1
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,551
They're creepy
and they're kooky
2
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,358
Mysterious and spooky
3
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,351
They're altogether ooky
4
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,271
The Addams family
5
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,277
The house is a museum
6
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,191
When people come to see 'em
7
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,111
They really are a scream
8
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,872
The Addams family
9
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:34,275
MAN: Neat.
10
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:35,909
Sweet.
11
00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:39,749
Petite.
12
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,478
So get a witch 's shawl on
13
00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,437
A broomstick
you can crawl on
14
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,272
We're gonna pay a call on
15
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,954
The Addams family
16
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,916
These conventions, they're so exciting!
17
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,390
I remember the first time I voted. 1906.
18
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:18,039
Now, Mama, you know
there was no woman suffrage in 1906.
19
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,839
-That didn't stop me.
-You're a real Addams.
20
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:22,675
What's all the noise?
21
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:24,830
The conventions, Morticia,
the conventions.
22
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,275
I do wish they wouldn't shout so.
23
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,828
It keeps Iittle Pugsley's octopus awake.
24
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,832
The poor thing's getting rings
under his tentacles.
25
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,789
And my African strangler, too.
26
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:39,077
It just Ioses all desire to strangle anyone.
27
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,309
Thank you, Thing.
28
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:51,630
Dear Thing.
It sets such a good example for us.
29
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,194
Show-off.
30
00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,557
-Uncle Fester!
-I'm sorry.
31
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,438
Now, you know I don't Iike
petty jealousies.
32
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:02,749
Where's Gomez?
33
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,400
He's down in the playroom
hanging pictures.
34
00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:09,075
Oh, dear. I do hope he isn't hanging
the picture of Cousin Grisly
35
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,549
facing the firing squad down there.
36
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,518
It Iooks so right in the hall.
37
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:20,754
What are you doing, darling?
38
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,593
Just getting the playroom
into the election spirit.
39
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:29,548
Is he running again?
40
00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:31,756
No, but I thought I'd bring out
the pictures of the men
41
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,592
we Addamses have supported in the past.
42
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,113
Very appropriate.
43
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:42,391
-We really backed Landon to the hilt.
-Yes. I must say he was a very good Ioser.
44
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:44,951
No better than AI Smith here.
45
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:46,992
Or Wendell Willkie.
46
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:50,189
Or Adlai.
47
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,315
Uncle BIight masterminded
their campaigns.
48
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,119
OId "Kiss-of-Death" BIight,
they called him.
49
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,518
I never quite knew why.
50
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,319
Grandpa Squint says
it's an old family nickname.
51
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,551
Grandpa knew his way
around the political arena, too.
52
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:09,951
Abe Lincoln begged him for his support.
But there's the man who got it.
53
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:11,314
Stephen Douglas.
54
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,076
Darling, with all this natural
political talent,
55
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,116
shouldn't you be running for public office?
56
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:20,556
No, we Addamses prefer
to think of ourselves as king-makers.
57
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:25,191
The man I've decided to throw
my support to, in every way,
58
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:27,671
is Leonard G. Quimby.
59
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:45,593
-Howdy, neighbor.
-How do you do?
60
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,910
-Well, I see you've picked your man.
-Yes, I have.
61
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,639
Even heard you made
a substantial contribution to his campaign.
62
00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,233
It's only money.
63
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:53,509
Good.
64
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,597
-George Bass is my name.
-Addams here.
65
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,517
-Is all this yours?
-Well, we go back to the cemetery.
66
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,197
We all do, sometime.
67
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,911
It's nice to see citizens
taking an interest in the election,
68
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,116
even if they have backed the wrong man.
69
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,077
Quimby? Why, he's our insurance man.
70
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,948
Got us off the hook when my son,
Pugsley, accidentally blew up the garage.
71
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,756
But that's neither here nor there.
72
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,072
You're right.
73
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,760
My man promises to modernize the city,
74
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:30,479
put in more streetlights,
drain the swamps.
75
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,318
-Drain the swamps?
-That and more.
76
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,353
Well, maybe I have been a Iittle hasty.
77
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:40,791
-Do you have a picture of your man?
-Do I have a picture of my...
78
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,669
There he is, the voice of progress.
79
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,797
That's Sam L. Hilliard.
Why, he's an old friend.
80
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,510
I hope the L stands for Lucifer.
81
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,836
-It does, it does.
-Good. He's a fine man.
82
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,551
Last time he was around here,
he went away with the shakes.
83
00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,073
I wonder why.
84
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,879
Overworked. Then you'II vote for him?
85
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,554
We'II do better than that.
We'II go out and campaign for him.
86
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,791
Wonderful! Wait till I tell Mr. Hilliard.
87
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:10,995
Here.
88
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,111
Welcome, fellow campaigner.
89
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,393
Sorry, Quimby.
90
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,397
You can sprinkle Iater, Tish.
Take a Iook at this.
91
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:29,590
-I could have sworn he was bald.
-My dear. That's another man.
92
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,672
That's our old friend from
the School Board, Sam L. Hilliard.
93
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,796
I've changed horses in midstream.
94
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,758
-That's the Addams way.
-Of course.
95
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,796
The L stands for Lucifer.
96
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,749
Very appropriate for a politician.
97
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,156
But, darling, Iook at his platform.
98
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:49,710
"Modernize the city,
put in more streetlights,
99
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:53,315
"drain the swamps! "
Drain our Iovely swamps?
100
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:58,599
-The man's an extremist.
-querida mia, our swamps are safe.
101
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,196
Mr. Hilliard won't do any
of those terrible things.
102
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:04,511
Don't you realize politicians
always make extravagant promises?
103
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,194
Fortunately
I can see through their Iittle games.
104
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,316
Darling, you're so clever.
105
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:13,632
I'm sure Mr. Hilliard will be very happy
we've decided to join his campaign.
106
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,037
I can just see his face.
107
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:20,193
No, no, no.
I want no part of that Addams family.
108
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:23,158
But they're good
for a nice campaign contribution.
109
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:24,355
You get it.
110
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,830
Look, the public Iikes personal contact
with the candidate,
111
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,150
you know, the old handshake,
the baby kissing.
112
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:32,913
You've got to go over
and welcome them officially.
113
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,399
I'd rather Iose.
114
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:39,078
You may, if you don't Iay your hands
on some more campaign funds.
115
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,554
-Seriously?
-Seriously.
116
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,311
It's still not worth it.
117
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:08,433
Community pride,
public service, civic duty.
118
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,951
I wonder if we're doing the right thing.
119
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,395
Don't you want
to save our Iovely swamps?
120
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,955
That is a good cause.
121
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,755
-Besides, elections are fun.
-We should vote more often.
122
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,718
How's this one?
123
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,358
That's nice, Uncle Fester,
and very original, too.
124
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,317
-Yours is nice too, my dear.
-Thank you, darling.
125
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,754
-You Ieft the R out of "friend."
-I thought it Iooked better that way.
126
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,077
By Jove, it does.
127
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,554
I wonder why Mr. Hilliard hasn't called
to thank us for joining his campaign.
128
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:45,790
Busy, no doubt. That reminds me.
129
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:49,429
I think I'II send Lurch over and
invite Hilliard to a Iittle strategy meeting.
130
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,512
Our candidate. Welcome.
131
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,478
Mr. Hilliard, how nice of you to join us.
132
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:06,435
We've been up nights just planning
and planning for you.
133
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,033
What are you planning?
134
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,714
Show him the wonderful sign
you painted for him.
135
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,598
"Everybody's fiend?"
136
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,436
I didn't think you'd notice.
137
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,470
Sit down, Mr. Hilliard, I'II have Lurch
serve some refreshments.
138
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:25,795
You rang?
139
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:29,156
-Name it, Mr. Hilliard. Coffee, tea?
-Brew?
140
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:31,878
Oh, no, thank you.
141
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,990
Won't you sit down, Mr. Hilliard?
142
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:42,636
Mrs. Addams and I would Iike to discuss
some campaign strategy with you.
143
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,678
Look, I just remembered
a speaking engagement.
144
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:53,993
Yes, thank you.
145
00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:01,072
Now then, what's the key
to every successful political campaign?
146
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,430
-Money.
-Exactly.
147
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:07,433
-Gomez is such a brilliant strategist.
-She really knows me.
148
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:13,834
Sure, sure. Well, why don't you just
make out a check for, say, $5,000?
149
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,630
-A drop in the bucket.
-$10,000?
150
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,551
-$20,000 or nothing.
-$20,000?
151
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:19,675
We insist.
152
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,796
-Well, if you put it that way.
-We do.
153
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:25,077
But more important than money
is how it's going to be spent.
154
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,635
We have some wonderful ideas.
155
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,760
-Like that sign?
-Better.
156
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:35,075
Well, why don't you just make out a check
and Ieave the campaigning to us.
157
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,515
But these are sure-fire strategies.
158
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,910
Number one: We wanna get our butler,
Lurch, on television.
159
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:44,159
We feel he'II appeal to the women's vote.
160
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,477
Camera moves in. It's a close-up of Lurch.
161
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,710
Lurch expresses himself
on the candidacy of Sam L. Hilliard.
162
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,308
Animal magnetism. You can't top that.
163
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,754
Tell you what? Make it $10,000.
164
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,595
Our children can appeal
to the junior voters.
165
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:12,274
Junior voters? Kids don't vote.
166
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,712
By George, you're right.
167
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,951
How about $5,000?
168
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,953
Gomez, darling, we'II still have
to Iet the children go on television.
169
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,598
They'II be so disappointed.
170
00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,511
Besides, they wrote
such brilliant speeches.
171
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,033
$2,500.
172
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,715
You'II forget all about money
when you hear the song
173
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:31,349
that Uncle Fester wrote for you.
A campaign song.
174
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:35,038
-$1,000.
-Uncle Fester!
175
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:42,749
Uncle Fester, sing your campaign song
for Mr. Hilliard.
176
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,549
-This will kill you.
-Oh, no.
177
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:48,355
You...
178
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,193
To the harpsichord, Lurch,
we're gonna do the song.
179
00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,078
It's the kind of song
that gets you right here.
180
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,309
$500.
181
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,995
Don't be a hog
help clean up the bog
182
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,151
Vote for Sam L. Hilliard
183
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,674
He'II stick to the issue
he may even kiss you
184
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,069
So vote for Sam L. Hilliard
185
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,395
Honest and fearless
Sam L. is peerless
186
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,675
He's a man for
whom we stump.
187
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,990
So don't be a goat
and just cast your vote
188
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,595
For the pride of
our city's swamp
189
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,036
Well, what do you think?
190
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,793
I think we've got more money
than we need.
191
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,473
Uncle Fester can do the song
with special effects, too. He Iights up.
192
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:48,788
Lights up?
193
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,635
Don't worry about the flickering.
We'II have him recharged.
194
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,359
-I better go.
-You haven't seen anything yet.
195
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,829
-PIease, I'II give you a Iittle money.
-Nonsense.
196
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,480
-I'm really unworthy of your support.
-Twaddle.
197
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,595
I'm a grafter.
198
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:15,274
You mean all your campaign promises
are phony?
199
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,876
-As a $3 bill.
-I got a Iot of $3 bills.
200
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:23,797
I'm not going to do anything
about the streetlights.
201
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,872
-The streets stay dark and gloomy.
-Wonderful.
202
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:30,518
And the bogs and marshes,
I'm gonna make them even boggier.
203
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:31,635
Capital!
204
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,359
I knew you'd appreciate
my Ieveling with you.
205
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:35,634
We do! We do, Mr. Hilliard.
206
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,075
I almost forgot the most important thing.
Our party mascot!
207
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,276
-We don't need a party mascot.
-Yes, we do.
208
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,669
The Democrats have their donkey,
the Republicans have their elephant.
209
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:44,910
-Guess what we have?
-I couldn't begin to.
210
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,150
We have Kitty cat.
211
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,319
Kitty. Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.
212
00:12:58,640 --> 00:12:59,868
Don't frighten the poor dear.
213
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:03,316
I'II send you a Ietter of apology
first thing in the morning.
214
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,039
-Forgot your hat.
-Keep it!
215
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,396
Well, it Iooks Iike
we backed the right man.
216
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,550
No question about it.
I'm just sorry about one thing.
217
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,313
-What's that, dear?
-I forgot to register.
218
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,273
"In the course of human events,
219
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,318
"there are many moments
that try men's souls.
220
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:37,558
"There are moments
of crisis, of tragedy, turmoil,
221
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,349
"doubt. There are even moments..."
222
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,517
I've put Kitty to sleep.
223
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:51,511
What does it matter, darling?
He doesn't vote, anyway.
224
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,916
No, no, it's my speech.
225
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,468
Let's go through it. Start at the beginning.
226
00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:01,476
-"My friends..."
-Hold it. That'II never go, dear.
227
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,798
-Get right to the issues.
-You're right.
228
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,353
"One of the major issues
of the day is peace."
229
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,034
Well, that's true, dear.
But everybody wants peace.
230
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,759
-Even Mr. Quimby.
-You're right.
231
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,672
"And now, to the matter of taxes.
232
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:21,389
"Shall we have high taxes?
Or shall we have Iow taxes?"
233
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,473
-Isn't that a dangerous position?
-You're right.
234
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,911
"Which brings us to the question
of education..."
235
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,992
-Nope, much too controversial.
-You're right.
236
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,398
"AIso the question of social welfare?"
237
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:45,518
"Now we come to the biggest,
the most burning issue of the day,
238
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,598
"the question of..."
239
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,158
-You make that out?
-"Question of swamps."
240
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,468
Oh, yes.
241
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,358
"As to the matter of swamps..."
242
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:05,195
Darling, the Iess said about that
the better.
243
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:09,190
Very clever, querida, very clever.
244
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,233
-"I thank you."
-Well...
245
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,435
I know what you're going to say.
246
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,750
After such an enlightening
and courageous speech,
247
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,400
I shouldn't thank them,
they should thank me.
248
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,152
I agree completely.
249
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:37,676
Now, you all know
what you're supposed to do?
250
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,796
Lurch, you hit
the swanky Oak Knoll section.
251
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,029
Roger.
252
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,677
-Mama?
-I get off in the business district.
253
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:48,389
You parade up and down the street with
your placard and you blow your bugle.
254
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,357
Uncle Fester, is your assignment clear?
255
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:54,035
I sing, Iight up and pass out $3 bills.
256
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,317
Remember, the secret word is "dignity."
257
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,794
AII right, Lurch, blast off.
258
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,635
Don't they make a fine-Iooking group?
259
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,756
Mr. Hilliard is as good as elected.
260
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:17,753
Oak Knoll is in the bag, huh?
Great, keep in touch.
261
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,308
Well, everything Iooks good so far.
262
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:21,994
Polls say you're a shoo-in.
263
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:24,469
I wouldn't be if I hadn't got rid
of that Addams family.
264
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,358
-PIease, Iet's not mention them again.
-You're right.
265
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,078
Now hop on down to the polls
and keep an eye on things.
266
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,229
Right.
267
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,959
-If anything goes wrong, call me.
-Right.
268
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,474
Boss? Bass. You better get over here
to the Fourth Ward.
269
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,357
The Addamses are Ioose.
270
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,912
ANNOUNCER: As I told you before,
ladies and gentlemen,
271
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,798
we're speaking to you from the busy
intersection ofBroadway and Main.
272
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:59,555
Well, I've seen election campaigns,
but this one beats them all.
273
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:00,795
Looks Iike we've done it.
274
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:04,156
Our on-the-spot broadcast today
features... Wait a minute.
275
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,754
There's candidate Sam Hilliard,
and he's chasing a campaign runner
276
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,910
down the street with a stick!
277
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:13,437
-Isn't that Uncle Fester?
-Uncle... Yes, he just Iit up!
278
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:18,115
I better return you to our studios KBHL.
I'm beginning to see things.
279
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,794
Thank you, Mel, and there you see...
280
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,874
Why would Mr. Hilliard
chase Uncle Fester with a stick?
281
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,475
Nonsense, dear. Didn't you hear
the reporter admit he was seeing things?
282
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:28,675
Of course.
283
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,672
Hilliard will probably be along any minute
to express his gratitude.
284
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,680
Boss, you can't go in there. It's suicide.
285
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,318
-That's my mood exactly.
-But...
286
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,994
I've got to get those Addamses
off the street or I'm sunk.
287
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,308
Well, I'm not going in.
288
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,358
That's the first intelligent thing
you've said in the entire campaign.
289
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,874
Get down to the polls
and see what's going on.
290
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,109
Right.
291
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,873
-Bass.
-Boss?
292
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,719
Call my mother
and tell her not to wait up for me.
293
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,028
Good idea.
294
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,676
-Hilliard, we've been expecting you.
-I should think so.
295
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,797
-I'II take your hat.
-No, no, no, I'm holding on to it this time.
296
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,199
Come on in.
297
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,875
-Mrs. Addams...
-PIease don't say it.
298
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,234
I will, too, say it!
299
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,517
Mr. Addams and I find expressions
of gratitude so embarrassing.
300
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:37,999
Expressions of gratitude?
301
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,718
Your election will be our reward.
302
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,075
I'm going to turn this whole thing over
to a Iawyer.
303
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:43,718
-A Iawyer?
-Yes.
304
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,315
My card.
305
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,831
Gomez is responsible
for putting more criminals behind bars
306
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,797
than any other man in the United States.
307
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,075
You, a prosecuting attorney?
308
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,477
Attorney for the defense.
309
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,156
Well, I don't need you for my Iawyer
310
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,674
and I don't need you
for my campaign manager.
311
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,035
You see, our man's a politician
of the old school.
312
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:07,113
Not only forgets his campaign promises,
he forgets his campaigners.
313
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,955
I knew we backed the right horse.
314
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:13,389
Excuse me.
315
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:18,439
Thank you, Thing. Addams here.
Yes, he's here too.
316
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:22,435
It's for you. Probably your opponent,
Quimby, conceding the election.
317
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,198
-Only a case of election day jitters.
-I hope so.
318
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,195
-Why don't you answer it?
-You answer it.
319
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:31,679
Of course, old boy.
320
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,150
Addams here. I'II take the message.
321
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,348
Oh, hello, Bass!
322
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,714
Really? Some of the first returns are in.
323
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:40,994
Oak Knoll, eh?
324
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,355
Good. I see. Good work, Bass.
325
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:46,919
-It's a Iandslide.
-For Hilliard?
326
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,991
For Quimby. 76 to nothing.
327
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,398
-I knew it, I knew it.
-Those early returns.
328
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,311
Of course, the Oak Knoll section,
upper class snobs,
329
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,038
always contrary to the main trend.
330
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,633
I'II get it.
331
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,232
Thank you, Thing.
332
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:05,189
Darling, you Iook a Iittle tired.
Why don't you just relax?
333
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,520
Hello. This is Mrs. Addams speaking.
334
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,793
Yes, he's here.
335
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,994
-It's for you again.
-I'm not going near that thing.
336
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:20,958
I'II take the message.
337
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,793
Oh hello, Mr. Bass. Really?
338
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:25,873
It's the 9th Precinct.
339
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,356
Well, that's much better.
340
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,714
Hilliard 6, Quimby 1 10.
341
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:36,034
-See? You're beginning to gain.
-I'm ruined. Ruined!
342
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,273
Come now, Mr. Hilliard,
that's the 9th Precinct.
343
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:42,158
Nothing but Iower class people.
That's not where your strength is.
344
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:45,590
If that's for me,
I don't wanna talk to anybody.
345
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,194
Addams here. Bass, what's the word?
346
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,913
Come, now, Bass,
you can think of another word.
347
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,115
I see.
348
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,878
Well, the middle class section
is the most important.
349
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,997
-Fine.
-AII right, Iet me have it.
350
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,753
-If I were you, I'd demand a recount.
-Oh, no.
351
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,796
Hilliard 5, Quimby 204.
352
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,632
Not bad, really. You only Iost one vote.
353
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,790
I'm sure there's been some fraud.
354
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,871
Yes, Bass admits it.
Too bad they caught him.
355
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,513
I'II get it.
356
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,271
Hello, Mrs. Addams speaking.
357
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:19,958
Yes, Mr. Quimby.
358
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:25,079
Mr. Hilliard's here. I'm afraid he can't
come to the phone right now.
359
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,516
What?
Mr. Quimby, I'm sure you're mistaken.
360
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,069
EIectronic computers do not vote.
361
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:33,833
Mr. Quimby is claiming victory.
362
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,990
-Wonderful.
-What's wonderful about it?
363
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:39,311
Can't you see, old man?
The trap. The Achilles' heel.
364
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,597
The Waterloo of every politician.
Overconfidence.
365
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,876
The poor dear.
366
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,236
The sweet smell of success
must have been too much for him.
367
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:04,318
I'm so glad you joined
the Zen-Yogi society, darling.
368
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,073
Right, querida.
369
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,071
After a strenuous campaign,
at Ieast you can relax.
370
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,953
Every man should Iearn to relax this way.
371
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:18,118
It's a wonderful gift.
372
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:22,955
-It says Mr. Hilliard is quitting politics.
-Really?
373
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,275
-Must be his health.
-Must be.
374
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:28,238
Because it says he's thinking
of Ieaving town, too.
375
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:32,230
As a matter of fact, it says he's thinking
of Ieaving the country.
376
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:35,471
Poor man, I was so sure he'd win.
377
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,233
I guess we got into the campaign too Iate.
378
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,234
Gomez, I'm afraid we failed.
379
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:48,909
Not according to Quimby. He says
if it wasn't for us, he wouldn't have won.
380
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,116
What a generous thing to say.
381
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,231
Why, thank you, Thing.
382
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,677
Maybe we should have gotten Thing
into the campaign.
383
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,518
No, I guess not.
384
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,708
Hello? This is Mrs. Addams speaking.
385
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,637
Why, hello, Mr. Hilliard.
386
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,752
Really? Isn't that nice.
387
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,675
Well, thank you. Goodbye.
388
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,555
That was that nice Mr. Hilliard.
He says he's glad he lost.
389
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:25,269
The Mayor appointed him head of the
School Board. It's a much better position.
390
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:27,749
In that case, I'm proud to have served.
391
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,073
Alley-oop! Oop!
392
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,591
-Where are you going, darling?
-To the playroom.
393
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,752
To add Mr. Hilliard
to our illustrious collection.