1 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,551 They're creepy and they're kooky 2 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,517 Mysterious and spooky 3 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,397 They're altogether ooky 4 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,357 The Addams family 5 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:26,237 The house is a museum 6 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:28,197 When people come to see 'em 7 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,032 They really are a scream 8 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,872 The Addams family 9 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,235 MAN: Neat. 10 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:35,915 Sweet. 11 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:39,635 Petite. 12 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,517 So get a witch 's shawl on 13 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,397 A broomstick you can crawl on 14 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,311 We're gonna pay a call on 15 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,039 The Addams family 16 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:06,397 I had no idea Cousin BIeak was such a difficult subject. 17 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,870 You're painting him from memory and it's a magnificent Iikeness. 18 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,834 -Superb! -Thank you, darling. 19 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:17,550 There's something about the eyes, I just can't seem to get them. 20 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,228 That Iid droops just a bit too much. 21 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,834 -The right eye or the Ieft? -The middle one. 22 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,155 Perfect. 23 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,836 That's the Iook that used to get the girls. 24 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:37,233 Darling, the children are going to be Iate for their birthday party. 25 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:38,958 Would you ring for Lurch? 26 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,795 -You rang? -Yes, Lurch. 27 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,990 Would you get the children, please? 28 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,071 WEDNESDAY: We're coming! PUGSLEY: We're coming! 29 00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:00,508 -Oh, what's that, darling? -Harold's birthday present. A tarantula. 30 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:03,994 Oh, dear Pugsley. He's so generous. 31 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,389 That old Addams tradition, a heart of gold. 32 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,472 Well, we'II have to have it gift-wrapped. Let's see now. 33 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,233 A birthday present. Festive occasion. 34 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,509 -I think black would be appropriate. -BIack it is, my dear. 35 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,510 Here, darling, Iet me do that. You're all thumbs. 36 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,597 Wouldn't that be interesting? 37 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,717 -Lurch, please take the children to the car. -LURCH: Yes, madam. 38 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,359 Where are they going? 39 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:33,389 Whee! 40 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,316 To the Pomeroy boy's birthday party. 41 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,790 You mean those people with the white picket fence 42 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,440 and the pink geraniums? How could you? 43 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:45,195 There's something to what he says, Morticia. They are a bit peculiar. 44 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,394 I bet they've got daisies in their backyard. 45 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:49,834 PIease don't make me ill. 46 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,832 Now, now, now. We must be tolerant of our neighbors. 47 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:58,479 Thank you, Thing. 48 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,792 There you are, Pugsley! 49 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,113 GOMEZ: Your mother is still the world's best tarantula wrapper. 50 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,670 Now remember, children, not every family is as fortunate as we are. 51 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,513 Not everyone has a beautiful old house Iike ours. 52 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,399 And a car with all the right sounds and smells. 53 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,550 You must be modest about our advantages. 54 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:25,234 -We'II be good. -I know you will, darling. 55 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,269 I'm sure Harold will Iove his present. 56 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,711 Bye, children! Have a good time. 57 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,991 Pugsley, only five pieces of cake, now! 58 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:52,511 Well, I guess I'd better go in and finish knitting my tea cozy. 59 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,515 Morticia, 60 00:03:58,360 --> 00:03:59,634 don't move. 61 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,912 Remember how I carried you across the threshold that first time? 62 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,911 Not only across the threshold, 63 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,356 but through the Iiving room and up the stairs and into our room. 64 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,750 And I dropped you only once. 65 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,119 I'II swear these fish seem to know when you're gonna feed them. 66 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,589 They're a Iot more aware than people give them credit for being. 67 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:30,999 That's breeding. 68 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,877 There's no waste with piranha. 69 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,474 Darling, I think the children are home. 70 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,154 I wonder what the children are doing back so soon? 71 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,389 I don't know. 72 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,680 Why are you home from the party so early? 73 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,035 GOMEZ: What happened? Was there trouble? 74 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:03,475 A small altercation. 75 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:08,276 Harold Pomeroy said his family was better than our family. 76 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,989 He said we were a bunch of kooks. 77 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,229 Kooks? 78 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,871 Oh, he couldn't have meant it. 79 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:21,236 Of course not, how could the child fail to recognize character when he sees it? 80 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,788 I told you the Pomeroys were no good. 81 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,599 With their neat Iittle petunia patches. Riffraff! 82 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:29,035 I tell you, they're nothing but riffraff. 83 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,993 Lurch, you better take the children to their rooms. 84 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,069 LURCH: Yes, madam. 85 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:37,472 I always did suspect those white plaster ducks out on the Iawn. 86 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,518 Darling, some people have a twisted sense of beauty. 87 00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:44,272 Rude behavior Iike that begins with the parents. 88 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,154 Well, what are you gonna do about it? Just stand there and take it? 89 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:50,755 Certainly not. I'm going to send Pomeroy an insulting Ietter. 90 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:57,070 Darling, I don't think we should Iend our name to such a thing. 91 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,311 He could sign it, "A friend." 92 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:03,998 An insulting Ietter signed, "A Friend." That would be novel. 93 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,557 I think we should turn the other cheek. 94 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,871 No, when people insulted me, I always turned the other cheek. 95 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,996 -Well? -I ran out of cheeks. 96 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,789 No, there's only one way to settle this. 97 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:17,069 Uncle Fester! 98 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,548 Uncle Fester, please, not that. 99 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:25,192 -But, Morticia, the family honor! -He's right, Morticia, the family honor. 100 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,075 You'II have to challenge Pomeroy to a duel. 101 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,116 No, I'd rather shoot him in the back. 102 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,351 Uncle Fester, that is not the honorable way. 103 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,397 I know, but it's the safe way. 104 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,312 Uncle Fester, I'm ashamed of you. 105 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,153 An Addams doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. 106 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,231 I do. I'II shoot him in the back. 107 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,239 Uncle Fester, remember the Addams name! 108 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:46,912 It'II have to be a duel. 109 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,195 With swords? 110 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:53,159 With victory going to the swiftest, the cunningest, the deadliest. 111 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,558 I'II shoot him in the back. 112 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:58,916 -Wait, how about pistols? -Well, that's different... 113 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,196 -Does he get one, too? -Naturally. 114 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,590 -Loaded? -You get one bullet apiece. 115 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:07,993 In the back. 116 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,198 We have visitors. 117 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,313 It's Mr. Pomeroy. Little Harold is with him. 118 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:18,071 -See? They've come to make peace. -I hope not. 119 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:24,150 I'II handle this. Remember, you took care of the gas inspector. 120 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,959 Darling, why don't we handle this together? 121 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:44,356 -A Pomeroy does not slam gates. -I didn't slam it, Dad. 122 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,989 -A Pomeroy does not Iie, either. -But, Dad... 123 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,399 Come along. 124 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,877 I'm Cecil B. Pomeroy. Perhaps you've heard of me. 125 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,029 I'm in oil. 126 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,913 Oh, boiling? 127 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,838 Lubricating. I wouldn't make Iight of this. 128 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:03,592 Look at my son Harold. 129 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,269 Fine-Iooking boy. Nice eyes. 130 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,437 Well, one of them, anyway. 131 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,637 And that's what your hoodlum offspring did with his fists. 132 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,757 Our son used his fists? 133 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,910 AII those karate Iessons wasted! 134 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,635 I'II thank you both to stop joking. 135 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:23,917 My son has been sorely wounded and I demand an apology. 136 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,629 Very well, Mr. Pomeroy. If it'II make you happy, I apologize. 137 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:31,157 Not from you. From that pugnacious child of yours. 138 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:32,879 -Him. -Children. 139 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:39,158 I understand, Pugsley, that you and Harold engaged in a Iittle tiff this afternoon. 140 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:42,949 -AII I did was tear his jacket a Iittle. -You tore my family crest. 141 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:45,031 Well, you wouldn't have got a sock in the eye 142 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,271 if you hadn't said your family was better than our family. 143 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,794 -Our family is better. -It is not. 144 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,151 Children, children. I think you ought to apologize to Harold. 145 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,712 I'm sorry I punched you in the eye, Harold. 146 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,999 She must have hit him while his back was turned. 147 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:07,509 In the eye? 148 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,714 I don't know, it's possible. Remember my Cousin Curdle? 149 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:16,916 Yes! Well, we're sorry about the whole mess, Pomeroy. 150 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,874 Yes, won't you come in and have a cup of tea? 151 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,838 And the children can play together and forget all about their Iittle spat. 152 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,558 -Well... -Do come in. 153 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,313 -I'II Iet you ride my jaguar. -Can I, Dad? 154 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,160 AII right, but stay in the yard. Don't go into the street. 155 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:33,073 Oh, we never run the jaguar out in the street. 156 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,513 Come on, Harold. 157 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,753 I'm so glad we got this thing straightened out. 158 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,748 Yes, we're not only neighbors 159 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:49,150 but I find we have some adjoining Iand along the county Iine. 160 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,599 You got stuck, too! 161 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:56,233 Yes. That doesn't happen to the Pomeroys usually. 162 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,311 It's one of the things we're proud of. 163 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:02,598 Matter of fact, we asked Professor Simms to trace our family genealogy back to... 164 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:08,118 -Merciful heavens! What was that? -Pugsley's jaguar. 165 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,428 Pugsley's... 166 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,712 You mean that your child is having my son ride a wild animal? 167 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:17,191 Don't worry, when Fang makes that noise, nobody rides him. 168 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,794 There, you see? They've already found something else to amuse them. 169 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,440 Nothing Iike the Iaughter of happy children, is there, Pomeroy? 170 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,751 Well, my son has Iittle time for frivolity. 171 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,469 After all, he's being trained to follow in the family... 172 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,149 Excuse me. 173 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:38,715 Is that thing real? 174 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,598 Everything in our home is real, Mr. Pomeroy. 175 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:42,749 Taste! 176 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:46,474 There's quite a story behind that trophy, Pomeroy. 177 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,630 Cousin Farouk was a skin-diver. 178 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:53,631 He dived out of a rowboat in an attempt to spear a rare species of eel. 179 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:59,832 At the same moment a big fish swept up from the depths, also after the eel. 180 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:04,195 -They were on a collision course. -The rest is taxidermy. 181 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,078 HAROLD: I did it! I did it! 182 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:12,948 Little Pugsley is teaching Harold how to handle dynamite caps. 183 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:14,309 Dynamite? 184 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:16,919 There, you see? 185 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,878 Their Iittle spat of this afternoon is all forgotten. 186 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,554 We adults could Iearn a Iot from our children, eh, Pomeroy? 187 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,870 -More tea, Mr. Pomeroy? -No, thanks. 188 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:27,789 That thing bit me! 189 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,075 I'm sure you're mistaken, Mr. Pomeroy. 190 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,073 Our birds would never attack Iiving things. 191 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,748 Children, stop playing with that trap door. Uncle Fester just greased it. 192 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:42,719 Your trap door? 193 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,077 -In the playroom, for our gallows. -It's a family heirloom. 194 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,033 -PUGSLEY: We're sorry, Harold! -Don't be mad, Harold. 195 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,350 We're sorry we dropped him through the trap door. 196 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,032 Addams, what the devil have they been doing? 197 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,678 Can't you see? PIaying! 198 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:57,668 POMEROY: Harold! 199 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:01,070 Addams, I never wanna see these two Iittle creeps in my home again. 200 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:05,756 And I promise you that never again will I set foot in this menagerie. 201 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,752 In that case, sir, I'II have to ask you to Ieave. 202 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,195 Ask me? I can hardly wait to get out of... 203 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,555 Lurch, show Mr. Pomeroy out. 204 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,679 Addamses, you are kooks. 205 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,716 Calling our children creeps. 206 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,759 Bawling off about his ancestry, his professor, his genealogist. 207 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:46,230 I could have really have stopped him with a few things about the Addams ancestry! 208 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,880 -Why didn't you? -I couldn't think of anything. 209 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:53,072 You're right. You're right, I should have told him. 210 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:56,948 But it's been so Iong since I've Iooked into the family records. 211 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,554 Anybody can tell what kind of a family we are. 212 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:02,753 But to him, we're peasants. We need proof. 213 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:07,750 Proof! And I'II ram it down Mr. BIowhard's throat. 214 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,949 I'II get you your proof, darling. I'm going to call in a genealogist. 215 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:18,392 -We'II get his Professor Simms. -He can trace our family tree. 216 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:24,155 Trace it? I know where it is. Uncle Fester sits in it every day. 217 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,434 The mail's in. 218 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,319 Thank you, Thing. 219 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,873 -It's for you, Mommy. -Thank you, darling. 220 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,320 Oh, isn't that sweet? 221 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,719 It's from Professor Simms, the genealogist. 222 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:23,033 He says, "Working on a family tree Iike yours should be a real challenge." 223 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:27,077 We better get all the Addams family heirlooms and records together. 224 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,038 My dear, I've already dug up a Iot of material. 225 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,759 Isn't that beautiful? 226 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:37,475 -Oh, the old Addams barn. -Darling, that's Aunt BIemish. 227 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:39,988 Are you sure? 228 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,073 You maybe right. 229 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,157 -Oh, I don't recognize those two at all. -That's only one. 230 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,518 Of course, Grandpa SIurp. 231 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,352 I should have known him by his buck teeth. 232 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,112 And receding chin. 233 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,912 He was a handsome devil. 234 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,318 Remember this picture? 235 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,158 -Cousin CIot! -Just before they threw the switch. 236 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,358 My, he was photogenic. 237 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:14,113 I'II never forget the day the judge imposed sentence. 238 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:18,955 CIotty stood there, head high, shoulders back, and said, 239 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:20,959 "It's a bum rap." 240 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:22,919 An Addams to the end. 241 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,709 Darling, we better get these things ready. 242 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:31,669 That does it. 243 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,990 I doubt that I could have made one more trip to the attic. 244 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:37,356 I hope the genealogist's got enough material to work with. 245 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:41,069 You know, I think we should use more of these Iovely things in the Iiving room. 246 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,118 I didn't know Granduncle Grisly was a traitor. 247 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,272 Oh, yes! But he only did it for money. 248 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,191 Is Professor Simms still working in the Iibrary? 249 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,430 Yes, darling. I think you better take these things in to him. 250 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,351 I'II get the doorbell, Lurch. 251 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:10,435 -I came to return this gift. -Is there something wrong with it? 252 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,069 I don't know. 253 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,196 Weren't you surprised when you opened it? 254 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,157 I sure was. It was empty. 255 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,594 Pugsley? 256 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,676 Your birthday present escaped. 257 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,630 Better Iet Harold pick out something else. 258 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,996 Okay. Come on up to my room, Harold, and pick out what you want. 259 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,752 I'm not supposed to stay. 260 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,155 A call for Master Pomeroy. 261 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:38,673 Come along, children. 262 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:47,274 -Hello? -Did you return the present? 263 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,999 Yes, and I'm getting out of here as fast as I can. 264 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,197 No, no! Tell them it was all a mistake. 265 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,952 A horrible mistake. 266 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,509 Yes. Act nice and friendly. 267 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,713 Yes, friendly. 268 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,756 They have some Iand next to mine and my man thinks there's oil on it. 269 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:09,150 Just act nice and friendly and I'II be over there soon. 270 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:23,109 My dad said it was all a horrible mistake. I'm to be nice and friendly. 271 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,679 Oh, that's Iovely. 272 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,269 Pugsley, you must Iet Harold play with your octopus. 273 00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:28,873 Not that friendly. 274 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,951 Oh, don't be a sissy. 275 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,392 Well, all right. 276 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:36,279 I'II even show you how to juggle meat cleavers. 277 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:39,591 Morticia, Professor Simms feels he's on the trail of something. 278 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,148 Oh, I do hope it's something gloomy. 279 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,591 For a moment I thought there might be some relationship 280 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,672 to the New England Adamses, John and John Quincy. 281 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,034 People often assume that. 282 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:54,872 It's been a great source of embarrassment to us. 283 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,474 We spell our name with two "D's". 284 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,516 The additional "D" makes the difference. 285 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,909 Good heavens! Do you suppose that's the reason 286 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,878 Mr. Pomeroy thought there was something wrong with us? 287 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,553 -Professor, is something wrong? -Oh, no. 288 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:12,713 No, no, that is... Well, things do seem a bit off. 289 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,918 I've traced Mrs. Addams back to the early colonial days 290 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,197 at Salem, Massachusetts. Interesting place, Salem. 291 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,513 -They burned witches there, you know. -Yes. 292 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,508 I'm certainly glad they don't do that today. 293 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,117 And I found a family of Addamses Iiving in a native village 294 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,475 far up the Amazon river, deep in the jungle. 295 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,279 But the head of the family seems to have disappeared. 296 00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:37,999 Completely? Usually they just shrink them. 297 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:40,359 Yes. 298 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:46,555 And I've established that one ancestor back in 270 A.D. 299 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:51,072 used this torch to set fire to the Iibrary at AIexandria, Egypt. 300 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,948 Mamoud Khali Pasha Addams, the firebug of the Bosporus. 301 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,631 We should tell Mr. Pomeroy about him. 302 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:01,395 Oh, the Pomeroy background has quite a few unusual characters, too. 303 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:02,515 Really? 304 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,637 But I do think that professional ethics forbids me discussing it. 305 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:06,948 Of course. 306 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,913 Otherwise I would tell you of Pegleg Pomeroy, 307 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,353 the scourge of Denver, 308 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,510 Erwin Pomeroy, the hanging judge, 309 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:17,513 and Haversham Pomeroy, the BIuebeard of Boston. 310 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:23,314 Well, what do you know? It's quite an impressive background. 311 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,310 I don't blame him for feeling superior. 312 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,996 Darling, sometimes you can just misjudge people. 313 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,513 Pomeroy, come in. 314 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,674 -PIease have a cigar. -Oh, no, thank you. 315 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,071 Mr. Pomeroy. 316 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,435 You know, I believe I owe you both an apology. 317 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,556 Not at all, it's we who owe you an apology. 318 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:56,997 And I can understand your pride after Iearning about your family background. 319 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,995 -Lovely rug. -Thank you. 320 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:05,436 -Do sit down. -Thank you, thank you. Delighted. 321 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,637 The children are upstairs playing with Iittle Pugsley's octopus. 322 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,188 -Live, of course. -How did you know? 323 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,278 Every young boy should have a Iive octopus. 324 00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:21,555 We do think alike, don't we? 325 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,677 True, true. And as a Iittle peace offering, 326 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,797 I'd Iike to take that awful acreage that we both got stuck with 327 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:28,915 off your hands. 328 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,798 Same price you paid for it, of course. $1,000 an acre. 329 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,634 Let's not talk about business. Let's talk about our illustrious families. 330 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,359 Why didn't you tell us about Pegleg Pomeroy? 331 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:40,754 I beg your pardon? 332 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,354 Oh, come, Mr. Pomeroy, we know all about him. 333 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,194 Quite a streak of skullduggery in the Pomeroy Iine, isn't there? 334 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,269 Well, I... 335 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,510 And don't tell us you're going to deny knowing anything 336 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,238 about Grapeshot Pomeroy. 337 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,754 -Pomeroy is a very common name. -Isn't he the modest one? 338 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,308 I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. 339 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,436 Aren't you proud of being descended from a pirate? 340 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:05,069 -I'II pay you $2,000 an acre. -Isn't he generous? 341 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,789 BIuebeard Pomeroy would be proud of him. 342 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:09,712 BIuebeard... 343 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,993 -$3,000 an acre. -Well, if you insist. 344 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:17,793 My check will be here first thing in the morning. 345 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,755 -You come back, paleface. -Oh, isn't that sweet. 346 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,190 Get me away from these barbarians. 347 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,431 He's had a tiring day. 348 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,589 Harold, the Addams family is every bit as good as ours. 349 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,399 Well, BIack Bart and BIoody Addams, true. 350 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,392 -You see? -Now say goodbye to your Iittle friend. 351 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,911 -Bye. -Goodbye, Harold. 352 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,752 -Goodbye, Mr. Pomeroy. -Goodbye. 353 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,957 Harold, you forgot to say goodbye to Kitty. 354 00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:49,189 No! 355 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,431 Now, Harold, we must say goodbye to Kitty. 356 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,111 Here, Kitty. Here, Kitty. 357 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,831 What happened to the Pomeroys? 358 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,153 These businessmen. AIways in such a hurry. 359 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,673 Really nice of Pomeroy to take all that worthless Iand off our hands. 360 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,115 How do you know it's worthless, darling? 361 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,750 Well, one thing's certain, there's no oil on it. 362 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,910 It's been checked and rechecked. 363 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,958 Guess he just wanted to apologize for calling us kooks. 364 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,195 Thank you. 365 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,593 Right in the heart! 366 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,351 Morticia, your aim is perfect. 367 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:20,270 So female. So deadly. So Iovely. 368 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,792 Darling, where's Professor Simms? 369 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:30,554 Do you think? 370 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,632 No, Kitty can't stand the taste of people.