1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:02,952 --> 00:00:05,954 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:21,171 --> 00:00:23,305 THE SUN IS SHINING, 3 00:00:23,307 --> 00:00:25,340 THE SCENT OF FRANCE IS IN THE AIR, 4 00:00:25,342 --> 00:00:27,810 YOU WOULD NOT THINK I HAD A CARE IN THE WORLD. 5 00:00:27,812 --> 00:00:30,312 IF I WERE NOT HIDING TWO BRITISH AIRMEN 6 00:00:30,314 --> 00:00:32,848 AND TWO GIRLS OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE, 7 00:00:32,850 --> 00:00:34,649 AND IF I HAD NOT JUST ROBBED A BANK 8 00:00:34,651 --> 00:00:37,119 AND STOLEN 1,000,000 FRANCS OF GESTAPO MONEY 9 00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:38,854 YOU WOULD BE RIGHT. 10 00:00:38,856 --> 00:00:40,989 I AM NOW ABOUT TO FEED THE CARRIER BIRD 11 00:00:40,991 --> 00:00:42,324 THAT WILL TAKE THE MICROFILM 12 00:00:42,326 --> 00:00:44,359 OF THE GERMAN PLAN FOR THE INVASION OF ENGLAND 13 00:00:44,361 --> 00:00:45,994 DIRECT TO LONDON. 14 00:00:45,996 --> 00:00:48,230 NOW YOU MAY THINK THE BIRD I AM REFERRING TO 15 00:00:48,232 --> 00:00:49,832 IS A CARRIER PIGEON. 16 00:00:49,834 --> 00:00:51,333 YOU WOULD BE WRONG. 17 00:00:51,335 --> 00:00:55,003 THE R.A.F. HAVE PROVIDED US WITH A LONG DISTANCE DUCK. 18 00:00:59,943 --> 00:01:01,610 YOU HAVE BEEN VERY QUIET IN THERE. 19 00:01:01,612 --> 00:01:03,178 COME ON, IT IS BREAKFAST TIME. 20 00:01:07,016 --> 00:01:08,016 COME ON. 21 00:01:09,018 --> 00:01:11,019 ( quacking ) 22 00:01:16,525 --> 00:01:18,526 ( ducklings peeping ) 23 00:01:22,498 --> 00:01:25,167 MY GOD, SHE HAS GIVEN BIRTH TO A WHOLE SQUADRON. 24 00:01:28,437 --> 00:01:32,340 OH, LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE BABIES. 25 00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:36,478 OH, WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU THINK OF? 26 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,848 GREEN PEAS AND STUFFING. 27 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:43,718 OH, RENE. WHY DO WE NOT RUN AWAY TO PARIS NOW? 28 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,854 WE HAVE THE MONEY FROM THE BANK THAT WE ROBBED. 29 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,956 NO, NO, YVETTE. THAT MONEY WAS TOO HOT. 30 00:01:47,958 --> 00:01:49,158 WE DO NOT HAVE IT ANYMORE. 31 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:50,592 WHERE IS IT? 32 00:01:50,594 --> 00:01:53,695 I HELPED LIEUTENANT GRUBER TO STUFF IT DOWN HIS TROUSERS. 33 00:01:54,730 --> 00:01:57,766 1,000,000 FRANCS? ARE YOU MAD? 34 00:01:57,768 --> 00:01:59,768 WE COULD HAVE LIVED ON THAT FOREVER. 35 00:01:59,770 --> 00:02:02,171 I DO NOT THINK YOU WANT TO MARRY ME AT ALL! 36 00:02:02,173 --> 00:02:04,406 SHUSH! KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN. 37 00:02:04,408 --> 00:02:08,710 I AM NEVER GOING TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. 38 00:02:11,848 --> 00:02:12,848 RENE! 39 00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:18,187 WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH YOUR ARMS AROUND THAT GIRL? 40 00:02:19,823 --> 00:02:22,490 YOU STUPID WOMAN. 41 00:02:22,492 --> 00:02:25,060 SHE WAS FAINT FROM HUNGER. 42 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:27,996 SHE CRIES TO SEE THE FOOD BEING GIVEN TO THE DUCKS. 43 00:02:29,598 --> 00:02:32,400 OH, YOU POOR CHILD. 44 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,669 YOU MUST BUILD UP YOUR STRENGTH. 45 00:02:34,671 --> 00:02:37,172 HERE, HAVE SOME POTATO PEELINGS. 46 00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,108 THANK YOU. 47 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,813 DO NOT BE UNGRATEFUL, EAT THEM UP. 48 00:02:56,125 --> 00:02:57,592 YES, UNCLE HEINRICH. 49 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:58,861 OF COURSE, UNCLE HEINRICH. 50 00:03:00,363 --> 00:03:01,796 I AM TALKING TO HIMMLER. 51 00:03:01,798 --> 00:03:03,031 HIMMLER? 52 00:03:03,033 --> 00:03:04,199 AAGH! 53 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,534 SHUSH! 54 00:03:06,536 --> 00:03:07,535 DO NOT LISTEN. 55 00:03:08,704 --> 00:03:11,806 YES, UNCLE HEINRICH, BUT WITH RESPECT, 56 00:03:11,808 --> 00:03:14,209 THE GESTAPO MONEY THAT WAS STOLEN FROM THE BANK 57 00:03:14,211 --> 00:03:15,944 WAS NOT GENUINE FRANCS. 58 00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,812 THEY WERE FORGED FRANCS. 59 00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,382 YES, OF COURSE, 60 00:03:20,384 --> 00:03:23,718 IT IS THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING. 61 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,688 DO NOT WORRY, UNCLE, I WILL DETECT THE MISCREANTS 62 00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:28,690 AND BRING THEM TO JUSTICE. 63 00:03:29,859 --> 00:03:32,294 BUT UNCLE, YOU CANNOT EXPECT ME 64 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:34,429 TO SHOOT EVERYONE IN THE TOWN. 65 00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:37,232 I AM UNPOPULAR ENOUGH AS IT IS. 66 00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,569 YES, UNCLE. BY THE WAY, 67 00:03:41,571 --> 00:03:43,471 IS THERE ANY CHANCE OF A POSTAL ORDER 68 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,473 TO TIDE ME OVER? 69 00:03:46,509 --> 00:03:48,176 HE HUNG UP? 70 00:03:48,178 --> 00:03:49,677 VON SMALLHAUSEN? 71 00:03:49,679 --> 00:03:51,079 VON SMALLHAUSEN! 72 00:03:56,752 --> 00:03:58,720 PAY ATTENTION. 73 00:03:58,722 --> 00:04:02,424 WE MUST TRACE THE WHEREABOUTS OF THE STOLEN MONEY. 74 00:04:02,426 --> 00:04:03,892 BUT HOW, HERR FLICK? 75 00:04:03,894 --> 00:04:07,362 WHAT IS THE FIRST THING PEOPLE DO WITH STOLEN MONEY? 76 00:04:07,364 --> 00:04:09,131 THEY HIDE IT IN THE MATTRESS. 77 00:04:09,133 --> 00:04:10,732 NO, THEY DO NOT. 78 00:04:12,701 --> 00:04:14,702 THEY DIVIDE IT UP AMONGST THEMSELVES. 79 00:04:14,704 --> 00:04:16,338 WHAT DO THEY DO THEN? 80 00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,539 THEY SPEND IT. 81 00:04:17,541 --> 00:04:18,706 NO, THEY DO NOT. 82 00:04:20,643 --> 00:04:22,644 THEY HIDE IT IN A MATTRESS. 83 00:04:22,646 --> 00:04:24,346 WHAT HAPPENS THEN? 84 00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:27,349 I DO NOT LIKE TO SAY, HERR FLICK. 85 00:04:28,784 --> 00:04:32,287 ALWAYS SOMEBODY MAKES A MISTAKE. 86 00:04:32,289 --> 00:04:33,989 WHAT IS THIS MISTAKE? 87 00:04:33,991 --> 00:04:37,059 THEY SEND THE MATTRESS TO THE CLEANERS. 88 00:04:38,727 --> 00:04:40,028 NO, THEY DO NOT. 89 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,199 THEY SPEND SOME OF IT. 90 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,767 AND WHAT DO THEY SPEND IT ON? 91 00:04:45,769 --> 00:04:47,035 EXCUSE ME... 92 00:04:58,348 --> 00:05:00,515 LUXURY GOODS? 93 00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:02,184 POSSIBLY. 94 00:05:03,786 --> 00:05:05,120 BUT POSSIBLY NOT. 95 00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:11,326 MORE LIKELY FOOD. 96 00:05:11,328 --> 00:05:14,162 WE WILL DISGUISE OURSELVES AS MARKET TRADERS. 97 00:05:14,164 --> 00:05:16,999 THE FIRST PERSON WHO SPENDS ONE OF THE FORGED NOTES 98 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:19,301 WILL BE ARRESTED AND INTERROGATED 99 00:05:19,303 --> 00:05:20,835 UNTIL HE LEADS US TO THE SOURCE. 100 00:05:23,739 --> 00:05:25,306 900 AND 65, 101 00:05:25,308 --> 00:05:26,742 900 AND 70, 102 00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,744 975,000 FRANCS. 103 00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,980 I THOUGHT THE RANSOM WAS A MILLION? 104 00:05:31,982 --> 00:05:34,249 ARE YOU SURE THERE'S NO MORE DOWN YOUR TROUSERS? 105 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:35,884 SEARCH ME. 106 00:05:37,286 --> 00:05:39,087 I WILL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT. 107 00:05:40,289 --> 00:05:43,725 I SUGGEST WE GIVE IT ANONYMOUSLY TO HERR FLICK 108 00:05:43,727 --> 00:05:45,727 AND PUT AN END TO THE MATTER. 109 00:05:47,029 --> 00:05:49,831 DON'T LET US BE HASTY, GRUBER. 110 00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:53,201 975,000 FRANCS 111 00:05:53,203 --> 00:05:56,471 BUYS A LOT OF STRUDEL. 112 00:05:56,473 --> 00:05:58,974 COLONEL, I HAVE SEEN HERR FLICK. 113 00:05:58,976 --> 00:06:01,076 HE IS MAD AS A SNAKE. 114 00:06:01,078 --> 00:06:03,611 SHOULD HE FIND OUT I KNOW THE WHEREABOUTS OF THE MONEY, 115 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,914 I SHUDDER TO THINK WHAT MAY BE MY FATE. 116 00:06:05,916 --> 00:06:07,749 SO DO NOT TELL HIM. 117 00:06:09,385 --> 00:06:10,518 TWO FOR YOU, 118 00:06:12,021 --> 00:06:13,789 TWO FOR ME. 119 00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,757 ONE FOR YOU. 120 00:06:15,759 --> 00:06:17,659 TWO FOR YOU, 121 00:06:17,661 --> 00:06:20,929 TWO FOR ME. ONE FOR YOU. 122 00:06:20,931 --> 00:06:23,265 COLONEL, WHY AM I TO RECEIVE ONLY ONE? 123 00:06:23,267 --> 00:06:24,666 BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN. 124 00:06:26,903 --> 00:06:28,203 TWO FOR YOU, 125 00:06:28,205 --> 00:06:29,838 TWO FOR ME, 126 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:30,839 ONE FOR YOU. 127 00:06:30,841 --> 00:06:32,774 I AM A WOMAN WITH A BIG MOUTH. 128 00:06:35,278 --> 00:06:38,680 TWO FOR YOU, TWO FOR YOU... 129 00:06:38,682 --> 00:06:40,515 COLONEL, MY FRIEND! 130 00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:46,721 AH! 131 00:06:46,723 --> 00:06:48,523 THE BEAUTIFUL LADY. 132 00:06:48,525 --> 00:06:49,657 I KISS YOUR HAND. 133 00:06:51,794 --> 00:06:54,129 LIEUTENANT GRUBER, 134 00:06:54,131 --> 00:06:55,997 HOW ARE YOU GETTING ON, EH? 135 00:06:58,634 --> 00:07:00,368 WHAT DO I SEE? 136 00:07:00,370 --> 00:07:02,971 - WHAT INDEED. - THE BIG THE LOLLY. 137 00:07:02,973 --> 00:07:04,539 THIS THE MONEY WHAT YOU STEAL 138 00:07:04,541 --> 00:07:06,574 FROM THE BANK FOR THE RANSOM, NO? 139 00:07:06,576 --> 00:07:08,310 - YES! - OW! 140 00:07:08,312 --> 00:07:10,345 SO KEEP OFF IT YOUR WOP HANDS. 141 00:07:11,613 --> 00:07:14,082 COLONEL, I SEE YOU HAVE THE SHARE OUT. 142 00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:16,051 WHY YOU NO INCLUDE YOUR FRIEND ALBERTO? 143 00:07:16,053 --> 00:07:18,053 WHY SHOULD WE INCLUDE YOU? 144 00:07:18,055 --> 00:07:20,588 BECAUSE I CAN DROP YOU IN THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT, 145 00:07:20,590 --> 00:07:23,524 AND YOU NOT COME OUT SMELLING OF THE ROSES. 146 00:07:24,593 --> 00:07:26,361 TWO FOR YOU, 147 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,863 TWO FOR YOU. 148 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,066 COLONEL? 149 00:07:31,068 --> 00:07:32,868 I WAS STANDING OUTSIDE THE DOOR, 150 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:35,203 AND I COULD NOT HELP BUT HEAR YOUR CONVERSATION. 151 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,472 IS THERE A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR ME? 152 00:07:37,474 --> 00:07:40,909 HOW ABOUT A POSTING TO THE RUSSIAN FRONT? 153 00:07:40,911 --> 00:07:44,179 I CANNOT BE SENT TO THE RUSSIAN FRONT... 154 00:07:44,181 --> 00:07:45,780 ON MEDICAL GROUNDS. 155 00:07:45,782 --> 00:07:47,382 WHY, WHAT'S THE MATTER? 156 00:07:48,484 --> 00:07:50,151 IT'S MY MEMORY, COLONEL. 157 00:07:50,153 --> 00:07:51,552 WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT? 158 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:52,587 GET OUT! 159 00:07:54,690 --> 00:07:56,424 TWO FOR YOU, 160 00:07:56,426 --> 00:07:57,592 TWO FOR YOU. 161 00:08:00,329 --> 00:08:02,330 ( knocking on door ) 162 00:08:09,038 --> 00:08:10,738 MICHELLE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 163 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,807 THIS IS MY COVER. 164 00:08:12,809 --> 00:08:15,076 AS A WINDOW CLEANER I CAN MOVE FROM HOUSE TO HOUSE 165 00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:17,245 WITHOUT AROUSING SUSPICION. 166 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,381 HOW ABOUT PUTTING WATER IN YOUR BUCKET? 167 00:08:21,450 --> 00:08:24,185 LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, I WILL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE. 168 00:08:25,754 --> 00:08:27,855 OUR ORGANIZATION IN ABBEVILLE HAS SUCCEEDED 169 00:08:27,857 --> 00:08:29,925 IN PHOTOGRAPHING THE PLANS FOR THE INVASION. 170 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:33,395 I HAVE THE MICROFILM. I WILL GIVE IT TO YOU. 171 00:08:33,397 --> 00:08:36,164 YOU WILL ATTACH IT TO THE LEG OF THE LONG DISTANCE DUCK. 172 00:08:36,166 --> 00:08:38,233 THE DUCK WILL THEN TRANSPORT IT TO LONDON. 173 00:08:39,235 --> 00:08:40,668 IS ANYONE LOOKING? 174 00:08:40,670 --> 00:08:42,837 THE WHOLE VILLAGE WILL BE, IF YOU DON'T HURRY UP. 175 00:08:47,743 --> 00:08:50,578 FOR THIS YOU WILL NEED A LONG DISTANCE ALBATROSS. 176 00:08:52,815 --> 00:08:56,284 THE MICROFILM IS HIDDEN BENEATH THE STAMP. 177 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:59,587 STEAM IT OFF AND ATTACH IT TO THE LEG OF THE DUCK WITH A CORN PLASTER. 178 00:08:59,589 --> 00:09:03,091 THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH THAT DUCK. 179 00:09:05,094 --> 00:09:07,162 SHE HAS JUST GIVEN BIRTH TO FIVE LITTLE DUCKS. 180 00:09:08,164 --> 00:09:09,297 SO? 181 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,399 IF YOU TAKE HER AWAY FROM THEM NOW THEY WILL DIE. 182 00:09:11,401 --> 00:09:13,768 PUT THEM UNDER A WARM TEA COZY 183 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:16,338 AND FEED THEM EVERY FOUR HOURS WITH A FOUNTAIN PEN FILLER. 184 00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:20,541 I AM NOT GOING TO WET-NURSE A DUCK. I HAVE A BUSINESS TO RUN. 185 00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:22,243 THEN FIND A BROODY HEN. 186 00:09:22,245 --> 00:09:24,846 WHO WILL TEACH THEM TO SWIM? 187 00:09:24,848 --> 00:09:26,281 AND THINK OF THE MOTHER-- 188 00:09:26,283 --> 00:09:27,748 IF SHE IS TAKEN AWAY FROM THEM NOW, 189 00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,750 SHE WON'T REACH CALAIS BEFORE SHE GETS 190 00:09:29,752 --> 00:09:32,387 POST-NATAL DEPRESSION. 191 00:09:32,389 --> 00:09:35,423 I AM WORKING FOR THE RESISTANCE TRYING TO WIN THE WAR 192 00:09:35,425 --> 00:09:38,059 AND YOU ARE WORKING FOR DUCK WELFARE. 193 00:09:38,061 --> 00:09:39,660 THAT DUCK LEAVES TODAY. 194 00:09:42,098 --> 00:09:44,099 HANG ON, YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED MY WINDOWS. 195 00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:46,634 SCREW YOUR WINDOWS. 196 00:09:57,413 --> 00:09:59,981 WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A FRUIT BASKET ON YOUR HEAD? 197 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:04,819 I AM GOING SHOPPING FOR FOOD. 198 00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:06,388 AND TALKING OF FOOD, 199 00:10:06,390 --> 00:10:07,789 HOW MUCH LONGER DO WE HAVE TO HIDE 200 00:10:07,791 --> 00:10:10,258 THESE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE GIRLS? 201 00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:12,627 I EXPECT THE SEARCH WILL BE OVER IN A FEW DAYS 202 00:10:12,629 --> 00:10:14,162 AND THEN THEY WILL BE ABLE TO LEAVE. 203 00:10:14,164 --> 00:10:17,165 THEY ARE EATING ME OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME. 204 00:10:18,401 --> 00:10:19,901 THEY ARE LIKE ANIMALS. 205 00:10:19,903 --> 00:10:21,670 I KNOW. 206 00:10:24,873 --> 00:10:26,708 RENE? 207 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:29,477 THE ONE CALLED DENISE LAROQUE, 208 00:10:29,479 --> 00:10:31,513 IS SHE THE SAME DENISE LAROQUE 209 00:10:31,515 --> 00:10:33,448 WHO WAS YOUR CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART, 210 00:10:33,450 --> 00:10:35,983 WHO HELD YOU CAPTIVE AGAINST YOUR WILL, 211 00:10:35,985 --> 00:10:38,453 WHO HAS THE HOTS FOR YOU AND WANTED TO MARRY YOU 212 00:10:38,455 --> 00:10:41,756 AND THREATENED TO KILL ME IF I GOT IN THE WAY? 213 00:10:41,758 --> 00:10:44,392 NO. THIS IS A DIFFERENT DENISE LAROQUE ALTOGETHER. 214 00:10:45,628 --> 00:10:48,563 RENE, LET ME LOOK INTO YOUR EYES. 215 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,498 I CAN ALWAYS TELL IF YOU ARE LYING. 216 00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:55,570 I SEE IT IS THE TRUTH. 217 00:10:58,774 --> 00:11:01,376 OH, RENE, I AM SO HAPPY. 218 00:11:02,911 --> 00:11:05,046 I MADE THESE SANDWICHES FOR MAMMA. 219 00:11:05,048 --> 00:11:07,081 YOU TAKE THEM TO HER, MY ANGEL. 220 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,717 OF COURSE, MY SWEETHEART. 221 00:11:11,554 --> 00:11:12,887 RENE? 222 00:11:23,232 --> 00:11:24,466 ( Rene screams ) 223 00:11:25,568 --> 00:11:27,435 - RENE! - DENISE! 224 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:30,605 I KNEW YOU WOULD COME TO ME, PASSION OF MY LIFE. 225 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,541 JUST THE SIGHT OF YOUR BRAVE FACE HAS MADE ME GIDDY. 226 00:11:33,543 --> 00:11:35,777 IT IS PROBABLY THE SMELL OF MOTHBALLS 227 00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:37,545 THAT I HAVE JUST CRUSHED UNDER MY FEET. 228 00:11:37,547 --> 00:11:39,914 YOU HAVE BROUGHT ME SANDWICHES. 229 00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:42,083 LET ME EAT BEFORE WE MAKE LOVE. 230 00:11:42,085 --> 00:11:43,618 ATTRACTIVE THOUGH THIS MAY BE, 231 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,587 I CANNOT STAY AT THE MOMENT. 232 00:11:45,589 --> 00:11:47,589 I AM OVERRUN WITH GERMANS. 233 00:11:47,591 --> 00:11:49,791 HAVE YOU MADE ANY PLANS TO ESCAPE? 234 00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:52,327 I WILL STAY HERE TILL EVERYTHING DIES DOWN. 235 00:11:52,329 --> 00:11:55,363 OH, AS LONG AS THAT. 236 00:11:55,365 --> 00:11:57,499 THEN WE WILL KILL THE WOMAN YOU ARE LIVING WITH, 237 00:11:57,501 --> 00:11:59,634 BURY HER IN THE GARDEN AND HIDE TOGETHER 238 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,369 IN THE SEWERS OF PARIS, POPPING UP 239 00:12:01,371 --> 00:12:03,371 FROM TIME TO TIME TO KILL THE HATED ENEMY. 240 00:12:03,373 --> 00:12:04,906 I CAN HARDLY WAIT. 241 00:12:06,409 --> 00:12:08,443 KISS ME AS IF THERE WERE NO TOMORROW. 242 00:12:08,445 --> 00:12:11,546 BUT IT IS ONLY 11:00 ON THE MORNING OF TODAY. 243 00:12:26,261 --> 00:12:29,631 THIS LOOKS LIKE A GOOD PITCH. WE WILL SELL OUR FISH. 244 00:12:33,302 --> 00:12:35,637 I HAVE THE WINKLES, 245 00:12:35,639 --> 00:12:38,873 I HAVE THE WINKLES, ALIVE ALIVE-O! 246 00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:40,908 I HAVE THE CRABS, 247 00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:44,278 I HAVE THE CRABS, ALIVE ALIVE-O! 248 00:12:49,284 --> 00:12:51,653 VON SMALLHAUSEN, YOU WILL DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY. 249 00:12:52,655 --> 00:12:54,589 YOU ARE NOT A GOOD FISH SELLER. 250 00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:57,359 I'M SORRY, HERR FLICK. 251 00:12:57,361 --> 00:12:58,693 PLEASE, TELL ME WHAT TO DO. 252 00:13:00,262 --> 00:13:01,529 CONGER, CONGER. 253 00:13:02,998 --> 00:13:05,099 ♪ LA LA LA LA LA-LA LA LA LA LA LA-LA. ♪ 254 00:13:17,145 --> 00:13:19,581 POOH, YOUR FOSH IS VERY PINGY. 255 00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:21,583 GO AWAY. 256 00:13:21,585 --> 00:13:24,018 YOU CANNOT SPOKE LIKE THOS 257 00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,754 TO AN IFFICER OF THE LOO. 258 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,691 WHERE IS YOUR STRAIT TREEDERS LOOSENCE? 259 00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:35,062 OH, GESTOOPO. 260 00:13:36,665 --> 00:13:38,833 I WILL HAVE A POUND OF WONKLES. 261 00:13:41,504 --> 00:13:42,704 WHAT ARE WONKLES? 262 00:13:44,172 --> 00:13:45,673 THESE ARE WONKLES. 263 00:13:47,342 --> 00:13:48,342 WINKLES. 264 00:13:55,083 --> 00:13:57,552 WHAT PART OF FRANCE DO YOU COME FROM? 265 00:13:57,554 --> 00:13:59,621 I AM HALF ITOOLIAN. 266 00:14:02,558 --> 00:14:05,693 - ITOOLIAN? - YES, ITOOLIAN. 267 00:14:05,695 --> 00:14:08,763 I THINK HE MEANS ITALIAN. 268 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:11,933 I WAS BROUGHT UP IN NIPPLES. 269 00:14:14,236 --> 00:14:15,737 NIPPLES? 270 00:14:15,739 --> 00:14:18,540 YES, YOU KNOW THE OLD SOOING? 271 00:14:18,542 --> 00:14:20,742 SEE NIPPLES AND DO. 272 00:14:33,088 --> 00:14:35,590 RETURN TO ME AS SOON AS YOU ARE ABLE. 273 00:14:36,592 --> 00:14:38,292 OF COURSE. 274 00:14:41,363 --> 00:14:43,364 AND NEXT TIME BRING THE MUSTARD. 275 00:14:51,574 --> 00:14:53,507 ( Rene screams ) 276 00:14:55,544 --> 00:14:56,978 RENE! 277 00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,613 LOUISE! 278 00:14:58,615 --> 00:15:01,482 I HAVE BEEN IN THIS WARDROBE ALL NIGHT THINKING OF YOU. 279 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,918 I THOUGHT I WOULD EXPLODE WITH PASSION. 280 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:07,622 LUCKY YOU KEPT THE DOOR CLOSED. 281 00:15:09,091 --> 00:15:11,425 I SEE YOU HAVE BROUGHT ME FOOD 282 00:15:11,427 --> 00:15:13,360 SO I MAY BUILD UP MY STRENGTH, 283 00:15:13,362 --> 00:15:15,196 SO THAT WE CAN RUN AWAY TOGETHER. 284 00:15:16,364 --> 00:15:19,634 I DO NOT THINK TWO SARDINES AND A BIT OF CRESS 285 00:15:19,636 --> 00:15:21,769 WILL HELP YOU RUN AWAY VERY FAR. 286 00:15:21,771 --> 00:15:23,771 LET US KILL DENISE 287 00:15:23,773 --> 00:15:26,207 AND HIDE HER BODY IN A DISUSED REFRIGERATOR 288 00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:28,309 AND FLY AWAY TO THE ALPS 289 00:15:28,311 --> 00:15:30,511 WHERE WE CAN DROP ROCKS ON THE GERMANS. 290 00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:32,647 OH, WHAT A ROMANTIC NOTION. 291 00:15:32,649 --> 00:15:36,150 UNFORTUNATELY WE USE OUR DISUSED REFRIGERATOR, 292 00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:38,753 BUT THE MOMENT IT BREAKS DOWN, I WILL LET YOU KNOW. 293 00:15:43,792 --> 00:15:47,361 ONLY ONE SANDWICH LEFT FOR MY WIFE'S MOTHER. 294 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,230 STILL, AT HER AGE SHE DOES NOT NEED MUCH. 295 00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:58,006 WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO TO THEM ALL? 296 00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,743 WHAT IS IT ABOUT THIS FACE 297 00:16:01,745 --> 00:16:05,212 THAT DRIVES THEM TO SUCH BLINDING PASSION? 298 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,948 STILL... 299 00:16:06,950 --> 00:16:09,216 NOT BAD FOR 32. 300 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,221 RENE! 301 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,823 NOT NOW. 302 00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:23,031 GOOD MORNING, MONSIEUR ALPHONSE. 303 00:16:23,033 --> 00:16:25,933 A GOOD MORNING, MY ADORABLE MADAME EDITH. 304 00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:29,103 MAGNIFICENT. 305 00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:35,043 HOW HANDSOME YOU LOOK THIS MORNING. 306 00:16:37,412 --> 00:16:41,315 THE AROMA SURROUNDING YOU IS MOST TANTALIZING. 307 00:16:41,317 --> 00:16:43,617 BETTER THAN THE REST OF THE MARKET PLACE. 308 00:16:43,619 --> 00:16:45,252 ( chuckles ) 309 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,088 I HAVE BEEN TO THE HAIRDRESSER 310 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:49,657 TO HAVE MY MOUSTACHE RESTYLED. 311 00:16:49,659 --> 00:16:52,760 THE POMADE THAT THEY USE IS THEIR OWN PREPARATION. 312 00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,962 IT IS MADE FROM BADGER GREASE 313 00:16:54,964 --> 00:16:57,065 AND ROSE PETAL WATER. 314 00:16:57,067 --> 00:17:00,634 HOW IT GLISTENS IN THE MORNING LIGHT. 315 00:17:00,636 --> 00:17:03,071 NATURAL PRODUCTS ARE ALWAYS THE BEST, ARE THEY NOT? 316 00:17:03,073 --> 00:17:04,538 UNDOUBTEDLY. 317 00:17:05,540 --> 00:17:07,675 I ALSO HAD MY HAIR SHAMPOOED 318 00:17:07,677 --> 00:17:10,611 WITH EXTRACT OF HEDGEHOG. 319 00:17:15,584 --> 00:17:17,585 IT HAS GIVEN IT A LOT OF BODY. 320 00:17:18,653 --> 00:17:20,788 IT HAS ITS DRAWBACKS. 321 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,357 IF EVER IT HEARS A MOTOR HOOTER, 322 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:26,127 IT CLENCHES ITSELF INTO A BALL. 323 00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:30,231 GOOD MORNING. 324 00:17:33,202 --> 00:17:36,137 WONKLES, WONKLES, 325 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:38,272 WHO WILL BUY MY WONKLES? 326 00:17:43,011 --> 00:17:44,979 GOOD MORNING, FISHMONGER. 327 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,148 I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU HERE BEFORE. 328 00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,716 WE ARE NEW AROUND HERE. 329 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,519 WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR YOUR FISH. 330 00:17:52,521 --> 00:17:55,123 THREE COD'S HEADS FOR THE CAT. 331 00:17:56,391 --> 00:17:58,626 LOOK. THIS IS A FORGED BANK NOTE. 332 00:18:00,095 --> 00:18:02,897 WE ARE THE GESTAPO. YOU ARE UNDER ARREST. 333 00:18:02,899 --> 00:18:04,632 YOU WILL COME WITH US FOR INTERROGATION. 334 00:18:04,634 --> 00:18:07,668 GENTLEMEN, I AM AN INNOCENT MAN. 335 00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,036 I AM MONSIEUR ALPHONSE, 336 00:18:09,038 --> 00:18:11,105 THE RESPECTED UNDERTAKER. 337 00:18:11,107 --> 00:18:13,174 I AM ENTIRELY INNOCENT. 338 00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:15,509 THEN WHY IS YOUR HAIR STANDING ON END IN FRIGHT? 339 00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:16,944 HMM? 340 00:18:16,946 --> 00:18:18,512 YOU WILL COME WITH US. 341 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,314 NO, NO, GENTLEMEN. 342 00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:22,616 NO, GENTLEMEN, PLEASE. 343 00:18:22,618 --> 00:18:24,919 THIS IS A FOOLISH MISTAKE. 344 00:18:24,921 --> 00:18:26,687 MADAME EDITH, HELP ME, PLEASE! 345 00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:28,355 MADAME EDITH! 346 00:18:29,391 --> 00:18:30,891 ( knock on door ) 347 00:18:30,893 --> 00:18:32,226 WHO IS IT? 348 00:18:32,228 --> 00:18:34,462 IT IS RENE. ARE YOU DECENT? 349 00:18:35,497 --> 00:18:37,365 I HAVE BEEN DECENT 350 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:40,534 SINCE AUGUST 1922. 351 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,103 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 352 00:18:42,105 --> 00:18:43,971 I HAVE BROUGHT YOU YOUR LUNCH. 353 00:18:43,973 --> 00:18:45,406 ( joyful ) OH. 354 00:18:46,408 --> 00:18:48,175 OH. 355 00:18:48,177 --> 00:18:51,712 HALF A CRUMMY SARDINE SANDWICH? 356 00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:54,382 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE? 357 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:57,118 STOP WHINGING, YOU OLD BAT. 358 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:58,619 THERE'S A WAR ON. 359 00:18:58,621 --> 00:19:00,287 OOH. 360 00:19:00,289 --> 00:19:03,324 IF ONE OF MY LATE HUSBANDS WERE ALIVE 361 00:19:03,326 --> 00:19:05,259 TO HEAR YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, 362 00:19:05,261 --> 00:19:06,960 HE WOULD HORSEWHIP YOU. 363 00:19:06,962 --> 00:19:08,595 THEY ARE NOT ALIVE, ARE THEY? 364 00:19:08,597 --> 00:19:10,831 NO, NO. 365 00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:13,467 THAT IS WHY I SHALL HAVE TO DO IT MYSELF! 366 00:19:16,838 --> 00:19:18,572 WHAT IS HAPPENING? 367 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,374 THIS HOOLIGAN HAS GONE MAD. 368 00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:23,344 STOP IT, MAMMA! STOP IT! 369 00:19:23,346 --> 00:19:25,712 HE IS NO GOOD. AHH. 370 00:19:25,714 --> 00:19:29,383 YOU MUST MARRY MONSIEUR ALPHONSE, 371 00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:31,718 AND GIVE HIM THE BUM'S RUSH. 372 00:19:32,854 --> 00:19:34,355 SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED 373 00:19:34,357 --> 00:19:35,722 TO MONSIEUR ALPHONSE. 374 00:19:35,724 --> 00:19:38,025 HE HAS BEEN ARRESTED BY THE GESTAPO. 375 00:19:38,027 --> 00:19:40,261 - WHAT? - GESTAPO! 376 00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:42,263 ( spitting ) 377 00:19:45,700 --> 00:19:47,535 WHY HAS HE BEEN ARRESTED? 378 00:19:47,537 --> 00:19:49,836 HE PASSED ONE OF THE BANK NOTES 379 00:19:49,838 --> 00:19:52,839 WE STOLE FROM THE BANK. IT WAS A FORGERY. 380 00:19:52,841 --> 00:19:54,808 WHAT? WHERE DID HE GET IT? 381 00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:56,577 HE HAD BEEN TO THE HAIRDRESSER. 382 00:19:56,579 --> 00:19:58,812 MICHELLE USED SOME OF THE STOLEN MONEY THERE. 383 00:19:58,814 --> 00:20:01,248 MY GOD, IT WILL ALL BE TRACED TO US. 384 00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:03,984 NO. MONSIEUR ALPHONSE LOVES ME. 385 00:20:03,986 --> 00:20:06,587 HE WILL DIE BEFORE HE GIVES ME AWAY. 386 00:20:06,589 --> 00:20:09,990 EDITH? IF HE DIES BEFORE HE MARRIES YOU, 387 00:20:09,992 --> 00:20:11,692 WHO WILL GET HIS MONEY? 388 00:20:13,261 --> 00:20:15,463 THE HOME FOR DISTRESSED UNDERTAKERS. 389 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:18,399 WELL, YOU MUST RESCUE HIM. 390 00:20:18,401 --> 00:20:20,334 MAKE HIM SIGN THE WILL 391 00:20:20,336 --> 00:20:22,035 AND THEN HAND HIM BACK. 392 00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:26,574 MICHELLE! 393 00:20:26,576 --> 00:20:28,809 MONSIEUR ALPHONSE HAS BEEN ARRESTED BY THE GESTAPO. 394 00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:31,078 I KNOW. WE MUST GET ON THE RADIO. 395 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,413 I HAVE A PLAN. 396 00:20:33,515 --> 00:20:34,982 OOH! 397 00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,717 THIS IS YOUR FAULT, MICHELLE. 398 00:20:36,719 --> 00:20:39,386 YOU USED SOME OF THAT MONEY TO HAVE YOUR HAIR DONE. 399 00:20:39,388 --> 00:20:41,855 FOR WEEKS I HAVE NOT HAD MY HAIR DONE. 400 00:20:41,857 --> 00:20:43,390 AS HEAD OF THE RESISTANCE, 401 00:20:43,392 --> 00:20:44,658 I HAVE A POSITION TO MAINTAIN. 402 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,660 'ALLO, LONDON. 403 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:49,230 STANDBY FOR A MESSAGE. 404 00:20:49,232 --> 00:20:52,032 'ALLO, KINGFISHER. 'ALLO, KINGFISHER. 405 00:20:52,034 --> 00:20:55,969 THIS IS BLUE TIT, THIS IS BLUE TIT. 406 00:20:55,971 --> 00:20:58,705 Pass your message, Blue Tit. 407 00:20:58,707 --> 00:21:02,109 PLEASE SEND TWO PAIRS OF 15 DENIER STOCKINGS 408 00:21:02,111 --> 00:21:05,379 AND A PACKET OF SUICIDE PILLS, THE QUICK ONES. 409 00:21:06,615 --> 00:21:10,618 Message received. Is the duck ready? 410 00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:11,952 Is the duck ready? 411 00:21:11,954 --> 00:21:13,521 I WILL LOOK UP THE CODE. 412 00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:16,056 IT IS NOT CODE. LOOK OUT THE WINDOW. 413 00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:20,694 YES, THE DUCK IS READY. 414 00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:23,997 We need the invasion plans at once. 415 00:21:23,999 --> 00:21:25,799 The wind is favorable. 416 00:21:25,801 --> 00:21:28,502 Release the duck immediately. 417 00:21:28,504 --> 00:21:30,037 MESSAGE RECEIVED. 418 00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:32,139 WE WILL PREPARE THE DUCK FOR LAUNCH. 419 00:21:32,141 --> 00:21:33,574 OH! 420 00:21:33,576 --> 00:21:35,909 A DUCK FOR LUNCH. 421 00:21:39,914 --> 00:21:43,517 DID YOU ATTACH THE MICROFILM TO THE LEG OF THE DUCK WITH THE CORN PLASTER? 422 00:21:43,519 --> 00:21:44,518 - IT IS DONE. - GOOD. 423 00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:50,257 DO YOU HAVE THE LONG DISTANCE DICK? 424 00:21:50,259 --> 00:21:52,293 IN THE BOX AND READY FOR TAKE OFF. 425 00:21:52,295 --> 00:21:55,095 I WILL MAUVE THESE PEASANTS OUT OF THE WEE 426 00:21:55,097 --> 00:21:57,097 AND MAKE A CLEAR PITH. 427 00:22:01,102 --> 00:22:03,103 AH, THERE YOU ARE CHAPS. 428 00:22:03,105 --> 00:22:05,506 I SAY, MICHELLE, WHAT'S GOING ON? 429 00:22:05,508 --> 00:22:09,142 WE'RE FLYING THE INVASION PLANS TO ENGLAND BY FAST DUCK. 430 00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:19,453 JUST THINK, RENE, IN A MOMENT 431 00:22:19,455 --> 00:22:21,322 IT WILL BE SOARING ABOVE THE CLOUDS 432 00:22:21,324 --> 00:22:24,225 TAKING WITH IT THE PLANS OF THE INVASION. 433 00:22:24,227 --> 00:22:26,260 WE HOPE. 434 00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:29,463 RENE, LET ME RELEASE IT. 435 00:22:29,465 --> 00:22:32,065 VERY WELL, IF YOU WISH, EDITH. 436 00:22:32,067 --> 00:22:34,067 THIS WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY 437 00:22:34,069 --> 00:22:36,837 AS THE TURNING POINT IN THE STRUGGLE 438 00:22:36,839 --> 00:22:38,505 OF THE OPPRESSED PEOPLE OF THE WORLD 439 00:22:38,507 --> 00:22:41,842 AGAINST THE JACKBOOTS OF FASCIST IMPERIALISTS. 440 00:23:01,363 --> 00:23:03,364 ( loud quacking ) 441 00:23:19,914 --> 00:23:22,916 ( theme music playing )