1 00:00:17,007 --> 00:00:18,963 They're creepy and they're kooky 2 00:00:19,047 --> 00:00:20,878 Mysterious and spooky 3 00:00:20,967 --> 00:00:22,798 They're altogether ooky 4 00:00:22,887 --> 00:00:24,764 The Addams family 5 00:00:24,847 --> 00:00:26,678 The house is a museum 6 00:00:26,767 --> 00:00:28,598 When people come to see 'em 7 00:00:28,687 --> 00:00:30,484 They really are a scream 8 00:00:30,567 --> 00:00:32,159 The Addams family 9 00:00:33,527 --> 00:00:34,516 Neat. 10 00:00:35,127 --> 00:00:36,116 Sweet. 11 00:00:39,007 --> 00:00:39,996 Petite. 12 00:00:40,087 --> 00:00:41,884 So get a witch's shawl on 13 00:00:41,967 --> 00:00:43,844 A broomstick you can crawl on 14 00:00:43,927 --> 00:00:45,724 We're gonna pay a call on 15 00:00:45,807 --> 00:00:48,799 The Addams family 16 00:01:07,527 --> 00:01:11,679 Come on, Fester, get that power going. I want this crash to be a real whopper. 17 00:01:14,967 --> 00:01:17,197 I'm too excited to play trains, Gomez. 18 00:01:17,287 --> 00:01:20,324 I should go up to my room and pack some things for the outing. 19 00:01:20,407 --> 00:01:23,240 - But that's tomorrow. - It's going to be real neat. 20 00:01:23,367 --> 00:01:25,164 Exploring a brand-new cave. 21 00:01:25,247 --> 00:01:27,602 And I'm gonna light the way for everybody. 22 00:01:29,487 --> 00:01:30,966 Bright as Broadway. 23 00:01:33,447 --> 00:01:36,723 Now, what'll it be today, Pugsley? A nice head-on collision? 24 00:01:36,807 --> 00:01:38,763 Couldn't we have a derailment for a change? 25 00:01:38,847 --> 00:01:40,405 Derailment it is. 26 00:01:40,487 --> 00:01:45,003 Let that current go, Fester. I wanna see 'em fly off the tracks. 27 00:01:45,767 --> 00:01:48,486 Gomez, don't you think I ought to save myself till tomorrow? 28 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,444 Tomorrow is another day. 29 00:01:51,727 --> 00:01:54,605 Why didn't I think of that? Okay. 30 00:01:57,487 --> 00:02:01,321 Now watch this, Pugsley boy. A wild pile-up on the next turn. 31 00:02:14,287 --> 00:02:17,006 - Suddenly I went dead. - You need recharging. 32 00:02:17,087 --> 00:02:19,555 No, I just had that done this morning. 33 00:02:19,767 --> 00:02:23,362 I didn't feel good all day, but I never thought it'd come to this. 34 00:02:25,127 --> 00:02:26,765 What do we do, Father? 35 00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:29,600 The only thing we can do. Call an electrician. 36 00:02:34,807 --> 00:02:38,925 - I think I have an emotional watt seepage. - Watt a way to go. 37 00:02:39,607 --> 00:02:42,644 - Don't make fun of me, Gomez. - I'm sorry, really. 38 00:02:43,847 --> 00:02:45,997 Hello? Home Electrical? 39 00:02:46,807 --> 00:02:48,763 I'd like to ask a bit of advice. 40 00:02:49,087 --> 00:02:51,965 Our Uncle Fester seems to have got himself de-volted. 41 00:02:52,447 --> 00:02:53,596 Hello? 42 00:02:54,687 --> 00:02:56,325 You still there? Good. 43 00:02:57,207 --> 00:02:58,925 Yes, de-volted. 44 00:02:59,687 --> 00:03:03,043 Well, you see, he was running an electric train and suddenly his power went off. 45 00:03:04,607 --> 00:03:08,236 - What did he say? - I can't tell you in front of the boy. 46 00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:13,361 - I guess we'll have to talk to Morticia. - Gee, I hate to worry her about me. 47 00:03:13,447 --> 00:03:16,166 Well, it's not the worry. She was going to bake a cake this afternoon 48 00:03:16,247 --> 00:03:18,602 and she wanted you to run her cake mixer. 49 00:03:18,727 --> 00:03:20,718 Failure upon failure. 50 00:03:20,807 --> 00:03:24,083 I feel like going out and drowning myself in the smog. 51 00:03:25,487 --> 00:03:28,524 Breathe deeply. It does wonders for your sinuses. 52 00:03:29,127 --> 00:03:31,004 - Gomez! - Well, it does. 53 00:03:46,047 --> 00:03:47,196 Again. 54 00:04:02,287 --> 00:04:07,156 Thank you, Thing. But remember, nobody likes a smart thing. 55 00:04:13,767 --> 00:04:17,555 Wednesday dear, that was lovely. You're really improving. 56 00:04:17,887 --> 00:04:20,765 I think you're almost ready to start on the new piece I bought you. 57 00:04:20,847 --> 00:04:22,280 Dance of the Hyenas. 58 00:04:23,447 --> 00:04:25,165 That sounds pretty. 59 00:04:25,927 --> 00:04:27,997 Thank you, Lurch, that will be all. 60 00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:34,921 - Mother. Uncle Fester's sick. - Are you sure? 61 00:04:35,007 --> 00:04:36,599 When I saw him at breakfast this morning, 62 00:04:36,687 --> 00:04:40,362 his face fairly glowed with that lovely jaundiced color. 63 00:04:41,207 --> 00:04:42,959 Maybe he blew a fuse. 64 00:04:43,727 --> 00:04:45,843 Oh, darling, I'm sure he's funning you. 65 00:04:45,927 --> 00:04:49,442 He probably wants you to put a penny behind his ear to make him go again. 66 00:04:49,527 --> 00:04:50,721 I doubt that. 67 00:04:50,927 --> 00:04:53,202 No, his malady is a bit of a mystery. 68 00:04:53,487 --> 00:04:55,637 Children, why don't you go into the kitchen 69 00:04:55,727 --> 00:04:58,958 and help Grandmama sort the toadstools from the mushrooms. 70 00:04:59,047 --> 00:05:02,403 She's going to make a lovely toadstool soufflé. 71 00:05:02,487 --> 00:05:04,125 - Yummy! - Yummy! 72 00:05:05,767 --> 00:05:08,804 That reminds me, darling. If you're going to bake that cake 73 00:05:08,887 --> 00:05:11,162 I'll have to run out and get you a hand mixer. 74 00:05:11,247 --> 00:05:13,966 - Then Uncle Fester's really ill. - Not a watt. 75 00:05:14,967 --> 00:05:16,446 Oh, darling. 76 00:05:17,607 --> 00:05:20,326 I'm afraid this will cancel our outing for tomorrow. 77 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,045 We could take flashlights. 78 00:05:22,327 --> 00:05:25,080 But the light would be too harsh. 79 00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:28,239 And too bright to explore new and unknown caves. 80 00:05:28,647 --> 00:05:33,641 Besides, when Uncle Fester switches to neon, the effect is truly spectacular. 81 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,522 The children will be so disappointed. 82 00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:39,844 Little Wednesday was looking forward to collecting some new spiders. 83 00:05:39,927 --> 00:05:42,964 - You know how she adores her pets. - I know how you were looking forward 84 00:05:43,047 --> 00:05:45,003 to some hemlock seedlings for your garden. 85 00:05:45,087 --> 00:05:47,123 Darling, we're being very selfish. 86 00:05:47,327 --> 00:05:49,443 We're thinking of ourselves, and we shouldn't. 87 00:05:49,527 --> 00:05:52,200 We should only think of how to help Uncle Fester. 88 00:05:52,287 --> 00:05:56,200 How like you to think of it that way, querida mía. 89 00:05:56,927 --> 00:05:58,360 You are a gem. 90 00:05:59,247 --> 00:06:00,441 Tasty one, too. 91 00:06:01,047 --> 00:06:04,926 Darling, do you remember our second honeymoon at Niagara Falls? 92 00:06:05,207 --> 00:06:08,756 - In Niagara Falls. - It was a divine cave. 93 00:06:09,367 --> 00:06:11,961 Free showers, anytime of the day or night. 94 00:06:13,527 --> 00:06:15,995 That was living, mon ami. 95 00:06:17,807 --> 00:06:21,004 Tish. When you speak French you drive me wild. 96 00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:24,757 Speak some more French, Tish. Anything. Tout á I'heure. 97 00:06:24,847 --> 00:06:27,520 La plume de ma tante. Mademoiselle from Armentieres. 98 00:06:27,607 --> 00:06:28,676 Anything. 99 00:06:28,767 --> 00:06:30,405 - You are a devil. - Yes. 100 00:06:31,247 --> 00:06:33,807 I'm just gonna pack my bags and leave. 101 00:06:33,887 --> 00:06:36,242 Uncle Fester, what seems to be the trouble? 102 00:06:36,327 --> 00:06:38,795 Mama called me an outing pooper. 103 00:06:39,127 --> 00:06:42,437 - Oh, I'm sure she meant it kindly. - Of course. 104 00:06:44,127 --> 00:06:45,845 From Mama that's flattery. 105 00:06:46,647 --> 00:06:50,401 And that's not all. Thing refused to Indian wrestle with me. 106 00:06:50,487 --> 00:06:53,797 And the piranha fish wouldn't even take a bite out of my hand. 107 00:06:54,127 --> 00:06:55,560 That is unfriendly. 108 00:06:56,087 --> 00:06:57,315 It's worse than that. 109 00:06:57,407 --> 00:07:01,082 I asked Lurch to bring up my bed of nails so I could get some relaxation 110 00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:03,920 and he absolutely ignored me. 111 00:07:04,167 --> 00:07:05,885 We'll see about that. 112 00:07:11,127 --> 00:07:12,355 You rang? 113 00:07:12,447 --> 00:07:15,996 Lurch, I'm afraid you're going to have to apologize to Uncle Fester. 114 00:07:19,727 --> 00:07:21,001 That's better. 115 00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:24,199 Dear Lurch, he expresses himself so well. 116 00:07:24,687 --> 00:07:27,042 I don't blame anyone for rejecting me, 117 00:07:27,127 --> 00:07:28,924 the way I've ruined the family's outing. 118 00:07:29,007 --> 00:07:31,919 Uncle Fester, Gomez and I aren't rejecting you. 119 00:07:32,007 --> 00:07:34,840 - We want to help you. - But the question is how? 120 00:07:35,407 --> 00:07:37,716 I believe it has something to do with your diet. 121 00:07:37,807 --> 00:07:41,766 Impossible. I always eat a very simple, wholesome meal. 122 00:07:41,847 --> 00:07:45,157 Now, for breakfast this morning I had walnut shells and sour milk. 123 00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:48,205 Oh, you should have had green persimmons first. 124 00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:50,320 Naturally. 125 00:07:52,327 --> 00:07:54,966 Gosh. If there is something wrong with me, 126 00:07:55,047 --> 00:07:58,517 I hope it's one of those rare tropical diseases. 127 00:07:59,047 --> 00:08:02,403 You know, Morticia. Something glamorous. 128 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,199 I hope so too, dear. 129 00:08:04,287 --> 00:08:07,359 But in the meantime, we must get you well before tomorrow. 130 00:08:07,807 --> 00:08:10,605 Oh, you better go along without me. 131 00:08:11,207 --> 00:08:13,721 I'll probably be an outing pooper. 132 00:08:14,047 --> 00:08:15,765 Well, back to the smog. 133 00:08:18,127 --> 00:08:21,039 Poor Uncle Fester. He sounds suicidal. 134 00:08:21,127 --> 00:08:23,277 At least he'll go with a clear sinus. 135 00:08:23,767 --> 00:08:25,086 Uncle Fester! 136 00:08:26,087 --> 00:08:28,317 Don't try to discourage me, Morticia. 137 00:08:28,407 --> 00:08:29,965 Uncle Fester, I've been thinking. 138 00:08:30,047 --> 00:08:32,242 Have you been getting enough moonshine? 139 00:08:32,407 --> 00:08:35,126 Morticia, you know I don't drink. 140 00:08:35,207 --> 00:08:38,040 Morticia's referring to moonbathing. 141 00:08:39,527 --> 00:08:43,042 The moon has marvelous restorative powers for us Addamses. 142 00:08:43,127 --> 00:08:46,039 Provided you don't take too much of it. There's a full moon out tonight. 143 00:08:46,127 --> 00:08:48,197 If I get too much I get freckles. 144 00:08:48,287 --> 00:08:52,166 Nonsense. A good moonbath is just the tonic you need. 145 00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:56,362 Well, I don't know about Uncle Fester, but you've talked me into one. 146 00:09:23,687 --> 00:09:24,881 Catch. 147 00:09:27,647 --> 00:09:29,080 You little minx. 148 00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:36,043 - Isn't this fun, Fester? - Oh, yes. But I'm not out here for fun. 149 00:09:36,607 --> 00:09:38,677 I'm out here to get my health back. 150 00:09:38,967 --> 00:09:41,686 I'd watch myself with that reflector the first time around. 151 00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:45,043 You should work up gradually to a nice coat of grey. 152 00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:46,719 Very wise, darling. 153 00:09:47,207 --> 00:09:49,721 Uncle Fester, would you like some of Mama's goose grease? 154 00:09:49,807 --> 00:09:51,160 Well, I had some. 155 00:09:51,647 --> 00:09:53,239 It was delicious. 156 00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:55,761 Uncle Fester, you're not supposed to eat it. 157 00:09:55,847 --> 00:09:59,317 - You're supposed to rub it on you. - Oh? 158 00:10:00,127 --> 00:10:02,595 Maybe that's why I don't feel any better. 159 00:10:03,727 --> 00:10:08,357 Oh, now on top of everything I've got myself a severe moonburn. 160 00:10:08,527 --> 00:10:09,562 Shucks. 161 00:10:16,567 --> 00:10:19,764 Oh, Gomez, you were a handsome little boy. 162 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:23,923 - Darling, that's our son Pugsley. - Oh? 163 00:10:24,847 --> 00:10:27,441 You're right, I thought he looked familiar. 164 00:10:31,447 --> 00:10:34,200 Hello, Uncle Fester. You still alive? 165 00:10:35,287 --> 00:10:38,359 - Well, don't I look it? - Of course, darling. 166 00:10:38,447 --> 00:10:40,881 That moonbath did wonders for you. 167 00:10:42,087 --> 00:10:45,363 Don't let this outdoorsy, athletic exterior fool you. 168 00:10:45,607 --> 00:10:47,086 I feel rotten. 169 00:10:50,967 --> 00:10:52,798 Thing doesn't look so hot, either. 170 00:10:52,887 --> 00:10:56,766 He couldn't get past threesies four times in a row. 171 00:10:56,847 --> 00:10:58,803 I think there is something wrong with him. 172 00:10:58,887 --> 00:11:00,684 Thing, are you all right? 173 00:11:08,807 --> 00:11:10,798 Gomez, this is becoming serious. 174 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:13,037 I think there maybe something contagious going around. 175 00:11:13,127 --> 00:11:15,436 You may be right. We'd better check Zelda. 176 00:11:15,887 --> 00:11:18,117 Zelda, dear, are you all right? 177 00:11:20,607 --> 00:11:22,359 She sounds fine. 178 00:11:22,967 --> 00:11:26,243 Gomez, isn't that sweet? She's molting. 179 00:11:26,847 --> 00:11:28,041 Beautiful. 180 00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:31,404 Zelda, darling, you're not eating your lunch. 181 00:11:33,807 --> 00:11:35,320 Dear, there is something wrong. 182 00:11:35,407 --> 00:11:38,638 She's not eating, and that's her favorite dish. Dry bones. 183 00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:43,279 Wouldn't eat her dried bones. This is serious. 184 00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:45,403 There's only one solution. We've got to call a doctor. 185 00:11:45,487 --> 00:11:47,523 A doctor? Which one? 186 00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:50,758 The only one. Our family witch doctor, Dr. Mbogo. 187 00:11:56,287 --> 00:11:57,845 Who did you want again? 188 00:11:59,047 --> 00:12:00,765 Oh, Dr. Mbogo. 189 00:12:01,527 --> 00:12:04,041 Wait a minute. I'll see if I can get a hold of him. 190 00:12:04,127 --> 00:12:05,196 Hold on. 191 00:12:17,967 --> 00:12:19,958 Tish, remind me to get myself a hollow log. 192 00:12:20,047 --> 00:12:22,197 Save a lot of time by dialing direct. 193 00:12:22,767 --> 00:12:25,281 They are taking a long time getting through, aren't they? 194 00:12:25,367 --> 00:12:28,120 Yes. Well, he's probably got a hut full of patients. 195 00:12:28,207 --> 00:12:32,598 Give old Doc a good tsetse fly bite case and he can't tear himself away. 196 00:12:33,247 --> 00:12:34,919 Hello? Doctor? 197 00:12:35,727 --> 00:12:37,126 Gomez Addams here. 198 00:12:39,487 --> 00:12:41,284 Jambo to you too, Doctor. 199 00:12:43,087 --> 00:12:46,284 Doctor, we're having a spot of trouble with Uncle Fester, 200 00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:48,323 and we'd appreciate it if you... 201 00:12:49,847 --> 00:12:50,882 Really? 202 00:12:51,607 --> 00:12:53,245 Business is that good, eh? 203 00:12:54,647 --> 00:12:56,524 Well, if that's the way it is. 204 00:12:56,887 --> 00:12:57,922 Goodbye. 205 00:12:59,207 --> 00:13:00,401 What's the matter, dear? 206 00:13:00,487 --> 00:13:02,842 Dr. Mbogo isn't making any more house calls. 207 00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,961 Well, we're right back where we started from. 208 00:13:07,367 --> 00:13:09,437 Well, now what in the world are we going to do? 209 00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:12,837 I should've engaged that Pygmy witch doctor when I had the chance. 210 00:13:12,927 --> 00:13:14,201 He was reliable. 211 00:13:14,567 --> 00:13:17,081 Besides, he could travel for half fare. 212 00:13:18,007 --> 00:13:20,726 This really cancels our outing, doesn't it, Gomez? 213 00:13:21,007 --> 00:13:22,122 Well... 214 00:13:22,207 --> 00:13:24,562 You mean I won't get to catch any spiders? 215 00:13:24,647 --> 00:13:26,365 I need some new ones. 216 00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:29,526 I know, darling. But we will go someday. 217 00:13:29,687 --> 00:13:32,042 MORTICIA: After all, Uncle Fester isn't feeling well. 218 00:13:32,127 --> 00:13:33,845 I'm an outing pooper. 219 00:13:44,087 --> 00:13:46,317 There's only one thing left for us to do. 220 00:13:46,407 --> 00:13:48,796 Tish, remember, please. Nothing rash. 221 00:13:48,887 --> 00:13:51,606 But I'm afraid the situation calls for it, dear. 222 00:13:51,687 --> 00:13:53,803 We'll have to call a regular doctor. 223 00:14:03,727 --> 00:14:05,604 Why, thank you, Thing. 224 00:14:06,087 --> 00:14:08,043 You're still very efficient. 225 00:14:09,487 --> 00:14:12,320 Darling, would you mind handing me the phone, please? 226 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,082 - Certainly, my dear. - Thank you. 227 00:14:24,527 --> 00:14:25,642 I'll get it. 228 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:30,361 - Dr. Milford. - This is Mrs. Addams. 229 00:14:30,967 --> 00:14:32,002 Addams. 230 00:14:32,527 --> 00:14:36,122 Yes. We have the house across the street and down the block from you. 231 00:14:37,727 --> 00:14:40,639 No, that's not empty. That's us. 232 00:14:41,487 --> 00:14:43,478 We call it our honeymoon cottage. 233 00:14:43,727 --> 00:14:46,036 Oh, yes, Mrs. Addams. Now I get you. 234 00:14:46,367 --> 00:14:47,686 What can I do for you? 235 00:14:47,767 --> 00:14:50,440 A member of our family is feeling a bit under 236 00:14:50,527 --> 00:14:52,438 and we wondered if you could stop by today? 237 00:14:52,527 --> 00:14:53,721 I'd be glad to. 238 00:14:53,807 --> 00:14:55,479 Thank you. Goodbye. 239 00:14:57,887 --> 00:14:59,559 You think we did the right thing? 240 00:14:59,647 --> 00:15:04,243 Darling, if this doctor proves inadequate, we'll send out West for a medicine man. 241 00:15:14,167 --> 00:15:15,282 Hello. 242 00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:17,766 Hello, little girl. 243 00:15:18,487 --> 00:15:20,557 This is the Addams house, isn't it? 244 00:15:20,847 --> 00:15:23,919 Are you the doctor that's going to cure Uncle Fester? 245 00:15:24,047 --> 00:15:26,402 Well, I'm certainly going to try my best. 246 00:15:26,527 --> 00:15:28,279 Where's your mask and spear? 247 00:15:28,647 --> 00:15:29,716 My what? 248 00:15:30,007 --> 00:15:32,396 The last doctor we had came like that. 249 00:15:33,727 --> 00:15:34,876 Yes, well... 250 00:15:36,007 --> 00:15:38,680 This was the best I could do on the spur of the moment. 251 00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:40,997 I hope you can cure Uncle Fester. 252 00:15:41,087 --> 00:15:43,601 He can't even make the trains go. 253 00:15:44,647 --> 00:15:45,762 Trains? 254 00:15:45,847 --> 00:15:48,441 We haven't had a good wreck all day. 255 00:15:54,447 --> 00:15:56,881 So that's what a family doctor looks like. 256 00:15:57,007 --> 00:16:00,443 He certainly doesn't inspire confidence. Not like Dr. Mbogo. 257 00:16:00,567 --> 00:16:04,765 And I'm afraid I won't be able to settle his fee for a few painted beads, either. 258 00:16:05,967 --> 00:16:07,798 What's that little black bag he's carrying? 259 00:16:07,887 --> 00:16:09,081 I don't know, dear. 260 00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:12,364 But I'm sure, because it's black, it's something to help you. 261 00:16:12,807 --> 00:16:14,843 I don't think I'm gonna like him. 262 00:16:15,287 --> 00:16:19,485 The white hair and those glasses. How un-medical can he get? 263 00:16:23,527 --> 00:16:25,438 Dr. Milford. 264 00:16:33,007 --> 00:16:34,440 How do you do, Doctor? 265 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,836 This is my lovely bride, Morticia. 266 00:16:36,927 --> 00:16:38,997 And this is our patient, Uncle Fester. 267 00:16:39,087 --> 00:16:40,600 I feel fine. Go away. 268 00:16:41,247 --> 00:16:43,715 I'm not going to harm you. 269 00:16:44,407 --> 00:16:45,840 I don't like quacks. 270 00:16:46,207 --> 00:16:47,720 You'll have to forgive him. 271 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:51,800 MORTICIA: He's used to our old family doctor. But he's busy with his tribe. 272 00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:53,081 Oh. 273 00:16:54,927 --> 00:16:56,042 Wonderful doctor. 274 00:16:56,127 --> 00:16:59,961 Cured my pneumonia by dousing me with kerosene and pouring ashes over my head. 275 00:17:00,047 --> 00:17:02,925 Sometimes the old-fashioned remedies are best. 276 00:17:04,287 --> 00:17:07,324 Well, Doctor, would you like Mrs. Addams and me to leave? 277 00:17:07,407 --> 00:17:09,716 You're not gonna leave me alone with him. 278 00:17:10,207 --> 00:17:14,086 No. That won't be necessary. Not for the moment, at least. 279 00:17:14,247 --> 00:17:16,442 All right. Make yourself comfortable. 280 00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:23,042 Doctor... 281 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,886 Now if you'll just take off your coat, I can start my examination. 282 00:17:25,967 --> 00:17:28,322 I never take my coat off. I just couldn't. 283 00:17:28,407 --> 00:17:30,045 He's really very modest. 284 00:17:31,807 --> 00:17:35,197 Well, all right. I'll try and work around it. 285 00:17:35,767 --> 00:17:36,916 Sit right here, please. 286 00:17:37,007 --> 00:17:38,838 Fester. Right. 287 00:17:40,367 --> 00:17:41,436 My dear. 288 00:17:43,767 --> 00:17:45,997 Now open your mouth and say "ah." 289 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,438 This is most unusual. 290 00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:57,558 Your tongue is bright blue. 291 00:17:57,647 --> 00:18:00,320 Blue? It's supposed to be green. 292 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:01,962 FESTER: I am sick. 293 00:18:02,167 --> 00:18:04,362 Don't worry, old boy. We'll pull you through. 294 00:18:04,447 --> 00:18:07,837 Just think about how nice it's going to be tomorrow this time. 295 00:18:08,407 --> 00:18:10,477 That's the only thing that's keeping me going. 296 00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:13,843 Hoping little Wednesday gets some nice Black Widows. 297 00:18:21,247 --> 00:18:24,125 Most unusual. Most unusual. 298 00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:30,438 Well, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to take one arm out of your coat for this test. 299 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:31,596 - Never! - But... 300 00:18:31,687 --> 00:18:32,722 No! 301 00:18:36,207 --> 00:18:39,643 Very well. I'll try it over your sleeve. 302 00:18:52,287 --> 00:18:53,561 Most unusual. 303 00:19:01,887 --> 00:19:05,243 I daresay I'll have a paper for the medical journal from this one. 304 00:19:05,327 --> 00:19:07,363 Interesting patient, isn't he, Doctor? 305 00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:08,675 Unbelievable. 306 00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:13,281 He does have some unusual methods, doesn't he? 307 00:19:13,647 --> 00:19:17,720 Yes, indeed. I wish he'd shake his rattles or yell a few times 308 00:19:17,807 --> 00:19:19,718 as Dr. Mbogo does. 309 00:19:19,807 --> 00:19:22,162 Makes you feel like he's accomplishing something. 310 00:19:22,247 --> 00:19:24,477 Will you open the front of your coat, please? 311 00:19:24,567 --> 00:19:27,365 Of course not. Not in front of Morticia. 312 00:19:27,487 --> 00:19:29,762 I'll look the other way, Uncle Fester. 313 00:19:31,447 --> 00:19:32,766 Very well. 314 00:19:44,607 --> 00:19:46,837 What is it, Doctor? Don't spare us. 315 00:19:47,007 --> 00:19:48,156 What do you think? 316 00:19:48,247 --> 00:19:50,602 I think I'd better forget the medical journal. 317 00:19:50,687 --> 00:19:52,325 Contact Believe It or Not. 318 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:56,636 I'd better take your temperature. 319 00:20:06,447 --> 00:20:08,085 GOMEZ: I took his pulse just before you got here. 320 00:20:08,167 --> 00:20:09,282 And? 321 00:20:09,447 --> 00:20:12,962 Well, either my watch has stopped or he's been dead for 20 minutes. 322 00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:16,960 He exaggerates so. 323 00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:18,846 I'm not so sure. 324 00:20:24,967 --> 00:20:26,559 Three below zero? 325 00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:30,402 By Jove, he's broken the family record. 326 00:20:30,607 --> 00:20:32,757 No wonder I felt a little bit chilly. 327 00:20:32,847 --> 00:20:34,405 I'd better close the windows. 328 00:20:34,487 --> 00:20:36,955 No, no, no, that can't be right. 329 00:20:37,047 --> 00:20:38,958 I'd better take another reading. 330 00:20:51,367 --> 00:20:52,686 It's very tasty. 331 00:20:53,727 --> 00:20:54,876 What have you done? 332 00:20:54,967 --> 00:20:56,559 I was so hungry... 333 00:20:58,367 --> 00:21:00,881 Poor dear hasn't touched a thing all day. 334 00:21:00,967 --> 00:21:04,118 Even when he does eat he can't resist those between-meal snacks. 335 00:21:04,207 --> 00:21:07,517 May I use your phone? I'll have to alert the emergency hospital. 336 00:21:07,607 --> 00:21:09,643 Hey, Doc, you got another one of those things? 337 00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:11,206 Really hits the spot. 338 00:21:11,287 --> 00:21:12,561 The thermometer? 339 00:21:12,807 --> 00:21:16,117 Do you realize you've swallowed almost a full ounce of mercury? 340 00:21:16,207 --> 00:21:17,686 Well, it's a real picker-upper. 341 00:21:17,767 --> 00:21:20,565 Now he's beginning to look like his old self again. 342 00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:21,841 He is? 343 00:21:21,927 --> 00:21:25,806 Dr. Milford, you're a genius, an absolute genius. 344 00:21:25,887 --> 00:21:27,559 - I am? - I could kiss you. 345 00:21:27,647 --> 00:21:30,719 - Please. - That was a real medical coup. 346 00:21:31,007 --> 00:21:32,440 Pure mercury with... 347 00:21:34,087 --> 00:21:38,763 Well, some of medical science's greatest discoveries have come about by accident. 348 00:21:38,847 --> 00:21:41,964 - Accident. Isn't he the modest one? - Yes. 349 00:21:42,247 --> 00:21:46,286 Doctor, before you go, we have one other patient we'd like for you to look at. 350 00:21:46,367 --> 00:21:48,835 Thing hasn't been feeling well at all lately. 351 00:21:48,927 --> 00:21:50,838 - Thing? - Yes. 352 00:21:51,447 --> 00:21:53,165 I'm all out of thermometers. 353 00:21:53,247 --> 00:21:56,444 Oh, you won't need a thermometer for Thing. This way. 354 00:22:00,447 --> 00:22:03,007 Thing, we have a surprise for you. 355 00:22:03,287 --> 00:22:07,644 Dr. Milford has cured Uncle Fester and now he wants to have a look at you. 356 00:22:16,247 --> 00:22:18,556 - What's the matter with him? - Maybe he caught what you had. 357 00:22:18,647 --> 00:22:19,682 Nonsense. 358 00:22:19,767 --> 00:22:21,917 He probably just remembered an appointment he has. 359 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:25,283 Well, he won't be able to do much without his little black bag. 360 00:22:30,487 --> 00:22:32,000 Hey, these are tasty. 361 00:22:33,887 --> 00:22:37,596 You know, calling a family doctor is like having your own delicatessen. 362 00:22:38,767 --> 00:22:41,201 I suppose that lets out Dr. Mbogo. 363 00:22:41,327 --> 00:22:44,444 It certainly does. Unless it's something really serious. 364 00:22:59,687 --> 00:23:03,202 Darling, isn't it wonderful that Thing wasn't really sick? 365 00:23:03,367 --> 00:23:06,404 Just depressed over our having to cancel our outing. 366 00:23:06,607 --> 00:23:08,165 Quite so, cara mía. 367 00:23:08,487 --> 00:23:10,717 Thing always has the family's interests at heart. 368 00:23:10,807 --> 00:23:13,560 Back to your usual jolly yourself again, eh, Thing? 369 00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:23,839 Looks like you're planning something special for us, Uncle Fester. 370 00:23:23,927 --> 00:23:27,317 This will be the greatest family outing we've ever had. Watch. 371 00:23:33,807 --> 00:23:36,401 Bravo! Bravo, Uncle Fester. 372 00:23:36,487 --> 00:23:38,842 You've really outdone yourself this time. 373 00:23:38,967 --> 00:23:42,676 From now on, Uncle Fester, no more Christmas trees. 374 00:23:42,887 --> 00:23:44,684 We'll hang everything on you.