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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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( theme music playing )
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IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE
THAT THIS BEDKNOB
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IS RESPONSIBLE
FOR THE DISAPPEARANCE
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OF MONSIEUR LECLERC
AND MY WIFE'S MOTHER,
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BUT IT IS A FACT.
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A SECRET DISAPPEARING BED,
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BUILT BY MONSIEUR ALPHONSE
THE UNDERTAKER,
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00:00:31,921 --> 00:00:34,456
WHICH WAS ONLY TO BE USED
IN AN EMERGENCY,
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WAS ACTIVATED
BY THIS VERY KNOB
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SO THAT THE SILLY
OLD COUPLE COULD HIDE
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AFTER THEY HAD BEEN RELEASED
AND SNATCHED FROM PRISON
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BY MY WIFE, EDITH,
WHO WAS USING FORGED PAPERS.
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MADAME FANNY
TURNED THIS KNOB
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AND SHE
AND MONSIEUR LECLERC
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FLEW UP INTO THE WALL
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AND THE KNOB FELL OFF.
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AS IT HAS TO BE TURNED AGAIN
TO RELEASE THE BED,
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THEY ARE, OF COURSE
STILL HANGING UPSIDE DOWN
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LIKE A COUPLE OF AGED BATS.
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I HAVE JUST PHONED
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE
21
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TO GET HIM TO COME
AND RELEASE THEM,
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BUT IF HE DOES NOT HURRY UP,
WELL, I FEAR THE WORST.
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RENE.
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WHERE IS MONSIEUR ALPHONSE
WITH HIS TOOLS?
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HE SHOULD BE HERE.
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WELL, PERHAPS
HIS HORSE IS LAME.
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THEY HAVE STOPPED KNOCKING.
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WHAT?
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MY MOTHER
AND MONSIEUR LECLERC.
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OH, MAMMA.
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TO THINK THIS KNOB WAS
THE LAST THING SHE HELD
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BEFORE SHE DISAPPEARED.
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A FITTING EPITAPH, EDITH.
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OH GOD.
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MERCI.
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OH, MY DICKY TICKER.
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WE UNDERTAKERS
ARE NOT USED TO HURRYING.
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OUR CLIENTS
ARE USUALLY DEAD.
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ARE YOU ALL RIGHT,
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE?
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RENE, HE DOES NOT
LOOK WELL.
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THEN TAKE HIM UPSTAIRS.
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IF HE PEGS OUT
DOWN HERE
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PEOPLE WILL THINK
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IT IS SOMETHING
WRONG WITH MY WINE.
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( soft knock )
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- ( pounds wall )
- Yvette: OH!
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SHUSH!
48
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HOW CAN I HEAR
IF THEY'RE BANGING
IF YOU'RE BANGING?
49
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AND HOW CAN I HEAR
IF THEY HAVE BANGED
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IN ANSWER TO MY BANG
IF YOU ARE SHOUTING?
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OH, YOU LISTEN,
I'LL BANG.
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NO, YOU LISTEN,
I'LL BANG.
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- NO! NO!
- YES! YES!
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00:02:16,893 --> 00:02:19,093
Rene:
STOP THAT, YOU TWO!
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Edith:
CAN YOU HEAR ANYTHING?
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- NOTHING.
- EXCEPT HER SHOUTING.
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WHAT IF MAMMA
HAS SUFFOCATED?
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THIS PLACE IS RIDDLED
WITH MOUSE HOLES.
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THERE IS BOUND
TO BE SOME AIR
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EVEN IF IT DOES SMELL
STRONGLY OF CHEESE.
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DO NOT FEAR, MADAME,
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I HAVE COME FULLY PREPARED
FOR ALL EVENTUALITIES.
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I HAVE WITH ME
MY UNDERTAKER'S
TAPE MEASURE
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AND ALSO A CATALOG
OF MY COFFINS
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FOR YOU TO PERUSE
AT YOUR LEISURE.
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00:02:45,988 --> 00:02:49,424
OH, MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,
SURELY YOU CAN DO SOMETHING.
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00:02:49,426 --> 00:02:51,726
WELL, FIRST OF ALL
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I SHALL LISTEN
WITH MY STETHOSCOPE.
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( wheezing cough )
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PARDON.
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( wheezing )
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I CAN HEAR WHEEZING.
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DO THEY HAVE ASTHMA?
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00:03:08,845 --> 00:03:10,811
THAT IS YOU,
YOU OLD FOOL.
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THIS CRAFTSMANSHIP
IS SUPERB.
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I COULD NEVER
PRISE IT DOWN.
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I KNOW, I WILL DRILL
AN AIR HOLE FOR THEM.
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OH, MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,
DO BE CAREFUL.
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YES, DO NOT DRILL
THROUGH HER MOTHER.
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RENE, WHAT IF
HE STRIKES A VITAL ORGAN?
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SHE DOESN'T HAVE
A VITAL ORGAN.
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I HAVE STRUCK METAL.
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COULD IT BE
HER EAR TRUMPET?
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00:03:38,975 --> 00:03:41,743
IF IT IS,
I HOPE SHE
WAS NOT LISTENING.
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AH YES,
I CAN HEAR THEM NOW.
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THEY ARE SNORING.
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THEY ARE ASLEEP.
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MAMMA, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
IT IS ME, EDITH.
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( moaning; banging )
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Mamma:
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
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00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:01,262
NOW YOU'VE DONE IT.
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00:04:01,264 --> 00:04:02,430
WHY DID YOU NOT
LET THEM SLEEP
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UNTIL THEY WERE OUT?
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00:04:03,533 --> 00:04:05,566
YES, WELL,
THERE IS ONLY ONE ANSWER.
95
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I WILL DRILL SMALL HOLES
AROUND THE HINGES
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00:04:08,538 --> 00:04:11,105
AND PUT IN
A SMALL EXPLOSIVE CHARGE.
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00:04:11,107 --> 00:04:14,208
DO YOU HAVE
ANY DYNAMITE?
98
00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:16,511
THIS IS A CAFE,
NOT AN ARSENAL!
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00:04:16,513 --> 00:04:19,246
MICHELLE OF THE RESISTANCE
WILL HAVE SOME.
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RENE, GO TO
OFFICER CRABTREE.
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HE WILL FIND MICHELLE
AND GET SOME DYNAMITE
FROM HER.
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I AM NOT GOING
TO RISK MY NECK
GETTING DYNAMITE.
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WE COULD BLOW
THE WHOLE PLACE UP.
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BUT WE NEED
ONLY A SMALL CHARGE.
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( moaning )
106
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I THINK MADAME FANNY
IS TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING.
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YES, SHE WANTS
SOME SOUP.
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THAT WILL BE TRICKY.
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MIMI, THERE IS SOME
ONION SOUP ON THE STOVE.
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GO DOWN, FILL THE BELLOWS
WITH THE SOUP
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THEN PUT THE NOZZLE
IN THE HOLE IN THE WALL.
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00:04:49,011 --> 00:04:50,878
WE WILL PUMP SOME THROUGH.
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00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,148
AFTER THAT WE MAY
NOT NEED DYNAMITE.
114
00:04:54,150 --> 00:04:56,317
I WILL GO AND GET
A MESSAGE TO MICHELLE.
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IN THE MEANTIME,
DO NOTHING.
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( knocking )
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I OPEN MY DOOR TO NO ONE
118
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UNLESS THEY GIVE
THE CORRECT SECRET KNOCK.
119
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( rhythmic knocking )
120
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WRONG.
121
00:05:15,137 --> 00:05:17,538
IT IS ME, HERR FLICK.
HELGA.
122
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WHY DID YOU
NOT SHOUT?
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I DO NOT WANT
THE WHOLE TOWN
TO KNOW
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I'M YOUR BIT
OF STUFF.
125
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SO,
126
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DID VON SMALLHAUSEN
127
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COMMIT A CRIME
IN THE COLONEL'S OFFICE
128
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AND GET HIMSELF
SENT TO JAIL
129
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IN ORDER TO
INGRATIATE HIMSELF
130
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WITH MADAME FANNY
AND THE OLD PIANO PLAYER,
131
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WHO ARE ALSO
PRISONERS THERE,
132
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TO FIND OUT
IF THEY KNOW
133
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THE WHEREABOUTS
OF THE BRITISH AIRMEN?
134
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- NO.
- WHAT?
135
00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:47,135
THAT IS TO SAY,
HE DID GET SENT TO JAIL.
136
00:05:47,137 --> 00:05:50,071
UNFORTUNATELY,
THE OLD COUPLE HAD
ALREADY BEEN RELEASED.
137
00:05:50,073 --> 00:05:52,740
VON SMALLHAUSEN WAS
ARRESTED FOR HAVING
NO PAPERS
138
00:05:52,742 --> 00:05:54,008
IN SUSPICIOUS
CIRCUMSTANCES.
139
00:05:54,010 --> 00:05:57,044
WHAT SUSPICIOUS
CIRCUMSTANCES?
140
00:05:57,046 --> 00:05:59,280
HE WAS DRESSED
AS A BURGLAR,
IN A MASK,
141
00:05:59,282 --> 00:06:01,515
AND RIDING A BICYCLE
WITHOUT A REAR LIGHT.
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00:06:01,517 --> 00:06:04,152
VON SMALLHAUSEN
DOES NOTHING RIGHT.
143
00:06:04,154 --> 00:06:06,654
FANCY FORGETTING
THE REAR LIGHT.
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00:06:06,656 --> 00:06:08,890
I WILL GO
HAVE HIM RELEASED.
145
00:06:08,892 --> 00:06:10,792
MAY I KISS YOU,
FIRST, HERR FLICK.
146
00:06:10,794 --> 00:06:14,295
NOT UNTIL YOU HAVE PASSED
YOUR SECRET KNOCKING TEST.
147
00:06:17,933 --> 00:06:19,000
THAT IS NEAR ENOUGH.
148
00:06:24,606 --> 00:06:25,706
HEIL HITLER.
149
00:06:25,708 --> 00:06:27,374
HEIL HITLER.
150
00:06:27,376 --> 00:06:28,810
HEIL MUSSOLINI.
151
00:06:31,213 --> 00:06:33,480
OH, GRUBER,
152
00:06:33,482 --> 00:06:35,582
THE DECORATIONS
ARE LOVELY.
153
00:06:35,584 --> 00:06:37,618
THANK YOU,
GENERAL.
154
00:06:38,653 --> 00:06:40,288
SIT!
155
00:06:41,323 --> 00:06:43,257
YOU VERY PROBABLY
HAVE ALL NOTICED
156
00:06:43,259 --> 00:06:46,060
THIS AREA HAS BECOME
SOMETHING OF A BACKWATER
157
00:06:46,062 --> 00:06:48,629
AS FAR AS THE WAR
IS CONCERNED, HMM?
158
00:06:48,631 --> 00:06:50,397
WELL ALL THAT
IS ABOUT TO BE CHANGED.
159
00:06:50,399 --> 00:06:52,867
WHAT DID YOU HAVE
IN MIND, GENERAL?
160
00:06:52,869 --> 00:06:55,469
SOMETHING,
THAT IF IT SUCCEEDS,
161
00:06:55,471 --> 00:06:57,638
WILL PUT OUR NAMES
DOWN IN HISTORY BOOKS
162
00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:00,374
ALONGSIDE THE GREAT
GERMAN WAR HEROES
OF THE PAST.
163
00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:02,643
OR THE GREAT
ITALIAN WAR HEROES.
164
00:07:02,645 --> 00:07:05,012
HIM AS WELL!
165
00:07:07,349 --> 00:07:09,917
HOW ARE WE TO ACHIEVE THIS?
166
00:07:09,919 --> 00:07:12,854
AN OLD COLLEAGUE OF MINE
WHO FOUGHT ALONGSIDE ME
167
00:07:12,856 --> 00:07:16,590
IN THE CONDOR LEGION IN SPAIN,
GENERAL BORIS VON BRATWURSTEN,
168
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HAS HEARD FROM INTELLIGENCE
THAT VERY SHORTLY,
169
00:07:19,996 --> 00:07:22,730
CHURCHILL IS SCHEDULED TO TAKE
A BRIEF PAINTING HOLIDAY
170
00:07:22,732 --> 00:07:25,299
ON THE SOUTH COAST
OF ENGLAND
171
00:07:25,301 --> 00:07:27,468
AT A PLACE
CALLED BOGNOR.
172
00:07:27,470 --> 00:07:28,903
All:
BOGNOR?
173
00:07:28,905 --> 00:07:32,139
NOW, VON BRATWURSTEN
PLANS TO GO IN
174
00:07:32,141 --> 00:07:33,707
ON A LIGHTNING
COMMANDO RAID
175
00:07:33,709 --> 00:07:36,677
AND SNATCH HIM,
ENDING THE WAR AT A STROKE,
176
00:07:36,679 --> 00:07:39,847
AND TO ENSURE
COMPLETE SECRECY,
177
00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:41,883
HE HAS DECIDED
TO LAUNCH THE RAID
178
00:07:43,185 --> 00:07:44,585
FROM HERE.
179
00:07:44,587 --> 00:07:46,453
EVEN THE FUHRER
KNOWS NOTHING.
180
00:07:46,455 --> 00:07:48,890
WON'T HE BE CROSS?
181
00:07:48,892 --> 00:07:51,558
IF WE FAIL,
HE WILL NEVER KNOW.
182
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,895
BUT, IF WE SUCCEED,
183
00:07:53,897 --> 00:07:56,797
WE WILL ALL BE
UP TO HERE IN IRON CROSSES.
184
00:07:56,799 --> 00:07:58,366
HOW DARING.
185
00:07:58,368 --> 00:08:00,834
HOW TYPICAL
OF THE CONDOR LEGION.
186
00:08:00,836 --> 00:08:03,737
YOU WILL HAVE
OUR FULL BACKING, GENERAL.
187
00:08:03,739 --> 00:08:04,972
WON'T HE, GRUBER?
188
00:08:04,974 --> 00:08:08,342
WE SHALL BE
BEHIND HIM ALL THE WAY.
189
00:08:10,845 --> 00:08:13,680
AND IF THE PLOT FAILS,
MUM'S THE WORD.
190
00:08:13,682 --> 00:08:15,049
IT MUST NOT FAIL,
191
00:08:15,051 --> 00:08:16,817
I AM TO BE
AT VAN BRATWURSTEN'S SIDE.
192
00:08:16,819 --> 00:08:19,320
IN THAT CASE
IT STANDS EVERY CHANCE.
193
00:08:19,322 --> 00:08:21,522
GRUBER,
I KNOW HOW KEEN YOU ARE
194
00:08:21,524 --> 00:08:22,957
TO BE IN THE ACTION
WITH THE MEN.
195
00:08:22,959 --> 00:08:25,559
AFTER THE RUSSIAN FRONT,
THIS MUST SEEM VERY TAME.
196
00:08:25,561 --> 00:08:27,929
I AM VERY ADAPTABLE.
197
00:08:27,931 --> 00:08:30,497
GOOD, I'VE PUT
YOUR NAME FORWARD.
198
00:08:30,499 --> 00:08:32,066
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
199
00:08:33,235 --> 00:08:35,869
HE'S TOO EXCITED
TO SPEAK.
200
00:08:37,872 --> 00:08:41,575
JUST THINK--
ONE DAY I SHALL
TELL MY CHILDREN
201
00:08:41,577 --> 00:08:43,644
I WAS PART OF THIS.
202
00:08:43,646 --> 00:08:45,579
JUST A SMALL PART
203
00:08:45,581 --> 00:08:47,748
BECAUSE
I'M RATHER OLD.
204
00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:49,216
NOT SO SMALL.
205
00:08:49,218 --> 00:08:52,119
WE SHALL NEED A SUICIDE SQUAD
TO COVER OUR RETREAT.
206
00:08:52,121 --> 00:08:55,089
YOU MAY LEAD IT IF YOU WISH.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
207
00:08:58,093 --> 00:09:01,095
HE IS TOO EXCITED
TO SPEAK.
208
00:09:01,097 --> 00:09:04,198
IN FACT, HE MAY
NEVER SPEAK AGAIN.
209
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,732
PERHAPS
WE SHOULD WAIT
210
00:09:05,734 --> 00:09:07,134
UNTIL GENERAL
VON KLINKERHOFFEN
211
00:09:07,136 --> 00:09:08,569
IS OUT
OF THE HOSPITAL?
212
00:09:08,571 --> 00:09:11,205
HE IS SO GOOD AT
PLANNING THIS KIND
OF THING.
213
00:09:11,207 --> 00:09:14,475
NO, NO.
HE WILL NOT BE COMING OUT.
214
00:09:14,477 --> 00:09:16,310
VON BRATWURSTEN
IS WORRIED
215
00:09:16,312 --> 00:09:17,845
HE MAY NOT GO
ALONG WITH THE PLAN.
216
00:09:17,847 --> 00:09:20,681
SO HE HAS CUT OFF
VON KLINKERHOFFEN'S PHONE
217
00:09:20,683 --> 00:09:23,985
AND IS MAKING ARRANGEMENTS
TO HAVE HIM TRANSFERRED
218
00:09:23,987 --> 00:09:25,987
TO A NURSING HOME
IN BAVARIA
219
00:09:25,989 --> 00:09:28,155
WHERE HE CAN
CONVALESCE
220
00:09:28,157 --> 00:09:29,890
AFTER HIS
NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
221
00:09:29,892 --> 00:09:31,658
COME.
222
00:09:31,660 --> 00:09:33,594
THE REPORT IS THAT
HE IS MUCH IMPROVED
223
00:09:33,596 --> 00:09:35,863
AND ALMOST READY
FOR RELEASE.
224
00:09:35,865 --> 00:09:38,799
I DO THINK WE SHOULD
CONSULT HIM FIRST.
225
00:09:38,801 --> 00:09:41,802
NO, NO. WE WANT
THE GLORY FOR OURSELVES.
226
00:09:44,039 --> 00:09:46,173
TO DEATH OR GLORY.
227
00:09:46,175 --> 00:09:49,477
All:
TO DEATH OR GLORY.
228
00:09:49,479 --> 00:09:51,979
IN OF ALL PLACES,
BOGNOR.
229
00:09:54,549 --> 00:09:57,518
( whistling )
230
00:10:00,889 --> 00:10:03,390
PASS ME THAT VASE,
PLEASE, YVETTE.
231
00:10:09,931 --> 00:10:11,565
GOOD MOANING.
232
00:10:12,934 --> 00:10:15,002
LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE
MADE ME DO, YOU IDIOT.
233
00:10:15,004 --> 00:10:17,605
I AM SIRRY.
DID I MAKE YOU JIMP?
234
00:10:17,607 --> 00:10:19,773
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
235
00:10:19,775 --> 00:10:22,977
I HAVE BRIGHT
THE DEENAMOTE
FROM MICHELLE.
236
00:10:22,979 --> 00:10:24,044
WHERE IS IT?
237
00:10:24,046 --> 00:10:26,814
IT IS DOON
MY TROOZERS
238
00:10:26,816 --> 00:10:29,483
DISGEEZED
AS KINDLES.
239
00:10:38,026 --> 00:10:42,496
THE FIRST ONE
IS A REAL KINDLE
240
00:10:42,498 --> 00:10:46,500
AND THE RIST
IS THE DEENAMOTE.
241
00:10:48,436 --> 00:10:51,405
AND I AM GLOD
TO GIT ROD OF IT.
242
00:10:51,407 --> 00:10:53,440
I ALSO HAVE A MASSAGE
FROM MICHELLE.
243
00:10:53,442 --> 00:10:55,242
WHAT IS THE MASSAGE?
244
00:10:55,244 --> 00:10:57,878
I MIST TAKE
THE BROTISH EARMEN
245
00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:01,515
TO BE WODE ON
THE FESHMINGER'S
SCOLES.
246
00:11:01,517 --> 00:11:03,884
WHAT IS THIS
LUNATIC ON ABOUT?
247
00:11:03,886 --> 00:11:06,887
HE WANTS TO TAKE
THE BRITISH AIRMEN
248
00:11:06,889 --> 00:11:09,089
TO BE WEIGHED
ON THE FISHMONGER'S SCALES.
249
00:11:09,091 --> 00:11:10,123
WHATEVER FOR?
250
00:11:10,125 --> 00:11:13,460
LONDON HOPES TO SEND
A LIGHT EARCRAFT
251
00:11:13,462 --> 00:11:15,729
AND THEY NEED
TO KNEE THEIR WOTES
252
00:11:15,731 --> 00:11:17,164
SO THE CAN FLEA
THEM AT NIT
253
00:11:17,166 --> 00:11:18,532
TO ONGLAND.
254
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,205
WHAT NIT
ARE THEY GOING TO FLEA THEM?
255
00:11:27,241 --> 00:11:29,043
IT HAS NOT BEEN DESUDED.
256
00:11:29,045 --> 00:11:31,144
WIER ARE THEY NOO?
257
00:11:33,815 --> 00:11:36,050
- HELLO.
- HELLO.
258
00:11:36,052 --> 00:11:39,219
WHEE ARE THEY DRISSED
AS SCRIBBING LOODIES?
259
00:11:39,221 --> 00:11:41,755
I HAVE TO GET
MY MONEY'S WORTH
FROM THEM SOMEHOW.
260
00:11:42,791 --> 00:11:44,091
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, CHAPS?
261
00:11:44,093 --> 00:11:45,525
WELL, NO, NOT REALLY.
262
00:11:45,527 --> 00:11:47,628
ALL THIS CLEANING
IS RUINING MY HANDS.
263
00:11:47,630 --> 00:11:52,600
AND I'VE GOT A NASTY CASE
OF HOUSEMAID'S KNEE.
264
00:11:52,602 --> 00:11:53,834
NOT TO WORRY.
IT WON'T BE
265
00:11:53,836 --> 00:11:55,603
FOR VERY MUCH LONGER.
COME WITH ME.
266
00:11:55,605 --> 00:11:59,272
BEFORE YOU GO,
CLEAN UP THIS BROKEN VASE.
267
00:11:59,274 --> 00:12:01,174
WHAT'S HE SAYING?
268
00:12:01,176 --> 00:12:03,077
NO IDEA.
269
00:12:03,079 --> 00:12:06,113
YOU'D THINK THEY'D
LEARN TO SPEAK ENGLISH.
270
00:12:06,115 --> 00:12:08,548
YOU CANNOT GET GOOD
DOMESTIC HELP THESE DAYS.
271
00:12:08,550 --> 00:12:11,384
OH, RENE,
IF ONLY WE COULD
272
00:12:11,386 --> 00:12:13,453
FLEE TO ENGLAND
IN THAT PLANE AS WELL.
273
00:12:13,455 --> 00:12:15,455
BUT WE ARE NOT
BRITISH AIRMEN.
274
00:12:15,457 --> 00:12:18,759
I WISH WE WERE.
OH, HOLD ME.
275
00:12:18,761 --> 00:12:21,294
AH, YVETTE.
276
00:12:21,296 --> 00:12:22,696
OH, RENE.
277
00:12:23,965 --> 00:12:27,901
EVERY TIME YOU HUG ME
I SEEM TO GROW STRONGER.
278
00:12:29,037 --> 00:12:31,905
I MUST REMEMBER
TO TOP UP MY BATTERY.
279
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:38,245
OH, IS THAT YOUR HEART
I CAN FEEL THROBBING?
280
00:12:41,983 --> 00:12:44,251
ALMOST
WITHOUT A DOUBT.
281
00:12:45,386 --> 00:12:46,353
RENE!
282
00:12:47,588 --> 00:12:48,656
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
283
00:12:48,658 --> 00:12:50,758
HOLDING THAT SERVANT GIRL
IN YOUR ARMS?
284
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:54,161
YOU STUPID WOMAN.
CAN YOU NOT SEE?
285
00:12:54,163 --> 00:12:57,898
THIS POOR CHILD,
WEAK FROM HUNGER,
286
00:12:57,900 --> 00:12:59,633
HAS BROKEN THIS VASE
AND IS WONDERING
287
00:12:59,635 --> 00:13:02,736
HOW SHE CAN PAY FOR IT
FROM HER MEAGER WAGES.
288
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:04,772
NO, NO, NO.
DO NOT FRET, CHILD.
289
00:13:04,774 --> 00:13:07,607
YOU CAN PAY
ON A MONTHLY BASIS...
290
00:13:07,609 --> 00:13:09,743
OVER SEVERAL YEARS.
291
00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:12,479
NOW GO AND OPEN
YOUR MONEY BOX,
292
00:13:12,481 --> 00:13:15,783
TAKE SOMETHING FROM IT
AND SLIP IT IN THE TILL
TOWARDS IT.
293
00:13:15,785 --> 00:13:17,885
DO NOT WEEP, CHILD.
294
00:13:17,887 --> 00:13:19,887
OH, I AM SORRY, RENE,
295
00:13:19,889 --> 00:13:22,056
BUT I AM SO WORRIED
ABOUT MAMMA.
296
00:13:22,058 --> 00:13:24,058
SHE IS DEFINITELY
OFF HER FOOD.
297
00:13:24,060 --> 00:13:26,760
SHE SPAT THE SOUP
RIGHT BACK OUT OF THE HOLE.
298
00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:29,262
I TOLD YOU
NOT TO DO THAT.
299
00:13:29,264 --> 00:13:32,432
WELL, NEVER MIND,
OFFICER CRABTREE
BROUGHT THE DYNAMITE.
300
00:13:32,434 --> 00:13:34,501
OH, THANK HEAVENS.
WE MUST HURRY.
301
00:13:34,503 --> 00:13:36,603
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE
IS ALREADY LATE
302
00:13:36,605 --> 00:13:37,637
FOR AN EMBALMING.
303
00:13:37,639 --> 00:13:40,407
WELL, I'M SURE
THEY WILL WAIT.
304
00:13:45,613 --> 00:13:47,081
FILTHY.
305
00:13:47,083 --> 00:13:50,417
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO FIRE
THOSE TWO CLEANING LADIES.
306
00:13:51,485 --> 00:13:52,953
- RENE.
- HUH?
307
00:13:52,955 --> 00:13:55,189
DO YOU THINK
I SHOULD WARN MAMMA
ABOUT THE BIG BANG?
308
00:13:55,191 --> 00:13:57,791
NO, LET IT COME
AS A SURPRISE.
309
00:14:00,729 --> 00:14:02,896
GOOD.
THE COAST IS CLEAR.
310
00:14:02,898 --> 00:14:04,198
WE WILL
SNEAK UPSTAIRS
311
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,999
AND INTERROGATE
THE OLD COUPLE
312
00:14:06,001 --> 00:14:07,801
WITHOUT BEING SEEN.
313
00:14:10,471 --> 00:14:13,173
MAKE NO NOISE
WITH YOUR STICK,
VON SMALLHAUSEN.
314
00:14:13,175 --> 00:14:15,242
YES, HERR FLICK.
315
00:14:17,812 --> 00:14:20,914
( stomping )
316
00:14:27,021 --> 00:14:28,989
I HAVE LIT THE FUSES.
317
00:14:28,991 --> 00:14:30,357
THERE SHOULD BE
JUST ENOUGH
318
00:14:30,359 --> 00:14:31,658
TO BLOW OFF THE HINGES.
319
00:14:31,660 --> 00:14:33,360
DID YOU WARN
YOUR MOTHER?
320
00:14:33,362 --> 00:14:34,995
NO, I DID NOT
WANT HER TO WORRY.
321
00:14:37,899 --> 00:14:39,399
WE WISH TO INTERROGATE
322
00:14:39,401 --> 00:14:41,101
MADAME FANNY
AND THE PIANO PLAYER.
323
00:14:41,103 --> 00:14:42,669
IS THIS THEIR ROOM?
324
00:14:42,671 --> 00:14:43,937
YOU CANNOT GO IN THERE.
325
00:14:43,939 --> 00:14:47,007
THE GESTAPO CAN GO ANYWHERE.
326
00:14:47,009 --> 00:14:49,109
THERE HAS BEEN
A SEVERE GAS LEAK.
327
00:14:49,111 --> 00:14:50,811
IT IS VERY DANGEROUS.
328
00:14:50,813 --> 00:14:53,613
I CANNOT SMELL ANYTHING.
329
00:14:53,615 --> 00:14:56,950
VON SMALLHAUSEN,
YOU ARE NEARER
TO THE GROUND.
330
00:14:56,952 --> 00:14:59,319
DOES YOUR BIG PROBOSCIS
SMELL ANYTHING?
331
00:14:59,321 --> 00:15:02,622
APART FROM A HINT
OF CHEESE,
332
00:15:02,624 --> 00:15:04,258
NOTHING.
333
00:15:04,260 --> 00:15:06,526
THEN FOLLOW ME.
334
00:15:10,298 --> 00:15:12,332
( explosion )
335
00:15:14,903 --> 00:15:17,004
MAMMA,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
336
00:15:17,006 --> 00:15:18,972
ERNEST,
337
00:15:20,641 --> 00:15:22,976
WAS I DREAMING
338
00:15:22,978 --> 00:15:27,147
OR WAS THERE
AN ALMIGHTY BANG?
339
00:15:27,149 --> 00:15:30,750
IT WAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH ME.
340
00:15:30,752 --> 00:15:33,753
MY GOD,
THE GESTAPO HAVE BEEN
BLOWN TO LITTLE PIECES.
341
00:15:33,755 --> 00:15:35,289
THEY WERE UNDER THE BED.
342
00:15:35,291 --> 00:15:38,625
YOU WISH TO INTERROGATE
MY MAMMA AND MONSIEUR LECLERC?
343
00:15:38,627 --> 00:15:40,560
WELL, HERE THEY ARE.
344
00:15:40,562 --> 00:15:43,797
WE WILL COME BACK
WHEN OUR HEADACHES ARE BETTER.
345
00:15:45,566 --> 00:15:48,602
GENERAL VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN
HAS BECOME A LIABILITY.
346
00:15:48,604 --> 00:15:51,805
THIS CRACKPOT PLAN
TO KIDNAP CHURCHILL
347
00:15:51,807 --> 00:15:53,807
WILL GET US
INTO SERIOUS TROUBLE.
348
00:15:53,809 --> 00:15:55,809
WE COULD ALL BE
COURT-MARTIALED.
349
00:15:55,811 --> 00:15:58,078
AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER
MAY BE SHOT BY THE BRITISH.
350
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,414
WHICH WOULD BE
MOST DISTRESSING.
351
00:16:01,449 --> 00:16:02,782
WE MUST GET
INTO THE HOSPITAL,
352
00:16:02,784 --> 00:16:04,218
SEE VON KLINKERHOFFEN
353
00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:06,453
AND ALERT HIM
TO THE SITUATION.
354
00:16:06,455 --> 00:16:08,288
BUT HE IS ROUND
THE TWIST.
355
00:16:08,290 --> 00:16:12,092
FOR A GERMAN GENERAL
THAT IS NOT UNUSUAL.
356
00:16:13,294 --> 00:16:14,961
AND LESS
ROUND THE TWIST
357
00:16:14,963 --> 00:16:17,163
IS BETTER THAN
RIGHT ROUND THE TWIST.
358
00:16:18,266 --> 00:16:19,866
IF WE CAN GET TO HIM,
359
00:16:19,868 --> 00:16:21,635
HE CAN USE HIS
INFLUENCE IN BERLIN
360
00:16:21,637 --> 00:16:23,503
TO HAVE VON
FLOCKENSTUFFEN REMOVED,
361
00:16:23,505 --> 00:16:26,072
AND THIS MAD PLAN
ABORTED.
362
00:16:26,074 --> 00:16:28,908
BUT NO ONE CAN SEE
GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN.
363
00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:32,246
THE PSYCHIATRIC WING
HAS BEEN PLACED
OUT OF BOUNDS.
364
00:16:32,248 --> 00:16:34,681
WE MUST FIND A WAY
OF GETTING IN.
365
00:16:34,683 --> 00:16:36,683
MAY I SUGGEST,
TO THIS END
366
00:16:36,685 --> 00:16:38,619
THAT YOU ARRANGE
FOR A LITTLE ENTERTAINMENT
367
00:16:38,621 --> 00:16:39,953
AT CAFE RENE TONIGHT,
368
00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:41,688
TO KEEP GENERAL
VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN
369
00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:42,723
OUT OF THE WAY,
370
00:16:42,725 --> 00:16:44,691
WHILE I DISGUISE MYSELF
AS A NURSE
371
00:16:44,693 --> 00:16:46,159
AND GO TO THE HOSPITAL?
372
00:16:46,161 --> 00:16:47,894
ON WHAT PRETEXT?
373
00:16:47,896 --> 00:16:49,863
I WILL TAKE CAPTAIN
BERTORELLI WITH ME,
374
00:16:49,865 --> 00:16:51,498
WHO WILL PRETEND
TO BE A PATIENT
375
00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,267
IN NEED
OF PSYCHIATRIC HELP,
376
00:16:53,269 --> 00:16:55,235
AND TOGETHER
WE WILL GAIN ACCESS
377
00:16:55,237 --> 00:16:56,970
TO THE GENERAL'S ROOM.
378
00:16:56,972 --> 00:17:00,574
I WAS GOING TO SUGGEST
SOMETHING LIKE THAT MYSELF.
379
00:17:00,576 --> 00:17:01,975
WAIT A MINUTE.
380
00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:04,511
WHY I HAVE TO PLAY
THE FRUITCAKE?
381
00:17:07,014 --> 00:17:08,948
YOU WILL BE
THE MOST BELIEVABLE.
382
00:17:10,084 --> 00:17:11,818
I DON'T THINK
I LIKE THIS PLAN.
383
00:17:11,820 --> 00:17:13,587
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE ME
TO RECOMMEND YOU
384
00:17:13,589 --> 00:17:16,156
FOR THE DEATH OR GLORY
SUICIDE SQUAD?
385
00:17:16,158 --> 00:17:18,592
YOU'VE CONVINCED ME.
386
00:17:18,594 --> 00:17:21,561
ALREADY I CAN FEEL
A FIT COMING ON.
387
00:17:24,766 --> 00:17:27,000
HOW NICE
TO SEE YOU ALL.
388
00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,835
SIT OVER HERE, PLEASE.
THANK YOU.
389
00:17:30,438 --> 00:17:32,572
I HAVE ARRANGED
THE ENTERTAINMENT
390
00:17:32,574 --> 00:17:33,973
YOU REQUESTED,
COLONEL.
391
00:17:33,975 --> 00:17:35,241
GET ON WITH IT, RENE.
392
00:17:35,243 --> 00:17:36,343
YES, OF COURSE.
393
00:17:38,446 --> 00:17:39,746
( claps )
394
00:17:39,748 --> 00:17:42,081
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE.
395
00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:44,685
IT IS CABARET TIME
AT CAFE RENE.
396
00:17:44,687 --> 00:17:46,320
AND THE FIRST ITEM
ON THE BILL,
397
00:17:46,322 --> 00:17:49,055
MY WIFE EDITH,
MADAME EDITH,
398
00:17:49,057 --> 00:17:51,658
WILL SING FOR YOU
A SONG SHE HAS PREPARED.
399
00:17:57,432 --> 00:17:58,932
SPLENDID.
400
00:17:58,934 --> 00:18:00,600
WHAT IS
THE CHEESE FOR?
401
00:18:00,602 --> 00:18:03,337
TO STUFF IN YOUR EARS.
402
00:18:03,339 --> 00:18:05,405
SURELY THAT IS
NOT NECESSARY?
403
00:18:05,407 --> 00:18:07,307
IT IS OPTIONAL.
404
00:18:19,086 --> 00:18:22,689
♪ I LOVE THE MUSIC
FROM BRAZIL ♪
405
00:18:22,691 --> 00:18:25,992
♪ IT ALWAYS GIVES ME
SUCH A THRILL ♪
406
00:18:25,994 --> 00:18:29,663
♪ IT SAYS SO MANY THINGS
IN DIFFERENT WAYS ♪
407
00:18:32,533 --> 00:18:37,404
♪ AND EVERY TIME
IT PLAYS ♪
408
00:18:37,406 --> 00:18:41,040
♪ SHE BURSTS OUT
OF HER STAYS ♪
409
00:18:42,777 --> 00:18:44,478
♪ IT DRIVES ME
CRACKERS ♪
410
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:45,846
♪ AND I CAN'T
HELP MYSELF ♪
411
00:18:45,848 --> 00:18:46,980
♪ I MUST ♪
412
00:18:46,982 --> 00:18:49,015
♪ PLAY THE MARACAS ♪
413
00:18:52,987 --> 00:18:54,554
♪ IT DRIVES ME
CRACKERS ♪
414
00:18:54,556 --> 00:18:55,989
♪ AND I CAN'T
HELP MYSELF ♪
415
00:18:55,991 --> 00:18:57,858
♪ I MUST, I MUST,
I MUST ♪
416
00:18:57,860 --> 00:19:00,960
♪ PLAY MY MARACAS ♪
417
00:19:03,631 --> 00:19:04,765
- OLE!
- OLE!
418
00:19:08,703 --> 00:19:12,005
EVERYWHERE
BLUEBOTTLEY, HA.
419
00:19:12,007 --> 00:19:13,407
BLUEBOTTLEY--
420
00:19:13,409 --> 00:19:14,974
TOTALLY ROUND
THE BEND.
421
00:19:14,976 --> 00:19:16,976
BLUEBOTTLEY, HA!
422
00:19:20,515 --> 00:19:23,016
♪ AND SO I DRIVE THE BOYS
ALL MAD AT NIGHT ♪
423
00:19:23,018 --> 00:19:25,118
♪ AND THEY GO ♪
424
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,486
♪ CRACKERS ♪
425
00:19:26,488 --> 00:19:30,056
♪ FOR MY MARACAS. ♪
426
00:19:32,727 --> 00:19:33,760
- OLE!
- OLE!
427
00:19:34,796 --> 00:19:37,130
( little applause )
428
00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:38,632
HAS SHE FINISHED YET?
429
00:19:38,634 --> 00:19:39,933
I THINK SO.
430
00:19:39,935 --> 00:19:41,501
THANK GOD FOR THAT.
431
00:19:41,503 --> 00:19:43,804
WOULD YOU LIKE
ANOTHER SONG,
HERR GENERAL?
432
00:19:45,072 --> 00:19:47,273
THEY ARE NOT
MASOCHISTS, EDITH.
433
00:19:47,275 --> 00:19:50,143
I COULD SING YOU
A TRAGIC SONG.
434
00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:52,479
YOU JUST DID.
435
00:19:52,481 --> 00:19:54,280
WHAT DID
THE GENERAL THINK?
436
00:19:54,282 --> 00:19:56,450
I'M SURE YOU HAVE
NEVER BEEN BETTER, DARLING.
437
00:19:56,452 --> 00:19:58,885
IN FACT, YOUR VOICE
REMINDS ME OF MY BOYHOOD
438
00:19:58,887 --> 00:20:00,353
ON A FARM IN BAVARIA.
439
00:20:00,355 --> 00:20:03,022
OH, YOU MEAN LIKE
THE GOLDEN MAIDENS
440
00:20:03,024 --> 00:20:05,425
WHO SING IN
THE CORNFIELDS?
441
00:20:05,427 --> 00:20:06,893
NO, THE THRESHING MACHINE.
442
00:20:09,664 --> 00:20:12,131
I SHALL NOT SING AGAIN
THIS NIGHT!
443
00:20:12,133 --> 00:20:14,167
WHAT'S NEXT
ON THE CABARET, RENE?
444
00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:16,402
WE HAVE JUST LOST IT.
445
00:20:16,404 --> 00:20:18,939
IN THAT CASE,
I SHALL BE OFF TO SEE
446
00:20:18,941 --> 00:20:20,707
HOW POOR OLD
PIGGY'S GETTING ON.
447
00:20:20,709 --> 00:20:22,342
OH, DON'T GO, GENERAL.
448
00:20:22,344 --> 00:20:24,344
GRUBER,
PLAY FOR THE GENERAL.
449
00:20:24,346 --> 00:20:26,145
HE'D LIKE THAT.
450
00:20:26,147 --> 00:20:27,647
OH, YOU PLAY,
LIEUTENANT?
451
00:20:27,649 --> 00:20:29,315
ONLY NOW AND THEN.
452
00:20:29,317 --> 00:20:31,585
YOU REALLY ARE
A TALENTED FELLOW.
453
00:20:31,587 --> 00:20:33,419
SHOW ME
WHAT YOU CAN DO.
454
00:20:33,421 --> 00:20:35,789
RENE, LIEUTENANT GRUBER
WOULD LIKE TO PLAY.
455
00:20:35,791 --> 00:20:37,323
OF COURSE, COLONEL, YES.
456
00:20:41,095 --> 00:20:43,429
Gruber:
YOU WILL LIKE
THIS ONE, RENE.
457
00:20:43,431 --> 00:20:46,800
IT IS VERY APPROPRIATE
FOR THE CAFE.
458
00:20:46,802 --> 00:20:48,434
( plays piano intro )
459
00:20:48,436 --> 00:20:51,437
♪ SEE WHAT THE BOYS ♪
460
00:20:51,439 --> 00:20:54,340
♪ IN THE BACK ROOM
WILL HAVE ♪
461
00:20:54,342 --> 00:20:57,377
♪ AND TELL THEM
I'M HAVING THE SAME ♪
462
00:20:58,846 --> 00:21:02,281
♪ GO SEE WHAT THE BOYS
IN THE BACK ROOM WILL HAVE ♪
463
00:21:02,283 --> 00:21:05,351
♪ AND GIVE THEM
THE POISON THEY NAME ♪
464
00:21:05,353 --> 00:21:07,420
♪ AND WHEN I DIE ♪
465
00:21:07,422 --> 00:21:09,556
♪ DON'T SPEND MY MONEY ♪
466
00:21:09,558 --> 00:21:13,192
♪ ON FLOWERS
AND MY PICTURE IN A FRAME ♪
467
00:21:13,194 --> 00:21:16,863
Everyone:
♪ JUST SEE WHAT THE BOYS ♪
468
00:21:16,865 --> 00:21:18,932
♪ IN THE BACK ROOM
WILL HAVE ♪
469
00:21:18,934 --> 00:21:21,968
♪ AND TELL THEM I SIGHED ♪
470
00:21:21,970 --> 00:21:24,404
♪ AND TELL THEM I CRIED ♪
471
00:21:24,406 --> 00:21:25,438
♪ CRIED ♪
472
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,307
♪ AND TELL THEM I DIED-- ♪
473
00:21:28,309 --> 00:21:30,544
♪ OF THE SAME. ♪
474
00:21:30,546 --> 00:21:33,046
BRAVO!
475
00:21:33,048 --> 00:21:35,715
All: BRAVO!
Colonel: BRAVO, GRUBER!
476
00:21:39,353 --> 00:21:41,220
Bertorelli:
BLUEBOTTLEY, BLUEBOTTLEY,
477
00:21:41,222 --> 00:21:43,189
EVERYWHERE BLUEBOTTLEY.
478
00:21:43,191 --> 00:21:44,724
IT IS I, HELGA.
479
00:21:44,726 --> 00:21:46,626
HELGA, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
480
00:21:46,628 --> 00:21:48,361
WHAT IS
CAPTAIN BERTORELLI DOING?
481
00:21:48,363 --> 00:21:50,997
YOU CAN STOP
ACTING NOW!
482
00:21:50,999 --> 00:21:53,600
I GET CARRIED AWAY
WITH THE PART.
483
00:21:55,703 --> 00:21:58,204
MY PHONE'S BEEN CUT OFF.
I AM A PRISONER HERE.
484
00:21:58,206 --> 00:22:00,006
HEADS WILL ROLL
FOR THIS.
485
00:22:00,008 --> 00:22:02,008
WE ARE GOING TO TRY
TO GET YOU RELEASED,
GENERAL.
486
00:22:02,010 --> 00:22:03,844
BUT FIRST WE NEED
THE PHONE NUMBERS
487
00:22:03,846 --> 00:22:05,612
OF YOUR POWERFUL
FRIENDS IN BERLIN,
488
00:22:05,614 --> 00:22:07,681
TO OVERRIDE GENERAL
VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN'S
ORDERS.
489
00:22:07,683 --> 00:22:09,148
WHAT ORDERS?
490
00:22:09,150 --> 00:22:12,218
HE AND GENERAL VON BRATWURSTEN
ARE PLANNING TO FLY TO ENGLAND
491
00:22:12,220 --> 00:22:14,187
TO SNATCH CHURCHILL,
492
00:22:14,189 --> 00:22:16,756
WHILE HE'S DOING
A PAINTING IN THE BOGNOR.
493
00:22:18,425 --> 00:22:19,960
FOOLS!
494
00:22:19,962 --> 00:22:22,662
OUR INVASION PLANS ARE IMMINENT.
THEY COULD BE JEOPARDIZED.
495
00:22:22,664 --> 00:22:24,364
VON BRATWURSTEN
IS A HOTHEAD,
496
00:22:24,366 --> 00:22:26,065
AND VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN
IS AN IDIOT.
497
00:22:26,067 --> 00:22:28,101
YOU MUST GET ME
OUT OF HERE NOW!
498
00:22:28,103 --> 00:22:29,836
I MUST PHONE BERLIN
PERSONALLY.
499
00:22:29,838 --> 00:22:31,905
AND THEN I WILL DEAL
WITH VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN.
500
00:22:31,907 --> 00:22:33,339
BUT HOW?
501
00:22:33,341 --> 00:22:35,308
HIS TROOPS HAVE THE ORDERS
TO KEEP YOU HERE.
502
00:22:36,744 --> 00:22:38,478
ARE MY MEN STILL
AT THE CHATEAU?
503
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,313
YES, GENERAL.
504
00:22:40,315 --> 00:22:41,581
HMM...
505
00:22:41,583 --> 00:22:43,583
THE WINDOWS ARE BARRED.
506
00:22:43,585 --> 00:22:45,752
WE MUST GO OUT
THE WAY YOU CAME IN.
507
00:22:45,754 --> 00:22:47,153
GET OFF YOUR UNIFORM.
508
00:22:47,155 --> 00:22:49,155
- YES, GENERAL.
- ( Bertorelli leers )
509
00:22:49,157 --> 00:22:50,957
NO, NOT YOU, HELGA.
YOU, BERTORELLI.
510
00:22:50,959 --> 00:22:52,926
- HELGA, YOU CAN HELP ME.
- BUT, GENERAL--
511
00:22:52,928 --> 00:22:54,594
DO AS I SAY!
512
00:22:58,666 --> 00:23:01,267
I CHANGE
BEHIND THE SCREEN.
513
00:23:01,269 --> 00:23:03,336
YOU COULD BE A CORPORAL
AGAIN FOR THIS.
514
00:23:03,338 --> 00:23:05,805
THANK YOU, GENERAL.
BUT WHAT IS YOUR PLAN?
515
00:23:05,807 --> 00:23:07,007
HURRY UP!
516
00:23:08,910 --> 00:23:12,311
YOU PUSHED AN IDIOT IN.
YOU'RE GOING TO WHEEL ONE OUT.
517
00:23:12,313 --> 00:23:14,080
AND WHAT ABOUT ME?
518
00:23:14,082 --> 00:23:16,382
WHEN I'M BACK IN COMMAND,
YOU'LL BE RELEASED.
519
00:23:19,253 --> 00:23:21,387
WHAT IF YOU HAVE
THE SLIP UP?
520
00:23:21,389 --> 00:23:23,890
THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO PROVE
THAT YOU'RE NOT MAD.
521
00:23:23,892 --> 00:23:26,793
I COULD BE HERE
A LONG TIME.
522
00:23:26,795 --> 00:23:28,562
YOU THERE,
523
00:23:28,564 --> 00:23:30,329
MORE WINE!
524
00:23:30,331 --> 00:23:32,766
GENERAL, DON'T YOU THINK
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH?
525
00:23:32,768 --> 00:23:34,935
NO, WHEN I WAS
IN THE CONDOR LEGION,
526
00:23:34,937 --> 00:23:37,303
I COULD DRINK
10 MEN OFF THE TABLE.
527
00:23:37,305 --> 00:23:39,205
AND THEY WERE REAL MEN.
528
00:23:39,207 --> 00:23:40,941
HOW YOU MUST
MISS THOSE DAYS.
529
00:23:44,378 --> 00:23:45,912
PERHAPS THE GENERAL
WOULD LIKE TO PAY
530
00:23:45,914 --> 00:23:47,246
FOR THE OTHER
BOTTLES NOW?
531
00:23:47,248 --> 00:23:49,049
PUT IT ON THE SLATE,
SWEETIE.
532
00:23:49,051 --> 00:23:50,684
I'LL PAY
FOR IT LATER.
533
00:23:50,686 --> 00:23:53,753
- HOW MUCH LATER?
- WHEN THE WAR IS OVER.
534
00:23:53,755 --> 00:23:56,590
I WILL ORDER SOME
NEW SLATES TOMORROW.
535
00:23:57,825 --> 00:24:00,026
DON'T FORGET ME,
PLEASE.
536
00:24:00,028 --> 00:24:01,728
I GET ANOTHER MEDAL, YES?
537
00:24:01,730 --> 00:24:03,964
YOU'RE HARDLY GOING
TO GET THE IRON CROSS
538
00:24:03,966 --> 00:24:05,899
JUST FOR LENDING ME
YOUR UNIFORM.
539
00:24:05,901 --> 00:24:07,634
QUICK,
PRIVATE GEERHART,
540
00:24:07,636 --> 00:24:09,268
TO MY HEADQUARTERS.
541
00:24:09,270 --> 00:24:12,405
AND THEN WE WILL DEAL
WITH VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN.
542
00:24:12,407 --> 00:24:15,374
BLUEBOTTLEY,
BLUEBOTTLEY,
543
00:24:15,376 --> 00:24:18,311
EVERYWHERE
THERE'S BLUEBOTTLIES.
544
00:24:25,620 --> 00:24:28,255
MORE WINE!
MORE WINE.
545
00:24:28,257 --> 00:24:30,089
THAT GENERAL IS GOING
TO BANKRUPT US
546
00:24:30,091 --> 00:24:31,725
IF HE COMES HERE
MUCH MORE OFTEN.
547
00:24:31,727 --> 00:24:33,460
I DO NOT LIKE HIM, RENE.
548
00:24:33,462 --> 00:24:35,428
HE HAS MEAN LITTLE EYES,
549
00:24:35,430 --> 00:24:37,631
AND HE IS CLEARLY
TONE DEAF.
550
00:24:41,569 --> 00:24:42,969
WELL, YOU SHOULD KNOW.
551
00:24:45,205 --> 00:24:47,574
YOU KNOW,
THIS WINE IS NO GOOD.
552
00:24:47,576 --> 00:24:49,776
YOU THERE, PEASANT,
COME HERE.
553
00:24:49,778 --> 00:24:51,978
THIS PEASANT,
OR THIS PEASANT?
554
00:24:51,980 --> 00:24:53,713
THE ONE WITH THE MUSTACHE.
555
00:24:57,351 --> 00:24:58,518
GENERAL?
556
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,487
DO YOU KNOW, I WOULD
NOT BE SURPRISED
557
00:25:00,489 --> 00:25:02,455
IF YOU'RE HIDING
YOUR BEST WINES FROM US?
558
00:25:02,457 --> 00:25:04,291
YES, SO WHERE
IS YOUR WINE CELLAR?
559
00:25:04,293 --> 00:25:05,858
I WISH TO SEE
FOR MYSELF.
560
00:25:05,860 --> 00:25:07,494
I ASSURE YOU, GENERAL,
I HAVE GIVEN YOU
561
00:25:07,496 --> 00:25:09,329
THE FINEST WINES
THAT I POSSESS.
562
00:25:09,331 --> 00:25:10,630
SO YOU SAY.
563
00:25:10,632 --> 00:25:13,500
BUT I WILL BE
THE JUDGE OF THAT, HMM?
564
00:25:13,502 --> 00:25:15,535
OH, ALL RIGHT.
IF YOU MUST.
565
00:25:15,537 --> 00:25:18,204
IT IS THE DOOR
IN THE PASSAGE.
566
00:25:18,206 --> 00:25:19,372
BUT THERE IS NO LIGHT.
567
00:25:19,374 --> 00:25:21,841
WELL THEN,
GIVE ME A CANDLE.
568
00:25:21,843 --> 00:25:23,943
WE DO NOT HAVE ANY.
569
00:25:23,945 --> 00:25:26,346
NO? NO CANDLES?
570
00:25:26,348 --> 00:25:28,481
THEN WHAT IS THIS?
571
00:25:31,652 --> 00:25:32,786
A CANDLE, GENERAL.
572
00:25:32,788 --> 00:25:34,688
YES, IT'S A CANDLE.
573
00:25:35,823 --> 00:25:37,290
♪ SEE WHAT THE BOYS ♪
574
00:25:37,292 --> 00:25:40,126
♪ IN THE BACK ROOM
WILL HAVE... ♪
575
00:25:40,128 --> 00:25:42,696
WHY DID YOU LEAVE THEM THERE?!
THAT WAS DYNAMITE!
576
00:25:42,698 --> 00:25:45,732
HOW WAS I TO KNOW HE WAS
GOING TO ASK FOR A CANDLE?
577
00:25:46,900 --> 00:25:48,901
MOUTON CADET, EH?
578
00:25:48,903 --> 00:25:50,837
ST. JULIEN.
579
00:25:50,839 --> 00:25:53,172
LET US TAKE THE MONEY
FROM THE TILL,
580
00:25:53,174 --> 00:25:54,541
AND LEG IT
ACROSS THE FRONTIER.
581
00:25:54,543 --> 00:25:56,776
TOO LATE,
IT IS THE END.
582
00:25:56,778 --> 00:25:59,346
NO ONE WILL NOTICE US.
WE CAN SLIP OUT QUIETLY.
583
00:26:00,481 --> 00:26:03,282
WHERE IS GENERAL
VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN?
584
00:26:03,284 --> 00:26:05,752
I'M BACK IN COMMAND.
HE'S UNDER ARREST.
585
00:26:05,754 --> 00:26:07,354
IN THE CELLAR,
GENERAL.
586
00:26:07,356 --> 00:26:08,655
MAY I SAY, GENERAL,
587
00:26:08,657 --> 00:26:10,690
HOW RELIEVED WE ARE
TO SEE YOU?
588
00:26:10,692 --> 00:26:12,359
WE HOPED OUR LITTLE PLAN
WOULD WORK.
589
00:26:12,361 --> 00:26:14,060
- ( explosion )
- ( people scream )
590
00:26:15,195 --> 00:26:16,229
WHAT WAS THAT EXPLOSION?
591
00:26:17,297 --> 00:26:19,265
POSSIBLY
AN EXPLODING CORK.
592
00:26:19,267 --> 00:26:21,835
SOME OF MY CHAMPAGNE
IS VERY OLD.
593
00:26:24,772 --> 00:26:26,740
THE CANDLE EXPLODED.
594
00:26:26,742 --> 00:26:28,675
IT WAS A STICK
OF DYNAMITE.
595
00:26:28,677 --> 00:26:31,745
I AM SORRY,
I DID NOT INTEND
TO GIVE HIM DYNAMITE.
596
00:26:31,747 --> 00:26:34,213
IT WAS LEFT THERE BY
SOMEBODY I DO NOT KNOW,
597
00:26:34,215 --> 00:26:36,048
TO GIVE TO SOMEBODY
I HAD NEVER HEARD OF.
598
00:26:37,985 --> 00:26:40,152
YOU CARRIED OUT
OUR INSTRUCTIONS
599
00:26:40,154 --> 00:26:41,354
TO THE LETTER, RENE.
600
00:26:41,356 --> 00:26:44,190
YOU ARE QUITE A HERO.
601
00:26:44,192 --> 00:26:46,259
THIS MAN,
602
00:26:46,261 --> 00:26:48,561
AT GREAT PERSONAL RISK,
603
00:26:48,563 --> 00:26:51,398
GAVE THE GENERAL
AN EXPLODING CANDLE,
604
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,633
TO RENDER HIM
UNABLE TO CARRY OUT
605
00:26:53,635 --> 00:26:55,435
HIS MADCAP SCHEME,
606
00:26:55,437 --> 00:26:58,237
WHICH COULD HAVE REFLECTED
BADLY ON YOUR COMMAND.
607
00:26:58,239 --> 00:27:00,006
WHERE AM I?
608
00:27:00,008 --> 00:27:02,341
WHO ARE
ALL THESE PEOPLE?
609
00:27:02,343 --> 00:27:05,211
IS MY HEAD ON
THE RIGHT WAY ROUND?
610
00:27:06,814 --> 00:27:08,715
TAKE THE GENERAL
TO THE HOSPITAL--
611
00:27:08,717 --> 00:27:10,483
FRUITCAKE WARD--
612
00:27:10,485 --> 00:27:12,452
AND RELEASE CAPTAIN BERTORELLI.
QUICK MARCH.
613
00:27:18,492 --> 00:27:19,793
EXCELLENT WORK.
614
00:27:21,061 --> 00:27:22,462
AND YOU,
MY FINE FELLOW.
615
00:27:22,464 --> 00:27:24,964
I SHALL RECOMMEND YOU
FOR A COLLABORATION MEDAL.
616
00:27:27,802 --> 00:27:29,836
A COLLABORATION MEDAL?
617
00:27:29,838 --> 00:27:32,171
OH MY GOD, THAT IS
THE LAST THING I NEED.
618
00:27:32,173 --> 00:27:34,908
OH, RENE,
WOULD YOU LIKE ME
619
00:27:34,910 --> 00:27:36,943
TO SING YOU A SONG
TO SOOTHE YOUR NERVES?
620
00:27:38,612 --> 00:27:40,447
WELL, THEY DO SAY THAT--
621
00:27:40,449 --> 00:27:42,415
ONE PAIN CAN
CANCEL OUT ANOTHER.
622
00:27:43,517 --> 00:27:46,586
♪ FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN ♪
623
00:27:46,588 --> 00:27:48,421
♪ NEVER WANTED TO... ♪
624
00:27:50,390 --> 00:27:53,493
( theme music playing )