1
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,438
They're creepy
and they're kooky
2
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:20,351
Mysterious and spooky
3
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,237
They're altogether ooky
4
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:24,151
The Addams family
5
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:26,197
The house is a museum
6
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,077
When people come to see 'em
7
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:29,991
They really are a scream
8
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:31,672
The Addams family
9
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,069
MAN: Neat.
10
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:35,749
Sweet.
11
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:39,595
Petite.
12
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,352
So get a witch 's shawl on
13
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,317
A broomstick
you can crawl on
14
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,197
We're gonna pay a call on
15
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,840
The Addams family
16
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:05,876
Darling, do you think
you did the right thing
17
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:08,474
by joining that Zen-Yogi society?
18
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:09,994
Obviously.
19
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:13,788
Nothing more important
than physical culture.
20
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,189
True.
21
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,189
Ever see anything more restful
on the feet?
22
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,756
No, I can't say that I have.
23
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,311
Does your head feel good, dear?
24
00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,830
Darling, you can't have everything.
25
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,030
That's true. I never thought of that.
26
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,395
I wish you'd get Uncle Fester to join up.
27
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,269
He wouldn't even Iisten.
Something's come over him Iately.
28
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,591
-He's been acting sly, secretive.
-Dear Uncle Fester.
29
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,711
He just improves with age.
30
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,879
How do you Iike this?
31
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,676
Oh, yes.
32
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,711
But I'm not sure about the neck.
33
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:55,635
Oh?
34
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,714
-Too Iow?
-Too wide.
35
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:03,398
-For Cousin Eustace?
-I take it back.
36
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,878
2:00. The afternoon paper should be in.
37
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,792
I'II get it.
38
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,835
-Don't be Iong.
-I won't.
39
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:27,033
-I'II wait for you in the conservatory.
-Morticia.
40
00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:31,309
Time has stood still for you,
angelito mio.
41
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:35,311
You Iook even Iovelier
than the day I first Iaid eyes on you.
42
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:37,635
Bubele.
43
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,515
That word. I'd better go.
44
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:21,514
You rang?
45
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,274
-Lurch, did you pick up the paper?
-No, sir.
46
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:28,792
Someone's been stealing it the past
four or five days. Any idea who it is?
47
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,275
Fine Ioyalty.
48
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:54,868
Uncle Fester.
49
00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:57,554
Thank you, Thing.
50
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,152
If it weren't for you,
this place would be a madhouse.
51
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,156
Is mother's baby hungry?
52
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:16,915
Yeah.
53
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,189
There.
54
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,996
-Morticia.
-Oh, Gomez.
55
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,230
The most touching thing has happened.
56
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,677
Your carnivorous plant
put its tentacle around you again.
57
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,752
Tish, I think you've been feeding them
altogether too much hamburger.
58
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,796
No, no, no, sweetheart.
59
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,874
It's the trailing arbutus
and the creeping midnight crawler.
60
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:43,959
They're embracing.
61
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:51,478
Isn't that sweet?
They fell in Iove and intertwined.
62
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,589
But the creeper went to the Ieft
and the arbutus went to the right
63
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,598
and they choked each other.
64
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:01,994
What a way to go.
65
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,159
Morticia, I must tell you,
Uncle Fester is not himself.
66
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,993
-Oh, is that bad?
-Maybe not.
67
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,108
But he has been interfering
with the children's upbringing Iately.
68
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,636
Against my express wishes
he promised Iittle Pugsley a Gila monster.
69
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,314
Darling, it's healthy
for children to have pets.
70
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,715
-Gila monsters?
-Why not?
71
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,279
They're so expensive.
72
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,598
Dear Uncle Fester. Generous to a fault.
73
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,669
WEDNESDAY: Mommy, Daddy,
come Iook, come Iook.
74
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,316
Look what Uncle Fester got me.
75
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:43,199
-He had it made especially for me.
-A black widow spider village.
76
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:46,750
-Isn't that Iovely?
-Just Iike a society of small humans.
77
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:51,312
-Yeah, they do nothing but fight.
-That's Iife.
78
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,950
-But is this anything for our child?
-Of course not.
79
00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:00,192
She already has many more spiders
than she'II ever need.
80
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,353
Have fun, dear.
81
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:09,038
-Still think we should talk to Uncle Fester.
-Maybe, but gently.
82
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:10,958
The Iast time we scolded him,
83
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,679
he went into his closet
and didn't come out for weeks.
84
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,194
It was an act, my dear. He Ioves his closet.
85
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,473
Interesting, yes.
86
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,512
Very interesting.
87
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:28,869
Come in.
88
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,711
Was that you talking to yourself,
Uncle Fester?
89
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,917
-You've been doing that quite a bit Iately.
-Well, only when I'm alone.
90
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,992
-Uncle Fester...
-I know what you're going to say.
91
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,276
I've been spoiling the children.
92
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:45,549
-I guess I Iike to feel wanted.
-But you are wanted.
93
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,830
-And needed.
-Needed?
94
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,913
You wouldn't even Iet me fix that Ieak
in the roof.
95
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,077
And my finger fit it perfectly.
96
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:57,269
Uncle Fester,
I told you, that's my favorite Ieak.
97
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:00,193
And what about you?
98
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:03,317
There was a time you'd never think
of using your electric shaver
99
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,118
without connecting it to me.
100
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:09,874
Well, Gomez felt
you've been a bit run-down Iately.
101
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:11,913
Run-down?
102
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,910
And I can still make it blink, too.
103
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,473
You call that run-down?
104
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:29,435
Well, the truth is, Uncle Fester,
my new shaver is AC
105
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,318
-and you're DC.
-Excuses, Excuses.
106
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:36,158
-I'm sorry.
-Well, you don't have to be.
107
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,238
I've been scanning
the Ionely hearts column.
108
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:45,434
-You haven't.
-You sly old fox, you.
109
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,915
Well, under the circumstances,
I thought I'd take a bride.
110
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:55,152
Uncle Fester, you just can't take one.
You're supposed to find your own.
111
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,551
It's the sporting way, old boy.
112
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,395
You'II be fighting the women off
with clubs.
113
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,790
CIubs? Yeah.
114
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:07,952
I think I'd Iike that.
115
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,835
Well, I better get on with the Ietter.
116
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,038
Oh, Gomez.
117
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:20,274
This morning when I woke up
and the sky was all dark and cloudy,
118
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:24,514
I knew right then and there
that this was going to be a Iovely day.
119
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:33,635
But I can truthfully say I have never Iet
breeding, social position,
120
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:38,430
or Iooks go to my head.
And I'm Iooking forward to meeting
121
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:42,115
someone of the opposite sex
with these same qualities.
122
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,110
Signed, Modesty.
123
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:47,155
Got it?
124
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:51,995
Excellent.
125
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:56,432
You have a very delicate handwriting.
Thank you, Thing.
126
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:03,796
Uncle Fester, we have a surprise for you.
127
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:07,589
A surprise? For me? I know I'm gonna cry.
128
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,272
CIose your eyes.
129
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,112
AII right, Gomez.
130
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,237
I just know I'm gonna cry.
131
00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:15,352
You can open them now.
132
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,869
-We saved it from our wedding.
-It's beautiful.
133
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,590
And you made such a handsome couple.
134
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:30,353
I do hope my bride
will be worthy of all this.
135
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,152
I better mail this...
136
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,554
Do you think
I ought to send a snapshot along?
137
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:39,954
I believe so.
How about that nice one the city took?
138
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,712
The time you fell asleep
on the park bench
139
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,075
and they carried you off
to the morgue by mistake.
140
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:48,358
Oh, no. I was thin then and I had hair.
141
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:51,478
-I do Iook better now, don't I?
-Much.
142
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,149
-I'II have a new one taken.
-Yes.
143
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:59,313
But it's imperative that it show
your character, your strength,
144
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,518
-your nobility.
-We'II have it touched up.
145
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,033
That won't be necessary.
I'II take the picture.
146
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:10,589
Ready?
147
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,793
No, no, Uncle Fester. You're smiling.
148
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:22,354
-Oh, pardon me.
-Just show the natural Addams charm.
149
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:24,389
Gotcha.
150
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:31,313
-Much better.
-Much. Now for the character.
151
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,235
Beautiful.
152
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,912
Now Iet's see that strength.
153
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:43,313
Magnificent.
154
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:47,795
Now the piece de resistance,
your nobility.
155
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,908
Breathtaking.
Oh, hurry, Gomez, get it before he Ioses it.
156
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:56,749
AII right.
157
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:02,276
Hold it, hold it now. Hold it! Ready?
158
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:11,749
Perfect!
159
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:25,240
I wonder what Uncle Fester's bride
will be Iike.
160
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,709
He once went with a girl
who Iooked Iike a walrus.
161
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:31,310
Darling, beauty isn't everything.
162
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,154
You're right.
163
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,752
He's talking about moving
after the wedding.
164
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,308
He's found a home
in a nice condemned section.
165
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,868
I wonder what their children will be Iike.
166
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:46,193
Doesn't matter about the boys,
but I hope the girls Iook Iike Uncle Fester.
167
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:51,479
I do wish Grandpa Squint
and Aunt Vendetta were still alive.
168
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,474
They'd get such a thrill
out of the wedding.
169
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,560
Darling, they are alive.
170
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,479
They are? They don't Iook it.
171
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,318
-I'd better check.
-You'd better.
172
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,509
-How do you Iike it?
-Like what, old boy?
173
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:18,230
-Can't you tell?
-A new collar.
174
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:19,829
Certainly not.
175
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:22,434
How can you improve
on genuine matched gopher?
176
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,033
You're parting your hair just...
No, that can't be it.
177
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:30,951
Come on, take a real close Iook.
178
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:35,677
-I've got it. You've had your head waxed.
-Yes.
179
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:39,116
Oh, you men.
You're much fussier than women.
180
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:42,795
It's hard coat. Won't crack, scuff or stain.
181
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,033
It's very becoming.
182
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,918
I thought you'd Iike it.
Oh, has the mail come in yet?
183
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,958
Now, now, control yourself, old boy.
You know the mail doesn't come along
184
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,076
-until Iater.
-I just can't help it.
185
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:57,551
I'm a Iovelorn swain wandering around
in a Iovely black cloud.
186
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,834
Oh darling, you can't expect an answer
to your Ietter yet.
187
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:05,589
-You only mailed it yesterday.
-Oh, you never know.
188
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,758
There may be someone out there
as eager as I am.
189
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,272
Dear Uncle Fester.
190
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:17,956
I haven't seen him this happy
since he blew up the guesthouse.
191
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,398
Mother, Mother.
192
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:27,828
Oh, hush, Bruno.
You've been so grumpy Iately.
193
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,591
I wish you wouldn't shout so.
Your father's trying to take a nap.
194
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:34,672
That's all right,
I just can't seem to sleep anyway.
195
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,914
Guess I'm excited
about Uncle Fester's wedding.
196
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,672
I wanted to show you the present
I have for him.
197
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:49,430
-You Iike it?
-But, darling, I don't see anything.
198
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:51,393
You're not supposed to.
199
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,756
Uncle Fester says
it's the thought that counts.
200
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,798
I'm thinking of a nice friendly cobra.
201
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,198
Isn't that clever?
202
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,953
If we put our minds to it,
we can save a fortune.
203
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,159
Yes, Thing?
204
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:12,632
Why, thank you. For Uncle Fester?
What is it?
205
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:17,116
Come on, now. You can tell me.
I won't tell anyone.
206
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,076
-A shrunken head.
-Just what he wanted.
207
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:32,476
I do hope your brother Pugsley
hasn't forgotten his dear uncle.
208
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,152
He is going to buy something.
209
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,869
He's upstairs getting the money
out of his piggybank now.
210
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:38,995
Oh?
211
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:14,834
The mail's in.
212
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:30,758
Uncle Fester, you must give it time.
It's only been one day.
213
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,194
I was sure I'd get an immediate response.
214
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,874
I gave a very full description of myself.
215
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,237
Patience.
Your Miss Right will come along.
216
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:53,314
Hello.
217
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,274
Well, hello there. Is your mother home?
218
00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,910
-Are you from the Health Department?
-Why?
219
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:05,189
The neighbors complained
about Aristotle getting Ioose.
220
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:10,756
-Aristotle, what an odd name for a dog.
-Not for a octopus.
221
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,751
No, not for an octopus.
222
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,515
Well, I'm not here
about anything Iike that.
223
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,511
I sell cosmetics and toiletries.
224
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:23,391
Well, then my mom is at home.
Her name is Mrs. Addams.
225
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,195
Thank you.
226
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,758
Say, maybe you could help me
make a sale.
227
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,430
What kind of powder
does your mommy use?
228
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,671
-Baking powder.
-I mean on her face.
229
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:36,074
Baking powder.
230
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,676
And Uncle Fester
uses a spray-on preservative.
231
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:46,953
-No, you mean a spray-on deodorant.
-No, preservative.
232
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:50,072
-To keep young?
-Just to keep.
233
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,792
Well, thank you very much.
You've been very helpful.
234
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,155
She's here.
235
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:07,553
She didn't even bother to write.
236
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,074
She just packed a bag
and came in person.
237
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,633
Oh, this is terrible.
She's not my type at all.
238
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,640
Uncle Fester, I agree
she doesn't have your Iooks,
239
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:24,077
but maybe with a nice stringy hairdo
she'd be almost presentable.
240
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,116
Oh, no! That's not enough.
241
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:30,593
But perhaps, way down deep inside,
where it really counts,
242
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,399
-she's one of us.
-No, no. There is no chemistry.
243
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:37,075
She doesn't do anything for me.
Our Iife together would be a mockery.
244
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:42,351
Lurch. Don't go to the door.
Maybe she'II go away.
245
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,671
-Someone at the door.
-Oh, darling,
246
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,991
-it's Uncle Fester's mail-order bride.
-Ugly duckling.
247
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,069
-Just doesn't pay to order by mail.
-I better hide.
248
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,311
No, you're not. You're going
to stay right here and face her.
249
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,756
This will be very good experience for you
in handling a scheming, grasping woman.
250
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,115
How do you know she's scheming
and grasping, Tish?
251
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:21,192
She came over here with a bag,
ready to move right in.
252
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,430
Trying to muscle in on the competition.
253
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,070
How do you do, Mrs. Addams?
I'm Miss Carver.
254
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:42,718
Yes, won't you come in?
255
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,674
Well, thank you, ma'am.
Thank you very much.
256
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,829
You know, I'm not always greeted
so cordially and invited in immediately.
257
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,480
-You do this often?
-Many times a day.
258
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,279
You poor thing.
259
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,318
You mustn't be discouraged.
260
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,868
I always say there's a right one
for everyone.
261
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:01,914
Won't you come in?
262
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,793
Looks Iike you're preparing
for some sort of a party.
263
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,757
Every day is a party with us.
264
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,872
Miss Carver, this is my husband,
Mr. Addams.
265
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,394
How do you do, Miss Carver?
PIease sit down.
266
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,028
Thank you.
267
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:36,670
And don't tell me, that gentleman
behind you is Uncle Fester.
268
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,149
I know from the description I've received.
269
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:43,752
-You can't force me.
-Oh, I never use force.
270
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,438
Just gentle persuasion.
271
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,635
And sometimes in difficult cases,
I merely give a free sample
272
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,950
and Ieave the prospect to think it over.
273
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:54,514
Miss Carver!
274
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,753
We don't countenance such behavior
in this house.
275
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,794
Well, then, I'II be happy to accept cash.
276
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:11,158
I believe we can quickly convince you
that your visit here is quite hopeless.
277
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,357
Don't say that.
278
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,997
Very difficult, yes,
but certainly not hopeless.
279
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,832
Let me ask you a few honest and
straightforward questions, Miss Carver,
280
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,717
and you'II see what we mean.
281
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:28,193
You've met Uncle Fester. Do you really
think you have something to offer him?
282
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,439
I should say.
283
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,954
Why, I could make
a new man of him entirely.
284
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,554
I have a 90-day plan that works wonders.
285
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:38,999
That's typical of a woman.
286
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,356
You meet the ideal man and right away
you try to make him over.
287
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:43,839
Not make over.
288
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,397
Just enhance
and bring out the basic attractiveness
289
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,829
which you already have
in such abundance.
290
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,916
You poor thing.
You have it bad, haven't you?
291
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,548
-I beg your pardon.
-Well, you just met Uncle Fester
292
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,712
and already you're willing
to devote your Iife to him.
293
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,830
I do have a Iifetime plan,
294
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,196
but I'm sure you'II see
a great improvement in just 90 days.
295
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:14,594
Would you excuse us for a few minutes,
please? A Iittle family conference.
296
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:15,669
Of course.
297
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:25,039
Uncle Fester, I think we may have judged
Miss Carver too hastily.
298
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:28,237
-I can't stand her.
-She's crazy about you, old boy.
299
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:32,873
Darling, you can make her over a Iittle.
Get her a decent wardrobe.
300
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,475
And after she's been out of the sun
for a few months
301
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,471
she'II Iose that ghastly color.
302
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,834
I've changed my mind.
I don't want to get married.
303
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,990
I guess my standards are just too high.
304
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,469
Uncle Fester, you Ied her on.
305
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,797
Now you go in and be nice to her.
306
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:52,111
She's probably
in an agony of doubt. Gomez.
307
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,957
Well, have you decided
to Iet me give you a demonstration?
308
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,192
-No, I can't go through with it!
-Come now.
309
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:08,920
Let me show you something exotic
for the boudoir.
310
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,718
Don't you dare!
311
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,198
Perhaps you ought to Iet her, Fester.
It might give you a change of heart.
312
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,431
-Gomez!
-There's no harm.
313
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,950
Go on, Fester, Iet yourself go.
Take her in your arms, kiss her.
314
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,953
Might not be so bad
if you keep your eyes closed.
315
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,753
-Mr. Addams!
-She's quite right.
316
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,593
-Young Iovers should be alone.
-Young Iovers?
317
00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:31,998
I'm getting out of here.
318
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,035
Fester, I think you've just been jilted.
319
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,958
Consider yourself Iucky, Uncle Fester.
She was a very vain woman.
320
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,674
That case was full of nothing
but cosmetics.
321
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,357
And no taste. Not a bit of baking powder.
322
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,879
Anything interesting
in the paper tonight, dear?
323
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,479
Just a situation wanted ad
by that Miss Carver.
324
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:22,512
I suppose she decided against marriage.
325
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,551
Some people just don't have it.
326
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,390
You were very Iucky, Uncle Fester.
327
00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:32,348
I sure was.
328
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,228
This Zen-Yogi is much better
than marriage.
329
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,470
-Marvelous, isn't it?
-Yeah, and so economical.
330
00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:43,271
-Economical?
-No shoes.