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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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( theme music playing )
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LIFE HAS BECOME
VERY HECTIC FOR ME
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SINCE THE GERMANS
APPOINTED ME EDITOR
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OF THE NEW LOCAL NEWSPAPER.
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I AM SUPPOSED TO MAKE THEM
SEEM LIKE NICE PEOPLE,
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BUT IT IS NOT
AN EASY TASK.
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I STILL HAVE NOT RECOVERED
FROM THE PICNIC,
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ORGANIZED BY
GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN,
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TO SHOW THE HUMAN SIDE
OF THE GERMAN ARMY,
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WHICH WAS SPOILED
BY HERR FLICK
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AND HERR VON SMALLHAUSEN
OF THE GESTAPO.
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THEY WERE UP
A NEARBY TELEGRAPH POLE
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WHICH HAD BEEN PARTIALLY
SAWN THROUGH
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TO MAKE A RAFT TO GET
THE BRITISH AIRMEN TO ENGLAND.
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THE POLE FELL OVER,
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HERR FLICK
AND HIS COLLEAGUE
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LANDED SPLAT
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PICNIC,
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RUINING THE TRIFLE
AND CUSTARD,
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NOT TO MENTION
THEIR TROUSERS,
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AND I STILL HAVE
THE PICNIC BILL HERE--
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UNPAID.
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OH, OH, MICHELLE,
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YOU WILL GIVE ME
AN HEART ATTACK
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CREEPING AROUND
LIKE THAT.
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I WAS WALKING BEHIND YOU,
LIKE A SHADOW.
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I SAW THREE SHADOWS
AND I THOUGHT IT WAS STRANGE.
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I MUST SPEAK
WITH YOU, URGENTLY.
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I WANT TO TALK
TO YOU, TOO.
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WHEN ARE YOU
GOING TO GET THOSE
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IDIOT BRITISH AIRMEN
OUT OF MY HAIR?
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I AM GETTING
SOME GRAY ONES.
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I DO NOT KNOW.
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SINCE THE GESTAPO
RUINED OUR PLAN
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TO BUILD A RAFT
OF TELEGRAPH POLES,
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WE ARE NOW GOING
TO HAVE TO USE
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EMPTY WINE BARRELS
INSTEAD.
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BUT THAT IS NOT
WHY I HAVE COME.
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THEN WHY?
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THE RESISTANCE HAVE
RUN OUT OF FUNDS.
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I'M LOOKING FOR DONATIONS.
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COME ON, COUGH UP.
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COUGH UP,
WE ARE DESPERATE.
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WE DO NOT HAVE
ANY MONEY TO GIVE YOU.
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OH, THIS CAFE IS
A THRIVING BUSINESS.
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I THINK THE RESISTANCE
SHOULD GET
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A REGULAR CUT
OF THE TAKINGS.
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WHERE IS THE MONEY?
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WE HAVE NOT
TAKEN ANY MONEY,
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AND GIVING MONEY AWAY
IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.
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YOU WOULDN'T
WANT ANY ACCIDENTS
TO HAPPEN, WOULD YOU?
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WHAT SORT OF ACCIDENTS?
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( whistle blows )
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( all yell )
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THAT KIND
OF ACCIDENT.
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OH MY GOD.
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COME ON.
WE ARE DESPERATE
AND FLAT BROKE.
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OH, A FEW
LOUSY FRANCS!
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WHAT VALUABLES
DO YOU HAVE
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TO SELL
FOR OUR FUNDS?
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WE DO NOT HAVE
ANY VALUABLES!
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RENE, WHAT ABOUT
THE PAINTING
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OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
WITH THE BIG BOOBIES?
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WHAT PAINTING?
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THE ONE YOU
MADE ME GIVE
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TO HERR FLICK
OF THE GESTAPO.
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IT MUST BE
WORTH MILLIONS.
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THEN WE MUST
GET IT BACK
AND SELL IT.
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WITH THE MONEY
WE CAN BUY
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FOOD AND GUNS
AND AMMUNITION.
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AND SHAMPOO.
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OH, YES. OF COURSE,
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I'VE MADE
A NOTE OF THAT.
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I WILL GO AND DISCUSS IT
WITH MY GIRLS.
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WE WILL COME UP
WITH A PLAN.
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IF I HAVE A GOOD IDEA,
I WILL LET YOU KNOW.
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IF YOU HAVE A GOOD IDEA,
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WE WILL LET
THE WHOLE TOWN KNOW.
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WHY DID YOU HAVE TO OPEN
YOUR BIG MOUTH
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ABOUT THAT PAINTING?
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I DID IT FOR FRANCE.
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SHE'S A FANATIC,
THAT ONE.
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WE MUST HELP MICHELLE
TO GET THE PAINTING BACK
TO SELL AFTER THE WAR.
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BUT THEN SHE WILL
HAVE IT, NOT YOU.
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BETTER IN HER HANDS
THAN IN THE SAFE
OF HERR FLICK.
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WE WILL FIND
A WAY TO STEAL IT
FROM MICHELLE.
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MY MAD, BRAVE HUSBAND,
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IT IS A DANGEROUS PLAN.
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IF YOU ARE CAUGHT AT IT,
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YOU COULD BE SHOT.
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IT IS A RISK
I HAVE OFTEN TAKEN.
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A FEW MILLION FRANCS
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CAN MAKE A MAN
AWFULLY COURAGEOUS.
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OH, RENE,
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PUT YOUR ARM AROUND ME,
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GIVE ME SOME
OF YOUR COURAGE.
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THAT IS ALL I CAN
SPARE AT THE MOMENT.
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EVERY BIT HELPS.
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SPECIAL DELIVERY
FROM BERLIN,
HERR FLICK.
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AH, IT IS
FROM MY GODFATHER,
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HEINRICH HIMMLER.
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I RECOGNIZE
THE SCENTED NOTEPAPER.
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LET US HOPE
HE HAS NOT HEARD
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ABOUT THE COCK-UP
ON THE TELEGRAPH POLE.
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"DEAR OTTO, I HAVE HEARD
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ABOUT THE COCK-UP
ON THE TELEGRAPH POLE."
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WORD GETS ABOUT
QUICKLY, HERR FLICK.
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SILENCE.
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"I AM MOST
DISPLEASED ABOUT IT.
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I HAVE HEARD RUMORS
THAT YOU HAVE BEEN
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CONSORTING WITH WOMEN
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OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.
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ONLY SISSIES
GO OUT WITH GIRLS,
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AND I EXPECT YOU
TO STOP IMMEDIATELY."
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UNCLE HEINIE
IS CUTTING OFF
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OUR EXTRACURRICULAR
CRUMPET.
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HE DOES NOT SAY
ANYTHING ABOUT ME,
HERR FLICK.
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"P.S. AND THAT GOES
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FOR YOUR MIDGET FRIEND
AS WELL."
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( knocking )
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SEE WHO IT IS.
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WHO IS OUT THERE?
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IT IS I, HELGA!
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WE ARE NOT ALLOWED
TO TALK TO GIRLS.
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LET HER IN,
VON SMALLHAUSEN.
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I MUST BREAK
THE BAD NEWS TO HER.
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IT IS SO COLD
OUT THERE,
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MY NOSE IS RUNNING.
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SIT DOWN, HELGA.
I HAVE BAD NEWS FOR YOU.
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I REALIZE THAT YOU
WILL NEVER HAVE MET
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SUCH A POWERFUL,
VIRILE MAN AS I.
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AFTER ME, ALL MEN
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WILL BE AN ANTICLIMAX,
I KNOW.
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BUT I MUST
END IT ALL NOW.
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ARE MY EARS HEARING
ME CORRECTLY?
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( sniffs )
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TAKE THIS HANDKERCHIEF,
YOU WILL NEED IT.
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I'M AFRAID
OUR RELATIONSHIP
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IS FINISHED.
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THE LOVE AFFAIR
OF THE CENTURY IS OVER.
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YOU MAY LET
THE TEARS COMMENCE.
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( blowing nose )
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BUT, HERR FLICK,
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AFTER ALL MY DEVOTION
AND LOYALTY TO YOU?
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YOU HAVE NOT BEEN
THAT DEVOTED, HELGA.
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YOU HAVE DALLIED
WITH THE ITALIAN CAPTAIN.
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LIPS OTHER THAN MINE
HAVE TOUCHED YOURS--
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GARLIC STAINED LIPS.
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HOW DARE YOU?!
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AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU,
YOU CONCEITED LITTLE PIG.
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I DO NOT RECALL ANY
OF THESE THINGS.
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SHE WAS INSULTING ME,
NOT YOU.
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I AM AFRAID, HELGA,
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THAT YOU HAVE
JUST TALKED YOURSELF
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OUT OF THE SHARE
I WAS SAVING FOR YOU
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IN THE PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
WITH THE BIG BOOBIES.
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YOU HAVE NOT GOT IT.
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IT IS IN MY SAFE,
SO THERE!
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BUT THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE.
FROM WHERE DID YOU GET IT?
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I'M NOT TELLING YOU.
THAT WILL TEACH YOU
TO INSULT ME.
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NOW HAND VON SMALLHAUSEN
YOUR KEY TO THE DUNGEON.
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OOOH!
IT IS STILL HOT.
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PUT IT ON THE TABLE.
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NOW GO,
AND DO NOT LOOK BACK.
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DO NOT THINK I CARE
ABOUT THE PAINTING.
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I WOULD NOT TAKE
A GIFT FROM YOU
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IF I WERE STARVING
AND PENNILESS.
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BUT LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING ELSE,
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HERR FLICK
OF THE GESTAPO,
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I'VE HAD MORE THRILLS
STAYING IN AND READING
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THE COLLECTED SPEECHES OF
GOEBBELS IN SERBO-CROAT,
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THAN IN GOING OUT
WITH YOU.
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SHE TOOK IT LIKE A MAN,
HERR FLICK.
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SHE HAS ALSO JUST RUINED
MY BEST GESTAPO SUIT!
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UNCLE HEINIE IS RIGHT,
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WE ARE BETTER OFF
WITHOUT WOMEN.
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IN THAT CASE,
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I'VE ALWAYS
BEEN BETTER OFF.
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SINCE I LET IT
BE KNOWN
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THE NEWSPAPER WAS
LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY
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TO ENCAPSULATE THE TRUE
SPIRIT OF NOUVION,
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WE HAVE BEEN INUNDATED
WITH PHOTOGRAPHS
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OF YOUNG WOMEN.
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UNGH, AH.
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OH, OHHH!
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OH, MY DICKY TICKER.
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IT CANNOT STAND
THE EXCITEMENT.
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HELLO, RENE.
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HELLO,
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.
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I HAVE COME
TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED
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00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,748
FOR YOUR SPIRIT
OF NOUVION CONTEST.
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00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,583
AH, MADAME EDITH.
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00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:35,920
WE THANK YOU FOR GRACING
OUR SMALL NEWSPAPER OFFICE
193
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:37,389
WITH YOUR PRESENCE.
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00:07:37,391 --> 00:07:39,725
I WILL ARRANGE
FOR YOU A STOOL.
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YOU ARE NOT SERIOUSLY
ENTERING THE CONTEST,
ARE YOU?
196
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,364
RENE, YOU OF ALL PEOPLE
SHOULD KNOW THAT
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I HAVE THE PERFECT QUALITIES
YOU SAID YOU WANTED:
198
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,901
BEAUTY, STRENGTH,
199
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,370
VIRTUE.
200
00:07:51,372 --> 00:07:54,272
ONE OUT OF THREE IS
A START, I SUPPOSE.
201
00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:56,508
BUT YOU ARE THE EDITOR.
202
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,776
SURELY YOUR DECISION
IS FINAL?
203
00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,578
I AM ONLY
THE EDITOR BECAUSE
204
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,246
THE COLONEL FORCED
THE JOB ON ME.
205
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,615
BUT IT WOULD LOOK BAD
IF I SHOWED FAVORITISM.
206
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,617
IN THAT CASE, I SHALL
HAVE TO TAKE MY CHANCE
207
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,018
WITH THE REST
OF THE COMPETITION--
208
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,820
IF THERE IS ANY.
209
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:11,556
AHA!
210
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,157
I HAVE COME
TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED
211
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,793
FOR THE SPIRIT
OF NOUVION CONTEST.
212
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,595
WHAT ARE YOU DOING AWAY
FROM YOUR POST AT THE BAR?
213
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,263
WELL, MIMI IS THERE.
214
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,164
AND I AM HERE BECAUSE
I HAVE STRENGTH,
215
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,733
VIRTUE, AND BEAUTY.
216
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:24,569
CERTAINLY
TWO OUT OF THREE.
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00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,471
I ONLY AT THE MOMENT HAVE
218
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ONE PHOTOGRAPH PLATE,
MADEMOISELLE.
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00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:30,375
YVETTE, GO AND SIT
NEXT TO EDITH.
220
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,110
WE WILL PHOTOGRAPH
YOU TOGETHER,
221
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,845
AND CUT THE PHOTO
IN HALF.
222
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,815
MIMI, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
223
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,450
I HAVE COME
TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED
224
00:08:38,452 --> 00:08:40,151
FOR THE SPIRIT
OF NOUVION CONTEST.
225
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:42,320
HAVE I NOT
THE QUALIFICATIONS REQUIRED?
226
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,655
OH, YES.
227
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:46,124
IT'S JUST THAT THEY ARE
IN A SMALLER PACKAGE.
228
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:48,794
WHAT IS SHE
DOING HERE?
229
00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:50,929
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
FEEDING THE CHICKENS.
230
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:53,131
I AM HAVING MY PHOTO
TAKEN FOR THE CONTEST.
231
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,766
( laughing )
DON'T BOTHER.
232
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,735
I AM ENTERING
THE COMPETITION,
233
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,202
SO YOU HAVE NO CHANCE.
234
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,104
THE JUDGES ARE
BOUND TO PICK ME.
235
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:02,173
ONLY IF YOU
BRIBE THEM FIRST.
236
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:03,508
HOW DARE YOU?!
237
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,177
( shrieking )
238
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,046
PLEASE KEEP
YOUR GIRLS
239
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,781
UNDER CONTROL,
MONSIEUR.
240
00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:11,516
STOP THAT.
STOP IT!
241
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,552
WE WILL PHOTOGRAPH
YOU ALL TOGETHER,
242
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,554
AND CUT IT
INTO THREE.
243
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,489
NOW SIT DOWN
AND BEHAVE.
244
00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:18,924
Both:
YES, RENE.
245
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:22,627
LET ME SEE
246
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,529
THE TRUE SPIRIT
OF NOUVION.
247
00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:32,771
AFTER WHAT
I HAVE JUST SEEN,
248
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,673
IT'S GOING TO MAKE
249
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:36,575
A VERY HARD DECISION.
250
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:40,479
I WILL GO AND GET
THIS DEVELOPED
251
00:09:40,481 --> 00:09:42,246
IN THE PRIVACY
OF MY DARKROOM,
252
00:09:44,249 --> 00:09:47,185
WHERE I ALSO KEEP
MY BLOOD PRESSURE PILLS.
253
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,221
NOW, NO MORE SQUABBLING.
254
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:52,757
ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO, GET BACK
AND LOOK AFTER THE CAFE.
255
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,158
AND BE ASSURED,
256
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,394
THE DECISION
OF THE EDITOR IS FINAL.
257
00:09:57,429 --> 00:09:58,830
Both:
YES, RENE.
258
00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:03,802
OH, RENE, YOU ARE SO
GOOD FOR THOSE GIRLS.
259
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,637
THEY NEED
A STRICT DISCIPLINE.
260
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,606
I DO MY BEST,
EDITH.
261
00:10:09,074 --> 00:10:10,441
( Rene groans )
262
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,778
- GOOD MOANING.
- GOOD MOANING.
263
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,615
MONSIEUR LECLOCK
SAID THAT
264
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,249
I WOULD FOND
YOU HERE, RONNIE.
265
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,986
I HAVE A MASSAGE
FROM MICHELLE.
266
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,988
AND WHAT IS
THE MASSAGE?
267
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,089
IT IS ABOOT
THE PUNTING
268
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:27,492
OF THE FILLEN MIDINNA
WITH THE BOG BEEBIES.
269
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:35,000
"WE WILL TUNNEL INTO--
270
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:36,935
THE DUNGEON
OF HERR FLICK,
271
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:39,270
FROM THE OLD DISUSED
BAKERY NEXT DOOR,
272
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,640
AND STEAL THE PAINTING
FROM HIS SAFE TONIGHT."
273
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:44,242
OH, YES, YES. I SUPPOSE
SHE THINKS THAT I KEEP
274
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,177
A ROAD DRILL UNDER MY BED,
275
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:48,146
NOT TO MENTION
A WELDING MACHINE.
276
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,414
NO, SHE HAS GONE MAD!
277
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,482
MONSIEUR LECLOCK
278
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,885
IS AN EXPERIENCED
SOFEBRICKER.
279
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:56,721
HE HAS ALRIDDY
AGRODE TO DEE IT,
280
00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:59,190
AND HE HAS THE TOWELS
TO DO THE JIB.
281
00:11:00,225 --> 00:11:02,393
BUT HERR FLICK AND
HERR VON SMALLHAUSEN
282
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:03,795
WILL BE IN
THE DUNGEON TONIGHT.
283
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,163
YOU MUST
GET THEM OUT.
284
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,230
HOW?
285
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:09,034
YOU MUST TELEPHONE
THEM, ANINYMOUSLY,
286
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,536
AND SAY THAT
A SECRET MASSAGE
287
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:13,738
WILL BE PISSED IN
YOUR CAFE TONIGHT.
288
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:19,377
THE MASSAGE
WILL BE FILSE,
289
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,446
BUT IT WILL
LEAR THEM AWAY
290
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,547
FROM THEIR DINGEON.
291
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:25,050
OH, SHE HAS THOUGHT
OF EVERYTHING.
292
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,484
HOW COMFORTING.
293
00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:30,889
MICHELLE WILL
RANDYVOUS WITH YOU
294
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:32,323
IN THE SQUARE,
295
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:35,159
AT HALF-PISSED TIN.
296
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:38,396
I DO NOT RECALL HAVING
A RANDYVOUS IN THE SQUARE--
297
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:42,533
SINCE I WAS
A BACHELOR.
298
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,837
( sucks in air )
TSK, TSK, TSK,
299
00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:49,407
YOU MAKE THAT MOVE,
HE TAKE YOUR PAWN.
300
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,042
BE QUIET,
301
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,010
IT'S ALL PART
OF MY GAME PLAN.
302
00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:58,116
CHECKMATE.
303
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,818
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
304
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,854
I WITHDRAW MY MOVE.
305
00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:05,790
ANY COMPLAINT
WILL BE REGARDED
306
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,325
AS UNSPORTING.
307
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,127
I WITHDRAW.
308
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,663
I WAS BEING
TOO HASTY.
309
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,134
OH, DEAR,
I'M SORRY, COLONEL.
310
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:18,002
I SEEM TO HAVE
CHECKMATED YOU AGAIN.
311
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:21,273
IN THAT CASE,
312
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,844
YOU HAVE A TRICKY
PROBLEM TO SOLVE.
313
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:28,980
COLONEL,
314
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,649
I HAVE SOME
INTELLIGENCE,
315
00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:32,450
WHICH YOU MAY FIND
MOST INTERESTING.
316
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,185
WHAT IS THIS
INTELLIGENCE, HELGA?
317
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,154
HERR FLICK HAS SOMEHOW
OBTAINED THE PAINTING
318
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,222
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
WITH THE BIG BOOBIES.
319
00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:39,624
IT IS IN HIS SAFE.
320
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:41,025
BUT, HELGA,
321
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:43,795
YOU DO STILL HAVE
THE KEY TO HIS DUNGEON?
322
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,830
IN A FIT OF PIQUE,
I GAVE IT BACK.
323
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:48,767
HELGA! YOU SHOULD
HAVE MADE A COPY.
324
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:51,869
HOW CAN WE GET IN
TO STEAL THE PAINTING?
325
00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:54,773
COULD YOU NOT
DISGUISE YOURSELVES
326
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:57,609
AS RESISTANCE DESPERADOS
AND BLOW DOWN THE DOOR?
327
00:12:57,611 --> 00:13:00,111
BUT HERR FLICK AND
HIS LITTLE PYGMY FRIEND,
328
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,379
THEY INSIDE.
329
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:02,880
ALL THE BETTER.
330
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:05,283
YOU STICK THEM UP
WITH GUNS,
331
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,051
AND MAKE THEM
OPEN THE SAFE.
332
00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:09,387
YOU GET THE PAINTING,
THE RESISTANCE GETS THE BLAME.
333
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:11,323
WELL, IT DOES HAVE
334
00:13:11,325 --> 00:13:13,391
A CERTAIN
CRUDE SIMPLICITY,
335
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,226
BUT I REALLY DON'T THINK
336
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,429
I FANCY THE ROLE
OF DESPERADO.
337
00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:19,497
WE CAN USE
BERTORELLI'S MEN.
338
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:22,099
DO I GET A CUT WHEN
WE SELL THE PAINTING?
339
00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:23,668
WE GIVE YOU
OUR WORD.
340
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,537
OKEY-DOKEY.
BUT I TELL THEM
341
00:13:25,539 --> 00:13:27,004
IT'S A TRAINING EXERCISE,
342
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,673
OR THEY WANT
A CUT OF THE ACTION.
343
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,375
VERY WELL,
WE'LL DO IT
TONIGHT
344
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,576
AT MIDNIGHT.
345
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:34,178
( phone rings )
346
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:36,180
GOOD AFTERNOON,
347
00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:38,049
GESTAPO
SECRET HEADQUARTERS,
348
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:39,417
CAN I HELP YOU?
349
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:41,386
( disguising voice )
THIS IS A FRIEND.
350
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,722
GIVE ME HERR FLICK,
PLEASE.
351
00:13:43,724 --> 00:13:45,423
WE HAVE A FRIEND,
HERR FLICK.
352
00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:47,792
OUR FIRST!
353
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:49,961
PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO COME
ROUND FOR TEA ONE AFTERNOON?
354
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:53,598
THIS IS THE GESTAPO,
VON SMALLHAUSEN,
355
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,500
NOT THE WOMEN'S INSTITUTE.
356
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,201
THIS IS HERR FLICK.
357
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,371
IF YOU GO TO CAFE RENE
358
00:13:59,373 --> 00:14:02,039
TONIGHT
AT JUST BEFORE 10:00,
359
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:05,209
YOU MIGHT SEE A SECRET
MESSAGE BEING PASSED,
360
00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:07,645
WHICH COULD BE
OF INTEREST TO YOU.
361
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,581
AND WHAT IS THIS MESSAGE?
362
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:10,615
( phone clicks )
363
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,283
HE HAS RUNG OFF.
364
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,451
WHAT DID HE SAY?
365
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:15,587
WE MUST GO TO THE CAFE RENE
THIS EVENING,
366
00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:17,722
TO INTERCEPT
A SECRET MESSAGE.
367
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,357
THIS COULD PUT US BACK
368
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,325
IN UNCLE HEINIE'S
GOOD BOOKS.
369
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:23,862
BUT SURELY THEY WOULD NOT
PASS A MESSAGE IF THEY SEE
370
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,364
TWO SINISTER FIGURES
LIKE US, HERR FLICK.
371
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,900
FIGURES THAT STRIKE TERROR
372
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,168
INTO THE EYES OF ALL
THAT BEHOLD THEM,
373
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,838
AS THEY LIMP
THROUGH THE MISTS
374
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,641
OF THE NARROW
COBBLED STREETS OF NOUVION,
375
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:40,311
TO KEEP THEIR DATE
WITH DESTINY.
376
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:44,449
DO NOT LET THAT
PETER LORRE FILM
WE SAW LAST NIGHT
377
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,418
COMPLETELY DOMINATE
YOUR MIND, VON SMALLHAUSEN.
378
00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:47,552
I'M SORRY,
HERR FLICK.
379
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,421
WE WILL GO IN DISGUISE.
380
00:14:49,423 --> 00:14:50,755
I SHALL GO
381
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,791
AS A DEBONAIR
MAN ABOUT TOWN.
382
00:14:52,793 --> 00:14:54,793
YOU WILL GO
AS MY LADY COMPANION.
383
00:14:54,795 --> 00:14:57,995
BUT I-- I HAVE
NOTHING TO WEAR.
384
00:14:57,997 --> 00:15:00,632
THERE IS, IN THE GESTAPO
DISGUISE CUPBOARD,
385
00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:02,133
A VERY PRETTY
PINK FROCK.
386
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:05,703
YOU WILL ALSO FIND
A BOX OF ACCESSORIES.
387
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,839
WILL WE BE
ON OUR FIRST DATE,
388
00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:09,641
OR ARE WE GOING STEADY?
389
00:15:09,643 --> 00:15:11,743
WHAT HAS THAT
GOT TO DO WITH IT?
390
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,678
WELL, IT WILL INFLUENCE
391
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,647
MY CHOICE OF UNDERGARMENT.
392
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:18,082
DO NOT MENTION UNDERGARMENTS,
VON SMALLHAUSEN.
393
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,084
IT REMINDS ME TOO MUCH
OF THE FRUIT
394
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,420
MY UNCLE HEINIE HAS
FORBIDDEN ME TO PICK.
395
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,888
I'M SORRY, HERR FLICK.
396
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:26,057
GO AND TITIVATE YOURSELF
IMMEDIATELY.
397
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,225
AND MAKE SURE
YOU SHAVE YOUR LEGS.
398
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:29,627
IS THAT NECESSARY?
399
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,563
SENIOR GESTAPO OFFICERS
400
00:15:31,565 --> 00:15:33,230
DO NOT GO OUT ON THE TOWN
401
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:35,533
WITH HAIRY-LEGGED MIDGETS.
402
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:42,640
IS IT TRUE BLONDES
HAVE MORE FUN?
403
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:43,942
YES,
404
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,376
BUT NOT IN YOUR CASE.
405
00:15:47,412 --> 00:15:49,413
♪ ...AND LOVE ♪
406
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,449
♪ FELL OUT ♪
407
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,285
♪ WITH ME-EEE. ♪
408
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,954
PEASANTS!
409
00:16:01,326 --> 00:16:04,161
GOOD EVENING, MONSIEUR.
GOOD EVENING, MADAME.
410
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:05,362
GOOD EVENING.
411
00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:07,065
( falsetto )
GOOD EVENING.
412
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,100
I'M AFRAID YOU HAVE
JUST MISSED THE SINGING.
413
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,802
WE ARE
MUSIC LOVERS,
414
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:12,604
SO THAT
IS GOOD NEWS.
415
00:16:12,606 --> 00:16:13,905
BRING ME
THE WINE LIST.
416
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:15,306
OF COURSE, MONSIEUR.
417
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:18,309
RENE, IT IS HERR FLICK
AND HERR VON SMALLHAUSEN
418
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,377
IN DISGUISE,
AT THAT TABLE THERE.
419
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:21,846
THE PLAN
IS WORKING.
420
00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:23,280
JUST ACT NORMALLY.
421
00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:25,149
GET TO THE DOOR;
GIVE MONSIEUR LECLERC
THE SIGNAL.
422
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,317
YES.
423
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,220
I WILL JUST SEE
IF IT IS RAINING.
424
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,026
IT IS NOT RAINING.
425
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:37,662
THE WINE LIST,
MONSIEUR.
426
00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:41,298
SHALL WE ORDER
CHAMPAGNE?
427
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,533
CERTAINLY NOT!
428
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,169
I DO NOT BUY CHAMPAGNE
FOR UGLY GIRLS LIKE YOU.
429
00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:49,473
BUT OTTO, DARLING,
430
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:51,876
SURELY WE COULD SPLASH OUT
ON A BOTTLE OF BUBBLY?
431
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:55,079
DO NOT PUSH YOUR LUCK,
VON SMALLHAUSEN.
432
00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,615
RENE, DO YOU
THINK IT WILL WORK?
433
00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,450
PROVIDED MONSIEUR
LECLERC HAS NOT
434
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,085
GONE TO SLEEP
IN A DOORWAY--
435
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:02,319
HE HAS BEEN
OUT THERE AN HOUR.
436
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,656
I DO HOPE HE LOOKS
SUSPICIOUS ENOUGH.
437
00:17:08,226 --> 00:17:10,594
YOU CANNOT LOOK
MUCH MORE SUSPICIOUS
THAN THAT.
438
00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:13,330
MATCHES, LOVELY MATCHES.
439
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:15,399
WHO WILL BUY SOME MATCHES
440
00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:17,468
FROM A POOR OLD
MATCH SELLER?
441
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:19,336
COME OVER HERE WITH ME,
BY THE BAR,
442
00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:20,838
POOR OLD MATCH SELLER,
443
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,573
WHOM I DO NOT KNOW.
444
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,842
I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE
SOMETHING FOR ME.
445
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,111
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN BEING SUSPICIOUS
446
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:29,313
AND BEING DERANGED,
YOU SILLY OLD FOOL.
447
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,182
THEY HAVE NOT
NOTICED.
448
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:33,117
GOD KNOWS HOW
THEY CAN HAVE MISSED YOU.
449
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:34,618
GO OUT
AND DO IT AGAIN.
450
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,854
I GO. I COME BACK.
451
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:39,791
ARE YOU KEEPING
YOUR EYES SKINNED?
452
00:17:39,793 --> 00:17:41,759
YES, BUT I CANNOT FIND
453
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,695
ANY CHATEAU-BOTTLED WINES.
454
00:17:43,697 --> 00:17:45,296
FORGET
THE WINE LIST.
455
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,565
WE ARE LOOKING
FOR SOMETHING
SUSPICIOUS.
456
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,466
VERY WELL, HERR FLICK.
457
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:51,402
AND STOP EYEING UP
THE MEN
458
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,171
AT THE NEXT TABLE,
459
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,471
AND COVER
YOURSELF UP,
460
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:56,174
YOU ARE SHOWING
TOO MUCH LEG.
461
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:58,142
I WILL NOT BE
TWO-TIMED
462
00:17:58,144 --> 00:18:00,678
BY AN OVER
TITIVATED TART.
463
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,246
I'M SORRY, DARLING.
464
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,748
AND DO NOT CALL ME "DARLING."
465
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,850
BUT HE KEEPS WINKING AT ME.
466
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,819
HE'S OBVIOUSLY DRUNK.
IGNORE HIM.
467
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:10,588
HAVE YOU CHOSEN YET,
MONSIEUR?
468
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,389
YES, I WILL
HAVE A GLASS
469
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:14,792
OF YOUR FINEST
COGNAC.
470
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,528
AND FOR THIS REMARKABLE
LOOKING LADY?
471
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,563
SHE WILL
HAVE A GLASS
472
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:21,432
OF YOUR MOST
INFERIOR WINE.
473
00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:24,736
MATCHES!
474
00:18:24,738 --> 00:18:27,071
WHO WILL BUY MY MATCHES?
475
00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:28,740
LOOK, AN OLD
MATCH SELLER.
476
00:18:28,742 --> 00:18:30,307
AND A STRANGER
TO ME.
477
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,009
I WONDER WHAT
HE WANTS HERE?
478
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,044
Mamma:
ERNEST?
479
00:18:33,046 --> 00:18:35,646
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
480
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,949
I HAVE BEEN
WAITING UPSTAIRS
481
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,617
FOR HOURS.
482
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,652
ARE YOU NOT
COMING UP?
483
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,654
I AM JUST PASSING
484
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,623
THIS SECRET MESSAGE,
FANNY.
485
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,824
WHAT WAS THAT?
486
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:49,460
( louder )
I AM JUST PASSING
THIS SECRET MESSAGE.
487
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,629
A SECRET MESSAGE?
488
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,530
WHAT SECRET MESSAGE?
489
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,833
GET BACK TO BED,
YOU SILLY OLD BAT.
490
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:58,402
YOU CAN GET KNOTTED.
491
00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:02,339
AHEM.
492
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:04,809
I HAVE BROUGHT YOU
THIS MESSAGE, MONSIEUR.
493
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:05,877
STOP!
494
00:19:06,945 --> 00:19:08,712
I WILL TAKE
THIS MESSAGE.
495
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:10,481
FOR I AM
NONE OTHER THAN
496
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,383
HERR FLICK
OF THE GESTAPO.
497
00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:15,586
NO! WHAT A SURPRISE.
498
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,822
- ( scream in unison )
- ( glass breaks )
499
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,824
MY MASTERLY
500
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,492
USE OF DISGUISE
501
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,927
HAS FOOLED
YOU ALL.
502
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:24,896
READ THE MESSAGE,
VON SMALLHAUSEN.
503
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:29,733
"THE TWO BIRDS
YOU ARE LOOKING FOR
504
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,869
WILL BE IN
THE HOLLOW TREE,
505
00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:34,138
20 PACES
ALONG THE RIVER
506
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:36,373
FROM THE OLD BRIDGE,
AND 40 PACES
507
00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:39,143
INTO THE WOODS
AT MIDNIGHT."
508
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:41,012
HMM, "THE TWO BIRDS,"
509
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:43,681
BIRDS FLY,
AND SO DO AIRMEN.
510
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,283
AHA!
511
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:47,919
THE BRITISH AIRMEN
ARE HIDDEN IN THE TREE.
512
00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:50,754
WE WILL GO THERE AT MIDNIGHT
AND APPREHEND THEM.
513
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:53,324
NOBODY IS TO
LEAVE THE CAFE
514
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,692
OR GO TO
THE WOODS,
515
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,228
OR THERE WILL BE
SEVERE PENALTIES.
516
00:19:59,164 --> 00:20:00,664
HERR VON SMALLHAUSEN?
517
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:02,766
YOU FORGOT YOUR HANDBAG.
518
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,204
AND YOUR SEAMS
ARE CROOKED.
519
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:10,007
OH, RENE, IT WORKED.
520
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,843
THEY WILL BE OUT
OF THE DUNGEON
521
00:20:11,845 --> 00:20:13,344
WHEN WE BREAK IN TONIGHT.
522
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,346
GO AND GET
YOUR SAFEBREAKING
EQUIPMENT,
523
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:18,349
WE WILL SET OFF
FOR THE BAKERY
VERY SHORTLY.
524
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:19,917
- ERNEST?
- HEH?
525
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,253
ARE YOU NOT
COMING UP TO BED,
526
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,255
MY LOVE?
527
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:25,923
I FEEL RATHER...
528
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,524
PLAYFUL.
529
00:20:28,526 --> 00:20:29,927
FIRST,
I MUST GET MY DRILL
530
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,562
AND DYNAMITE, FANNY.
531
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:36,467
AH, WELL,
532
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:38,069
ON SECOND THOUGHTS,
533
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:40,671
I THINK I WILL HAVE
AN EARLY NIGHT.
534
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:53,017
THIS MUST BE THE TREE,
HERR FLICK.
535
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:54,651
SHINE
YOUR TORCH IN IT,
536
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:57,054
AND SEE IF
THE BRITISH AIRMEN
ARE IN THERE.
537
00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:08,565
THERE ARE JUST
THESE TWO PHEASANTS,
HERR FLICK.
538
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,801
THERE IS A NOTE ON THEM.
WHAT DOES IT SAY?
539
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:13,271
"DEAR RENE,
540
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:16,440
THESE ARE THE TWO BIRDS
541
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,609
TO PUT ON YOUR MENU.
542
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,477
SIGNED,
543
00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:22,613
A. POACHER."
544
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,115
WE HAVE BEEN LED
545
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,517
ON A WILD GOOSE CHASE,
VON SMALLHAUSEN.
546
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:27,785
( animal squeaks )
547
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:28,953
WHAT WAS THAT?
548
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:30,421
( squeak )
549
00:21:31,489 --> 00:21:32,924
( squeak )
550
00:21:36,194 --> 00:21:39,363
I HAVE BEEN STRUCK
BY A HAZELNUT.
551
00:21:39,365 --> 00:21:40,998
( squeaking )
552
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:44,035
WHAT IMPUDENCE!
WE ARE THE GESTAPO!
553
00:21:44,037 --> 00:21:46,103
( machine gun firing )
554
00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:54,178
WELL?
555
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:55,679
WE HAVE COME UP
556
00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:56,981
UNDER THE SAFE
OF HERR FLICK.
557
00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:58,549
WE HAVE TO CUT AWAY
AT THE METAL NOW.
558
00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:00,017
THAT IS MONSIEUR
LECLERC'S JOB.
559
00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:01,252
I AM READY.
560
00:22:01,254 --> 00:22:02,620
IS THE COAST
STILL CLEAR?
561
00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:05,089
OFFICER CRABTREE IS
STANDING BY IN THE SQUARE.
562
00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:07,091
IF ANYONE COMES,
HE WILL LET US KNOW.
563
00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:16,167
REMIND ME NEVER TO GO
SAFEBREAKING WITH YOU AGAIN.
564
00:22:23,308 --> 00:22:25,176
THAT SHOULD
JUST BE ENOUGH
565
00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:26,944
EXPLOSIVE
TO BLOW UP THE DOOR.
566
00:22:28,713 --> 00:22:30,548
GOOD MOANING.
567
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,751
WIT ARE YOU DEEING
568
00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:35,353
LITTERING OUTSOD
569
00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:36,754
THE SECRET HEADQUITTERS
570
00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:38,489
OF HERR FLOCK
OF THE GESTOOPOO
571
00:22:38,491 --> 00:22:40,391
AT THIS TOME OF NIT?
572
00:22:40,393 --> 00:22:42,627
Gruber:
WE WERE JUST--
573
00:22:42,629 --> 00:22:44,462
TAKING THE NIGHT AIR,
OFFICER.
574
00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:46,631
YOU MIST ACCIMPANY ME
575
00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:48,366
TO THE POLOOSE STOTION.
576
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:49,967
WHATEVER FOR?
577
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:53,003
I SUSPECT YOU ARE
COMMITTING A BIGLERY.
578
00:22:54,706 --> 00:22:56,840
AND WHAT IF
WE DON'T WANT TO GO?
579
00:22:56,842 --> 00:22:58,876
THEN I SHALL HOV
580
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,944
TO USE FIERCE.
581
00:23:00,946 --> 00:23:02,780
I AM OUTNIMBERED,
582
00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:04,948
BUT I AM A BOG MIN,
583
00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:06,717
AND I CAN TIK YOU
584
00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:08,686
ON ANY DEE OF THE WICK.
585
00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:10,521
( whistles )
586
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,967
MY MEN, THEY GOT
NO RESPECT FOR THE FUZZ.
587
00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:25,269
OKAY,
588
00:23:25,271 --> 00:23:26,870
I LIGHT THE FUSE.
589
00:23:36,181 --> 00:23:38,082
THIS BETTER BE RIGHT,
BERTORELLI.
590
00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:40,685
YOU WILL HARDLY
NOTICE ANYTHING,
COLONEL.
591
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,527
I THINK MAYBE
I OVERDO
592
00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:51,229
THE DYNAMITE.
593
00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:57,134
HANDS UP!
594
00:23:58,136 --> 00:23:59,704
THERE'S NO ONE HERE.
595
00:23:59,706 --> 00:24:02,172
WITHOUT HERR FLICK
AND VON SMALLHAUSEN,
596
00:24:02,174 --> 00:24:03,674
HOW ARE WE GOING
TO OPEN THE SAFE?
597
00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:06,377
MAYBE ONE OF MY MEN
KNOWS HOW TO DO IT.
598
00:24:06,379 --> 00:24:08,145
SAFEBREAKING
599
00:24:08,147 --> 00:24:10,147
IS A VERY COMPLICATED
BUSINESS, CAPTAIN.
600
00:24:10,149 --> 00:24:11,716
THAT LOT WON'T
HAVE A CLUE.
601
00:24:11,718 --> 00:24:12,816
STEP FORWARD,
602
00:24:12,818 --> 00:24:14,619
ANYONE WHO KNOWS
HOW TO CRACK THE SAFE.
603
00:24:18,257 --> 00:24:19,757
THAT'S MY BOYS.
604
00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:21,492
EVERYONE HAS
DONE THE PORRIDGE.
605
00:24:22,661 --> 00:24:24,128
OKAY, I TAKE YOU.
606
00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:25,396
THE REST OF YOU,
WAIT OUTSIDE.
607
00:24:25,398 --> 00:24:27,398
- ( men groan )
- I SAID OUTSIDE!
608
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,199
YOU KEEP WATCH
FOR THE SNOOPERS.
609
00:24:30,369 --> 00:24:32,403
GRUBER, LOOK.
610
00:24:32,405 --> 00:24:34,472
HERR FLICK
HAS A LEAGUE TABLE
611
00:24:34,474 --> 00:24:37,575
OF ALL THE RESISTANCE
SUSPECTS IN THE AREA.
612
00:24:37,577 --> 00:24:40,645
LOOK, HERE IS RENE.
613
00:24:40,647 --> 00:24:43,247
HOW HANDSOME
HE LOOKS.
614
00:24:43,249 --> 00:24:46,950
BUT WHY ARE THERE
TWO PHOTOGRAPHS OF HIM?
615
00:24:46,952 --> 00:24:50,521
Colonel:
I THINK THAT'S
HIS LATE TWIN BROTHER.
616
00:24:50,523 --> 00:24:52,523
THE ONE YOU SHOT.
617
00:24:52,525 --> 00:24:54,725
PLEASE, COLONEL,
DO NOT REMIND ME.
618
00:24:54,727 --> 00:24:57,861
THE VISION OF HIM
HAUNTS ME STILL.
619
00:24:57,863 --> 00:24:59,764
ACCORDING TO THIS CHART,
620
00:24:59,766 --> 00:25:02,099
RENE IS HIGH UP
ON THE LIST OF SUSPECTS.
621
00:25:02,101 --> 00:25:04,635
THAT IS BECAUSE
HE IS VERY POPULAR.
622
00:25:04,637 --> 00:25:06,270
IF I WAS HERR FLICK,
623
00:25:06,272 --> 00:25:07,905
HE'D BE NUMBER ONE.
624
00:25:12,043 --> 00:25:14,244
I HAVE CUT THROUGH
THE BOTTOM OF THE SAFE.
625
00:25:14,246 --> 00:25:15,646
WHERE IS
THE PAINTING?
626
00:25:15,648 --> 00:25:17,581
IT IS INSIDE,
ON A SHELF.
627
00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:20,083
SOME SAFEBREAKER.
628
00:25:20,085 --> 00:25:22,286
MIND OUT, I WILL GET IT.
629
00:25:24,923 --> 00:25:27,825
COME ON, BABY,
OPEN FOR ALVARO.
630
00:25:27,827 --> 00:25:30,761
( lock clicks )
631
00:25:30,763 --> 00:25:32,330
IT'S DONE.
632
00:25:32,332 --> 00:25:33,798
RIGHT, YOU WAIT
OUTSIDE NOW.
633
00:25:45,043 --> 00:25:46,977
LIEUTENANT GRUBER!
634
00:25:47,979 --> 00:25:49,313
AARGHH!
635
00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:53,183
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
GRUBER?
636
00:25:54,853 --> 00:25:56,454
IN THERE--
637
00:25:56,456 --> 00:25:58,756
THE DISEMBODIED HEAD
638
00:25:58,758 --> 00:26:01,024
OF RENE'S TWIN BROTHER!
639
00:26:01,026 --> 00:26:04,228
ALL WHITE AND GHOSTLY.
640
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:07,398
AND HE SPOKE MY NAME.
641
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,133
Rene:
I AM STUCK.
PULL ME OUT.
642
00:26:10,135 --> 00:26:11,802
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
GRUBER?
643
00:26:11,804 --> 00:26:13,604
WHERE'S THE PAINTING?
644
00:26:13,606 --> 00:26:15,406
NO PAINTING.
645
00:26:15,408 --> 00:26:17,941
JUST THAT
HORRIBLE HEAD.
646
00:26:17,943 --> 00:26:19,910
OH, WILL THIS
RESTLESS SPIRIT
647
00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:21,746
NEVER LEAVE ME
IN PEACE?
648
00:26:21,748 --> 00:26:23,414
AARGHH!
649
00:26:24,783 --> 00:26:26,817
WHAT RUBBISH.
650
00:26:29,988 --> 00:26:31,489
( gasps )
651
00:26:31,491 --> 00:26:33,691
OH, COLONEL
VON STROHM,
652
00:26:33,693 --> 00:26:35,359
I CAN EXPLAIN--
653
00:26:38,296 --> 00:26:40,230
HE SPOKE MY NAME.
654
00:26:40,232 --> 00:26:41,932
DID HE MENTION MY NAME?
655
00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:43,934
NOT YET.
656
00:26:43,936 --> 00:26:45,936
OH, THANK GOD!
MAMMA MIA.
657
00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:47,605
AHHH!
WAIT FOR ME.
658
00:26:48,607 --> 00:26:50,307
WE ARE DONE FOR.
659
00:26:50,309 --> 00:26:52,309
THE GERMANS ARE
ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE WALL.
660
00:26:52,311 --> 00:26:53,343
WHAT?!
661
00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:55,145
LIEUTENANT GRUBER
OPENED THE DOOR,
662
00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:56,947
AND THE COLONEL--
THEY BOTH SAW ME.
663
00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:59,182
OOOH! WHAT ARE
WE GOING TO DO?
664
00:26:59,184 --> 00:27:01,385
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
665
00:27:01,387 --> 00:27:02,986
IF I AM CAUGHT,
666
00:27:02,988 --> 00:27:04,688
I SHALL SAY IT WAS
ALL YOUR IDEA.
667
00:27:04,690 --> 00:27:06,957
I THINK I SHOULD TELL YOU
THAT YOU HAVE JUST
668
00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:08,992
LESSENED YOUR CHANCES
OF WINNING
669
00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:11,161
THE SPIRIT OF NOUVION
COMPETITION.
670
00:27:11,163 --> 00:27:13,196
WE HAVE WHAT WE CAME FOR.
GIVE ME THE PAINTING.
671
00:27:13,198 --> 00:27:15,466
NO, IT WILL BE SAFE
DOWN MY TROUSERS.
672
00:27:15,468 --> 00:27:17,468
THERE ARE GERMANS EVERYWHERE.
WHAT ARE WE TO DO?
673
00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:19,603
WHAT EVERY FRENCHMAN
DOES IN AN EMERGENCY--
674
00:27:19,605 --> 00:27:21,305
LEG IT FOR THE HILLS.
675
00:27:23,341 --> 00:27:25,743
IF I DO NOT WIN
THAT SPIRIT OF NOUVION
CONTEST,
676
00:27:25,745 --> 00:27:27,545
I WILL TELL MICHELLE
677
00:27:27,547 --> 00:27:28,979
THAT YOU HAVE A FORGERY
678
00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:31,615
DOWN YOUR OTHER TROUSER LEG,
WHICH YOU INTEND TO GIVE HER.
679
00:27:35,554 --> 00:27:37,655
YOU WOULD NOT DO THAT.
680
00:27:37,657 --> 00:27:39,723
OH, BELIEVE ME, RENE,
681
00:27:39,725 --> 00:27:42,726
THE DECISION OF THE WIFE
OF THE EDITOR IS FINAL.
682
00:27:43,728 --> 00:27:46,497
OH, ALL RIGHT.
YOU WILL WIN.
683
00:27:46,499 --> 00:27:48,499
MICHELLE,
WAIT FOR US.
684
00:27:50,034 --> 00:27:52,937
( theme music playing )