1 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,596 They're creepy and they're kooky 2 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,511 Mysterious and spooky 3 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,397 They're altogether ooky 4 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,311 The Addams family 5 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,231 The house is a museum 6 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:28,197 When people come to see 'em 7 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,077 They really are a scream 8 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:31,832 The Addams family 9 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,069 MAN: Neat. 10 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:35,789 Sweet. 11 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:39,589 Petite. 12 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,477 So get a witch 's shawl on 13 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,391 A broomstick you can crawl on 14 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,277 We're gonna pay a call on 15 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,033 The Addams family 16 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,797 -GOM EZ: Caught in the act. -Gomez, darling, you startled me. 17 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,752 What a thing for a husband to see. 18 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,956 On the day when an old suitor is coming to visit, 19 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,918 he finds his wife striving to make herself even more beautiful. 20 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:25,551 Darling, Lionel Barker was not an old suitor. He's just a childhood friend. 21 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,993 Yet when you got his Ietter, your eyes Iit up Iike candles in a cave. 22 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,550 You need be jealous of no one. 23 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:36,394 I've been yours since that first day you carved my initials in your Ieg. 24 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:41,311 And I have been yours since the day I first saw you riding sidesaddle on a buffalo. 25 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:43,114 querido. 26 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:46,154 querida. 27 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:50,191 Then you don't mind that I plan to ask Lionel to be our houseguest? 28 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,078 Not at all. I want him to see what a Iovely home we have. 29 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,991 Would you Iike to see what I've done with the guest room? 30 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,799 Delighted. Though it may give me a twinge. 31 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,198 -Charming, absolutely charming. -I knew you'd be pleased. 32 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,352 How did you ever think of all these homey Iittle touches? 33 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:14,793 Just a knack. 34 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,951 Will you Iook at that? 35 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:31,152 -This mattress, it's harder than ours. -No mattress, silly. 36 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:35,992 -Natural wood. Knotty pine. -Superb. 37 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,956 Do you really think Lionel will Iike it? 38 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:41,873 If he's a man of taste, and I'm sure he is. 39 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:53,152 Look, Lionel, you think it's worth it? Going into that creep joint, I mean. 40 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:57,115 As I remember this Morticia dame, she's even spookier than this house. 41 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:01,239 I know they got dough, Iots of it, and we need some now. 42 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,952 What're you gonna give them? That uranium stock spiel? 43 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,357 I have a feeling they're more the phony oil stock type. 44 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,991 Now, wait here and keep your fingers crossed, Charlie. 45 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,438 -Yes? -I... 46 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,118 Mrs. Addams is expecting me. I'm Lionel Barker. 47 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:44,119 Follow me. 48 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,235 -You're the butler? -Lurch, sir. 49 00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,349 Lurch. 50 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:01,914 Pardon me. 51 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,951 -Lionel? -Morticia! 52 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:08,234 -Lionel, how good to see you. -You haven't changed a bit. 53 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:12,313 -Except that she's married now. -This is my husband, Gomez Addams. 54 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,078 -Lionel Barker. -You certainly married 55 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,991 a wonderful girl, Mr. Addams. 56 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,753 Yes, a man so seldom gets the wife he deserves. 57 00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:21,479 Yeah, yeah. It's quite a place you have here. 58 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,552 As Iong as you're in town, it's your home. 59 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:27,428 -Oh, no, really, I couldn't. -We insist. We'll send for your bags. 60 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:30,592 They're right outside. I happened to bring them with me. 61 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:32,955 How fortunate. Darling. 62 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,354 You rang? 63 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:46,152 Lurch, Mr. Barker's bags are outside. PIease take them to the guest room. 64 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,351 Perhaps our Mr. Barker would Iike to join us in a cup of tea. 65 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:51,873 That would be marvelous. 66 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,714 And we can chat about those glorious, gloomy days of our youth. 67 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,513 -Those were the fun days. -Yes. 68 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,800 Do you remember the first time we met? 69 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,917 I was in the garden, playing with Hubert and Henery. 70 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,468 And you strolled by, and I asked you in. 71 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,994 And I said I'd come in if you got rid of Hubert and Henery. 72 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,877 MORTICIA: I never understood why. 73 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,349 -They were such adorable vultures. -Just not my type, I guess. 74 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,829 Darling, I'm afraid we're Ieaving you out of the conversation. 75 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,912 You know how it is when old friends get together. 76 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,269 Excuse me, I have an urgent call to make. 77 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,555 Must you, dear? We'll miss you. 78 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,351 Mr. Barker will be able to amuse you while I'm gone. 79 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,519 -Hope I didn't upset him. -Gomez? 80 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,631 Dear Gomez. There's not a jealous bone in his body. 81 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,752 "You know how it is when old friends get together." 82 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:02,069 Wonderful, wonderful. Says we're gonna have a big storm tomorrow. 83 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,475 Uncle Fester, I'm baring my soul to you, and you just stand there 84 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,154 casually reading your newspaper, and Iast year's. 85 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,035 I've been trying to catch up on my reading. 86 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,032 This is the first quiet moment I've spent in this thing in days. 87 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,792 Mama practically Iives in it. 88 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,996 You know something? She's getting selfish in her old age. 89 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,753 Fester, what am I going to do about Lionel? 90 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,393 Who's Lionel? 91 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,673 Lionel? 92 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:34,398 I really had a case on you in those days. Even wrote a poem about you. 93 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,552 Yes, a very romantic one, if I remember correctly. 94 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,151 I've kept it with all my other treasures, down in the basement. 95 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,516 -Pretty silly stuff, really. -I don't think so at all. 96 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,194 How did it go again? 97 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:49,033 LIONEL: "Morticia, you are the only one for me. 98 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:53,077 "I know I shall always want you for my very own." 99 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:01,513 Can it be true, Uncle Fester? Can she actually be smitten with this Lionel? 100 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,556 -Who's Lionel? -Fester. 101 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,669 Oh, that Lionel. Must be. Just going off riding with him. 102 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,671 I engineered that so we could talk. 103 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:14,151 Well, still, forgetting to feed her plants. Poor things, they're nearly starved. 104 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,435 They won't even Iet me feed them. 105 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,113 A hideous how do you do. 106 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,589 -Why don't you throw him out? -I couldn't. 107 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,399 She would have thought that I was jealous. 108 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,398 -Are you? -Of course. 109 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:30,508 It's gnawing at my insides, Iike a tiger gnawing at an antelope. 110 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,677 I wish it would stop. I'm beginning to enjoy it. 111 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,399 Well, you gotta get rid of him somehow. 112 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,199 I have a plan. 113 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,794 We'll make it so uncomfortable for him that he'll want to Ieave. 114 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,189 -I'll need your help. -You can count on me. 115 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:49,272 -First, we rearrange his room. -Brilliant! 116 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,000 Well, no use Ietting this go to waste. 117 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,669 Why doesn't she cook this for us? 118 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,231 It's horrible, Gomez. Just horrible. 119 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:09,074 -Yes, we've done a magnificent job. -It's more than any man could stand. 120 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:13,713 Lionel is going to run screaming into the night. Feel this mattress. 121 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:15,355 Eugh. 122 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:16,714 Listen to this. 123 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,635 Just Iisten to that awful bird. 124 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,916 I can't stand it. Let's get out of here. 125 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,959 I can't wait till tomorrow morning at breakfast, just Morticia and me. 126 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,479 No Lionel. 127 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:34,473 That's the best breakfast I've had in days. 128 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,950 Gomez, darling, you haven't touched yours. 129 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,749 -I've Iost my appetite. -I must say, you folks are wonderful hosts. 130 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,913 That room. That beautiful, soft, downy bed. 131 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:49,273 And that gorgeous canary singing me to sleep. And those carnations. 132 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,759 In your room? 133 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,796 -You really Iiked them? -Loved them. 134 00:08:56,760 --> 00:09:00,070 Well, I must call my business associate. Excuse me. 135 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:04,392 By the way, I dabble in stocks 136 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,472 and I might be able to put you onto something good. 137 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,160 We'll discuss it a Iittle Iater, okay? 138 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:16,676 Gomez, I don't see how you could have done such a terrible thing to our guest. 139 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,356 -Yes, I do. You're jealous. -Me? 140 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:22,909 Jealous? 141 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,552 That's Iaughable. 142 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:34,078 No, no, Charlie. I'm not stalling. I gotta give the guy the buildup. 143 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,188 Just sit tight and pretty soon we'll split a bundle. 144 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:38,679 Yeah, bye-bye. 145 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:48,156 You know, when I'm through here, Gomez, you ought to stretch out for a while. 146 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,435 -Wonderful picker-upper. -I don't have time. 147 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:53,876 We must concoct another scheme to break up this romance. 148 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,752 I have it. A diversionary tactic. Another woman. 149 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,993 Oh, that's good. You mean to come between him and Morticia, huh? 150 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:05,153 Right. A seductive creature with an irresistible allure. 151 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,676 Now, where can we find one? 152 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,395 How about Grandmama? You know, the merry widow. 153 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:22,671 No, Grandmama prefers taller men. But she is the type we want. 154 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,674 Maybe we could get my old sweetheart, Queenie. 155 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:30,119 No, she'd never Ieave the circus. Those bearded Iadies make a fortune. 156 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,356 If only he hadn't seen Lurch. 157 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,359 You know, he'd be ideal in a wig and a dress. 158 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,238 If only Lurch were a maid instead of a butler. 159 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,829 That's it. A maid. 160 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,034 I'll hire a maid from an employment agency. 161 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,759 I'll insist on one who is interested in getting married. 162 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:49,989 Good. 163 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,597 Right this way, Miss... What is your name? 164 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,079 Mildred, sir. 165 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:07,558 -Gee, this place is sort of spooky. -Thank you. 166 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:11,197 -Now, about your duties... -Oh, no. I'm not staying. 167 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,718 -I think I can change your mind, miss. -You don't have that much money. 168 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,791 But I do have a houseguest. 169 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,429 A dashing young bachelor who would find you most attractive. 170 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,793 A man, sir? 171 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,800 The kind who needs a wife. In fact, he is seeking one desperately, 172 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,552 and it could be you. 173 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:33,120 Well, this isn't such a bad place after all. 174 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,150 Your room is right in there. 175 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,797 Well, Uncle Fester, it Iooks Iike we have a winner. 176 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,199 A knockout. 177 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,474 Those tiny eyes shining through her glasses. 178 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:53,154 And did you notice the way her knees knock together? 179 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,879 Uncle Fester, at your age. 180 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,189 I've still got an eye for beauty. 181 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,034 By tomorrow, Lionel will be her slave. 182 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,959 -Is there anything I could bring you, sir? -No, no. 183 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:14,591 -Tea or coffee? Milk? Vegetable juice? -No, no, no and no. 184 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,079 What's the matter with you, anyway? 185 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,116 You followed me all over the place Iast night. 186 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,397 When I turned in, I Iooked under the bed to make sure you weren't there. 187 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,552 -Now there you go again. -She's not making much progress. 188 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:25,789 Too shy. 189 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,391 I'll Iight it for you, sir. 190 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:36,713 That does it. 191 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,157 This girl needs instruction in the art of Iove from an expert. 192 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:43,355 You? 193 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,712 In my younger days, I had women eating out of my hand. 194 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,552 A bit messy, wasn't it? 195 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,715 You're simply too timid. You've got to move in on him. 196 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,597 -You mean chase him? -I mean catch him. 197 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:57,309 Grab him in your arms, Iike this. And pour out your heart. 198 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:02,274 No Ionger can I hide my feelings, my Iove. Give me your Iips. 199 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,076 There, have you got it now? 200 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:17,910 Where is Lionel? Which way did he go? Never mind. I'll find him. 201 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,039 Thank you, Thing. 202 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,472 I'm sorry to make a spectacle of myself, Thing. 203 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,233 But my world has come down around my ears. 204 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,797 There's another woman. 205 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,431 No, it's true, there is. 206 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:51,276 I know you can be blase about it. You've never been married. 207 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:53,239 Or have you? 208 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,719 I thought not. 209 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,911 Thing, what am I gonna do? 210 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,277 No, no. No violence. 211 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,954 Not even hair-pulling. 212 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,758 Nor eye-scratching. 213 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,798 Thank you, anyway, Thing. 214 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,155 Thing? 215 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:24,593 Wish me Iuck. 216 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,518 Thank you, Thing. 217 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,752 You're a true friend. 218 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,669 I didn't know you were out here, Morticia. 219 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:41,151 Uncle Fester, I know why Gomez brought that woman into this house. 220 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:44,994 Oh, you do, huh? Well, so do I, and I think it's a fine idea. 221 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:48,152 A fine idea? No, no. CIeopatra, no. 222 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,759 I will not condone violence. Down, girl. 223 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:57,309 I think I'll go upstairs to my room and Iie down for a while. 224 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,710 I'm going up the back stairs. 225 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,233 You see? Everything worked out fine, smarty. 226 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,751 You hit me in the nose. 227 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:24,190 Well, well, well. Checking your stocks, I see. How're they going? 228 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,713 Up, naturally. 229 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:29,875 You know, you folks have been wonderful to me, Gomez. 230 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:33,318 In fact, I'm very fond of the whole family. 231 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:37,831 -Especially Morticia, hmm? -I've always had a warm spot for her. 232 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,432 What I started to say was, I'm going to do you a big favor. 233 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,832 You see, a pal of mine is the president of the South Tasmanian Oil Corporation... 234 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,150 If your pal put your money into South Tasmanian Oil, 235 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,629 you ought to have him boiled in it. 236 00:15:56,400 --> 00:16:00,757 The market is bullish today, Lionel. I mean, Mr. Barker. 237 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:04,508 Bullish? 238 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,909 You mean, you really dig this jazz? 239 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,959 Well, I've always put my money into stocks. 240 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,114 Let's not talk about stocks, Mildred. 241 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,870 Let's talk about you. 242 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,556 -Me? -Come. 243 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:27,036 Let me gaze into your big, beautiful, blue chip... Eyes. 244 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,518 Is something wrong? 245 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,348 Tell me. 246 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,319 I think you know what's darkened our Iives. 247 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,512 Yes, I fear I do. 248 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:42,074 The hands that should caress my Ioving feet now caress the dragon. 249 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,038 But who are you caressing in your mind? Not me. 250 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:49,910 Gomez, please Ieave me. I can't talk now. I must think. 251 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:57,876 Very well. If that's what you want, I'll go. I, too, must think. 252 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:08,274 There is no Ionger any doubt about it. She's in Iove with Lionel. 253 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:12,155 -Well, what are you going to do? -The only decent thing I can do. 254 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:16,199 Leave this Iife, and Iet Morticia marry the man she Ioves. 255 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,272 -You mean you're going to kill yourself? -Of course not. 256 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:23,428 Suicide is the coward's way out. I'm going to Iet you kill me. 257 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:28,149 Me? You're my favorite nephew, Gomez. 258 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,114 You've been nice to me. I Iike you. 259 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,913 AII I ask is one small favor. Shoot me. 260 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,279 Well, if I refuse, I'd be an ingrate. 261 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:45,236 -AII right, stand over by the wall. -Thank you, Uncle Fester. 262 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:46,992 You're a true friend. 263 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:54,835 Ready. 264 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,151 Aim. Fire. 265 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,195 I would Iike to be shot, Uncle Fester, not drowned. 266 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,151 I'm sorry, this must be one of the children's guns. 267 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:25,832 -But I'll do better next time. -You must. It's the only bullet we have. 268 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:29,998 Now, close your eyes. 269 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,271 Lurch, I hope you're a better hangman than Uncle Fester was a marksman. 270 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,631 It's my rope, isn't it, Gomez? I furnished the rope. 271 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,717 That's a bit scratchy. 272 00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,235 Better, sir? 273 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,153 That's fine. Thank you, Lurch. Very comfortable. 274 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,869 Would you throw the other end of the rope up over the rafter? 275 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,070 No, no, wait a minute. It's my rope. I can... 276 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,913 AII I have to do is just throw it up over this rafter Iike this. 277 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,629 What's the matter with that thing? 278 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:44,359 Uncle Fester, do you recall where you got that rope years ago? 279 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,149 Sure, don't you remember? I got it from an old friend of mine, 280 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,470 Raj Maja, the Indian fakir. 281 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,435 Yeah, he used to throw it up in the air, then he'd climb... 282 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,191 Still works, doesn't it? 283 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,151 It's no use, Lurch. Apparently, I am doomed to Iive. 284 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,073 Sorry, sir. 285 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,748 You rang? 286 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,992 Gad, she's Iovely. How could I Iive without her? 287 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,479 Yet I must. 288 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,358 -Morticia, I must speak to you. -And I to you. 289 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,471 Gomez, we've had a Iong and happy marriage. 290 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:51,119 Yes, we have, indeed. Our Iife together has been filled with joy. 291 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:52,759 Until now. 292 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:57,195 I've heard of other marriages, where someone new has come along... 293 00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,032 And Iove grew cold. 294 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,638 And husband and wife have come to the parting of the ways. 295 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,599 We have come to the parting of the ways, Gomez. Our hour has struck. 296 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,510 We've gotta do something, Lurch. 297 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,956 Soothing music? 298 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,998 To the harpsichord. 299 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,391 -What will be, will be. I have no regrets. -Nor do I. 300 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:38,153 -AII I want is your happiness. -My only wish is to make you happy. 301 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:46,189 Now that you're in Iove with someone else, I'll step aside. 302 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:50,270 Though my heart is breaking, I'll freely give you up, 303 00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,669 -so you can go away with Mildred. -So you can go away with Lionel. 304 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:55,715 -Mildred? -Lionel? 305 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,358 Somebody call us? 306 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,719 I don't want Mildred. 307 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,837 -I thought you were in Iove... -With Lionel? Me? 308 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,275 -querido. -querida. 309 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,592 We just dropped in to give you the good news. 310 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,796 We're off on our honeymoon. 311 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:14,871 -Honeymoon? -You're married? 312 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,269 About an hour ago. At City Hall. 313 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,556 -Congratulations. -That's wonderful. 314 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,312 Well, Iet's go, baby. 315 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,949 -Gomez, I'm so happy for them. -I'm even happier for us. 316 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,032 If I wasn't such a rotten shot, you wouldn't be here, would you? 317 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:29,394 What's this? 318 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,153 I nearly did an impulsive thing, my dear. 319 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:35,073 But my guardian spirit was Iooking after me. 320 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:40,955 -Somebody down there Iikes me. -Somebody up here Iikes you, too, 321 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,909 bubele. 322 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:57,715 There. 323 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,790 "When the blazing sun has turned to mud 324 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,632 "and the moon Iies dead in a pool of blood, 325 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,631 "and the tom-tom beat of eternity starts, 326 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,472 "whom will I Iove in my heart of hearts? 327 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:08,834 "Morticia." 328 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,191 Gomez, that's beautiful. 329 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,310 And it's such a perfect night for poetry. 330 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:18,958 I just wanted to show you that 331 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,156 Lionel's not the only one who can write poetry for you. 332 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:22,275 Oh, Lionel. 333 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:24,510 He couldn't hold a candle to you. 334 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,551 Perhaps we should Iet him try it sometime. 335 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,915 Might be a fascinating experience. 336 00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:32,873 -No, he'll be too busy for that. -Oh? 337 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,513 Working night and day, poor chap. 338 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,830 Those stocks his wife owns, down to nothing. 339 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:38,478 Really? 340 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:42,348 Well, things Iike that don't matter, not when you marry for Iove.