1 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,000 (MUTTERING) Child, child, child. 2 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:36,640 Darling, darling, can you help me here? 3 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,720 -What? -Help Mama, sweetheart. 4 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,040 I want to change position. 5 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,040 I've got my foot wedged up my lower chakra. 6 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,400 Oooh! Still, never mind. 7 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,240 Couple of weeks, I'll be bending like Madonna, 8 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:51,160 won't I, darling, hmm? 9 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,440 I'll be able to kiss my own arse from both directions. 10 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:56,800 Ooh, look at this one, sweetheart. 11 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,920 Look at this one, darling, look. Corpse, corpse. 12 00:00:58,960 --> 00:00:59,960 In my dreams. 13 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,680 Om... Omomom... 14 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,760 You're not supposed to inhale your 'oms'. 15 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,160 Darling, I can inhale me 'oms' if I want to inhale me 'oms'. 16 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,520 I can pull them in one end and push them out wherever I want. 17 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:14,120 Darling, did you know that yogis 18 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,800 can breathe through any orifice? 19 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,560 They can be buried for 40 years, darling, 20 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,720 just breathing through a straw sticking out of their pundada. 21 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,200 This kitchen is filthy! 22 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:28,520 What did you do to it last night? 23 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,640 Stop clearing it up, darling! 24 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,000 I'm trying to 'Jamie Oliver' it up a bit, you know. 25 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,840 I had me mates around, 26 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:42,000 burnt pork chops, fresh herbs, fresh herbs. 27 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:43,720 Going down the dogs, come on, darling. 28 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,120 Will you stop that! 29 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,000 Look, I've got a meeting here this morning. 30 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,760 You are going to work today, aren't you? 31 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,640 Yeah, well someone's got to, haven't they? 32 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,520 In fact, darling, will you check on my webcam 33 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,400 and see if Bubble's in the office yet? 34 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,360 Do it yourself. My hand's still bad. 35 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,280 -Your hands! -I don't know what it is, 36 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,080 I think I might have trapped a nerve or something. 37 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,080 This is my new website, darling. 38 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,920 I've diversified, I'm a multi-tasker. 39 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,720 It's the new thing. You know, fashion, PR, design. 40 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,720 I've got a TV production company, 41 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,160 I've got my fingers in lots of pies. 42 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,600 Darling, Eddy Pie Hands! 43 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,760 You haven't produced anything! 44 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,040 No, but I'm a brand, I've been branded. 45 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,400 Like some old heifer at the O.K. Corral. 46 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,160 Anyone can shove an antenna up their bum 47 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,320 and call themselves a channel nowadays! 48 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,600 Oh, look. Look at that. 49 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:41,600 What's she doing? What is she doing? 50 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,040 It's ridiculous. 51 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,320 I paid thousands of pounds to have that thing updated. 52 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:46,800 What am I paying Damon for? 53 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,840 Mum, will you please just go? 54 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:51,120 (GRUNTING) All right, sweetheart. 55 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,840 I've just got to call my life coach, darling. 56 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,400 Got to get my daily aim. Gotta have a daily aim, sweetheart. 57 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:57,920 You should try it. 58 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,640 I've got my two life aims, you know. 59 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,240 Yoga, which is one, you are witness. 60 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,920 What's the second one? 61 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,960 To have Christmas with Sting and Trudie Styler. 62 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:09,400 Hello? Juliette, dear... 63 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,800 Have a great idea and write a pop song. Thank you, darling! 64 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,600 There you are. 65 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,560 Gotta have a great idea today and write a pop song. 66 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,080 Can't be hard, can it? 67 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,440 # # Hey, baby... 68 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:19,440 Not here! 69 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,080 You're not doing it here, I've got a meeting here! 70 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,920 Oh, you've got a meeting. 71 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,000 Not another of your committees, is it, darling? 72 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,000 Your voluntary, unpaid committees? 73 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,320 What have you done since the body zone, nothing! 74 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,720 Slave labour for New Labour, that's what you are. 75 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,960 I am getting a job. That's what the meeting's about! 76 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,080 -Paid? -Yes. 77 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,040 Good. Cos frankly darling, 78 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:42,320 I don't mind subsidising some fat old couch potato 79 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,520 who just wants to sit around reading magazines 80 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:45,880 and watching telly all day. 81 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,280 Frankly, in the business I'm in, 82 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:48,480 we need that kind of person. 83 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,160 But when somebody 84 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,360 deliberately over-educates themselves 85 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,720 out of the possibility of useful employment, 86 00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:59,240 I take issue. 87 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:04,200 You can tell that to your new, improved sparkly Labes. 88 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,800 If I get the job, I'm out of here. 89 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,040 -That's my life aim. -Oh, good. 90 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,160 Oh, good. Oh, Christ. 91 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,520 Oh God, I thought we left her in the last millennium. 92 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:13,480 Is there no justice? 93 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,120 Another sponger. 94 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,120 Oh, what a night I've had! I've taken up guacamole. 95 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,440 Guacamole, dear. It's very sexy. 96 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,880 You mean salsa, Gran. 97 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,840 She knows that! She knows! 98 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:28,520 I thought that was a dip. 99 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,040 She knows it's salsa! Salsa! 100 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,880 Don't react, she's just doing it to annoy you. 101 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,200 I know that, darling. 102 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,600 Got enough years under the belt to know that. 103 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:39,320 Oh you're calling that 'years' now, are you dear? 104 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,560 I thought you were preparing for a hard winter. 105 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,080 Stop her, Saff. Saff! Saff! 106 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,120 They used to predict the weather by you, you know. 107 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,280 (MUTTERING) Help, Saffy. 108 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,760 "She's designed for hibernating," 109 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:48,960 the neighbours used to say. 110 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,000 -Stock up with coal... -Stop it! 111 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,520 if you can't see her nose by October. 112 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,920 (EDINA HUMS LOUDLY) 113 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,240 Oh, I know I shouldn't laugh, but really... 114 00:04:58,280 --> 00:04:59,720 Oh! What's this? 115 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:00,720 Be careful, Gran. 116 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,880 Be careful, this is a new kitchen! 117 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,640 There is a vegetable place and a meat place, 118 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,360 only bleed on the meat place. 119 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,560 I don't want my new paintwork 120 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:11,240 splattered with your liver spots like . 101 Dalmatians 121 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,800 You used to have one of these when you were a girl. 122 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,360 Yeah, but I was never allowed on it. 123 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,160 No, you were too big for it. You wobbled. 124 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,880 The scooter wobbled! 125 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,880 If you say so. 126 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,360 I have perfect balance, sweetheart, look. 127 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,960 Wheels don't buckle on their own. 128 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,560 See that? 129 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,200 Now you know why I have to take it out 130 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:33,520 on you, darling, don't you? 131 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:34,960 Cycle of abuse, isn't it? 132 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:39,320 -What job are you getting, darling? What job is it? 133 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,720 It's a government initiative... 134 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:41,800 Ugh! Government! Ugh! 135 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,520 -for the promotion... -Oh, the promo... 136 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,280 Of British arts and culture abroad. 137 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:46,320 (SNIDE MUTTERING) 138 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,960 British arts and culture, is it? British? 139 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,520 What is that? The new PC, flagless, sexless, OK, 140 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:53,880 anodyne, milky-white British 141 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,400 New Labour brand, is it, darling? 142 00:05:58,160 --> 00:05:59,320 What are you doing? 143 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,640 I've come to pick up my E's. 144 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,800 I'm a silver surfer. 145 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,800 Well, not on my waves, you ain't. Get off! 146 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,800 And then I thought I might do a bit of shopping. 147 00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:14,200 Oh, god. No wonder all the dot coms are going under. 148 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,640 Look at this! 149 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,800 It's mainly oldies who shop on the web. 150 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,960 (HISSING) Yes. Virtual shopping for those with 151 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,480 no grip on reality, that's what it is. 152 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,920 Now what is my e-mail address? 153 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,480 Oldwoman@riskofbeingstrangled byowndaughter.com, 154 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:28,920 I should imagine. 155 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,400 Eddy! Eddy! Prepare yourself. 156 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,720 Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. 157 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:33,720 Goody. 158 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:38,840 What's happened to your face? 159 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,960 Darling, I told you. (MAKES SPURTING SOUND) 160 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,600 God, that's fabulous, darling. 161 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,080 Yeah, I did it last night. Yeah. 162 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,840 Doesn't it normally take a couple of days to kick in? 163 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,920 No, darling, I've told you, this is the business. 164 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:52,760 I got it direct from my little friend at the lab. 165 00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,640 What's happened to your face? 166 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,120 Darling, darling, she's just had a little bit of the Botox. 167 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,080 No, it's not Botox, it's Parralox. 168 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,200 You look like a zombie! 169 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:09,040 EDINA: She still has emotions, you know! 170 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,360 She doesn't have to pay for them in wrinkles, that's all. 171 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,880 I'm happy about that, can you tell? 172 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,400 -No. -Money well spent, Eddy. 173 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:15,640 -Money well spent. 174 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,080 Sweetheart, did you test it? How did you test it? 175 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,400 Have you seen her hand? 176 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,240 I mean, do you know what that stuff is? 177 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,040 Darling, it's very natural. It's just... 178 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:32,760 fresh from the jaws of an anaconda, isn't it, Pats? 179 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,880 It's a chemical weapon, they make it at Porton Down! 180 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,160 It's developed for use in Iraq! 181 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,640 Well, why shouldn't we share our beauty secrets, darling? 182 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,200 If it's good enough for Saddam, 183 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,600 -it's good enough for us. -Yeah! 184 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,240 I mean, who wouldn't risk a mild dose of Gulf War Syndrome 185 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:48,280 for a wrinkle-free hand? 186 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,120 For a wrinkle-free forehead, sweetheart, 187 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:51,320 for a wrinkle-free forehead. 188 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:54,760 You look like a haggis with pointed toes. 189 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:55,880 A tight old bladder skin 190 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,080 holding together some rotting old offal! 191 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,280 Your father was always rather partial to a bit of that. 192 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,480 Is this your idea of cheating death, by embalming early? 193 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:12,080 "Self-entombment, available at a cosmetic surgery near you." 194 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,320 Well, have you finished? Right. 195 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,240 We don't have to go to a surgery, do we, darling? 196 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,440 No, it's only a needle, Eds. You don't need an O-Level 197 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,200 to operate a syringe. 198 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,680 There'd be a social revolution if you did, wouldn't there? 199 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,440 -Yeah. -Let me get dressed. 200 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,840 Hi! I'm Katy Grin and these are carpets! 201 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,960 Come down now to Carpet Madness! 202 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,880 It's carpets! It's madness! 203 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,320 Carpet madness at Carpet Madness, now! 204 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:42,280 Just carpets! It's madness, madness, now! 205 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:43,520 Sale starts Friday. 206 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,520 Darling, did you know that Katy Grin is Bubble's cousin? 207 00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:51,160 -Who? -Katy Grin, darling, 208 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,560 I've told you, my new TV partner. 209 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,360 Mum. Come here. 210 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,800 Don't get your face paralysed. Promise me. 211 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,280 Yeah, I promise, darling, yes. 212 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,080 -Not that I care. -Understood. 213 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,800 We'll need to stop on the way, Eddy, 214 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,120 to pick up a couple of syringes. 215 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,520 No, darling, I don't think so. 216 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:16,880 Clean ones, Eddy. New ones. 217 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,480 Oh, Eddy, Eddy... 218 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,160 What, darling, do you want the toilet? 219 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,720 -Do you want to go back in? -No, no... Where's the car? 220 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,760 Chris, is this for me? 221 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:38,200 Where's the...? Did Bubble order this? 222 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:41,120 I'll call Bubble. Sending us a little munchkin car! 223 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,360 Are you coming as well, Chris? 224 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,680 You'll have to get in the back, Pats. Get in the back. 225 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,080 EDINA: Ow, ow, ow! 226 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,360 Don't put your leg there. 227 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,080 I'm going to call Bubble. This is ridiculous! 228 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,160 You almost got my eye out with your stiletto! 229 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,680 Just keep your legs in the back. 230 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:07,960 (CAR STARTS) 231 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,920 EDINA: I'll text Bubble. This is bloody ridiculous. 232 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,160 -PATSY: I've got it now, Eddy. -EDINA: Half car! 233 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,120 PATSY: I'm in the back. I'm quite supple. 234 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:21,080 EDINA: # Hey, baby 235 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,000 # I'm just driving down the road 236 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,520 # Lookin'... Ugh. 237 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:28,440 # Driving down the road, looking at the things 238 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,400 # Looking at the people on the side of the road... 239 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,280 # Lookin' at the handle on the door... # 240 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,360 -Not really very catchy, is it? -No, it's not. 241 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,520 (EDINA EXCLAIMING) 242 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,720 Your empire awaits. Ha ha! 243 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:49,840 What has happened to my car? 244 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,720 I was driven here today in a Liquorice Allsort. 245 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,680 Oh, Eddy, I think I've got deep vein thrombosis. 246 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,680 We were pointed at all the way by fingers. 247 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,280 But it's your promotion. 248 00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:59,200 The Air Aware Week. 249 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,000 "Clean up the atmos!" 250 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,040 And that's your promotion. 251 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,320 Hmm. Well, where is everybody? 252 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,800 They're waiting for you, in the TV meeting. 253 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,360 -Oh. -The drain-storm. 254 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,240 -You don't have to do that. -I don't have to do that. 255 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,040 Mmm. What is that? 256 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,200 Charity, charity, charity. 257 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,360 Every abnormal skin cell now has its own premiere. 258 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:22,920 Look at this. 259 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,440 Sponsored celebrity fun run for anyone who can't form a scab. 260 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:28,920 Oh, and meeting with Twiggly. 261 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:33,480 Oh, and you're on Richard tomorrow morning. and... Dudey 262 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:34,640 -Richard and Judy? -Mmm. 263 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:37,040 To push the Radical Gay Pride. 264 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,680 EDINA: (MUTTERING) Richard and Judy? 265 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,320 Fist Across America! 266 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,920 Richard and Judy? 267 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:46,440 I know them. 268 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,080 We stayed friendly. I should be doing that. 269 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:50,600 Well, they wanted me. 270 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:52,280 -But it's a TV thing. -It's a PR thing! 271 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,960 -You on TV, Eds! -Yes, darling. 272 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,560 Eddy Pie Hands! Eddy Pie Hands! 273 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,120 -Darling, I think... -No. 274 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,880 Now, get these off to the nanny, will you? 275 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:07,640 And tell her that if he doesn't stop crying, 276 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:08,840 she can take him to the doctor. 277 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,560 How can a baby cry like that? 278 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,320 Is that a cigarette? 279 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,000 And booze? 280 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:24,560 (LAUGHS) Oh, come on, partner, let's get some TV on the road. 281 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:25,920 Come on! Put it out! 282 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,640 -I won't be long, darling. -I hate smoking. 283 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:28,920 Five minutes, I'll be back. 284 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,320 Well, this is very nice. 285 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,040 Yes, it's my mother's. 286 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,360 I'm just here until I can afford to leave. 287 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:44,280 Wanting to, um, shake off the shackles of privilege? 288 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:50,720 But no, um... It's okay now, you're allowed to be rich. 289 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,600 In fact, I think we encourage it. 290 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,600 Well, I'm not a champagne socialist. 291 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:57,760 Bolly Bolsheviks! 292 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,840 I don't even drink. 293 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,240 Gran, I think you should go. 294 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:05,800 That's my Gran, it's not my mother. 295 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,680 She doesn't live here. She's not dependent. 296 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,360 Great to see a, um... 297 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,760 -Older person? -Yes! 298 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,640 Yes, couldn't think of how we say it now. 299 00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:20,080 Yes, an older person 300 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,040 using all the new-fangled technology. 301 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,080 Mmm. 302 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,200 Well, I think I'll leave that now, dear. 303 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,080 After a while it does get a bit boring. 304 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,440 Oh, I know. 305 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,160 And once you're stuck in a porn cycle, 306 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,400 you can be there for days. 307 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,080 Go now, Gran, go home. 308 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,160 JUNE: Good luck, dear. He's very nice. 309 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,440 -Is she here? -She'll be out in a minute. 310 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,040 Am I blinking? 311 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,440 -Botox? -No, Parralox. 312 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,520 Well, does exactly what it says on the tin. 313 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:12,440 And put more things in production. 314 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:13,480 Put them on the website. 315 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,760 Like a quiz for Twiggy. Things for Twiggy. 316 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,760 Quiz for Twiggy. Twigs for Quiggy. 317 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,320 Twiggy, hello, darling. 318 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,840 This is what I've come to see you about. 319 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,240 Since I took you on, nothing has happened. 320 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,040 You promised me TV vehicles, 321 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,840 but all I've had so far are black and white cabs 322 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,240 at my door, day and night! 323 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,800 -It's Bubble. -(CLIP-CLOPPING) 324 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:32,840 (BUBBLE WHINNYING) 325 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,160 -A quiz, yeah? -Yeah. 326 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,240 Yeah, I quite like that. What else? 327 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,160 Come on, you've had months! 328 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,800 Look, darling, I thought maybe 329 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,520 just a change of tack here, change of image, you know? 330 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:47,600 Radical Gay Pride. Fists Across America, darling. 331 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,000 Cos you are a gay icon. 332 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,760 -Oh. Am I? -Yeah. 333 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,560 -Damon! Damon! -Coming! 334 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,480 Twiggy! 335 00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,720 Anyways, Richard and Judy darling, 336 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,120 tomorrow morning with me. 337 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,360 Oh, I don't know. 338 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,760 I mean, they wanted Kylie. 339 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,840 I said, "No, Twiggy. She's got class". 340 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,200 Mmm. Yeah, I have. 341 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,360 She doesn't have to resort to wearing microshorts 342 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,880 wedged up her chocolate starfish 343 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,040 to get on telly, does she? 344 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,480 No. 345 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:16,640 Free car. 346 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,480 All right, I'll do it. 347 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,000 But look, I know Richard and Judy, 348 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,720 so let me do the talking, and you just sit there. 349 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,000 -All right. I'll get the details to your people. 350 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:27,200 -Okay. -See you down 351 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,720 -at the Gate Bar later. -Oh, all right. 352 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:32,320 Twiggy! How are you, darling? 353 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:33,440 -Sorry? -Katy. 354 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,840 We did the lottery show together. 355 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,720 You released the balls... 356 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,320 Twiggy, Twiggy, put our name on the door 357 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,560 at the Gate Bar. Put our name on the door. 358 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:45,600 Do a bit of shopping, go home and change, go to the Gate Bar. 359 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,840 That's great. 360 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,800 That stuff's kicking in, looking good, darling. 361 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,560 Oh, great, great, Eddy, thank you. 362 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,720 (INHALES AND EXHALES) 363 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,640 Do you think you're going to take that job? 364 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,320 Well, if it's offered, yes. 365 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,440 Which I think it will be. 366 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,480 He said it's unusual to find someone 367 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,280 with all the qualifications and no home commitments. 368 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,640 I think he liked you, if you know what I mean. 369 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,720 I don't think so. 370 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,480 Oh, yes. He fancied you. 371 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,080 No, I don't think so. 372 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,480 I've touched a nerve! 373 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:22,440 Saffy's got a boyfriend! Saffy's got a boyfriend! 374 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,200 You're going red. 375 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,800 Do you want to kiss him? 376 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,600 Do you want to sex him? 377 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:40,000 Sorry. 378 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,600 -Twiggy's got our name down! 379 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:43,240 Twiggy's put my name on the guest list! 380 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,920 Twiggy! They said they would put my name on the guest... 381 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,400 How do I know I'm not on the guest list 382 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,080 if he won't show me the guest list? 383 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,360 Look, who do you have to be to get a drink around here? 384 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:53,560 Excuse me. 385 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:54,560 Hi, Paul. 386 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:55,920 Victoria! Vic... 387 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,680 I know... I know her mother! 388 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:01,000 Oh, we'll go round the back. 389 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,600 Go round the back to the toilets. 390 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,480 Candy will let us in. 391 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:05,880 PATSY: Candy Bender? 392 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,160 She says she'll be in the right-hand cubicle, Patsy. 393 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,400 Should be here. 394 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,440 -(KNOCKING ON DOOR) -All right, on one condition. 395 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,360 You have to take Fisty when I go to Barbados, do you hear me? 396 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,640 -Goodbye, Minge. -Thank you. 397 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:17,760 Have you got my stuff? 398 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,200 Yeah. Stuff for Candy, here you are. 399 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,200 Don't know what happened to our membership card, 400 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,800 must be lost in the post or something. 401 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,560 Vomit on the left, Pats, vomit on the left. 402 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:25,760 Who were you talking to there? 403 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,560 My school friend, Minge. 404 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:28,840 -Oh, Minge! -Do you know what 405 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,120 -she wants me to do? -What? 406 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,080 -She wants me to invite Vic Hervey 407 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,720 to her 21st bash. 408 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,440 As if I'm not enough. 409 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,000 I mean, I'm an "it-girl", aren't I? 410 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,440 Well, what's the criteria? 411 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:39,840 You have to be an "it". 412 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,400 Oh, yeah. 413 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,680 There we go. Come on, Pats. 414 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,280 You look handsome. 415 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,720 (POUNDING CLUB MUSIC) 416 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,040 Twiggy! Darling, I'm just going to get a drink, all right? 417 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:52,960 Are you going to the Black and White Ball 418 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,800 at the In and Out Club for Minge's 21st? 419 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,080 -What? -The Black and White Ball. 420 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,640 -Where is it? -The In and Out Club. 421 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,400 -Who? -Minge! 422 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,840 -I don't think so. -Bitch! 423 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,760 Twiggy! 424 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,160 Twigs! You didn't put our name on the door! 425 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,040 Oh, sorry, I forgot. 426 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,720 Ah! 427 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,360 Where are you going? No, stay, stay, sit, stay. 428 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,120 Look, it's really late. I think I'm gonna go home. 429 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,680 -What? -I'll see you tomorrow. 430 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,040 -Tomorrow? What? -Richard and Judy. 431 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,920 Oh, I'm doing Richard and Judy! 432 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:28,640 -Will you be all right? -Yeah, I'll be fine. 433 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,440 -Will she? -Yeah, yeah. Great, yeah. 434 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,200 Sparkle! 435 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,480 Sparkle! 436 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,520 (RECORD SCRATCHING) 437 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,280 -Eds, I can't open my... -Oh, darling. 438 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,400 Touch of a nap. 439 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,920 It's just a little... 440 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,600 Very good. This is very good! 441 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:48,720 That's better. 442 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:54,480 So, a job in the arts. 443 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,440 Does your mother know you write plays and things? 444 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,320 No, not really. She wouldn't be interested. 445 00:18:58,360 --> 00:18:59,520 And you are to say nothing! 446 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,240 I don't speak to her. 447 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,160 Not since she gave me that chemical peel. 448 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,040 -Well, not so much chemical... -No. 449 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,360 -And not so much peel. -Uh-uh. 450 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,920 She set fire to your pigtails. 451 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,760 It's a good job I'm thick-skinned... 452 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,280 Except for this shoulder now. 453 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,440 Was your therapist any good? 454 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:25,040 Oh, yes, really nice. 455 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,640 It was actually quite helpful. You should go. 456 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,080 No, never! 457 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,000 I don't need any help! I can sort myself out! 458 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:32,520 You've got to get out of here! 459 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,680 (LOUD DANCE MUSIC) 460 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,000 (RECORD SCREECHES TO A HALT) 461 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,800 I love it here. I love you, actually. 462 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,600 I do, actually. I think you're fantastic. 463 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,960 Hey, Michael, Michael, give me a kiss. 464 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,560 -No, get off! -A little kiss, Michael. 465 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:50,920 Security! 466 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,800 (BOTH) # Hey...# 467 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:54,560 I was gonna give this one to J-Lo. 468 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:55,760 But this could be for you, 469 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,360 this could really do something for you. 470 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:58,560 Yeah. I could... 471 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,960 (BOTH) # Ooh, baby... 472 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,760 So not "hey," but "ooh," now? 473 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,240 -# I'm lookin'... -# Ooh... # 474 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:05,960 (MUDDLED DRUNKEN SINGING) 475 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,520 Security! 476 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,600 (THUMPING MUSIC) 477 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,000 So I thought we could... 478 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,440 Attica and Chinawhite? 479 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,000 Cabaret! 480 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,560 I've got you, Eddy, don't worry. 481 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,320 Don't go that way or we'll see those bouncers. 482 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:27,000 # Attica... Attica...# 483 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,400 That's where that vomit... Oh! 484 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,080 No, Eddy, Eddy... 485 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,440 Oh, I'm all right, all right. 486 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,360 Oh, God, honestly, darling. 487 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:41,440 I mean, that club, darling, it's just... Full of people. 488 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:42,880 Just cause they're on TV, darling, 489 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,960 they don't have to go back out through the vomit. 490 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,760 Yeah, they're famous people, yeah. 491 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:49,320 Yeah. You're on TV tomorrow, Ed. 492 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:53,920 (MUTTERING) TV tomorrow. 493 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,240 Yeah, get your face out there. 494 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,240 I could do that, couldn't I, darling? 495 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:02,320 Let Twiggy do the talking? I could do that. 496 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,840 I mean, I could get my own style challenge show, 497 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:05,920 couldn't I, darling? 498 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,680 It'd be perfect. You've always been style-challenged. 499 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,200 You wanna watch TV though, Eddy, it puts on two stone, 500 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,000 every wrinkle turns into a Grand Canyon. 501 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:16,760 Eddy, I think... 502 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,080 No, darling, I think. 503 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:22,520 Eddy, I think. 504 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:28,160 (SIGHS) 505 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:30,560 I'm going to be a star. 506 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,720 Just give me five minutes, then, Eddy, will you? 507 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:35,760 Oh! 508 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,280 (CRUNCHING SOUND) 509 00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:47,400 Get a drink, sweetheart. 510 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:50,200 See you in five, then, Ed. 511 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,280 Mum, come here. I want to look at you. 512 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:23,720 Had a great day, darling. 513 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,040 Life aims, daily aims, all complete, you know. 514 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,120 Come here! 515 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,520 Oh. 516 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:35,640 What, this? This? 517 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,640 (MUMBLING) 518 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,360 God, always the little policeman, aren't you, darling? 519 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,720 Yes, well, not for long. 520 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,040 My job interview went very well, by the way. 521 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,120 So get used to the fact that I'm not going to be here. 522 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:52,520 Oh, good. 523 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,480 Cos actually, darling, I was thinking, actually, 524 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,640 if I'm going to be a celebrity, it would look pretty sad 525 00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,320 to have some sort of big daughter 526 00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:02,200 still at home, wouldn't it? 527 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:03,320 Unless you've got M.E. 528 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:08,200 This is quite good, really. 529 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:09,640 We need a break, don't we, darling? 530 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,720 We need a clean break, you and I. 531 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,120 Just remember to empty all your ashtrays. 532 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,200 Don't sit on your feet any more. 533 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,080 No, I won't, darling, I won't. 534 00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:20,640 And I'll set up a food delivery service 535 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:21,640 for you on the internet. 536 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:22,600 Yum, yum! 537 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,640 (SIGHS) 538 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,240 I'm going to bed. 539 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,120 You're not going to be here tomorrow, are you? 540 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,800 Oh, no, darling, no tomorrow, no, no, 541 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,920 I'm fisting it on Richard tomorrow, darling. and Judy 542 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:36,560 Yeah, tomorrow I begin the harpoon ride 543 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:37,720 of my career, sweetheart. 544 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:38,920 -PATSY: Eddy! -Oh! 545 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:54,640 Ready? 546 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,080 It's not going to hurt. 547 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,560 -I'll go to sleep in a minute. -All right, darling? 548 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,320 -Yeah. -Little jab. 549 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:05,640 -Did you feel it? -No, nothing, nothing. 550 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:06,760 Oh, that's the pillow. 551 00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:12,000 It's just going in now. 552 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,480 -Ooh... -It's all right, darling. 553 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:15,680 It's all right, darling. 554 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,640 I'm going to concentrate on the nose and the lips. 555 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,280 That's really where we want to see it. 556 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:20,960 -All right, darling. -(EDINA WHINES) 557 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,960 That's good, darling. 558 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,760 I think I'll put a little bit round here, 559 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:25,840 cause that's where... 560 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:26,880 All right, darling. 561 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,280 Oh, that's good, darling. 562 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,080 And up here. That'll stun out those lines, darling. 563 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:34,120 (EDINA MOANS) 564 00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:37,600 And, er... 565 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,000 Oh, it seems to have gone. 566 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,200 I'll mix up some more, Eddy. 567 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,640 I'll mix up some stronger, darling. 568 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,120 I'll make it stronger round here. 569 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,480 -Yeah. -Stronger round here. 570 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,000 -Well... -Oh, please. 571 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:17,560 Look, I can go at the drop of a hat. 572 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,200 In fact, I can go before the drop of a hat. 573 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,120 -I could go now. Please! -Well... 574 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:24,880 The job is yours. 575 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,600 Oh, I knew it! Brilliant! Oh, thank you! Thank you! 576 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:28,920 Thanks! Ohh! (GIGGLING) 577 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:35,360 This whole initiative is really close to Tony's heart. 578 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,400 Yes. 579 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:42,200 Actually, er... Tone said he'd love 580 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,200 for you to come and have dinner 581 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,600 with him and Cherie at The Ivy one night. 582 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:48,480 -If you can make it. -Oh! Yeah. 583 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:11,800 Mmm-nnn. 584 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:14,560 (GURGLING SOUND) 585 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:22,160 -Cherry is my... -Sorry, it's Che-rie. 586 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:23,520 -Oh, yes. -Sorry. 587 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,240 She's my role model. 588 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,160 (MUMBLING) 589 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:33,720 LABOUR PARTY MAN: Your mom? 590 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,280 SAFFY: Yeah, um... 591 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:36,920 My God, this woman needs help! 592 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,280 No! 593 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,400 (DISTORTED) Saffy, help Mummy. Help Mummy! 594 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,400 You don't understand, she's not normally like this. 595 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:46,840 I think she wants you to help her. 596 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,960 No, she doesn't, there's nothing the matter with her! 597 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,000 I mean, but she's a... She's a... You know? 598 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,760 Oh, Christ, what do we call people like this? 599 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:55,160 -Um, uh... -She's not! 600 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,560 She's just doing it for attention! 601 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,480 I'm very sorry. No, I'm sorry. I really am sorry. 602 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,520 I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit her. I just... Please! 603 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,960 (DISTORTED) Help Mummy, please. 604 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,520 -Stop it! -Help Mummy... 605 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:08,680 Stop it! 606 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,560 (MUMBLING) 607 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:11,960 You can stop it now, he's gone! 608 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,240 (DISTORTED) It was Patsy's injection! 609 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,200 Told you that stuff was dangerous. 610 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:47,880 She shouldn't have gone to sleep. It sunk. 611 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:53,120 (DISTORTED) Richard and Judy. 612 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,960 She loves those bracelets. She's looking at the diamonds. 613 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:02,680 Are you looking at my diamonds? Oh, you've got taste. 614 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,760 You've got lovely little socks, haven't you? 615 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,120 RICHARD: Anyway, come on, we've got an interview to do. 616 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,520 Well, let's bring Twiggy in here. 617 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,480 Oh, look, she likes you too, Judy! 618 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:14,440 -I'd love to... -Yes, you hold her! 619 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,280 KATY: All right, Mimi. 620 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,320 Haven't you two done well! 621 00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:22,560 -RICHARD: Well, you know... -How do you keep it up? 622 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:24,080 You don't know, do you Twiggy? 623 00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:25,440 You look brilliant! 624 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:26,640 (MUMBLES ANGRILY) 625 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,040 Oh, don't start that. 626 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:31,200 (MUMBLES) 627 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,120 Sit up! 628 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:44,200 Shut up!