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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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( theme music playing )
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LIFE HAS FINALLY GOT
TOO HOT FOR ME
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HERE IN NOUVION,
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SO I HAVE DECIDED
TO LEG IT FOR SPAIN.
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AS YOU SEE,
I AM DISGUISED--
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AS AN ONION SELLER.
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I AM ALSO GOING TO BE
TAKING THE PAINTING
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OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
WITH THE BIG BOOBIES,
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WHICH WE STOLE LAST NIGHT
FROM THE SAFE OF HERR FLICK
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BY TUNNELING THROUGH
FROM THE OLD BAKERY NEXT DOOR.
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UNFORTUNATELY, AS I WAS
REMOVING THE PAINTING
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FROM THE BACK OF THE SAFE,
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LIEUTENANT GRUBER
OPENED THE FRONT,
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AND CAUGHT
A GLIMPSE OF ME.
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FORTUNATELY, HE THOUGHT
THAT I WAS THE GHOST
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OF MY OWN DEAD TWIN BROTHER,
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BECAUSE I WAS COVERED
IN FLOUR AT THE TIME.
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SO, TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE,
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I AM GOING TO PINCH THE BICYCLE
OF OFFICER CRABTREE,
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AND HEAD FOR
THE SPANISH BORDER.
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IF MY LEGS HOLD OUT,
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I SHOULD BE THERE
BY THE END OF THE WAR.
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RENE,
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WHERE ARE
YOU GOING?
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TO SPAIN, MY CHILD.
I AM GOING TO SELL
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THE PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA,
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AND THEN SEND FOR YOU.
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I THOUGHT YOU GAVE
THE PAINTING
TO MICHELLE,
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TO SELL FOR
RESISTANCE FUNDS?
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THAT WAS A FORGERY.
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THE ORIGINAL IS
IN MY KNAPSACK.
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OH, RENE,
DO NOT LEAVE ME.
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CAREFUL, YOU WILL
CRUSH MY ONIONS.
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OH, RENE,
TAKE ME WITH YOU.
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I WILL ENDURE
ANY HARDSHIP
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TO BE BY YOUR SIDE.
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700 MILES ON MY CROSSBAR
MAY BE TOO MUCH.
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GOODBYE, YVETTE.
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EXPECT A CARD.
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I WILL SIGN IT
"A. SPANIARD,"
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THEN YOU CAN REST ASSURED
IT COMES FROM ME.
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OH, RENE!
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RENE!
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING
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HOLDING THAT SERVANT GIRL
IN YOUR ARMS?
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AND WHY IS SHE CRYING?
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YOU STUPID WOMAN!
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CAN YOU NOT SEE
THAT THESE ONIONS
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ARE MAKING HER WEEP?
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I WAS JUST WIPING
HER POOR EYES.
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NOW GO BACK TO BED,
YVETTE,
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AND DO NOT LOOK BACK.
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DO AS HE SAYS.
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I WILL BE BRAVE.
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( Yvette wails )
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RENE,
YOU CANNOT RUN AWAY.
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I AM SURE THE GERMANS
WILL ARREST ME
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FOR BREAKING INTO THE SAFE
OF HERR FLICK.
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NONSENSE.
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ONE QUICK GLIMPSE
OF YOUR FACE
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COVERED WITH FLOUR
INSIDE A SAFE?
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NO ONE WILL BE ABLE
TO PROVE IT WAS YOU.
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OH, RENE,
I WILL SWEAR
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THAT WE HAVE BEEN
IN BED TOGETHER,
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IN A PASSIONATE
EMBRACE, ALL NIGHT.
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WELL, THERE GOES
THE CASE FOR THE DEFENSE.
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THERE YOU ARE,
RENE.
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WE WANT A WORD
WITH YOU.
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GOOD MORNING, COLONEL,
LIEUTENANT, CAPTAIN.
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SOMEBODY BROKE
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INTO HERR FLICK'S SAFE
LAST NIGHT.
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YES, WE DID.
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BUT SOMEONE HAS
BROKEN IN FROM THE BACK,
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AND STOLEN THE PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA.
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AND THIS MORNING,
A TRAIL OF FLOUR FROM THE BAKERY
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HAS LED US TO THE DOOR
OF YOUR CAFE.
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- NO.
- YES.
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NOW YOU TELL THE TRUTH,
OR YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE.
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WHAT YOU HAVE
JUST TOLD ME EXPLAINS
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A MYSTERIOUS EVENT THAT HAPPENED
JUST A FEW MOMENTS AGO.
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A DISREPUTABLE STRANGER,
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ALL COVERED IN FLOUR,
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ENTERED THROUGH THAT VERY DOOR
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AND TRIED TO SELL ME
THE PAINTING
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OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
WITH THE BIG BOOBIES.
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I KNEW YOU WOULD HAVE
AN EXPLANATION.
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AND WHAT
DID YOU DO?
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HE SENT HIM PACKING.
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NO... NO.
NO, NO.
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YOU ARE HALF ASLEEP,
MY DEAREST.
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NO, I CONFISCATED
THE PAINTING,
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AND THEN
I SENT HIM PACKING.
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OH, YES.
I WAS HALF ASLEEP.
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WHERE IS
THE PAINTING NOW?
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I WAS JUST ABOUT
TO CYCLE OVER,
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AND GIVE IT TO YOU.
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EXCELLENT.
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LIEUTENANT GRUBER
SWEARS HE SAW SOMEONE,
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WHO LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU,
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STEAL IT FROM THE SAFE.
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THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE.
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THE MAN LOOKED
NOTHING AT ALL
LIKE RENE.
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HE WAS SHORT
AND SKINNY,
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WITH PIGGY EYES
AND A SQUINT.
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HE HAD A SCAR
FROM HERE TO HERE,
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TWO FRONT TEETH
WERE MISSING.
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ALSO,
HE HAD A LIMP.
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I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU WERE HALF ASLEEP?
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I WAS.
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IF I'D BEEN FULLY AWAKE,
I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE
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TO GIVE YOU A MORE
DETAILED DESCRIPTION.
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THERE YOU ARE,
COLONEL.
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A SIMPLE CASE OF
MISTAKEN IDENTITY.
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I THINK WE SHOULD
GIVE RENE
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THE BENEFIT
OF THE DOUBT, COLONEL.
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WELL, FROM NOW ON,
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KEEP YOUR NOSE CLEAN.
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- YES, COLONEL.
- COME ON.
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IF YOU DON'T,
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YOU WILL BE
IN THE DEEP DOO-DAH.
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I SUSPECT THAT YOU
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HAVE BEEN
A NAUGHTY BOY, RENE,
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BUT I DID NOT WANT
TO GET YOU INTO TROUBLE.
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THANK YOU,
LIEUTENANT.
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IF THERE IS EVER ANYTHING
I CAN DO IN RETURN.
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YES, WELL, NO DOUBT,
I SHALL THINK OF SOMETHING.
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UNTIL THEN.
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UNTIL THEN.
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OH, RENE,
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THAT WAS A CLOSE CALL.
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MY LEGS HAVE GONE
ALL WOBBLY.
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LIEUTENANT GRUBER
SAVED OUR BACON.
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HE KNOWS IT WAS ME.
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NEXT TIME HE COMES
TO DINNER,
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WE WILL MAKE SURE THAT
HE HAS THE BEST TABLE
BY THE WINDOW.
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LET US HOPE THAT
IS ALL HE WANTS.
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( bell rings )
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GOOD MOANING,
HERR FLOCK,
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AND GOOD MOANING TO YOU,
HERR VON SMELLHORSEN.
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IT IS NOT
A GOOD MORNING.
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I WISH TO REPORT
A SERIOUS BURGLARY.
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AND WHAT HAS BEEN BIGGLED?
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LAST NIGHT,
SOMEONE BLEW DOWN
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THE DOOR TO MY SECRET
HEADQUARTERS,
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BROKE INTO MY SAFE,
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AND STOLE
A VALUABLE PAINTING.
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CAN YOU DESCROOB
THIS PINTING?
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IT WAS THE FALLEN MADONNA
BY VAN CLOMP.
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THE ONE WITH
THE BIG BOOBIES.
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THE FILLEN MIDINNA
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WITH THE BOG BEEBIES.
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I MAY BE ABLE TO HELP YOU,
HERR FLOCK.
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I SAW THE MIN
WHO DEED THE DOOD.
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YOU DOD? UH, YOU DID?
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I WAS OUTSOD
YOUR HEADQUITTERS,
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WHEN I SAW
SOME POOPLE
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ACTING IN
A SUSPICIOUS
MINNER.
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WHY DID YOU
NOT ARREST THEM?
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BEFORE I COULD,
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THEY HIT ME ON THE HOD,
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AND I PISSED OUT.
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DID YOU RECOGNIZE
THESES MEN?
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I HAD NEVER SEEN THEM
BEFORE IN MY LOAF,
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BUT I HAVE DROAN
A ROUGH SKOTCH
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WITH MY PINCIL.
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THERE WILL BE
A GENEROUS REWARD
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FOR INFORMATION
LEADING
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TO THE ARREST
OF THESE PEOPLE.
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00:06:39,878 --> 00:06:41,444
ALTHOUGH,
FROM THIS SKETCH,
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THEY APPEAR TO BE
FROM ANOTHER PLANET.
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WHAT IS THE REWOD?
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100 FRANCS.
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THAT'S NOT MUCH.
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I'VE GOT MORE THAN THAT
IN MY PIGGY BANK.
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MAKE THAT 100 FRANCS
AND HIS PIGGY BANK.
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GO TO IT.
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I SHALL DO MY BUST.
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00:07:00,564 --> 00:07:01,831
COME.
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WHEN WILL I LEARN
TO KEEP MY TRAP SHUT?
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00:07:04,736 --> 00:07:06,436
PERHAPS WHEN
YOU ARE TALLER.
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DO YOU THINK THIS IS
THE ORIGINAL, GRUBER?
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I DON'T TRUST RENE.
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00:07:13,312 --> 00:07:14,811
OH, YES, COLONEL.
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I RECOGNIZE THIS
LITTLE CIRCULAR MARK,
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00:07:17,081 --> 00:07:19,081
FROM WHEN I HID IT
IN MY QUARTERS.
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00:07:19,083 --> 00:07:21,551
IS THAT THE SECRET SIGN
OF THE ARTIST?
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00:07:21,553 --> 00:07:23,386
NO, THAT IS WHERE
188
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I PUT A DAMP GLASS
OF SCHNAPPS ON IT.
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GENERAL
VON KLINKERHOFFEN!
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GOOD MORNING,
GENTLEMEN.
191
00:07:34,599 --> 00:07:36,899
THE TOWN IS ABUZZ
WITH RUMOR.
192
00:07:36,901 --> 00:07:39,336
IT SEEMS THAT THERE
WAS A BURGLARY CARRIED OUT
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00:07:39,338 --> 00:07:42,038
AT THE GESTAPO HEADQUARTERS,
AND A CERTAIN PAINTING,
194
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,540
THAT WAS THOUGHT
TO BE MISSING,
195
00:07:44,542 --> 00:07:45,942
IS AGAIN MISSING.
196
00:07:45,944 --> 00:07:48,845
HAVE YOU ANYTHING
TO ADD TO THESE RUMORS?
197
00:07:50,013 --> 00:07:51,981
HAVE WE ANYTHING
TO ADD, GRUBER?
198
00:07:51,983 --> 00:07:54,484
I THINK
WE'RE ABOUT TO.
199
00:07:55,820 --> 00:07:57,821
DON'T TELL ME THE NEWS
IS ALREADY IN THE PAPER.
200
00:07:57,823 --> 00:07:59,055
NO, GENERAL.
201
00:07:59,057 --> 00:08:01,190
BUT THERE'S
GOOD NEWS FOR YOU
202
00:08:01,192 --> 00:08:02,859
UNDER THIS PAPER.
203
00:08:03,861 --> 00:08:05,395
THE PAINTING
IS SAFE.
204
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:07,430
IT WAS HANDED TO US
A FEW MOMENTS AGO,
205
00:08:07,432 --> 00:08:09,265
ANONYMOUSLY.
206
00:08:09,267 --> 00:08:11,401
WE WERE JUST GOING
TO BRING IT TO YOU.
207
00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:12,969
OH, THIS IS
SPLENDID NEWS.
208
00:08:12,971 --> 00:08:15,004
THE FUHRER WILL
BE DELIGHTED.
209
00:08:15,006 --> 00:08:16,906
I SHALL TAKE IT
TO MY QUARTERS,
210
00:08:16,908 --> 00:08:18,174
FOR SAFEKEEPING.
211
00:08:18,176 --> 00:08:20,577
I SUSPECT THAT
THIS BREAK IN WAS
212
00:08:20,579 --> 00:08:22,945
CARRIED OUT BY YOU
WITHOUT MY PERMISSION,
213
00:08:22,947 --> 00:08:25,047
BUT I SHALL
TURN A BLIND EYE.
214
00:08:25,049 --> 00:08:27,149
VERY NEARLY TRUE,
GENERAL.
215
00:08:27,151 --> 00:08:29,419
MEDALS MAY BE IN ORDER
FOR YOU TWO.
216
00:08:30,621 --> 00:08:32,856
I WAS THE ONE WHO
REVEALED ITS LOCATION.
217
00:08:32,858 --> 00:08:35,458
I SHALL PIN YOURS ON,
PERSONALLY.
218
00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:37,794
WHAT ABOUT ME?
219
00:08:37,796 --> 00:08:39,962
MY MEN BLEW
THE SAFE.
220
00:08:39,964 --> 00:08:42,365
STICK ANOTHER FEATHER
IN YOUR HAT.
221
00:08:44,668 --> 00:08:46,168
IN THE MEANTIME,
GRUBER,
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00:08:46,170 --> 00:08:48,505
HOW IS THE FIRST EDITION
OF THE NEWSPAPER
PROGRESSING?
223
00:08:48,507 --> 00:08:50,540
IT IS ALMOST READY,
GENERAL.
224
00:08:50,542 --> 00:08:51,674
OH, GOOD.
225
00:08:51,676 --> 00:08:54,343
SINCE OUR PICNIC
WITH THE FRENCH PEASANTS
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00:08:54,345 --> 00:08:56,813
WAS RUINED
BY THE GESTAPO,
227
00:08:56,815 --> 00:08:58,515
WE SHALL NEED
ANOTHER PICTURE
228
00:08:58,517 --> 00:08:59,682
FOR THE FRONT PAGE,
229
00:08:59,684 --> 00:09:01,384
TO SHOW HOW WELL
WE ARE GETTING ON
230
00:09:01,386 --> 00:09:02,819
WITH THE CONQUERED
FRENCH.
231
00:09:02,821 --> 00:09:05,488
WHAT ABOUT ONE
OF THE GARRISON COMMANDER
232
00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:07,957
ENJOYING AN EVENING OUT
AT THE LOCAL CAFE?
233
00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:10,393
ENJOYING FOOD, WINE
AND ENTERTAINMENT?
234
00:09:10,395 --> 00:09:12,762
I WILL ARRANGE IT
AT ONCE, GENERAL.
235
00:09:12,764 --> 00:09:14,997
EXCELLENT.
I SHALL SEE
YOU ALL TONIGHT.
236
00:09:14,999 --> 00:09:17,166
PERHAPS YOU CAN ARRANGE
FOR THE PIN-UP
237
00:09:17,168 --> 00:09:19,302
OF THE TANK CORPS
TO SIT NEXT TO ME.
238
00:09:19,304 --> 00:09:21,538
THANK YOU, GENERAL.
239
00:09:24,074 --> 00:09:26,910
I WAS REFERRING TO
PRIVATE HELGA GEERHART.
240
00:09:26,912 --> 00:09:28,778
IT WILL BE
A PRIVILEGE.
241
00:09:30,347 --> 00:09:31,581
HEIL HITLER.
242
00:09:31,583 --> 00:09:32,882
HEIL HITLER.
243
00:09:32,884 --> 00:09:34,083
HEIL MUSSOLINI.
244
00:09:34,085 --> 00:09:35,552
DON'T PUSH YOUR LUCK.
245
00:09:35,554 --> 00:09:36,653
DAMN IT!
246
00:09:36,655 --> 00:09:38,120
WE'VE LOST
THE PAINTING.
247
00:09:38,122 --> 00:09:39,522
DON'T WORRY.
248
00:09:39,524 --> 00:09:41,090
IF I KEEP IN
WITH THE GENERAL,
249
00:09:41,092 --> 00:09:42,659
WE MAY BE ABLE
TO GET IT BACK.
250
00:09:42,661 --> 00:09:44,026
BY THE WAY,
251
00:09:44,028 --> 00:09:46,162
I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS
PIN-UP OF THE TANK CORPS.
252
00:09:46,164 --> 00:09:48,565
YOU'RE NOT--
IN MY LITTLE TANK.
253
00:09:49,934 --> 00:09:51,601
THANK HEAVENS FOR THAT.
254
00:09:54,004 --> 00:09:56,606
HERR FLICK, THERE ARE
RUMORS IN THE VILLAGE
255
00:09:56,608 --> 00:09:58,341
THAT COLONEL VON STROHM
HAS SOMEHOW OBTAINED
256
00:09:58,343 --> 00:09:59,876
THE PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
257
00:09:59,878 --> 00:10:01,845
WHICH WAS STOLEN
FROM YOUR SAFE.
258
00:10:01,847 --> 00:10:03,179
CURSE IT.
259
00:10:03,181 --> 00:10:05,582
I MIGHT HAVE GUESSED
HE WAS BEHIND IT.
260
00:10:05,584 --> 00:10:08,451
THIS MEANS, I MUST
MAKE UP WITH HELGA,
261
00:10:08,453 --> 00:10:10,787
SO SHE CAN ASSIST
IN ITS RECOVERY.
262
00:10:10,789 --> 00:10:13,022
THAT WILL NOT BE EASY,
HERR FLICK.
263
00:10:13,024 --> 00:10:15,758
SHE WAS NOT VERY PLEASED
WHEN YOU DITCHED HER.
264
00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:17,059
FORTUNATELY,
265
00:10:17,061 --> 00:10:19,395
I HAVE
IN MY DESK DRAWER,
266
00:10:19,397 --> 00:10:21,965
THE GESTAPO MANUAL
ENTITLED,
267
00:10:21,967 --> 00:10:24,667
"HOW TO GET OFF WITH WOMEN
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX,
268
00:10:24,669 --> 00:10:27,403
IN 10 EASY LESSONS,"
269
00:10:27,405 --> 00:10:30,272
WITH AN INTRODUCTION
BY EVA BRAUN.
270
00:10:30,274 --> 00:10:31,875
HERE WE ARE,
271
00:10:31,877 --> 00:10:33,376
CHAPTER FIVE--
272
00:10:33,378 --> 00:10:36,445
"HOW TO MAKE UP WITH
A WOMAN YOU HAVE DITCHED."
273
00:10:36,447 --> 00:10:38,080
WHAT DOES IT SAY?
274
00:10:38,082 --> 00:10:40,817
"THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY
TO WORM YOUR WAY BACK
275
00:10:40,819 --> 00:10:43,686
INTO THE HEART OF A WOMAN
YOU HAVE DITCHED--
276
00:10:45,355 --> 00:10:46,890
GROVEL."
277
00:10:48,592 --> 00:10:50,459
BUT THAT IS AGAINST
278
00:10:50,461 --> 00:10:52,228
YOUR NATURAL INSTINCTS,
HERR FLICK.
279
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:53,530
THAT IS CORRECT.
280
00:10:53,532 --> 00:10:56,866
SENIOR GESTAPO OFFICERS
ARE NOT USED TO GROVELING.
281
00:10:56,868 --> 00:10:59,636
I MEAN, I CANNOT SEE YOU
BEING MEEK AND HUMBLE,
282
00:10:59,638 --> 00:11:02,005
AND GENERALLY VERY CRAWLY.
283
00:11:02,007 --> 00:11:03,873
I SHALL HAVE
TO TAKE A LEAF
284
00:11:03,875 --> 00:11:05,808
OUT OF YOUR BOOK,
VON SMALLHAUSEN.
285
00:11:05,810 --> 00:11:08,411
YOU GIVE ME PLENTY
OF PRACTICE, HERR FLICK.
286
00:11:08,413 --> 00:11:11,347
IT SAYS HERE,
I SHOULD TAKE HER GIFTS,
287
00:11:11,349 --> 00:11:13,349
WRITE HER A POEM,
288
00:11:13,351 --> 00:11:15,618
OR SERENADE HER
WITH A LOVE SONG.
289
00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:18,621
WHAT WOMEN COULD
RESIST SUCH A MAN?
290
00:11:18,623 --> 00:11:20,657
BUT-- CAN YOU SING?
291
00:11:21,692 --> 00:11:23,993
I HAVE A FINE,
TENOR VOICE.
292
00:11:25,295 --> 00:11:29,065
I WILL SING HER A SERENADE
FROM "ROSE MARIE."
293
00:11:30,133 --> 00:11:31,968
( clears throat )
294
00:11:31,970 --> 00:11:34,837
( sings badly )
♪ WHEN I'M CALLING ♪
295
00:11:34,839 --> 00:11:37,574
♪ YOU-OOO. ♪
296
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:45,748
A SUPERB RENDITION,
HERR FLICK, SUPERB!
297
00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:47,784
IT IS GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU,
FOR A CHANGE,
298
00:11:47,786 --> 00:11:49,285
AN HONEST OPINION.
299
00:11:50,287 --> 00:11:53,489
♪ WILL YOU ANSWER TOO-OOO? ♪
300
00:11:53,491 --> 00:11:56,258
( dogs baying, howling )
301
00:12:00,231 --> 00:12:01,531
YES, COLONEL.
302
00:12:01,533 --> 00:12:02,998
THIS EVENING,
303
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,867
I'LL PASS ON
THE MESSAGE.
304
00:12:04,869 --> 00:12:06,402
WHO WAS THAT?
305
00:12:06,404 --> 00:12:08,170
THAT WAS
THE COLONEL.
306
00:12:08,172 --> 00:12:10,540
THE GENERAL IS COMING HERE
TONIGHT TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED
307
00:12:10,542 --> 00:12:12,575
HAVING A JOLLY TIME
FOR THE NEWSPAPER,
308
00:12:12,577 --> 00:12:14,176
TO SHOW HOW WELL
WE COLLABORATE.
309
00:12:14,178 --> 00:12:17,079
( spits )
IT WAS NOT EASY
TO CONTROL MYSELF.
310
00:12:18,148 --> 00:12:20,182
RENE, WE MUST NOT
UPSET THEM.
311
00:12:20,184 --> 00:12:21,784
WE MUST NOT LET
THE VILLAGERS THINK
312
00:12:21,786 --> 00:12:24,287
WE ARE BEING TOO FRIENDLY,
OR THEY MAY STOP COMING.
313
00:12:24,289 --> 00:12:26,155
BUT, OF COURSE,
I SHALL SING FOR THEM.
314
00:12:26,157 --> 00:12:28,891
IT IS ONLY EXPECTED.
315
00:12:28,893 --> 00:12:30,826
WELL, THAT SHOULD
CONVINCE THE VILLAGE
316
00:12:30,828 --> 00:12:33,296
THAT WE HAVE AT LEAST
GOT SOME FIGHT LEFT.
317
00:12:33,298 --> 00:12:35,097
RENE,
318
00:12:35,099 --> 00:12:36,966
I MUST TALK
TO YOU URGENTLY.
319
00:12:36,968 --> 00:12:39,869
WHAT WERE YOU DOING
IN OUR BACK PASSAGE?
320
00:12:39,871 --> 00:12:42,138
I WAS TESTING THE WINE BARRELS
THAT WILL TRANSPORT
321
00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:44,206
THE BRITISH AIRMEN
DOWN THE RIVER TO THE SEA,
322
00:12:44,208 --> 00:12:46,609
SO THEY CAN BE PICKED UP
BY THE BOAT SQUADRON.
323
00:12:46,611 --> 00:12:48,811
TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT.
324
00:12:48,813 --> 00:12:50,313
WHERE ARE THESE BARRELS?
325
00:12:50,315 --> 00:12:51,614
IN YOUR CELLAR.
326
00:12:51,616 --> 00:12:53,783
THE AIRMEN ARE JUST
TRYING THEM FOR SIZE.
327
00:12:53,785 --> 00:12:55,385
OH MY GOD.
328
00:12:55,387 --> 00:12:57,186
COME AND SAY
FAREWELL TO THEM.
329
00:12:57,188 --> 00:12:58,888
THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME
YOU WILL SEE THEM.
330
00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:00,356
MY PLAN IS FOOLPROOF.
331
00:13:00,358 --> 00:13:02,458
NOW WHERE HAVE
I HEARD THAT BEFORE?
332
00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:05,662
THESE ARE THE
SPECIAL BARRELS.
333
00:13:07,964 --> 00:13:09,565
- HELLO.
- HELLO.
334
00:13:10,801 --> 00:13:12,201
WE ARE ACCLIMATIZING THEM
335
00:13:12,203 --> 00:13:13,636
TO BEING IN THE BARRELS.
336
00:13:13,638 --> 00:13:15,772
HELLO, CHAPS.
EVERYTHING OKAY?
337
00:13:15,774 --> 00:13:18,441
I'VE GOT PINS
AND NEEDLES
EVERYWHERE.
338
00:13:18,443 --> 00:13:19,975
YOU'RE LUCKY,
339
00:13:19,977 --> 00:13:22,312
I THINK I'VE
GOT WOODWORM.
340
00:13:22,314 --> 00:13:24,714
MICHELLE, HOW WILL
THE BOAT SQUADRON
341
00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:26,015
SEE THEM IN THE DARK?
342
00:13:26,017 --> 00:13:27,650
I WILL DEMONSTRATE.
343
00:13:27,652 --> 00:13:29,786
RIGHT, CHAPS,
READY TO RUN
THROUGH THE DRILL?
344
00:13:29,788 --> 00:13:31,621
- SPLENDID.
- JOLLY GOOD.
345
00:13:31,623 --> 00:13:33,556
THIS IS
AN HAREBRAINED PLAN.
346
00:13:33,558 --> 00:13:35,525
AT LEAST IT WILL
GET RID OF THEM.
347
00:13:35,527 --> 00:13:37,393
FOR GOOD,
I SHOULD THINK.
348
00:13:37,395 --> 00:13:39,729
OKAY, CHAPS.
YOU'RE OUT AT SEA, GO!
349
00:13:40,731 --> 00:13:42,264
READY TO FLASH?
350
00:13:42,266 --> 00:13:43,633
READY.
351
00:13:43,635 --> 00:13:45,401
TALLY-HO!
352
00:13:49,506 --> 00:13:50,940
INCREDIBLE.
353
00:13:50,942 --> 00:13:54,377
SO THAT IS WHERE
MY BATHROOM BULBS WENT!
354
00:13:54,379 --> 00:13:55,778
EACH BARREL IS EQUIPPED
355
00:13:55,780 --> 00:13:57,580
WITH A LONGLIFE,
HEAVY DUTY BATTERY,
356
00:13:57,582 --> 00:13:59,515
WHICH IS ATTACHED
TO THE BULBS.
357
00:13:59,517 --> 00:14:00,983
WELL DONE, CHAPS.
358
00:14:06,623 --> 00:14:08,290
( yelling )
359
00:14:11,628 --> 00:14:13,329
FOOLPROOF?
360
00:14:14,498 --> 00:14:17,166
Flick:
♪ WHEN I'M CALLING ♪
361
00:14:17,168 --> 00:14:19,636
♪ YOU-OOO ♪
362
00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:25,207
♪ WILL YOU ANSWER ♪
363
00:14:25,209 --> 00:14:27,944
♪ TOO-OOO? ♪
364
00:14:29,412 --> 00:14:30,847
GOOD MORNING,
HELGA.
365
00:14:30,849 --> 00:14:33,783
DID YOU ENJOY
MY LITTLE SERENADE?
366
00:14:33,785 --> 00:14:35,685
IS THAT WHAT IT WAS?
367
00:14:35,687 --> 00:14:37,219
I THOUGHT IT WAS
ONE OF THE PEASANTS
368
00:14:37,221 --> 00:14:39,022
SKINNING A CAT.
369
00:14:40,057 --> 00:14:42,191
DO I DETECT
A CERTAIN COLDNESS
370
00:14:42,193 --> 00:14:44,994
IN YOUR DEMEANOR AS A RESULT
OF OUR LOVERS' TIFF?
371
00:14:44,996 --> 00:14:46,729
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
HERR FLICK?
372
00:14:46,731 --> 00:14:48,531
I SEE YOU INTEND
TO MAKE IT
373
00:14:48,533 --> 00:14:50,232
DIFFICULT FOR ME,
HELGA.
374
00:14:50,234 --> 00:14:51,868
PERHAPS
YOU WILL MELT
375
00:14:51,870 --> 00:14:53,536
WHEN I READ YOU
THIS POEM.
376
00:14:55,005 --> 00:14:56,973
"I LOVE YOU MORE
THAN WORDS CAN SAY,
377
00:14:56,975 --> 00:14:59,341
FROM YOUR HEAD
DOWN TO YOUR TOES.
378
00:14:59,343 --> 00:15:01,911
I AM LOST FOR WORDS
TO SHOW MY LOVE,
379
00:15:01,913 --> 00:15:04,547
SO PLEASE,
ACCEPT THIS ROSE."
380
00:15:08,919 --> 00:15:10,853
THAT IS A DEAD COD.
381
00:15:11,922 --> 00:15:14,824
ROSES ARE
OUT OF SEASON.
382
00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:17,694
I ONLY FOUND OUT
AFTER I HAD WRITTEN
THE POEM.
383
00:15:17,696 --> 00:15:19,662
IT WILL TAKE MORE
THAN A DEAD COD
384
00:15:19,664 --> 00:15:20,730
TO GET AROUND ME.
385
00:15:20,732 --> 00:15:22,531
YOU WILL BE
PLEASED TO HEAR
386
00:15:22,533 --> 00:15:24,266
THAT I HAVE DECIDED
TO FORGIVE YOU.
387
00:15:24,268 --> 00:15:25,835
I AM WILLING
TO TAKE YOU BACK,
388
00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,203
IF YOU PROMISE
TO BEHAVE.
389
00:15:27,205 --> 00:15:28,404
BY THE WAY,
390
00:15:28,406 --> 00:15:30,639
WHERE IS THE PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA?
391
00:15:30,641 --> 00:15:32,208
THE GENERAL HAS IT
392
00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:34,210
IN HIS QUARTERS
IN HIS CHATEAU.
393
00:15:34,212 --> 00:15:35,812
THANK YOU.
YOU MAY KISS ME.
394
00:15:35,814 --> 00:15:38,514
I'D RATHER KISS THE COD.
395
00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:42,384
WELL, HELP ME
GET IT BACK
396
00:15:42,386 --> 00:15:44,320
AND WE WILL
SHARE THE PROCEEDS.
397
00:15:44,322 --> 00:15:46,823
WHEN I WAS MAD ABOUT YOU,
I MIGHT HAVE HELPED.
398
00:15:46,825 --> 00:15:48,557
BUT NOW THAT YOU
HAVE DITCHED ME,
399
00:15:48,559 --> 00:15:50,193
I HAVE MY OWN PLANS.
400
00:15:50,195 --> 00:15:51,894
THE GENERAL'S
QUITE KEEN ON ME.
401
00:15:53,230 --> 00:15:55,431
PLEASE, HELGA.
402
00:15:57,735 --> 00:16:00,669
AH, ROSES FOR
THE BEAUTIFUL LADY.
403
00:16:03,506 --> 00:16:04,974
WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?
404
00:16:04,976 --> 00:16:06,876
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
405
00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:09,979
OH, CAPTAIN BERTORELLI,
WHAT LOVELY FLOWERS.
406
00:16:09,981 --> 00:16:12,514
YOU CERTAINLY KNOW
HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN,
407
00:16:12,516 --> 00:16:14,917
UNLIKE CERTAIN OTHERS.
408
00:16:14,919 --> 00:16:16,418
I THOUGHT
MAYBE TONIGHT,
409
00:16:16,420 --> 00:16:18,788
BEFORE WE MEET
THE GENERAL IN THE CAFE,
410
00:16:18,790 --> 00:16:20,589
WE COULD TAKE A STROLL
IN THE MOONLIGHT,
411
00:16:20,591 --> 00:16:22,524
AND DO THE CANOODLE.
412
00:16:22,526 --> 00:16:23,826
OH, WHAT FUN.
413
00:16:23,828 --> 00:16:25,461
PERHAPS YOU WOULD RATHER
414
00:16:25,463 --> 00:16:27,296
HAVE A LITTLE LUNCH
WITH ME?
415
00:16:27,298 --> 00:16:29,298
WE COULD
GRILL SOME SAUSAGES
416
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:32,001
OVER MY UPTURNED
ELECTRIC FIRE.
417
00:16:32,003 --> 00:16:35,037
HOW ABOUT A PICNIC
IN THE WOODS?
418
00:16:35,039 --> 00:16:37,539
THAT SOUNDS
MUCH MORE EXCITING.
419
00:16:37,541 --> 00:16:39,742
MAYBE WE COULD
LEARN SOMETHING
420
00:16:39,744 --> 00:16:41,577
FROM THE BIRDS
AND THE BEES.
421
00:16:41,579 --> 00:16:44,380
MAYBE THEY COULD LEARN
SOMETHING FROM US.
422
00:16:44,382 --> 00:16:46,115
IT'S SO NICE
TO BE GOING OUT
423
00:16:46,117 --> 00:16:48,284
WITH A REAL MAN
AT LAST.
424
00:16:48,286 --> 00:16:50,686
♪ O SOLE MIO... ♪
425
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,796
( radio buzzing )
426
00:16:59,798 --> 00:17:02,498
AAAH! THE KNOBS,
427
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:04,066
THE FLASHING KNOBS!
428
00:17:04,068 --> 00:17:06,169
THEY ARE
DEAD ON TIME.
429
00:17:06,171 --> 00:17:08,104
QUICK,
LIFT THE BED.
430
00:17:08,106 --> 00:17:10,372
ARGH!
431
00:17:10,374 --> 00:17:13,609
WILL THIS FLASHING
NEVER CEASE?
432
00:17:13,611 --> 00:17:15,778
SHUT UP, YOU OLD BAT.
433
00:17:19,116 --> 00:17:21,918
'ALLO, LONDON,
'ALLO, LONDON.
THIS IS NIGHTHAWK.
434
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,053
WHAT IS YOUR MESSAGE?
OVER.
435
00:17:24,055 --> 00:17:25,988
Man:
We will be looking out
for the two seabirds
436
00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:27,723
from midnight onwards.
437
00:17:27,725 --> 00:17:29,758
Is everything okay?
Over.
438
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,394
WELL, APART FROM THE FACT
THAT WE HAVE TO ENTERTAIN
439
00:17:32,396 --> 00:17:34,263
HALF THE GERMAN ARMY
TO DINNER,
440
00:17:34,265 --> 00:17:36,665
AND THE SEABIRDS HAVE
FUSED THEIR FLASHERS,
441
00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:38,667
ALL IS WELL. OVER.
442
00:17:38,669 --> 00:17:41,304
Understood.
Over and out.
443
00:17:41,306 --> 00:17:43,206
AS SOON AS
THE GERMANS HAVE GONE,
444
00:17:43,208 --> 00:17:45,541
WE WILL ROLL THE BARRELS
DOWN TO THE RIVER.
445
00:17:47,577 --> 00:17:49,178
ARGH.
446
00:17:49,180 --> 00:17:51,180
WHAT IS HAPPENING,
FANNY?
447
00:17:51,182 --> 00:17:52,849
HAVE I MISSED
ANYTHING?
448
00:17:52,851 --> 00:17:54,683
SOME OLD BIRD'S FLASHER
449
00:17:54,685 --> 00:17:56,585
HAS BEEN FUSED.
450
00:17:56,587 --> 00:17:59,455
IT WAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH ME.
451
00:18:02,492 --> 00:18:04,894
Flick:
CAN YOU SEE THEM,
VON SMALLHAUSEN?
452
00:18:04,896 --> 00:18:06,062
YES, HERR FLICK.
453
00:18:06,064 --> 00:18:08,731
THE ITALIAN HAS
PUT HIS JACKET
454
00:18:08,733 --> 00:18:10,299
DOWN ON THE GRASS,
455
00:18:10,301 --> 00:18:12,768
AND HAS TAKEN OUT
A SANDWICH.
456
00:18:12,770 --> 00:18:14,103
AND HELGA?
457
00:18:14,105 --> 00:18:16,339
SHE SITS NEXT TO HIM.
458
00:18:16,341 --> 00:18:19,008
THE TROLLOP.
459
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:22,078
SHE IS TRYING TO MAKE
YOU JEALOUS, HERR FLICK.
460
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,946
I AM AWARE OF THIS.
461
00:18:23,948 --> 00:18:26,482
FORTUNATELY,
I HAVE IT UNDER
CONTROL.
462
00:18:26,484 --> 00:18:27,950
( knuckles crack )
463
00:18:27,952 --> 00:18:30,253
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD
MAKE HER JEALOUS OF YOU,
464
00:18:30,255 --> 00:18:32,855
THEN SHE MIGHT HELP YOU
GET BACK THE PAINTING.
465
00:18:32,857 --> 00:18:34,757
THE IDEA HAS ALREADY
466
00:18:34,759 --> 00:18:36,658
GERMINATED IN MY BRAIN.
467
00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:39,161
TONIGHT, WE SHALL GO
TO CAFE RENE
468
00:18:39,163 --> 00:18:40,930
IN OUR GLAD RAGS,
469
00:18:40,932 --> 00:18:43,366
IN ORDER TO CHAT UP
THE WAITRESSES.
470
00:18:43,368 --> 00:18:46,302
THAT SHOULD HAVE HER
HOPPING UP AND DOWN.
471
00:18:46,304 --> 00:18:48,337
Von Smallhausen:
THE ITAI IS PUTTING
472
00:18:48,339 --> 00:18:50,373
HIS ARMS ROUND HER.
473
00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:52,074
THE OILY WOP.
474
00:18:52,076 --> 00:18:54,476
HIS FEATHERS ARE QUIVERING.
475
00:18:56,479 --> 00:18:59,215
Bertorelli:
I THINK SOMEONE IS
SPYING ON US UP A TREE.
476
00:18:59,217 --> 00:19:02,451
I CERTAINLY HOPE SO.
NOW KISS ME ON THE CHEEK,
477
00:19:02,453 --> 00:19:05,421
AND TRY NOT TO GET
YOUR FEATHERS UP MY NOSE.
478
00:19:05,423 --> 00:19:08,157
Von Smallhausen:
HE IS KISSING HER.
479
00:19:08,159 --> 00:19:10,126
I CANNOT BEAR
TO WATCH.
480
00:19:10,128 --> 00:19:11,593
JUST AS WELL.
481
00:19:11,595 --> 00:19:13,029
ON THE OTHER HAND,
482
00:19:13,031 --> 00:19:15,164
I CANNOT BEAR
THE SUSPENSE.
483
00:19:15,166 --> 00:19:16,632
AAA-ARGH!
484
00:19:31,381 --> 00:19:34,183
HERR GENERAL,
WHAT AN HONOR.
485
00:19:34,185 --> 00:19:36,118
I HAVE RESERVED
OUR BEST TABLE
FOR YOU.
486
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:37,719
OF COURSE YOU HAVE.
487
00:19:37,721 --> 00:19:40,389
IS THE PHOTOGRAPHER
READY TO RECORD US
ENJOYING OURSELVES?
488
00:19:40,391 --> 00:19:42,591
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,
AT YOUR SERVICE, SIR.
489
00:19:42,593 --> 00:19:45,527
HE HAS HIS CAMERA
AND THREE FOOT STAND.
490
00:19:45,529 --> 00:19:47,729
I THINK IT BEST YOU
TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH
491
00:19:47,731 --> 00:19:49,031
AT THE APPROPRIATE
MOMENT.
492
00:19:50,434 --> 00:19:52,601
HELGA, I WILL
SIT NEXT TO YOU.
493
00:19:52,603 --> 00:19:55,338
CAPTAIN BERTORELLI,
YOU WILL SIT OPPOSITE.
494
00:19:59,109 --> 00:20:01,510
REMEMBER TO SMILE
AT THE PEASANTS,
495
00:20:01,512 --> 00:20:03,545
TO SHOW HOW WELL
WE GET ON WITH THEM.
496
00:20:09,453 --> 00:20:12,121
FOOD AND WINE.
NOTHING SPECIAL.
497
00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:13,722
WE WILL EAT WHAT
THE PEASANTS EAT.
498
00:20:13,724 --> 00:20:15,324
WE WILL DRINK WHAT
THE PEASANTS DRINK.
499
00:20:15,326 --> 00:20:18,194
YES, GENERAL,
WE HAVE A SPECIAL DISH,
TYPICAL OF OUR REGION.
500
00:20:18,196 --> 00:20:19,728
NOW.
501
00:20:21,164 --> 00:20:22,999
I LOVE
THE FRENCH FOOD.
502
00:20:23,001 --> 00:20:24,766
I SMELL THE SMELL
AND MY STOMACH,
503
00:20:24,768 --> 00:20:26,568
IT GOES MAD.
504
00:20:26,570 --> 00:20:29,038
AH, SNAILS.
505
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:32,408
SNAILS HAVE NEVER
BEEN MY FAVORITE DISH.
506
00:20:32,410 --> 00:20:34,176
WE WILL ENJOY THEM.
507
00:20:34,178 --> 00:20:35,711
THEY ARE
VERY LIGHTLY COOKED
508
00:20:35,713 --> 00:20:37,446
WITH GARLIC
AND WHITE WINE.
509
00:20:44,954 --> 00:20:47,890
SOME OF THEM MORE LIGHTLY
COOKED THAN OTHERS.
510
00:20:47,892 --> 00:20:52,428
THIS ONE APPEARS
RELUCTANT TO BE EATEN.
511
00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:54,463
PERHAPS HE IS
FEELING UNWELL
512
00:20:54,465 --> 00:20:57,199
AND DID NOT WISH
TO UPSET YOUR STOMACH.
513
00:20:57,201 --> 00:20:59,435
I WILL RETURN IT
TO THE GARDEN.
514
00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:08,177
I SEE THE TWO WAITRESSES,
HERR FLICK.
515
00:21:08,179 --> 00:21:10,312
WE WILL KNOCK THEM DEAD
IN THESE CLOTHES.
516
00:21:10,314 --> 00:21:13,149
I WILL FONDLE ONE
ON MY KNEE,
517
00:21:13,151 --> 00:21:15,651
AND HELGA WILL GO MAD
WITH JEALOUSY.
518
00:21:15,653 --> 00:21:17,886
IT WILL MAKE ME HOT
UNDER THE COLLAR.
519
00:21:17,888 --> 00:21:20,122
WE WILL TAKE
THIS TABLE.
520
00:21:20,124 --> 00:21:21,424
HAVE YOU CHECKED UP
ON THE--
521
00:21:21,426 --> 00:21:23,059
ON THE MANUAL,
HERR FLICK?
522
00:21:23,061 --> 00:21:24,726
I HAVE IT HERE.
523
00:21:24,728 --> 00:21:25,961
WAITRESS.
524
00:21:25,963 --> 00:21:27,663
WAITRESS.
525
00:21:29,032 --> 00:21:30,766
WHAT IS ALL THIS?
526
00:21:32,069 --> 00:21:33,769
IF YOU REQUIRE
A DRINK,
527
00:21:33,771 --> 00:21:35,637
PUT YOUR HAND UP
AND WAIT.
528
00:21:35,639 --> 00:21:37,639
I'M SO SORRY.
529
00:21:37,641 --> 00:21:40,008
IT'S HERR FLICK.
530
00:21:40,010 --> 00:21:41,610
IGNORE HIM.
531
00:21:41,612 --> 00:21:45,013
TELL ME, WHAT IS
A DUMPY GIRL LIKE YOU,
532
00:21:45,015 --> 00:21:47,183
DOING IN A NICE PLACE
LIKE THIS?
533
00:21:49,252 --> 00:21:50,553
PARDON?
534
00:21:50,555 --> 00:21:53,122
WHY DO YOU NOT
COME BACK TO MY PLACE
535
00:21:53,124 --> 00:21:55,657
AND I WILL SHOW YOU
A GOOD TIME, BABY.
536
00:21:57,494 --> 00:21:58,827
GET FRESH
WITH ME, PAL,
537
00:21:58,829 --> 00:22:00,496
AND I'LL
SLIT YOUR THROAT.
538
00:22:02,365 --> 00:22:05,033
PLAYING HARD TO GET.
539
00:22:05,035 --> 00:22:07,436
EITHER MY TECHNIQUE
NEEDS POLISHING,
540
00:22:07,438 --> 00:22:09,505
OR THE AUTHOR
NEEDS TO BE SHOT.
541
00:22:09,507 --> 00:22:12,908
LANDLORD, WE ARE READY
FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT.
542
00:22:12,910 --> 00:22:14,410
IS THE CAMERA STANDING BY?
543
00:22:14,412 --> 00:22:16,312
I AM STANDING BY,
MONSIEUR.
544
00:22:16,314 --> 00:22:18,247
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
545
00:22:18,249 --> 00:22:20,916
MADAM EDITH
WILL SING FOR YOU
546
00:22:20,918 --> 00:22:23,419
IN HER OWN
INIMITABLE STYLE.
547
00:22:23,421 --> 00:22:25,087
NOTHING CHANGES.
548
00:22:26,723 --> 00:22:28,924
♪ I'M NAUGHTY BUT NICE ♪
549
00:22:28,926 --> 00:22:30,392
♪ IF YOU WINK AT ME TWICE ♪
550
00:22:30,394 --> 00:22:32,728
♪ I SHALL KNOW
THAT YOU'RE MY KIND OF CHAP ♪
551
00:22:33,896 --> 00:22:35,297
♪ IF YOU GIVE ME A NOD ♪
552
00:22:35,299 --> 00:22:36,865
♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE HERE
ON YOUR TOD ♪
553
00:22:36,867 --> 00:22:39,168
♪ I'LL COME AND SIT
ON YOUR LAP... ♪
554
00:22:39,170 --> 00:22:40,936
NOBODY MOVE.
555
00:22:40,938 --> 00:22:43,372
♪ I'M NAUGHTY
IT'S TRUE ♪
556
00:22:43,374 --> 00:22:45,241
♪ BUT I BET
SO ARE YOU ♪
557
00:22:45,243 --> 00:22:47,343
♪ HANDS UP THOSE WHO WANT
TO BE KISSED ♪
558
00:22:49,779 --> 00:22:52,481
♪ IF YOU DON'T TRY,
YOU COULD VERY WELL DIE ♪
559
00:22:52,483 --> 00:22:55,417
♪ NEVER KNOWING JUST WHAT
YOU HAD MISSED ♪
560
00:22:55,419 --> 00:22:57,620
♪ I'M NAUGHTY,
YOU SEE ♪
561
00:22:57,622 --> 00:22:59,321
♪ AND IF YOU
STARE AT ME ♪
562
00:22:59,323 --> 00:23:01,990
♪ I SHALL HAVE
TO PICK YOU FOR A DATE ♪
563
00:23:01,992 --> 00:23:04,760
♪ I CAN TELL
YOU'RE ALL KEEN ♪
564
00:23:04,762 --> 00:23:07,929
♪ BUT I'M GOING
TO BE MEAN ♪
565
00:23:07,931 --> 00:23:10,799
♪ I'M AFRAID YOU WILL ♪
566
00:23:10,801 --> 00:23:12,434
♪ JUST HAVE TO ♪
567
00:23:12,436 --> 00:23:15,271
♪ WAIT. ♪
568
00:23:17,874 --> 00:23:19,007
( silence )
569
00:23:19,009 --> 00:23:22,311
THAT WAS
A NARROW SQUEAK.
570
00:23:22,313 --> 00:23:25,113
THE PHOTOGRAPH WILL
NOW BE TAKEN OF US ALL
571
00:23:25,115 --> 00:23:28,484
ENJOYING THIS RELENTLESS
ATTACK ON OUR EARDRUMS.
572
00:23:28,486 --> 00:23:31,187
I AM READY, GENERAL.
573
00:23:31,189 --> 00:23:32,421
CAPTAIN BERTORELLI,
574
00:23:32,423 --> 00:23:34,723
I MUST NOT BE
OUT-MEDALED IN A PICTURE.
575
00:23:38,461 --> 00:23:42,264
YOU, RESUME
YOUR SINGING POSE.
576
00:23:42,266 --> 00:23:45,434
WE WILL PRETEND
TO GAZE IN RAPTURE.
577
00:23:45,436 --> 00:23:47,903
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO POP
A SNAIL INTO YOUR MOUTH,
578
00:23:47,905 --> 00:23:50,339
TO SHOW HOW MUCH
YOU HAVE ENJOYED THE MEAL?
579
00:23:50,341 --> 00:23:53,709
NO, BUT, ER,
580
00:23:53,711 --> 00:23:54,776
GRUBER CAN.
581
00:24:02,586 --> 00:24:05,153
ENJOY IT, GRUBER,
ENJOY IT.
582
00:24:05,155 --> 00:24:07,389
YES, BUT HE KEEPS WIGGLING
583
00:24:07,391 --> 00:24:10,459
ONE OF HIS
LITTLE THINGS AT ME.
584
00:24:10,461 --> 00:24:14,029
General:
THAT JUST GOES TO SHOW
HOW POPULAR YOU ARE.
585
00:24:14,031 --> 00:24:16,332
SHALL WE TRY
THE OTHER WAITRESS,
586
00:24:16,334 --> 00:24:17,433
HERR FLICK?
587
00:24:17,435 --> 00:24:19,235
YES. I THINK THIS TIME,
588
00:24:19,237 --> 00:24:21,637
THE MORE DIRECT
APPROACH IS REQUIRED.
589
00:24:21,639 --> 00:24:24,673
PEASANT WOMEN
DO NOT APPRECIATE
THE SUBTLE ADVANCE.
590
00:24:27,577 --> 00:24:29,612
NOW, MY FINE FILLY,
591
00:24:29,614 --> 00:24:31,747
YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL
WHO ENJOYS
592
00:24:31,749 --> 00:24:33,482
A BIT OF A TICKLE
AND A SLAP.
593
00:24:33,484 --> 00:24:35,016
OH!
594
00:24:35,018 --> 00:24:36,885
OH!
595
00:24:36,887 --> 00:24:38,287
WHAT IS GOING ON?
596
00:24:38,289 --> 00:24:39,655
IT'S HERR FLICK.
597
00:24:39,657 --> 00:24:42,023
HE SLAPPED
THE WAITRESS' BOTTOM.
598
00:24:42,025 --> 00:24:43,759
HE'S MAKING
A BAD IMPRESSION.
599
00:24:43,761 --> 00:24:45,127
THIS IS DISGRACEFUL.
600
00:24:45,129 --> 00:24:47,095
WE CANNOT HAVE GERMANS
BEHAVING IN THIS WAY.
601
00:24:47,097 --> 00:24:48,930
GUARDS, THROW
THE TWO PERVERTS OUT.
602
00:24:51,234 --> 00:24:52,768
YOU CANNOT DO THIS.
603
00:24:52,770 --> 00:24:54,536
WE ARE THE GESTAPO.
604
00:24:54,538 --> 00:24:56,138
General:
MOLESTING PEASANT GIRLS
605
00:24:56,140 --> 00:24:58,774
IS A PASTIME RESERVED
ONLY FOR GENERALS.
606
00:24:58,776 --> 00:25:00,108
THIS IS THE LAST TIME
607
00:25:00,110 --> 00:25:01,277
I GO OUT WOMANIZING
608
00:25:01,279 --> 00:25:03,078
WITH YOU,
VON SMALLHAUSEN.
609
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,148
I AM SORRY
ABOUT THIS, GENERAL.
610
00:25:06,150 --> 00:25:08,016
I HOPE IT HASN'T
RUINED YOUR EVENING.
611
00:25:08,018 --> 00:25:09,618
ON THE CONTRARY,
612
00:25:09,620 --> 00:25:11,553
EJECTING NASTY
GESTAPO FELLOWS
613
00:25:11,555 --> 00:25:12,621
HAS QUITE
MADE MY NIGHT.
614
00:25:12,623 --> 00:25:14,690
General:
NOW HOLD THOSE POSES.
615
00:25:15,825 --> 00:25:18,260
WE ARE READY
FOR THE PHOTO.
616
00:25:18,262 --> 00:25:20,195
SMILE.
617
00:25:21,498 --> 00:25:24,333
HURRY UP, I'M RUNNING
OUT OF SINCERITY.
618
00:25:24,335 --> 00:25:26,568
GOT IT.
AND--
619
00:25:30,139 --> 00:25:31,807
I HAVE GOT IT.
IT IS A GOOD ONE.
620
00:25:31,809 --> 00:25:34,075
I WILL DEVELOP IT.
621
00:25:34,077 --> 00:25:36,077
GOOD.
CHEERS.
622
00:25:38,381 --> 00:25:41,817
MY WORD, THIS IS A REALLY
EXCELLENT VINTAGE.
623
00:25:41,819 --> 00:25:44,085
JUST A LOCAL WINE
FROM OUR CELLAR, GENERAL.
624
00:25:44,087 --> 00:25:45,354
OH, SHOW ME.
625
00:25:45,356 --> 00:25:46,588
COME, LET US
GO AND SEE
626
00:25:46,590 --> 00:25:48,190
THIS TREASURE-TROVE.
627
00:25:48,192 --> 00:25:49,391
YES, OF COURSE,
GEN--
628
00:25:49,393 --> 00:25:51,527
YOU MUST TAKE A BOTTLE
OR TWO HOME WITH YOU.
629
00:25:51,529 --> 00:25:52,628
COME THIS WAY.
630
00:25:52,630 --> 00:25:53,762
EDITH.
631
00:25:54,831 --> 00:25:55,997
HEY,
632
00:25:55,999 --> 00:25:58,300
NOW WE GOT RID
OF VON KLINKYHOFFEN,
633
00:25:58,302 --> 00:26:00,402
WHAT SAY WE TAKE
ANOTHER STROLL
634
00:26:00,404 --> 00:26:02,003
IN THE MOONLIGHT?
635
00:26:02,005 --> 00:26:04,906
THERE IS A TIME
AND A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING.
636
00:26:04,908 --> 00:26:06,408
IS THIS THE TIME?
637
00:26:08,911 --> 00:26:11,313
WHAT A MISTAKE TO MAKE.
638
00:26:11,315 --> 00:26:12,815
GENERAL.
639
00:26:14,050 --> 00:26:15,918
MMM, INTERESTING.
640
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:18,053
THIS IS TRULY INCREDIBLE.
641
00:26:18,055 --> 00:26:20,923
A '26 CLARET.
642
00:26:20,925 --> 00:26:22,991
A PARTICULARLY
GOOD YEAR.
643
00:26:22,993 --> 00:26:25,026
AND TWO BARRELS OF IT.
644
00:26:25,028 --> 00:26:27,930
YOU DO NOT WANT
THE OLD STUFF, GENERAL.
645
00:26:27,932 --> 00:26:29,631
THE WINE YOU LIKE
IS OVER HERE.
646
00:26:29,633 --> 00:26:30,666
TAKE IT ALL.
647
00:26:30,668 --> 00:26:32,133
NONSENSE.
648
00:26:32,135 --> 00:26:33,368
THIS IS FAR TOO GOOD
649
00:26:33,370 --> 00:26:35,303
TO BE WASTED
IN A PEASANT CAFE.
650
00:26:35,305 --> 00:26:37,238
SEE TO IT
THAT WE TAKE BOTH BARRELS
651
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:38,507
WITH US WHEN WE LEAVE.
652
00:26:38,509 --> 00:26:40,943
THEN WE SHALL KEEP IT
FOR SOME SPECIAL OCCASION.
653
00:26:40,945 --> 00:26:42,811
HOW ABOUT WHEN
THE WAR IS OVER?
654
00:26:42,813 --> 00:26:44,412
WHEN YOU HAVE
WON IT, THAT IS.
655
00:26:47,249 --> 00:26:48,851
WELL DONE, RENE.
656
00:26:48,853 --> 00:26:51,152
YOU HAVE PUT HIM
IN A GOOD MOOD.
657
00:26:52,856 --> 00:26:55,591
RENE, WE MUST
WARN THE AIRMEN.
658
00:26:55,593 --> 00:26:57,860
HOW CAN WE?
WE DO NOT SPEAK ENGLISH.
659
00:26:57,862 --> 00:26:59,795
AND THEY DO NOT
SPEAK FRENCH.
660
00:26:59,797 --> 00:27:02,063
OH, RENE,
WHAT CAN WE DO?
661
00:27:05,267 --> 00:27:06,969
- HELLO.
- HELLO.
662
00:27:10,106 --> 00:27:11,339
Fairfax:
OH, GOOD.
663
00:27:11,341 --> 00:27:13,642
I THINK HE'S SAYING
WE'RE LEAVING.
664
00:27:13,644 --> 00:27:14,810
CHEERIO.
665
00:27:14,812 --> 00:27:16,277
CHEERIO.
666
00:27:17,947 --> 00:27:19,882
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
667
00:27:19,884 --> 00:27:21,783
ASK MICHELLE
FOR TWO MORE BARRELS,
668
00:27:21,785 --> 00:27:23,552
SO WE CAN ESCAPE AS WELL.
669
00:27:24,554 --> 00:27:27,255
( theme music playing )