1 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,397 They're creepy and they're kooky 2 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:20,311 Mysterious and spooky 3 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,231 They're altogether ooky 4 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:24,151 The Addams family 5 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:26,117 The house is a museum 6 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,997 When people come to see 'em 7 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:29,991 They really are a scream 8 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:31,718 The Addams family 9 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,512 MAN: Neat. 10 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,318 Sweet. 11 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:39,514 Petite. 12 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,352 So get a witch 's shawl on 13 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,237 A broomstick you can crawl on 14 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,151 We're gonna pay a call on 15 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:47,879 The Addams family 16 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,510 How exciting. Look at them go! 17 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,352 This is going to be the greatest train wreck in railroad history. 18 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,193 I'm gonna switch them onto the same track. Watch! 19 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,719 Wonderful. 20 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,629 Darling, you have such a way with trains. 21 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,909 -I suppose so. -Weren't you happy with it? 22 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,828 I thought it was your finest wreck. 23 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,388 Perhaps it was. But I've just realized, 24 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:55,199 if you wreck one train, you wreck them all. 25 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,919 Sometimes I almost wish they'd miss each other. 26 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,195 Gomez, what a shocking thought. 27 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,669 Maybe we've just gotten into a rut. 28 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:09,389 We do seem to be doing the same things over and over again. 29 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:13,678 -Our morning stroll through the swamp. -Fencing across the lunch table. 30 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:23,318 Darling, why don't you come and have a nice hot cup of henbane? 31 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:25,391 It'll soothe your nerves. 32 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:37,519 MORTlClA: Thank you, Thing. 33 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:41,919 -Darling. -Thank you. 34 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,678 Darling, maybe we should take a trip somewhere. 35 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:51,790 Tombstone or Death Valley. Some fun place. 36 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,474 Perhaps. 37 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,191 Good morning, darling. 38 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:59,794 Would you like a bite? Chew your food. 39 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,800 No, no. Cleopatra, you'll spoil your lunch. 40 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,069 Darling, maybe we should have some people in. 41 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:14,199 That nice Mr. Harris. He always seemed to enjoy himself here. 42 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,630 That would be pleasant, but I'm afraid Mr. Harris 43 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,996 won't have the time for us any longer. Did you see the paper this morning? 44 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,877 No, darling, I haven't read the paper yet. 45 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,837 He has a new job working for the government. 46 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:29,438 "Foreign diplomats visiting our city. Roger L. Harris to conduct tour for VlPs." 47 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:31,992 There's a picture. 48 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,756 MORTlClA: They certainly seem to be enjoying the tour. 49 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:44,193 Well, I hope you'll enjoy the places we're going to see today, gentlemen. 50 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,477 We will not enjoy. 51 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:51,519 Frankly, Washington is quite upset about your lack of enthusiasm so far. 52 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,589 So? 53 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,390 They seem to blame me for it. 54 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,472 If I fail to give you a good impression of our country, well... 55 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,551 Oh, it'll mean the axe for me. 56 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,349 -Miri Haan, take note. -Note I take. 57 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:07,479 If guide fails assignment, Washington masters will chop off head. 58 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:08,549 Naturally. 59 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,837 No, I don't mean they'll chop my head off. I mean they'll fire me. 60 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,718 -And then set fire to him. -Destroy evidence. 61 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,917 Gentlemen, look, you take our language too literally. 62 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,755 For two days now your Washington masters have shown us phony tour. 63 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,717 They only show us what they want us to see. 64 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,712 You do not show us the real America. 65 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:32,150 The downtrodden masses slaving under bureaucratic whip. 66 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:34,276 We want to see the people. The real peoples! 67 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:35,395 Peoples. 68 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,632 All right. All right, anything you say. You can see anybody you want to. 69 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:43,156 Good. We choose honest way. By chance. 70 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:47,274 We stick pin into phone book. Wherever pin strikes we go. 71 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,155 -All right with me. -Miri Haan, phone book. 72 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:52,909 I'll get a pin. 73 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,590 -We use our own pin. -Always. 74 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,228 Eeny, meeny, miney, boom! 75 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,833 What's the matter, Tish? Something wrong? 76 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,708 That's strange. I felt just as though I'd been stuck with a pin. 77 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,670 The Addams. Oh, no, no, they aren't... They're off limits. 78 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,800 Excuse me, sir. Please don't go in there. 79 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:24,869 A-ha! 80 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,315 -Guide begs us not to go in. Why? -Why? 81 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:31,234 Because we have found real American family, not phony bureaucratic setup. 82 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:32,469 -That's not so. -And government 83 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,154 -will chop off his head for this. -Poor fellow. 84 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,909 Come. We go see some real Americans. 85 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,437 Look, fellows, I know where there's a dandy little bar downtown 86 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,636 with beautiful dancing girls. You'll have a ball there. 87 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:46,755 A-ha! 88 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:51,914 Miri, take note. Guide tries to bribe us but we refuse. We are strong men. 89 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:56,353 We go later. Now we go see typical American family. 90 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,753 -Very interesting. -I take note. 91 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,194 Mrs. Addams, you have a very interesting house here. 92 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,748 I have seen nothing like it before in America. 93 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,640 Well, it's nothing out of the ordinary, but we like it. 94 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,188 MORTlClA: And I'm so glad you gentlemen could come. 95 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,918 You've brightened our day immensely. 96 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,911 Harris, it was very nice of you to bring them here. 97 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,310 -Well, it wasn't my idea... -He was very eager for us to meet 98 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:28,392 average American family, is not so, Mr. Harris? 99 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:32,109 I keep telling you! The Addams are not an average family at all. 100 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:35,471 -How sweet. -Don't be turning our heads with flattery. 101 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,798 I do wish I'd known you were coming. 102 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,871 I could've planned some sort of amusement. 103 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:45,317 Oh, no, please. We wish to observe everyday routine. Agreed? 104 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:46,958 MORTlClA: Whatever you wish. 105 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,309 Psst. 106 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,709 Our house is your house, gentlemen. 107 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:58,671 Mr. Haan, may I offer you a cigar? Here, have one. 108 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,438 I will save for later. 109 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,830 Let's join the conversation. 110 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,075 Psst. 111 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,718 Mr. Haan, sit down. 112 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,750 -Miri Haan, you're smoking. -Oh, no, I save for later. 113 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,353 Mr. Haan, I'm terribly sorry. 114 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,954 I should've warned you it was a live cigar. 115 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,996 I begged you not to come here in the first place. 116 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:31,230 Well, gentlemen, we'd better be running along. 117 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,594 I'm sure you've seen enough. 118 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,717 -And I think... -We send this back home to laboratory. 119 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,950 I had no idea it was so late. If you gentlemen will excuse me, 120 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,235 it's time to go feed my plants. 121 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,792 Yes, they get pretty cranky when they're hungry. 122 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,713 Plants? Plants get hungry? 123 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,349 Cranky? 124 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,114 Well, after all, they're only human. 125 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,991 I'm quite proud of Mrs. Addams' hothouse. 126 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,799 She's raised these plants from tiny weeds. 127 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,878 Darling, would you? 128 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,713 Gardening is all a matter of proper feeding. 129 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,310 And these plants just love meat. 130 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,111 -Meat? -Especially when it's medium rare. 131 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,156 Yes, they're really meat eaters. I've seen them. 132 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,834 Especially that one. It's a regular little glutton. 133 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:27,115 Oh, no, no, no. Cleopatra, really. 134 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,234 Mr. Harris was only joking, darling. 135 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,590 She's really a sweet little thing. She's terribly young. 136 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,158 Not very S-M-A-R-T. 137 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:39,998 But she's learning. 138 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,798 Open up, sweetheart. 139 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,109 Have some more. There. 140 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:46,914 Yes. 141 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,394 This is plant, not animal? 142 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,516 -And it is learning? -She's quite slow, actually. 143 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:59,195 She's three years old and she can't even feed herself yet. 144 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,278 Open up, sweetheart. 145 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,719 Excuse me. 146 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,717 -This is big thing we have discovered. Big. -Very big. 147 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,829 They've learnt to breed plants that have the intelligence of humans. 148 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,832 And a mere woman has done this. An American woman. 149 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,434 Perhaps they have gone further than this? 150 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,353 And Harris thought he could hide this from us. 151 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:27,955 It's all right. We will learn the truth. Take notes, Miri Haan. Plenty notes. 152 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,758 Plenty notes. Plenty notes. 153 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:33,279 The mail's in. 154 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,398 Thank you, Thing. 155 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,999 -What is that? -Just your imagination. 156 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,517 Don't let him pull your leg. Thing is as real as any of us. 157 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,194 Thing, come up and meet our guests. 158 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,229 Thing. 159 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:11,513 Now, now. Dear Thing, he doesn't know his own strength. 160 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:16,596 -Anything exciting in the mail, dear? -Oh yes, lots of bills. 161 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:19,148 Wonderful. Will you excuse us, please? 162 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:22,959 Is it real? 163 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,200 Muscle and bone, with a grip like iron. 164 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:30,037 They have made this. A hand, a single hand by itself. 165 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:41,715 -lt likes privacy. -This is fantastic. Take notes, Miri Haan. 166 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:43,199 Take notes. 167 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,869 American family has taken first step towards building robots. 168 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,993 First a plant that moves and thinks 169 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:54,631 and then a hand of flesh and blood. This is big. 170 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,190 -Very big. -Bigger than big. 171 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,079 I write everything down. Everything. 172 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,238 Beautiful wreck, isn't it? 173 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,629 -Beautiful wreck? -Beautiful wreck? 174 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,112 Hello, I didn't know you were having company. 175 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,795 This is our Uncle Fester. This is Mr. Klarpe and Mr. Haan. 176 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,394 -Of course, you know Mr. Harris. -Howdy. 177 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,193 -I guess this'll have to wait. -What'll wait, old boy? 178 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:39,432 Well, I was feeling a little run down and I just wanted to get myself recharged. 179 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,632 -Recharged? -Recharged? 180 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:45,311 -It's just an expression. -This is an expression, too? 181 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:50,639 Oh, no, this is a great little pepper-upper. Would you like to see it work? 182 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,554 Uncle Fester, I'm sure these gentlemen wouldn't be interested. 183 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:54,755 No. 184 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,559 We'd be very interested. 185 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:01,397 Good. Well, you'll have to crank it, Gomez. 186 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:05,196 -He's such an exhibitionist. -FESTER: Oh, no. I really am run down. 187 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,709 It's just a simple little treatment to build up his energy. 188 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,598 Yes, well, you see, I put this little wire in my ear. 189 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:17,791 This little generator does the rest. Go ahead, Gomez. 190 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:29,313 -He really gets a charge out of this. -Write, write. 191 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,149 You mean he is full of electricity? 192 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,228 Believe me, believe me, they're just playing a little joke on you. 193 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,833 It's a joke, huh? Touch. 194 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,792 -That's a funny joke. -Write! Write! 195 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,279 I'm writing, I'm writing right now. 196 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:44,958 Stop! Stop! 197 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:46,794 Stop it. 198 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,595 I'm sorry, Harris, but he did warn you. 199 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:54,433 It'll tingle for a while but then it'll wear off. 200 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,792 I feel so good now, I'm gonna go out and chase automobiles. 201 00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,438 Wonderful hobby. 202 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,837 Stay away from water, Uncle Fester. 203 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,070 The last time he was recharged he took a shower 204 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,628 and blew out every fuse in the house. 205 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:11,272 -Americans, in order to get energy... -Energy. 206 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,556 -...put electricity in ear. -Ear. 207 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,631 -Like vitamins in stomach... -Stomach. 208 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,029 -...which we invented. -Which we invented. 209 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:19,795 That reminds me, 210 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,677 would you gentlemen care to join us in a snack? 211 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,796 -Oh, no, no, really. -We stay. 212 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,833 -We stay. -Excellent. I'll ring for Lurch. 213 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,390 -This Lurch, is he servant? -Yes, he's our butler. 214 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,670 Finally, we are to meet downtrodden member 215 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,273 of the American slave class. 216 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,669 Poor, weak victim of exploitation. 217 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,159 It is strong bell. 218 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:44,308 You rang? 219 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,152 Lunch, Lurch. And, oh, yes, Lurch, a cigar, please. 220 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,992 Thank you, Lurch. 221 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,874 Would you gentlemen care for a cigar? 222 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:06,429 -Oh, no, no, no. -No, no, thank you. 223 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,437 Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll get Mrs. Addams. 224 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,318 Thank you, Lurch. 225 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,551 That is poor, weak slave? 226 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,590 -Miri Haan, take note. -Take note. 227 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,236 -Servant of typical American family, robot. -Robot. 228 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,870 -Wait a minute, that's not true. -ls true. 229 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,679 -Third stage. -Third stage? What are you talking about? 230 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:43,355 Simple. First stage plant, second stage hand, 231 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:47,475 final product human robot. Flood labor market. 232 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,633 -Flood labor market. -This is ridiculous. Lurch is no robot. 233 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,230 -Then what is he? -Well, he's a... 234 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,634 I don't know exactly, but you'll never find another one like it. 235 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,950 How could be? Is typical American family. 236 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,998 Typical! I keep telling you. It's the only one of its kind. 237 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:07,595 -Please, let's get out of here. -Still trying to hide from us truth. 238 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,238 You still trying to pull bourgeois wool over our eyes. 239 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,279 I do hope you gentlemen enjoyed our modest table. 240 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,995 Was very good. Most thoughtful of you to serve caviar in our honor. 241 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:29,152 -Caviar? -The black fish eggs on toast. 242 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:30,589 Very good. 243 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,148 Oh, you mean eye of tadpole? 244 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,359 Eye of tadpole? 245 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:40,190 Blue-eyed tadpole is even tastier than black-eyed tadpole 246 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,635 but it's off-season for blue-eyed tadpole. 247 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:47,029 Beef is good, too. Not as good as in our country, but is good. 248 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:50,908 Mr. Haan, that wasn't beef. That's breast of alligator. 249 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:52,554 Alligator? 250 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,112 How about that henbane sauce? Specialty of the house. 251 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,434 Shall we repair to the living-room, gentlemen? 252 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,112 -You have been marvelous hostess. -Thank you. 253 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,315 -Very nice. -Very nice. 254 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:05,674 No sense in wasting this. 255 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,069 Tristan and lsolde love alligator. 256 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,876 Told you. Care to make a wish? 257 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,956 Mother, I finished my... 258 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,268 Oh. Company. 259 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,314 Gentlemen, this is our son, Pugsley. 260 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,551 Now, young man, what brought you racing in here so unceremoniously? 261 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,677 -I've finished my disintegrator gun. -Well, that's nice, dear. 262 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,718 -Run outside and play. -Would you like to see it work, sir? 263 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,836 I'm sure these gentlemen have no time to... 264 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,878 No, no, no. Let's not disappoint the little fellow. 265 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:13,072 -So you build disintegrator gun, eh? -That's right. 266 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,234 You mean you point disintegrator at something, 267 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,755 pull trigger, and that something disappear? 268 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,911 That's right, sir. Watch. 269 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,878 You mean you just point it... 270 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:46,638 I think you'd better play with this outside, Pugsley. 271 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,439 -It's rather hard on the bric-a-brac. -Yes, Father. 272 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,791 Nice to have met you, sir. 273 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,997 Poor Mr. Harris. Little things upset him so. 274 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,959 Very high-strung. I'll have Lurch take care of him. 275 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,069 You rang? 276 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,833 Yes. Lurch, would you take Mr. Harris to the guest room? 277 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,717 He needs a bit of rest. 278 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,749 Oh, please, I don't need anything, l... 279 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,432 Come. 280 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,638 Very hospitable. 281 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,998 Never mind that. 282 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,717 The little fellow, he made that gun himself? 283 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,949 He just can't keep out of mischief. 284 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,677 Remember the anti-gravity machine he made, 285 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,115 and what happened when he turned it on the postman? 286 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,111 Oh, yes, that was amusing. 287 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,192 The mailman just went floating off up in the air. 288 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,872 He really hated to come down. 289 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,350 He said the floating was so much easier on his feet. 290 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,438 He needs to rest. 291 00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:01,149 Well, be my guest. I just had the whole thing sharpened. 292 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:05,313 -Oh, no, no. -Or maybe you'd prefer the iron maiden? 293 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:10,149 These spikes will help you keep nice and still. It's very restful. 294 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,959 I don't need any rest, I'm fine. Please just put me down. 295 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,755 All right. That'll be all, Lurch. 296 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,755 You know, Mr. Harris, there is an art in relaxing. 297 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,429 Well, I'll never master it in this menagerie. I almost got wiped out by a ray gun. 298 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:33,670 That Pugsley. Such a showoff. That's how we lost Cousin Creep. 299 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,795 There he was, giggling and laughing 300 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:40,350 and suddenly there he wasn't, still giggling and laughing. 301 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,112 It was kind of eerie. 302 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,272 But that was old Creepy. He could always take a joke. 303 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:46,429 Well... 304 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,397 The impression those two men are getting in this house, 305 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,789 it could disrupt international relations. 306 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,553 I did think they were getting a little bored. 307 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:57,952 What if I was to go in and do some parlor trick? I can saw a woman in half. 308 00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,917 -Oh, no, no, no. -Oh, yes. It goes... 309 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,516 The only trouble I have is getting her together again. 310 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,392 Very strange man. 311 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,078 That is restful. 312 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,992 I'm very worried. This is not what we expected. 313 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,033 How can you expect what is so unexpected? 314 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,711 We thought average Americans were fools. 315 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,995 Now we learn they are geniuses. 316 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:38,197 -MlRl: Dangerous geniuses. -Electricity and eerie robots. 317 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,471 Ray guns built by little boys already. 318 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:44,792 I will make full report. From now on, we must learn to respect all Americans. 319 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,080 Is not safe to offend these people. Is not safe. 320 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,390 Rather be friend than meet end. 321 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:55,033 Well, gentlemen, have you found out all you want to know 322 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:57,793 -about us typical Americans? -We have. 323 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,110 Though you try hard to keep us from learning truth. 324 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,111 I was just doing my duty. 325 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:06,235 -Now we say goodbye to our hosts. -Oh, yes, let's get moving. 326 00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:12,476 -I just made $100,000. -Really? How nice. 327 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,712 Oops, just lost it again. 328 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:17,833 C'est la guerre. 329 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,632 Tish, when you speak French you drive me wild. 330 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,437 Excuse me, gentlemen. 331 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:34,910 Gomez, darling, control yourself. 332 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:39,033 I think perhaps we better leave. 333 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,113 Very thoughtful. 334 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,152 We wish to thank you for a most enlightening day. 335 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,476 You've brightened our day, too. 336 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,393 We were about to settle down to our everyday routine. 337 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,235 No notes. 338 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,711 -Good night. -Good night. 339 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,752 -Good night. -Good night. 340 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,955 You know, darling, I've been thinking. The simple life is really the best. 341 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,473 You're right. 342 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,599 Uncle Fester, are you sure this'll help you get rid of your headache? 343 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:13,999 Keep going. 344 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:22,638 -That's it. -Good. 345 00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:38,070 Darling, you look so serene and happy when you're throwing knives. 346 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:39,593 Family trait. 347 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,118 Thank you, Thing. 348 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:49,799 Hello, this is Mrs. Addams speaking. Why, hello, Mr. Harris. 349 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,112 Really? Well, how nice of you to call. 350 00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:58,948 Goodbye. 351 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,154 Gomez, that was that nice Mr. Harris. 352 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,390 He says our guests have cut their trip short 353 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,869 and have gone home to make a full report. 354 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,712 -Well, that's too bad. -Oh, no. 355 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,109 Mr. Harris says he's glad they're gone. 356 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,839 He said he overheard them talking about taking Lurch with them 357 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,797 for scientific purposes. 358 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,513 Scientific purposes. 359 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,795 The things people will do to get a good servant. 360 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:22,438 Most ungracious. 361 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:27,752 Let's not give them another thought. Back to our own beautiful world.