1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 2 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:18,291 One! 3 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,242 Excuse...excuse me. 4 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,042 - What do you want? - 15, please. 5 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,082 (Doors close) 6 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,725 (Clears throat) 7 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,286 (Coughs and clears throat) 8 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:46,764 What's your problem? 9 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,802 Nothing, nothing. 10 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:55,804 - Are you having a go? - No, I've got a cough. (Coughs) 11 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:59,401 - That weren't a proper cough. - No, it was. 12 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,010 It was... (Coughs) 13 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,769 See? I've got a cough. 14 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,882 Yeah. Didn't sound like a cough to me. 15 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,690 Two! 16 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:17,406 I know, I've got a cough, you know? 17 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,523 Look, why don't you just say what you want to say? 18 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,848 - I don't want to say anything. - (Laughter) 19 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,690 He's scared, man, he's scared. 20 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,645 - (Door closes) - Yeah, you came that close! 21 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:35,686 Oh! Cobwebs, in here, spiders in the building. 22 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,165 Eurgh! 23 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,248 (Panting) All right? 24 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,722 Nah. (Clears throat) Got a bit of a cough. 25 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,649 (Coughs) 26 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,081 Doesn't sound too bad. 27 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,805 - Piss off. - Three! 28 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,925 You're supposed to use both arms, idiot. 29 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,962 Don't want to. 30 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,123 Then you'll have one big arm, one Little arm. 31 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:06,006 Yeah. Yeah. I want to build this one up... 32 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,566 and keep this one normal. 33 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:10,489 Oh, don't do that. 34 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:13,126 That's freaky - one big arm, one Little arm. 35 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,767 No, this one is really for strong jobs, like hammering, 36 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,928 and this one for delicate things, 37 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,123 like stroking cats, or icing cakes. 38 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:23,366 Mm. 39 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,050 Have you been in the lifts? 40 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,606 - Yeah. - Bit smoky, wasn't it? 41 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,563 Mm, very smoky. 42 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,649 - You're stoned, Errol - Eh? 43 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:37,207 About half an hour you realise, it's not a great idea. 44 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:40,888 If I'm stoned, you must be stoned. 45 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:45,164 So you won't be seeing it my way, you'll be seeing it your way. 46 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,522 I've got one big arm, you don't like it, it's a bit weird... 47 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:49,686 but it's not. 48 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,243 - You're off your tits. - Mm-hm. 49 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,089 So are you. 50 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,804 No. 51 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,844 No, cos when I was younger, I used to smoke a Lot. 52 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,565 In those days, "a lot" meant, like, "a lot". 53 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,324 Not like these days, you know, you hear people say they've had a Lot, 54 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,010 and you Look at it, and you go... 55 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:10,805 "That's not a Lot, that's not a lot". 56 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,731 If you compared what they call a lot to what we call a lot now... 57 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:15,841 (Scoffs) 58 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:17,564 Yeah... Yeah... Yeah... 59 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,206 Like, our Lot, what we used to call a Lot, right, 60 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,447 you could put it on a plate, you got it all out, 61 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,369 out of your bag, and you'd put it on a plate, 62 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,370 it would cover, it would completely cover the plate, 63 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,004 it'd be heaped up, like that, 64 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,203 whereas those kids, they said, you say, "Well, what's a lot then?" 65 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,971 You got it out, they put it on a... It'd be on a saucer, 66 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,970 and it would be...little... 67 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,128 - I think I am a bit, actually. - Mm. 68 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:42,571 You're off your tits. 69 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,289 (Rings) 70 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,885 (Chair scrapes noisily on kitchen floor) 71 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,929 (Scraping continues) 72 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,564 (Toilet flushing) 73 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,686 (Ringing continues) 74 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,329 (Chair scrapes) 75 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,362 (Zimmer frame creaks) 76 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,760 (Chair scrapes noisily) 77 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,882 (Ringing continues) 78 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,643 Why do they have to smoke it in the lift? 79 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,170 Cos of the pigeons. 80 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,521 One...two... 81 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:40,925 What? 82 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,645 You know the old lady upstairs that feeds the pigeons? 83 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:45,887 - No. - Yeah, you told me about her. 84 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:51,409 It was a guess. If you've got a lot of pigeons, somewhere along the Line, 85 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,363 an old lady'll be involved. 86 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,802 Well, you know the lads, they just normally smoke by the bins, 87 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:59,650 but they keep getting covered in pigeon poo, so... 88 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,001 you know, they smoke in the lifts now. 89 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:06,249 - They got hoods, haven't they? - Yeah, they have, they definitely have. 90 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,362 Cos I was chatting to 'em. 91 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,209 Nice Lads. 92 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,689 - How much do you think this mug's worth? - 39 pence. 93 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,609 Yeah? 94 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,642 Bought it in the car-boot sale. 95 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,565 39 pence... 96 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,887 - Mm. - And that's all profit. 97 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,605 No Labour, no production, advertising. 98 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:30,246 39p, straight in your pocket. And would you pay 70? 99 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,089 Oh yeah, yeah, I like it. 100 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,209 (Rings) 101 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,282 (Ringing continues) 102 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,369 (Ringing continues) 103 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,682 How much do you think I'd get for this? 104 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,370 - 20p? - (Tuts) 105 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,483 You'd get a quid, easy! I mean, that, that's metal. 106 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:02,806 Mm. 107 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,764 I mean, this Lot, probably worth 15,16 quid. 108 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,724 That's your pitch paid for. The rest is profit. 109 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,809 - You're really gonna do this car-boot sale, eh? - Yeah. 110 00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:16,050 Oh! What happens when the, er, "Oooooooh" wears off? 111 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,447 That wore off ages ago. 112 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,448 This is a brilliant idea. 113 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,404 Not like your idea. One big arm, one Little arm. 114 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:24,726 Idiot. 115 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:26,646 Ooh! 116 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:28,125 I'll have this! 117 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:29,969 (Vince) Tenner. 118 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,846 - How much do you think we'd get for this lot? - You can't sell them. 119 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,882 They belong to the brothers. 120 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,402 - So? - Well, they're a bit...nutty. 121 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:44,725 (# Banjo music) 122 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,048 Yes! 123 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,286 Mam! 124 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,767 - Can I have a Ribena? - Yeah, me too. 125 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,802 - You selling this stuff? - No, I'm chucking that out. 126 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:10,320 A few old letters, a few of my drawings. 127 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,408 Why couldn't you sell 'em? 128 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,762 Well, I mean, would you buy a picture of Bugs Bunny with an erection? 129 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:16,801 Mm... No. 130 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:30,168 Oh! I'm sick of this. 131 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:34,283 Oh! I'm phoning the council. 132 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,403 Don't, she isn't doing any harm. 133 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,761 I'm sick of pigeon... Oh! 134 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:44,442 - Look at it. - Don't. Maybe we could make friends with her. 135 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:48,724 - Or Liaise. - She won't like us. We're not pigeons. 136 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,683 You're such a coward. 137 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,929 Not complaining about the lads in the lifts or the ping-pong balls, 138 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,928 but a Little old lady who feeds pigeons? 139 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:02,724 I'm phoning the council. They're not gonna do anything about it, nothing's gonna happen, 140 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,286 it'll just make me feel better. 141 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,209 OK. 142 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:17,530 Oh, hello, do you have like a "nutty neighbours" department? 143 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,211 Yeah, for ones that are really "Urrh!" 144 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:22,765 Yeah, I'll hold. 145 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,609 (# Banjo music) 146 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,768 Mum, where's that Ribena? 147 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,201 Are we playing? No! 148 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,765 Where you going? 149 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,770 Go on... Where you...? 150 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:49,043 Jesus Christ, it's started. Hang on. 151 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,730 I'll get a tape. 152 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,286 (# Porn music on TV) 153 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,880 (Woman moaning softly) 154 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:10,401 Jesus Christ... I hate this pile of shit. 155 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,807 Can't get the wrapper off. 156 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,086 Just." 157 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,929 There we are, lovely. 158 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,126 (Moaning continues) 159 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,249 Oh, Jesus wept! The nail's come out the wall. 160 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:34,080 You can take that kimono off if you're a bit too hot. 161 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:35,963 Wait a minute. Hold on. 162 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,729 Get off, move off the sofa. 163 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,127 Off sofa, Su Lu, the... the... 164 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,242 Hold on a minute. Hold on. 165 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:43,930 Hold on. 166 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,521 Why don't you just get up there? 167 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,927 Here we are. 168 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,530 There we go... Jesus... 169 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,244 "wept! 170 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,245 Leave it. 171 00:09:57,280 --> 00:10:00,363 Jesus Christ, it's melded into the plastic! 172 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,529 Ah! Lovely! 173 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,402 Cor! 174 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,881 (Moaning on TV becomes more frantic) 175 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,209 Hello. 176 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:22,602 - What did you get that for? - I've always wanted one of these. 177 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,120 Ever since I was at school. 178 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,367 Mr Paisley wouldn't let me use it. 179 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:31,883 He used to say, "Errol, it'll be a cold day in hell before I let you near my windows". 180 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,048 We haven't got those sort of windows. 181 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,889 Don't care. 182 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:42,162 Yes! That'll clear the stink bomb. 183 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,441 - How much? - Two pounds. 184 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,881 - Two pounds? Amazing, isn't it? - Yeah. 185 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,161 - You know that staple gun? In the cupboard? - What? 186 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:53,683 - I never realised, worth 4O pence. - Oooh! 40p. 187 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,644 - Get us a tea, will you? - Tea's 50. 188 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,042 Don't worry about it. 189 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:17,249 I recognise that one. And this one. 190 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,248 You live beneath us, don't you? 191 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,965 - Dunno. Do I? - Yeah, you do. 192 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,367 Yeah, we've seen you. And you. 193 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:28,246 - Where did you get all these balls from then? - Did you find them on your balcony? 194 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,282 No. 195 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,571 - They know you nicked them. - Shut up! 196 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:50,521 - You gonna stand there all. day? - They're our balls. 197 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,609 You're not the only people who play table tennis, you know. 198 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,802 We play a lot of table tennis. 199 00:11:56,840 --> 00:12:00,242 Don't Look like people who play table tennis. 200 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,487 Well, some people don't make it so obvious. 201 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,807 I mean, he is brilliant. Aren't you? 202 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,330 Yeah, I'm all right. 203 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,771 He'd thrash you two. 204 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,849 - (Scoffs) - What bat do you use then? 205 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,008 Erm... It's a red one. 206 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,929 Stiga? Chester Barnes? 207 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,850 - Butterfly? - Smooth or pimpled? 208 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,531 It's a red one. It's just... It's just a red bat. 209 00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:24,451 I got it for Christmas the year our Barn; ate all the toothpaste and was sick on the stairs. 210 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,801 - Katish had finished with... - Yeah. 211 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,286 Don't worry about that, he's very good. 212 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,085 - Are you any good? - Yeah. 213 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,930 Until I was 12, I just played with me hands. 214 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:46,448 - All right, we'll play you for them. - What, so I win, I get to keep my own balls? 215 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:50,849 - What's in it for me? - Well, if you win, you get to beat us. 216 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,405 (Laughter) 217 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,408 Nah. 218 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,249 All right, I'll give you a tenner. 219 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,965 Yeah, and I'll give you a tenner. 220 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,367 Why are you so keen to play us? 221 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,563 - We just wanna play somebody else. - Look, we just want to play someone else. 222 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:20,165 - How much is your flask? - With or without lunch? 223 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,761 - Oh, sorry, I thought It was for sale. - No, It's for sale. 2.50. 224 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,690 - OK. - I'll. just knock this back. 225 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,449 Ooh! 226 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,291 @GEGDU 227 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,891 - ls It very hot? - Yeah. 228 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,602 (Gasping) 229 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,566 I feel bad, making you rush your Lunch. 230 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:11,646 It's fine. 231 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,569 Ooh! 232 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:51,089 - I'll come back later - You won't come back. Nearly finished. 233 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,449 Oh, dear! 234 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:15,130 (Glam Oh! 235 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,571 Oh, well. 236 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,689 (Gasps) Hold on. 237 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:40,362 - Are you all right? - Oh! 238 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,209 Ooh! 239 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,361 Oh: Sony. 240 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,884 - Errol, can you Look after the stall? - Yeah. 241 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,763 I've got to go home for a bit. 242 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,363 (Laughter) 243 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,891 - What's going on? - Just clearing out this old dear's flat. 244 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:22,561 You should see the state of the place, pigeon shit everywhere. 245 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,207 - Where's she gone? - Dunno, mate. 246 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,121 Were you friends? 247 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,891 Not really friends, she was a bit cliquey. 248 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:38,845 Only, we got this bag of stuff here. I was gonna chuck it out. 249 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,531 - What's in it? - No idea, mate. 250 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,449 The usual Nana crap. 251 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,484 Well, yeah, I am a bit, actually, yeah. 252 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:51,082 Just, you know, I took the day off work, I've lost a day's wages and I haven't got a new fridge. 253 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,851 (Woman with sexy voice) Oh, that's awful, I'm really sorry. 254 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:59,171 - Do you have a delivery number? - Yes, it's, erm...PF3647. 255 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,725 Let me have a quick look. 256 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:05,687 Ah, the driver broke down, he's going to be late. He should be there by three, is that OK? 257 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,370 Oh right, yeah, that's fine, yeah. 258 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:11,086 Look, I'm very, very sorry again, somebody should have phoned you. 259 00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:13,487 - No problem. Thanks. - Thank you. 260 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,726 - Bye. - Bye. 261 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,202 You can't sell her things. 262 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,009 They were going in the bin. 263 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,406 I mean, I didn't think they'd chuck her out. 264 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,602 What did you think they were gonna do? 265 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,166 I thought they'd write her name on a piece of paper, 266 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,965 put a coffee cup on top of it, get pregnant, 267 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,721 take two years off work and send her a Letter in Urdu about recycling. 268 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:54,402 - Don't Look at me like that. - Don't you feel ashamed? 269 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:56,851 Little bit. 270 00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,844 Obviously, you know, she didn't need any of this stuff. 271 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:05,920 What, she didn't need this? What, she didn't need this? 272 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,843 Oh, and she definitely doesn't need this. 273 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,769 It's still wet. 274 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,928 Probably condensation. 275 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,000 No...tears. 276 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,451 Eurgh! 277 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:24,929 (Vince) Just because she feeds pigeons, doesn't mean she'll be at Trafalgar Square. 278 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,644 That's like saying if you like women, 279 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,126 you spend all your time in Stringfellows. 280 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,686 - Right. - Know what I mean? It's pointless. 281 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:36,965 What do you think? Where would a one-eyed old woman who feeds pigeons hang out? 282 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,961 I've checked the beer garden. No sign of her. 283 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,765 - Worth a tn; - Come on. 284 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,370 Well, no, it's hopeless, isn't it? 285 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,050 We don't even know what she looks like. 286 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:52,211 She's got one eye, she feeds pigeons, and she's homeless. 287 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:56,928 (Vince) Just because she's got one eye, doesn't mean she'd be in the London Eye. 288 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,406 (Errol) No, it attracts a lot of tourists. 289 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:04,287 Tourists eat sandwiches, sandwiches mean crumbs, crumbs mean pigeons. 290 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,561 - I can't see any pigeons. - Yeah... 291 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:07,965 Sorry. 292 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,206 (Speaking Japanese) 293 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,527 Do Japanese eat sandwiches? 294 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:13,562 This is a waste of time, we're wasting our time. 295 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,568 (Japanese woman) Could you take us, please? 296 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,409 OK, all right. 297 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,489 - Thank you! - Hello! 298 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,330 (Vince) I mean, you have to think, where do you get pigeons? 299 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:28,126 - (Errol) They're everywhere! - Exactly. 300 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,766 (Errol) So you think we should Look everywhere? 301 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:36,330 (Vince) No, I think we should give up. We've got a table tennis match in an hour. 302 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,203 (Errol) If we don't find her, I'm not playing. 303 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,209 What are you doing? I'll do it, I'll do it... 304 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,689 (Inserts coin) 305 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,129 Right. 306 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,767 Yeah, trying to find an old lady, she used to live at Elderberry House. 307 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,280 Fed pigeons. The council threw her out. 308 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,722 - A few people complained. - We get a lot of this. 309 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:11,810 Old ladies feeding pigeons who upset the neighbours. 310 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,923 So we herd them all together in what we call a pigeon feeders' refuge. 311 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:18,567 - Right. - Basically, it's a big house, 312 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,604 full of old ladies covered in pigeons, it's on Grange Road. 313 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,723 - What number? - It's covered in pigeons. 314 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,762 (Pigeons cooing) 315 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,529 Come on! 316 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,121 That is disgusting! 317 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,366 Oh! 318 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:42,611 Oh, hello, we're looking for Mrs Brookes. She was moved here by the council. 319 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,450 - Are you going to take her away? - Why? 320 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:50,088 Well, I mean, we all like feeding pigeons, but she's ridiculous. 321 00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:54,125 She's upsetting the other girls, feeding their pigeons as well. 322 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,926 - (Slowly) Is she in? - Yes, top of the stairs. 323 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:03,285 - You'll know which room it is. - And Errol, just drop the bag and we'll go. 324 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,242 - How old are you? - 75. 325 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,682 - When did your husband die? - 1998. 326 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,768 - Grandchildren? - Seven. 327 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,451 What was the most difficult thing to find during the war? 328 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,130 Bananas. 329 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,162 Right, that's the small talk done. 330 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,123 Errol! Come on! 331 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:35,250 (# Old-time music playing through door) 332 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,561 (Crunching sound) 333 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,520 - OK, coming. - More crumbs. 334 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,369 Yeah. 335 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:49,685 - More! - Yeah. 336 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,961 Oh! What are you doing? 337 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,331 She's running out of crumbs. 338 00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:55,567 - More crumbs! - OK, OK. 339 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,161 - What about that lot? - They're rejects, she said they're no good. 340 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,440 More! More! 341 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,289 Come on, Let's go. 342 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,722 Oh! What is it with you and feeding pigeons? 343 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:09,207 Well, what else you gonna do with all these crumbs? 344 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:12,767 - You could stop making 'em. - Oh. no. 345 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:16,850 Last time I ran out of crumbs, this happened. 346 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,729 (Both) Eurgh! 347 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:22,525 Are you enjoying that? 348 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,365 You stoned yet? 349 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,641 - Stoned? - No. 350 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,604 Give him another one. 351 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,568 - I feel sick! - Shut up and smoke! 352 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,602 - Smoke it, what's wrong with you? - I will. 353 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,483 Eh, not your turn. 354 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,761 Anyone got a roach? 355 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,246 What's going on? 356 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,681 New drugs policy - give them as much as they can take 357 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,722 and they'll never go near the stuff again. 358 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,731 Like when your dad catches you smoking and makes you smoke loads of fags. 359 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,081 No, it's nothing like that, this is cannabis. 360 00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:58,726 Shut up and roll, you. 361 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,206 Mr Blunkett thought it up on holiday. 362 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,844 All right, lads? 363 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,530 (All) Errol! 364 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,881 Yeah, mash up! 365 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,402 I can't take it no more. 366 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,051 Are you not real coppers? 367 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:18,050 - (All laugh) - Shut up. 368 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,811 Shut up! Shut up, I said! 369 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:25,607 - (Squealing Laughter) - Shut up and smoke! Shut up! 370 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:26,880 Shut up! 371 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,922 (# Loud punk music) 372 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,442 Happy birthday! 373 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,450 (Laughter) 374 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,528 (# Banjo music) 375 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,087 That was yours, you were supposed to get that. 376 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,286 Oh! 377 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,807 Come on! 378 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,883 W SEW 379 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,081 (Whistling) 380 00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:00,088 (Panting with Laughter) 381 00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,690 Ready? 382 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,168 - Lovely! - Thanks. 383 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,249 (Both) Ooh! Boom! Ooh! 384 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,362 Ooh! Aah! 385 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:13,881 Ooh! 386 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,930 Mum, you got a plaster? 387 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,006 - Match point! Come on! - Yes! Come on! 388 00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:31,362 Focus. 389 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,609 - (Music stops) - (Woman) Dinner's ready! 390 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:40,043 - Thought you said you were good at this. - I am, you just keep getting in me way. 391 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,050 - Think you can beat them on your own? - Yeah. 392 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,081 All right. 393 00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:45,645 (# The Damned." So Messed Up) 394 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,284 (Shouting) 395 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:04,043 I've injured my hand, you'll have to play them on your own. 396 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:05,491 Is that all right? 397 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,807 - Fair enough. - Your funeral. 398 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,683 (Tittering) 399 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,523 - You ready? - Yeah. 400 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,404 - What did you have for dinner? - Toad-in-the-hole. 401 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:16,680 No chance. 402 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,727 - Oh yes! - Come on! 403 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,809 It's your return, it's your return. 404 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,485 (Grunting) 405 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:52,886 Come on! 406 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,370 What's that? What you doing? 407 00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:13,089 (Chortles) 408 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:17,170 What was that? 409 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:20,406 You're rubbish! 410 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,122 Alan...you're in my way. 411 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,248 - Oh! Ow! Ow! - You all right? 412 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,568 - (Chuckles) - Show me, show me, show me. 413 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:34,011 Show us. 414 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,446 - Come on, concentrate! - Let's go. Come on. 415 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:41,925 Match point. 416 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,604 (Woman) Pudding! 417 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,246 (Both) Yes! 418 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,690 - All right. - Yeah. 419 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,610 - You only won a game, that's all. - Yeah. Winner! 420 00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,449 Errol Errol 421 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,883 Errol 422 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,366 I thought you'd cleaned these windows. 423 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,289 (Errol) I did. 424 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,005 Could've eaten me dinner off 'em... 425 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,361 if it were flat and not like they are. 426 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,404 Has she moved back in? 427 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:20,968 No, the lads in the lifts are squatting in her flat. 428 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,809 I was just chatting to them earlier. 429 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:25,320 - What, and they've started feeding pigeons? - Yeah. 430 00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:27,442 But only when the police van's parked outside. 431 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,322 Errol Where's the phone? 432 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,441 (# Old-time music through door) 433 00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:44,407 (# Method Man." Even If) 434 00:27:45,305 --> 00:27:51,437 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/ny99 Help other users to choose the best subtitles