK
ON THE BODY.
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NOT A FEATHER IS RUFFLED.
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PERHAPS HE FAINTED
WITH FRIGHT
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AT THE SOUND OF THE GUN?
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DO NOT BE RIDICULOUS.
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DUCKS ARE USED
TO BEING SHOT AT.
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IT HAPPENS TO THEM
ALL THE TIME.
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FORTUNATELY, I HAVE
MY STETHOSCOPE.
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WE UNDERTAKERS
CANNOT BE TOO CAREFUL.
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IF WE BURY PEOPLE
BEFORE THEY ARE DEAD,
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THEY GET VERY CROSS,
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AND THEY SUE US
FOR DAMAGES!
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NOW, SILENCE PLEASE,
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WHILE I GIVE IT A TEST.
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( coughs )
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OH MY GOD!
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MY PILLS!
I MUST TAKE A PILL!
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GIVE IT TO ME.
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LET ME TRY.
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- CAN YOU HEAR ANYTHING?
- SHH!
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IS HE BREATHING?
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BREATHING?
HE IS SNORING!
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THE POOR LITTLE THING
MUST BE EXHAUSTED
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FROM ALL THAT
FLYING ABOUT.
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I WILL TAKE
HIS TEMPERATURE.
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( duck quacks )
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WELL, THAT HAS STOPPED
HIM SNORING.
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IT MAY HAVE INTERRUPTED
A NICE DREAM.
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YES, IT PROBABLY STARTED ONE.
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FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE,
SIT DOWN, FAIRFAX.
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YOU'RE LIKE
A CAGED LION.
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I AM A CAGED LION.
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I CAN'T STAND BEING
COOPED UP
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IN A POLICE STATION
MUCH LONGER.
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CRABTREE WILL
LET US OUT.
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I HAVE AN IDEA
RUNNING ROUND MY HEAD.
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WELL, TRIP IT UP
AND LET'S HEAR IT.
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THERE'S ALWAYS A LITTLE TANK
PARKED OUTSIDE THE CAFE.
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WHY DON'T WE
DRESS UP AS KRAUTS
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AND STEAL IT?
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CAN YOU DRIVE A TANK?
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I DROVE
AN AUSTIN SEVEN ONCE.
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MUST BE THE SAME PRINCIPLE.
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WE COULD FIGHT OUR WAY
DOWN TO THE DOCKS,
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BASH INTO THEM,
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HIJACK A SUBMARINE,
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AND THEN POODLE ACROSS
TO ENGLAND.
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MY GOD, YOU'RE BRAVE.
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YES, I AM, AREN'T I?
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GOOD LUCK.
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NOW, GRUBER,
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I HAVE HERE A PLAN
OF THE SAWMILL,
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DRAWN BY LECLERC,
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THE PIANIST
AT THE CAFE.
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THE ORIGINAL PAINTINGS
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
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WITH THE BIG BOOBIES
BY VAN CLOMP,
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AND THE CRACKED VASE
WITH THE BIG DAISES
BY VAN GOGH,
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ARE SOMEWHERE INSIDE.
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HOW MANY MEMBERS
OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE
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ARE DEFENDING THE MILL?
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WE DO NOT KNOW,
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AND WE DO NOT CARE.
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CAPTAIN BERTORELLI
AND HIS PLATOON
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WILL LEAD
THE ASSAULT.
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DO WE TELL HIM
ABOUT THE PAINTINGS?
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NO. WHEN HE HAS DONE
THE DIRTY WORK,
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YOU WILL BURST
THROUGH THE WALL
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IN YOUR LITTLE TANK,
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JUMP OUT
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AND NICK THE PAINTINGS.
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BUT I DO NOT KNOW
WHERE TO LOOK.
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TAKE RENE WITH YOU.
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HE HID THEM THERE
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
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SUPPOSE HE WILL NOT
DISCLOSE THE WHEREABOUTS
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OF THE PAINTINGS?
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HIT HIM AND KICK HIM
UNTIL HE DOES.
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DID YOU LEARN NOTHING
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AT OFFICER'S
TRAINING SCHOOL?
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( yelling )
CAPTAIN ALBERTO BERTORELLI!
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COLONEL, MY FRIEND,
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HOW ARE YOU GETTING ON, EH?
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YOU'RE LATE.
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I TRAIN MY TROOPS.
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THEY ARE FANATICS.
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THEY ARE BRAVE
FIGHTING MEN.
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THEY TAKE THE BAYONET
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AND THEY KILL
THE HAYSTACK.
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WE HAVE A JOB
FOR THEM.
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THIS IS THE MILL
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WHERE THE COMMUNIST
RESISTANCE ARE HIDING.
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YOU WILL CAPTURE THEM.
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HOW MANY MEN
DO YOU HAVE?
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I HAVE 20
OF THE FINEST
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FIGHTING MEN
IN THE WORLD.
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HOW MANY ARE
THE COMMUNISTS?
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10.
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COLONEL, MY MEN
WILL DO THIS,
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EVEN THOUGH THE ODDS
ARE AGAINST US.
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COLONEL,
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GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN
IS HERE!
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GENERAL
VON KLINKERHOFFEN!
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AH, THE BIGGER THE NOISE.
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( yelling )
GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN!
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- HEIL HITLER!
- Colonel: HEIL HITLER!
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GENERAL, MY FRIEND,
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HOW'S IT GETTING ON, EH?
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DO NOT SPEAK UNTIL
YOU ARE SPOKEN TO.
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THE TOWN UNDER YOUR COMMAND
IS A DISGRACE.
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YOU HAVE THE WORST SECURITY
IN ALL OCCUPIED FRANCE.
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YESTERDAY,
UNDER YOUR VERY NOSE
147
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AN ATTEMPT WAS MADE
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TO POISON THE TOP BRASS
IN THE GERMAN FORCES,
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AS WE WERE MEETING TO PLAN
THE INVASION OF ENGLAND.
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BUT GENERAL,
THE SUBSTANCE WAS HARMLESS.
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NEXT TIME IT MAY NOT
BE HARMLESS.
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NOW, WHO KNEW
OF THIS MEETING?
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ONLY THE OTHER GENERALS.
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ARE YOU SO STUPID
AS TO SUGGEST
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WE WOULD POISON OURSELVES?
156
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WHO ELSE?
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RENE AT THE CAFE.
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ARREST HIM, AND SHOOT HIM.
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YES, GENERAL.
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General:
NOW THEN,
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HAVE YOU RECOVERED
THE PAINTINGS?
162
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PAINTINGS?
WHAT PAINTINGS?
163
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DID I SPEAK TO YOU?
164
00:06:42,929 --> 00:06:44,728
- NO.
- THEN SHUT UP.
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NO, WE HAVEN'T RECOVERED THEM,
BUT WE ARE WORKING ON IT.
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IF THEY ARE NOT RETURNED
BY THE END OF THE WEEK,
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YOU, TOO, WILL BE SHOT.
IS THAT CLEAR?
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OF COURSE, GENERAL.
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THAT IS ALL.
SEE TO IT!
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00:06:58,844 --> 00:07:01,712
IF IN THE ITALIAN ARMY
WE HAVE A GENERAL LIKE THAT,
171
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WE TELL THE MAFIA.
WE MAKE THE CONTRACT.
172
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HE BITE THE DUST.
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I HEARD THAT!
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OH, MY!
WHAT A MISTAKE TO MAKE!
175
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NOW LISTEN, MICHELLE,
BEFORE YOU SAY THIS ONLY ONCE,
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I HAVE TO TELL YOU
THE LONG DISTANCE DUCK
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IS SUFFERING FROM
FEATHER FATIGUE--
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IT IS IN NO CONDITION
TO FLY TO ENGLAND.
179
00:07:21,701 --> 00:07:23,968
HIS JOURNEY WILL NOT
BE NECESSARY.
180
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THE PICTURES ARE USELESS.
181
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WE PHOTOGRAPHED THE MAP.
182
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YES, WITH NOTHING ON IT.
183
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
184
00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:33,711
NO MARKS, NO ARROWS,
NO FLAGS-- NOTHING!
185
00:07:33,713 --> 00:07:34,979
WHY DID YOU NOT WAIT
186
00:07:34,981 --> 00:07:36,680
UNTIL THEY HAD
FORMED A PLAN?
187
00:07:36,682 --> 00:07:38,082
YOU ARE INCOMPETENT!
188
00:07:38,084 --> 00:07:39,783
RIGHT!
THAT IS IT!
189
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I RESIGN!
190
00:07:41,154 --> 00:07:43,154
I AM NO LONGER
IN THE RESISTANCE.
191
00:07:43,156 --> 00:07:44,155
I AM NO LONGER
192
00:07:44,157 --> 00:07:45,490
THE BRAVEST MAN
IN ALL FRANCE.
193
00:07:45,492 --> 00:07:46,957
YOU CAN TAKE
YOUR RADIO,
194
00:07:46,959 --> 00:07:47,992
AND YOUR DUCK,
195
00:07:47,994 --> 00:07:49,960
AND YOU CAN--
196
00:07:49,962 --> 00:07:52,063
YOU CAN FIND
SOMEBODY ELSE!
197
00:07:52,065 --> 00:07:53,564
YOU CANNOT
MEAN THIS.
198
00:07:53,566 --> 00:07:55,133
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
A LETTER?
199
00:07:55,135 --> 00:07:57,435
NO, NO, PLEASE,
RENE, STAY WITH US.
200
00:07:57,437 --> 00:08:00,804
OH, RENE, HOW CAN WE
GO ON WITHOUT YOU?
201
00:08:00,806 --> 00:08:03,607
IF YOU ASK ME,
A JOLLY SIGHT BETTER.
202
00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:05,510
HE WAS ALWAYS A LIABILITY.
203
00:08:05,512 --> 00:08:07,011
I WILL TAKE OVER FROM HIM.
204
00:08:07,013 --> 00:08:09,013
YOU TAKE OVER? HA!
205
00:08:09,015 --> 00:08:11,182
PLEASE, RENE,
THINK AGAIN.
206
00:08:11,184 --> 00:08:12,683
- NO.
- WE ALL NEED YOU.
207
00:08:12,685 --> 00:08:13,951
NO, I AM FINISHED.
208
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:17,121
LET ME SPEAK
WITH HIM ALONE.
209
00:08:17,123 --> 00:08:18,122
ALONE?
210
00:08:18,124 --> 00:08:19,123
ALONE.
211
00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:20,358
ALONE?
212
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,226
ALONE.
213
00:08:22,228 --> 00:08:23,294
ALONE?
214
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:25,796
ALONE.
215
00:08:25,798 --> 00:08:27,532
VERY WELL.
216
00:08:32,104 --> 00:08:34,205
WELL?
217
00:08:34,207 --> 00:08:36,074
I ONLY HAVE ONE THING
TO SAY TO YOU.
218
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,210
I, TOO, CANNOT
GO ON WITHOUT YOU.
219
00:08:39,212 --> 00:08:40,611
I LOVE YOU.
220
00:08:40,613 --> 00:08:42,113
I ALWAYS HAVE,
221
00:08:42,115 --> 00:08:43,747
AND UNTIL
THE END OF TIME,
222
00:08:43,749 --> 00:08:45,283
I ALWAYS WILL.
223
00:08:45,285 --> 00:08:47,185
OH MY GOD!
224
00:08:49,020 --> 00:08:51,122
I WONDER WHAT
SHE IS SAYING TO HIM?
225
00:08:51,124 --> 00:08:53,091
I THINK I CAN
HEAR BANGING.
226
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,596
I HOPE SHE IS NOT
DOING HIM A MISCHIEF.
227
00:08:58,598 --> 00:09:01,031
HE NEEDS A GOOD
TALKING TO.
228
00:09:01,033 --> 00:09:04,202
I THINK SHE IS
GIVING HIM ONE.
229
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,206
WELL...
230
00:09:13,745 --> 00:09:16,080
... THAT IS SETTLED.
231
00:09:16,082 --> 00:09:18,082
I HAVE JUST
SEEN EVERYTHING
232
00:09:18,084 --> 00:09:20,651
FROM A NEW ANGLE.
233
00:09:20,653 --> 00:09:22,786
I AM NOW BACK
IN MY OLD POSITION.
234
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:26,257
WE MUST GET
ON THE RADIO TO LONDON,
235
00:09:26,259 --> 00:09:28,559
AND TELL THEM ABOUT
THE PHOTOGRAPHS.
236
00:09:32,797 --> 00:09:34,765
MAMMA, I AM SORRY
TO DISTURB YOU,
237
00:09:34,767 --> 00:09:37,201
BUT WE HAVE TO GET
ON THE WIRELESS
TO LONDON.
238
00:09:42,408 --> 00:09:43,941
'ALLO, LONDON,
'ALLO, LONDON.
239
00:09:43,943 --> 00:09:47,145
THIS IS NIGHTHAWK CALLING,
ARE YOU RECEIVING ME, OVER?
240
00:09:47,147 --> 00:09:48,479
'Allo, Nighthawk.
241
00:09:48,481 --> 00:09:50,748
There is
much interference.
242
00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:51,916
( radio static )
243
00:09:51,918 --> 00:09:53,784
We are trying
to rectify it.
244
00:09:53,786 --> 00:09:55,753
- Hold on.
- HOLD ON, HE SAYS.
245
00:09:55,755 --> 00:09:57,721
DO THEY NOT KNOW
THERE IS A WAR ON?
246
00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:59,557
EDITH, EDITH.
247
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,093
WHAT IS IT, MAMMA?
248
00:10:02,095 --> 00:10:04,162
WHY IS THERE,
249
00:10:04,164 --> 00:10:05,496
IN MY BED,
250
00:10:05,498 --> 00:10:07,965
ON MY HOT WATER BOTTLE,
251
00:10:07,967 --> 00:10:09,300
A DUCK?
252
00:10:10,769 --> 00:10:12,503
YOU WERE ASLEEP.
253
00:10:12,505 --> 00:10:14,172
HE WAS SUFFERING
FROM SHOCK.
254
00:10:14,174 --> 00:10:16,006
WE WERE TRYING
TO KEEP HIM WARM.
255
00:10:17,008 --> 00:10:19,143
IT IS NOT A HE.
256
00:10:19,145 --> 00:10:20,945
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
257
00:10:24,015 --> 00:10:25,015
RENE!
258
00:10:25,017 --> 00:10:27,985
IT IS A LONG DISTANCE
LADY DUCK!
259
00:10:27,987 --> 00:10:30,020
PUT IT BACK
UNDER YOUR MOTHER.
260
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:35,793
DO YOU EXPECT
A POOR OLD WOMAN
261
00:10:35,795 --> 00:10:37,061
TO HATCH A DUCK?
262
00:10:37,063 --> 00:10:38,862
YOU WILL DO
AS YOU ARE TOLD!
263
00:10:40,332 --> 00:10:41,499
YOU CRUEL MAN!
264
00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:43,267
NOW YOU HAVE
MADE HER BROODY.
265
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,105
RENE, LIEUTENANT GRUBER
IS DOWNSTAIRS
266
00:10:47,107 --> 00:10:48,406
WITH TWO STORMTROOPERS.
267
00:10:48,408 --> 00:10:50,441
- THEY ARE GOING
TO ARREST YOU.
- NO!
268
00:10:50,443 --> 00:10:52,610
THEY ARE COMING UPSTAIRS,
I COULD NOT STOP THEM.
269
00:10:52,612 --> 00:10:53,611
OH MY GOD!
270
00:10:53,613 --> 00:10:55,713
- RENE, IN THE CUPBOARD.
- YES.
271
00:10:55,715 --> 00:10:56,747
HIDE THE RADIO.
272
00:10:56,749 --> 00:10:58,216
BUT I HAVE NOT
SWITCHED IT OFF!
273
00:10:58,218 --> 00:10:59,283
TOO LATE.
274
00:10:59,285 --> 00:11:01,051
MIMI, THE SPEAKER!
275
00:11:03,222 --> 00:11:04,922
OH!
276
00:11:04,924 --> 00:11:07,325
MAMMA, PRETEND
TO BE DYING.
277
00:11:07,327 --> 00:11:08,593
WHAT FROM?
278
00:11:08,595 --> 00:11:10,261
ANYTHING.
279
00:11:10,263 --> 00:11:11,529
( moaning )
280
00:11:11,531 --> 00:11:13,397
( knocking )
281
00:11:13,399 --> 00:11:14,865
EXCUSE ME, MADAME.
282
00:11:14,867 --> 00:11:17,368
YOU HAVE COME AT A BAD TIME,
LIEUTENANT GRUBER.
283
00:11:17,370 --> 00:11:20,204
MY MOTHER IS BREATHING
HER LAST BREATH,
284
00:11:20,206 --> 00:11:21,572
EVEN AS I SPEAK.
285
00:11:21,574 --> 00:11:22,873
( inhales loudly )
286
00:11:25,043 --> 00:11:26,744
OH, EDITH.
287
00:11:26,746 --> 00:11:28,546
GOODBYE, MY CHILD.
288
00:11:28,548 --> 00:11:30,448
GOODBYE, YVETTE.
289
00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:32,183
GOODBYE, MIMI.
290
00:11:32,185 --> 00:11:35,586
GOODBYE, MICHELLE
OF THE RESISTANCE.
291
00:11:38,023 --> 00:11:39,457
SHE IS DELIRIOUS.
292
00:11:39,459 --> 00:11:41,692
( inhales loudly )
293
00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:46,230
THERE, SHE IS GONE--
294
00:11:46,232 --> 00:11:48,266
( radio static;
flatulent sound )
295
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,236
ALMOST.
296
00:11:53,472 --> 00:11:55,640
EVEN NOW,
HER RESTLESS SPIRIT
297
00:11:55,642 --> 00:11:57,642
IS LEAVING
HER MORTAL BODY.
298
00:11:57,644 --> 00:12:00,144
( quacking )
299
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,357
IT SEEMS TO BE
HAVING DIFFICULTY
300
00:12:13,359 --> 00:12:14,725
GETTING THROUGH
THE SHEET.
301
00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:19,997
IT IS A DUCK!
302
00:12:19,999 --> 00:12:21,566
WE ARE SIMPLE PEASANTS.
303
00:12:21,568 --> 00:12:24,735
IT IS OUR CUSTOM TO PUT
IN THE BED OF AN AILING WOMAN,
304
00:12:24,737 --> 00:12:25,769
A DUCK.
305
00:12:25,771 --> 00:12:28,339
THERE IS AN OLD
COUNTRY VERSE:
306
00:12:28,341 --> 00:12:30,308
"IT IS VERY GOOD LUCK,
307
00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:31,942
WHEN SOMEONE IS DEAD,
308
00:12:31,944 --> 00:12:33,544
TO HAVE A WHITE DUCK,
309
00:12:33,546 --> 00:12:35,513
AT THE END OF THE BED."
310
00:12:36,781 --> 00:12:38,516
IT IS NOT WHITE.
311
00:12:38,518 --> 00:12:41,919
THERE IS A WAR ON.
312
00:12:43,422 --> 00:12:45,456
WE ARE LOOKING FOR RENE.
313
00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:48,659
CLEARLY HE IS NOT HERE.
WE WILL SEARCH ELSEWHERE.
314
00:12:48,661 --> 00:12:50,027
WHAT ABOUT
THE CUPBOARD?
315
00:12:51,697 --> 00:12:53,931
I WILL LOOK THERE.
316
00:12:53,933 --> 00:12:55,999
YOU LOOK
DOWN THE CORRIDOR.
317
00:12:56,001 --> 00:12:57,401
SHOO! SHOO!
318
00:13:05,344 --> 00:13:07,811
AS I THOUGHT, IT IS EMPTY.
319
00:13:09,047 --> 00:13:10,147
RENE,
320
00:13:10,149 --> 00:13:12,416
IT IS BELIEVED YOU
WERE BEHIND THE PLOT
321
00:13:12,418 --> 00:13:14,552
TO MURDER THE GENERALS.
YOU ARE TO BE SHOT.
322
00:13:14,554 --> 00:13:17,020
I DID NOT DO IT,
I PROMISE.
323
00:13:18,390 --> 00:13:21,325
YOU MUST DISAPPEAR
UNTIL WE REVEAL
324
00:13:21,327 --> 00:13:23,127
THE TRUE CULPRIT.
325
00:13:23,129 --> 00:13:25,062
MEANWHILE,
STAY IN THE CLOSET.
326
00:13:29,868 --> 00:13:32,603
I REGRET
THIS INTRUSION, MADAME,
327
00:13:32,605 --> 00:13:34,204
AT THE TIME OF YOUR GRIEF.
328
00:13:34,206 --> 00:13:36,374
( radio static;
flatulent sound )
329
00:13:37,809 --> 00:13:38,976
HEIL HITLER.
330
00:13:40,245 --> 00:13:41,945
- HEIL HITLER.
- ( spits )
331
00:13:44,883 --> 00:13:47,117
( yelling )
HERR FLICK, OF THE GESTAPO!
332
00:13:50,088 --> 00:13:51,221
Colonel:
AH, HERR FLICK--
333
00:13:51,223 --> 00:13:53,924
CAPTAIN ALBERTO BERTORELLI,
HERR FLICK.
334
00:13:53,926 --> 00:13:55,092
HERR FLICK,
335
00:13:55,094 --> 00:13:57,627
THE SECRET POLICE--
I HEAR ALL ABOUT YOU.
336
00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:59,296
HOW ARE YOU
GETTING ON, EH?
337
00:13:59,298 --> 00:14:01,765
WHAT FOR YOU TELL ME
HE A NASTY MAN?
338
00:14:03,568 --> 00:14:05,703
HE HAS A KIND FACE,
339
00:14:05,705 --> 00:14:07,204
LIKE A LITTLE ANGEL.
340
00:14:07,206 --> 00:14:09,506
TAKE THE SEAT.
MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
341
00:14:09,508 --> 00:14:11,274
WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU?
342
00:14:11,276 --> 00:14:14,011
WHAT I HAVE TO SAY IS FOR
THE EARS OF THE COLONEL,
343
00:14:14,013 --> 00:14:16,113
AND NOT FOR A WOP
IN A FEATHER HAT.
344
00:14:18,783 --> 00:14:20,751
I TAKE THE HINT.
345
00:14:20,753 --> 00:14:21,852
I GO.
346
00:14:23,254 --> 00:14:24,688
THE BEAUTIFUL LADY,
347
00:14:24,690 --> 00:14:27,524
I KISS YOUR HAND.
348
00:14:27,526 --> 00:14:28,558
( barks )
349
00:14:29,961 --> 00:14:31,394
WHAT HITLER
WAS THINKING ABOUT
350
00:14:31,396 --> 00:14:33,496
WHEN HE BROUGHT THAT LOT
INTO OUR WAR,
351
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:34,631
I CANNOT IMAGINE.
352
00:14:35,867 --> 00:14:37,968
HAD I BEEN
IN CHARGE OF SECURITY,
353
00:14:37,970 --> 00:14:39,302
THERE WOULD NOT
HAVE BEEN AN ATTEMPT
354
00:14:39,304 --> 00:14:40,871
ON THE LIFE
OF THE GENERALS.
355
00:14:40,873 --> 00:14:42,072
YOU ARE A BUNGLER.
356
00:14:42,074 --> 00:14:44,174
WE ALREADY HAVE A SUSPECT--
357
00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:45,542
RENE AT THE CAFE.
358
00:14:45,544 --> 00:14:47,677
WE'RE GOING TO SHOOT HIM.
359
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:50,313
HOW CAN I INTERROGATE HIM,
IF YOU SHOOT HIM?
360
00:14:51,315 --> 00:14:52,482
WHAT IS MORE,
361
00:14:52,484 --> 00:14:54,184
I DO NOT BELIEVE HIM
TO BE THE GUILTY ONE.
362
00:14:54,186 --> 00:14:56,887
HE IS TOO OBVIOUS
TO BE USED BY THE RESISTANCE.
363
00:14:56,889 --> 00:14:59,356
THERE IS CLEARLY
SOMEONE ELSE.
364
00:14:59,358 --> 00:15:02,259
THERE WAS, AT OUR MEETING,
A FRENCH GENERAL.
365
00:15:02,261 --> 00:15:03,393
HE'S FROM VICHY,
366
00:15:03,395 --> 00:15:05,629
AND THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
ON OUR SIDE.
367
00:15:05,631 --> 00:15:08,632
ONCE AGAIN HELGA HAS
PUT HER FINGER ON IT.
368
00:15:09,768 --> 00:15:11,501
WE MUST FIND
THIS FRENCH GENERAL,
369
00:15:11,503 --> 00:15:13,603
ARREST HIM,
AND INTERROGATE HIM.
370
00:15:13,605 --> 00:15:14,838
DO YOU HAVE A DESCRIPTION?
371
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:17,174
HE HAS A BIG NOSE.
372
00:15:17,176 --> 00:15:20,343
ALL FRENCH GENERALS
HAVE BIG NOSES.
373
00:15:20,345 --> 00:15:21,979
HE IS TALL,
374
00:15:21,981 --> 00:15:24,815
AND HE IS DRESSED
AS A FRENCH GENERAL.
375
00:15:24,817 --> 00:15:27,017
WITH THIS DESCRIPTION,
376
00:15:27,019 --> 00:15:29,319
WE SHOULD BE ABLE
TO FIND HIM.
377
00:15:29,321 --> 00:15:30,320
WHEN WE DO,
378
00:15:30,322 --> 00:15:31,454
I WILL ARREST HIM.
379
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:36,193
YVETTE, COGNACS FOR
THE COLONEL'S TABLE.
380
00:15:36,195 --> 00:15:38,295
EDITH, I AM SICK
WITH WORRY.
381
00:15:38,297 --> 00:15:39,429
WHERE IS RENE?
382
00:15:39,431 --> 00:15:41,031
SHH! HE IS DOWN
THE CELLAR
383
00:15:41,033 --> 00:15:42,065
WITH MONSIEUR LECLERC.
384
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,134
BUT THE FRENCH GENERAL
IS ALSO DOWN THERE.
385
00:15:44,136 --> 00:15:46,804
HE IS STILL UNCONSCIOUS
FROM THE PILL OF MIMI.
386
00:15:46,806 --> 00:15:50,440
WHEN I PARALYZE A MAN,
HE STAYS PARALYZED.
387
00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:54,344
HOW ARE WE GOING TO
GET RENE AWAY FROM THE CAFE
388
00:15:54,346 --> 00:15:56,446
WITH THE COLONEL
AND GRUBER THERE?
389
00:15:56,448 --> 00:15:58,081
GRUBER WILL NOT
GIVE HIM AWAY.
390
00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:01,118
I WILL TRY TO GET
THE COLONEL UPSTAIRS.
391
00:16:05,456 --> 00:16:07,090
YOUR DRINKS, COLONEL.
392
00:16:09,727 --> 00:16:13,096
AND WHEN YOU ARE READY
TO GO UPSTAIRS,
393
00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:16,666
I HAVE A SPECIAL
END-OF-SEASON OFFER--
394
00:16:18,469 --> 00:16:21,471
WET RHUBARB.
395
00:16:24,309 --> 00:16:25,843
I'M SORRY, YVETTE.
396
00:16:25,845 --> 00:16:27,277
ATTRACTIVE
AS IT SOUNDS,
397
00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:29,346
I HAVE TO STAY HERE
UNTIL I'VE SEEN RENE.
398
00:16:32,717 --> 00:16:35,518
AS SOON AS
WE'VE ARRESTED RENE,
WE WILL SAY HE'S ESCAPED.
399
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,355
GRUBER, YOU MUST HIDE HIM
IN YOUR ROOM AT THE CHATEAU.
400
00:16:38,357 --> 00:16:39,389
OF COURSE.
401
00:16:39,391 --> 00:16:42,492
I WILL NOT LET HIM
OUT OF MY SIGHT.
402
00:16:42,494 --> 00:16:44,361
HE MUST RECOVER FOR US
THE PAINTINGS,
403
00:16:44,363 --> 00:16:47,197
AND THEN IF THE GENERAL
INSISTS ON SHOOTING HIM,
404
00:16:47,199 --> 00:16:48,765
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
405
00:16:54,705 --> 00:16:56,006
DEAR MADAME EDITH,
406
00:16:56,008 --> 00:16:57,908
I HAVE HERE FOR RENE,
407
00:16:57,910 --> 00:17:00,077
THE CLOTHES
OF AN UNDERTAKER.
408
00:17:00,079 --> 00:17:02,212
TELL HIM TO GET
TO MY MORTUARY
409
00:17:02,214 --> 00:17:03,480
AND I'LL HIDE HIM
IN A COFFIN
410
00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:04,748
UNTIL THE HEAT IS OFF.
411
00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:08,151
YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND,
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.
412
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:11,121
I DO IT BECAUSE
I LOVE YOU.
413
00:17:11,123 --> 00:17:13,523
JUST SAY THE WORD,
MADAME,
414
00:17:13,525 --> 00:17:15,759
AND I'LL
SCREW DOWN THE LID.
415
00:17:19,630 --> 00:17:21,064
GOOD MOANING.
416
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,434
I WILL TAKE IT
TO HIM AT ONCE.
417
00:17:31,309 --> 00:17:34,711
I HEAR THE GERMANS
ARE LICKING FOR RONNIE.
418
00:17:35,713 --> 00:17:38,382
HE IS HIDING
IN THE CELLAR.
419
00:17:38,384 --> 00:17:41,184
I HAVE BROUGHT FOR HIM
A DISGEESE.
420
00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:46,589
IT IS A POLOCEMAN'S
OUTFART.
421
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:53,130
WORING IT, HE CAN WICK
422
00:17:53,132 --> 00:17:56,366
OUT OF THE COFFEE
AND DOWN THE STROOT.
423
00:17:56,368 --> 00:17:58,936
THANK YOU,
OFFICER CRABTREE.
424
00:17:58,938 --> 00:18:01,405
WISH HIM GOOD LICK FROM MOO.
425
00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:04,674
MIMI, LOOK AFTER THE BAR.
426
00:18:04,676 --> 00:18:07,177
I AM TAKING TO RENE
THE UNIFORM OF THE POLICEMAN.
427
00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:14,184
HAVE YOU NOT FINISHED YET,
MONSIEUR LECLERC?
428
00:18:14,186 --> 00:18:16,720
MADAME, IT IS
VERY SKILLFUL WORK.
429
00:18:19,457 --> 00:18:20,724
WHERE IS RENE?
430
00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:22,660
I HAVE FOR HIM
THE UNIFORM OF
A POLICEMAN.
431
00:18:22,662 --> 00:18:25,328
HE IS ALREADY
WEARING HIS DISGUISE.
432
00:18:33,138 --> 00:18:34,772
HOW DO I LOOK?
433
00:18:34,774 --> 00:18:37,440
THE FRENCH GENERAL.
434
00:18:37,442 --> 00:18:39,677
YOU LOOK MAGNIFICENT,
435
00:18:39,679 --> 00:18:41,979
AND WHAT A NOSE!
436
00:18:41,981 --> 00:18:45,282
MY VERY BEST WORK, MADAME.
437
00:18:45,284 --> 00:18:48,285
WITH THIS,
HE CAN NOW ESCAPE.
438
00:18:48,287 --> 00:18:49,953
YES, THERE IS ONE PROBLEM.
439
00:18:49,955 --> 00:18:52,089
MY LEGS HAVE TURNED TO JELLY.
440
00:18:52,091 --> 00:18:53,623
TAKE COURAGE,
MY HUSBAND.
441
00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:55,492
YVETTE WILL SEE YOU
THROUGH THE BAR,
442
00:18:55,494 --> 00:18:56,760
INTO THE BACK ROOM.
443
00:18:56,762 --> 00:18:59,229
GO THROUGH THE WINDOW,
AND HEAD FOR SPAIN.
444
00:18:59,231 --> 00:19:01,965
WHEN I GET THERE,
I WILL WRITE.
445
00:19:04,235 --> 00:19:05,502
GOOD LUCK.
446
00:19:10,175 --> 00:19:12,642
THAT WAS A WONDERFUL NOSE,
MONSIEUR LECLERC.
447
00:19:12,644 --> 00:19:14,411
DID YOU USE CLAY?
448
00:19:14,413 --> 00:19:17,147
NO, MADAME,
CLAY IS TOO CRUMBLY.
449
00:19:17,149 --> 00:19:19,583
I USED ONE OF THESE.
450
00:19:20,585 --> 00:19:21,852
- THERE.
- WHAT IS IT?
451
00:19:23,822 --> 00:19:25,856
IT IS PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE.
452
00:19:27,058 --> 00:19:28,892
LET US HOPE
HE DOES NOT SMOKE.
453
00:19:28,894 --> 00:19:31,328
DO NOT WORRY, MADAME.
454
00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:33,330
IT WILL NOT GO OFF
455
00:19:33,332 --> 00:19:34,998
UNLESS YOU LIGHT
THE WICK.
456
00:19:36,034 --> 00:19:37,768
HAVE YOU PUT A WICK
UP HIS NOSE?
457
00:19:39,537 --> 00:19:42,672
I HAVE BURIED IT
IN HIS NOSTRIL.
458
00:19:45,243 --> 00:19:47,244
COME THIS WAY, GENERAL.
459
00:19:47,246 --> 00:19:49,980
I HAVE A PLACE FOR YOU
IN THE PRIVATE ROOM.
460
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:55,318
COLONEL, THAT IS
THE FRENCH GENERAL,
461
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,587
THE ONE
HERR FLICK SUSPECTS.
462
00:19:57,589 --> 00:19:59,256
IF HERR FLICK IS RIGHT,
463
00:19:59,258 --> 00:20:01,458
IT WOULD TAKE
THE SUSPICION OFF RENE.
464
00:20:01,460 --> 00:20:04,194
HELGA, GO QUICKLY
AND TELL HERR FLICK,
465
00:20:04,196 --> 00:20:06,797
AND WE WILL SEE
HE DOESN'T LEAVE THE CAFE.
466
00:20:06,799 --> 00:20:08,365
YOU CANNOT
GO THAT WAY,
467
00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:10,167
IT IS SWARMING
WITH GERMAN TROOPS.
468
00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:11,501
WHAT DOES THAT MATTER?
469
00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:13,637
A FRENCH GENERAL
CANNOT BE SEEN
470
00:20:13,639 --> 00:20:15,172
CLIMBING OUT
OF A WINDOW.
471
00:20:15,174 --> 00:20:17,540
YOU MUST LEAVE
BY THE FRONT DOOR.
472
00:20:17,542 --> 00:20:19,442
OH MY GOD,
YOU ARE RIGHT, OF COURSE.
473
00:20:19,444 --> 00:20:20,477
WISH ME LUCK.
474
00:20:20,479 --> 00:20:22,512
OH, RENE,
475
00:20:22,514 --> 00:20:24,848
KISS ME GOODBYE
FOR ONE LAST TIME.
476
00:20:24,850 --> 00:20:26,817
OH, YVETTE.
477
00:20:26,819 --> 00:20:28,685
OH.
478
00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:30,187
OH, RENE.
479
00:20:30,189 --> 00:20:32,089
OH, RENE!
480
00:20:36,094 --> 00:20:37,995
NOW GO!
481
00:20:37,997 --> 00:20:40,063
DO NOT LOOK BACK.
482
00:20:40,065 --> 00:20:42,432
I CANNOT BEAR
TO SEE YOU.
483
00:20:50,108 --> 00:20:52,075
HERE HE COMES.
484
00:20:52,077 --> 00:20:53,844
WE MUST NOT
LET HIM LEAVE.
485
00:20:55,446 --> 00:20:56,780
GENERAL!
486
00:20:56,782 --> 00:20:58,548
GENERAL AZNAVOUR.
487
00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,984
WHAT A PLEASURE
TO SEE YOU.
488
00:21:00,986 --> 00:21:02,953
YOU MUST COME AND JOIN US
AT THE TABLE.
489
00:21:02,955 --> 00:21:04,321
TAKE WINE.
490
00:21:04,323 --> 00:21:06,990
IT IS SUCH A PLEASURE
TO HAVE YOU ON OUR SIDE.
491
00:21:06,992 --> 00:21:09,793
( low voice )
NO, I AM SORRY,
I CANNOT, COLONEL.
492
00:21:09,795 --> 00:21:11,361
I HAVE
AN URGENT APPOINTMENT
493
00:21:11,363 --> 00:21:12,896
TO DO SOME
COLLABORATING.
494
00:21:12,898 --> 00:21:14,764
NONSENSE!
495
00:21:14,766 --> 00:21:17,567
GRUBER, A CHAIR
FOR THE GENERAL.
496
00:21:20,338 --> 00:21:21,839
CHAMPAGNE
FOR THE GENERAL!
497
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:29,813
GENERAL AZNAVOUR,
498
00:21:29,815 --> 00:21:31,715
A WORD
IN YOUR EAR.
499
00:21:31,717 --> 00:21:34,651
YOUR NOSE
IS SQUASHED.
500
00:21:34,653 --> 00:21:35,886
OH MY GOD!
501
00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:38,922
Gruber:
IT IS RENE!
502
00:21:38,924 --> 00:21:41,291
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
503
00:21:41,293 --> 00:21:42,960
I AM TRYING TO ESCAPE.
504
00:21:42,962 --> 00:21:44,895
PLEASE, DO NOT GIVE ME AWAY.
505
00:21:44,897 --> 00:21:46,730
OF COURSE I WILL NOT,
506
00:21:46,732 --> 00:21:49,466
BUT YOU MUST
GET OUT OF HERE QUICKLY.
507
00:21:49,468 --> 00:21:51,134
THE PLAN
YOU OUTLINED--
508
00:21:55,573 --> 00:21:57,841
THAT PLAN YOU OUTLINED
AT THE CONFERENCE
509
00:21:57,843 --> 00:21:59,276
WAS VERY INTERESTING.
510
00:21:59,278 --> 00:22:01,144
COLONEL,
511
00:22:01,146 --> 00:22:04,047
IT IS RENE
UNDER AN ASSUMED NOSE.
512
00:22:05,649 --> 00:22:07,484
MY GOD, WHAT A HOOTER!
513
00:22:09,053 --> 00:22:11,054
EXCUSE ME, IT IS TICKLING.
514
00:22:12,523 --> 00:22:13,757
ACHOO!
515
00:22:20,098 --> 00:22:21,265
RENE...
516
00:22:24,835 --> 00:22:26,536
... LISTEN CLOSELY.
517
00:22:26,538 --> 00:22:28,238
WE MUST HIDE YOU.
518
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:31,241
- ( fizzling )
- YOU MUST REMAIN
IN HIS QUARTERS
519
00:22:31,243 --> 00:22:33,543
UNTIL THE REAL FRENCH GENERAL
HAS BEEN FOUND.
520
00:22:33,545 --> 00:22:35,545
FLICK WILL GET
A CONFESSION OUT OF HIM,
521
00:22:35,547 --> 00:22:36,980
WHETHER HE IS
GUILTY OR NOT.
522
00:22:36,982 --> 00:22:38,015
MEANWHILE,
523
00:22:38,017 --> 00:22:40,183
YOU MUST HELP US
TO RECOVER THE PAINTINGS.
524
00:22:44,588 --> 00:22:46,123
RENE,
525
00:22:46,125 --> 00:22:47,524
YOUR NOSE IS SMOLDERING.
526
00:22:51,229 --> 00:22:53,663
QUICK, IT IS
PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE!
527
00:22:53,665 --> 00:22:55,765
OH MY GOD!
528
00:22:55,767 --> 00:22:57,634
AAAHH!
529
00:23:01,372 --> 00:23:03,640
( explosion )
530
00:23:10,481 --> 00:23:12,249
( theme music playing )