1 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:04,440 # Wheel's on fire 2 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:11,040 # Rolling down the road 3 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:15,400 # Let's notify my next of kin 4 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:20,840 # This wheel shall explode. # 5 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,200 # I'd like to get you 6 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:25,640 # On a slow boat to China. # 7 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,960 No, no, no! 8 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,560 That's my favourite melody 9 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,360 and it's reining me back to the champers. 10 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,400 Oh, Bricey-boy, 11 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:38,520 how about making me your official arm candy? 12 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,640 Oh, no, you're too fruity for me. 13 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,400 I fear, we must keep our relationship professional. 14 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:46,560 # Out on the brinie... # 15 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,920 You can stop singing, honey, he's not interested. 16 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,640 Oh, in you, perhaps! 17 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,280 DOLLY: Oh, come on! 18 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,160 Let's dance, dear. 19 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:58,200 I think it's time for another of those pills. 20 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,600 Oh, get me a couple, honey. 21 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,680 They'll help you with your periods. 22 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,640 # Mr What-ya-call-em, what you doin' tonight? 23 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,240 # Hope you're in the mood... # 24 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:11,640 Oh, I've no knickers on. 25 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,240 # Hope you're in the mood because I'm feeling just right 26 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,720 BOTH: # How's about a corner with a table for two...? # 27 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:18,840 (SCATTING) 28 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:20,760 Excuse me, I am trying to work upstairs 29 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,200 and I can't because of the noise! 30 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,400 -(GLASS CLINKING) -Oh! 31 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,960 I'm... I'm sorry, Saffy, dear. 32 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,240 It has got a little bit out of hand. 33 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:33,040 Ahem, perhaps you could do something and get rid of them. 34 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,200 It was all Dolly, she's got a terrible voice. 35 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:37,920 It was you I heard singing, Gran! 36 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,360 So I don't think that's quite fair. 37 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:40,520 Oh! 38 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:41,720 Hello! 39 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,720 Brice, Brice Michaels. 40 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,960 I'm most awfully sorry. 41 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,400 The girls are spinning, somewhat. 42 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,560 Tails in the air, this evening, I fear. 43 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,480 It's all right. Is mum home yet, Gran? 44 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,960 Oh, I don't think so, dear. 45 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,200 Brice runs a supporting artistes agency. 46 00:01:58,240 --> 00:01:59,920 -My card. -Extras? 47 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,320 Non-speaking actors! 48 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,880 -In the chamberpot of secrets. - . Harry Potter 49 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,600 The Chamber of Secrets? 50 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,400 -It's only pin money. -Yes, but we enjoyed it, dear. 51 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,200 -Pin money? -No, no, no... 52 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,800 Hot dog! 53 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:15,720 I say, what a smashing nightie! 54 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,080 Hey, don't let your lazy eye wander. 55 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:20,880 I'm a muggle. 56 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:24,520 Oh, here they come. 57 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,680 It's my daughter and her friend. 58 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:27,880 Tinkety tonk! 59 00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:29,400 This is your cue to leave. 60 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,240 Well, they don't frighten me, so don't let them bully you. 61 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,800 Admire your crust, Dolly, 62 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:35,280 but I must take this opportunity 63 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,480 of bidding you goodnight. 64 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:37,680 Yes, come on, Dolly. 65 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,680 Chariots ahoy, girls! 66 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,720 -What the hell are they doing? -Trolls and vampires. 67 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,000 Where have you been? 68 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,800 What do you think where have we been, darling? 69 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,600 A Marilyn Manson concert, where do you think? 70 00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:01,040 We've been mosh pitting it, Eddy! 71 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,480 I'm a mosh queen! 72 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,240 Yeah, I'm a mosh queen, aren't I? 73 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:06,440 Well, well. 74 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:07,760 Oh, apart from that, ow! 75 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:08,840 What did you do? 76 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,040 She tried to crowd surf and the tide went out. 77 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,080 The sea just parted, darling, I don't know how. 78 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,880 They'd probably never seen anything that old 79 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,200 flying at them before. 80 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:22,360 Look at that face. Look at that little face! 81 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,720 You don't even know what we're talking about, darling. 82 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:25,880 Hmm, hmm, hmm. 83 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,480 Do you want a drink, Eddy? 84 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:28,880 What have you got? 85 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:31,360 -Veuve and Bourb. -Veuve and Bourb. 86 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,280 Have a bit of Veuve and Bourb. 87 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:34,840 It's all the new stuff, darling, 88 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,800 you know, Slipknot, Papa Roach, Korn. 89 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,680 Makes the Sex Pistol sound like pop music. 90 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,400 Have a listen to that. Have a listen to that. 91 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:43,440 That's mine! 92 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,960 But I just borrowed it for the evening. 93 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,320 -Well, next time, ask. -I'll ask. 94 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,360 Please. There! 95 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:48,680 (MUFFLED HEAVY METAL PLAYS) 96 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,960 What do you think? SHOUTING: What do you think?! 97 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,360 It just sounds like swearing to me. 98 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,400 -Well, It's ironic, darling. -I love it. I love it. 99 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:55,480 (SILENCE) 100 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,680 Darling, darling... Wait till I turn it on. 101 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:00,880 Hang on, hang on. 102 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,200 (MUFFLED HEAVY METAL MUSIC) 103 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:04,320 Oh! Ow! 104 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,400 Sorry, sorry. You've got caught up. 105 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,080 Ow! Ow! Ow! Eddy, what are you doing? 106 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:10,640 Sit down! 107 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:12,120 -What are you doing? -Sit down. 108 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,720 Look at what you've done? 109 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:15,880 Oh, you've got a tiny little knot, 110 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,120 so I'm gonna cut it. 111 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:18,520 No, don't! It's mine. Let me try. 112 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,120 No! Ow! Ow! Ow! 113 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,480 -I haven't even touched you. -Oh. 114 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,840 It's tangled in your necklace. Lift your hair up. 115 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:27,880 -No! -No! 116 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,760 I don't know what you've managed to do here. 117 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:33,800 Just take the scissors. 118 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,800 No, don't give her anything sharp! 119 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:39,960 Oh, do you have to be that close? 120 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,800 -I can be closer. -(MEEKLY) Eddy! 121 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,040 Have a drink, darling. 122 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:48,080 Come on, we are stars in that dope show, ain't we, eh? 123 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,920 Hey, do you think we should go and see the Stones 124 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:50,960 when they're on tour? 125 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,480 Oh, I don't know, they're a bit sad now. 126 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:53,720 Sad, yeah. 127 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,080 Yeah, we don't wanna look sad. 128 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,120 What's sad is you saying sad. 129 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,160 Can you tell her not to speak when she's that close?! 130 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,160 I can feel her dog breath on my neck. 131 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,680 Darling, we are not sad, darling. 132 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,240 We are still hip to the beat. 133 00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:06,280 We are still out there. 134 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:07,720 That's what's happening, you know. 135 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,720 My flash, it is the lick, buddy boy. 136 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:12,600 All right? Hip speak. 137 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:13,920 What is it that you say, darling? 138 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:14,960 Um... 139 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,480 Time is like a stretched elastic band. 140 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:19,720 You can't let it go 141 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,400 or it'll flick back and take your eye out. 142 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:25,760 There you go. 143 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,960 Rockers should stay rocking or die. 144 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,160 Or choke on their own vomit. 145 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,040 Just overdosed into the Hall of Fame. 146 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:37,520 Yeah. Not play golf, not retire, not fish! 147 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,560 Not fish. And, darling, darling, not Roger Daltrey! 148 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,400 -Not fish farm! -Not fish farm! 149 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,080 They should die with a needle in their arm, 150 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,120 not a hook in a trout. 151 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,080 Yeah, exactly. 152 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,720 I mean, that man just went from Tommy to tuna, didn't he? 153 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,720 # We won't be fooled again! # 154 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:56,280 (WHOOPING) 155 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,000 Ow! 156 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,040 At least old Macca's back on the scene. 157 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,440 Old Paul McCartney, Macca. 158 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:10,280 In his trainers. 159 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,040 I should have had him, shouldn't I, darling? 160 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,600 I mean, I chased him hard enough. 161 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,240 The Beatles sometimes went for odd ones. 162 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:16,360 Yeah, they did. 163 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,840 Like Yoko, just that wall of hair. 164 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,240 Couldn't tell where the pubes ended and the feet started. 165 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:30,280 Like a sort of Yeti, wasn't it? 166 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,680 Still, I wouldn't have been happy. 167 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,640 I'm too red blooded aren't I, darling, for Macca? 168 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,560 I'd never be happy with just a sort of... 169 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:36,920 Vegetarian sausage. 170 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,440 -Will you keep still?! -I am still! 171 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:43,800 She's very still. 172 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:45,280 In fact, Patsy's very calm, darling. 173 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,320 -Thank you, Eddy. -What are you on tonight? 174 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:48,360 Rohypnol. 175 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,560 Oh, it's working. It's working. 176 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,000 Why aren't you dead? 177 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:55,480 Sweetheart! Because she started young. 178 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,960 When other kids were pinning the tail on the donkey, 179 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,600 Patsy was looking for a vein. 180 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:02,240 It wasn't a question! 181 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,720 Don't speak, and keep your face away, 182 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:05,760 and your... 183 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,040 Your hair! 184 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,080 My hair isn't anywhere near you. 185 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:15,040 Your face hair. 186 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:16,080 What, darling? 187 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,200 Well, keep your face hair away from her. 188 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:19,240 EDDY SIGHS 189 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:20,840 What are we gonna do this week, darling? 190 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:21,880 PATSY SIGHS 191 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,320 I don't know, Eddy. We need a plan. 192 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,520 -Are you on holiday? -No. Not on holiday, darling. 193 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,320 It's all right, we'll just take a little break 194 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:32,160 from the 24/7 hedonistic lifestyle, darling. 195 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,520 -Are you here this week? -Yes. 196 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,320 Oh, always here. 197 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,120 Always here. 198 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,000 Actually, darling, Patsy and I had a little idea 199 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,000 about how you could sort of earn a bit of extra money 200 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,480 and save up and leave home, you know? 201 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:46,040 -Oh. -Yeah. 202 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,200 We thought, darling, you might like to sell your eggs. 203 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,520 What? Everyone's doing it, darling, on the internet. 204 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,520 You just pop them out and sell them to the highest bidder. 205 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,280 Don't include a photo of the donor. 206 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,000 Might put off a prospective purchaser. 207 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,040 What, darling? What's your problem? 208 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:04,720 It's not like you're ever gonna need them. 209 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,120 In fact, sweetheart, sweetheart, 210 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:07,880 thought we might get a little pinhole camera 211 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,600 and we could do a little sort of virtual tour 212 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:10,640 of your ovaries. 213 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,440 You know, people could sort of pick their own. 214 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:13,760 Pick your own eggs, darling. 215 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,560 You know, have a little sign. £10,000 per punnet. 216 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:17,600 What about that? 217 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:18,920 I don't feel very well. 218 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,040 -What's the matter with you? -Can I help you, darling? 219 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,320 -I think I'm going to faint. -What's the matter with you? 220 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,360 -I think I'm gonna throw up. -It's only Patsy. What? 221 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,960 -What? What? What? -Oh, damn. 222 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,080 What? 223 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,000 Lid seems to have come off my Amyl. 224 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,360 (DOOR CLOSES) 225 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:39,960 SAFFY: Let me know if you need anything. 226 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,200 MAN: I will, thanks. 227 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,800 Who's that? 228 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,720 Saff! 229 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,520 Saff! 230 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:56,120 Saffy! 231 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,320 Saff! Saff! Saff! 232 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:58,880 -Didn't you hear me, darling? -Yes. 233 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,120 -There is a man... -Not. 234 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,560 -Building... -Not. 235 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:02,600 All right. 236 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,680 Man not building motorway through the back of house. 237 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,600 Then why man standing out there measuring? 238 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:07,760 (COUGHING) 239 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,080 -Morning, sweetheart. -Morning, darling. 240 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,720 Where did she sleep? 241 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,360 In that little room. 242 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:18,640 The utility room? 243 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,760 My room! 244 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,200 -No! -Oh, darling. Just for a week. 245 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,760 -Come on, sweetheart. -What man? 246 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,880 The gardener. He's doing something about the garden. 247 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:28,560 What garden? 248 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,000 I think she means that little bit out the back, darling. 249 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,000 The garden. I'm having it redesigned. 250 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,840 Oh, having it redesigned. 251 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,400 I think somebody's been watching 252 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,640 a little bit too much of those TV shows, darling. 253 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,520 You know, that... What's that woman called? 254 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:45,200 Two udders and a watering can. Oh, yeah, Charlie. 255 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,560 (SARCASTICALLY) Charlie Dimmock, sweetheart, 256 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:48,920 is it? 257 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,960 (SIGHING) 258 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,800 Are you paying this man? 259 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,400 His company. He runs the company. 260 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:55,520 He runs the company. 261 00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:57,560 -What's his name? -Jago. 262 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,840 -Jago. -Jago Balfour. 263 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,240 Jago Balfour? Jago Balfour, Eddy. 264 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:02,720 Did he say he's running this company? 265 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,120 Yes. He seems very nice. 266 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,560 -And is he well... -Hung? Oh! 267 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,120 I didn't mean that, sweetheart. 268 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,640 -Is he well bred? -Bred. 269 00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:12,240 Posh? Yes, I suppose so. 270 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:13,440 I think he said he went to Eton, 271 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,080 but it doesn't seem to have affected him. 272 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,600 -Eddy, Eddy, Eddy. -What? What? What? 273 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,760 Jago Balfour. I think I knew his older brother. 274 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,440 -That can't be... -Yeah. Doggy Balfour. 275 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,560 Doggy Balfour. 276 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,440 Huge estate, you know, out in the... 277 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,160 He's absolutely rolling in it. 278 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,160 Do you think this is the same Balfour? 279 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,720 -We'll go and check him out. -Check him out. 280 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,360 What are you doing with that, darling? 281 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,520 I'm going to give it to Jago. 282 00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:35,520 I'll take that to Jago, sweetheart. 283 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,280 Can I borrow your placky booties? 284 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,720 (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) 285 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:45,280 All right, darling. I'll take it out to him. 286 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,400 Well, go on, then. 287 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,600 It's upstairs and through the French windows. 288 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,680 I knew it was upstairs and through the French windows! 289 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:18,120 There you go. 290 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,280 Thank you. Very kind. 291 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,600 It's my garden. 292 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,320 Oh, right. Well, I think it's lovely. 293 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,440 That was just my daughter you were dealing with. 294 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,520 So, do you do it yourself? 295 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:34,800 What? 296 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,160 The garden. 297 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,880 Yeah. I love it. I love all this um... 298 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,280 You know, all the stuff. 299 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:46,840 Those things. 300 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,760 -The green. -Yeah. 301 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,720 Ooh, darling, ooh! 302 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,360 (GIGGLING) 303 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,520 I can't believe you let me go out looking like this, darling. 304 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:09,960 Did you ask him? 305 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,280 Not yet. We just sort of talked about the garden. 306 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,080 It's quite nice out there actually, darling. 307 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,560 It's quite nice out there. 308 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,680 Now, darling, he's quite nice out there. 309 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,440 Oh, really, sweetie? Oh, good, good, good. 310 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,000 He's far too young for you. 311 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,760 Anyway, how would you know? 312 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:28,920 Because, darling, I am an experienced woman, all right? 313 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,200 Besides, he had on quite tight jeans. 314 00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:36,280 Could you see his bog bamboo? 315 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,400 Yeah. I got a little hint of an acorn. 316 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:44,320 That's disgusting! 317 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:45,720 Why don't you just leave him alone 318 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:46,760 and let him get on with it? 319 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,160 He's quite lovely. He's gorgeous. 320 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,720 Step one, Eddy, let's get you dressed. 321 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,080 Let's get me dressed. Right. Here I go. 322 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,800 Va va voom, darling. 323 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,840 Va, va, va, voom. Va, va, va, voom. 324 00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,800 Now just remember the plan of action, okay? 325 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,000 Mmm-hmm. 326 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,640 You go for him, and step two, the house party. 327 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:06,200 The house party. What's step three, darling? 328 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,640 Step three is rut him and beget the son and heir. 329 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,360 In fact, I think that might be step two. 330 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,120 Oh, right, right, right. 331 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,800 Darling, if he's the younger brother, 332 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,000 he won't have inherited, will he? 333 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,920 Oh, darling. Doggy's dead. Overdosed. 334 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:21,360 -(EXHALES) Hurrah! -Yeah. 335 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,880 Good, good. Go for it! 336 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,920 -Plans for the garden. -Oh, right. Let's have a look. 337 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,920 Maybe I should show them to... 338 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,920 -Was that your mother? -Yeah, sorry about that. 339 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,080 She didn't look old enough 340 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:34,880 to have a daughter as old as you. 341 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,760 You might be confusing age with maturity. 342 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,240 She made me this old. 343 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,000 I'll wait for her here. 344 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,840 Oh, no she's getting dressed. She'll be hours. 345 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:45,880 It's okay. 346 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,520 Yeah. Poor old Doggy. 347 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,080 But, still, the parties. 348 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,520 The parties he used to give 349 00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:54,040 made Satanism look like a Bar Mitzvah. 350 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,200 Doggy chasing every orifice 351 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:57,720 no matter where it was in the body 352 00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,160 and after dinner, brain surgery, 353 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,320 you know, trepanning the skull just for fun! 354 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,280 -Ooh. -Oh, Doggy. 355 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,640 Yup, he lived the way he died. 356 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:08,320 Yep, I can see him now just quite still in the bath. 357 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,360 A stiff with a stiffy and a smile on his face. 358 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:15,000 And a little fleck of foam at the corner of his mouth. Sweet. 359 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,840 We could have servants, couldn't we, darling? 360 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:20,280 Oh, yeah. Butlers, maids, houseboys. 361 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,280 Houseboys. We could have a lot of servants. 362 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,400 I want a lot of servants. 363 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,800 What do you call it when it's a lot of servants? 364 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:27,160 Uh, an orgy? 365 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,840 I want just squares. 366 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:33,440 We can just soften the lines a bit. 367 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:34,800 Oh, I've got an idea. 368 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,480 Please don't say water feature. 369 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,240 No, It's just a pebble bubble fountain. 370 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:42,920 It's very simple. 371 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,200 It's just a hose coming through some pebbles. 372 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,160 Look, why don't we just wait for your mother? 373 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,800 -What did you say her name was? -Edina. 374 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,320 -(DOOR BELL RINGS) -Lovely. 375 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,520 I thought she was lovely. It's a lovely name. 376 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,400 It was Edwina. 377 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,320 -Look, she'll be hours. -It's okay. 378 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,360 Oh, dear. The girls aren't here? 379 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,680 I've got a minibus waiting outside. 380 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,800 Ah, there you are. These are for you. 381 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,160 Best probably to put them in some water. 382 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,400 I am sorry for last night. 383 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,160 Is it all right if I wait? 384 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:21,200 I'm running a bit... Oh, tinkety tonk. 385 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,800 I say, how do you do? My card. 386 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,760 I've got to go. Will you be all right? 387 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,480 She will be down at some point I'm sure. 388 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:28,840 Right as rain. 389 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,160 Fine. 390 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,720 Just waiting for the ladies. 391 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,800 -Hi. -Hi. 392 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:41,840 Hi. 393 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:44,440 Oh! 394 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,880 -This is Patsy. -Hi. 395 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,440 I've got the plans for the garden. 396 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:52,560 Ooh. 397 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,040 They look lovely. 398 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,960 Are you, um, Doggy's brother? 399 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,040 That's right. 400 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,640 Where are those girls? 401 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,680 Hermione's waiting outside. 402 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,240 Put her teeth in back to front. 403 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,000 Looks as if she's eating her own head. 404 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,600 Will you wait somewhere else, please? 405 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:17,960 All right. 406 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,440 No, no, no. Stay. Stay. 407 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:20,800 Well, as you can see, 408 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,240 I've made some suggestions for plants. 409 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:24,880 Endymion hispanicus, 410 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,760 Dierama pulcherrimum, Galtonia candicans, 411 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,400 Fritillaria imperialis, Acanthus hirsutus, 412 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,720 Wisteria sinensis Alba. 413 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,720 Veronica beccabunga, Digitalis purpurea, 414 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,960 Syringa vulgaris, Forsythia intermedia. 415 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,440 Cruising, that's the hot ticket these days. 416 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,640 Will you wait over there, please? 417 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:48,120 Ships the size of blocks of flats, but marvellous. 418 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,080 They treat you very well. 419 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,640 Clematis Jackmanii superba. Hedera helix. 420 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,000 But you don't get a porthole. 421 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,320 You have a really wonderful aura. 422 00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,440 Thank you! 423 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,800 Eccremocarpus scaber. 424 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,800 Festuca glauca. 425 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,200 You have really lovely eyes. 426 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,280 Pennisetum villosum, Pulsatilla. 427 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,760 And he doesn't have a wheel. Just, um... 428 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,080 Immaculata. 429 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,480 A computer mouse. 430 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:16,600 (WOMEN HUMMING) 431 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,240 That's all I need. Will you go out? 432 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,360 # Oh, you beautiful doll! # 433 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,520 No, you should go low. You were always lower. 434 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,760 No, my range has never changed, dear. 435 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,200 I think a range has more than four notes. 436 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,280 Girls, girls. 437 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:38,280 Will you just get rid of them before I deadhead them? 438 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,200 -Can we have some pills? -I'm getting them. 439 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:41,880 What pills are... What pills are those? 440 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,440 Give me those. What are you taking? 441 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,720 You can't have that. That's my emergency HRT... 442 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,160 Oh. 443 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,360 Come along, girls. I'm on a double yellow. 444 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:56,240 Emergency HRT. I don't need it yet. 445 00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,480 Probably won't need it for couple of decades, you know, 446 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:00,920 the way my juices are flowing. 447 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,480 Don't overdo it, Eddy. 448 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,160 I can't do this, darling. You take over. 449 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,960 No, darling. Keep going, my tactics are working. 450 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,440 Not with an audience. I don't want an audience. Get out. 451 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:18,000 Talk some more Latin. I love it when you talk the Latin. 452 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,960 Why don't we continue this a bit later? 453 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,760 -What? -I've another job to go to. 454 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:22,800 -Oh. 455 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,920 Look, would you have dinner with me? 456 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,680 I know it's a bit out of the blue, 457 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:34,040 but I'm only in town for a couple of days this week and... 458 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,480 Well, uh... Well... 459 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,320 Well, uh, yes! 460 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,880 Great. I'll give you a ring. 461 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,560 Pull. Pull. 462 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:52,680 Darling, I just don't think 463 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,400 I've got any pelvic floor muscles. 464 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,240 I can't feel any movement there at all. 465 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:57,880 You've got to practice, Eddy. 466 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,720 That's all right for you. You haven't had kids. 467 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,160 I've had two heads through mine. 468 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,440 Mine's more a one-way system. 469 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,400 Yes. 470 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,800 I can still blow smoke rings through mine. 471 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,600 -Are you doing it now? -Oh, yeah. 472 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,040 Let's get those tits up, darling. 473 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,080 Tits up, tits up. 474 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:17,480 No, not with the straps, darling. 475 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,120 I've got a little inflatable thing here. 476 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:20,480 It's a new blow-up bra. 477 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:21,680 -Oh. -Tube there. 478 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,680 (BLOWING LOUDLY) 479 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,320 Just blowing them up, darling, for tonight, you know, 480 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,480 for my date with Jago. 481 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,640 No, darling, don't include her. Now, listen, Eddy. 482 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,880 To keep on schedule, you've just got to go for it tonight. 483 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,880 -Go for it. -What are you, her coach? 484 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,520 No, darling. It's only sex, isn't it? 485 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,880 It's only sex, darling, isn't it...? 486 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:46,640 Sex, is it, darling? (GIGGLING) 487 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,360 Why are you hatching this horrible plan? 488 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:51,520 You hate the country. 489 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:52,720 I don't hate the country, 490 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,480 not the kind of country he's got, darling. 491 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,760 Besides, Patsy and I were in the country last week. 492 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,280 -Were we? -Yeah, we were in Ireland. 493 00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,040 -Remember that celebrity shoot. -Oh, yeah. 494 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,080 Patsy shot a Corr. 495 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,000 I was aiming for Bono. 496 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,800 Anyway, darling, what's your problem? 497 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,520 It means you'll have the house to yourself, 498 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,600 you know, a little bit more for your little writings, 499 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:12,680 little scribblings. 500 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,120 Oh, well, then, sleep with him. 501 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,000 Thank you. I will. 502 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,160 In fact, darling, I think I might become a hot couple. 503 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,880 Don't you think? Me and Jago, hot couple? 504 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,440 -Get in all the magazines. -Yeah. 505 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,080 -Play polo, you know. -Yeah. 506 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:25,840 Always going for the end result without the process. 507 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,840 I like results, darling. 508 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,880 Yes, but life is in the details. 509 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,120 Yeah, well, now you've lost me. Anyway... 510 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,320 Mum. 511 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,080 Oh, no. 512 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,520 Look at that. I know what that is. 513 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,840 That's the "You are going to use contraception" face, 514 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,000 isn't it, darling? 515 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,720 -Well? -No, Eddy, no! 516 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,000 Beget the son and heir. 517 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,920 Oh, beget the son and heir. 518 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,680 -No! -Yes, darling. 519 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,600 It's all right when you have a baby now, you know, 520 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:52,960 you can choose what you want. 521 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:56,200 You came before the right to choose. 522 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,880 Nowadays, you just sort of hand in an order form I think. 523 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:00,160 Yeah, just get a little chart, 524 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:01,840 you know, get skin tone, eye colour. 525 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:02,880 Yeah. 526 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,400 You just get it genetically modified. 527 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,000 No chance of another hideous accident. 528 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,240 Yeah. 529 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,000 Don't be so ridiculous. 530 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:10,520 -(DOORBELL RINGING) -Oh, that's him. 531 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,520 Oh, darling, that's him, that's him, that's him. 532 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:13,720 Go and answer it. 533 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:16,200 (SHOUTING GIBBERISH) 534 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,240 When I come back, I don't want anyone here, all right. 535 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,520 Now, Eddy, keep focused, darling. Just keep focused. 536 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:22,880 Tonight you're gonna go out there 537 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,360 and you're just gonna knock him dead. 538 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,640 Knock him dead. No fancy moves, just knock him dead. 539 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,160 Aah. 540 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,960 Hi. Hi, you look lovely. 541 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,640 I had to borrow some clothes off a friend. 542 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:34,600 I had nothing in town. 543 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,040 Off you go, Eddy. Off you go. 544 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:38,560 See you later. 545 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:47,920 Don't let me keep you. 546 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,800 Haven't you got one of those little plays to write 547 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,560 that nobody ever goes to see? 548 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,480 People do go and see them. 549 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,480 (SCOFFS) 550 00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:58,920 (INDISTINCT VOICE ON TV) 551 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:08,080 (DOOR CLOSES) 552 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:12,360 (DOOR CLOSES) 553 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:19,840 Yeah, I'm a kind of vegetarian, you know. 554 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,800 It's just that I eat meat. 555 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,800 I never have, but I have been known to nibble 556 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:26,040 the odd ear lobe or two. 557 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:27,160 (CHUCKLING) 558 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:30,760 Come in, come in, come in. 559 00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:34,600 Have a seat. 560 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:35,920 You look tense. 561 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,040 No, I'm fine, really. Just fine, fine, fine. 562 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,920 -I do a great back massage. -Oh, yeah? 563 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,200 What about the fronts? 564 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,600 Come here. 565 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,680 Oh, look at that. 566 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,120 What are you thinking? 567 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:56,240 I was thinking, you know, do flowers have sex? 568 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:57,280 Yeah. 569 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,840 Oh, yeah, they do, with bees. I remember now. I remember. 570 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,320 -Come on. -Oh. 571 00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:04,720 (MOANING) 572 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,320 -Wait, wait, wait. -What's the matter? 573 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,440 It's just, uh... 574 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,360 I am quite big with my clothes off, you know. 575 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:12,600 Come here. 576 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,200 (YELPS) 577 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:32,760 (AIR HISSING) 578 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,520 (AIR HISSING) 579 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,520 -It's just... -Let's go upstairs. 580 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:44,680 Yeah. Let's go upstairs. 581 00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,360 What a mess. What a mess. 582 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,560 -I like you looking wild. -Yeah. Looking wild. 583 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,640 Don't be nervous. Relax. 584 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,680 Like Saffy says, 585 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,040 I always want to cut to the result, not the process. 586 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,440 I'm going to make another joint. 587 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,640 Yeah, let's have a joint. I want a joint. Let's have a... 588 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:15,640 (HUMMING) 589 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,760 Saffy's put some mints out for me. 590 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,920 There's some papers in the joint box over there 591 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,520 if you want to roll us a joint. 592 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:35,880 I'm going to get undressed. 593 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,240 Hey, let me undress you. 594 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,240 No, that's all right. Believe me, there is a skill. 595 00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:49,120 (WHISPERING) I thought you were downstairs. 596 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:50,720 Get in the shower, get in the shower. 597 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:52,000 Get in the shower! 598 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:53,720 Just get in the shower, for God's sake. 599 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,120 There. There. Now stay there. 600 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:58,960 JAGO: Eddy, come and smoke this. 601 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,000 Yeah, just coming, just getting undressed. 602 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,400 Eddy? I hadn't quite finished. 603 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:12,160 There, there. 604 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,160 Now, listen. Just stay in here and don't watch. 605 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:19,800 (EDDY TEARING CLOTHES) 606 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,080 There we are. Oh, you're that side. 607 00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:26,920 I'll come round. 608 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,840 Just left enough on for you to play with. 609 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,480 (WHISPERING) Tits, lips, tits, lips. 610 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,680 Oh. 611 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,640 Oh, that's nice. Oh, joint. 612 00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:40,280 I love you the way I love trees. 613 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:41,480 Oh. 614 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,920 You know, when I touch a tree, 615 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,800 I feel connected, you know, to the ancient. 616 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,000 Ooh. Ooh, really? 617 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,680 I believe there is a divinity in every natural living object. 618 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,400 (EDDY MOANS) 619 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,880 You are my high priestess and I am your high priest. 620 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:00,080 What? 621 00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:02,400 You know, when all my thoughts are exhausted, 622 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,480 I like to slip into the forest 623 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,680 and gather a pile of shepherd's purse. 624 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:09,520 Like the little stream 625 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,560 winding its way through the mossy crevices, 626 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:17,120 I too quietly turn clear and transparent. 627 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,960 Yeah. 628 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,280 Talk the Latin again. Talk the Latin. 629 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,000 -I love it when you talk Latin. -Chaenomeles speciosa. 630 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,440 -(MOANS) -Kerria japonica. 631 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,920 Clematis jackmanii superba. 632 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,840 Hedera helix. 633 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,200 Hydrangea petiolaris. 634 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,520 EDDY: Oh, yes. Love the Latin. 635 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,400 Love the Latin. 636 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,880 JAGO: Mine are the forests and the streams 637 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,600 and the rivers and the mountains. 638 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:49,240 Mine is the cup of the wine of eternal youth. 639 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:54,560 All is come from the cauldron of Ceridwen, and I will know. 640 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,840 Rut her. Rut her. Rut her. Rut her. 641 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,960 So mote it be! 642 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:07,680 (GASPS) 643 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:09,880 Morning. 644 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,000 Morning. 645 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,640 I think I was a little stoned last night, don't you think? 646 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,680 Yeah, you were wonderful. It's good stuff. 647 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,800 I grow it on the estate. 648 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:22,960 Yeah. 649 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,200 I was wondering if... 650 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:29,840 Do you ever get lonely in that house? 651 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,360 No, not really. 652 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:33,800 Well, in that huge house? 653 00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:36,440 That huge house, the huge estate? 654 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:37,840 So, we were thinking, you know, 655 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,680 maybe come out this week and... 656 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,360 Oh, I don't live in the house. 657 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:43,840 What? 658 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:44,880 I live in the gatehouse. 659 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,720 With all that money? 660 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:51,200 No, there is no money. 661 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,520 Doggy put it all up his nose, or on a vein. 662 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,400 I had to sell the estate. 663 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,280 I sold it to Roger Daltrey. 664 00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:58,320 It's now a... 665 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:05,920 It's a fish farm. 666 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,240 No! 667 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,560 # Wheel's on fire 668 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:19,040 # Rolling down the road 669 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:23,760 # Let's notify my next of kin 670 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:29,600 # This wheel shall explode. # 671 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:33,880 Shame it didn't work out. 672 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,840 Still, he did say I was, you know, wonderful. 673 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:37,880 No, Eddy. 674 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,200 No. He said it, darling. He said that... 675 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:43,720 No, darling, believe me. I was there. 676 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,160 Is it going to be a pond, dear, or a bird bath? 677 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,280 Oh, it's a pebble bubble fountain. 678 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,360 The water spills out over the stone. 679 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,800 It's all very contained, and simple, and safe. 680 00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:58,560 But what on earth is the point of that, dear? 681 00:28:58,600 --> 00:28:59,880 What's the matter with you? 682 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:02,160 She's having a hormonal cold turkey, darling. 683 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,640 Deserves it as well, trust me. 684 00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,360 All right, time for another drinky before we go. 685 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,680 -SAFFY: Where are you going? -New York. 686 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,240 I didn't think they let people with drug convictions in. 687 00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:14,320 Darling, it's not a conviction. 688 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,720 -Just a firm belief. -Yes. 689 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:21,000 # This wheel shall explode. # 690 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:27,400 # Ziggy played guitar. #