1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:20,491
<i>One, two, three, tap. OK, so let's
march step forward to the 7V</i>

3
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:23,410
<i>One, two, three, tap, and back.</i>

4
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,681
<i>And again. And back.</i>

5
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:29,690
<i>Let's do it two more times.</i>

6
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,087
<i>One last time, should
be getting it now.</i>

7
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,361
<i>I'm worn out already.</i>

8
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,687
<i>Here we go - one,
two, three, tap.</i>

9
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,405
<i>Right up, that's it. And again.</i>

10
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,363
<i>Tap. Nice...</i>

11
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,242
<i>Starting to fee! relaxed?</i>

12
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,567
<i>Yeah? Really calming down.</i>

13
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,409
<i>Breathe in.</i>

14
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,171
<i>Come on then, here we go.</i>

15
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,407
<i>And tap. And take it back...</i>

16
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:05,121
<i>Then we're gonna march
on the spot right here.</i>

17
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,209
<i>You might remember this
from the last video.</i>

18
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,571
Errol?

19
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,650
<i>So step forward, and halt.
It goes one, two, and hold.</i>

20
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:15,603
<i>One, two and hold.</i>

21
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,562
<i>- Who's that?
- Melinda.</i>

22
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,489
And this is Virgil.

23
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,484
<i>- What's going on?
- Melinda's video's broken down</i>

24
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:28,047
and she's a bit fat after the baby,
so I said she could use ours.

25
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,889
Ooh-oo!

26
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,090
<i>- How Long have you known her?
- About half an hour.</i>

27
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:38,569
I was going round the block getting
sponsors and we just got chatting.

28
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,489
<i>One more...</i>

29
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,251
<i>- She could be a nutter.
- No, she's a single mum.</i>

30
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,170
There's usually a good
reason why they're single.

31
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,329
<i>And again - here
we go, three taps.</i>

32
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,362
<i>- Will you sponsor me?
- No.</i>

33
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,801
<i>- It's for sick kids.
- Good.</i>

34
00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,047
<i>Let's go - one, two,
three tap, arms up.</i>

35
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,401
<i>Hurry Take it back.</i>

36
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,166
<i>One last time. Here we go.</i>

37
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,202
<i>Drop and tap.</i>

38
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:10,847
You haven't fed him any of
that egg-fried rice, have you?

39
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,168
The rice - it bungs 'em
up, it gives 'em cramps.

40
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,727
Jesus Christ, I'll have
to check the bedding.

41
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,251
Ryan?

42
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:29,644
Jesus Christ! He's escaped!

43
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,164
She says thanks very much
for lending the video.

44
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,202
See? I can be nice.

45
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,486
I wouldn't call it nice.

46
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:42,729
All right, not nice.
It was accurate. Hm.

47
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,762
She was in tears.

48
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:50,601
That was sweat. Anyway, you can't dance
round a stranger's house in your pants

49
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:52,642
and not expect a few comments.

50
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:55,607
Ryan... comes out the cage.

51
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:58,564
What's the first thing he needs?
Warmth.

52
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:04,127
The sofa. Jesus Christ,
he's in the sofa!

53
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:08,051
Move! Move! He-He-He's gone
down the back of the sofa!

54
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:12,085
I'm going in! Hang on a minute...
I'm coming, Ryan!

55
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,646
He's gone down the back of the...
He's...

56
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,047
Hold on a minute. Jesus Christ.

57
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,004
Hold on a minute,
there's no opening.

58
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:24,523
Jesus Christ, who made this pile of shit?
They've sealed the whole lot in!

59
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,562
Hold on a minute.

60
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:30,400
He's probably gone in the mainframe.
Right, get off the sofa.

61
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:34,126
Move off, I'm goin' in.
Hold on, I'll move it...

62
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:38,882
Su Lu, move off the sofa. The sofa.
Off. Sofa. Sofa.

63
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:42,322
I've got to get... Ah, it's
like talking to a brick wall.

64
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,091
Move off the sofa! Oh!

65
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,401
That's tight...
got to get there.

66
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,681
Don't have a go at me,
this was all your fault.

67
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,291
<i>- What did I do?
- You said, "yeah"</i>

68
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:01,051
when the correct answer
was "eh-eh". No.

69
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,651
Well, I don't like saying no.

70
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,650
Well, you should learn.
You should learn that...

71
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,570
the only time you need to
say "yes" is at the airport

72
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,490
when they say, "Did you
pack these bags yourself?"

73
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:20,608
The rest of the time it's no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

74
00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:28,084
Hang on a minute.
I'm comin', Ryan!

75
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,122
I'm coming!

76
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:34,006
Hold on a minute. Unpick
that - unpick the stitching

77
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,647
Right, that's worked loose.

78
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,523
You should be able
to get out of that.

79
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,404
Su Lu, you bang the other end.
Bang the armrest!

80
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:47,365
I'll get him as he comes out. I've
got it covered. Bang the armrest.

81
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,324
Get the tambourine. That's it!
The tambourine!

82
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:54,490
That's it, good. Now, bang the tambourine.
The tamb... Bang-bang!

83
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,171
Bang-bang! No, not the...

84
00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:01,444
Jesus Christ! Not there, on the
side of the... Look ok, like this.

85
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:05,883
You bang the end, and we'll chase Ryan
out the back, like that. Barn barn!

86
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,611
Jesus Christ. He's
made a run for it!

87
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,688
Who was covering the other end?!

88
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:15,883
Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!

89
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,651
Thanks, Malik. It's for
the children's hospital.

90
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:22,480
We need money for security guards
and a new barrier for the car park.

91
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,683
I love to help the children.
Now you do me a favour.

92
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:29,520
<i>- Two air freshener, please.
- You bought two yesterday.</i>

93
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,086
In my country they only sell.
the spray.

94
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,728
Hey, hey, left a bit.

95
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:37,967
Left a bit!

96
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,209
Up a bit. Yeah, them two.

97
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,682
I love this country.

98
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:49,931
Sun newspaper, Channel 5, The
Boat Show, titties everywhere!

99
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,368
I can't believe
anyone could do that.

100
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,846
Yeah. Huge, isn't it?

101
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,087
<i>- I meant in the pool - Oh.</i>

102
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,248
But It ls... big.

103
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:08,165
It's magnified by the water. Once
you get down there you'll see.

104
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,202
I'm not going - I
did it last time.

105
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,403
<i>- It turned out it was a coconut.
- Wasn't my fault.</i>

106
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:17,170
<i>- Well, I'm not doing it.
- Neither am I.</i>

107
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,328
We'll. just have
to leave It then.

108
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,168
<i>- We could, couldn't we?
- What, pretend we haven't seen it?</i>

109
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,850
Yeah.

110
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,166
OK. You stay here and
I'll go down that end.

111
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,009
No, I'll go down
the shallow end.

112
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,247
Oh, cos Stacey's here, isn't it?

113
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:37,841
No, she's not... I
didn't even see her.

114
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,884
I just... fancied going
down there for a change.

115
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,968
<i>- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What?</i>

116
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,209
<i>- Yeah, go on, go on.
- You're pathetic.</i>

117
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:52,646
I need a part for an Alfa Romeo.
Do you do Alfa parts?

118
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,091
Yeah.

119
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:58,682
Fantastic-o. I've been looking all over.
Nobody does Alfa parts round here.

120
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,166
<i>- Don't they?
- No, it's a nightmare.</i>

121
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:04,807
Look, I need an XD14O thrust washer.
You got one?

122
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:06,251
Yeah.

123
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,887
You got it here?

124
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,241
<i>- Yeah.
- You're a star, mate.</i>

125
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,672
Little place like this, I
bet you've got a spare

126
00:07:17,684 --> 00:07:20,648
set of wings for Chitty
Chitty Bang Bang.

127
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,091
Yeah.

128
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,552
<i>I know someone who'd
enjoy your classes.</i>

129
00:07:29,564 --> 00:07:31,367
<i>Send her along.</i>

130
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,448
I warn you, she
can't take a joke.

131
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,687
Is it your girlfriend?

132
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:38,883
No. No way.

133
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:42,208
No. I can't really see you with a girl.
Or a bloke.

134
00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,481
<i>- What do you mean?
- You're a bit funny.</i>

135
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,590
One of the girls said
you're creepy, but I

136
00:07:46,602 --> 00:07:48,684
said, "No, he's all
right, just a bit weird."

137
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,371
What? W-Weird? What...
What sort of...?

138
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:56,008
Ooh-ooh-ooh!

139
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,441
<i>- What's he doing?
- Idiot.</i>

140
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:03,281
He's funny. Oh, I was gonna ask you -
what are you doing tomorrow night?

141
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:06,369
Oh, nothing. Why, you,
er, thinking of...?

142
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,007
No. No, no, no, it's Darren's birthday
and we thought it'd be a Laugh

143
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,951
if only one of us turns
up at the pub and he

144
00:08:11,963 --> 00:08:13,886
thinks he's got to spend
all night with you,

145
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,844
and you go for a meal and
we're all at the restaurant.

146
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,247
Ooh-ooh!

147
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,322
Such an arsehole.

148
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,202
You don't wanna do it?

149
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,208
No, I'll do it.

150
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,649
I'm having trouble finding
the XD14O thrust washer!

151
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,968
You will do, you will have
trouble - we ain't got any.

152
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,968
Hello!

153
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,446
Oh, no, I've told the
bloke that we had some!

154
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:44,689
<i>- Well, go and tell him we ain't.
- I don't like doing that.</i>

155
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,530
Maybe I can go and pick
some up in the van?

156
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,562
The best part of this job

157
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:53,605
is telling some jumped-up prick we
ain't got the part for his poxy motor.

158
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,644
<i>- You'll make more money.
- They cost 32p.</i>

159
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,682
<i>- Oh.
- Do I Look like I need 32p?</i>

160
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,602
You took your time. You got it?

161
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,051
Yeah.

162
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,848
Where is it?

163
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,454
<i>You've actually got it
here in this building?</i>

164
00:09:22,466 --> 00:09:24,451
<i>Yeah. Yeah.</i>

165
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,087
Come on, mate, don't piss me about.
You have got it, haven't you?

166
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:31,283
Yeah, er... Do you need
any air fresheners?

167
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,322
- No.
- Very popular.

168
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,204
<i>- Where is it?
- Would you like to sponsor me?</i>

169
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,447
<i>- No!
- It's for sick kids.</i>

170
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,211
<i>- They need a security guard...
- I need the part.</i>

171
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,648
Oi! Batty man!

172
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:08,729
Oi-oi! Come here! Oi!

173
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:10,762
I'll have you!

174
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,846
Here, mate - hold
that for a minute.

175
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,481
<i>- Oi!
- But... I'm going the other...</i>

176
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,082
OK. Yeah.

177
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,761
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, OK, great.
Yeah, bye.

178
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,644
<i>- What have you said "yeah" to now?
- Nothing.</i>

179
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:19,490
- Does It affect me?
- Not very much.

180
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:24,765
I was in casualty and I met this really
nice old couple who sponsored me and I...

181
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,565
<i>- What you doing?
- 11:71.</i>

182
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,090
Three.

183
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,842
Vince, it's all right, I just...

184
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,403
Hello. Hello, it's
Errol's flatmate here.

185
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,568
The Chinese fella.

186
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:45,926
No, not really. Look, whatever he just
said "yes" to, the answer is now "no", OK?

187
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:51,046
It's changed. It was "yes", it's now "no".
It's different, you understand?

188
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:52,650
Good.

189
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,603
OK, bye.

190
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,289
You shouldn't have done that.

191
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,681
Where's he gonna keep
all his cactuses?

192
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:05,247
His wife's going blind, she
keeps bumping into them.

193
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,282
That's why they
were in casualty.

194
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:11,882
Firstly, the plural of
cactus is not cactuses

195
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:15,402
it's cactises. Cactises.

196
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,410
Secondly, you've got to learn
to say "no" to people.

197
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,328
<i>They're taking the piss.</i>

198
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,240
<i>Some of his cactuses
were 8O years old.</i>

199
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,886
It's cactises! Cactises...

200
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,968
All right, cactises.

201
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,526
He's been collecting 'em
since he was a boy.

202
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,847
<i>They're nice people!</i>

203
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:35,248
And I think I pay rent here.
I'm only just helping out.

204
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:39,444
They're just some plants. He had
a snake, I said "no" to that.

205
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,760
- HI, Chloe.
- Oh, hello.

206
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,646
I forgot to tell you the
restaurant for Darren's birthday.

207
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,842
- Oh.
- 8:30.

208
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,008
I'm really excited, are you?

209
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,441
Darren's gonna be
gobsmacked, isn't he?

210
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,482
How did you get my address?

211
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:04,561
<i>- From the office.
- Well, who told you?</i>

212
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,285
I Looked in your file. Sony.

213
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,324
<i>- Why just ask one of the other...?
- Nobody knows.</i>

214
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,649
When I saw your file, I
couldn't help reading a bit.

215
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:17,729
What does it say? Cos
Darren saw it first.

216
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:21,890
I never saw it, he said, "Look at that."
I said, "You clear it... you saw it."

217
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:26,244
It was his turn. I did it last time. He
should've... You know what he's like.

218
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,250
Cos it was big. Somebody
shoutd've sorted that out.

219
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,851
No, it was your medical records.

220
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,326
Ohh... Phew.

221
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,807
You've only got one... testicle.

222
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,888
What?

223
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,607
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

224
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,051
Yeah.

225
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,969
It's terrible.

226
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:51,085
I won't tell anyone, cos
my dad had one removed.

227
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:54,808
I bet that hurt. Ohh!

228
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,968
Sod that for a game of soldiers.

229
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,522
No, I was born like this.

230
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:04,887
I can see now why
you're like you are.

231
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,161
Must make you very defensive.

232
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:12,286
Well, yeah. Yeah, it does, because,
well people don't understand.

233
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:16,211
You know? It's so hard to find
someone to just talk to about it.

234
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:20,245
<i>- It's very hard.
- Well, if you ever need to talk.</i>

235
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,208
What, about... about that?

236
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,242
Yeah, and anything else.

237
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:26,929
<i>All right, we'll go out
for a drink sometime.</i>

238
00:14:26,941 --> 00:14:28,602
<i>Yeah.</i>

239
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:32,167
Yeah. I'll see if there's
space in my diary.

240
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,249
<i>- OK.
- Plenty of space in my pants...</i>

241
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,487
Ahem. See you tomorrow.

242
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,291
Keeps moving my mat over there.

243
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,322
Prick. Well, he's...

244
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,362
See-See you tomorrow.

245
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,323
Mm.

246
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,727
Oh, all right then.

247
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,922
Take care. Yeah.

248
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,485
Bye.

249
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,761
<i>- Jean?
- Yeah.</i>

250
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,201
<i>- Dog's dead?
- No.</i>

251
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:08,046
<i>- Her veins are playing up?
- No.</i>

252
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,845
<i>- She's lost her pension book?
- No.</i>

253
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,127
<i>- Frank's dead?
- Yeah.</i>

254
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:25,962
Are you sure?

255
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:30,767
You're really? I mean, the word
"cacti", that sounds like one.

256
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,531
It... All right, all
right, calm down, yeah.

257
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,649
Yes, well, yeah, OK, bring
'em round whenever you want.

258
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,642
Yeah, that's fine. Bye.

259
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:45,447
Thanks, Vince. And you're right, I
really should say "no" to people.

260
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:48,609
And, you know, that's
exactly what I'm gonna do.

261
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,642
After the swim-a-thon.

262
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:56,203
<i>- You can't swim.
- I know. Can I borrow some trunks?</i>

263
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,122
Can I have that
middle one, please.

264
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:16,606
In this country, do they
make peanuts for homosexual?

265
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,841
<i>I don't think so.</i>

266
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,484
Good.

267
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,089
<i>- All right, Darren?
- Hooray! All right?</i>

268
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,920
Yeah - lot of hassle. Someone's
nicked the temporary bus stop sign.

269
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:39,682
The bus went straight past, people milling
about - it's like Glastonbury/ out there.

270
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:42,121
Ahh. Happy birthday.

271
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,606
Yeah, do you want a drink?

272
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,642
No, Let's get something to eat.

273
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,967
Where ls everyone?

274
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,482
I don't think they're turning up.
I'm Late, and I bothered.

275
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,522
It's just me and you.

276
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:58,565
Well, I've got a pint, you know,
give it a couple of minutes.

277
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,489
All right.

278
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,970
<i>- Come on, they're not coming.
- They might.</i>

279
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,765
They're not. Well,
they said they're not.

280
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,802
<i>“ Who? ' Everybody,</i>

281
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,444
S1111;

282
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,112
<i>Mm.</i>

283
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,768
<i>Well..give it a couple
more minutes anyway.</i>

284
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:33,001
<i>- [Come on, Let's get something to eat.
- What do you want, a cum]?</i>

285
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,805
<i>- [No, I fancy Italian.
- What about a really hot cum]?</i>

286
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,730
<i>- I said I fancy Italian.
- I want something spicy.</i>

287
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,445
<i>- I want something cheesy.
- I don't like pasta.</i>

288
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,687
<i>- I don't like rice.
- It's my birthday.</i>

289
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:47,008
<i>- I'm the only one who turned up.
- We'll have Italian then.</i>

290
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:49,088
<i>- Right.
- Good.</i>

291
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,926
Wanna know a good restaurant?
Try that Chinese down the road.

292
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,645
<i>- Blindin', it is.
- You want good food?</i>

293
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,160
You go to my brother's
restaurant.

294
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:02,410
Tell them you Mehmet's friend, you get
free drinks. They have belly dancers.

295
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,311
<i>We're having Italian.</i>

296
00:18:04,323 --> 00:18:06,206
<i>Free drinks, belly
dancers, you know...</i>

297
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,369
If we don't have Italian, I'm going home.
That's it.

298
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,768
<i>- All right, we'll have Italian.
- Right.</i>

299
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,802
<i>- I'm just going to the toilet.
- Oh!</i>

300
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,566
All right, Tom? Do us a
Lager, will you, mate?

301
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,322
Ronnie been in?

302
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,447
OI - you, innit?

303
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,643
<i>- You nicked my coat!
- No, I left it... Didn't you get it?</i>

304
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:44,288
<i>- It was in the restaurant.
- You what?! Oi! Hey, get back 'ere!</i>

305
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,522
It's in the restaurant!

306
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:50,481
0l!

307
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,648
<i>- Still not here yet?
- Nah.</i>

308
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,530
Look, mate, it's in the...
Oh fuck!

309
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:02,971
Oh, fuck!

310
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,368
- Can we order starters? I'm starving.
- They'll. be here soon.

311
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,288
<i>I bet Vince has
messed it all up.</i>

312
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:10,200
<i>There's a lot about
Vince you don't know.</i>

313
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,208
Ls there bollocks!

314
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,082
Never caught those
kids, did you?

315
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,883
Oi!

316
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,922
How Long ago did he leave?

317
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:53,762
And the other one?

318
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,802
Right, thanks very much.

319
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,051
Pardon?

320
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,686
I don't talk to strangers
about my breasts!

321
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,364
<i>- Well, thanks a Lot. Thanks a Lot.
- Where you been?</i>

322
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:20,769
I went everywhere looking for you.
What did you leave me In the pub for?

323
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,725
What? I come out of the toilet and
you'd gone. I thought I was on me own.

324
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,450
I waited for you in the pub.
And then I went in

325
00:20:27,462 --> 00:20:30,164
the toilets looking for
you - you weren't there.

326
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:34,285
Where'd you go? Were you so desperate
for a curry you went out the window?

327
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,890
<i>No, I didn't...</i>

328
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,483
<i>I'm the only one here
on your birthday</i>

329
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,522
and you leave me in the pub.

330
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,211
<i>- Sony, mate, I just thought you'd gone.
- Hm.</i>

331
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,561
Well, Let's go and have Italian.
Come on.

332
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,967
[Well, I've got a curry now.
Have a cum].

333
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,810
<i>- No, they're disgusting.
- No, it's lovely.</i>

334
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,529
<i>- Come on.
- What was that?</i>

335
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,091
The reason we have to
have Italian, Stacey has

336
00:21:14,103 --> 00:21:16,646
organised a surprise
birthday party for you.

337
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,887
<i>- Really?
- She doesn't fancy you.</i>

338
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,606
The surprise element's gone but
we can have a good time. Come on.

339
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,842
Why didn't you tell me that
before you licked my dinner?

340
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,930
I was being crafty. It didn't work out.
Come on.

341
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,770
I shouldn't have got this,
I should've got that.

342
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:37,964
I can't believe he'd do
that, just let us down.

343
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,968
You all right?

344
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,731
<i>Nutter!</i>

345
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,442
What was you saying?

346
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:50,484
Oh, about Vince. I can't
believe he'd let us down.

347
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,568
Just like my dad.

348
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,285
<i>He's only got one
bollock, as well.</i>

349
00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:00,289
Right... it's a big surprise.

350
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,051
<i>- Yeah, yeah.
- Don't let me down.</i>

351
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,331
Coat's in the restaurant! Hey?

352
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,410
[@]=©UU

353
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,846
Wow! What a surprise!

354
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,962
This is amazing! I'm
really surprised.

355
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,002
He told you, didn't he?

356
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:29,485
Yes.

357
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,841
<i>- Knob!
- Ohh!</i>

358
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,962
[He wanted a cum]!

359
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:48,082
<i>♪ Since you been gone,
since you been gone</i>

360
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:50,885
<i>♪ La-la-la la-la la-la</i>

361
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:52,922
<i>♪ La-la la-la ♪</i>

362
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,962
Oh, yeah. Yeah, very good.

363
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,163
Because I'm missin' ball.
Get it? Missin' ball?

364
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,363
<i>- Mm-hm.
- Oh, I got one, I got one!</i>

365
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:04,961
<i>♪ I am the one and only</i>

366
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,561
<i>♪ You can't take
that away from me ♪</i>

367
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,604
- Rick Astley!
- It wasn't Rick Astley.

368
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:16,487
<i>♪ Like a bat outta hell I'll be
gone when the morning comes ♪</i>

369
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:19,403
<i>- Meat Loaf!
- Meat Loaf.</i>

370
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:23,889
<i>I got one. ♪ You took the
words right out of my mouth</i>

371
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,402
<i>♪ Must've been when
you were kissing me ♪</i>

372
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,284
<i>- That doesn't make sense.
- It's Meat Loaf.</i>

373
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:31,651
We're singing Meat Loaf songs.

374
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,889
We're singing songs about
me having one testicle.

375
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,207
<i>- Are we?
- I got one.</i>

376
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,368
<i>♪ The first time...</i>

377
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,563
<i>♪ Ever I saw your...</i>

378
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,568
<i>Bollock.</i>

379
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:47,888
Stop it! You're all
being really horrible.

380
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,410
<i>Ooh!</i>

381
00:23:49,422 --> 00:23:50,924
<i>Yeah, you should be
ashamed of yourselves.</i>

382
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:54,407
This is a disgraceful way to
treat a man with one testicle.

383
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:58,729
Do you know what it's like to have
one testicle? Do you? Any of you?

384
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:02,162
Do you know what it's like to
have one testicle? Do you?

385
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,202
You don't, do you? No. No.

386
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:08,529
Neither do I. I haven't got one. I've got
two. I haven't got one, I've got two.

387
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,961
Two testicles, me. Two, not one.
Two.

388
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,367
Yeah? So sing some
songs about that.

389
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,930
<i>- ♪ Two Little boys had two
Little toys... ♪ - Oh...</i>

390
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,122
What do you mean,
you've got two?

391
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,208
I thought you'd be pleased.

392
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,242
Why would you lie?

393
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,993
Well, I've never done
any travelling, haven't

394
00:24:30,005 --> 00:24:32,730
got any hobbies. On paper
my life looks dull.

395
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,286
I've been to Holland once
- Rotterdam.

396
00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:39,410
<i>- ♪ It takes two, ♪ - I told you
about my dad and everything.</i>

397
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:42,922
<i>- ♪ “just me and you ♪ - I bet you
don't wanna go for a drink now.</i>

398
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,327
No, you're too weird.

399
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:49,922
What? I'm weird? Oh, yeah, I'm the
weird one. I'm the weird one, yeah.

400
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:53,248
"Oh, Vince, I don't like you,
you've got two testicles.

401
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,966
"Ooh, that's better, now you've got one.
Let's go and have sex.

402
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,651
"Ugh! You've got one again!
Ugh, go away!"

403
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,286
Yeah, I'm weird. I'm
the weird one, yeah.

404
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,629
It's not like that. Why
would you want people

405
00:25:04,641 --> 00:25:06,962
to think you had one
when you had two?

406
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,686
I was being crafty, you know.
It didn't work out.

407
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,608
Come on.

408
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,689
Come... What's the matter?

409
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,246
You got an Aquaerobics exam?

410
00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:24,929
Suit yourself.

411
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:39,564
Oi! I know you move my mat!

412
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,204
Yeah?

413
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,242
I know it's you.

414
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:45,611
Prick!

415
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,083
Ah!

416
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,848
Ow! Bollocks!

417
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,723
Ah-ha!

418
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,762
Ohh, what's...?

419
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,290
Ow!

420
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,322
Shit! Who the fuck?!

421
00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:18,328
What...? Ow!

422
00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:20,362
I've got to get up
early for work.

423
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,448
Yeah, me too.

424
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:27,448
<i>- We're having a nice time, aren't we?
- Yeah.</i>

425
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,129
Relax, we don't have
to do anything.

426
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,326
I've got a bottle of
champagne in the fridge.

427
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:38,362
No, I really have to go.

428
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,483
<i>- You sure?
- Yeah. Thanks anyway.</i>

429
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,002
I better call you a cab.

430
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:52,084
<i>Mm-hm...</i>

431
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,162
Ah...

432
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,009
Oh...

433
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,163
Ohh...

434
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,807
Oh... oh...

435
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,281
Errol! You going to
the swim-a-thon?

436
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,288
No!

437
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:33,211
Oh, good. You finally had
the courage to be negative.

438
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,766
No, I can't get out of bed!

439
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:37,723
Can you help me?

440
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,809
Huh! What do you think
the answer to that is?

441
00:27:45,756 --> 00:27:46,756
<i>It's me</i>

442
00:27:47,406 --> 00:27:52,306
<i>I think we got off on... Look, one of us
needs to apologise and I don't think...</i>

443
00:27:53,856 --> 00:27:56,956
<i>Hold on, I can't awake fills... {five
written It down. I'll call you back.</i>

444
00:27:57,456 --> 00:27:59,856
<i>Most blokes have got
two, what's your...'</i>

445
00:28:00,456 --> 00:28:02,556
<i>Why don't you go and
sleep with your dad?</i>

446
00:28:02,956 --> 00:28:05,256
<i>This isn't a phone call I
will regret in the morning.</i>

447
00:28:07,306 --> 00:28:08,906
<i>Get your motor running, whoo!</i>

448
00:28:10,256 --> 00:28:11,556
<i>Head out on the highway...</i>

449
00:28:12,756 --> 00:28:14,332
<i>All right, Stacey. Great
night, see you at work.</i>

450
00:28:14,356 --> 00:28:15,356
<i>Babe...</i>

450
00:28:16,305 --> 00:28:22,319
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