1 00:00:17,007 --> 00:00:18,963 They're creepy and they're kooky 2 00:00:19,047 --> 00:00:20,878 Mysterious and spooky 3 00:00:20,967 --> 00:00:22,798 They're altogether ooky 4 00:00:22,887 --> 00:00:24,764 The Addams family 5 00:00:24,847 --> 00:00:26,678 The house is a museum 6 00:00:26,767 --> 00:00:28,598 When people come to see 'em 7 00:00:28,687 --> 00:00:30,484 They really are a scream 8 00:00:30,567 --> 00:00:32,159 The Addams family 9 00:00:33,527 --> 00:00:34,516 Neat. 10 00:00:35,127 --> 00:00:36,116 Sweet. 11 00:00:39,007 --> 00:00:39,996 Petite. 12 00:00:40,087 --> 00:00:41,884 So get a witch's shawl on 13 00:00:41,967 --> 00:00:43,844 A broomstick you can crawl on 14 00:00:43,927 --> 00:00:45,724 We're gonna pay a call on 15 00:00:45,807 --> 00:00:48,799 The Addams family 16 00:01:07,807 --> 00:01:10,196 - Here you are, darling. - Thank you, my dear. 17 00:01:13,727 --> 00:01:14,762 GOMEZ: Pull! 18 00:01:18,127 --> 00:01:20,163 Excellent, my dear. 19 00:01:20,287 --> 00:01:22,243 Let's see if you can do this for me, though. 20 00:01:22,327 --> 00:01:23,396 Okay. 21 00:01:32,807 --> 00:01:34,081 My dear. 22 00:01:35,727 --> 00:01:36,796 Pull! 23 00:01:39,647 --> 00:01:41,478 Ole, Ole! 24 00:01:42,447 --> 00:01:44,244 I give up, querida mía. 25 00:01:44,327 --> 00:01:47,285 I simply haven't the dexterity to squeeze off shots like that. 26 00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:50,279 Now isn't this better than shooting apples off of Lurch's head? 27 00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:52,961 Much safer and less expensive. 28 00:01:53,887 --> 00:01:57,482 These poor steel-tipped arrows haven't a chance against Lurch's head. 29 00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:02,362 Incidentally, darling, does Lurch seem troubled to you? 30 00:02:02,607 --> 00:02:05,883 I spoke to him a few moments ago and he didn't even answer me. 31 00:02:06,007 --> 00:02:07,759 Didn't act like he heard me. 32 00:02:08,047 --> 00:02:10,277 - Do you suppose he's ill? - I don't know. 33 00:02:11,207 --> 00:02:13,801 He's been terribly depressed ever since he got that letter 34 00:02:13,887 --> 00:02:16,321 from his mother this morning. Not himself at all. 35 00:02:16,407 --> 00:02:18,284 - How could you tell? - He smiled. 36 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,162 Something has given him a bad turn. 37 00:02:22,367 --> 00:02:23,959 We should find him and get to the root of it. 38 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,882 More. More. 39 00:02:35,967 --> 00:02:39,926 Oh, gosh, Lurch, give me a turn. You've been having all the fun. 40 00:02:40,567 --> 00:02:43,479 Lurch, you're relaxing. That's a relief. 41 00:02:43,567 --> 00:02:45,000 We were worried about you. 42 00:02:45,087 --> 00:02:48,079 He says the rack is the only thing that helps him forget his troubles. 43 00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:49,839 Well, it'll do it every time, 44 00:02:49,927 --> 00:02:52,282 but you do have a problem, eh, old man? 45 00:02:53,447 --> 00:02:55,722 Now, it's not that bad. 46 00:02:55,807 --> 00:02:58,196 Come on, we'll get you off the rack and we'll talk about it. 47 00:02:58,287 --> 00:03:01,165 Mama, Uncle Fester's fixing a tasty new dish. 48 00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:03,317 Why don't you run along, maybe he'll share it with you. 49 00:03:03,407 --> 00:03:05,045 I could stand a snack. 50 00:03:05,127 --> 00:03:06,116 Selfish! 51 00:03:08,007 --> 00:03:11,283 Come on, old man. Speak up. 52 00:03:11,367 --> 00:03:13,722 Now, Lurch, does it have anything to do 53 00:03:13,807 --> 00:03:16,958 with the letter you received from your mother this morning? 54 00:03:17,047 --> 00:03:20,119 Why, I should think you'd be pleased that she's going to visit. 55 00:03:20,207 --> 00:03:21,845 We'd love to have her stay with us. 56 00:03:21,927 --> 00:03:24,043 We could put her up in that nice attic room. 57 00:03:24,127 --> 00:03:25,799 - No. - No? 58 00:03:27,047 --> 00:03:28,116 I fibbed. 59 00:03:29,807 --> 00:03:31,081 To your mama? 60 00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:36,080 Well, Mr. Addams and I understand. 61 00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:38,397 We understand about those little white lies 62 00:03:38,487 --> 00:03:40,921 that a roaming son writes his mother. 63 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:48,642 Lurch, that picture of the house that you sent to your mother, 64 00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:52,004 you told her it was your house, right? 65 00:03:53,687 --> 00:03:56,963 Well, we always think of you as one of the family, Lurch. 66 00:03:57,047 --> 00:04:00,403 - A servant. - A very good servant. 67 00:04:01,047 --> 00:04:03,322 - I'm a liar. - And a very good liar. 68 00:04:03,407 --> 00:04:05,796 - Gomez! - Oh, sorry, I got carried away. 69 00:04:05,927 --> 00:04:07,838 Now don't you fret about a thing. 70 00:04:07,927 --> 00:04:10,646 We'll put our heads together and see what we can do to help you. 71 00:04:10,727 --> 00:04:12,046 We'll call a family conference. 72 00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:13,606 Maybe Uncle Fester can think of something. 73 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,484 He has a good head on his shoulders. 74 00:04:15,567 --> 00:04:17,842 Too bad Cousin Slimy isn't around. 75 00:04:17,927 --> 00:04:19,565 He has two of them. 76 00:04:28,007 --> 00:04:30,077 I say let's mine the front porch. 77 00:04:30,167 --> 00:04:33,000 I can wire it so it'll blow up when she pushes the doorbell. 78 00:04:33,087 --> 00:04:35,317 That always discourages those magazine salesmen. 79 00:04:35,607 --> 00:04:38,360 Not bad, Fester, but why not just wire the doorbell 80 00:04:38,447 --> 00:04:41,803 with a few thousand volts? No need to damage the porch. 81 00:04:42,527 --> 00:04:45,041 No, no, darling, that wouldn't be kind. 82 00:04:45,127 --> 00:04:48,676 You let her get all the way to the door and then disappoint her like that. 83 00:04:48,967 --> 00:04:52,357 - Why not have Lurch play dead? - Good thinking. 84 00:04:53,607 --> 00:04:58,044 You think Lurch could be convincing? He looks so alive. 85 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:03,004 It was a very sweet thought, darling, but that's true. 86 00:05:03,207 --> 00:05:04,959 Lurch is so vivacious. 87 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,963 His most outstanding characteristic. 88 00:05:09,887 --> 00:05:11,161 I have it. 89 00:05:11,607 --> 00:05:15,395 If Mrs. Lurch thinks that Lurch is a very important, big man 90 00:05:15,487 --> 00:05:17,796 and owns this house and everything, 91 00:05:18,127 --> 00:05:20,595 why don't we just let her continue to think so? 92 00:05:20,807 --> 00:05:24,004 Querida mía. Leave it to you, with your feminine intuition, 93 00:05:24,207 --> 00:05:26,675 - to come up with the correct answer. - Darling. 94 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:30,199 Tish, when you pat my cheek it drives me wild. 95 00:05:31,647 --> 00:05:33,558 You Castilians are so fiery. 96 00:05:33,847 --> 00:05:36,042 Yes, Cousin Manuelo was a pyromaniac. 97 00:05:37,407 --> 00:05:40,683 Darling, later, later. Let's concentrate on Lurch. 98 00:05:40,967 --> 00:05:42,002 Oh, yes. 99 00:05:42,647 --> 00:05:43,841 - Now... - Forgive me. 100 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:46,361 ...for the few days that Mrs. Lurch is here, 101 00:05:46,687 --> 00:05:49,520 we'll let her think that Lurch is the head of the household, 102 00:05:49,647 --> 00:05:52,366 - and we'll be the servants. - Marvelous. 103 00:05:53,367 --> 00:05:55,119 Do you think I'd make a convincing butler? 104 00:05:55,207 --> 00:05:57,801 Darling, I couldn't imagine a subtler butler. 105 00:05:59,087 --> 00:06:03,080 You'll completely captivate Mrs. Lurch with your savoir-faire. 106 00:06:03,887 --> 00:06:06,879 Tish, when you speak French, you know how it affects me. 107 00:06:08,447 --> 00:06:13,043 Later, mon cher, later, not now. We have to get this thing settled. 108 00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:17,240 Now, I'll be the maid and Mama will be the cook. 109 00:06:17,327 --> 00:06:20,000 - I will not! - Mama. 110 00:06:20,607 --> 00:06:22,962 My schoolgirl complexion may have graduated, 111 00:06:23,047 --> 00:06:25,720 but I'm not gonna get dish-pan hands for anyone. 112 00:06:26,127 --> 00:06:28,595 I'll stay in the cottage till that woman leaves. 113 00:06:28,687 --> 00:06:31,565 Excellent idea, Mama, and you can take the children with you. 114 00:06:31,687 --> 00:06:33,962 Oh, that's a very good idea, dear. 115 00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:36,244 Now, Uncle Fester, 116 00:06:36,727 --> 00:06:38,957 - you can be the gardener. - Forget it. 117 00:06:39,287 --> 00:06:42,916 But, Uncle Fester, wouldn't you like to potter around in the back yard, 118 00:06:43,007 --> 00:06:46,079 maybe plant some crabgrass or stickweed? 119 00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:48,886 I like the back yard just the way it is. Bare. 120 00:06:49,447 --> 00:06:52,519 I'm gonna move out in the cottage with the others. 121 00:06:53,087 --> 00:06:57,000 Well, I guess it'll just have to be the two of us. 122 00:06:57,407 --> 00:07:01,366 Darling, we can do it. Let's go tell Lurch and rehearse our roles. 123 00:07:08,407 --> 00:07:10,159 There you are, madam. 124 00:07:11,407 --> 00:07:13,921 Are you ready for your soup now, sir? 125 00:07:15,967 --> 00:07:19,516 Cara bella! Oh, Morticia, you're enchanting. 126 00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:20,960 Thank you, kind sir. 127 00:07:21,047 --> 00:07:23,880 Darling, you make a superb butler. 128 00:07:24,407 --> 00:07:27,399 It gives full play to your courtly Castilian manner. 129 00:07:27,487 --> 00:07:30,524 Oh, Tish, you ravishing creature. 130 00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:33,965 Darling, now, remember our new positions. 131 00:07:34,367 --> 00:07:35,925 Oh, yes, yes, yes. 132 00:07:36,287 --> 00:07:39,996 - Is Lurch ready for his first lesson? - Yes, he's in the living room now. 133 00:07:40,087 --> 00:07:43,477 Now, remember, darling, one ring is for you, two rings for me. 134 00:07:43,567 --> 00:07:44,636 Yeah. 135 00:07:46,487 --> 00:07:47,556 That's me. 136 00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,076 - You rang? - You rang? 137 00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:58,601 No, no, Lurch. You rang. 138 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,040 Oh, no, sir. 139 00:08:00,407 --> 00:08:04,036 You rang for me because I'm your butler. 140 00:08:04,687 --> 00:08:07,485 And I'm not "sir," I'm Gomez. 141 00:08:07,807 --> 00:08:10,560 - Now sit down. - Yes, sir. 142 00:08:11,527 --> 00:08:12,642 Gomez. 143 00:08:13,887 --> 00:08:15,240 Perhaps this will help. 144 00:08:15,327 --> 00:08:17,921 A cigar gives a man that masterful feeling. 145 00:08:18,047 --> 00:08:19,560 Have you ever smoked? 146 00:08:31,007 --> 00:08:33,362 You got a couple of bad leaks there, old man. 147 00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:36,598 - You better forget the cigars. - It's no use. 148 00:08:37,007 --> 00:08:39,680 You can do it, Lurch. Just concentrate. 149 00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:43,365 Think big. Think important. 150 00:08:44,007 --> 00:08:47,044 Think that you are master of all you survey. 151 00:08:47,687 --> 00:08:48,836 Think. 152 00:08:53,487 --> 00:08:55,876 That's it. Splendid, Lurch. You got it. 153 00:08:56,487 --> 00:08:59,957 Now ring for the maid and demand your breakfast. 154 00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:14,756 You rang? 155 00:09:27,047 --> 00:09:31,120 - Telephone, Gomez. - Yes, sir. I'll get it, sir. 156 00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:40,526 Please, Lurch. I answer the phone. 157 00:09:52,207 --> 00:09:54,084 Your evening paper, sir. 158 00:10:00,327 --> 00:10:04,286 No, no, Lurch, not the funnies. The financial page. 159 00:10:04,407 --> 00:10:07,763 Wealthy men always turn to the financial page first. 160 00:10:08,087 --> 00:10:10,078 I like the funnies. 161 00:10:11,727 --> 00:10:16,403 Very good, Lurch. You actually sounded masterful then. 162 00:10:17,887 --> 00:10:20,526 Now, as far as pinching the maid... 163 00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:26,840 Perhaps that would be carrying it a bit too far. 164 00:10:27,207 --> 00:10:29,926 But I don't want your mother to become suspicious. 165 00:10:30,007 --> 00:10:32,805 Perhaps you'd better just make eyes at me instead. 166 00:10:35,007 --> 00:10:36,440 Try it, Lurch. 167 00:10:38,247 --> 00:10:42,365 Lurch, as mistress of this house, I'm ordering you to make eyes at me. 168 00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:00,205 Perhaps you'd better just try a devilish smile. 169 00:11:07,727 --> 00:11:10,446 Forget it, Lurch. I'm just not your type. 170 00:11:14,167 --> 00:11:18,046 - Your Cognac, sir. - I never drink. 171 00:11:19,167 --> 00:11:23,558 Nonsense. Gentlemen of quality always have a brandy after dinner. 172 00:11:23,887 --> 00:11:26,845 It's a sign of sophistication and culture. 173 00:11:58,167 --> 00:12:00,840 Well, he just flunked sophistication. 174 00:12:04,007 --> 00:12:06,202 - Morticia. - Darling, what do you think? 175 00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:09,086 Cousin Imar asked me to sew in his college seal. 176 00:12:09,487 --> 00:12:10,636 Princeton. 177 00:12:11,207 --> 00:12:12,276 Beautiful. 178 00:12:12,887 --> 00:12:17,244 Morticia, we've done it. Lurch just ordered me to shine his shoes. 179 00:12:17,327 --> 00:12:18,760 That's wonderful. 180 00:12:18,847 --> 00:12:22,760 He even reprimanded me this morning. He said his toast wasn't black enough. 181 00:12:22,847 --> 00:12:24,724 He's completely brainwashed. 182 00:12:25,927 --> 00:12:29,237 The doorbell. That may be his mama now. 183 00:12:43,607 --> 00:12:45,837 - It's Mama. - All right. 184 00:12:45,927 --> 00:12:48,487 Now you let me open the door properly, Lurch. 185 00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:50,478 You greet her right here. 186 00:12:57,087 --> 00:12:59,282 - How do you do? - Where's my boy? 187 00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:03,637 - There you are! Sonny. - Mama. 188 00:13:21,047 --> 00:13:23,242 There she goes again. That's me. 189 00:13:25,207 --> 00:13:27,084 Two rings. That's me. 190 00:13:29,047 --> 00:13:32,642 Three blasts. It's an all-out command performance this time. 191 00:13:33,167 --> 00:13:35,635 Let's wait till she makes up her mind. 192 00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:44,200 Sonny, I don't know how you put up with such miserable servants. 193 00:13:44,287 --> 00:13:45,640 They're never around when you want them. 194 00:13:46,807 --> 00:13:48,877 She really is a little cyclone. 195 00:13:48,967 --> 00:13:51,686 Not at all what I expected Lurch's mother to be like. 196 00:13:51,767 --> 00:13:53,962 I haven't sat down since she got here. 197 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,395 What is it, darling? 198 00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:59,559 I'm all kinked up from last night, sleeping on the divan. 199 00:14:00,247 --> 00:14:02,044 I miss our nice, big bed. 200 00:14:02,447 --> 00:14:04,517 Well, I suppose she was right in saying 201 00:14:04,607 --> 00:14:06,563 that Lurch should have the master bedroom. 202 00:14:06,647 --> 00:14:09,081 After all, she does think he's the master of the house. 203 00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:11,920 Well, at least you slept on Lurch's bed in the attic. 204 00:14:12,007 --> 00:14:15,443 She's really quite insensitive for such a dear little thing. 205 00:14:15,527 --> 00:14:18,041 Do you know she hates Pugsley's octopus? 206 00:14:19,807 --> 00:14:22,002 Anyone who'd hate an octopus is warped. 207 00:14:22,087 --> 00:14:24,442 She even tried to feed it to Cleopatra. 208 00:14:25,167 --> 00:14:26,441 That's inhuman. 209 00:14:26,727 --> 00:14:28,479 I rescued them just in time. 210 00:14:30,647 --> 00:14:33,207 Let's call off this whole mad charade. 211 00:14:33,287 --> 00:14:37,041 Oh, darling, please be patient. It's only for a few more days. 212 00:14:37,647 --> 00:14:41,037 You'd better go to her now before she rings the house down. 213 00:14:43,287 --> 00:14:47,519 Oh, Tish, when you help me with my coat it goes right through me. 214 00:14:49,607 --> 00:14:52,041 - It's impossible. - What's impossible? 215 00:14:52,247 --> 00:14:53,919 That blondes have more fun. 216 00:14:58,367 --> 00:14:59,436 You rang? 217 00:14:59,527 --> 00:15:02,200 I don't trust you, Gomez, you've got shifty eyes 218 00:15:02,327 --> 00:15:04,557 and no good butler wears a moustache. 219 00:15:04,727 --> 00:15:06,797 Sorry, madam, I was born with it. 220 00:15:06,887 --> 00:15:07,956 Where have you been off to? 221 00:15:08,047 --> 00:15:10,607 Some dark corner with that hussy of a maid? 222 00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:13,766 Sir, I appeal to you. 223 00:15:13,967 --> 00:15:16,720 You don't appeal to him and you don't appeal to me. 224 00:15:17,047 --> 00:15:21,040 My son is just too sweet and gentle. People take advantage of him. 225 00:15:21,127 --> 00:15:23,118 You're sloppy and inefficient. 226 00:15:23,607 --> 00:15:25,757 Sir, please tell her. 227 00:15:27,287 --> 00:15:30,324 You're sloppy and inefficient. 228 00:15:34,007 --> 00:15:37,477 Yes, sir. I'll try to do better, sir. 229 00:15:41,887 --> 00:15:46,085 - What kind of monstrosity is that? - That's Thing, madam. 230 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:50,002 Well, set a trap for it. Get it back in that box, nail the lid down. 231 00:15:50,207 --> 00:15:51,276 Yes, madam. 232 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:54,882 Well, snap to it. You're living on borrowed time around here. 233 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:59,767 Mama's going to stay until she gets things straightened out 234 00:15:59,847 --> 00:16:01,246 around this place. 235 00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:04,399 Big, important men like her sonny are much too busy 236 00:16:04,487 --> 00:16:06,876 to be bothered running a household. 237 00:16:07,287 --> 00:16:08,879 Yes, Mama. 238 00:16:20,407 --> 00:16:22,602 Thing, I'm sorry I had to nail up your favorite box, 239 00:16:22,687 --> 00:16:24,962 but you don't realize the spot we're in. 240 00:16:25,687 --> 00:16:26,915 Try to stay... 241 00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:30,684 Try to stay undercover for the next couple of days, please. 242 00:16:31,247 --> 00:16:34,398 Gomez, darling, I'm afraid we've made a terrible mistake. 243 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:38,600 Instead of pleasing Lurch's mother all we're doing is making her miserable. 244 00:16:38,687 --> 00:16:41,155 Perhaps, but Lurch certainly is happy. 245 00:16:41,487 --> 00:16:45,036 Do you know he's really beginning to believe that he owns this house? 246 00:16:45,127 --> 00:16:46,640 And that we're his servants? 247 00:16:46,727 --> 00:16:50,322 Just hold out for a couple of more days and everything will be back to normal. 248 00:16:50,407 --> 00:16:54,116 - Darling, you're so noble and generous. - That's true. 249 00:16:54,327 --> 00:16:57,000 But, you're every bit as magnanimous, querida mía. 250 00:16:59,327 --> 00:17:00,316 A-ha! 251 00:17:00,527 --> 00:17:03,246 - Caught in the act! - Madam, allow us to explain. 252 00:17:03,327 --> 00:17:05,477 No need. I can see the plot now. 253 00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,398 You intend to wheedle Sonny into marriage. 254 00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:10,638 Then you'll do away with him and marry this shameless witch. 255 00:17:11,887 --> 00:17:14,845 - Then you'll both split his fortune. - Nonsense. 256 00:17:14,927 --> 00:17:18,158 - Gomez wouldn't harm a fly. - I've read a lot of detective stories 257 00:17:18,247 --> 00:17:20,602 and the butler is always the one who does it. 258 00:17:20,687 --> 00:17:23,884 Well, you can forget it all now. I'm wise to both of you. 259 00:17:26,927 --> 00:17:31,125 You know, the way things are going, her idea isn't bad. 260 00:17:33,807 --> 00:17:35,445 Those people got to go. 261 00:17:35,527 --> 00:17:39,156 I won't leave this house till I see you safely set up with decent help. 262 00:17:39,247 --> 00:17:41,522 - Maybe a raise. - A raise? 263 00:17:42,047 --> 00:17:45,676 - They want all your money. - They seemed so nice. 264 00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:48,235 Yeah, well, you just call them in and give them their walking papers. 265 00:17:49,487 --> 00:17:51,603 Just call them in and tell them they're fired. 266 00:17:51,687 --> 00:17:54,440 - Now! Quick! Git! - Yes, Mama. 267 00:17:59,967 --> 00:18:02,481 - You rang, sir? - You're fired. 268 00:18:04,487 --> 00:18:06,159 You mean you're dismissing us? 269 00:18:06,247 --> 00:18:08,681 You're fired. Now pack your things and git! 270 00:18:09,247 --> 00:18:11,522 Isn't it customary to give two-weeks notice? 271 00:18:11,607 --> 00:18:14,565 Not to cutthroats and thieves. On your way! Scoot! 272 00:18:14,647 --> 00:18:16,877 Lurch, do something. 273 00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:23,042 - No, no, I mean, say something. - Good luck. 274 00:18:25,247 --> 00:18:28,364 - We'll pack our bags at once. - And leave the silverware. 275 00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,320 Good riddance. 276 00:18:35,127 --> 00:18:36,924 And now I'll phone the Employment Agency, 277 00:18:37,007 --> 00:18:38,679 and get two good replacements right away. 278 00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:39,882 Yes, Mama. 279 00:18:51,167 --> 00:18:53,078 Why doesn't that woman go home? 280 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:57,006 I don't like living out here. It's too crowded. 281 00:18:57,127 --> 00:18:59,925 Maybe Morticia's man-eating plant will get her. 282 00:19:00,687 --> 00:19:01,722 You're a dreamer. 283 00:19:02,927 --> 00:19:04,326 I'll get it. 284 00:19:07,167 --> 00:19:10,398 Well, here we are. One big happy family again. 285 00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:14,086 - Did she leave? - We did. We've been fired. 286 00:19:14,527 --> 00:19:17,485 We'll just have to move in here with you until she goes home. 287 00:19:17,567 --> 00:19:20,798 But that's ridiculous. How can you get fired from your own home? 288 00:19:20,887 --> 00:19:22,286 That's an interesting question. 289 00:19:22,367 --> 00:19:25,040 We can't all live in here. It's too crowded now, 290 00:19:25,327 --> 00:19:28,160 and that old spitfire will probably stay on for ages. 291 00:19:28,247 --> 00:19:32,479 I won't give up my bed. I just got the nails nicely broken in. 292 00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:37,441 We really ought to buy another house. Just for emergencies like this. 293 00:19:37,527 --> 00:19:41,964 I said this whole idea was crazy. You're both as soft as jellyfish. 294 00:19:42,327 --> 00:19:43,680 Coddling a butler. 295 00:19:44,207 --> 00:19:47,165 Oh, Uncle Fester, you should see how happy Lurch is. 296 00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:49,755 Well, he should see how miserable we are. 297 00:19:51,247 --> 00:19:54,000 I'm going right up to the house and straighten this whole mess out. 298 00:19:54,087 --> 00:19:55,679 And I'll go with you. 299 00:19:56,407 --> 00:19:59,797 - It takes a woman to handle a woman. - Oh, please, Mama. 300 00:19:59,887 --> 00:20:02,640 Please don't do anything to spoil it now that it's almost over. 301 00:20:02,727 --> 00:20:04,399 Oh, don't worry. She doesn't know us. 302 00:20:04,487 --> 00:20:06,796 We'll tell her we're the next-door neighbors. 303 00:20:06,887 --> 00:20:09,924 Yeah, we'll tell them what wonderful servants you are, 304 00:20:10,007 --> 00:20:11,963 that we've had our eye on you for years. 305 00:20:12,047 --> 00:20:13,765 Yeah, that's a great idea. 306 00:20:13,847 --> 00:20:17,920 And that we want you so much that she'll wanna hire you right back. 307 00:20:20,327 --> 00:20:22,887 Gomez, do you really think she'll take us back? 308 00:20:23,207 --> 00:20:25,926 If she does I'm gonna ask for a raise. 309 00:20:35,047 --> 00:20:37,720 - Well, you're very prompt. - Well, now look, Mrs. Lurch... 310 00:20:37,807 --> 00:20:40,560 Well, please, come right in. You can start at once. 311 00:20:40,927 --> 00:20:43,361 - You don't seem to understand. - Of course I understand. 312 00:20:43,447 --> 00:20:45,278 You're the new butler and you're the new maid, 313 00:20:45,367 --> 00:20:47,437 and I must say you're just perfect. 314 00:20:47,527 --> 00:20:50,997 - Oh, well, that's very kind of you... - A real butler. 315 00:20:51,207 --> 00:20:54,643 Such polish, such poise, such a continental manner. 316 00:20:55,647 --> 00:20:57,285 I trust you completely. 317 00:20:57,367 --> 00:20:59,722 Oh, well, that's very generous, you see, but... 318 00:20:59,807 --> 00:21:02,116 - What's the salary? - Anything you ask. 319 00:21:02,207 --> 00:21:04,767 Price is no object when you demand quality. 320 00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:07,236 - I'll take it. - Just a minute. 321 00:21:07,327 --> 00:21:10,558 Now, look, you do what you wanna do, but I'm back in a decent house 322 00:21:10,647 --> 00:21:12,478 and I'm getting paid for it. 323 00:21:14,487 --> 00:21:16,045 I do hope you'll stay, too. 324 00:21:16,127 --> 00:21:19,005 You're exactly the kind of maid my son needs. 325 00:21:19,087 --> 00:21:22,397 A mature, sensible woman who won't be making eyes at him 326 00:21:22,487 --> 00:21:23,920 like the last one did. 327 00:21:24,007 --> 00:21:26,441 Well, maybe I'll try it. 328 00:21:26,647 --> 00:21:29,241 I haven't had a regular income for a long time. 329 00:21:29,607 --> 00:21:30,756 Wonderful! 330 00:21:30,887 --> 00:21:34,277 Now I can go back home. I know my son is in good hands. 331 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:43,685 Well, goodbye, Sonny. 332 00:21:45,007 --> 00:21:46,235 Goodbye, Mama. 333 00:22:02,967 --> 00:22:06,562 Dear Lurch, you were just marvelous. 334 00:22:06,647 --> 00:22:08,842 I'm sure your mother is very proud of you. 335 00:22:08,927 --> 00:22:11,646 Nice work, old man, you brought it off splendidly. 336 00:22:12,647 --> 00:22:14,638 Where are you two going? 337 00:22:16,087 --> 00:22:18,521 It's all over now. We're going back into the house. 338 00:22:18,607 --> 00:22:21,883 I'm sorry. Your positions have been filled. 339 00:22:38,047 --> 00:22:40,607 Lurch, please stop playing. 340 00:22:42,047 --> 00:22:44,117 But I love music. 341 00:22:44,967 --> 00:22:47,765 Lurch, we're waiting for you to serve dinner. 342 00:22:47,847 --> 00:22:48,882 Me? 343 00:22:49,687 --> 00:22:51,086 Serve dinner? 344 00:22:51,367 --> 00:22:56,236 Oh, Lurch, I thought we had you completely unbrainwashed. 345 00:22:56,327 --> 00:22:57,885 Let's try it again. 346 00:23:00,287 --> 00:23:01,720 - You rang? - You rang? 347 00:23:01,847 --> 00:23:03,485 Now I'm doing it again. 348 00:23:03,687 --> 00:23:06,679 That was very good, Lurch. Almost like your old self. 349 00:23:06,807 --> 00:23:08,445 Thank you, Mrs. Addams. 350 00:23:09,007 --> 00:23:11,396 Now would you please serve dinner? 351 00:23:14,807 --> 00:23:16,160 Oh, the poor dear. 352 00:23:16,407 --> 00:23:19,205 This has been a very harrowing experience for him 353 00:23:19,327 --> 00:23:21,443 but I do think he's his old self again. 354 00:23:21,527 --> 00:23:23,995 Shall we go into dinner, cara bella? 355 00:23:24,527 --> 00:23:25,801 Yes, darling. 356 00:23:36,927 --> 00:23:38,121 Lurch. 357 00:23:40,447 --> 00:23:41,675 You're fired.