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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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( theme music playing )
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IT IS POSSIBLE
THAT YOU ARE WONDERING
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WHAT I AM DOING
CREEPING INTO MY OWN CAFE
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AT A QUARTER PAST 1:00
IN THE MORNING,
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DRESSED IN
A HOSPITAL OPERATING GOWN,
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WHICH, INCIDENTALLY,
OPENS UP THE BACK,
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SO YOU WILL FORGIVE ME
IF I DO NOT TURN ROUND.
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THE REASON FOR ALL
THIS IS VERY SIMPLE,
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IF A BIT UNLIKELY.
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I HAVE JUST TRUDGED
FIVE MILES
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FROM THE NOUVION
GENERAL HOSPITAL,
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WHERE I WAS
IN THE MATERNITY WARD.
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I WAS ENDEAVORING
TO RESCUE MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,
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WHO WAS RECOVERING
FROM A HEART ATTACK,
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WHICH HE SUFFERED
WHILST BEING INTERROGATED
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BY THE GESTAPO,
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ABOUT SOME 975,000
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MISSING FRANCS,
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WHICH I HAD JUST STUFFED DOWN
LIEUTENANT GRUBER'S TROUSERS.
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AM I REALLY
SAYING ALL THIS?
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MAYBE IT IS ALL
A TERRIBLE DREAM?
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NO, IT IS TRUE.
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THE DRAFT BLOWING UP
MY BACKLESS HOSPITAL GOWN
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TELLS ME IT IS TRUE.
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RENE,
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ARE YOU OPEN?
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PARTLY.
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SHUT THE DOOR, LIEUTENANT,
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THERE IS A TERRIBLE DRAFT.
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SO I SEE.
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RENE,
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YOU ARE WEARING THE MOST
UNUSUAL NIGHT ATTIRE.
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IT IS FOR THE AIR RAIDS,
LIEUTENANT.
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ONE HAS TO BE READY
TO LEAP IN AND OUT
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OF ONE'S CLOTHES
AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE.
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OF COURSE.
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FORGIVE ME
FOR CALLING SO LATE,
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BUT I SAW A LIGHT
AND I HAVE GOOD NEWS.
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OH?
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THE UNDERTAKER IS
NO LONGER IN A POSITION
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TO SPILL THE BEANS
TO THE GESTAPO
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REGARDING
THE STOLEN MONEY,
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WHICH, YOU MAY RECALL,
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YOU HID DOWN MY TROUSERS.
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OH, YES,
I REMEMBER IT WELL.
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YES, I AM AFRAID
HE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED.
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THE COLONEL PLACED UNDER HIM
AN EXPLODING BEDPAN.
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WHAT A TERRIBLE WAY TO GO.
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IN ANY EVENT,
WE ARE ALL IN THE CLEAR NOW.
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WELL, THAT IS GOOD NEWS.
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DO YOU FANCY A LITTLE
SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE?
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NOT IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES, NO.
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OH COMES ALONG NOW,
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IT WILL BE MY TREAT.
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NO, LIEUTENANT, NO.
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I HAVE TO PUT
THE CAT OUT.
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OH, I-- I COULD
PUT IT OUT WITH YOU.
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NO, YOUR MEDALS
MIGHT FRIGHTEN IT.
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VERY WELL.
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I-- I TOO HAVE
A LITTLE CAT, YOU KNOW.
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OH, REALLY?
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WHAT IS IT?
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A GINGER TOM.
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WHAT ELSE.
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GOOD NIGHT, RENE.
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GOOD NIGHT,
LIEUTENANT GRUBER.
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- RENE.
- AH, YVETTE.
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( growling )
OH, MY BIG PUMPKIN,
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I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
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WELL YOU COULD HAVE
WORRIED A BIT SOONER.
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YOU LEFT ME STANDING
OUTSIDE THE HOSPITAL.
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WHEN WE PUT
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE
IN THE AMBULANCE.
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WE THOUGHT YOU WERE
IN THERE WITH HIM.
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WELL, I WAS NOT.
I HAD TO WALK HOME.
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DID NOBODY OFFER
TO PICK YOU UP?
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YES, THREE TIMES.
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I HAD TO HIDE IN THE WOODS.
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BUT YOU ARE HERE NOW.
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PUT BOTH YOUR STRONG
ARMS AROUND ME
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AND TAKE MY BREATH AWAY.
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IF I PUT BOTH
MY STRONG ARMS AROUND YOU,
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I WILL TAKE EVERYBODY'S
BREATH AWAY.
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RENE!
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH THAT GIRL?
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YOU STUPID WOMAN!
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CAN YOU NOT SEE
THAT SHE HAS BEEN OVERCOME
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BY THE ANESTHETIC
ON MY OPERATING GOWN?
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OH, RENE,
I'M SO SORRY.
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OH, POOR CHI--
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RENE, YOU
TAKE HER UPSTAIRS,
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I WILL FOLLOW
WITH THE CANDLE.
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NO, YOU TAKE
HER UPSTAIRS,
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I WILL FOLLOW
WITH THE CANDLE.
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I SEE.
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I SEE.
VERY WELL.
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THE UNDERTAKER IS DEAD.
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DID HE PASS AWAY
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UNDER SUSPICIOUS
CIRCUMSTANCES?
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I WOULD HARDLY CALL
AN EXPLODING BEDPAN
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AN EVERYDAY OCCURRENCE.
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IT IS BAD NEWS.
WE HAVE LOST OUR ONLY LEAD
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TO THE WHEREABOUTS
OF THE FORGED GESTAPO MONEY.
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FORGED MONEY?
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DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
THAT THE MILLION FRANCS
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STOLEN FROM YOU
WERE ALL FORGERIES?
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CORRECT.
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OH MY GOD.
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HELGA,
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I SEE A SMALL PULSE
TICKING IN YOUR NECK.
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WHY ARE YOU SO
UPSET ABOUT THIS?
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WHY AM I UPSET?
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I AM UPSET BECAUSE
YOU ARE UPSET.
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I SEE.
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I AM UPSET BECAUSE
THE GESTAPO IN BERLIN
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ARE DOING THEIR NUTS.
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND,
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IT COSTS A LOT OF MONEY
TO FORGE MONEY.
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WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO, HERR FLICK?
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I SUSPECT
THAT ALL THE MONEY
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WILL BE HIDDEN
IN THE UNDERTAKER'S MORTUARY.
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VON SMALLHAUSEN,
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YOU WILL AT ONCE
GAIN ENTRY
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AND CONDUCT A SEARCH.
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HOW WILL I DO THIS
WITHOUT AROUSING SUSPICION?
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YOU WILL GO AS A CORPSE.
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BUT HERR FLICK,
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I HAVE MANY TWITCHES
THAT WILL GIVE ME AWAY.
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I HAVE THE SOLUTION.
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IT IS A SPECIAL
GESTAPO SOLUTION.
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I WILL NOW
INJECT YOU WITH IT.
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FOR 24 HOURS
YOU WILL APPEAR
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DEAD AS A DODO.
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WHEN YOU AWAKE,
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YOU WILL
JUMP OFF THE SLAB,
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AND CONDUCT
A TOMB TO TOMB SEARCH.
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ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVE.
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ONE THING IS CERTAIN.
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IF THIS MONEY IS FORGED,
IT'S NO GOOD TO US.
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IT COULD, IN FACT,
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GET US INTO TERRIBLE
TROUBLE WITH THE GESTAPO.
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WE MUST PUT IT BACK
WHERE IT CAME FROM.
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WELL, IF YOU REMEMBER,
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IT CAME FROM RENE
AT THE CAFE.
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IT WAS TRANSPORTED HERE
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STUFFED DOWN LIEUTENANT
GRUBER'S TROUSERS.
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IN THAT CASE, IT MUST
GO BACK THE SAME WAY.
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HERE IS MY SHARE.
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SOMEONE ELSE CAN STUFF IT
DOWN HIS TROUSERS.
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AND HERE IS MY SHARE.
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HERE IS MY SHARE.
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COLONEL,
IF I MAY SAY SO,
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I AM NOT THE MOST
JUNIOR PERSON HERE.
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COULD NOT HELGA
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TAKE IT BACK
IN HER KNICKERS?
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CERTAINLY NOT.
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OUR WARTIME KNICKER
ELASTIC IS VERY WEAK.
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WE CANNOT HAVE HELGA
WALKING THROUGH THE TOWN
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DROPPING NOTES
OF HIGH DENOMINATIONS
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FROM HER UNDERWEAR.
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PEOPLE WOULD WONDER
WHAT SORT OF ARMY WE'RE RUNNING.
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IT'S CLEARLY
A MAN'S JOB.
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YOU ARE RIGHT, HELGA.
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IF I MAY SAY SO, COLONEL,
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NOBODY WOULD SUSPECT
THAT A MAN
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WITH FEATHERS IN HIS HAT
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WOULD HAVE ANYTHING
OF GREAT VALUE
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DOWN HIS TROUSERS.
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HOW YOU LIKE A SMACK
IN THE FACE, EH?
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THE LIEUTENANT MEANS
YOU'RE BEYOND SUSPICION,
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BEING AN ITALIAN WAR HERO,
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AND WITH ALL THOSE
WAR MEDALS.
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YOU ARE RIGHT.
I A BIG WAR HERO.
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I HAVE THE BIG MEDALS.
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I HAVE THE BIG NERVE.
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AND YOU HAVE
THE BIG TROUSERS.
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NO, COLONEL!
PLEASE NO!
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NOT MY TROUSERS, NO.
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LIEUTENANT GRUBER!
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OH!
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TELL RENE
IT'S HOT MONEY.
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IT ALSO
VERY TICKLY MONEY.
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HELGA.
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TELL HIM
HE MUST TAKE IT,
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00:08:17,676 --> 00:08:19,141
AND GET IT BACK
TO THE GESTAPO,
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00:08:19,143 --> 00:08:20,743
OR ELSE
HE WILL BE SHOT.
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( rustling )
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COLONEL, TO WALK DOWN
THE STREET LIKE THIS,
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NEED EVEN BIGGER
HERO THAN ME.
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YOU'RE RIGHT.
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YOU MUST WAIT
TILL IT'S DARK.
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VERY DARK.
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HELGA, YOU MUST
KEEP HIM UNDER
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CLOSE OBSERVATION.
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AS SOON AS HE DEPARTS
FOR THE CAFE,
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00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:50,172
INFORM ME.
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00:08:50,174 --> 00:08:53,108
I WILL SNITCH ON HIM
TO THE GESTAPO
197
00:08:53,110 --> 00:08:55,911
AND THEY WILL ARREST HIM.
198
00:08:55,913 --> 00:08:57,146
AND IN ONE STROKE,
199
00:08:57,148 --> 00:08:58,514
WE WILL HAVE GOT
RID OF THE MONEY,
200
00:08:58,516 --> 00:09:01,451
AND GOT RID OF THIS
IRRITATING WOP.
201
00:09:03,019 --> 00:09:04,253
( knocking )
202
00:09:10,995 --> 00:09:12,829
I AM SORRY, WE ARE
NOT YET OPEN.
203
00:09:12,831 --> 00:09:14,664
COME BACK
IN HALF AN HOUR.
204
00:09:16,133 --> 00:09:17,867
GOOD MOANING.
205
00:09:18,869 --> 00:09:20,469
I AM VERY SORRY,
OFFICER CRABTREE,
206
00:09:20,471 --> 00:09:21,671
BUT WE ARE CLOSED.
207
00:09:21,673 --> 00:09:24,240
IN THAT CASS I AM LICKY
TO HAVE CAUGHT YOU.
208
00:09:25,242 --> 00:09:27,043
IT WAS NOT LICKY FOR ME.
209
00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:31,648
I HAVE A MASSAGE FOR YOU.
210
00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:34,784
MICHELLE IS IN
THE TOWN SQUEER.
211
00:09:34,786 --> 00:09:37,586
SHE HAS A NEW
ESCOOP APPAROOTIS
212
00:09:37,588 --> 00:09:40,023
FOR THE BRITISH EARMIN.
213
00:09:40,025 --> 00:09:42,025
WELL GO AND TELL HER
TO STAY IN THE SQUEER.
214
00:09:42,027 --> 00:09:44,794
WHEN I GIVE HER
THE SECRET SOGNAL,
215
00:09:44,796 --> 00:09:48,164
SHE WILL APPEAR
LIKE A PHANTOM OUT OF THE NEWT.
216
00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:52,869
( whistle blows )
217
00:09:54,237 --> 00:09:55,337
I AM HERE.
218
00:09:55,339 --> 00:09:57,439
I SLIPPED UP
THE BACK PASSAGE.
219
00:09:58,508 --> 00:10:00,143
GATHER ROUND QUICKLY.
220
00:10:00,145 --> 00:10:01,744
YVETTE,
MIMI.
221
00:10:01,746 --> 00:10:03,512
THERE IS
VERY LITTLE TIME,
222
00:10:03,514 --> 00:10:04,547
SO LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY,
223
00:10:04,549 --> 00:10:06,949
I SHALL SAY THIS
ONLY ONCE.
224
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THE GERMANS ARE ABOUT
225
00:10:08,486 --> 00:10:09,652
TO PUT INTO ACTION
226
00:10:09,654 --> 00:10:12,288
A NEW AND TERRIBLE
SECRET WEAPON.
227
00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:13,556
WHAT IS THIS
SECRET WEAPON?
228
00:10:13,558 --> 00:10:15,491
A VERY BIG BOMB.
229
00:10:17,627 --> 00:10:20,596
WHAT WILL THEY
THINK OF NEXT?
230
00:10:20,598 --> 00:10:23,532
IT IS A NEW TYPE
OF LAND MINE.
231
00:10:23,534 --> 00:10:27,070
IT IS A DEVELOPMENT
OF THE MARK V LAND MINE.
232
00:10:27,072 --> 00:10:29,138
IT IS THE MARK SOX.
233
00:10:30,874 --> 00:10:32,809
WE HAVE CAPTURED
TWO OF THEM.
234
00:10:32,811 --> 00:10:34,811
IN GOD'S NAME, WHY?
235
00:10:34,813 --> 00:10:36,045
THEY WILL BE BROUGHT HERE,
236
00:10:36,047 --> 00:10:37,180
AND THEN I WILL EXPLAIN.
237
00:10:37,182 --> 00:10:38,981
OH, NO, NOT IN MY CAFE.
238
00:10:38,983 --> 00:10:41,350
NOT THE MARK SOX.
239
00:10:41,352 --> 00:10:42,952
IT IS TOO LATE,
THEY ARE HERE.
240
00:10:42,954 --> 00:10:44,520
Rene:
OH MY GOD.
241
00:10:44,522 --> 00:10:46,155
DO NOT DROP THEM.
242
00:10:46,157 --> 00:10:47,523
YOU WILL BLOW
THE WHOLE OF NOUVION
243
00:10:47,525 --> 00:10:48,858
TO KINGDOM COME.
244
00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:50,927
THE EXPLOSIVE HAS
BEEN REMOVED.
245
00:10:50,929 --> 00:10:52,895
WHAT GOOD IS
A BOMB WITHOUT EXPLOSIVES?
246
00:10:52,897 --> 00:10:56,733
IT IS A PLIN DEVOSED
BY BRITISH INTOLLIGENCE.
247
00:10:57,768 --> 00:11:00,336
THESE BUMMS
ARE HOLLOW, ROOT?
248
00:11:00,338 --> 00:11:02,839
ROOT.
249
00:11:02,841 --> 00:11:06,109
IN THEM,
WE WILL PLOCE
250
00:11:06,111 --> 00:11:08,144
THE TWO BRITISH EARMIN.
251
00:11:08,146 --> 00:11:11,647
THE BUMMS WILL BE
LOADED ON A BUMMER
252
00:11:14,885 --> 00:11:17,019
ON A DICK NIGHT,
253
00:11:18,756 --> 00:11:22,091
AND THEN THEY WILL
BE DRIPPED OVER ONGLAND.
254
00:11:22,093 --> 00:11:24,026
EXCUSE ME ASKING,
255
00:11:24,028 --> 00:11:25,361
BUT WILL THIS NOT
KILL THEM?
256
00:11:25,363 --> 00:11:28,898
THAT IS THE CLEAVER BOT.
257
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:31,600
THE BRITISH EARMIN
WILL WEAR PARASHATS.
258
00:11:33,237 --> 00:11:35,138
THE LODS--
259
00:11:35,140 --> 00:11:37,240
ARE SECURED BY THESE,
260
00:11:37,242 --> 00:11:39,675
THEY ARE STEEL NUTS.
261
00:11:39,677 --> 00:11:42,245
THEY WILL EACH
HAVE A SPINNER.
262
00:11:45,783 --> 00:11:49,152
AS THEY DESCOND,
THEY WILL UNSCREW THEIR NUTS.
263
00:11:54,124 --> 00:11:56,692
WELL, IT WILL BE ONE WAY
OF PASSING THE TIME.
264
00:11:58,461 --> 00:12:00,629
THEY WILL THEN
REMAUVE THE LODS
265
00:12:00,631 --> 00:12:02,364
AND JUMP OUT,
AND IMMEDIATELY OPEN
266
00:12:02,366 --> 00:12:03,632
THEIR PARASHATS.
267
00:12:03,634 --> 00:12:06,068
HAVE YOU TOLD
THE TWO AIRMENT UPSTAIRS
268
00:12:06,070 --> 00:12:07,069
OF THIS PLAN?
269
00:12:07,071 --> 00:12:08,570
EVEN AS WE SPEAK,
270
00:12:08,572 --> 00:12:10,773
ONE OF MY GIRLS HAS
EXPLAINED IT TO THEM.
271
00:12:10,775 --> 00:12:13,509
( pounding )
272
00:12:17,747 --> 00:12:19,949
ABOUT ONE THING
I AM NOT CLEAR--
273
00:12:19,951 --> 00:12:21,550
WHERE ARE
THE PARACHUTES?
274
00:12:21,552 --> 00:12:23,953
THEY WILL BE
CAMOUFLAGED AS PILLOWS,
275
00:12:23,955 --> 00:12:25,621
AND DELIVERED
BY ONE OF OUR AGENTS.
276
00:12:25,623 --> 00:12:27,256
HOW WILL I KNOW
THIS AGENT?
277
00:12:27,258 --> 00:12:29,591
HE WILL BE DISGUISED
AS A PILLOW STUFFER.
278
00:12:29,593 --> 00:12:31,027
NOW, LOOK.
279
00:12:31,029 --> 00:12:32,962
MIMI, YOU WILL SEE
THAT THESE BOMBS
280
00:12:32,964 --> 00:12:34,230
ARE HIDDEN
IN THE CELLAR.
281
00:12:36,499 --> 00:12:37,834
LOOK AT THE TIME.
282
00:12:37,836 --> 00:12:39,135
LONDON WILL BE CALLING
ANY MOMENT.
283
00:12:39,137 --> 00:12:41,270
WE MUST GO QUICKLY
TO THE RADIO.
284
00:12:41,272 --> 00:12:43,739
YOU WILL TELL ENGLAND
THAT THE AIRMEN
285
00:12:43,741 --> 00:12:45,541
WILL BE ARRIVING
ON THE NEXT AIR RAID.
286
00:12:45,543 --> 00:12:46,976
OH, VERY WELL.
287
00:12:46,978 --> 00:12:48,044
COME, RENE.
288
00:12:48,046 --> 00:12:49,378
NO, YOU GO WITH YVETTE.
289
00:12:49,380 --> 00:12:51,314
I WANT NO PART
OF THIS CRAZY PLAN.
290
00:12:51,316 --> 00:12:53,182
I AM RESIGNING
FROM THE RESISTANCE.
291
00:12:56,486 --> 00:12:58,620
IT IS A DARING PLAN.
292
00:12:58,622 --> 00:13:00,556
IF IT SUCCEEDS,
293
00:13:00,558 --> 00:13:02,024
THE BRITISH AIRMEN
WILL ONCE AGAIN
294
00:13:02,026 --> 00:13:03,960
BE ON THEIR NATIVE SOIL.
295
00:13:03,962 --> 00:13:06,262
IF THEY DO NOT MANAGE
TO UNSCREW THEIR NUTS,
296
00:13:06,264 --> 00:13:07,696
THEY WILL HAVE
TO DIG THEM OUT
297
00:13:07,698 --> 00:13:08,931
OF THE ENGLISH SOIL.
298
00:13:18,675 --> 00:13:20,576
I SAY FAIRFAX,
299
00:13:20,578 --> 00:13:22,945
I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT THE NEW ESCAPE PLAN.
300
00:13:22,947 --> 00:13:24,280
SO HAVE I.
301
00:13:24,282 --> 00:13:25,948
I'M A BIT
WINDY ABOUT IT.
302
00:13:25,950 --> 00:13:27,350
SO AM I.
303
00:13:27,352 --> 00:13:29,886
FOR INSTANCE,
HOW ARE WE GOING
304
00:13:29,888 --> 00:13:32,255
TO FIND OUR NUTS
IN THE DARK?
305
00:13:33,757 --> 00:13:37,159
HOW WOULD IT BE
IF WE COVERED THEM
WITH LUMINOUS PAINT?
306
00:13:37,161 --> 00:13:39,061
GOOD IDEA.
307
00:13:39,063 --> 00:13:40,930
I'LL SUGGEST IT
TO THAT RESISTANCE GIRL.
308
00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:46,535
MAMMA, WE NEED
THE RADIO.
309
00:13:48,171 --> 00:13:49,738
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.
310
00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:52,141
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THE BED OF MY MOTHER?
311
00:13:52,143 --> 00:13:53,475
LEAVE HIM ALONE.
312
00:13:53,477 --> 00:13:56,012
HE IS A MAN ON THE RUN.
313
00:13:58,348 --> 00:13:59,382
POOR MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.
314
00:13:59,384 --> 00:14:01,117
ARE YOU QUITE COMFORTABLE?
315
00:14:01,119 --> 00:14:02,651
( heart monitor
beeps faster )
316
00:14:02,653 --> 00:14:04,486
AH, YES,
BUT THIS MACHINE
317
00:14:04,488 --> 00:14:05,554
KEEPS ME AWAKE.
318
00:14:05,556 --> 00:14:08,024
IT RESPONDS TO EVERY
BEAT OF MY HEART
319
00:14:08,026 --> 00:14:09,625
BECAUSE I AM
STILL ATTACHED
320
00:14:09,627 --> 00:14:11,460
TO IT FROM THE CHEST.
321
00:14:11,462 --> 00:14:14,496
I TRIED PULLING
THE WIRE,
322
00:14:14,498 --> 00:14:18,367
BUT NOTHING HAPPENED.
323
00:14:18,369 --> 00:14:20,136
( monitor beeping fast;
radio buzzer sounds )
324
00:14:20,138 --> 00:14:22,604
I SEE FLASHING KNOBS.
325
00:14:22,606 --> 00:14:25,107
FLASHING KNOBS,
MY GOD!
326
00:14:25,109 --> 00:14:26,475
AARGH!
327
00:14:29,613 --> 00:14:31,380
RENE, I MUST
SPEAK WITH YOU.
328
00:14:31,382 --> 00:14:33,649
WHEN ARE THESE GIRLS
FROM THE COMMUNIST
RESISTANCE
329
00:14:33,651 --> 00:14:35,184
GONNA LEAVE US?
330
00:14:35,186 --> 00:14:37,052
I WISH TO HAVE
MY ROOM BACK,
331
00:14:37,054 --> 00:14:39,121
SO THAT WE CAN
FLY AWAY
332
00:14:39,123 --> 00:14:41,624
ON A MAGIC GOSSAMER
CLOUD OF HAPPINESS
333
00:14:41,626 --> 00:14:44,126
AND ENCHANTMENT,
IN BED.
334
00:14:44,128 --> 00:14:46,195
OH, DEAR
LITTLE MIMI,
335
00:14:46,197 --> 00:14:48,130
SO MUCH PASSION
BOTTLED UP
336
00:14:48,132 --> 00:14:50,165
IN SUCH A SMALL
CONTAINER.
337
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:51,934
QUICK, I HEAR
FOOTSTEPS. HERE.
338
00:14:56,540 --> 00:14:58,006
RENE,
339
00:14:59,509 --> 00:15:01,276
WE HAVE HELD A COMMITTEE
MEETING AND,
340
00:15:01,278 --> 00:15:03,278
BY A DEMOCRATIC VOTE
OF 12 TO THREE,
341
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:04,313
WE ARE MOVING
TO ABBEVILLE.
342
00:15:04,315 --> 00:15:06,349
GOOD.
A SAFE HOUSE?
343
00:15:06,351 --> 00:15:08,183
A HOUSE WITH A SAFE.
344
00:15:08,185 --> 00:15:09,852
THE LORRY IS OUTSIDE.
345
00:15:09,854 --> 00:15:11,487
GOODBYE, BRAVE RENE.
346
00:15:12,489 --> 00:15:14,089
IF I SHOULD DIE,
347
00:15:14,091 --> 00:15:16,726
YOUR NAME WILL BE
CARVED HERE, ON MY HEART.
348
00:15:16,728 --> 00:15:19,161
WELL, DO NOT PUT
MY ADDRESS ON IT,
WILL YOU?
349
00:15:20,464 --> 00:15:21,930
FOLLOW ME, GIRLS.
350
00:15:24,468 --> 00:15:26,635
AS SOON AS IT IS SAFE,
I WILL KILL HER
351
00:15:26,637 --> 00:15:28,671
AND COME BACK
AND TAKE WHAT IS MINE.
352
00:15:28,673 --> 00:15:30,406
WHY? WHAT HAVE
YOU LEFT BEHIND?
353
00:15:30,408 --> 00:15:32,408
YOU!
354
00:15:32,410 --> 00:15:34,209
DO NOT WORRY, MY SWEET.
355
00:15:34,211 --> 00:15:35,911
I MAKE YOU
A SOLEMN PROMISE,
356
00:15:35,913 --> 00:15:37,480
YOU WILL BE KIDNAPPED,
357
00:15:37,482 --> 00:15:39,047
TIED HAND AND FOOT,
358
00:15:39,049 --> 00:15:40,883
AND BROUGHT TO ME
WITHIN A MONTH.
359
00:15:43,487 --> 00:15:45,688
( honking )
360
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:48,123
THE HORN,
YOU MUST GO.
361
00:15:51,528 --> 00:15:52,828
( grunting )
362
00:15:59,469 --> 00:16:02,671
COLONEL, I HAVE TO REPORT
THAT CAPTAIN BERTORELLI
363
00:16:02,673 --> 00:16:05,040
HAS LEFT HIS ROOM ON HIS WAY
TO RENE'S CAFE.
364
00:16:05,042 --> 00:16:07,075
GOOD. GRUBER,
365
00:16:07,077 --> 00:16:08,977
GET ME THE GESTAPO
ON THE BLOWER.
366
00:16:08,979 --> 00:16:11,280
I WILL TIP OFF
HERR FLICK
367
00:16:11,282 --> 00:16:13,482
AND HE WILL
ARREST BERTORELLI.
368
00:16:13,484 --> 00:16:15,551
IT IS RINGING, COLONEL.
369
00:16:17,987 --> 00:16:20,689
HELLO.
370
00:16:20,691 --> 00:16:22,425
Herr Flick:
This is a recorded
371
00:16:22,427 --> 00:16:24,293
Gestapo message.
372
00:16:26,195 --> 00:16:28,931
I am not taking
calls at the moment
373
00:16:28,933 --> 00:16:30,666
but you may leave
a message
374
00:16:30,668 --> 00:16:33,068
on the revolving
wax disc.
375
00:16:33,070 --> 00:16:35,471
Please speak
after the gunshot.
376
00:16:35,473 --> 00:16:37,139
( gun fires )
377
00:16:40,844 --> 00:16:42,878
( bad French accent )
I AM AN ANONYMOUS
378
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,914
FRENCH PEASANT.
379
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:47,282
ZE MISSING MONEY
380
00:16:47,284 --> 00:16:49,318
IS IN ZE TROUSERS
381
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,119
OF ZE MAN
382
00:16:51,121 --> 00:16:53,589
WITH A FEATHERS
IN HIS 'AT.
383
00:16:55,659 --> 00:16:58,594
YOU WILL FIND HIM
AT ZE CAFE RENE.
384
00:16:58,596 --> 00:17:01,430
I WOULD TELL YOU MORE
385
00:17:01,432 --> 00:17:03,398
ONLY MY MONEY'S RUNNING OUT.
386
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,233
PIP, PIP, PIP,
PIP, PIP, PIP,
387
00:17:05,235 --> 00:17:07,870
WELL DONE, COLONEL.
388
00:17:07,872 --> 00:17:10,840
A BRILLIANT
IMPERSONATION.
389
00:17:10,842 --> 00:17:13,208
BUT IF HE DOES NOT RECEIVE
THE MESSAGE QUICKLY,
390
00:17:13,210 --> 00:17:15,377
RENE WILL RECEIVE
THE MONEY AND...
391
00:17:15,379 --> 00:17:16,879
HE WILL BE ARRESTED.
392
00:17:16,881 --> 00:17:19,014
SO WHAT?
HE'S ONLY A FRENCHMAN.
393
00:17:19,016 --> 00:17:20,783
HE KNOWS TOO MUCH.
394
00:17:21,785 --> 00:17:23,418
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
395
00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:25,087
WE'LL GO TO THE CAFE
AT ONCE.
396
00:17:27,958 --> 00:17:31,093
( singing off-key )
♪ FALLING IN LOVE WITH LOVE, ♪
397
00:17:31,095 --> 00:17:33,628
♪ IS FALLING
FOR MAKE BELIEVE ♪
398
00:17:35,832 --> 00:17:38,700
♪ FALLING IN LOVE
WITH LOVE ♪
399
00:17:38,702 --> 00:17:41,303
♪ IS PLAYING THE FOOL... ♪
400
00:17:42,439 --> 00:17:44,306
OH, RENE,
401
00:17:44,308 --> 00:17:46,842
THERE ARE TEARS
IN YOUR EYES.
402
00:17:46,844 --> 00:17:49,278
DO THE WORDS
MAKE YOU CRY?
403
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:50,779
NO, YVETTE.
404
00:17:50,781 --> 00:17:52,747
IT IS THE WAY
SHE SINGS THEM.
405
00:17:52,749 --> 00:17:54,783
WHY DO WE NOT GO
INTO THE BACK ROOM
406
00:17:54,785 --> 00:17:56,718
WHILE NOBODY
IS LOOKING?
407
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,920
HOW CAN I?
WHAT EXCUSE DO I HAVE?
408
00:17:58,922 --> 00:18:01,991
I WILL PROVIDE
YOU WITH ONE.
409
00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:05,227
♪ ONE NIGHT WHEN
THE MOON WAS YOURS... ♪
410
00:18:05,229 --> 00:18:07,796
RENE, YOU ARE WANTED
IN THE BACK ROOM.
411
00:18:07,798 --> 00:18:10,032
I AM COMING.
412
00:18:10,034 --> 00:18:11,700
♪ WITH EYES
UNABLE TO SEE... ♪
413
00:18:11,702 --> 00:18:14,103
OH, RENE.
414
00:18:16,206 --> 00:18:17,973
RENE, WHY DO WE
NOT TAKE
415
00:18:17,975 --> 00:18:20,642
THE SILVER CANDLESTICKS,
CLIMB OUT THE WINDOW,
416
00:18:20,644 --> 00:18:22,911
SELL THEM,
BUT A TICKET TO PARIS,
417
00:18:22,913 --> 00:18:24,746
FIND A SMALL CHEAP HOTEL
418
00:18:24,748 --> 00:18:27,049
IN THE LESS FASHIONABLE
PART OF THE LEFT BANK?
419
00:18:27,051 --> 00:18:29,684
I CAN BRING CUSTOMERS
TO MY ROOM.
420
00:18:29,686 --> 00:18:32,388
YOU CAN HIDE
IN THE WARDROBE.
421
00:18:32,390 --> 00:18:34,823
AND SOON WE WILL
HAVE ENOUGH MONEY
422
00:18:34,825 --> 00:18:36,125
TO MOVE SOMEWHERE
BETTER.
423
00:18:36,127 --> 00:18:38,027
OH, YVETTE,
424
00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:40,329
YOU DEAR, ROMANTIC,
PRACTICAL CHILD.
425
00:18:40,331 --> 00:18:43,832
THOSE SILVER CANDLESTICKS
ARE ONLY ELECTROPLATED.
426
00:18:43,834 --> 00:18:46,268
OH, RENE.
427
00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:48,437
AH, YES, I KNOW
HOW YOU FEEL, MY LOVE.
428
00:18:48,439 --> 00:18:51,773
I GOT A SHOCK WHEN I TOOK
THEM TO THE PAWNBROKERS.
429
00:18:52,775 --> 00:18:55,610
♪ I FELL IN LOVE WITH LOVE ♪
430
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:58,713
♪ WITH LOVE, EVERLASTING ♪
431
00:18:59,815 --> 00:19:02,784
♪ BUT LOVE FELL OUT ♪
432
00:19:02,786 --> 00:19:05,687
♪ WITH ME-EEE. ♪
433
00:19:14,464 --> 00:19:16,398
AH, CAPTAIN,
434
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:17,999
YOU HAVE JUST
MISSED MY CABARET.
435
00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:21,036
DON'T WORRY, I HEAR YOU
ACROSS THE SQUARE.
436
00:19:25,007 --> 00:19:26,641
DEAR LADY,
437
00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:28,410
I NEED THE PRIVATE WORD
438
00:19:28,412 --> 00:19:30,245
INSIDE YOUR EARHOLE.
439
00:19:30,247 --> 00:19:32,314
COME AND SIT DOWN,
DEAR CAPTAIN.
440
00:19:32,316 --> 00:19:36,251
MIMI, THE BEST WINE
FOR THE CAPTAIN.
441
00:19:36,253 --> 00:19:38,087
COME CLOSER,
I NO WANT ANYBODY
442
00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:39,988
HEAR WHAT I SAY.
443
00:19:41,291 --> 00:19:43,325
WHISPER TO ME
SOFTLY, CAPTAIN,
444
00:19:43,327 --> 00:19:45,227
WHAT IS IT
YOU WANT?
445
00:19:45,229 --> 00:19:47,496
I HAVE FOR YOU
A LOT OF SOMETHING
446
00:19:47,498 --> 00:19:49,298
WHICH ONCE RENE HAD.
447
00:19:51,201 --> 00:19:53,569
BUT NO LONGER HE GOT.
448
00:19:53,571 --> 00:19:55,571
I THINK I KNOW
WHAT YOU ARE
449
00:19:55,573 --> 00:19:57,406
TRYING TO SAY,
CAPTAIN,
450
00:19:57,408 --> 00:19:59,408
BUT I THINK IT IS
A PRIVATE MATTER
451
00:19:59,410 --> 00:20:01,410
BETWEEN MY HUSBAND
AND MYSELF.
452
00:20:01,412 --> 00:20:03,612
I NO THINK YOU
UNDERSTAND ME STRAIGHT.
453
00:20:04,947 --> 00:20:06,748
I UNDERSTAND YOU
PERFECTLY, CAPTAIN.
454
00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:08,650
IT IS JUST THAT
455
00:20:08,652 --> 00:20:10,185
MY COURAGE
IS FAILING ME
456
00:20:10,187 --> 00:20:11,786
AT THE LAST MOMENT.
457
00:20:11,788 --> 00:20:13,388
I COME TO THE POINT.
458
00:20:13,390 --> 00:20:15,290
I WANT TO TAKE YOU
UPSTAIRS,
459
00:20:15,292 --> 00:20:16,858
TAKE DOWN MY TROUSERS,
460
00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:18,793
AND GIVE YOU
1,000,000 FRANCS.
461
00:20:22,398 --> 00:20:23,999
WHAT IS THE MATTER?
WHAT HAS HAPPENED?
462
00:20:24,001 --> 00:20:26,401
I WISH TO GIVE BACK TO YOU
THE MONEY YOU STOLE
FROM THE GESTAPO.
463
00:20:26,403 --> 00:20:28,303
SHHH, I DO NOT WANT IT.
464
00:20:28,305 --> 00:20:30,239
YOU NO TAKE, THE COLONEL,
HE HAVE YOU SHOT.
465
00:20:30,241 --> 00:20:32,207
MIMI, TAKE THE CAPTAIN
INTO THE KITCHEN.
466
00:20:32,209 --> 00:20:34,209
PUT THE MONEY
IN THE OVEN.
467
00:20:35,378 --> 00:20:37,212
EDITH, EDITH,
468
00:20:38,214 --> 00:20:39,881
EDITH.
469
00:20:39,883 --> 00:20:42,518
RENE, RENE.
470
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,154
WE MUST TELL THE GIRLS
TO PUT UP THEIR PRICES.
471
00:20:45,156 --> 00:20:47,523
WE ARE UNDERCHARGING.
472
00:20:53,896 --> 00:20:55,430
BERTORELLI'S
NOT HERE.
473
00:20:55,432 --> 00:20:57,232
WE MAY BE
JUST IN TIME.
474
00:20:57,234 --> 00:20:58,867
GRAB RENE
AND WARN HIM.
475
00:20:58,869 --> 00:21:00,469
- RENE,
- YES, LIEUTENANT?
476
00:21:00,471 --> 00:21:02,671
I MUST SPEAK
WITH YOU PRIVATELY.
477
00:21:02,673 --> 00:21:03,972
LIEUTENANT, I HAVE
A CAFE FULL OF PEOPLE.
478
00:21:03,974 --> 00:21:05,740
- WILL IT NOT WAIT?
- NO, IT WILL NOT.
479
00:21:07,610 --> 00:21:09,478
CAPTAIN BERTORELLI
WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
480
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,446
HE HAS SOMETHING FOR YOU,
481
00:21:11,448 --> 00:21:13,014
IN HIS TROUSERS.
482
00:21:13,016 --> 00:21:14,383
ON NO ACCOUNT
LET HIM GIVE IT TO YOU.
483
00:21:16,619 --> 00:21:19,087
I'M NOT QUITE SURE THAT
I FOLLOW YOU, LIEUTENANT.
484
00:21:19,089 --> 00:21:21,956
IT IS THE STOLEN
GESTAPO MONEY.
485
00:21:21,958 --> 00:21:23,958
WHY WOULD HE WANT
TO GIVE IT TO ME?
486
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,495
THE NOTES ARE FORGERIES.
487
00:21:26,497 --> 00:21:28,630
HE IS OBEYING
THE COLONEL'S INSTRUCTIONS.
488
00:21:28,632 --> 00:21:30,365
WE PLANTED IT ON BERTORELLI.
489
00:21:30,367 --> 00:21:32,167
WE THEN INFORMED
THE GESTAPO THAT THE MONEY
490
00:21:32,169 --> 00:21:33,802
COULD BE FOUND
ON THE PERSON
491
00:21:33,804 --> 00:21:35,504
OF THE MAN
WITH A FEATHERED HAT.
492
00:21:35,506 --> 00:21:37,772
BUT WHY DO YOU WANT
BERTORELLI ARRESTED?
493
00:21:37,774 --> 00:21:40,642
BECAUSE HE IS
AN INTERFERING WOP.
494
00:21:40,644 --> 00:21:42,977
I SEE. WELL,
THE INTERFERING WOP
495
00:21:42,979 --> 00:21:45,714
IS IN THE KITCHEN WITH MIMI
PUTTING THE MONEY INTO THE OVEN.
496
00:21:45,716 --> 00:21:46,981
COME, GRUBER.
497
00:21:46,983 --> 00:21:48,783
WE MUST STUFF IT
BACK IN HIS TROUSERS,
498
00:21:48,785 --> 00:21:51,353
SO THAT HE CAN BE ARRESTED
ACCORDING TO PLAN.
499
00:21:54,624 --> 00:21:56,658
STUFF YOUR PILLOWS,
500
00:21:56,660 --> 00:21:58,960
STUFF YOUR PILLOWS.
501
00:21:58,962 --> 00:22:01,062
OH MY GOD!
502
00:22:01,064 --> 00:22:03,532
WILL YOU BUY
SOME FEATHERS
503
00:22:03,534 --> 00:22:06,101
FROM A POOR OLD
PILLOW STUFFER.
504
00:22:06,103 --> 00:22:07,936
SHUT UP!
COME HERE.
505
00:22:08,971 --> 00:22:11,072
PSST!
506
00:22:11,074 --> 00:22:13,074
IT IS I, LECLERC.
507
00:22:15,478 --> 00:22:17,713
I AM DISGUISED
508
00:22:17,715 --> 00:22:20,115
AS A POOR OLD
PILLOW STUFFER.
509
00:22:20,117 --> 00:22:22,217
INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM
THE GENUINE ARTICLE,
510
00:22:22,219 --> 00:22:23,719
AS USUAL.
511
00:22:25,221 --> 00:22:27,489
I HAVE THE PARACHUTES.
512
00:22:27,491 --> 00:22:29,491
THEY ARE IN THE PILLOWS.
513
00:22:29,493 --> 00:22:32,361
SHH!
I WILL TAKE THESE
TWO SAMPLE PILLOWS
514
00:22:32,363 --> 00:22:33,928
FROM YOU,
PILLOW STUFFER.
515
00:22:33,930 --> 00:22:35,196
GOODBYE.
516
00:22:35,198 --> 00:22:37,466
- AND I WILL--
- GOODBYE, THANK YOU.
GOODBYE.
517
00:22:37,468 --> 00:22:39,167
PILLOWS!
518
00:22:39,169 --> 00:22:40,569
STOP!
519
00:22:40,571 --> 00:22:42,371
A MAN WITH FEATHERS
IN HIS HAT.
520
00:22:42,373 --> 00:22:44,005
YOU WILL COME WITH ME.
521
00:22:46,242 --> 00:22:48,410
NO, NO, NO.
522
00:22:48,412 --> 00:22:51,346
I AM JUST A HUMBLE
523
00:22:51,348 --> 00:22:53,382
OLD PILLOW STUFFER.
524
00:22:53,384 --> 00:22:56,217
I HAVE INFORMATION THAT
YOU HAVE IN YOUR TROUSERS,
525
00:22:56,219 --> 00:22:58,654
SOMETHING OF INTEREST
TO THE GESTAPO.
526
00:23:04,327 --> 00:23:06,127
( stuttering )
527
00:23:06,129 --> 00:23:09,864
PLEASE, IT IS I, LECLERC.
528
00:23:09,866 --> 00:23:12,000
RENE, TELL THEM
WHO I AM.
529
00:23:12,002 --> 00:23:14,436
I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU
BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
530
00:23:15,838 --> 00:23:17,773
YOU SEE, HE'S--
WHAT?!
531
00:23:19,309 --> 00:23:20,942
IN THAT CASE,
532
00:23:20,944 --> 00:23:24,179
HERE, GET STUFFED!
533
00:23:25,648 --> 00:23:28,483
QUICK!
ARREST THAT PILLOW STUFFER.
534
00:23:31,153 --> 00:23:33,522
( theme music playing )