1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:03,780 --> 00:00:06,782 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:22,432 --> 00:00:24,099 YOU MAY WONDER WHAT I AM DOING 3 00:00:24,101 --> 00:00:26,101 IN THE BACK OF AN R.A.F. PLANE 4 00:00:26,103 --> 00:00:29,070 FLYING AT 10,000 FEET ABOVE THE ENGLISH CHANNEL, 5 00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,939 DISGUISED AS A MONK. 6 00:00:30,941 --> 00:00:33,742 THERE IS, OF COURSE, A PERFECTLY NORMAL EXPLANATION. 7 00:00:33,744 --> 00:00:36,011 I HAD TO LEAVE NOUVION IN A HURRY 8 00:00:36,013 --> 00:00:37,713 BECAUSE THE GERMANS WERE GOING TO GIVE ME 9 00:00:37,715 --> 00:00:39,581 A COLLABORATION MEDAL FOR HELPING THEM 10 00:00:39,583 --> 00:00:42,117 AND THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE WERE GOING TO HAVE ME SHOT 11 00:00:42,119 --> 00:00:43,452 IF I ACCEPTED IT. 12 00:00:43,454 --> 00:00:46,087 AS NEITHER OF THESE TWO OPTIONS APPEALED TO ME, 13 00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:49,391 MY WAITRESS, YVETTE AND I, DISGUISED OURSELVES AS MONKS 14 00:00:49,393 --> 00:00:51,960 TO TAKE THE PLACE OF THE TWO BRITISH AIRMEN, 15 00:00:51,962 --> 00:00:53,929 WHO WERE ALSO DISGUISED AS MONKS, 16 00:00:53,931 --> 00:00:55,364 TO CATCH THIS PLANE. 17 00:00:55,366 --> 00:00:57,899 AS YOU CAN SEE WE HAVE TAKEN THEIR PLACE. 18 00:00:57,901 --> 00:01:00,202 UNFORTUNATELY, THE BEST LAID PLANS 19 00:01:00,204 --> 00:01:01,470 CAN GO WRONG, 20 00:01:01,472 --> 00:01:03,605 AND THIS ONE IS, AS THEY SAY, 21 00:01:03,607 --> 00:01:05,808 A REAL TURKEY. 22 00:01:05,810 --> 00:01:08,076 FOR INSTEAD OF ENDING UP WITH MY BEAUTIFUL, 23 00:01:08,078 --> 00:01:09,945 VIBRANT, YOUNG YVETTE, 24 00:01:09,947 --> 00:01:13,081 I FOUND MYSELF WITH MY AIRSICK WIFE, EDITH. 25 00:01:13,083 --> 00:01:15,150 AND SO THE FUTURE 26 00:01:15,152 --> 00:01:17,886 IS NO LONGER AS INVITING AS IT SHOULD BE. 27 00:01:20,357 --> 00:01:22,624 HOW MUCH LONGER? 28 00:01:22,626 --> 00:01:25,594 THIS AIRPLANE IS SO BUMPY. I FEEL SICK. 29 00:01:25,596 --> 00:01:27,262 IT IS YOUR OWN FAULT, EDITH. 30 00:01:27,264 --> 00:01:28,664 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY IN NOUVION 31 00:01:28,666 --> 00:01:30,999 AND LOOK AFTER THE CAFE. 32 00:01:31,001 --> 00:01:34,236 DO NOT SCOLD ME, RENE. THE CAFE IS IN GOOD HANDS. 33 00:01:34,238 --> 00:01:35,237 WHOSE? 34 00:01:35,239 --> 00:01:37,072 MAMMA AND MONSIEUR LECLERC'S. 35 00:01:37,074 --> 00:01:40,175 OH MY GOD. THAT'S LIKE PUTTING A COUPLE OF WINOS 36 00:01:40,177 --> 00:01:42,010 IN CHARGE OF A DISTILLERY. 37 00:01:42,012 --> 00:01:44,646 MAMMA IS A VERY RESPONSIBLE PERSON. 38 00:01:44,648 --> 00:01:46,982 SHE KNOWS ALL ABOUT RUNNING A BAR. 39 00:01:46,984 --> 00:01:49,951 SHE KNOWS ALL ABOUT EMPTYING ONE. 40 00:01:49,953 --> 00:01:52,287 AND MONSIEUR LECLERC IS GOOD AT ACCOUNTS. 41 00:01:52,289 --> 00:01:53,922 HE WAS A BOOKKEEPER. 42 00:01:53,924 --> 00:01:56,525 HE WAS A BOOKMAKER. 43 00:01:56,527 --> 00:01:58,059 THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. 44 00:01:58,061 --> 00:01:59,961 HE WILL PROBABLY PUT ALL THE TAKINGS 45 00:01:59,963 --> 00:02:02,564 ON THE 2:15 AT LONGCHAMP IF HE GETS THE CHANCE. 46 00:02:02,566 --> 00:02:05,601 DO NOT WORRY, RENE, WE ARE TOGETHER, 47 00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,168 AND YOU ARE SAFE, 48 00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,571 AND WE SHALL START A NEW LIFE IN ENGLAND. 49 00:02:09,573 --> 00:02:12,107 THE ENGLISH THINK THEY ARE GETTING THE FLYING ACES. 50 00:02:12,109 --> 00:02:13,375 THEY WILL NOT BE TOO PLEASED 51 00:02:13,377 --> 00:02:14,810 WHEN THEY FIND OUT WHO WE ARE. 52 00:02:14,812 --> 00:02:17,078 BUT YOU ARE THE HERO OF THE RESISTANCE! 53 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,481 THEY SHOULD BE PROUD TO GIVE YOU SANCTUARY. 54 00:02:19,483 --> 00:02:21,583 NEVERTHELESS, I DO NOT THINK WE SHOULD MENTION THE ERROR 55 00:02:21,585 --> 00:02:23,786 UNTIL WE ARE SAFELY ON THE GROUND. 56 00:02:23,788 --> 00:02:25,587 SHH, ONE OF THEM IS COMING. 57 00:02:25,589 --> 00:02:28,690 PRETTY HAIRY TAKE OFF, WHAT! 58 00:02:28,692 --> 00:02:31,727 SO, YOU'RE CARSTAIRS AND FAIRFAX. 59 00:02:31,729 --> 00:02:34,463 I'M TIGGER THOMPSON. WHICH ONE OF YOU IS CARSTAIRS? 60 00:02:34,465 --> 00:02:36,632 FLOF FLOF FLOF FLOF. 61 00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:39,067 DAMN BRAVE CHAP. 62 00:02:39,069 --> 00:02:40,402 AND YOU MUST BE FAIRFAX. 63 00:02:41,671 --> 00:02:43,939 RAH RAH RAH RAH. 64 00:02:43,941 --> 00:02:46,708 MY GOD, FAIRFAX, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE. 65 00:02:46,710 --> 00:02:48,009 DID THEY TORTURE YOU? 66 00:02:48,011 --> 00:02:50,178 OH, RAH RAH RAH RAH. 67 00:02:50,180 --> 00:02:52,481 OH, THE SWINE. 68 00:02:52,483 --> 00:02:55,651 CARSTAIRS LOOKS GHASTLY AND POOR OLD FAIRFAX 69 00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:58,119 LOOKS ABOUT 110. WHAT'S MORE, 70 00:02:58,121 --> 00:03:01,657 HE'S WEARING LIPSTICK AND PERFUME. 71 00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:04,259 Airman #2: THEY OBVIOUSLY HAVEN'T BROKEN HIS SPIRIT THEN. 72 00:03:04,261 --> 00:03:06,428 SOON HAVE YOU BACK IN BLIGHTY, CHAPS. 73 00:03:06,430 --> 00:03:09,130 - FLOF FLOF FLOF FLOF. - RAH RAH RAH RAH. 74 00:03:09,132 --> 00:03:11,767 I AM REVITALIZED 75 00:03:11,769 --> 00:03:13,368 BY THIS JOB, ERNEST. 76 00:03:13,370 --> 00:03:15,437 I FEEL 10 YEARS YOUNGER, 77 00:03:15,439 --> 00:03:18,707 AS IF I AM FLOATING ON AIR. 78 00:03:18,709 --> 00:03:20,342 I AM NOT SURPRISED, 79 00:03:20,344 --> 00:03:22,344 YOU HAVE NEARLY EMPTIED THE BOTTLE. 80 00:03:23,446 --> 00:03:25,146 DID YOU REMEMBER TO BRING UP 81 00:03:25,148 --> 00:03:27,015 THE CRATES OF CHAMPAGNE FROM THE CELLAR 82 00:03:27,017 --> 00:03:29,150 FOR OUR CELEBRATION? 83 00:03:29,152 --> 00:03:31,019 YES, BUT WHAT ARE WE CELEBRATING? 84 00:03:31,021 --> 00:03:33,421 WELL, WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY? 85 00:03:33,423 --> 00:03:36,124 - WEDNESDAY. - THAT WILL DO. 86 00:03:37,827 --> 00:03:40,462 AH, YOU LAZY GIRLS, 87 00:03:40,464 --> 00:03:43,866 YOU HAVE MISSED A BIT HERE AND THERE, TOO. 88 00:03:43,868 --> 00:03:45,534 DO IT AGAIN. 89 00:03:45,536 --> 00:03:48,103 AND YOU WILL KEEP ON DOING IT, 90 00:03:48,105 --> 00:03:49,972 UNTIL I AM SATISFIED! 91 00:03:49,974 --> 00:03:51,573 ( huffs ) 92 00:03:51,575 --> 00:03:53,609 MADAME FANNY HAS TURNED INTO 93 00:03:53,611 --> 00:03:55,744 A RIGHT OLD TYRANT SINCE RENE LEFT. 94 00:03:55,746 --> 00:03:58,046 SHE TREATS US LIKE SLAVES. 95 00:03:58,048 --> 00:04:00,415 I ONLY HOPE HE IS SAFE IN LONDON. 96 00:04:00,417 --> 00:04:02,350 SO DO I. 97 00:04:02,352 --> 00:04:04,185 BUT NO ONE MUST KNOW HE HAS GONE THERE. 98 00:04:04,187 --> 00:04:06,822 - MY LIPS ARE SEALED. - SO ARE MINE. 99 00:04:06,824 --> 00:04:09,725 HOW I WISH I COULD HAVE GONE WITH HIM. 100 00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:11,927 I WISH THE SAME FOR ME. 101 00:04:11,929 --> 00:04:15,063 IF I HAD GONE WITH HIM, HE WOULD BE HAVING A GOOD TIME. 102 00:04:15,065 --> 00:04:17,866 HE WOULD BE HAVING AN EVEN BETTER TIME WITH ME. 103 00:04:17,868 --> 00:04:21,603 HA! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MEN? 104 00:04:21,605 --> 00:04:24,439 I AM RENOWNED FOR REFRESHING THE PARTS 105 00:04:24,441 --> 00:04:27,442 THAT OTHER WOMEN MISS. 106 00:04:27,444 --> 00:04:31,179 YOU? YOU CANNOT EVEN REACH THOSE PARTS. 107 00:04:32,181 --> 00:04:33,982 HOW DARE YOU? 108 00:04:33,984 --> 00:04:36,985 ( both shrieking ) 109 00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:39,922 STOP IT! STOP IT! 110 00:04:39,924 --> 00:04:41,924 I WILL NOT HAVE THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR 111 00:04:41,926 --> 00:04:43,559 FROM MY STAFF. 112 00:04:43,561 --> 00:04:45,226 YOUR STAFF? 113 00:04:45,228 --> 00:04:47,495 YES. I AM IN CHARGE. 114 00:04:47,497 --> 00:04:50,666 WE ANSWER ONLY TO RENE. 115 00:04:50,668 --> 00:04:53,501 RENE WILL NOT BE BACK TILL THE WAR IS OVER. 116 00:04:53,503 --> 00:04:56,738 TILL THEN YOU WILL DO AS I SAY 117 00:04:56,740 --> 00:04:59,107 OR YOU WILL BE BACK ON THE STREETS 118 00:04:59,109 --> 00:05:00,709 WHERE YOU BELONG. 119 00:05:04,547 --> 00:05:06,748 DO NOT BE CHEEKY. 120 00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:12,087 ARE THE CHAPS HERE, FARKINGTON? 121 00:05:12,089 --> 00:05:15,090 THERE'S BEEN A COCK-UP, I'M AFRAID, SIR. 122 00:05:15,092 --> 00:05:16,625 IT SEEMS OUR CHAPS PICKED UP 123 00:05:16,627 --> 00:05:18,527 THE WRONG TWO MONKS. 124 00:05:18,529 --> 00:05:19,761 WELL, ACTUALLY, 125 00:05:19,763 --> 00:05:21,696 IT'S A MONK AND A MONKESS. 126 00:05:21,698 --> 00:05:23,698 WHAT BEASTLY LUCK. 127 00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:25,367 - WHERE ARE THEY NOW? - OUTSIDE, SIR. 128 00:05:25,369 --> 00:05:27,669 LET'S SEE WHAT THEY HAVE GOT TO SAY FOR THEMSELVES. 129 00:05:28,671 --> 00:05:30,038 IN HERE. 130 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,207 THERE'S A CHAPPIE ON HIS WAY OVER FROM INTELLIGENCE 131 00:05:32,209 --> 00:05:33,475 TO DEBRIEF THEM. 132 00:05:33,477 --> 00:05:35,544 LET'S HAVE A CRACK AT THEM BEFORE HE ARRIVES. 133 00:05:35,546 --> 00:05:38,147 NOW LOOK, YOU TWO, WHAT WERE YOU DOING 134 00:05:38,149 --> 00:05:39,515 GETTING ON THAT AIRPLANE? 135 00:05:39,517 --> 00:05:40,815 WHAT DID HE SAY, RENE? 136 00:05:40,817 --> 00:05:43,084 I DO NOT SPEAK OF WORD OF THE LANGUAGE. 137 00:05:44,354 --> 00:05:46,888 BLIGHTERS DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND ENGLISH. 138 00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:48,223 HOW'S YOUR FRENCH, FARKERS? 139 00:05:48,225 --> 00:05:50,659 RUSTY, SIR, BUT I'LL GIVE IT A BASH. 140 00:05:52,762 --> 00:05:54,763 GOOD MOANING. 141 00:05:56,932 --> 00:05:59,968 WE WOULD LIK TO KNEE WOTE YOU WERE DEEING 142 00:05:59,970 --> 00:06:02,070 IN THE BICK OF THE EARCRAFT? 143 00:06:02,072 --> 00:06:03,505 OH MY GOD, 144 00:06:03,507 --> 00:06:05,874 CAN NONE OF THEM SPEAK FRENCH PROPERLY? 145 00:06:05,876 --> 00:06:07,976 I DON'T THINK HE GOT MY GIST, SIR. 146 00:06:07,978 --> 00:06:10,111 TRY AGAIN. 147 00:06:10,113 --> 00:06:12,113 ARE YOU ROLLY MINKS, 148 00:06:12,115 --> 00:06:15,517 OR ARE YOU IN DISGEESE? 149 00:06:15,519 --> 00:06:17,952 - DID YOU GET THAT, RENE? - TO ME IT SOUNDS LIKE 150 00:06:17,954 --> 00:06:19,788 THE RAVINGS OF A MAD PARROT. 151 00:06:19,790 --> 00:06:23,592 IT'S NO USE, SIR, IF ONLY MY OLD CHUM CRABTREE WERE HERE-- 152 00:06:23,594 --> 00:06:25,594 WHY, HE SPEAKS FLUENT FRENCH. 153 00:06:25,596 --> 00:06:26,995 ( intercom buzzes ) 154 00:06:26,997 --> 00:06:29,064 The interpreter from military intelligence 155 00:06:29,066 --> 00:06:31,433 - has arrived, sir. - THANK YOU, PENELOPE. 156 00:06:31,435 --> 00:06:32,434 SEND HIM IN. 157 00:06:35,672 --> 00:06:37,673 KLOP-- OOPS! 158 00:06:40,343 --> 00:06:42,411 ( in British accent ) SORRY, CHAPS, OLD HABIT. 159 00:06:42,413 --> 00:06:44,346 RATHER THROWN BY SIGHT OF OLD CHUMS. 160 00:06:44,348 --> 00:06:47,416 RENE, IT IS CAPTAIN HANS GEERING. 161 00:06:47,418 --> 00:06:49,050 I CANNOT BELIEVE MY EYES. 162 00:06:49,052 --> 00:06:52,221 - YOU KNOW THESE TWO? - CAFE CHAPPIE AND WIFE 163 00:06:52,223 --> 00:06:53,988 FROM NOUVION WHERE I WAS STATIONED. 164 00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:55,957 BE GOOD FELLOWS, GIVE ME FIVE WITH THEM. 165 00:06:55,959 --> 00:06:57,593 RIGHT, COME ON, FARKINGTON. 166 00:06:57,595 --> 00:06:59,861 LET'S HOPE THEY'VE GOT A DAMN GOOD EXPLANATION 167 00:06:59,863 --> 00:07:01,697 FOR THIS GHASTLY MESS. 168 00:07:01,699 --> 00:07:04,600 ( German accent ) RENE! OH! 169 00:07:04,602 --> 00:07:07,402 MADAME EDITH! 170 00:07:07,404 --> 00:07:10,205 OH, I HAVE A LUMP IN MY THROAT, 171 00:07:10,207 --> 00:07:11,673 AND SUDDENLY THE MEMORIES OF NOUVION 172 00:07:11,675 --> 00:07:14,443 HAVE FLOODED BACK. OH, I MUST SIT DOWN. 173 00:07:14,445 --> 00:07:15,677 ( blows nose ) 174 00:07:15,679 --> 00:07:18,980 CAPTAIN GEERING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THAT UNIFORM? 175 00:07:18,982 --> 00:07:21,483 ARE YOU SPYING FOR THE GERMANS? 176 00:07:21,485 --> 00:07:23,252 YOU CANNOT ASK QUESTIONS LIKE THAT, EDITH. 177 00:07:23,254 --> 00:07:25,053 WHAT IF SOMEBODY IS LISTENING AT THE KEYHOLE? 178 00:07:25,055 --> 00:07:27,556 OF COURSE, HOW FOOLISH OF ME. 179 00:07:27,558 --> 00:07:30,225 IF YOU ARE, JUST WINK. 180 00:07:30,227 --> 00:07:32,827 NO, I HAVE BECOME A NEUTRALIZED ENGLISHMAN. 181 00:07:32,829 --> 00:07:35,264 OH, YOU POOR MAN. 182 00:07:36,266 --> 00:07:38,467 WAS IT PAINFUL? 183 00:07:38,469 --> 00:07:40,469 HE MEANS HE IS NOW ONE OF THEM. 184 00:07:40,471 --> 00:07:42,904 WELL, AFTER THAT I AM NOT SURPRISED. 185 00:07:44,474 --> 00:07:45,840 RENE IS CORRECT. 186 00:07:45,842 --> 00:07:48,443 I AM NOW A CITIZEN OF THE ENGLISH, 187 00:07:48,445 --> 00:07:51,045 AND AM WORKING FOR THEM AS AN OFFICER IN INTELLIGENCE. 188 00:07:51,047 --> 00:07:53,014 ( chuckles ) 189 00:07:53,016 --> 00:07:54,716 WOULDN'T THE COLONEL BE SURPRISED? 190 00:07:54,718 --> 00:07:56,518 HE WOULD BE AMAZED! 191 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,620 THE LAST WE HEARD OF YOU WAS ON THE RADIO 192 00:07:58,622 --> 00:08:01,256 WHEN THE RESISTANCE SPIRITED YOU AWAY TO ENGLAND. 193 00:08:01,258 --> 00:08:03,625 A LOT OF WARM BEER HAS FLOWED 194 00:08:03,627 --> 00:08:05,394 UNDER MY BRIDGE SINCE THEN. 195 00:08:05,396 --> 00:08:07,262 I SPENT THREE MONTHS BEING BRAINWASHED 196 00:08:07,264 --> 00:08:09,298 BY THEIR BEST MEN, BURGESS AND MACLEAN. 197 00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:11,900 SO YOU SWAPPED SIDES? 198 00:08:11,902 --> 00:08:14,503 WELL, I DID NOT FANCY A PRISON CAMP, 199 00:08:14,505 --> 00:08:16,971 NOT AFTER THE OTHER ONE I ACCIDENTALLY FOUND MYSELF IN WITH YOU. 200 00:08:16,973 --> 00:08:19,675 SWAPPING SIDES IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. 201 00:08:19,677 --> 00:08:22,544 I AM NOT ASHAMED. I GET FIVE POUNDS PER WEEK, 202 00:08:22,546 --> 00:08:25,013 FREE LODGINGS AND A ONE-WAY TICKET TO SOUTH AMERICA 203 00:08:25,015 --> 00:08:27,516 IF MY LOT GET AS FAR AS MARBLE ARCH. 204 00:08:27,518 --> 00:08:29,818 COULD YOU, IN YOUR EXALTED POSITION, 205 00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:31,986 PUT IN A GOOD WORD FOR US, CAPTAIN GEERING? 206 00:08:31,988 --> 00:08:34,189 I DO NOT HAVE TO. 207 00:08:34,191 --> 00:08:37,459 BEING IN INTELLIGENCE, I KNOW WHAT I ALWAYS SUSPECTED. 208 00:08:37,461 --> 00:08:41,463 YOU ARE NIGHTHAWK, HERO OF THE RESISTANCE. 209 00:08:41,465 --> 00:08:43,164 I MUST SAY YOU HAD ME COMPLETELY FOOLED. 210 00:08:43,166 --> 00:08:45,900 I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST A BUMBLING OLD PEASANT. 211 00:08:45,902 --> 00:08:47,436 THANK YOU. 212 00:08:47,438 --> 00:08:49,871 AND YOU WERE DOING IT RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES. 213 00:08:49,873 --> 00:08:51,807 WHAT FOOLS YOU MADE OF THE COLONEL 214 00:08:51,809 --> 00:08:54,776 - AND THE REST OF US! - OH, PLEASE DO NOT BE CROSS. 215 00:08:54,778 --> 00:08:56,812 WE WERE UNWILLING PAWNS OF FATE. 216 00:08:56,814 --> 00:08:59,914 OVER HERE YOU ARE HEROES. I AM SORRY WE WILL NOT BE ABLE 217 00:08:59,916 --> 00:09:01,783 TO SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER BEFORE YOU GO BACK. 218 00:09:01,785 --> 00:09:03,618 GO BACK? OH NO, WE CANNOT GO BACK. 219 00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:05,420 NO, IT IS OUT OF THE QUESTION! 220 00:09:05,422 --> 00:09:07,689 WE SHOULD BE SHOT AS COLLABORATORS... 221 00:09:07,691 --> 00:09:09,324 OR HE WILL. 222 00:09:09,326 --> 00:09:12,728 WE WILL CONTACT THE RESISTANCE AND STRAIGHTEN THINGS OUT. 223 00:09:12,730 --> 00:09:14,963 DO NOT WORRY, YOU ARE WITH FRIENDS. 224 00:09:14,965 --> 00:09:17,566 NOW PLEASE SIT ON THE CHAIRS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DESK 225 00:09:17,568 --> 00:09:19,868 WHILE I DO MY STUFF. 226 00:09:19,870 --> 00:09:21,035 ( clearing throat ) 227 00:09:22,438 --> 00:09:24,005 NOW, TELL-- OH! 228 00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:27,041 TELL ME IN EVERY DETAIL WHAT HAPPENED 229 00:09:27,043 --> 00:09:28,710 AND HOW YOU GOT HERE, LEAVING OUT NOTHING. 230 00:09:28,712 --> 00:09:30,479 NEVER TAKING YOUR EYES OFF MINE FOR A SECOND 231 00:09:30,481 --> 00:09:32,614 SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THAT EVERY WORD YOU TELL ME IS THE TRUTH. 232 00:09:32,616 --> 00:09:33,948 WELL, UH... 233 00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:35,950 AS ONE FRIEND TO ANOTHER, 234 00:09:35,952 --> 00:09:38,353 IT IS LIKE THIS... IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 235 00:09:38,355 --> 00:09:39,988 LIAR! 236 00:09:39,990 --> 00:09:41,590 HOW AM I DOING SO FAR? 237 00:09:41,592 --> 00:09:44,158 YOU'VE GOT MY ADRENALINE GOING. 238 00:09:45,227 --> 00:09:46,728 Older man: TELL INTELLIGENCE 239 00:09:46,730 --> 00:09:48,563 I WOULD LIKE TO MEET THIS FRENCHMAN 240 00:09:48,565 --> 00:09:50,532 WHO SAVED MY BACON. 241 00:09:50,534 --> 00:09:52,967 HE MUST BE A REMARKABLE MAN INDEED, 242 00:09:52,969 --> 00:09:55,069 AND REMARKABLE MEN 243 00:09:55,071 --> 00:09:56,371 SHOULD GET TOGETHER 244 00:09:56,373 --> 00:09:59,007 TO DISCUSS THE REMARKABLE THINGS 245 00:09:59,009 --> 00:10:03,011 THAT ARE HAPPENING IN THESE REMARKABLE TIMES. 246 00:10:05,481 --> 00:10:07,749 I AM SORRY I HAD TO SOUND SEVERE. 247 00:10:07,751 --> 00:10:09,451 IT'S ALL PART OF THE JOB AND YOU NEVER KNOW 248 00:10:09,453 --> 00:10:11,420 WHO IS LISTENING AT THE KEYHOLE. 249 00:10:11,422 --> 00:10:13,789 TEA FOR THREE, AND DON'T BE MINGY WITH THE BISCUITS. 250 00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:17,191 I SAY, ARE YOU GETTING ANYWHERE, CAPTAIN? 251 00:10:17,193 --> 00:10:18,593 - ABSOLUTELY, OLD BEAN. - WHAT HAPPENED? 252 00:10:18,595 --> 00:10:21,630 IT SEEMS THERE WAS A JOLLY OLD COCK-UP FROG SIDE. 253 00:10:21,632 --> 00:10:24,198 THE OLD CRATE CAME DOWN BANG IN THE JOLLY OLD FIELD, 254 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,967 BUT THE DASHED AIRMEN HAD GONE A.W.O.L. 255 00:10:25,969 --> 00:10:28,169 THESE TWO CAME TO TELL OUR CHAPS AND GOT DRAGGED ON BOARD. 256 00:10:28,171 --> 00:10:31,606 SO THAT EXPLAINS IT. WELL THEN, WHO ARE THESE TWO MONKEY PEOPLE? 257 00:10:31,608 --> 00:10:33,575 SEEMS HE'S NIGHTHAWK. 258 00:10:33,577 --> 00:10:34,843 KEY RESISTANCE JOHNNY IN FRANCE. 259 00:10:34,845 --> 00:10:37,913 I SAY, LET ME SHAKE YOUR HAND, OLD CHAP. 260 00:10:37,915 --> 00:10:39,781 DAMN BRAVE, WHAT. 261 00:10:39,783 --> 00:10:41,282 WHAT'S HE SAYING, RENE? 262 00:10:41,284 --> 00:10:43,785 I EXPECT HE IS SAYING HOW DAMN BRAVE I AM. 263 00:10:46,221 --> 00:10:49,090 P.M. WANTS TO SEE HIM AT NUMBER 10 P-D-Q. 264 00:10:49,092 --> 00:10:50,859 SURELY NOT IN THOSE CLOTHES, SIR? 265 00:10:50,861 --> 00:10:52,994 WELL, SURELY YOU HAD SOME CIVVIES STANDING BY 266 00:10:52,996 --> 00:10:54,663 FOR FAIRFAX AND CARSTAIRS? 267 00:10:54,665 --> 00:10:56,297 YES SIR, WE'VE GOT THESE. 268 00:10:56,299 --> 00:10:58,232 THERE'S NO TIME TO LOSE. THEY'LL HAVE TO DO. 269 00:10:58,234 --> 00:11:00,001 CAPTAIN, WILL YOU TELL THESE FRENCHIES 270 00:11:00,003 --> 00:11:02,571 WE ARE GOING TO SEE THE P.M. AND HE WILL PROBABLY GIVE THEM A MEDAL? 271 00:11:02,573 --> 00:11:05,574 CHURCHILL IS PROBABLY GOING TO GIVE YOU A MEDAL. 272 00:11:05,576 --> 00:11:07,943 MAY I SAY HOW HAPPY I AM TO GIVE YOU THIS NEWS? 273 00:11:07,945 --> 00:11:09,310 OH MY GOD, NO, NOT A MEDAL. 274 00:11:09,312 --> 00:11:11,379 - NO, NO, PLEASE. - WHAT DID HE SAY? 275 00:11:11,381 --> 00:11:14,182 HE IS ALMOST SPEECHLESS WITH EXCITEMENT. 276 00:11:16,319 --> 00:11:18,987 GOOD MORNING, COLONEL, LIEUTENANT, CAPTAIN. 277 00:11:18,989 --> 00:11:21,490 GOOD MORNING, YVETTE. WE ARE LOOKING FOR RENE. 278 00:11:21,492 --> 00:11:23,358 HE IS NOT HERE, I AM AFRAID. 279 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,693 WELL, WHERE IS HE? WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR HIM. 280 00:11:25,695 --> 00:11:29,297 HE SAID HE HAD JOINED THE MONASTERY, BUT HE IS NOT THERE. 281 00:11:29,299 --> 00:11:32,967 ALL WE FIND WERE A BUNCH OF THE MONKEYS IN THE LONG DRESSES. 282 00:11:32,969 --> 00:11:34,702 I THINK HE CHANGED HIS MIND 283 00:11:34,704 --> 00:11:36,171 ABOUT BECOMING A MONK, 284 00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:37,772 THE ROBES WERE TOO TICKLY. 285 00:11:37,774 --> 00:11:39,874 I NOT SURPRISED. 286 00:11:39,876 --> 00:11:42,110 WITH BEAUTIFUL LADIES LIKE YOU AROUND, 287 00:11:42,112 --> 00:11:44,546 ONLY THE FRUITCAKE GO INTO THE MONASTERY. 288 00:11:44,548 --> 00:11:46,781 OH, THANK YOU CAPTAIN, 289 00:11:46,783 --> 00:11:50,152 - WHAT A CHARMER. - YEAH, AND HOW SICKENING. 290 00:11:50,154 --> 00:11:54,156 NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TO RENE HAS IT, YVETTE? 291 00:11:54,158 --> 00:11:56,991 HE SAID THREATS HAD BEEN MADE AGAINST HIM. 292 00:11:56,993 --> 00:11:59,761 HE'S NOT HIDING IN SOME COLD PLACE, 293 00:11:59,763 --> 00:12:02,564 ALONE AND FRIENDLESS? I COULD NOT BEAR IT. 294 00:12:02,566 --> 00:12:04,132 OH NO, LIEUTENANT. 295 00:12:04,134 --> 00:12:05,933 HE HAS JUST GONE AWAY FOR A FEW DAYS. 296 00:12:05,935 --> 00:12:08,970 - ( plays note ) - MI MI MI MI... 297 00:12:08,972 --> 00:12:11,540 ( Fanny warbles ) 298 00:12:11,542 --> 00:12:14,409 - WHAT IS MADAME FANNY DOING? - SHE PLANS TO SING TONIGHT. 299 00:12:14,411 --> 00:12:16,044 SHE IS JUST WARMING UP HER TONSILS. 300 00:12:16,046 --> 00:12:18,980 IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE SHE'S OVERHEATING. 301 00:12:18,982 --> 00:12:21,249 DO YOU REQUIRE A TABLE FOR THIS EVENING? 302 00:12:21,251 --> 00:12:24,919 YES, BUT A LONG WAY FROM THE PIANO. 303 00:12:24,921 --> 00:12:26,921 AND MAKE SURE THERE IS PLENTY OF CHEESE 304 00:12:26,923 --> 00:12:29,090 FOR OUR EARS. 305 00:12:29,092 --> 00:12:32,794 I MUST LUBRICATE MY VOCAL CORDS. 306 00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:36,398 ( gargles ) 307 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,966 ( shrilling ) 308 00:12:40,403 --> 00:12:42,070 I THINK IT HAS DONE THE TRICK. 309 00:12:44,073 --> 00:12:45,407 GOOD MOANING. 310 00:12:47,076 --> 00:12:48,610 GOOD MOANING. 311 00:12:48,612 --> 00:12:52,180 I HAVE SOME BOD NOSE FOR YOU. 312 00:12:52,182 --> 00:12:55,417 I HAVE HAD A MASSAGE FROM ONGLAND. 313 00:12:55,419 --> 00:12:57,319 RONNIE IS OVA THERE. 314 00:12:57,321 --> 00:12:59,588 NO? IS HE SAFE? 315 00:12:59,590 --> 00:13:01,789 AND ARE HIS PIECES IN ONE? 316 00:13:01,791 --> 00:13:03,692 I PRESUME SUE, 317 00:13:03,694 --> 00:13:07,161 BUT THERE HAS BEEN AN ALMOTEY KICK-UP. 318 00:13:07,163 --> 00:13:10,498 HE AND MODOM EDITH SIMHOW GOT ON THE EARCRAFT 319 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,667 INSTEAD OF THE BROTISH EARMAN. 320 00:13:12,669 --> 00:13:14,469 MICHELLE IS LOVID WITH INGER. 321 00:13:15,638 --> 00:13:17,939 BUT THANK HEAVENS HE IS SAFE. 322 00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:22,009 MICHELLE HAS ARROONGED TO SPOKE TO HIM 323 00:13:22,011 --> 00:13:24,979 ON THE ROODIO AT FARTEEN HONDRID EARS. 324 00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:28,416 WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE BRITISH AIRMEN? 325 00:13:28,418 --> 00:13:29,917 WE DO NOT KNEE, 326 00:13:29,919 --> 00:13:33,121 BUT I AM GOING TO LICK FOR THEM ON MY BURCYCLE. 327 00:13:34,257 --> 00:13:36,424 IF THE NITZIS FIND THEM, 328 00:13:36,426 --> 00:13:38,926 WE COULD BE UP THE CRICK WITHOUT A PIDDLE. 329 00:13:40,763 --> 00:13:43,598 THAT IS BAD NOSE. 330 00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:48,336 I SAY, CARSTAIRS, 331 00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:52,340 I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT AIRPLANE FROM BLIGHTY? 332 00:13:52,342 --> 00:13:53,775 DON'T KNOW, OLD BOY. 333 00:13:53,777 --> 00:13:56,578 MUST HAVE MISSED IT SOMEHOW. 334 00:13:56,580 --> 00:13:58,513 WELL, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO KIP DOWN HERE 335 00:13:58,515 --> 00:14:00,315 UNTIL SOMEONE FINDS US. 336 00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:02,651 I HOPE THEY HURRY UP, I'M STARVING. 337 00:14:02,653 --> 00:14:04,152 WELL-- 338 00:14:04,154 --> 00:14:06,288 "NEEDS MUST WHEN THE DEVIL DRIVES." 339 00:14:06,290 --> 00:14:09,357 CAN'T BE ANY WORSE THAN THE GRUB AT THE CAFE. 340 00:14:14,997 --> 00:14:16,698 ENTER. 341 00:14:18,634 --> 00:14:21,068 THESE ARE THE TWO FRENCH RESISTANCE FIGHTERS 342 00:14:21,070 --> 00:14:22,304 YOU ASKED TO SEE, PRIME MINISTER. 343 00:14:24,139 --> 00:14:26,040 THEY DON'T LOOK VERY FRENCH TO ME. 344 00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,944 MORE LIKE LAUREL AND HARDY. 345 00:14:29,946 --> 00:14:31,780 WE HAD TO GIVE THEM 346 00:14:31,782 --> 00:14:33,381 NEW CLOTHES, PRIME MINISTER. 347 00:14:33,383 --> 00:14:35,082 WHEN THEY ARRIVED, ALL THEY HAD 348 00:14:35,084 --> 00:14:36,284 WERE FILTHY OLD HABITS. 349 00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:41,589 THAT'S TYPICAL OF THE FRENCH. 350 00:14:41,591 --> 00:14:43,458 HE LOOKS VERY TIRED. 351 00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:46,060 IT IS ALL THAT BLOOD, SWEAT, TOIL, AND TEARS. 352 00:14:46,062 --> 00:14:48,262 NOT TO MENTION THE WHISKEY. 353 00:14:49,732 --> 00:14:52,334 TELL THEM, I'M VERY GRATEFUL TO THEM. 354 00:14:52,336 --> 00:14:55,136 FOILING THE PLOT TO KIDNAP ME 355 00:14:55,138 --> 00:14:57,205 WAS A MOST COURAGEOUS ACT. 356 00:14:57,207 --> 00:14:58,606 I HAVE THEIR MEDALS HERE. 357 00:14:58,608 --> 00:15:00,007 HE HAS THE MEDALS FOR YOU. 358 00:15:00,009 --> 00:15:02,344 OH, NO, THAT IS THE LAST THING WE WANT. 359 00:15:02,346 --> 00:15:04,579 REFUSE THEM, CAPTAIN GEERING, PLEASE. 360 00:15:04,581 --> 00:15:06,113 WHAT WAS THAT, CAPTAIN? 361 00:15:06,115 --> 00:15:08,015 THEY ARE DELIGHTED, PRIME MINISTER. 362 00:15:08,017 --> 00:15:09,718 YOU CANNOT REFUSE THEM. 363 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,586 HE MAY HAVE YOU SHOT AS TRAITORS. 364 00:15:11,588 --> 00:15:14,021 HERE ARE THE CITATIONS. 365 00:15:14,023 --> 00:15:17,225 R. ARTOYZ, E. ARTOYZ, 366 00:15:17,227 --> 00:15:20,362 FOR GALLANTRY ABOVE THE CALL OF DUTY. 367 00:15:20,364 --> 00:15:22,464 BROTHERS ARE THEY? 368 00:15:22,466 --> 00:15:24,899 NO, THEY'RE MARRIED, PRIME MINISTER. 369 00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:28,202 VERY ODD BEDFELLOWS, THE FRENCH. 370 00:15:28,204 --> 00:15:29,404 NO, SIR, 371 00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:31,072 THIS ONE'S A WOMAN. 372 00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:37,011 I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT. 373 00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,349 COME HERE. 374 00:15:42,685 --> 00:15:44,352 IT IS PEOPLE LIKE YOU, 375 00:15:44,354 --> 00:15:46,287 BRAVE, LOYAL ALLIES, 376 00:15:46,289 --> 00:15:47,955 FIGHTING ON THE BEACHES, 377 00:15:47,957 --> 00:15:49,290 IN THE FIELDS, 378 00:15:49,292 --> 00:15:51,292 ON THE STREETS AND IN THE HILLS, 379 00:15:51,294 --> 00:15:53,327 WHO ARE KEEPING THE FREE WORLD SAFE 380 00:15:53,329 --> 00:15:56,063 FROM THE SHADOW OF THE NAZI JACKBOOT. 381 00:15:57,266 --> 00:15:59,133 I GIVE YOU THESE MEDALS, 382 00:15:59,135 --> 00:16:01,536 FROM A GRATEFUL BRITISH PEOPLE, 383 00:16:01,538 --> 00:16:04,439 IN RECOGNITION OF YOUR WORK FOR THE RESISTANCE. 384 00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:05,907 WHAT DID HE SAY? 385 00:16:05,909 --> 00:16:07,509 YOU'RE A HERO. 386 00:16:07,511 --> 00:16:09,310 THANK YOU. 387 00:16:09,312 --> 00:16:11,479 I'M GETTING QUITE A COLLECTION. 388 00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,685 I WILL PIN IT ON MYSELF, MR. CHURCHILL. 389 00:16:17,687 --> 00:16:20,354 CAPTAIN, SHOW THEM THE SIGHTS 390 00:16:20,356 --> 00:16:22,824 AND TAKE THEM FOR TEA ON EXPENSES. 391 00:16:22,826 --> 00:16:24,191 YES, PRIME MINISTER. 392 00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:26,428 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 393 00:16:26,430 --> 00:16:28,496 I MUST GET ON WITH THE WAR. 394 00:16:28,498 --> 00:16:30,698 THAT'S IT. HE HAS TO GET ON WITH THE WAR. 395 00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:33,535 ( snoring ) 396 00:16:33,537 --> 00:16:36,805 I THINK IT COULD BE A VERY LONG ONE. 397 00:16:46,982 --> 00:16:50,150 YOU ARE NOT PEDALING EVENLY, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 398 00:16:50,152 --> 00:16:52,553 I'M SORRY, HERR FLICK. 399 00:16:52,555 --> 00:16:55,089 HOW CAN I MAKE POTS, 400 00:16:55,091 --> 00:16:57,324 IF THE WHEEL DOES NOT TURN EVENLY? 401 00:16:58,460 --> 00:16:59,927 NOW LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE MADE ME DO. 402 00:17:01,530 --> 00:17:03,865 MY POT HAS GONE ALL WOBBLY. 403 00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:07,902 I WAS CONCENTRATING ON MY PETIT POINT. 404 00:17:07,904 --> 00:17:09,804 IT IS GOING VERY WELL. 405 00:17:09,806 --> 00:17:12,673 OH, DEAR, I HAVE STITCHED IT TO MY HABIT. 406 00:17:12,675 --> 00:17:15,142 I WILL TELL THE ABBOT, VON SMALLHAUSEN, 407 00:17:15,144 --> 00:17:17,144 AND HE WILL PUT YOU IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT. 408 00:17:17,146 --> 00:17:18,345 I DO NOT MIND. 409 00:17:18,347 --> 00:17:20,681 I FIND THE PEACE AND QUIET REFRESHING. 410 00:17:20,683 --> 00:17:22,917 IN THAT CASE, YOU WILL REMAIN HERE WITH ME. 411 00:17:22,919 --> 00:17:24,685 - ( knocking ) - ENTER! 412 00:17:27,389 --> 00:17:29,323 WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU, SISTER? 413 00:17:30,358 --> 00:17:31,826 IT IS I, HELGA. 414 00:17:31,828 --> 00:17:32,994 HELGA?! 415 00:17:32,996 --> 00:17:34,996 YOU HAVE NOT BECOME A NUN, HAVE YOU? 416 00:17:34,998 --> 00:17:37,164 NO, I HAD TO DISGUISE MYSELF TO GET IN. 417 00:17:37,166 --> 00:17:38,666 ORDINARY WOMEN ARE FORBIDDEN, 418 00:17:38,668 --> 00:17:40,134 IN CASE THEY CORRUPT THE MONKS. 419 00:17:40,136 --> 00:17:41,636 I ALWAYS SAY, 420 00:17:41,638 --> 00:17:44,572 A LITTLE BIT OF WHAT YOU FANCY DOES YOU GOOD. 421 00:17:44,574 --> 00:17:46,941 HAVE YOU LOCATED THE BRITISH AIRMEN YET? 422 00:17:46,943 --> 00:17:48,509 NO, IT IT NOT VERY EASY. 423 00:17:48,511 --> 00:17:50,210 WELL, COULD YOU NOT EAVESDROP AND SEE 424 00:17:50,212 --> 00:17:51,913 IF ANY OF THE MONKS SPEAK ENGLISH? 425 00:17:51,915 --> 00:17:53,948 THIS IS A SILENT ORDER. 426 00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:56,651 EXCEPT AFTER THE CHEESE AND ONION SOUP. 427 00:17:56,653 --> 00:17:59,386 DID YOU GET THE NOTE WE SMUGGLED OUT, 428 00:17:59,388 --> 00:18:01,121 ATTACHED TO THE STRAY DOG, 429 00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:03,424 THAT I REMEMBERED YOU HAD ONCE THROWN A BONE TO-- 430 00:18:03,426 --> 00:18:06,493 WHICH I ASSUMED WOULD SEEK YOU OUT FOR ANOTHER NIBBLE? 431 00:18:06,495 --> 00:18:08,362 NO, 432 00:18:08,364 --> 00:18:10,197 BUT I DID SEE YOU SWINGING 433 00:18:10,199 --> 00:18:11,966 ON THE BELL ROPE, THROUGH MY BINOCULARS, 434 00:18:11,968 --> 00:18:13,668 AND ASSUMED YOU MUST BE SUFFERING 435 00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:15,636 GREAT PRIVATION IN THE CAUSE OF DUTY, 436 00:18:15,638 --> 00:18:17,237 AND IN CONSEQUENCE, 437 00:18:17,239 --> 00:18:19,239 I HAVE BROUGHT YOU SOME SUSTENANCE. 438 00:18:22,544 --> 00:18:25,145 HERE IS THE BREAD FOR THE SANDWICHES. 439 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:27,081 WHAT IS THERE TO PUT BETWEEN THEM? 440 00:18:36,291 --> 00:18:38,693 I HAVE BROUGHT A SALAMI. 441 00:18:38,695 --> 00:18:40,427 HELGA, 442 00:18:40,429 --> 00:18:43,965 IN MY CURRENT STATE OF NOOKY DEPRIVATION, 443 00:18:43,967 --> 00:18:46,834 THE SIGHT OF YOUR GARTER DRIVES ME WILD. 444 00:18:46,836 --> 00:18:48,970 MAY I KISS YOU, HERR FLICK? 445 00:18:48,972 --> 00:18:50,370 A NOTICE 446 00:18:50,372 --> 00:18:52,172 WARNS OF SEVERE PENALTIES 447 00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:53,908 SHOULD ANY KISSING TAKE PLACE 448 00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:55,643 WITHIN THESE WALLS. 449 00:18:55,645 --> 00:18:57,612 AM I NOT WORTH THE RISK? 450 00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:01,215 LET US TRY AND SEE. 451 00:19:06,888 --> 00:19:09,156 THE ANSWER IS NO. 452 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:15,596 QUICK, IT IS NEARLY TIME. 453 00:19:15,598 --> 00:19:19,000 Rene: Hello, Nighthawk, this is... er, 454 00:19:19,002 --> 00:19:21,468 Nighthawk calling from London. Over. 455 00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:24,639 HELLO, NIGHTHAWK. THIS IS BLUE TIT. 456 00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:27,141 RECEIVING YOU LOUD AND CLEAR. OVER. 457 00:19:27,143 --> 00:19:29,043 Hello, Blue Tit, 458 00:19:29,045 --> 00:19:31,979 I, too, can hear you very loud and clear. Over. 459 00:19:31,981 --> 00:19:34,281 WHAT WENT WRONG WITH THE PLAN? 460 00:19:34,283 --> 00:19:37,018 We were dragged onto the plane by mistake. 461 00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:38,986 They thought we were the airmen. Over. 462 00:19:38,988 --> 00:19:40,955 WHERE ARE THE AIRMEN NOW? 463 00:19:40,957 --> 00:19:43,090 Are they not with you? Over. 464 00:19:43,092 --> 00:19:45,225 WOULD I BE ASKING IF THEY WERE? 465 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:48,095 OFFICER CRABTREE HAS SEARCHED THE WHOLE COUNTRYSIDE FOR THEM. 466 00:19:48,097 --> 00:19:51,331 I HAVE LICKED EVERYWHERE ON MY BURCYCLE, 467 00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:54,468 BUT THEY HAVE VINISHED INTO THON EAR. 468 00:19:54,470 --> 00:19:56,537 I HAVE BURCYCLED SO MUCH, 469 00:19:56,539 --> 00:19:59,674 I'VE GOT A SORE BIM. 470 00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:02,076 Well, I do not know where they are. Over. 471 00:20:02,078 --> 00:20:04,411 NIGHTHAWK, LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, 472 00:20:04,413 --> 00:20:06,547 I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE. 473 00:20:06,549 --> 00:20:09,684 YOU MUST RETURN IMMEDIATELY TO SORT THIS OUT. 474 00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:11,852 Edith: This is Mrs. Nighthawk. 475 00:20:11,854 --> 00:20:13,353 IT IS MADAME EDITH. 476 00:20:13,355 --> 00:20:15,890 I would like to speak to Mamma. 477 00:20:15,892 --> 00:20:17,591 SHE HAS PASSED OUT ON THE BED, 478 00:20:17,593 --> 00:20:18,859 WITH A BOTTLE OF GIN. 479 00:20:18,861 --> 00:20:20,394 Who is looking after the till? 480 00:20:20,396 --> 00:20:22,663 MONSIEUR LECLERC IS IN THE BAR, 481 00:20:22,665 --> 00:20:24,498 GIVING FREE DRINKS TO ALL HIS OLD PALS. 482 00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:26,633 He will ruin the business! 483 00:20:26,635 --> 00:20:29,603 We shall return tonight. Over and out. 484 00:20:31,173 --> 00:20:32,807 Edith: IT WAS VERY GOOD OF YOU 485 00:20:32,809 --> 00:20:34,709 TO TAKE US SHOPPING, CAPTAIN GEERING. 486 00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,344 NOT AT ALL, MADAME EDITH. 487 00:20:36,346 --> 00:20:38,746 OH IT IS ALL ON GOVERNMENT EXPENSES. 488 00:20:40,449 --> 00:20:42,983 AND I LOVE THIS DRESS. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 489 00:20:42,985 --> 00:20:44,518 WHAT DO THINK, RENE? 490 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,554 IT WAS A LONG WAY TO COME 491 00:20:46,556 --> 00:20:48,589 JUST TO GO TO MARKS AND SPENCERS. 492 00:20:48,591 --> 00:20:50,725 YOU WERE VERY PLEASED WITH YOUR Y-FRONTS. 493 00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:52,893 PLEASE, NOT HERE. 494 00:20:52,895 --> 00:20:55,295 WE CANNOT HAVE YOU COMING TO LYONS CORNER HOUSE 495 00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:57,331 IN A MAN'S SUIT, MADAME EDITH. 496 00:20:57,333 --> 00:20:59,734 SO THIS IS LYONS CORNER HOUSE. 497 00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:01,502 OH, IT IS VERY NICE. 498 00:21:01,504 --> 00:21:03,136 DO YOU COME HERE OFTEN, CAPTAIN? 499 00:21:03,138 --> 00:21:05,773 OH, YES, I HAVE SOMETHING OF A SWEET TOOTH. 500 00:21:05,775 --> 00:21:08,509 BUT IT IS NOT THE SAME AS FRANCE. 501 00:21:08,511 --> 00:21:11,178 HOW I MISS THE SMELL OF THE DRAINS, 502 00:21:11,180 --> 00:21:12,946 AND HAIR OIL, 503 00:21:12,948 --> 00:21:15,082 AND THEY CAN'T MAKE STRUDEL HERE FOR TOFFEE. 504 00:21:15,084 --> 00:21:17,385 BUT MOST OF ALL, MADAME EDITH, I MISS YOUR COOKING. 505 00:21:18,420 --> 00:21:20,988 THINGS MUST BE VERY BAD OVER HERE. 506 00:21:22,457 --> 00:21:25,493 ALSO, I HAVE-- A LITTLE THING GOING 507 00:21:25,495 --> 00:21:27,361 WITH ONE OF THE WAITRESSES HERE. 508 00:21:27,363 --> 00:21:29,196 HER NAME IS ETHEL. 509 00:21:29,198 --> 00:21:30,731 SHE'S A NIPPY. 510 00:21:30,733 --> 00:21:33,233 IS SHE JAPANESE? 511 00:21:33,235 --> 00:21:34,968 NO, NO, THEY MOVE SO FAST, 512 00:21:34,970 --> 00:21:36,303 THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL THEM. 513 00:21:36,305 --> 00:21:39,306 I HOPE SHE'S BETTER LOOKING THAN THAT ONE OVER THERE. 514 00:21:39,308 --> 00:21:40,974 THAT'S HER. 515 00:21:40,976 --> 00:21:43,511 OH. NOW THAT I GIVE HER A SECOND LOOK, 516 00:21:43,513 --> 00:21:45,513 I SEE SHE DOES HAVE CERTAIN QUALITIES. 517 00:21:45,515 --> 00:21:46,781 YOU'LL LIKE HER. 518 00:21:46,783 --> 00:21:48,549 COULD WE HAVE THE SPECIAL PLEASE, ETHEL? 519 00:21:50,952 --> 00:21:53,320 THESE WAS LEFTOVER FROM A CUSTOMER 520 00:21:53,322 --> 00:21:55,723 WHAT GOT TIRED OF WAITING, SO YOU'RE IN LUCK. 521 00:21:55,725 --> 00:21:56,724 WILL I, ER... 522 00:21:56,726 --> 00:21:58,191 WILL I SEE YOU LATER, ETHEL? 523 00:21:58,193 --> 00:22:01,028 OOOH, IF YOU LIKE. I'M OFF THIS EVENING. 524 00:22:01,030 --> 00:22:03,163 I'LL COME ROUND AND KNOCK YOU UP AT ABOUT 8:00. 525 00:22:03,165 --> 00:22:05,499 ( laughs hysterically ) 526 00:22:07,736 --> 00:22:09,703 SUCH A STRANGE SENSE OF HUMOR, 527 00:22:09,705 --> 00:22:11,004 HAVE THESE ENGLISH GIRLS. 528 00:22:11,006 --> 00:22:13,674 WHAT HAS DIED ON THIS HEATED BREAD? 529 00:22:13,676 --> 00:22:15,208 TODAY'S SPECIAL. 530 00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:16,710 MUSHROOM STALKS ON TOAST. 531 00:22:16,712 --> 00:22:18,078 DELICIOUS! 532 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,547 APART FROM WHICH, EVERYTHING ELSE IS OFF. 533 00:22:19,549 --> 00:22:21,281 - IT ALWAYS IS. - MUSHROOM STALKS? 534 00:22:21,283 --> 00:22:23,283 WHAT DO THEY DO WITH THE REST OF THE MUSHROOMS? 535 00:22:24,786 --> 00:22:26,887 GRIND THEM UP TO MAKE TEA, 536 00:22:26,889 --> 00:22:28,221 IF THIS IS ANYTHING TO GO BY. 537 00:22:28,223 --> 00:22:30,491 YOU MEAN YOU HAVE TO LIVE ON THIS FOOD? 538 00:22:30,493 --> 00:22:33,126 IT'S DELICIOUS. IT'S VERY TASTY. 539 00:22:33,128 --> 00:22:36,129 AND GREAT GERMANY IS SUCCESSFULLY BLOCKING 540 00:22:36,131 --> 00:22:38,065 THE ALLIES' SUPPLY LINES, 541 00:22:38,067 --> 00:22:39,900 WHICH ARE STRETCHED TO BREAKING POINT, 542 00:22:39,902 --> 00:22:42,102 BY OUR GLORIOUS MEN IN THE UNDERSEA BOATENS, 543 00:22:42,104 --> 00:22:44,404 AS THEY BLOW THEM OUT OF THE WATER. 544 00:22:44,406 --> 00:22:46,640 OOPS! WHAT AM I SAYING? 545 00:22:46,642 --> 00:22:48,442 YOU KNOW, EDITH, 546 00:22:48,444 --> 00:22:50,310 I WISH I WERE COMING HOME WITH YOU TONIGHT. 547 00:22:50,312 --> 00:22:53,246 OH, WHAT A LOVELY THING TO SAY. 548 00:22:53,248 --> 00:22:55,850 AFTER EATING HERE, EVEN YOUR FOOD TASTES LIKE CORDON BLEU. 549 00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:58,185 I'M AFRAID I MUST GO, RENE. 550 00:22:58,187 --> 00:23:01,722 MAMMA AND MONSIEUR LECLERC ARE RUINING THE BUSINESS. 551 00:23:01,724 --> 00:23:03,290 I WILL SEND YOU GOOD LUCK MESSAGES, 552 00:23:03,292 --> 00:23:05,626 FROM TIME TO TIME, ON THE RADIO. 553 00:23:05,628 --> 00:23:08,195 - ( siren sounds ) - LISTEN, AN AIR RAID. 554 00:23:08,197 --> 00:23:10,764 OUR GLORIOUS AIR FORCE, WHOSE BRAVE PILOTS 555 00:23:10,766 --> 00:23:12,967 DEFIED THE MIGHT OF THE FEW, 556 00:23:12,969 --> 00:23:15,268 HAVE COME TO BLOW THE PANTS OFF THE BRITISH IMPERIALISTS. 557 00:23:15,270 --> 00:23:17,505 OOPS! I MUST GO FOR SOME MORE BRAINWASHING. 558 00:23:17,507 --> 00:23:19,339 QUICK, TO THE SHELTERS. 559 00:23:21,075 --> 00:23:22,977 EVENING, YVETTE. 560 00:23:22,979 --> 00:23:24,244 GOOD EVENING, COLONEL. 561 00:23:24,246 --> 00:23:26,279 YOUR TABLE IS OVER HERE. 562 00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:28,983 IS THERE ANY WORD FROM RENE, YVETTE? 563 00:23:28,985 --> 00:23:31,952 NO, BUT WE EXPECT HIM BACK SHORTLY. 564 00:23:31,954 --> 00:23:34,522 OH, GOOD, BECAUSE WE HAVE TO REPORT 565 00:23:34,524 --> 00:23:36,624 PERSONS MISSING MORE THAN 24 HOURS 566 00:23:36,626 --> 00:23:38,025 TO THE GENERAL. 567 00:23:38,027 --> 00:23:39,793 AFTER THAT, THEY ARE SUBJECT 568 00:23:39,795 --> 00:23:41,862 TO ARREST AND INTERROGATION. 569 00:23:41,864 --> 00:23:44,131 ALSO THEIR FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES. 570 00:23:44,133 --> 00:23:46,299 THIS INCLUDES THE STAFF HERE. 571 00:23:46,301 --> 00:23:48,301 SO YOU SEE, IT IS RATHER SERIOUS. 572 00:23:48,303 --> 00:23:50,504 ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T KNOW HIS WHEREABOUTS? 573 00:23:50,506 --> 00:23:52,105 I HAVE NO IDEA. 574 00:23:52,107 --> 00:23:54,374 - NOR THOSE OF HIS WIFE? - I KNOW NOTHING. 575 00:23:54,376 --> 00:23:55,910 I THINK SHE TELL THE TRUTH. 576 00:23:57,045 --> 00:23:58,278 HERE, LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK. 577 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,380 OH, NOT AT THE MOMENT, THANK YOU, CAPTAIN. 578 00:24:00,382 --> 00:24:01,749 OKEY-DOKEY. 579 00:24:01,751 --> 00:24:03,383 I GIVE YOU ONE LATER. 580 00:24:04,719 --> 00:24:07,487 I SOMETIMES WONDER WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN THIS WAR. 581 00:24:07,489 --> 00:24:10,290 TRYING TO GET A PIECE OF THE ACTION. 582 00:24:11,325 --> 00:24:13,293 NEARLY THERE. 583 00:24:13,295 --> 00:24:14,962 JUST STAND IN THE MIDDLE, 584 00:24:14,964 --> 00:24:16,664 AND WATCH FOR THE GREEN LIGHT. 585 00:24:16,666 --> 00:24:17,798 ALL RIGHT? 586 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,266 TIME TO GO. 587 00:24:21,503 --> 00:24:24,304 IT HAS BEEN WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 588 00:24:24,306 --> 00:24:26,640 IN A WAY I WISH I WAS GOING WITH YOU, 589 00:24:26,642 --> 00:24:28,408 BUT THAT WOULD NOT BE A GOOD IDEA. 590 00:24:28,410 --> 00:24:31,512 IT IS VERY GOOD OF YOU BOTH TO COME AND SEE ME OFF. 591 00:24:31,514 --> 00:24:33,080 RENE, 592 00:24:33,082 --> 00:24:35,182 WILL YOU NOT CHANGE YOUR MIND? 593 00:24:35,184 --> 00:24:38,018 I CANNOT, MY LOVE. 594 00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:40,488 I AM NOT WEARING A PARACHUTE. 595 00:24:40,490 --> 00:24:42,255 I DO NOT WANT TO GET SHOT. 596 00:24:43,558 --> 00:24:45,993 MY HEART WILL BEAT IN TIME WITH YOURS, 597 00:24:45,995 --> 00:24:48,462 ALTHOUGH I AM IN A FOREIGN LAND, FAR AWAY, 598 00:24:48,464 --> 00:24:49,897 WHILE YOU FIGHT FOR FREEDOM. 599 00:24:49,899 --> 00:24:52,967 OH, HOW BEAUTIFULLY PUT. 600 00:24:52,969 --> 00:24:55,002 OH, GOODBYE, RENE. 601 00:24:55,004 --> 00:24:57,938 I WILL GIVE YOUR BEST TO THE GIRLS. 602 00:24:57,940 --> 00:25:00,474 AND DO NOT FORGET-- 603 00:25:00,476 --> 00:25:02,442 HALF THE PORTRAIT OF THE FALLEN MADONNA 604 00:25:02,444 --> 00:25:03,511 WITH THE BIG BOOBS IS-- 605 00:25:03,513 --> 00:25:04,578 AARGHH! 606 00:25:05,747 --> 00:25:06,780 OOPS. 607 00:25:08,349 --> 00:25:10,117 OH, RENE, 608 00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:12,386 I KNEW YOU WOULD CHANGE YOUR MIND. 609 00:25:12,388 --> 00:25:14,722 YOU WERE STANDING ON MY FOOT. 610 00:25:17,025 --> 00:25:18,959 WE WILL KILL THEM 611 00:25:18,961 --> 00:25:21,495 WITH THIS CABARET NUMBER. 612 00:25:21,497 --> 00:25:25,198 NOW CAN YOU REMEMBER THE WORDS? 613 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:28,168 ♪ I LIKE TO GO AWANDERING ♪ 614 00:25:28,170 --> 00:25:30,103 ♪ WITH A SUITCASE IN MY HAND. ♪ 615 00:25:30,105 --> 00:25:31,138 NO, NO, NO. 616 00:25:31,140 --> 00:25:33,206 "A KNAPSACK ON YOUR BACK." 617 00:25:33,208 --> 00:25:35,843 OH, DO TRY TO GET IT RIGHT, ERNEST, 618 00:25:35,845 --> 00:25:37,811 OR IT WILL BE A DISASTER. 619 00:25:37,813 --> 00:25:40,047 NOW THAT EDITH HAS GONE, 620 00:25:40,049 --> 00:25:42,816 MY CAREER IS ABOUT TO BLOSSOM. 621 00:25:43,885 --> 00:25:45,753 IF YOU GO ON WATERING IT LIKE THAT, 622 00:25:45,755 --> 00:25:46,887 IT WILL WILT. 623 00:25:46,889 --> 00:25:48,355 I AM READY. 624 00:25:48,357 --> 00:25:50,658 NOTHING CAN STOP 625 00:25:50,660 --> 00:25:53,293 MY BIG COMEBACK NOW. 626 00:25:53,295 --> 00:25:55,395 ( glass shattering ) 627 00:26:00,569 --> 00:26:02,836 24 HOURS ARE UP, COLONEL. 628 00:26:02,838 --> 00:26:05,138 WE SHALL HAVE TO ARREST RENE ON SIGHT. 629 00:26:05,140 --> 00:26:06,540 I WILL LET YOU DO IT. 630 00:26:06,542 --> 00:26:08,408 IS THAT AN ORDER? 631 00:26:08,410 --> 00:26:10,110 IT IS NOW. 632 00:26:10,112 --> 00:26:12,780 ( piano intro plays ) 633 00:26:12,782 --> 00:26:15,082 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 634 00:26:15,084 --> 00:26:17,150 FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT, 635 00:26:17,152 --> 00:26:20,054 I GIVE YOU "THE WANDERING YODELERS." 636 00:26:26,127 --> 00:26:29,663 MY GOD, IT'S RENE. HE'S BACK! 637 00:26:29,665 --> 00:26:31,865 AND SHOWING A VERY NICE LEG. 638 00:26:31,867 --> 00:26:33,767 YOU KEEP SINGING, 639 00:26:33,769 --> 00:26:35,469 I WILL YODEL MY WAY DOWN THE BACK PASSAGE, 640 00:26:35,471 --> 00:26:36,670 AND MAKE A RUN FOR IT. 641 00:26:38,607 --> 00:26:40,975 ♪ I LOVE TO GO ♪ 642 00:26:40,977 --> 00:26:43,543 ♪ AWANDERING ♪ 643 00:26:43,545 --> 00:26:46,179 ♪ ALONG THE MOUNTAIN TRACK ♪ 644 00:26:46,181 --> 00:26:48,148 ♪ AND AS I GO ♪ 645 00:26:48,150 --> 00:26:49,783 ♪ I LOVE TO SING ♪ 646 00:26:49,785 --> 00:26:51,719 ♪ MY KNAPSACK ♪ 647 00:26:51,721 --> 00:26:53,553 ♪ ON MY BACK ♪ 648 00:26:53,555 --> 00:26:55,322 - ♪ VALDER-EE ♪ - ♪ YODEL-ODEL-EE ♪ 649 00:26:55,324 --> 00:26:57,157 - ♪ VALDER-AA ♪ - ♪ YODEL-ODEL-OO ♪ 650 00:26:57,159 --> 00:26:59,159 - ♪ VALDER-AA ♪ - ♪ YODEL-ODEL-EE... ♪ 651 00:26:59,161 --> 00:27:00,961 AH, SO THERE'S THE PEASANT 652 00:27:00,963 --> 00:27:02,997 I RECOMMENDED FOR THE COLLABORATION MEDAL. 653 00:27:02,999 --> 00:27:04,698 I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE WAS MISSING! 654 00:27:04,700 --> 00:27:05,866 HE WAS! 655 00:27:05,868 --> 00:27:07,701 SILENCE! 656 00:27:07,703 --> 00:27:09,369 ♪ YODEL-ODEL-- ♪ 657 00:27:11,006 --> 00:27:13,040 I HAVE BAD NEWS FOR YOU. 658 00:27:13,042 --> 00:27:15,609 BERLIN DID NOT ACCEPT MY RECOMMENDATION. 659 00:27:15,611 --> 00:27:18,545 BLOWING UP A MINOR TROUBLEMAKING GENERAL BY ACCIDENT 660 00:27:18,547 --> 00:27:20,380 DOES NOT CONSTITUTE A SUFFICIENT DEGREE 661 00:27:20,382 --> 00:27:22,016 OF COLLABORATION. 662 00:27:22,018 --> 00:27:23,684 YOU MUST TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME, PEASANT. 663 00:27:23,686 --> 00:27:24,852 I WILL DO MY BEST. 664 00:27:24,854 --> 00:27:26,419 WELL, NOW THAT I'M HERE, 665 00:27:26,421 --> 00:27:28,822 I MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY A CONVIVIAL EVENING. 666 00:27:28,824 --> 00:27:30,223 CARRY ON. 667 00:27:30,225 --> 00:27:32,626 - ♪ VALDER-EE ♪ - ♪ YODEL-ODEL-EE ♪ 668 00:27:32,628 --> 00:27:34,662 - ♪ VALDER-AA ♪ - ♪ YODEL-ODEL-AA ♪ 669 00:27:34,664 --> 00:27:36,296 - ♪ VALDER-EE ♪ - ♪ YODEL-ODEL-EE... ♪ 670 00:27:36,298 --> 00:27:38,431 ON SECOND THOUGHT, 671 00:27:38,433 --> 00:27:40,433 I WILL ENJOY A MUCH MORE CONVIVIAL EVENING 672 00:27:40,435 --> 00:27:41,969 ALONE AT MY CHATEAU. 673 00:27:41,971 --> 00:27:43,937 ♪ WITH A KNAPSACK ♪ 674 00:27:43,939 --> 00:27:46,106 ♪ ON MY BACK. ♪ 675 00:27:46,108 --> 00:27:49,276 ( theme music playing )