1 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:29,760 Oh, God! 2 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,080 Hello, hello. 3 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,800 Patsy, darling. Come on, come and sit down. 4 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:35,840 Don't wander off! 5 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:37,920 I could be called on to that podium at any moment. 6 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,600 Relax, darling. Have a little of this Stoli promotion, yeah. 7 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,160 (EDINA MUMBLING) 8 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,200 It's the PR PRs. 9 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,280 It won't be the first award, but it's the big one. 10 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,720 I should sit down nearer the aisle. Swap, swap, swap. 11 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,280 Swap, swap. 12 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,880 (SIGHING) Oh, God! So, who else is here? 13 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,920 I sent Bubble out with her ear to the ground and a pad. 14 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,920 But I want a celebrity count. Celebrity count. 15 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,640 Well, there's no-one to worry about, um... 16 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,000 -Elizabeth Hurley. -Obviously. 17 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:01,880 Yeah. And I got a whiff of Tania Bryer, 18 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,960 but she was on a table practically out in the foyer. 19 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,400 And there is a possibility of Isabella Rossellini. 20 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:07,840 No! Damn. 21 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:11,400 Damn! That'll be Dolce and Gabbana, they're using her now. 22 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:12,480 I don't know why. 23 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,240 -No, she's far too old. -Far too old. 24 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,040 This is the happening table, then, this one. 25 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:17,960 Yeah, this one, darling. Naomi is it! 26 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,520 Right. Good. Hello. I guess it wasn't easy, you know. 27 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,040 Oh, darling, this is the flash-camera situation. 28 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:24,200 Yes. 29 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,400 -Hello, hello, hello. -Thank you. 30 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,560 Patsy Stone, 39, international beauty and style guru. 31 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,280 -Just do Edina Monsoon. -That's enough. 32 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:36,680 Where's Lulu? Where is Lulu? She's supposed to be here. 33 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,080 I wanted Naomi and Lulu. 34 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,600 I wanted a potpourri of A-list visibles, you know. 35 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:45,280 Claudia Bing, of Bing, Bing, Bing and Bing PR. 36 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,640 -Do you want a drink? -I'm fine, thanks. 37 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,720 She's very difficult. Very difficult. 38 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:52,560 There's Claudia Bing. Hello, Claudia! 39 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:53,680 Hello. 40 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:55,800 -Who's she got at her table? -Nobodies. 41 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,160 I know. But a lot of nobodies, isn't it? 42 00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,680 Many nobodies over there. 43 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,920 What Channel Tunnel needs is a derailment or a small bomb 44 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,800 or a suicide. I can't get any more coverage. 45 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,560 Train going through hole is dull, dull, dull. 46 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,400 I need you to mingle with your pad. Pick up the buzz. 47 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:13,000 I need to know who's got who, 48 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,560 what, when and in what capacity. 49 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,120 Next week's very busy for me. 50 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,120 I'm launching Erica Jong's new book, 51 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,080 Sex With Myself: Sticky Fingers. 52 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:26,320 Bill's thrilled, he loves huge openings. 53 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:29,240 He's a very good friend of mine. I've met him. 54 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:31,880 I've got to go through this - my acceptance speech. 55 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:33,960 -Did you write it, Eddy? -No, Will Self did it. 56 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,240 He's very good. He's the latest thing. 57 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,880 You go and talk to Naomi, she's looking bored, go talk to her! 58 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:41,960 Hello. You all right? 59 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,400 Bubble? Where's Bubble? Bubble! Bubble! 60 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,200 Right, what have you got? What's the buzz? 61 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:48,960 Two bottles of champagne on table six. 62 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:53,200 A cigar for the man on table four. 63 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:57,360 And sticky toffee pudding for tables seven and eight. 64 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,840 I need names, places, concepts, happening, network! 65 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,840 Get the buzz! The buzz! 66 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:04,680 Ah, Naomi, Patsy Stone, hi. 67 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,400 I just wanna say I think you're fabulous 68 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:07,800 and worth every penny you get. 69 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,960 Babe, you are one in a million and, darling, I should know, 70 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,400 you know, I should know. 71 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,480 I wish you could see the tragic cases 72 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,320 that parade every day through my magazine, 73 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:17,960 in search of a spread. 74 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,120 Naomi, love. Daily Mail, 75 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,040 Is that one of Vivienne's you're wearing? 76 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,320 No, it's my own. 77 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,760 Anyway, I just have to tell these tragic little wannabes, 78 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,280 do you know what I tell them? 79 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,680 I say, "Darling, stick your fingers down your throat, 80 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,480 "hack off your tits, keep taking the tablets 81 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,120 "and don't come back until you're looking like something." 82 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,640 -You know? -Yeah, I remember you. 83 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,680 And sticky toffee pudding on table six. 84 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:42,640 Go out again. I need more. I see Alexander over there. 85 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,200 The press were very mean to him after his last collection, 86 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:46,920 but it didn't do him any harm. 87 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,560 He just sells the same clothes, 88 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,400 but with the word "Crap" actually printed on it. 89 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,120 "Crap" jacket, "Crap" shirt. 90 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,560 He can't keep up with the demand for crap. 91 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,520 -There's Naomi! -Yes, don't rub it in. 92 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:58,560 Now, where was I? 93 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,640 The other interesting thing I was about to say is 94 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:04,880 I'm just launching a campaign on "Tested for animals". 95 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,520 It's cosmetics using human blubber! 96 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,200 The whales use us as a moisturiser. 97 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,360 Yes. Whales use us as a moisturiser. 98 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:15,880 We should get Naomi to front it. 99 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,520 Yes, I've already thought of that! 100 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:18,880 I've just got to check. 101 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,480 PATSY: Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. 102 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,480 CLAUDIA: Hello! EDINA: Hello! 103 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:24,280 Did you enjoy the premier last Tuesday? 104 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,600 Yes, it was fabulous. 105 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,320 What did you think of the film? 106 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,520 -I just went to the party. -Yes, me, too. 107 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,680 -Yeah, so I did that party. -It was quite good. 108 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,960 Though personally, I've never thought Japanese finger food 109 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,920 sat well in the Atlantic. 110 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,040 Bubble! Walk the steps to the podium, will you? 111 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,960 See how many steps to the podium, for me. 112 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,040 Squeak, walk the steps. Copy steps. 113 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,160 No, you can't sit there! That's Lulu. You can't sit there. 114 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,000 -She's not here. -She's very small! 115 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:59,640 Hi! I think we met at Helena's eyelash launch. Claudia Bing. 116 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:00,680 Did we? 117 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,040 I'm organising a liposuction-o-thon, 118 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:04,920 in aid of whales, next week. 119 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,920 Got a lot of actresses interested. 120 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,800 Jane Seymour's sucking out her own. 121 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,160 I don't need lipo. 122 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,520 No, we don't want fat people. That will be a real turn-off. 123 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,840 Also, have you heard of Ozone, the Eco Scent? 124 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,560 Look at her. What does she want? Look at her. 125 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:20,920 Look at that hair! What is that? 126 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,680 Some gel scraped through the split ends. 127 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,880 I know! That's not a hairstyle. 128 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,840 No. It's a cover-up. 129 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,160 I promise we won't take up any more of your time 130 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,440 than we possibly can. 131 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:31,480 It'll be fun! 132 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,120 She's being very difficult. 133 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:39,520 You do the cigar, and I'll deal with the toffee pudding. 134 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,200 Are you okay? You're not drinking that water, are you? 135 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,880 That's not my water. This is my water. 136 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,960 Drink this one. Me and this water. This water! 137 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,480 Naomi and me and this water. 138 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,240 Where are you going? Where are you going? 139 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,120 I need a waz. 140 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,160 Me and this water! Me and Naomi. 141 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,720 Who's asking about lateral thinking? 142 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,480 We'll come to that next week... if you decide to come again. 143 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,360 Oh, yes, I will! I found it fascinating. 144 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,240 I always thought psychology was, 145 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,000 well, not very interesting. 146 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:07,040 But you make it. 147 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:09,760 Anyway... 148 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,240 I hope I didn't drag you out of your way to bring me home. 149 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:15,160 Completely. 150 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,680 No, but It was just great to find somebody interested. 151 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,800 Most of the students are thinking wheelbarrows. 152 00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:23,080 If you remember the de Bono analogy I used today. 153 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,160 Oh, yes. 154 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,920 Whereas you have the potential to be a thinking limousine! 155 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:27,960 (GIGGLING) 156 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,080 I don't know about that! 157 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,080 -A real Rolls-Royce brain. -(GIGGLING) 158 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:36,520 (GLASS CLINKING) 159 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,280 You don't live here on your own, I hope? 160 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,720 Uh, no, my mother is out for the evening, luckily. 161 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,400 Well... I'd better be going. 162 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,520 Oh, would you like a tea or coffee or something? 163 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,840 Well... What've you got? 164 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,040 Oh! 165 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,120 Everything! 166 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:56,960 Pats! Come on, come on. 167 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,680 Why did you take so long? Where have you been? 168 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,640 I just ran into little Jason Donovan. 169 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,400 Oh, my God! 170 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:04,160 -Is he still standing? -Gorgeous! 171 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,520 (KISSING) 172 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,440 ANNOUNCER: And now, the award for multimedia 173 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,080 networking technique for celebrity... 174 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:11,600 No, this is not... This isn't mine. 175 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,960 ..to be presented by Lulu. 176 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,120 Lulu! Lulu! She's with me! She's with me. 177 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,440 Lulu, it's me. It's Lulu. 178 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,360 Lulu. She must have just got back from Germany. 179 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,640 She's been on tour. 180 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:21,760 LULU: Thank you, thank you. 181 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,800 I'm literally just off the plane from Australia. 182 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,200 Australia. 183 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,200 LULU: Oh, my new single is out next week. 184 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,840 Hold out. God, why doesn't she ever tell me these things? 185 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,520 LULU: The winner is Mike Stewart, for Transpose. 186 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,080 (MUSIC PLAYING) 187 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,800 Lulu! 188 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,240 I've got a microphone, sing Shout, sing Shout! 189 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,480 Oh, damn! She's gone. Watch, it's mine next, darling. 190 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:47,920 (WHISPERING) Naomi. 191 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,880 Naomi, can I sit here? It's closer for me. 192 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,080 No, I'm presenting it. 193 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,760 Oh, you're presenting it. 194 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,200 This month's PRs PR Award 195 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,320 is going to be presented by Naomi Campbell. 196 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:57,760 That's you! 197 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,080 Oh, relax, Eddy. It's a good buzz. 198 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:05,120 -Is it a big buzz? 199 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,680 -It's a huge buzz! - Huge buzz! 200 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,160 Move the table closer. Pick and lift! Pick and lift! 201 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,080 Move the table, just a bit closer. 202 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,120 And the winner is... 203 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,160 ..if I can open this envelope... 204 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,560 -of the PR PRs Award... -Yes. 205 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:23,760 Claudia Bing! 206 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,800 (CLAUDIA SHRIEKING) (MUSIC PLAYING) 207 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,360 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 208 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,960 I accept this totally. 209 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:40,400 I have a great team who'll all be thrilled. Thank you. 210 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:44,560 I know this award is chiefly due to the success of 211 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,040 my "Stop dumping" campaign. 212 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,640 "Stop dumping and make the world a better place." 213 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:53,560 Tonight, the world couldn't smell sweeter. I'm thrilled! 214 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,360 -Pats. Pats. -It was the wrong buzz. 215 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:17,160 We're going! We're going! We're not staying here. 216 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,960 -Come on, darling. -Come on, sweetheart. 217 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,840 CLAUDIA: Bye! 218 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,320 PATSY: This frightens me! It frightens me! 219 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,880 I mean, how did that bitch win? 220 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,640 Come on, Eddy, you know these things. 221 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:31,200 She probably bribed the judges. 222 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,680 I chose those judges! 223 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,960 Come on. I'm going home! 224 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,640 Stop dumping! I thought of that. 225 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:43,600 It's getting late. Don't get me on to logic bubbles. 226 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,960 I'll be here all night. 227 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,560 Would you like another tea? 228 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,280 Would you like to try the raspberry? 229 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,400 What was that I had before this one? 230 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,440 Oh, the Banja thing. One of Mum's. 231 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,720 -And before that? -The fennel. 232 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,560 Okay. I'll try the raspberry. 233 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:02,680 -I'm not keeping you up, am I? -No. 234 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,240 I was just thinking, 235 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,600 it's so true what you were saying about critical thinking. 236 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:10,440 The western disease. 237 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,280 -You have an eyelash. -Have I? Where? 238 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,680 -On your cheek. -Oh. 239 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,680 I can't see it. 240 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,000 -Which cheek? -Shall I? 241 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,400 Yes, please. Thank you. 242 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,800 -Here. -Thank you. 243 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:37,400 -Being cuticle... -Cuticle? 244 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,560 Sorry. I mean, critical destruction. 245 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:45,200 Yes, if one hypothesis doesn't necessarily make a better one. 246 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,520 How's the raspberry? 247 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:50,720 Lovely. 248 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,040 Are you all right? 249 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,280 I don't think I can manage the passion fruit. 250 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,160 Oh? 251 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,560 -Look, um, I... -Oh. 252 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,400 -I should be going. -Oh! 253 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:10,760 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 254 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,280 PATSY: Fine, it's hardly gonna be a popular win. 255 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:16,120 What is the point of winning if it's not popular? 256 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,120 -Nobody likes her. -Everybody I know hates her! 257 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,080 -I hate her. -I hate her. Hate her! 258 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,920 I'm not letting that prejudice my argument. 259 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,600 I mean, it's just that she's not a woman's woman, you know. 260 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,080 She's not a man's woman, she's not a woman. 261 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,000 -Whereas we, you see... -We are anybody's. 262 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,480 EDINA: Some think it's important! 263 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,080 PATSY: It's not important! 264 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,160 They are imporant! They are important... 265 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,680 They are not important. 266 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,320 Of course they're not, darling. 267 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,560 I mean, God! They're not really a reflection 268 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:44,840 of what is actually happening! 269 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:46,280 Of course they're not, darling. 270 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,680 I think maybe I should go. 271 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,280 This is somebody's bloody subjective view, isn't it? 272 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,240 -Just because they're... -I know where the door is. 273 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:58,400 ..jealous, because I'm unconventional and successful. 274 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,920 Of course they are, babe. 275 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:04,600 Oh, God! I mean, I piss better ideas than Claudia Bing. 276 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,880 Babe, you do! 277 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,440 You're back very early, Mum. 278 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:12,560 Yeah, well, don't ask me how it went, darling. 279 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,400 It was a monumental bloody buggery cock-up 280 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,080 of global proportions, darling! 281 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,120 -I take it you didn't win. -Of course I didn't win. 282 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,960 Babe, that award had your name on it. 283 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,720 Of course it had my name on it. I bought it, I sponsored it. 284 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:28,360 It is the Edina Monsoon PRs' PR Award. I am it. 285 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,960 Then why did you bother to open it up to competition? 286 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,640 Because I was a fool. 287 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,840 No, babe! It's because the bitch must have cheated. 288 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,120 The bitch cheated! 289 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,080 -She cheated. -What did she do? Some work? 290 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,720 Oh! 291 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,400 Shall I hit her for you, Eddy? 292 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,400 No, muzzle yourself, muzzle yourself. 293 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,960 I'm sorry, Mum, but I've never seen what it is you do. 294 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,520 (LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY) 295 00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:49,760 (ENUNCIATING) PR! 296 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,920 -Yes, but... -PR! 297 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:55,760 My PR things! People. 298 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,840 Places. Concepts. 299 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,760 -Lulu! -Lulu! 300 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:05,640 I PR them! I am, and if you've heard of me, I have PR. 301 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:09,480 I make the fabulous. I make the crap into credible. 302 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,280 I make the dull into... 303 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,360 -Delicious. -Delicious. 304 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,880 I PR, darling, and yet they would bloody honour 305 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:20,280 some pea-brained, hypocritical do-gooder like her. 306 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,400 Well, you all sound the same, anyway. 307 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:23,840 And awards don't matter. 308 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,840 Thank you, darling. No, they don't, do they, darling? 309 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,920 Award, Pats? Awards don't matter. 310 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,680 We've been here before. 311 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:36,600 It's just, you know, I just want one! 312 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:39,200 I just want one, darling. I need one. 313 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,400 My career is on a sort of 314 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,840 toboggan run of failure at the moment, you know. 315 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,320 I need one. They're the only thing that seems to mean 316 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:46,680 anything these days, you know. 317 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:47,920 I need it now, too, 318 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,880 before the menopause drags me into her gaping jaws. 319 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:56,840 Before my creative hormonal oil-well dribbles to a halt. 320 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,280 Before my bottom becomes a patchwork quilt 321 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:00,880 of monkey glands, darling. 322 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,480 Mum, menopause can be a very exhilarating 323 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,160 and positive time for a woman. 324 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,360 Oh, yeah, darling, 325 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,840 and the curse is a blessing and childbirth is painless! No! 326 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,240 Unless that gaping hole on my mantelpiece 327 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,640 is filled pretty soon, darling, 328 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,240 I might as... 329 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,000 Yeah, I might as well just lick this light switch 330 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,600 and do us all a favour, darling. 331 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,120 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 332 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,680 Aha! Aha! Who was that man? 333 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:31,720 What? 334 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,560 Who, who, who? This man here! The man here. 335 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,480 I came down the stairs, there was a man here. Who was he? 336 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,560 He's just my psychology lecturer. 337 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,360 -Your psychology lecturer? -He just dropped me home. 338 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,960 Your psychology lecturer? 339 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,120 Uh-huh, huh? 340 00:14:56,160 --> 00:15:00,440 Look at you. I thought you were acting a little weird. 341 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,960 Mum, I am not acting weird. 342 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,720 Obviously, darling, not acting. 343 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:05,920 My God! If you'd shown any talent in that direction, 344 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,880 I would have strapped a pony tail on your head, 345 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,600 and sent you to the Sylvia Young stage school, darling. 346 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,160 With any luck, I'd've got Roman Polanski interested in you. 347 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,600 She was never young enough for him. 348 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,360 And then we'd never have heard the word uni-bloody-versity, 349 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,000 would we? Hmm? 350 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:24,720 I'm off to sleep on what's left of my career. 351 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:26,240 What's new? 352 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,040 What is new, darling, 353 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:31,280 is that if I don't come up with an idea pretty soon, 354 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,280 you can say goodbye to uni-bloody-versity, 355 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:36,840 to this sink, to this bloody house, to you, old smugs. 356 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,040 Some of us have to work for a living, you know, 357 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,400 we can't all be liggers. 358 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,080 Not you, not you. 359 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,360 -Morning, Saff. -Morning. 360 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,960 Ready for breakfast. Here we go. 361 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,920 Have a big day ahead. Now, what do I need? Brainfood. 362 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,880 Here. Vegetable juice and prune juice, 363 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,640 that should get something moving, darling. 364 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,920 Something big is going to happen today. 365 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,440 It's going to be a fabulous day! 366 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,680 Are you here today? 367 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:20,440 No, I've got to nip into the shop 368 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,280 and then on to the office for a brainstorm. 369 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,040 I didn't know you still had the shop. 370 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,600 Oh, yeah, I still got it, darling. 371 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,080 But it's not doing very well. The supply has dropped off. 372 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,600 India's had it, been there. Africa's dried up completely. 373 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:34,320 It's ridiculous. Thank God for Grozny! Honestly. 374 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:37,200 Well, if it wasn't for that lovely Russian army advancing, 375 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,760 flushing out those gorgeous heirlooms in my direction, 376 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,240 I don't know what I'd do. 377 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,080 You should see in the shop at the moment, 378 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,720 I've got this fabulous little samovar 379 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,280 with a little old woman still attached to it! 380 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,800 Gripping on for dear life. 381 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,320 Planning to lure her off with dried breadcrumbs, 382 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,240 just so I can get a decent price. 383 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,040 -Mum. -Oh. (SHUSHING) 384 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:01,160 Oh, God! 385 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,640 Yeah, but it tastes foul, so it must be doing me some good. 386 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,080 Oh, actually, no! Yeah, it's working. 387 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,600 Yeah, I can feel myself thinking better, yeah. 388 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,120 Think, think, think, yeah. 389 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,600 Strap on the crampons and steer to the summit of my career. 390 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,480 Surf the Net with the rest of them, I'm off. 391 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,080 -Mum? -What? 392 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,520 Change. 393 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:21,560 What? Oh! (SCREAMING) 394 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:22,880 What's that? 395 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,000 Oh, my God! It's my Westwood bum-bag. 396 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,080 I thought it was attached to the dress. It's on me. 397 00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:28,520 Get it off! Get it off! 398 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:29,560 Take it off! 399 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,840 Much longer, Tony? 400 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,800 I think I'm ready to try something. 401 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,920 Before lunch? Is that a good idea? 402 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,400 Let's not rush it, Tony. We have got two days. 403 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,120 I'm trying to spend some money here. 404 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,720 Why don't we shoot on motion-control cameras? 405 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,160 -Is that expensive? -Very. 406 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,200 Good, do it. 407 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:49,720 What is it you want me to do? 408 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,040 Did your car pick you up on time? 409 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,080 Yes. 410 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:54,000 -You got flowers last night? -Yes. 411 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,280 -And were they lovely? -Yes. 412 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,840 And have you been offered everything? 413 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,000 Yes. 414 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,400 Now, you know the product, Ozone, the Eco Scent. 415 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,160 Don't smell that. It's just the dummy. 416 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,440 Now, in this promo, technically, you're an insert. 417 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:09,640 And you say something like, "I plugged my hole with Ozone. 418 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,800 "I want to plug your smell-hole." 419 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,200 Pierce and Colin have gone off into a corner to do a rewrite. 420 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,000 Have you met Pierce and Colin? 421 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:19,280 They are the team responsible for "Milk!" and "Beef!" 422 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,360 -How long is this gonna take? -Sit tight. Have a coffee. 423 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,760 Tony wants an emotional-controlled camera. 424 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,160 -Two! -Two! 425 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,280 Did you get tapped into that global database today? 426 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:29,560 -I did. -And? 427 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,680 I've got a meeting with a computer database tonight. 428 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,200 What? 429 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,960 He will be wearing a red rose in his buttonhole. 430 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,120 And if compatibility strikes, who knows? 431 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,800 Wedding bells are not out of the question. 432 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:43,000 Oh, shush. 433 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,720 And there's a questionnaire. 434 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,240 I put you down as casual, sporty, with no pets. 435 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,760 Hello! Can I assist? 436 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,800 Hello, darling, I just popped by to say, you know, 437 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,160 congratulations. 438 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,840 Is Naomi here? 439 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,360 Yeah, she's over there, but she's behaving very badly. 440 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,440 -What's that? -Lacroix's watch. 441 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:02,760 Didn't he send you one? 442 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:08,120 -Tony's got a problem! -Oh! 443 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,480 Hi, Naomi. Hi. It's Eddy. Eddy. Edina Monsoon. 444 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,520 Now, I'm starting a global integrated tele-satellite 445 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,960 projection system, okay? The whole world is our screen. 446 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,000 Imagine, your face on the Gobi desert. 447 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,480 Your face over the whole of the Antarctic. I just need you. 448 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,120 Naomi, have you seen a menu? 449 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,120 Yes. 450 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,320 All right, just the idea of you is enough, all right? 451 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,600 Thank you. Say yes. Yes. That's lovely. 452 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,800 Will we see you tomorrow? 453 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,320 Um, yeah, I'm launching something pretty huge. 454 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,920 I just can't bear the idea that 455 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:47,440 one day some inexperienced, clumsy, spotty youth 456 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,800 will get his hands on something so precious. 457 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:51,840 (EXHALES) 458 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:58,360 I would love to gently open that flower. 459 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,880 Oh, hello, Gerard! How's your wife? 460 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,400 And how's the new house, dear? 461 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,120 We miss you up our end, you know. 462 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,520 But I did see your sister the other day. 463 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,080 On that saga tour of Sizewell B. 464 00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:20,720 It was very good, dear. 465 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,800 They allowed us to push the buttons. 466 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,880 Is he getting fresh with you? 467 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,280 -W... -Oh, dear! 468 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:34,240 If you take my advice, Gerard, you'll play it cool. 469 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:38,240 There's nothing so unattractive as a frisky old person. 470 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,360 Believe me, I know. 471 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,000 I've seen Cocoon. 472 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,840 -Where's Eddy? -Oh, isn't she with you, dear? 473 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,280 I was beginning to think you two were attached at the hip. 474 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,920 Why don't you try Patsy? I'm sure she's more your type. 475 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,320 I've been trying to explain. 476 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:53,640 Would you like a drink, Patsy? 477 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:54,680 What? 478 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,160 Vodka? 479 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,400 -Don't do this to me. -Just get out! 480 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,480 Right, I'm home! Idea had, career saved. 481 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,040 Crack open the Bolli. 482 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,720 Oh, fabulous, Eddy! Well done, well done, Eddy! 483 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,680 It's a fabulous idea, darling. 484 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,880 And we'll present it at the industry do tomorrow lunch. 485 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,200 -Will you come? -Yeah. Free lunch, I'll come. 486 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,240 Mum? 487 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,840 Shush. I'm just going to absorb my lovely launch speech, 488 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,920 -my lovely launch speech. -Oh, cheers, Eddy! 489 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,160 Mum, I need to speak to you, it's Gerard. 490 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,520 I'm meditating. 491 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,840 -Mum, he's bothering me. -Is he mad? 492 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:31,560 -No, he's married! -With four boys, dear. 493 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,880 I think I left my briefcase. 494 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,000 Go on! 495 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,160 Just stop bothering my daughter, all right? 496 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:53,120 -Oh, cheers, Eddy! -Yeah, well... 497 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:54,160 Thanks, Mum! 498 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,800 Yeah, yeah, well, it's too many people here already. 499 00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:59,440 Don't you look so confident. 500 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,280 You're next, you know. Yes, you! 501 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,520 And with my friends CLAUDIA: at BMBBB and Needham 502 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,800 and their friends at BMDDDD and Needham. 503 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,880 We feel we have worked out the importance of brand identity, 504 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,920 more keenly than many of our rivals. 505 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,000 Testing, testing. 506 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,240 ..product which was once perceived 507 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,680 as no more than blobs of sweet additive-filled gelatine 508 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,080 but with new packaging, 509 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:27,760 is now produced as a trendy confectionery, 510 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:28,920 the profits of which 511 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:32,840 for the next three months will go to the Africa Baby Fund. 512 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,240 "Is it a gimmick?" I hear my colleagues cry. 513 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:38,680 No, it would only be a gimmick if it was for two months. 514 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,080 EDINA: Oh, yeah. 515 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:42,320 In conclusion, I would like to say, 516 00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:44,240 why change the world 517 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,240 when all you need is change people's perception of it? 518 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,520 Where's the speech? Where is my speech? 519 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,840 Where's the speech gone? Where is that waiter? 520 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,120 Where is the waiter that had my speech? 521 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,280 Where is the waiter that had my speech? 522 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,000 It was here a minute ago. Where is the waiter with my speech? 523 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,800 It was here! It was here! (PANTING) Hi, hello. 524 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,480 Where is it? It was just here. 525 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,240 It was just here. My speech was just... 526 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,440 (IN SINGSONG) Why are we waiting? 527 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,680 Come on, let's just go! Let's go. You don't... 528 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,920 No, I can't just go, darling. 529 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,880 Yeah, I was going to make a... Testing, testing. 530 00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,160 Yeah, I was gonna make a speech. 531 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,400 I just can't be bothered any more! 532 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:23,280 You know, this used to be like fun, you know. 533 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:24,800 You know, it used to be fun, 534 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,480 but I've been bored of all the fun bits now, you know. 535 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,160 Yeah, and just bloody lunches and launches, you know, 536 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,960 and some no-career celebrities and party desperates. 537 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,400 And what for? Huh? 538 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,800 It's all column inches in some crap tabs and mags. 539 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:37,920 Well, I'm sorry. 540 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,320 There has to be a little bit more than that, doesn't there? 541 00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:43,560 Hmm? Yeah, I mean, I had a speech, you know, about... 542 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,920 About projected integrated global tele-network system, 543 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,880 bloody system system. 544 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:51,640 But if that's what the world's coming to, 545 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,120 I don't want to be in it. No, I don't want that. 546 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,440 I don't want to be in some sort of cyber-space, 547 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,440 hyper-virtual bloody reality. 548 00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,560 I don't want that. 549 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,280 Exchanging e-mail with some old-aged bloody hippies 550 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:05,200 with more information at their fingertips than is safe. 551 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:06,400 I don't want that! 552 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,200 What kind of reality is that? 553 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,720 With a 13-amp plug on the end of it, huh? 554 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,400 Huh? 555 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:14,960 That can be unplugged like that. Come on, let's... 556 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,200 No, I'm not going yet. 557 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:17,680 No. You! Yeah, you sit there, 558 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,280 you sit there where you're velcroed to some bloody ad-man, 559 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,440 those crap head ad-man over there, those... 560 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,600 You know, those kings of bastardisation 561 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,680 who just taken anything that was ever real and genuine 562 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:28,960 and honest, and original 563 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,480 and attached it to a toilet cleaner! 564 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:38,560 Whereas I, yeah, I, like a bird on the wire... 565 00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:41,960 Like a drunk in a midnight choir. 566 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:47,080 I have tried, yeah, in my way, to be free. 567 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:52,800 # Like a bird on the wire 568 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,600 Go for it, Eddy, go for it. 569 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,760 # Like a drunk in a midnight choir 570 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:02,760 # I've tried in my way 571 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,480 # To be free. # 572 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,960 Yeah, you can, do laugh, but you know something, 573 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,080 I don't want more choice. I just want nicer things! 574 00:25:11,120 --> 00:25:13,440 And you, you, take that look off your face. 575 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,240 You sitting there with your whales and your cancer 576 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:17,680 and AIDS and starvation. 577 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:21,320 You're skimming a neat profit off the whole of human misery. 578 00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:25,960 Labelling us all with this global guilt. Huh? 579 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,120 Yeah, well, you know, It may not all be great and good, 580 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,920 but it ain't that bad, you know. 581 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,640 So, come on, world, cheer up. It may never bloody happen! 582 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,000 Come on, darling, we're going. 583 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,080 -I think you just did, Eddy. -Yeah, come on. 584 00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:37,200 (RAZZING) 585 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,840 Come on, darling. Where is my speech? Where was my speech? 586 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,000 If the waiter took it, it would have been at the table still. 587 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,120 Wait, wait. In the kitchens. Let's go to the kitchens! 588 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,160 It must be here somewhere. 589 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:52,680 Good speech though, Eddy. 590 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,560 But they're bastards, aren't they? They're all bastards! 591 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,160 All right, where are we going, Eddy? 592 00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,160 Well, if it was... It's in the rubbish, darling... 593 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:00,960 If it was cleared away by the waiters, 594 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,280 it'll be here somewhere, won't it? 595 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,040 Eddy! Eddy! Eddy! Eddy! Eddy! 596 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,040 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 597 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:40,040 Hello? 598 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,360 Hello, sweetie. Huh? 599 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:47,320 Really? Yeah. 600 00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:49,800 Well, darling, I knew that would happen, yeah. 601 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,040 That's fabulous. 602 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,280 Yeah, well, tell her I'll be right there, darling. 603 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:55,720 -Hang on. -(HORN BLARES) 604 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,840 Oi! Boatie. 605 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,400 Where are we going? 606 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:17,960 Landfill? 607 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,520 Landfill. Ostend? 608 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:27,680 Darling, it's landfill in Ostend. 609 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,440 Get me a cab for Ostend. 610 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,240 See you later. 611 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:42,800 Hello, darling. 612 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:46,080 Well done, Mum. I heard about your speech. I'm proud of you. 613 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:47,440 (EDINA EXCLAIMS) 614 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:48,920 Thank you, sweetheart. 615 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,480 "Cheer up, it may never happen." 616 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:51,880 I know. It's fabulous, isn't it? 617 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,080 "Cheer up, it may never happen." 618 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:56,080 Got me the Prozac campaign, now. 619 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:58,480 Listen, where is Bubble? 620 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,760 Bubble? Darling? Yeah, we're launching it this week. 621 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:02,840 I want huge billboards. 622 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,120 Depressed? Don't be! 623 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,920 Unhappiness is an unnatural state. 624 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,920 Especially round council estates and hospitals, 625 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,640 darling. Everywhere! 626 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:11,080 Yeah, before the lunch. All right? 627 00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:13,120 Coming into the office. I'll see you in a minute. 628 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:14,720 -Let's go for lunch. -Can we have lunch? 629 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,880 There's a sniff of Joan Collins around Harvey Nichs. 630 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,200 -There's a new shop down there. -Is there? 631 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:20,800 We'll go there first.