1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,080 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 2 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,360 (INHALES DEEPLY) 3 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,440 (GROANS) 4 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:46,440 Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! 5 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,040 (EXHALES) 6 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,560 It'll be all right with a bit of jewellery. 7 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,360 (CLICKS TONGUE) Oh, God, that's so stupid! 8 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:00,560 No, no, no, no. 9 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,080 This is heavy. 10 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,880 There's not enough room on my bones for that sort of weight! 11 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,240 (TOILET FLUSHES) 12 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,080 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 13 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,320 (CLANGING) 14 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,960 Those are real gold, they must weigh more than that! 15 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:25,960 God! 16 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,400 (CHANTING GIBBERISH) 17 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,680 -Oh, dear! -Morning, sweetie. 18 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,040 I'm only gonna wear orange from now on, darling. 19 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:44,320 Religious purposes. 20 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:45,960 (CONTINUES CHANTING GIBBERISH) 21 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:47,760 You've been getting dressed for three hours 22 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:49,680 and you still look like a bloated citrus fruit. 23 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:54,280 Sweetie, it is a very healing colour, a very positive colour. 24 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:57,680 I'm getting rid of all my other clothes. 25 00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,680 Is that really the best you could come up with? 26 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:01,720 Oh, God! 27 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:05,320 Well, I mean, only this and the dreaded kaftan fitted. 28 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,240 And when I say "fitted", it was filled to capacity. 29 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,080 I mean, all my clothes have got stretch marks, darling. 30 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,200 I mean, honestly, you wouldn't believe how much I weigh. 31 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,880 -I would. -I mean, I know I don't look hugely over-weight, darling. 32 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,160 -You do. -But, I mean, what I saw in that mirror shocked me. 33 00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,640 Barbara Bush with no clothes on. 34 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,680 -I can't believe it. -Who did you expect? 35 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,120 -Well, Marisa Berenson, of course. -Who? 36 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:32,280 I've only ever seen Marisa Berenson. 37 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,600 Sometimes Cher. 38 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,200 -Pre-knife. -Mmm. 39 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,440 -Do you want some tea? -Oh, no. Coffee. Black. Shouldn't drink milk. 40 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:41,800 -Oh, God, why am I so fat? -You're not so fat. 41 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:43,240 I am! Why? 42 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,640 Well, for a start, you eat too much, you drink too much, 43 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,800 -and you take no exercise. -Darling, darling, please. 44 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,880 It's far more likely to be an allergy to something, isn't it? 45 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,280 You know, a sort of build-up of toxins or something, 46 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,640 or a hormone imbalance, isn't it? Hmm? 47 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,400 Also, sweetie, I've got a very heavy aura. 48 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:03,360 Do you know that? Mmm. 49 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,280 That's why animals love me, darling. 50 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,520 They just see you as something to hibernate in. 51 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,120 I take it you want a chocolate croissant? 52 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,600 Pain au chocolat we call it in this house, darling. 53 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,480 And no, thanks, I won't. I'll just nibble a corner of yours. 54 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,400 There's only one thing to be done. (CHUCKLES) 55 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:20,760 (SNIFFLES) 56 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,920 It's the chocolate I have to avoid in these, darling. I'm all right with the pastry. 57 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,960 -Can I speak to Dr Jackson, please? It's Edina. -Mum! 58 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,200 (SOFTLY) Shh. Sweetie. 59 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,920 Philip darling, it's Eddy. 60 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,440 Look, can I have a few more of those pills 61 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,240 I had last time? Mmm. 62 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,880 I want to lose a stone. Two weeks. 63 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,400 Hmm. 64 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,640 It must be a year since I had them last, isn't it? 65 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:42,880 Hmm? 66 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,240 But they're just palpitations, for God's sake. 67 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,360 Hmm? 68 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,040 Are you telling me I can't have them? 69 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,640 What is the point of having a private doctor if he won't do what you want? 70 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,200 Listen. 71 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:54,240 Please! 72 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,120 I want them to kill me! 73 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,960 God! Philip? 74 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,200 Can you believe he's not going to give them to me, darling? 75 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,240 Good. You can't just take huge quantities of speed to lose weight. 76 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,800 You can, darling. He treats royalty, believe me. 77 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,720 Anyway, who wouldn't suffer a minor coronary for that degree of weight loss, I ask you? 78 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,600 Look, Mum, all you've got to do is eat less and take a bit of exercise. 79 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,400 Oh, sweetie, if it was that easy, everyone would be doing it. 80 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,520 I mean, what do you mean? I do take exercise. 81 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,560 You get out of bed. It ends there. 82 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,400 I know what I'll do. I'll wait till Patsy gets here and phone her doctor. 83 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:28,520 He'll do anything. 84 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,360 And if that doesn't work, darling, I'm going to go down to that Chinese clinic. 85 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,520 -You know the one. -(GROANS) Here we go. 86 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,640 Well, sweetie, the reason... It's not what I eat or how much I eat. 87 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,680 It's these things in here. This fridge is just filled with crap, darling! 88 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,440 Just filled with crap. 89 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,960 Honestly. Look at this! I should only be eating organic food. 90 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,800 Food with the dirt still on it, darling. 91 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,640 I'll throw out all the food in this fridge. 92 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,360 This is revolting. I should just be eating green and white holistic food. 93 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:53,360 Shouldn't I, sweetie? I shouldn't be eating... 94 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,480 Oh, that's still got some in it, sweetie. 95 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,960 I shouldn't be eating all this, should I, darling? 96 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,840 Anyway, first I'm going to go on a fast. 97 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,240 Well, it's not the sort of fast you're thinking of, darling. 98 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,120 It's a special fast. 99 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,080 Sort of, "eating a lot" sort of fast? 100 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,560 -Just try and help me. Try! -What can I say? 101 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:17,880 Well, darling, just try to be a little less Western in your thinking if you can, please. 102 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,600 I mean you realise of course in Zen terms, 103 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,720 everything in the universe is just molecules, don't you? 104 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:26,240 Ying and Yong, Ping and Pong! 105 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,760 Mmm? Mmm? Did you know that, darling? 106 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:32,840 These are my molecules. That's your little clump of molecules over there, sweetie. 107 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,600 I mean, in real terms, there's no difference between me and the coffee, 108 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:38,520 me and the table, me and a tree, me and Madonna, for God's sake! 109 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:41,120 -Except that you have a fatter bottom. -(SPITS) 110 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,800 -Shut up. -Well, what do you want me to say? 111 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:48,120 Mum, it doesn't matter to me that you haven't seen your navel in 25 years 112 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,600 -or you can wear your stomach as a kilt. -Darling! 113 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:51,880 Just tell me you're happy. 114 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,480 Well, how can I be happy with this great bulk hanging off my skeleton? I can't! 115 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,520 All right, then. Do something about it. 116 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,560 -But do something sensible. -(SCOFFS) 117 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,720 Do not use that word in this house, please, darling. 118 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,400 -I mean, you're not ill. You don't have a disease. -As far as I know. 119 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,840 -You're not menopausal. -No, still very much menstrual, thank you, sweetie. 120 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,240 You've been tested for everything under the sun 121 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,320 -so you aren't allergic to anything. -Wrong! Jellyfish. 122 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,360 There's more of your blood sitting in test tubes around the world 123 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,360 than currently circulating in your veins. 124 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:22,160 I mean, you've tried every fad drug, every fad diet that's ever existed. 125 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,520 I mean, more money has been poured into your quest for Twigginess 126 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,240 than goes in aid to most third world nations, and somehow, Mum, 127 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,400 somehow, you're still two stone overweight. 128 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:31,720 -One stone, actually! -(DOORBELL BUZZING) 129 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:34,400 -Mum! -Well, darling, I mean... 130 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,200 -You know, for my height. -How tall? 131 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,360 Six foot. 132 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,520 -Morning, Eddy. -Oh, Pats, look, just stand there. 133 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,960 I'm going to lift my shirt. I want an honest opinion. 134 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,080 Surgery. Liposuction on the stomach and hips, 135 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,360 bum lift, tit lift. Lose a rib. 136 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:51,680 (GASPS) 137 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,000 This is Georgy. Say hello, Georgy. 138 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,360 -Hi. -Should we have some coffee, Georgy? 139 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,280 Oh, I don't know. I, uh... 140 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,080 No, I'd better not. I've got to be at the gym in a few minutes. Uh... 141 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,920 -Thanks anyway, ladies. -Girls, Georgy. We are girls. (CHUCKLES) 142 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:10,360 Goodbye, then. Don't pump too much iron at that gym of yours, all right, sweetie? 143 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,640 I'll see you later. 144 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:23,200 -What do you think? -Well, he's nice of a type, isn't he, Pats? 145 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,280 A toilet-trained gorilla! 146 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:26,680 (HISSES) 147 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:28,080 Nobody asked you. 148 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,920 Well, you can't have anything in common. You can't have anything to talk about. 149 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,080 (CHUCKLES) 150 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,400 She doesn't want someone to "talk to", darling. 151 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,400 -I've got you to talk to. -Exactly. 152 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,800 I mean, no one blinks an eye if an older man goes out with a young girl bimbo, do they? 153 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,440 -But what's really sick... Listen up, Patsy. -Huh... 154 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:45,680 What's sick, darling, is when a non-bimbo girl goes out with a really old man. 155 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,080 That's sick, isn't it? 156 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,240 Mum, what is this world you live in? 157 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,040 What does "bimbo" and "non-bimbo" mean? 158 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:52,400 -Real world, darling. -SAFFY: Oh. 159 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,880 Eddy, you remember that time I went out with Ferruzzi? 160 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,240 Saffy, this man was 55 years old for God's sake. 161 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,680 The only thing that got him up in the night was his bladder. 162 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,200 Do you get it? Do you get it? 163 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:09,200 The only thing he got "up" for was to have a slash. 164 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,040 Oh! Remind me not to tell that one again when I'm sober. 165 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,840 Sober? Chance would be a fine thing! 166 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,120 (EDINA GROANS) 167 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:20,800 Right, Eddy, so, 168 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,760 -body crisis? -Absolutely. Are you sure about surgery? 169 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,520 It's a viable option nowadays, darling. Everyone's doing it. 170 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,520 -My face? -Up to you. 171 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,880 Yuck! 172 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,720 -I'm a little Germaine Greerish, aren't I? -Oh, God forbid. 173 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,160 I think she's great! 174 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,040 Ooh, darling, she was once cool, 175 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,400 but Mr Gravity's been very unkind to that woman. 176 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,600 -So, on face? Yes. -No! 177 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,120 Darling, look at these wrinkles. 178 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,200 Mum, that's age. That's what happens. 179 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,480 Sweetie, this is premature ageing. 180 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,720 Therefore, I can legitimately have it corrected. 181 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:54,400 You look fine. 182 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:55,880 I could look better, sweetie. 183 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,280 Time and money is all it takes, Ed. 184 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,840 -Look. The thing to do is to be scientific about it. -Right. 185 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,840 Now, have a quick flick through these and find someone you want to look like. 186 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,560 -Good. Right. -(BUZZER RINGS) 187 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:07,960 -That'll be Dad. -Oh, what's he doing here? 188 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,920 -He's come to see me. -Ooh. 189 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:12,600 Do you like that? I do need a bit of inspiration. 190 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,360 I mean, I could go out and just buy a lot of new clothes two sizes too small. 191 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,520 But ooh, done that before. 192 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,600 -What's the recovery time on liposuction? -Hours. 193 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,240 -Hello, there. -Justin! 194 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,080 Sweetheart! 195 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:26,920 (CHUCKLES) 196 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:31,160 -I wasn't informed you were coming. -I thought you'd be at work. 197 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,720 I've come to see my daughter. 198 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,040 She's my daughter, too, you know! 199 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,200 I'll never be able to forget that. 200 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,240 -Oliver's not with you, I hope? -Mum, stop it now. 201 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,320 Sweetie! 202 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,000 We're your parents having a civilised conversation. Butt out! 203 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,480 -How are things with Oliver? -Oh, they're very good, actually. 204 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,240 -Oh, good. Oh, good. I'm so glad. -Actually, yes. Very good. 205 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,880 -Oh, I'm very pleased. -Steady, Eddy. 206 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,640 How you could've chosen to live with an evil, vicious, 207 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,160 pot-bellied, ugly little dwarf is beyond me! 208 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,040 Your mother and I were happy for a time, you know? 209 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:07,840 God, honestly! Now you turn up here with not so much as a present for me. 210 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,400 Oh, no, Dad, don't. Not this time. 211 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,320 I mean, you sit there in your little antique shop with Oliver 212 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,000 and not so much as a present or a thought for me who is here 213 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,760 -coping, bringing up your daughter... -Okay, okay. 214 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,320 In the shop there's this lovely little Indian turban box. 215 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:25,520 Silver-inlaid top with beautiful hand-painted scenes around the side. 216 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,360 -£1,000? -Darling! Oh, thank you. 217 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:37,520 Ah! Table, 18th century, walnut, turned legs, 218 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,000 lovely in the dining room, darling. 219 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:41,920 Thank you, Justin. 220 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,320 -Okay, come on, Ed. Car's here. Let's go. -Okay. 221 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,800 -Dad, stop compensating. It's been 10 years! -Bye, darling. 222 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:49,920 Oh, driving in? 223 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,560 Yeah, what do you think I should do? Fly? 224 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,280 Actually, that's not a bad idea. 225 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,360 No, I just find it strange, that's all. I mean, I just can't understand 226 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,720 how someone who could have been into absolutely everything 227 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:00,800 for the past 20 years, 228 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,120 I mean, not one trend has passed her by, 229 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,680 yet somehow she's conveniently dodged ever having to take any exercise. 230 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,880 -I mean, that fad, that craze was missed by a mile. -Hmm. 231 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,880 Stop showing off to your father like this! 232 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,320 Can I just explain about that for a second, darling? 233 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,200 Help me here, Justin. 234 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,560 In the '60s, darling, we were too stoned to jog. 235 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,720 In the '70s, 236 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,720 we had platform shoes. 237 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,040 And in the '80s, darling, uh... 238 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,480 -What happened in the '80s? -Her brain cells were destroyed in the '60s. 239 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:32,680 You know, she can't remember. 240 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,600 -The age of the punk. -Yes! Punk, darling. 241 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,560 We were too busy putting pins through our noses! (SCOFFS) 242 00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,320 But you were too old to be a punk, weren't you? 243 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:41,640 (SCOFFS) 244 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,000 -Darling, I was a punk. -I know. 245 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:45,480 Oh! 246 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:46,720 Don't let her talk to you, Eddy. 247 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,760 I mean, she's the one who ruined your figure in the first place. 248 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,760 She's the one who turned you into this 249 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,840 potato that we see before us. 250 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,600 Now, now, now, now. That's unfair. 251 00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:00,120 I liked you when you were sort of heavier. You know, you were more, um... 252 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,880 -What? -Um, cuddly. 253 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,600 EDINA: Oh, God! I'm sick. PATSY: I'm going to throw up. 254 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,200 -I mean, tough! Really tough. Really tough. -Let's go. 255 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,840 We'll go in a public transport, Pats. 256 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,160 What? Are you mad? I've got nothing to wear on public transport! 257 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,200 Listen, sweetie, I will not have my daughter thinking 258 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,400 she's so great because she can use public transport. 259 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,760 Anybody can use public transport, darling! 260 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,080 I know. That's the point. 261 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,480 Come on, Pats. I'll go and get that map thing I always use. 262 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:30,320 You know, that A to street map thing. Come on! 263 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:32,360 PATSY: On account. 264 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,960 I mean, it's public and it's transport. 265 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:39,160 Of course it is. We don't have to travel on rat-infested sewer trains 266 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:40,480 to be using public transport. 267 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:41,760 Mmm. That would be ridiculous. 268 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,320 Now, do you think I can get a helipad in here? 269 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,880 -Wide enough? -You'd have to move the pots. 270 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,440 Bubble, I'm coming into the office. Move the pots from outside. 271 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:53,760 Right! 272 00:12:56,080 --> 00:13:00,160 Right, I'm here. I'm here. Don't panic. Don't panic. 273 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,120 -Is everything under control? -Yeah, everything's perfectly under control. 274 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,160 Good. I'm sorry I was so long, sweetie. 275 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,560 I had to do a spot of clothes shopping on the way. 276 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:11,840 Now, is there anything I should look at? 277 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,960 Yeah. A few of them whatchacallems come through. 278 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,360 -What? -Paper that comes out. 279 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:24,960 -What? What paper? -Very important, urgent paper. 280 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,120 -What? Tell me. Tell me. -The paper 281 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,160 that comes out the answering machine! 282 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,800 -Oh, fax? -Messages, letters, the lot. 283 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,600 It comes and it comes! 284 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:42,000 Anyway, them. I managed to get a couple of them down. 285 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,560 -I copied them onto my pad. -Let's have a look. 286 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,680 Oh, we're being saved by English Heritage. 287 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,160 -Which one's that mean? -"Away"? 288 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,600 It's here. "Saved". 289 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,960 No, "sued". 290 00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,080 Well, it's only four letters out. I suppose that's all right. 291 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:00,320 Sued? Why are we being sued, darling? 292 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,440 -Well, that last fashion shoot you organised? -Mmm-hmm. 293 00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:04,400 Apparently someone moved a couple of rocks or something. 294 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,920 -(CLICKS TONGUE) Ugh! -Moved a couple of old rocks? My God. 295 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,520 Ah, well. Stonehenge, Pats. Anyway... 296 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,360 So? They should be glad of the publicity. 297 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,880 Exactly! Exactly! Send that one to my lawyers. 298 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:17,480 Now, "Penny called from L.A." Penny who? 299 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,560 It'll come to me. 300 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,240 -It's only urgent-ish. -Mmm. 301 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,000 -She's coming over in a week or two. -Mmm. 302 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,160 Wanted to talk to you about a shop or something. 303 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,840 -Yeah. -Wanted to sell you some things or something. 304 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,960 My shop. Remember I'm opening a shop, Bubble? 305 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,240 -Ah! -Mmm. 306 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:34,400 I'm opening a shop, Pats. 307 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,920 -Oh, what are you gonna sell? -Oh, just gorgeous things, you know. 308 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,160 Oh! Lovely. 309 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:42,480 -Gorgeous, tasteful, little stylish little... -Expensive? 310 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,240 Obviously, yes. There will be sort of presenty, 311 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,280 Anoushka Hempel-y sort of things everywhere. 312 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,400 -Chocolates? -Mmm. Garden implements, that sort of thing. 313 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,880 (SIGHS) God! I can't find anyone I want to look like, you know. 314 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,280 Oh! Oh, actually she's not bad. Who's that? 315 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,720 -That's Ivana Trump. -Oh! 316 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,040 She's good, isn't she? 317 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,040 -God! Do you think so? -Mmm. 318 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,440 Looks like a classic bimbo to me. 319 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:09,720 All that terrible blonde hair piled on top of her head, false tan. 320 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,040 She's... 321 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:15,080 She's far too thin, always pouting, 322 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,520 absolutely no character, skirt's too short. 323 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:22,360 I mean, it's pathetic these older women struggling to look 25! 324 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:27,960 Sorry. 325 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:31,760 I think she's tremendous. 326 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:33,800 You're very thin, aren't you, Bubble? 327 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:35,960 Yes, she's emaciated, like her brain! 328 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,280 I know. It's awful. 329 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,960 I can eat as much as I like and I just don't get fatter. 330 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,120 -I cannot put on weight. -Oh, how terrible! 331 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,240 I know. I wish I was more curvy. 332 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,920 I wish I had breasts like yours. 333 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,000 -No, you don't. -Yes, I do. 334 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,040 -No, you don't! -I do! 335 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,640 Great big, large, pendulous breasts! 336 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,880 I'd like to fill a bra. 337 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,240 (BANGS TABLE) No, you wouldn't! 338 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,560 Oh, just stop saying you do. 339 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:07,920 You don't know what it feels like. 340 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,440 You think just because you feel better 341 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,360 with a couple of oranges stuffed down your cups 342 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,400 you know what it feels like! Well, you don't. 343 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,040 It's hell. 344 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,800 I don't have to wear a bra. 345 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,840 I just stuff the oranges down me vest! 346 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,880 Listen, you little bookmark... 347 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:31,040 You know I only employ you because you make me look better, don't you? 348 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,360 I've remembered what she's called! 349 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,280 Penny Caspar-Morse! 350 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:39,960 (MOANING DELIRIOUSLY) 351 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,440 Penny Caspar's coming and I'm fatter. 352 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,360 Oh, Penny! Penny's coming and I'm fat! 353 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:46,880 Who is Penny Caspar? 354 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,840 Who's that? Pat Ast? 355 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,760 There's a girl who gives the word "hippie" a whole new meaning. 356 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:57,360 (MAN LAUGHING) 357 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,000 Move over, Mama Cass! 358 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,480 Move out the way, sweetie. 359 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,600 -You're blocking my light. -(MAN LAUGHING) 360 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:07,240 Is it an eclipse? No, Edwina's in the room! 361 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,600 We could cancel Woodstock everybody. 362 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,560 They could play on Edwina's behind. 363 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:17,960 (PANTING) 364 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,040 What's she doing? 365 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,800 What pills did you give her, Patsy? 366 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,000 Just some tranquillisers. Don't question me. 367 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,600 I think she's sleep jogging. 368 00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:29,800 You know, she did this for about three weeks before we got married. 369 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,440 She was really anxious about her weight. 370 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,400 She wanted to get married in hot pants. 371 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,960 -Did she? -No. Knickerbockers. 372 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,920 PATSY: (CLICKS TONGUE) Oh, fat old thing. 373 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,800 Look at her. Like a beached whale in designer sheets. 374 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,720 It can't have been easy for her growing up in our generation. 375 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,160 The era of The Shrimp and The Twig. 376 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,160 Penny Caspar was called "The Stick". 377 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,120 What hope did she have? 378 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,560 What did they call her? 379 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,920 Eddie was called "The Shredder" because she used to eat huge amounts of tissues. 380 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,520 Whole toilet rolls. 381 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,240 Oh, God! But, it's pathetic. I mean, she's not even fat! 382 00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:02,920 And I'm Dolly Parton! 383 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,840 All right, well, she is desperately unhappy. We've got to help her. 384 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,960 I'm gonna do something. I'm not gonna let her down. 385 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:09,360 I'm gonna get her damn well thin 386 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,320 so she can face that damn bitch Penny Caspar with some dignity. 387 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:13,680 Damn it. 388 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:15,960 -I mean, she means a lot to all of us. -(BREATHING HEAVILY) 389 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,320 Well, she's been a damn good friend to me. (SNIFFING) 390 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:21,960 We've gotta help her. 391 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,560 She's got no willpower. She's helpless. 392 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,800 We've been through a lot together and I'm going to be there for her. 393 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:33,040 Wake up, Eddy. Eddy, wake up, damn you! 394 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,560 It will be all right. You will damn well be thin! 395 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,240 You will damn well be damn thin. 396 00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:39,400 (PILLS RATTLING) 397 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,800 Oh, God! Eddy, don't sleep. 398 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,640 (MOANING) 399 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,200 -We may have to pump her out again. -(GASPING) 400 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,400 (GROANS) Okay! Let's start with those abdominals. 401 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,240 -We'll see if we can get that stomach flat. Okay? -Tomboyish! 402 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:54,320 Go for it, Eddy. 403 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:55,880 Okay! Let's start with 10. 404 00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:58,160 I do them as well, yeah? Yeah? 405 00:18:58,280 --> 00:18:59,360 Yeah. Come on down. 406 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:01,960 -Okay. Now, I don't want to see a big movement. -(GROANING) 407 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,200 Just enough to get your head 408 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:04,640 -and your shoulders off the mat. -Right. 409 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:05,960 Go for it, sweetie. 410 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,240 Here we go. And one. 411 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,680 And one. Feel those muscles pull in. 412 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,360 Show me that again. 413 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,640 -The, er... -Okay. (MUMBLES) 414 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,360 Now, just, just scrunch up, like that, yeah. (INHALES) 415 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:22,480 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 416 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:26,240 Just, uh, try and get your head and your shoulders off the mat there. 417 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,760 No. 418 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:30,440 Your head? 419 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,320 -I can move my eyes. -Well done, sweetie. 420 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,120 -(STAMMERING) Yeah. That's good! That's good! -Yeah? 421 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,880 -Yeah. It's a muscle. -I feel it here. 422 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,000 (MUSIC PLAYING ON WALKMAN) 423 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,360 (EXHAUSTED PANTING) 424 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,920 Sweetie! (PANTING) 425 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,160 How far did you get? 426 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,760 (MUMBLING) 427 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:33,680 You did a circuit? 428 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:36,240 Round the living room, dear? 429 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,000 No, no, no! 430 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:42,440 Went across Mead Road, round Elgin Place, right round the crescent, 431 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,520 across the traffic lights and then back here. 432 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,920 -The end of the road and back? -Yes, yes, yes, yes. 433 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:51,320 -How long have you got left? -(EXHALES) Four days, darling. 434 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:55,040 Shouldn't eat so much, little piggy. (GRUNTING LIKE A PIG) 435 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,880 I'm not eating anything. 436 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,840 I'm living on air and mung beans. 437 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:04,640 You've got your grandmother's hips. 438 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,440 Oh, well, that's thanks to you! 439 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,480 I mean, thanks for all the chips and lard and potatoes 440 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,040 and white bread and suet pudding covered in treacle 441 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:14,800 I had to eat as a child, darling. 442 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,440 And all the endless cups of sugary tea and... 443 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,040 -Mr Whippy. -Mmm-hmm. 444 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,480 Biscuits and chips and meat 445 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,280 fried in six inches of animal fat. Thanks to that! 446 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,240 Before we had the deep freeze. 447 00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:30,160 Oh, God, even then it was the same food, only colder. 448 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:31,520 I mean, honestly. 449 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,600 And do you know, darling, the real problem started, sweetie, 450 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,720 because I wasn't even breastfed. 451 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:40,880 Oh, don't be ridiculous, dear. It wasn't done in those days. (LAUGHING) 452 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,720 Imagine me having that clamped to my breast! 453 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,600 Mmm, I want better for you, darling. 454 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,440 I want better for you. I don't want you ending up like me 455 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,160 with all my complicated, still rather 456 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,160 marvellous hang-ups, sweetie. Don't want that. 457 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:56,960 At least you were breastfed. 458 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:58,880 Was I? By whom? 459 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,800 You told me your milk dried up, your tubes blocked, and your nipples dropped off. 460 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,440 What? (MUMBLES) 461 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,360 Well, they did, they did. 462 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,280 So, who was I breastfed by? 463 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,560 Not one of the many saggy-tittied hippies 464 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,240 who lived with us at the time, I hope. 465 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,880 Darling, it was a commune. That was the point. 466 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,200 Anyway, sweetie. I mean, they gave you a good start in life, didn't they? 467 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,360 I mean, you're all right, aren't you? 468 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,880 Sweetie, you're all right, aren't you? 469 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,560 -How many? Which ones? -Oh! Oh, it doesn't matter. 470 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,000 They've all died of overdoses since. I mean, it doesn't matter. 471 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,640 Anyway, anyway, sweetie, 472 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:37,360 can I just say that at least you're not fat like me. Hmm? 473 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,080 I mean, what you two don't seem to realise is inside of me, 474 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:44,240 inside of me there's a thin person just screaming to get out. 475 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,520 Just the one, dear? 476 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,160 Pull, pull! (GROANING) 477 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,640 -Okay, that's it. That's as far as they'll go. -Yeah. 478 00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,760 -Push me up. Push. Push. -Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 479 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,200 -Leggings? -No, slacks. 480 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,240 -Oh, dear. -I'm enormous still. 481 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,640 What am I gonna do? 482 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,440 -How comfortable are you? -Well, on a scale of what? 483 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,280 -Well, childbirth? -Oh! 484 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:19,600 Well, you're looking at a 12-pound baby, no anaesthetic and forceps. 485 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,440 I could live with it. I could live with it. What do they look like? 486 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,840 Well, a zeppelin in a condom, darling. 487 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,440 We'll have to think of something else. 488 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,000 You could get your jaw wired up. 489 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:30,160 Oh, no, I've done that. 490 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:31,520 Honestly, it lasted two hours. 491 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,320 My will to speak was too strong. 492 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,400 We're still all right. We've still got time to get down to the clinic 493 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,040 -and have lipo as a last resort. -(MUTTERS) 494 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,880 Let's just be sensible about this. 495 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,760 -Now, if Penny gets here on Tuesday. -Tomorrow. 496 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,080 I mean, I could have lost a few more pounds 497 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,720 -before Tuesday, couldn't I? -Tomorrow. 498 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,880 -What? -Tomorrow evening. 499 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,280 -Why are you saying that? -Because it's true. 500 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:57,960 -She rang. -(GASPING) 501 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:00,800 I'm phoning the clinic. 502 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:04,920 Emergency liposuction, please. 503 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,320 I'll book you in for collagen lips at the same time. 504 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,120 I want you to find out how painful it is. 505 00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,320 DOCTOR: How small do you want to be? 506 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,680 This small. 507 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:19,360 (GASPS) 508 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,680 Oh, no! Oh, no! Not the kidneys! 509 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,400 It's, it's out of control! I can't stop it! 510 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,280 Oh, God, now the legs are going! Ahh! 511 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,760 Oh, no! Come on, come back! 512 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,880 Hold on! 513 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,360 Lips, madam? 514 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:45,960 (GASPING) 515 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,960 No more. No more. 516 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:01,920 No! No more! No more! No more! 517 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,080 (SCREAMING) 518 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,280 Oh, my body! 519 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,240 I love you, my body. Oh, God! 520 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,240 Oh, God! 521 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,560 (SIGHS) 522 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:19,920 Pats... 523 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,480 (STAMMERING) Oh, is she there? Who are you? 524 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,120 Well, what does she look like? 525 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:26,920 Well, turn her over and ask her name. 526 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,120 Oh, Pats, it is you. Listen, Pats. 527 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:33,960 Darling, I can't go through with it. I can't. 528 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,960 No. Oh, all right. 529 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,320 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 530 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,040 ♪ Looking good, feeling great 531 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,160 ♪ Looking good, feeling great ♪ 532 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:46,760 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 533 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,600 It looks all right, doesn't it, sweetie? Covers a bit? 534 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,920 Thin ankles, thin ankles! Look at those, darling. 535 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,120 Oh, don't sit over there. 536 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:58,480 Go on. Stand up. Come on, mill around here a bit more when she comes. 537 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,800 Then form a wall here, so she can't see where I end and you begin. 538 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,000 Go on. Here. 539 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,840 -You look great. -Dad, shut up. 540 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,320 -Well, she looks fine. -No, just keep milling, milling, milling, 541 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,520 so she doesn't get a clear view. 542 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,800 Okay. Okay. Okay. She's here. 543 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,880 Eddy, great news. 544 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:14,200 (GASPING) 545 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,240 -She's fat! -No, no, no. Better than that. 546 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,280 -She's dead! -No. 547 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,160 -She's blind! -(SCREAMING) Yes! Yes! 548 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:25,920 She's blind! Yes! 549 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,200 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 550 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:35,800 Come on, just one more step. 551 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,600 That's it! Now last few steps. 552 00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,720 A wrestler operation, is it, Pen-Pen? 'Course it is. 553 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,800 But darling, sit down. Have another drink-y. 554 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:55,480 Let bygones be bygones. 555 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,880 I'll get into that little room and have a nice little chat. 556 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,600 You took from me the only man I ever really loved! 557 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,480 You're just a spiteful bitch, Penny Caspar! 558 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,000 Morse! Penny Caspar-Morse now! 559 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:10,920 Now you come back here. Trying to sell your little bits of tat for my shop. 560 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:12,520 My shop! 561 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,840 Well, what a comedown! Cause I'm the successful one now, aren't I? 562 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:21,960 I'm rich and I'm happy and I've got wonderful family and friends! 563 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,480 I want you to know that I'm no longer coping with this. 564 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:29,120 Ah, well, I don't have to get a plastic surgeon to keep my body together, do I? 565 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,480 No, no, no. Because I want to tell you, 566 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,840 I've got my fantastic bone structure. 567 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,760 I am thin and gorgeous! 568 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,080 Thin? Ha!