1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:01,166 --> 00:00:04,602 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:20,419 --> 00:00:22,086 THE STRAIN OF THIS TERRIBLE WAR 3 00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:23,588 IS GETTING WORSE. 4 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,189 I HAVE BEEN PRESUMED DEAD, 5 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,757 BLOWN UP IN A WINDMILL, 6 00:00:26,759 --> 00:00:29,026 TAKEN PRISONER AS A LOVE SLAVE 7 00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:30,561 BY THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE, 8 00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:33,731 SHOT IN THE BUM BY A HUNTER, 9 00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:36,033 AND, WHILE POSING AS A WAXWORK 10 00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:37,335 AT THE TOWN MUSEUM, 11 00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:39,670 TOUCHED UP BY LIEUTENANT GRUBER. 12 00:00:41,273 --> 00:00:43,608 THE GERMANS NOW KNOW THAT I AM ALIVE 13 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,175 AND I HAVE EXPLAINED MY ABSENCE 14 00:00:45,177 --> 00:00:47,311 BY TELLING THEM THAT AFTER THE EXPLOSION 15 00:00:47,313 --> 00:00:48,379 AT THE WINDMILL, 16 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,581 I TEMPORARILY LOST MY MEMORY. 17 00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:52,916 I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE, 18 00:00:52,918 --> 00:00:54,585 BUT I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT IT IS. 19 00:00:54,587 --> 00:00:56,287 NEVER MIND, I WILL THINK OF IT LATER. 20 00:00:58,390 --> 00:01:00,691 - OH, RENE. - OH, YVETTE. 21 00:01:00,693 --> 00:01:02,326 AT LAST WE ARE ALONE. 22 00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:04,462 HOLD ME, KISS ME. 23 00:01:08,099 --> 00:01:10,534 OH, IT SEEMS SO VERY LONG. 24 00:01:10,536 --> 00:01:12,836 WHAT DOES? 25 00:01:12,838 --> 00:01:16,374 SINCE WE LAST HAD TIME FOR EACH OTHER. 26 00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:19,477 OH, WITHOUT YOU MY LIFE IS SO EMPTY. 27 00:01:19,479 --> 00:01:23,080 I WILL DO MY VERY BEST TO FILL YOUR EMPTINESS. 28 00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:25,783 GOOD, LET US GO BEHIND THE HENHOUSE AT ONCE. 29 00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:27,418 NO, NO, NO, PATIENCE, YVETTE. 30 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,019 THE TIME NOW IS NOT RIGHT. 31 00:01:29,021 --> 00:01:30,388 BUT I WILL MEET YOU TONIGHT 32 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,122 UPSTAIRS IN THE BROOM CUPBOARD 33 00:01:32,124 --> 00:01:33,658 WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES 12:00. 34 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:34,892 OH RENE, 35 00:01:34,894 --> 00:01:36,360 UNTIL THEN, 36 00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:38,763 EVERY SECOND WILL SEEM LIKE A DAY, 37 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,365 EVERY MINUTE WILL SEEM LIKE A YEAR. 38 00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:42,933 AT THAT RATE, 39 00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:45,536 BY MIDNIGHT YOU WILL BE WELL OVER 102. 40 00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:47,838 HA HA! OH, RENE. 41 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,072 ( kissing sounds ) 42 00:01:49,074 --> 00:01:50,408 RENE! 43 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:51,875 WHAT ARE YOU DOING 44 00:01:51,877 --> 00:01:53,644 WITH THAT SERVING GIRL IN YOUR ARMS? 45 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:56,447 YOU STUPID WOMAN. 46 00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,683 - CAN YOU NOT SEE-- - STOP! 47 00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,285 FOR A CHANGE, I WOULD LIKE HER TO EXPLAIN. 48 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:02,687 ME? 49 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:05,289 OH, WELL... 50 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:07,257 I WAS CROSSING THE ROOM 51 00:02:07,259 --> 00:02:08,292 WHEN I-- OH YES, 52 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:11,161 I-- I FELL OVER THIS LEG OF THE CHAIR, 53 00:02:11,163 --> 00:02:12,496 AND I WOULD HAVE FALLEN 54 00:02:12,498 --> 00:02:15,833 IF RENE HAD NOT CAUGHT ME IN HIS STRONG ARMS. 55 00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:17,234 NO, NO, MY DEAR, SWEET CHILD, 56 00:02:17,236 --> 00:02:18,703 YOU MUST NOT LIE FOR ME. 57 00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:21,104 I DID NOT WANT TO TELL YOU THIS, 58 00:02:21,106 --> 00:02:24,208 BUT I HAVE HAD A MINOR SPASM. 59 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,843 NOT A SPASM! 60 00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:27,277 IT HAS PASSED, 61 00:02:27,279 --> 00:02:29,313 AND WILL NOT BE MENTIONED AGAIN. 62 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:30,948 SUFFICE TO SAY THAT I MUST 63 00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:32,483 MAKE THE MOST OF MY TIME 64 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:33,551 LEFT TO ME HERE. 65 00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:35,619 OH, SIT DOWN, RENE. 66 00:02:35,621 --> 00:02:37,588 HUH? OH, YES. 67 00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,623 I AM SO SORRY. 68 00:02:39,625 --> 00:02:43,026 I ALWAYS FORGET HOW FRAIL YOU ARE, 69 00:02:43,028 --> 00:02:45,629 AND AM ONLY REMINDED WHEN YOU COME TO BED. 70 00:02:51,035 --> 00:02:53,003 I FORGIVE YOU, EDITH. 71 00:02:53,005 --> 00:02:54,672 BUT PLEASE, PLEASE, 72 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,607 DO NOT JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS IN FUTURE. 73 00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:58,075 NOW, YVETTE, 74 00:02:58,077 --> 00:03:00,745 YOU GO AND LIE DOWN, AND GET OVER THE SHOCK. 75 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,946 YES, RENE. 76 00:03:02,948 --> 00:03:05,449 ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE ALL RIGHT, RENE? 77 00:03:05,451 --> 00:03:07,451 SINCE YOU OFFICIALLY CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD, 78 00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:09,687 YOU HAVE BEEN BEHAVING RATHER STRANGELY. 79 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,789 WELL, I HAVE HAD A TRAUMATIC FEW DAYS. 80 00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:13,156 RENE! 81 00:03:13,158 --> 00:03:15,793 AND I THINK THEY ARE GOING TO GET EVEN MORE TRAUMATIC. 82 00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:18,462 I MUST SPEAK WITH YOU, URGENTLY. 83 00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:20,364 LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, 84 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,466 I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE. 85 00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:24,402 ACTING ON INFORMATION 86 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,136 RECEIVED FROM BRITISH INTELLIGENCE, 87 00:03:26,138 --> 00:03:28,406 MY GIRLS AND I HAVE MANAGED TO OBTAIN 88 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:31,308 TOP SECRET GERMAN PLANS FOR THE DEFENSE OF FRANCE, 89 00:03:31,310 --> 00:03:32,543 WHEN THE ALLIES INVADE. 90 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,177 HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT?! 91 00:03:34,179 --> 00:03:36,313 WE WAYLAID THE COURIER FROM BERLIN, 92 00:03:36,315 --> 00:03:39,483 AND WHILE MY GIRLS KEPT HIM BUSY IN A HAYSTACK, 93 00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:42,152 I PHOTOGRAPHED THE PLANS IN HIS BRIEFCASE. 94 00:03:42,154 --> 00:03:44,655 I HAVE THE MICROFILM HERE. 95 00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:47,625 A COUP LIKE THIS COULD TURN THE TIDE. 96 00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:48,626 I KNOW. 97 00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,561 NOW, WE MUST SEND THE MICROFILM 98 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,396 BY CARRIER PIGEON TO ENGLAND. 99 00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,632 BUT FIRST WE MUST RADIO TO LONDON. 100 00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:56,600 OH, CAN IT NOT WAIT TILL LATER? 101 00:03:56,602 --> 00:03:58,736 OH, BUT WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS? 102 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,338 WELL, IT IS JUST THAT MAMMA AND MONSIEUR LECLERC 103 00:04:01,340 --> 00:04:04,174 HAVE ONLY JUST MADE IT UP AFTER THEIR ROW. 104 00:04:04,176 --> 00:04:06,209 I DID NOT WANT TO DISTURB THEM, 105 00:04:06,211 --> 00:04:08,646 THEY ARE LIKE A PAIR OF LOVEBIRDS. 106 00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:11,849 Fanny: GET OUT, YOU TWO-TIMING RAT! 107 00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:13,050 LOVEBIRDS? 108 00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:14,718 MORE LIKE FIGHTING COCKS. 109 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,420 LET US GET UP THERE 110 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,188 BEFORE THEY DEMOLISH THE ATTIC. 111 00:04:19,357 --> 00:04:21,625 GET OUT! 112 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,029 STOP THAT, YOU SILLY OLD BAT. 113 00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:27,097 OH, MAMMA, WHAT IS HAPPENING? 114 00:04:27,099 --> 00:04:30,401 ASK HIM, THE UNFAITHFUL WRETCH. 115 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,536 HE HAS CHEATED ON ME AGAIN. 116 00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:35,039 I FOUND THIS LETTER IN HIS SUITCASE. 117 00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,473 LISTEN. 118 00:04:36,475 --> 00:04:39,643 "MY LIPS BURN FOR YOURS. 119 00:04:39,645 --> 00:04:42,046 I CANNOT WAIT FOR YOU 120 00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:44,915 TO SWING ONCE MORE 121 00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:47,751 FROM THE CHANDELIER, 122 00:04:47,753 --> 00:04:49,886 DRESSED ONLY IN 123 00:04:49,888 --> 00:04:52,256 YOUR TOP HAT AND SOCKS." 124 00:04:54,525 --> 00:04:56,360 I CANNOT READ THE SIGNATURE. 125 00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:58,295 WHAT SORT OF MAN ARE YOU? 126 00:04:58,297 --> 00:05:00,564 CERTAINLY NOT SHY. 127 00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:04,368 I AM THE SORT THAT GOT THE LETTER IN 1927. 128 00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:07,304 HE ADMITS IT, THE LECHER. 129 00:05:08,706 --> 00:05:11,308 AND WHAT SORT OF WOMAN 130 00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:13,743 WOULD WRITE SUCH THINGS? 131 00:05:13,745 --> 00:05:15,779 MAMMA, 132 00:05:15,781 --> 00:05:17,714 THIS IS YOUR SIGNATURE. 133 00:05:19,117 --> 00:05:21,918 THAT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL HER. 134 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,221 OH, SO YOU WERE THE ONE. 135 00:05:26,157 --> 00:05:27,824 I STILL HAVE THE TOPPER, 136 00:05:27,826 --> 00:05:29,126 AND THE SOCKS. 137 00:05:29,128 --> 00:05:31,561 FAT LOT OF GOOD THAT IS, 138 00:05:31,563 --> 00:05:33,763 WE HAVE NO CHANDELIER. 139 00:05:33,765 --> 00:05:35,866 WE CANNOT WASTE TIME LIKE THIS. 140 00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:37,401 MONSIEUR LECLERC, GO AND GET ONE 141 00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:39,636 OF THE HOMING PIGEONS FROM RENE'S HENHOUSE, 142 00:05:39,638 --> 00:05:41,372 AND MEET US IN THE SQUARE. 143 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:43,440 NOW WE MUST RADIO TO LONDON. 144 00:05:44,642 --> 00:05:47,044 AARGHH! THE KNOBS, 145 00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:49,679 THE FLASHING KNOBS! 146 00:05:49,681 --> 00:05:51,048 SHUT UP. 147 00:05:53,718 --> 00:05:54,885 'ALLO, LONDON, 148 00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:57,621 THIS IS BLUE TIT CALLING. OVER. 149 00:05:57,623 --> 00:05:59,723 What is your message? Over. 150 00:05:59,725 --> 00:06:02,526 WE HAVE THE PLANS YOU ASKED FOR. 151 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:05,529 WE ARE SENDING THEM BY HOMING PIGEON IMMEDIATELY. 152 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:06,763 OVER. 153 00:06:06,765 --> 00:06:08,565 Well done, Blue Tit. 154 00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:10,501 And here is a personal message, 155 00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:11,902 recorded last night, 156 00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:14,438 by Mr. Churchill for Nighthawk, 157 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,573 hero of the resistance. 158 00:06:16,575 --> 00:06:19,243 THESE WORDS COULD GO DOWN IN HISTORY. 159 00:06:20,645 --> 00:06:23,347 Churchill: Well done, Ronald. 160 00:06:27,218 --> 00:06:28,419 RONALD? 161 00:06:31,856 --> 00:06:33,557 GOOD MOANING. 162 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,858 GOOD MOANING. 163 00:06:34,860 --> 00:06:37,561 WHAT ARE YOU DEEING WITH THAT PODGEON? 164 00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:40,764 WE ARE SENDING VITAL INFORMATION TO LONDON. 165 00:06:40,766 --> 00:06:43,434 THAT IS A ROSKY BOSNESS. 166 00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:45,001 I WILL STAND LEAKOUT FOR YOU, 167 00:06:45,003 --> 00:06:47,504 IN CASE YOU ARE SPITTED BY THE NITZIS. 168 00:06:49,207 --> 00:06:50,840 THE PIGEON IS READY. 169 00:06:50,842 --> 00:06:53,343 FLY BRAVELY AND SWIFTLY, 170 00:06:53,345 --> 00:06:55,145 MY LITTLE PIGEON. 171 00:06:55,147 --> 00:06:57,481 WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THE PIGEON, EDITH? 172 00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:59,983 HE CANNOT UNDERSTAND YOU. 173 00:06:59,985 --> 00:07:02,386 HE WILL SENSE THE ENCOURAGEMENT IN MY VOICE. 174 00:07:03,455 --> 00:07:05,556 ARE THERE ANY GERMANS ABOUT? 175 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,691 NOT A NITZI IN SUIT. 176 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,759 WE ARE READY TO LUNCH. 177 00:07:11,362 --> 00:07:13,097 THEN GOODBYE, PIGEON. 178 00:07:17,402 --> 00:07:20,337 Edith: THERE HE GOES. STRAIGHT FOR ENGLAND. 179 00:07:20,339 --> 00:07:23,140 THAT IS NOT THE WAY TO ENGLAND. 180 00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:24,975 HE SEEMS TO BE CIRCLING. 181 00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:27,978 AND COMING BACK TOWARDS US. 182 00:07:30,815 --> 00:07:32,583 HE DOES NOT APPEAR 183 00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:34,784 TO WINT TO GOO TO ONGLAND. 184 00:07:34,786 --> 00:07:37,020 PERHAPS YOU COULD SHOW 185 00:07:37,022 --> 00:07:39,323 THIS STUPID BIRD A MAP. 186 00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,057 WE WILL TRY AGAIN. 187 00:07:45,997 --> 00:07:46,997 DRAT. 188 00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:49,133 WHICH HOMING PIGEON 189 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,034 DID YOU GET FROM THE HENHOUSE? 190 00:07:51,036 --> 00:07:52,636 THE ONE THAT LIVES IN NOUVION. 191 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,571 YOU SILLY OLD FOOL. 192 00:07:54,573 --> 00:07:57,207 HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET THE DEFENSE PLANS TO LONDON NOW? 193 00:07:57,209 --> 00:08:00,310 THERE SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN AN ALMIGHTY KICK-UP. 194 00:08:00,312 --> 00:08:01,612 THIS WEEK IS 195 00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:04,014 THE ANNUAL FISHMONGER'S PARADE TO THE COAST. 196 00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:06,517 WE WILL ENTER A FLOAT, TO WHICH MY GIRLS 197 00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:08,519 WILL ATTACH PROPELLERS AND ENGINES. 198 00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:10,487 AND IF WE SUCCEED, 199 00:08:10,489 --> 00:08:12,523 CHURCHILL WILL JUMP FOR JOY. 200 00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:14,891 NO DOUBT CAUSING A RUSH OF TRUSSMAKERS 201 00:08:14,893 --> 00:08:17,494 TO NUMBER 10 DOWNING STREET. 202 00:08:17,496 --> 00:08:19,896 WE WILL TRY THE PIGEON ONE MORE TIME. 203 00:08:19,898 --> 00:08:23,433 OH, NO WONDER IT WILL NOT LEAVE. 204 00:08:23,435 --> 00:08:25,335 IT HAS A BABY. 205 00:08:25,337 --> 00:08:27,504 NOW YOU KNOW WHY I NEVER WANTED CHILDREN. 206 00:08:34,212 --> 00:08:36,880 THE COLONEL AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER ARE HERE, GENERAL! 207 00:08:36,882 --> 00:08:37,947 SEND THEM IN. 208 00:08:37,949 --> 00:08:39,816 YES, GENERAL. 209 00:08:39,818 --> 00:08:41,418 THE GENERAL WILL SEE YOU NOW! 210 00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:46,356 HEIL HITLER. 211 00:08:46,358 --> 00:08:48,024 HEIL HITLER. SIT DOWN. 212 00:08:49,327 --> 00:08:51,061 I WILL NOT BEAT ABOUT THE BUSH. 213 00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:52,996 THE WAR IS GOING VERY BADLY. 214 00:08:52,998 --> 00:08:54,898 CERTAIN GENERALS ARE BLAMING HITLER, 215 00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:56,900 AND PLOTTING TO ASSASSINATE HIM. 216 00:08:56,902 --> 00:08:57,901 DISGRACEFUL! 217 00:08:57,903 --> 00:08:59,636 WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING? 218 00:08:59,638 --> 00:09:01,771 I WOULD. 219 00:09:01,773 --> 00:09:03,440 AH, WELL, THAT DOES PUT 220 00:09:03,442 --> 00:09:05,542 A DIFFERENT COMPLEXION ON THE MATTER. 221 00:09:05,544 --> 00:09:07,644 IT IS A RELIEF TO KNOW THAT I CAN TRUST YOU. 222 00:09:07,646 --> 00:09:09,779 FOR YOU ARE GOING TO HELP ME IN THE ASSASSINATION. 223 00:09:09,781 --> 00:09:11,615 PERHAPS I COULD BE EXCUSED? 224 00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:13,617 I'M A MARRIED MAN. 225 00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:15,819 IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG, 226 00:09:15,821 --> 00:09:18,822 YOU WILL HAVE A PROUD WIDOW TO WHOM I SHALL WRITE. 227 00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:20,857 AND IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU, GRUBER? 228 00:09:20,859 --> 00:09:24,661 I SHOULD LIKE TO BE BURIED WITH HUBERT. 229 00:09:24,663 --> 00:09:26,062 WHICH REGIMENT IS HE IN? 230 00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:29,466 HE IS MY LITTLE TANK. 231 00:09:31,469 --> 00:09:34,037 OH, YES, OF COURSE. 232 00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:37,006 NOW, I INTEND TO DELIVER THE PORTRAIT 233 00:09:37,008 --> 00:09:38,908 OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WITH THE BIG BOOBIES 234 00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:42,045 TO THE FUHRER IN A FRAME PACKED WITH EXPLOSIVES. 235 00:09:42,047 --> 00:09:44,881 WHEN HITLER EXAMINES THE PICTURE, 236 00:09:44,883 --> 00:09:46,450 HE WILL BE BLOWN TO BITS. 237 00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:49,419 BUT WE DO NOT HAVE THE PAINTING, GENERAL. 238 00:09:49,421 --> 00:09:51,788 WE WILL HAVE A FORGERY MADE. 239 00:09:51,790 --> 00:09:54,358 I HAVE BEEN EXAMINING THE LOCAL POLICE RECORDS 240 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,760 AND IT SEEMS THAT THE OLD MAN AT THE CAFE, 241 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,263 ERNEST LECLERC, IS A CONVICTED FORGER. 242 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,064 I HAVE SENT FOR HIM. 243 00:10:01,066 --> 00:10:02,633 HE WILL MAKE A COPY FOR US. 244 00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:04,801 BUT, GENERAL, HE HAS NOTHING TO COPY. 245 00:10:04,803 --> 00:10:06,570 I HAVE HERE, 246 00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:09,839 A PHOTOGRAPH OF YOU HOLDING THE PAINTING, GRUBER. 247 00:10:09,841 --> 00:10:11,941 AS A FURTHER HELP, I'VE ARRANGED 248 00:10:11,943 --> 00:10:13,777 WITH PRIVATE HELGA GEERHART, 249 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,445 TO POSE AS THE FALLEN MADONNA FOR US. 250 00:10:15,447 --> 00:10:18,114 GENERAL, IT IS AN INGENIOUS PLAN, 251 00:10:18,116 --> 00:10:21,351 BUT HOW CAN YOU ENSURE IT IS THE FUHRER WHO IS BLOWN UP? 252 00:10:21,353 --> 00:10:22,852 SOMEONE WILL HAVE TO BE PRESENT 253 00:10:22,854 --> 00:10:24,888 TO DETONATE THE FRAME WHEN HITLER RECEIVES IT. 254 00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:26,723 WILL THEY NOT BE KILLED TOO? 255 00:10:26,725 --> 00:10:28,425 THERE IS THAT RISK. 256 00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:30,927 BUT WHOEVER SUCCEEDS WILL HAVE ALMOST EVERY MAN 257 00:10:30,929 --> 00:10:32,896 IN THE GERMAN ARMY BEHIND HIM. 258 00:10:37,635 --> 00:10:39,836 QUITE A PROSPECT. 259 00:10:45,343 --> 00:10:47,211 THIS IS THE FLOAT WE USED 260 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:50,280 THE LAST TIME NOUVION WON 261 00:10:50,282 --> 00:10:52,449 THE ANNUAL FISHMONGER'S PARADE TO THE COAST. 262 00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:55,452 INCREDIBLE HOW, AFTER ALL THIS TIME, 263 00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:58,688 THE PONG OF SUCCESS STILL LINGERS. 264 00:10:58,690 --> 00:11:00,690 I HAD TO DRESS AS A LUMPFISH, 265 00:11:00,692 --> 00:11:03,593 I REMEMBER IT WELL. I WAS ONLY 16. 266 00:11:03,595 --> 00:11:05,628 AND TO THINK, 267 00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:07,797 I WAVED THIS PARADE FLOAT FAREWELL, 268 00:11:07,799 --> 00:11:09,833 NEVER KNOWING THAT MY WIFE-TO-BE 269 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,935 WAS THE SMALL LUMPYFISH IN THE BACK. 270 00:11:13,238 --> 00:11:15,805 I DO NOT KNOW IF I CAN STILL GET INTO THE COSTUME. 271 00:11:15,807 --> 00:11:16,907 DO NOT WORRY, 272 00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:18,876 THERE IS PLENTY TO CHOOSE FROM. 273 00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:21,178 THEY ARE HERE IN THIS BOX. 274 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:24,114 RENE, YOU CAN BE NEPTUNE ON HIS THRONE. 275 00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:25,682 AND SOMEONE-- 276 00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:28,051 WILL HAVE TO BE VENUS UNADORNED 277 00:11:28,053 --> 00:11:30,787 RISING FROM THE SEA IN THIS GIANT CLAM. 278 00:11:30,789 --> 00:11:32,956 THERE IS ONLY ONE WOMAN IN NOUVION 279 00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:35,292 WHO HAS THE RIGHT QUALITIES 280 00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:38,161 TO ACT THE PART OF VENUS. 281 00:11:38,163 --> 00:11:39,496 OH, I AM SORRY, 282 00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:42,232 BUT UNADORNED I WOULD HAVE NOWHERE TO HIDE A GUN. 283 00:11:44,168 --> 00:11:46,003 I MEANT MADAME EDITH. 284 00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:47,670 OH, THANK YOU, MONSIEUR ALPHONSE. 285 00:11:47,672 --> 00:11:48,972 I ACCEPT. 286 00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:51,241 OF COURSE, I SHALL HAVE 287 00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:53,543 A PIECE OF CHEESECLOTH MODESTLY DRAPED. 288 00:11:55,746 --> 00:11:57,147 BUT, EDITH, 289 00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:59,649 VENUS WAS THE GODDESS OF BEAUTY. 290 00:12:00,751 --> 00:12:02,219 I KNOW. 291 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,255 AND WHEN I ARISE, ALMOST UNADORNED, 292 00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:06,623 FROM THE CLAM SHELL, 293 00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:09,026 IT WILL TAKE THE SPECTATORS' BREATH AWAY. 294 00:12:10,528 --> 00:12:14,064 THE MERE THOUGHT MAKES MY TICKER GO ALL DICKY. 295 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:16,133 MADAME EDITH, WOULD YOU LIKE 296 00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:17,567 TO TRY THE SHELL FOR SIZE NOW? 297 00:12:17,569 --> 00:12:18,902 OF COURSE. 298 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,537 EXCUSE ME. 299 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,574 MONSIEUR, WOULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND? 300 00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:27,744 THE SPRING MECHANISM SEEMS TO HAVE RUSTED. 301 00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:31,581 ( metal creaks ) 302 00:12:31,583 --> 00:12:33,150 LIE DOWN INSIDE, MADAME EDITH, 303 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,118 LET US SEE IF YOU FIT IT. 304 00:12:37,555 --> 00:12:39,889 IT IS JUST LIKE THE ONES WE SERVE, 305 00:12:39,891 --> 00:12:40,890 ONLY BIGGER. 306 00:12:43,161 --> 00:12:44,661 ( metal screeches ) 307 00:12:46,697 --> 00:12:48,698 ( Edith yells ) 308 00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:51,335 I'LL GO AND GET A TIRE LEVER. 309 00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:52,902 LET ME OUT! 310 00:12:52,904 --> 00:12:55,105 HANG ON, VENUS. 311 00:13:00,345 --> 00:13:02,879 THE FORGERY IS GOING NICELY. 312 00:13:02,881 --> 00:13:04,381 I MUST SAY, HELGA, 313 00:13:04,383 --> 00:13:06,549 YOU'RE VERY CONVINCING AS THE FALLEN MADONNA. 314 00:13:06,551 --> 00:13:07,985 HAVE YOU DONE IT BEFORE? 315 00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:09,286 NO, GENERAL. 316 00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:10,988 BUT I DID ONCE PLAY THE VIRGIN MARY 317 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,722 IN A SCHOOL NATIVITY PLAY. 318 00:13:12,724 --> 00:13:15,758 SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN QUITE SO CONVINCING. 319 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,128 TOUCH MORE PINK THERE, 320 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,464 MONSIEUR LECLERC. 321 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:24,034 THE FACE AND DRESS ARE VERY REALISTIC, 322 00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:26,970 BUT WHAT'S THAT BIG BLANK SPACE IN THE MIDDLE? 323 00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,239 I DO NOT WISH TO DISCOMFORT PRIVATE GEERHART 324 00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:30,573 ANY MORE THAN IS NECESSARY. 325 00:13:30,575 --> 00:13:32,709 SHE WILL UNCOVER FOR A SHORT TIME, 326 00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:35,212 ONLY FOR THE PAINTING OF THE BOOBIES. 327 00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:37,047 THANK YOU, GENERAL. 328 00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:39,716 IT IS RATHER EMBARRASSING WITH YOU ALL WATCHING. 329 00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:42,119 DO NOT WORRY, HELGA. WE ARE NOT THE SLIGHTEST BIT INTERESTED 330 00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:44,221 IN THE PAINTING OF PRIVATES. 331 00:13:46,157 --> 00:13:48,858 I AM READY NOW TO DO THE BOOBIES. 332 00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:50,593 VERY WELL. 333 00:13:58,403 --> 00:14:01,138 YOU MAY UNCOVER YOURSELF BRIEFLY. 334 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,673 PERHAPS YOU WOULD ALL TURN AWAY FOR A MOMENT. 335 00:14:07,145 --> 00:14:09,046 ALL EXCEPT THE FORGER. 336 00:14:17,121 --> 00:14:19,389 LET US KNOW IF YOU NEED ANOTHER LOOK. 337 00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:21,358 I THINK ONE WAS ENOUGH. 338 00:14:27,898 --> 00:14:29,766 THIS IS THE MISSING LEFT BOOBY 339 00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:31,668 FROM THE PAINTING OF THE FALLEN MADONNA. 340 00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:34,538 WE MUST CASH IT IN TO ESCAPE TO SOUTH AMERICA. 341 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,774 WE WILL NOT GO FAR ON ONE BOOBY, HERR FLICK. 342 00:14:37,776 --> 00:14:40,643 THE TWO WAITRESSES FROM THE CAFE 343 00:14:40,645 --> 00:14:42,946 PLY THEIR TRADE AS LADIES OF THE NIGHT 344 00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:45,082 UNDERNEATH THE LAMPPOST IN THE SQUARE. 345 00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:46,816 WE WILL KIDNAP THEM 346 00:14:46,818 --> 00:14:48,418 AND STEAL THEIR CLOTHES. 347 00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:50,954 THEN USING ONE OF THEIR KEYS, 348 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:53,056 WE WILL GAIN ENTRY TO THE CAFE 349 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,224 AND SEARCH IT. 350 00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,293 A BRILLIANT PLAN, HERR FLICK! 351 00:14:56,295 --> 00:14:58,595 A LONG ONE, BUT BRILLIANT. 352 00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:01,398 WE WILL TRY ON SOME SUITABLE WIGS. 353 00:15:05,303 --> 00:15:08,638 I WILL BE THE TALL BRUNETTE WITH THE GOOD LEGS. 354 00:15:10,341 --> 00:15:12,442 YOU CAN BE THE SHORT ONE WITH THE BIG BUM. 355 00:15:15,946 --> 00:15:18,881 DO I LOOK LIKE A TART? 356 00:15:18,883 --> 00:15:20,883 NO. 357 00:15:20,885 --> 00:15:23,186 MORE THE RESULT OF A MATING 358 00:15:23,188 --> 00:15:25,122 BETWEEN A YETI AND A CHIHUAHUA. 359 00:15:26,957 --> 00:15:29,726 THIS IS THE MARK I PROTOTYPE OF THE FRAME 360 00:15:29,728 --> 00:15:31,695 THAT WILL BE AROUND THE PORTRAIT 361 00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:34,130 OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WHEN WE DELIVER IT TO THE FUHRER. 362 00:15:34,132 --> 00:15:36,533 IT LOOKS VERY AUTHENTIC, GENERAL. 363 00:15:36,535 --> 00:15:38,535 OUR SCIENTISTS ARE AT THIS MOMENT 364 00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:41,171 WORKING ON A FOOLPROOF WAY OF DETONATING THE FRAME. 365 00:15:42,339 --> 00:15:45,008 NATURALLY, THEY KNOW NOTHING OF OUR INTENTIONS. 366 00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:46,843 BUT FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS TEST, 367 00:15:46,845 --> 00:15:49,145 I WILL USE A SIMPLE RADIO BEAM 368 00:15:49,147 --> 00:15:51,548 TO BLOW THE EXPLOSIVES. 369 00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,249 ARE YOU SURE IT IS SAFE 370 00:15:53,251 --> 00:15:55,085 TO DO THIS HERE, GENERAL? 371 00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:57,220 WE DO NOT WANT TO BLOW UP THE WHOLE CHATEAU. 372 00:15:57,222 --> 00:15:59,222 OH, RELAX, RELAX. 373 00:15:59,224 --> 00:16:00,958 THE SCIENTISTS ASSURE ME THAT THE EXPLOSION 374 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,626 WILL BE LOCALIZED. 375 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:05,161 THE DUMMY OF HITLER WILL BE BLOWN TO PIECES, 376 00:16:05,163 --> 00:16:08,031 BUT EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE ROOM WILL BE LEFT UNTOUCHED. 377 00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:10,033 STAND BY. 378 00:16:11,302 --> 00:16:13,570 GOODBYE, ADOLF. 379 00:16:25,249 --> 00:16:26,617 HELLO THERE. 380 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,118 MY, 381 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,820 AREN'T YOU A CUTE ONE? 382 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,454 HOW KIND. 383 00:16:31,456 --> 00:16:33,123 I HAVE NO MONEY, BUT, 384 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:35,759 I AM YOUNG AND GOOD LOOKING. 385 00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:37,460 I, TOO, HAVE NO MONEY, 386 00:16:37,462 --> 00:16:39,329 AND I AM YOUNG AND BETTER LOOKING, 387 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:40,563 SO BUZZ OFF! 388 00:16:43,901 --> 00:16:46,103 OH, THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE. 389 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:48,304 ANYONE WOULD THINK WE LOOKED CHEAP. 390 00:16:55,212 --> 00:16:57,347 GOOD EVENING, TARTS. 391 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,549 OH, HERR FLICK! 392 00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:01,785 THIS IS A SURPRISE. 393 00:17:04,255 --> 00:17:06,422 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A GOOD TIME 394 00:17:06,424 --> 00:17:09,760 WITH A COUPLE OF DEBONAIR CURB CRAWLERS ABOUT TOWN? 395 00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:12,328 CERTAINLY. WHERE ARE THEY? 396 00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:16,733 I WAS REFERRING TO VON SMALLHAUSEN AND MYSELF. 397 00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:18,401 HAVE YOU MONEY? 398 00:17:18,403 --> 00:17:19,703 POTS OF IT. 399 00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:23,339 GET INTO THE CAR. 400 00:17:23,341 --> 00:17:25,042 I WILL GO IN THE BACK OF THE CAR. 401 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,176 SO I'VE HEARD. 402 00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:29,512 NO, YOU CAN HAVE VON SMALLHAUSEN. 403 00:17:29,514 --> 00:17:31,314 HE'S MORE YOUR SIZE. 404 00:17:33,417 --> 00:17:35,886 ( Yvette giggling ) 405 00:17:43,728 --> 00:17:45,662 ( gears grind ) 406 00:18:07,618 --> 00:18:10,553 THIS IS A STRANGE PLACE TO BRING US TO. 407 00:18:10,555 --> 00:18:12,756 IS IT YOUR SECRET HEADQUARTERS, HERR FLICK? 408 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,691 YOU WILL SOON FIND OUT. 409 00:18:14,693 --> 00:18:16,626 OPEN THE DOOR, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 410 00:18:26,570 --> 00:18:28,538 COME INSIDE, MY DEARS. 411 00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:31,541 WE HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU. 412 00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:34,077 ( giggling ) 413 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,448 IN OUR LINE OF BUSINESS, 414 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,416 MOST SURPRISES ARE LITTLE. 415 00:18:43,187 --> 00:18:46,289 ANY MORE PETER LORRE IMPERSONATIONS, 416 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,724 AND YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF WORKING 417 00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:50,093 IN THE GESTAPO HAT FACTORY. 418 00:19:01,072 --> 00:19:03,206 TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES. 419 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:04,207 WHAT? HERE? 420 00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:05,575 OF COURSE. 421 00:19:05,577 --> 00:19:08,979 IS THERE NOWHERE MORE PRIVATE, LIKE... A TOOL CABINET? 422 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,148 THIS WILL DO. BEGIN THE UNDRESSING. 423 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,884 FIRST YOU MUST PRODUCE THE NECESSARY. 424 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,451 WHAT? 425 00:19:15,453 --> 00:19:18,088 THE MONEY, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 426 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:21,258 OH, YES, OF COURSE, THE MONEY. 427 00:19:27,064 --> 00:19:30,066 I'VE NEVER DONE IT IN A GARAGE BEFORE. 428 00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:33,170 NO, WE COULD GET VERY DIRTY IN HERE. 429 00:19:42,446 --> 00:19:44,714 Edith: WHAT KEPT YOU SO LONG, RENE? 430 00:19:44,716 --> 00:19:46,549 I HAVE GOT THROUGH 10 CHAPTERS 431 00:19:46,551 --> 00:19:49,486 OF "WAR AND PEACE," WAITING FOR YOU TO COME TO BED. 432 00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:52,422 I WAS JUST MAKING MYSELF A LITTLE SNACK. 433 00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:55,792 GARLIC SAUSAGE AND PICKLED CUCUMBERS. 434 00:19:55,794 --> 00:19:57,960 IT SEEMS SUCH AGES 435 00:19:57,962 --> 00:20:00,563 SINCE WE HAD ANY TIME TOGETHER. 436 00:20:00,565 --> 00:20:03,165 I AM A PASSIONATE WOMAN, RENE, 437 00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:06,002 I HAVE APPETITES THAT NEED TO BE SATISFIED. 438 00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:08,337 HERE, HAVE A PICKLED CUCUMBER. 439 00:20:09,973 --> 00:20:12,975 SOMETIMES YOU SEEM SO DISTANT. 440 00:20:12,977 --> 00:20:15,612 TAKE ME IN YOUR ARMS, RENE, 441 00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:18,448 KISS ME, CUDDLE ME. 442 00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:21,050 I WILL JUST FINISH MY GARLIC SAUSAGE. 443 00:20:25,956 --> 00:20:27,457 NOW. 444 00:20:29,593 --> 00:20:31,728 WHAT IS THE MATTER, EDITH? 445 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:32,962 NOTHING. 446 00:20:32,964 --> 00:20:34,964 I SEEM TO HAVE GONE OFF THE BOIL. 447 00:20:37,334 --> 00:20:41,370 OH, AND I HAD JUST GOT UP STEAM. 448 00:20:41,372 --> 00:20:43,773 AH, WELL, PERHAPS ANOTHER NIGHT. 449 00:20:50,414 --> 00:20:52,114 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 450 00:20:52,116 --> 00:20:53,917 QUICKLY, UNTIE MY HANDS. 451 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,419 WE MUST GET BACK TO THE CAFE. 452 00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:57,954 THEY EVEN STOLE OUR HANDBAGS. 453 00:20:57,956 --> 00:21:00,824 WE'VE BEEN PLAYED FOR SUCKERS. 454 00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:03,460 WHEN HERR FLICK SAID HE WANTED TO TIE US UP IN OUR UNDERWEAR, 455 00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:06,262 I DID NOT THINK HE HAD THIS IN MIND. 456 00:21:31,755 --> 00:21:32,755 ( knocking ) 457 00:21:32,757 --> 00:21:34,423 QUIET, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 458 00:21:34,425 --> 00:21:36,392 THE DOOR IS LOCKED, HERR FLICK. 459 00:21:36,394 --> 00:21:38,127 CHECK YOUR HANDBAG. 460 00:21:38,129 --> 00:21:40,697 THOSE GIRLS MUST HAVE A KEY SOMEWHERE. 461 00:21:42,332 --> 00:21:45,635 HURRY, THESE HEELS ARE KILLING ME. 462 00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:47,504 I HAVE THE KEY, HERR FLICK. 463 00:21:47,506 --> 00:21:49,438 AND I HAVE THE TORCH FROM THE CAR. 464 00:21:50,474 --> 00:21:51,875 LET US GO INSIDE 465 00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:53,710 AND BEGIN OUR SEARCH FOR THE PAINTING. 466 00:22:01,752 --> 00:22:04,621 LOCK THE DOOR, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 467 00:22:04,623 --> 00:22:05,688 YES, HERR FLICK. 468 00:22:09,192 --> 00:22:12,128 - AND PRODUCE YOUR TORCH. - YES, HERR FLICK. 469 00:22:14,798 --> 00:22:16,866 WE WILL LOOK UPSTAIRS FIRST. 470 00:22:19,670 --> 00:22:21,571 IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS, 471 00:22:21,573 --> 00:22:22,739 FLASH ME. 472 00:22:25,275 --> 00:22:27,309 WITH YOUR TORCH, DUNDERHEAD. 473 00:22:38,055 --> 00:22:39,388 I WILL TAKE THE FRONT. 474 00:22:39,390 --> 00:22:40,823 YOU SEARCH THE BACK. 475 00:22:44,028 --> 00:22:46,462 ( distant bell tolls ) 476 00:23:04,114 --> 00:23:05,448 SOMEONE IS COMING. 477 00:23:05,450 --> 00:23:07,650 WE MUST HIDE. QUICK. 478 00:23:11,689 --> 00:23:14,023 RENE... 479 00:23:15,993 --> 00:23:18,027 NOW WHERE HAS HE GONE-- 480 00:23:18,029 --> 00:23:19,729 OH, NO, 481 00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:21,798 NOT ANOTHER SPASM. 482 00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:25,034 I MUST SEE IF HE IS ALL RIGHT. 483 00:23:27,938 --> 00:23:29,772 NOW FOR YVETTE. 484 00:23:34,344 --> 00:23:36,312 I AM HERE, MY DARLING. 485 00:23:41,651 --> 00:23:44,053 ( kissing noises ) 486 00:23:44,055 --> 00:23:46,222 - ( slap ) - OW! 487 00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:52,361 RENE! YOU FAITHLESS SWINE. 488 00:23:52,363 --> 00:23:54,563 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THAT BROOM CUPBOARD 489 00:23:54,565 --> 00:23:56,199 WITH THAT TART? 490 00:23:56,201 --> 00:23:58,567 YOU STUPID WOMAN. 491 00:23:58,569 --> 00:24:00,903 CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS IS-- 492 00:24:00,905 --> 00:24:03,505 HERR FLICK OF THE GESTAPO? 493 00:24:03,507 --> 00:24:05,141 OH, SO IT IS. 494 00:24:05,143 --> 00:24:07,443 OH, I AM SORRY, HERR FLICK. 495 00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:09,311 BUT I DID NOT RECOGNIZE YOU 496 00:24:09,313 --> 00:24:11,380 IN A SKIRT AND FISHNET STOCKINGS. 497 00:24:11,382 --> 00:24:13,216 WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE. 498 00:24:13,218 --> 00:24:15,051 SO SHOULD YOU. 499 00:24:15,053 --> 00:24:16,853 BUT WHAT WERE YOU DOING 500 00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:18,287 IN THE BROOM CUPBOARD WITH HIM? 501 00:24:18,289 --> 00:24:20,923 REALLY, EDITH, IS THAT NOT OBVIOUS? 502 00:24:20,925 --> 00:24:22,225 NO. 503 00:24:22,227 --> 00:24:24,326 WELL IT WAS LIKE THIS, YOU SEE. 504 00:24:25,362 --> 00:24:26,562 YES? 505 00:24:26,564 --> 00:24:29,331 WELL, I WAS IN BED, TRYING TO GET OFF TO SLEEP 506 00:24:29,333 --> 00:24:30,967 NEXT TO YOU, MY DARLING, 507 00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:32,735 WHEN I HEARD A NOISE ON THE LANDING. 508 00:24:32,737 --> 00:24:34,436 THINKING THAT IT MIGHT BE BURGLARS, 509 00:24:34,438 --> 00:24:35,938 I CAME OUT TO APPREHEND THEM, 510 00:24:35,940 --> 00:24:37,273 AND HAPPENED TO FIND HERR FLICK 511 00:24:37,275 --> 00:24:40,609 IN THE BROOM CUPBOARD DISGUISED AS A TART. 512 00:24:40,611 --> 00:24:42,779 YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT EXPLANATION? 513 00:24:44,014 --> 00:24:47,016 ANY OTHER EXPLANATION WOULD BE UNTHINKABLE. 514 00:24:47,018 --> 00:24:48,684 SILENCE, PEASANTS. 515 00:24:48,686 --> 00:24:49,919 VON SMALLHAUSEN? 516 00:24:51,054 --> 00:24:52,922 YES, HERR FLICK? 517 00:24:52,924 --> 00:24:55,158 YOU MAY COME OUT NOW. 518 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,726 HERR FLICK, MAY I ASK WHAT IS GOING ON? 519 00:24:57,728 --> 00:24:58,761 NO. 520 00:24:58,763 --> 00:25:00,329 MAY I ASK? 521 00:25:00,331 --> 00:25:02,165 SHUT UP, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 522 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:04,901 YOU WILL FIND THE PORTRAIT OF THE FALLEN MADONNA 523 00:25:04,903 --> 00:25:07,636 WITH THE BIG BOOBIES FOR ME OR YOU WILL BE SHOT. 524 00:25:07,638 --> 00:25:08,771 DO YOU UNDERSTAND? 525 00:25:08,773 --> 00:25:10,339 Both: YES, HERR FLICK. 526 00:25:10,341 --> 00:25:13,109 OTHERWISE, I SHALL BE IN EVERY CUPBOARD YOU OPEN 527 00:25:13,111 --> 00:25:15,244 UNTIL I FIND IT MYSELF. 528 00:25:15,246 --> 00:25:18,247 COME, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 529 00:25:18,249 --> 00:25:20,983 IT IS LOCKED. 530 00:25:20,985 --> 00:25:23,485 WELL, HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET INSIDE? 531 00:25:23,487 --> 00:25:25,521 LOOK! 532 00:25:25,523 --> 00:25:28,357 THE WINDOW TO RENE AND MADAME EDITH'S ROOM IS OPEN. 533 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:29,758 I WILL CLIMB IN AND COME DOWN 534 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:30,993 AND OPEN THE DOOR. 535 00:25:30,995 --> 00:25:32,561 GIVE ME A LEG UP. 536 00:25:41,305 --> 00:25:43,539 OH, RENE, I THINK I WILL GO AND GET A GLASS OF WATER 537 00:25:43,541 --> 00:25:44,841 BEFORE WE GO BACK TO BED. 538 00:25:44,843 --> 00:25:46,209 YES DO THAT, DEAREST. 539 00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:47,776 I STILL FEEL VERY SHAKY. 540 00:25:47,778 --> 00:25:50,813 IT WAS A SHOCK TO FIND YOU IN THE CUPBOARD WITH HERR FLICK. 541 00:25:50,815 --> 00:25:53,983 IT CAME AS SOMETHING OF A SURPRISE TO ME AS WELL. 542 00:25:59,522 --> 00:26:00,622 YVETTE! 543 00:26:00,624 --> 00:26:02,892 MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 544 00:26:02,894 --> 00:26:05,161 AND WHY ARE YOU DRESSED AS A CAR MECHANIC? 545 00:26:05,163 --> 00:26:08,164 OH, RENE, I'VE HAD A TERRIBLE NIGHT. 546 00:26:08,166 --> 00:26:09,498 HOLD ME. 547 00:26:09,500 --> 00:26:10,532 ARE YOU MAD? 548 00:26:10,534 --> 00:26:12,534 EDITH WILL BE BACK HERE ANY MOMENT. 549 00:26:12,536 --> 00:26:15,104 THAT IS HER NOW. QUICK, YOU MUST HIDE. 550 00:26:15,106 --> 00:26:17,139 HERE, GET IN THE WARDROBE. 551 00:26:19,142 --> 00:26:21,210 I'M SORRY I MISSED OUR RENDEZVOUS 552 00:26:21,212 --> 00:26:22,211 IN THE BROOM CUPBOARD. 553 00:26:22,213 --> 00:26:23,479 YES, SO AM I. 554 00:26:23,481 --> 00:26:25,281 NO, NO, PLEASE. 555 00:26:27,550 --> 00:26:29,318 JUST GET INSIDE, PLEASE. 556 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:30,452 FOR GOD'S SAKE. 557 00:26:31,922 --> 00:26:34,323 OH MY GOD, LIPSTICK. EDITH WILL KILL ME. 558 00:26:34,325 --> 00:26:35,691 Edith: RENE. 559 00:26:35,693 --> 00:26:36,658 OH NO. 560 00:26:40,297 --> 00:26:41,463 RENE, I-- 561 00:26:42,933 --> 00:26:44,700 NOW WHERE HAS HE GONE? 562 00:26:44,702 --> 00:26:47,370 OH, I SEE IT ALL NOW. 563 00:26:47,372 --> 00:26:49,272 HE HAS SNEAKED OUT 564 00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:51,240 FOR AN ILLICIT RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE. 565 00:26:51,242 --> 00:26:53,575 OH, THE VILLAIN. 566 00:26:53,577 --> 00:26:56,478 I WILL CATCH HIM THIS TIME. 567 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,282 I WILL GET DRESSED, AND FOLLOW HIM. 568 00:27:00,650 --> 00:27:02,551 AH! RENE! 569 00:27:02,553 --> 00:27:04,420 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE WARDROBE 570 00:27:04,422 --> 00:27:05,621 WITH THAT SERVING GIRL, 571 00:27:05,623 --> 00:27:07,756 WITH LIPSTICK ALL OVER YOUR FACE? 572 00:27:07,758 --> 00:27:10,793 AND WHY IS SHE DRESSED AS A CAR MECHANIC? 573 00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:13,662 YOU STUPID WOMAN. 574 00:27:13,664 --> 00:27:17,166 THAT IS THE SECOND TIME TONIGHT YOU HAVE DONE THIS. 575 00:27:17,168 --> 00:27:19,035 AND WHAT EXPLANATION HAVE YOU GOT? 576 00:27:19,037 --> 00:27:21,304 I AM NOT MADE OF EXPLANATIONS. 577 00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:24,373 IN A MARRIAGE, THERE MUST BE SOME TRUST. 578 00:27:27,544 --> 00:27:31,880 HE IS RIGHT. I AM OVERREACTING. 579 00:27:31,882 --> 00:27:33,782 I MUST BE CALM 580 00:27:33,784 --> 00:27:35,617 AND THINK THINGS OUT. 581 00:27:36,686 --> 00:27:37,719 ( rattling ) 582 00:27:37,721 --> 00:27:39,555 I HAVE THOUGHT THINGS OUT. 583 00:27:48,131 --> 00:27:49,765 YOU... 584 00:27:50,834 --> 00:27:51,968 OH, NO! 585 00:27:51,970 --> 00:27:53,135 AAH! 586 00:27:54,171 --> 00:27:57,239 ( theme music playing )