1
00:00:16,807 --> 00:00:18,843
<i>They're creepy and they're kooky</i>

2
00:00:18,927 --> 00:00:20,758
<i>Mysterious and spooky</i>

3
00:00:20,847 --> 00:00:22,678
<i>They're altogether ooky</i>

4
00:00:22,767 --> 00:00:24,644
<i>The Addams family</i>

5
00:00:24,727 --> 00:00:26,604
<i>The house is a museum</i>

6
00:00:26,687 --> 00:00:28,484
<i>When people come to see 'em</i>

7
00:00:28,567 --> 00:00:30,398
<i>They really are a scream</i>

8
00:00:30,487 --> 00:00:32,045
<i>The Addams family</i>

9
00:00:33,327 --> 00:00:34,316
<i>Neat.</i>

10
00:00:34,967 --> 00:00:35,956
<i>Sweet.</i>

11
00:00:38,807 --> 00:00:39,796
<i>Petite.</i>

12
00:00:39,887 --> 00:00:41,764
<i>So get a witch's shawl on</i>

13
00:00:41,847 --> 00:00:43,678
<i>A broomstick you can crawl on</i>

14
00:00:43,767 --> 00:00:45,598
<i>We're gonna pay a call on</i>

15
00:00:45,687 --> 00:00:48,247
<i>The Addams family</i>

16
00:01:53,567 --> 00:01:57,355
Querida mía. Such grace, such beauty.

17
00:01:58,487 --> 00:02:01,604
For you I die happily.

18
00:02:03,647 --> 00:02:06,207
MORTICIA: Uncle Fester doesn't seem
to be very much impressed.

19
00:02:06,287 --> 00:02:09,597
Same old humdrum.
Nothing new ever happens around here.

20
00:02:10,127 --> 00:02:11,765
Oh, come, Uncle Fester.

21
00:02:11,847 --> 00:02:15,635
Cousin Nanook sent us
that lovely new totem pole for Christmas.

22
00:02:17,487 --> 00:02:21,480
And he asked for our bear in return.
He's a real Eskimo giver.

23
00:02:22,127 --> 00:02:24,880
Would you like to take the vulture
for a little stroll?

24
00:02:24,967 --> 00:02:27,720
- She seems to take to humans.
- Her favorite food.

25
00:02:30,167 --> 00:02:34,683
I think I need a change. A trip, maybe.

26
00:02:35,127 --> 00:02:38,005
Oh, I think that's a very good idea.
Don't you, Gomez?

27
00:02:38,087 --> 00:02:39,839
I do indeed.

28
00:02:40,447 --> 00:02:43,245
It's been a long time
since we've had a family outing.

29
00:02:43,327 --> 00:02:45,443
Will you ever forget the fun
we had on that picnic?

30
00:02:45,527 --> 00:02:48,837
What a lovely spot for a picnic.
Devil's Island.

31
00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:53,279
There must be some...
How about the tar pits?

32
00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:57,280
Now, Uncle Fester, every time we go near
those tar pits, you go wild.

33
00:02:57,367 --> 00:02:59,437
It is a fun place, isn't it?

34
00:03:00,607 --> 00:03:03,075
What's new? What is new?

35
00:03:03,607 --> 00:03:07,885
I suppose Death Valley has been overrun
with tourists since we first discovered it.

36
00:03:08,727 --> 00:03:11,844
Yes, darling. Listen, why don't we
go to Quanta La Gustra?

37
00:03:12,287 --> 00:03:14,517
Quanta La Gustra?

38
00:03:14,847 --> 00:03:16,599
Darling, that's the innkeeper's name.

39
00:03:16,687 --> 00:03:17,722
Oh?

40
00:03:18,527 --> 00:03:20,995
Oh, how disappointing.
It did sound romantic.

41
00:03:22,207 --> 00:03:24,641
It's a problem.
We've been most everywhere.

42
00:03:25,287 --> 00:03:27,118
We've never been to the moon.

43
00:03:27,967 --> 00:03:29,639
That's true, we haven't.

44
00:03:29,727 --> 00:03:32,446
<i>It would be beguiling
to be on the moon with you, cara mia.</i>

45
00:03:32,527 --> 00:03:35,246
Especially if we landed on the dark side.

46
00:03:36,047 --> 00:03:37,639
Darling.

47
00:03:37,727 --> 00:03:40,116
But isn't that a bit far to go
for a holiday trip?

48
00:03:40,207 --> 00:03:42,675
Well, we wouldn't run
into the same old faces.

49
00:03:42,887 --> 00:03:44,240
That's true.

50
00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:48,277
- It could be rather costly.
- All we need is a spaceship.

51
00:03:49,007 --> 00:03:51,601
We could go to the playroom
and find out to the penny.

52
00:03:51,687 --> 00:03:54,599
All we have to do is consult the computer
that Pugsley and I built.

53
00:03:54,687 --> 00:03:58,396
Yeah, Wizzo knows everything.
Even told me how to cure my baldness.

54
00:03:58,927 --> 00:04:01,316
- Is it working?
- No, but it cured my cough.

55
00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:04,120
Darling, shall we?

56
00:04:04,207 --> 00:04:07,438
It's such a comfort to have a machine
do our thinking for us.

57
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:12,799
Wizzo is a highly scientific instrument,
Uncle Fester.

58
00:04:14,367 --> 00:04:19,282
It deals in facts. You have to feed it
specific, accurate data. Like this.

59
00:04:20,967 --> 00:04:25,324
End result desired.
Cost of manned flight to the moon.

60
00:04:26,607 --> 00:04:27,756
Elements.

61
00:04:30,087 --> 00:04:31,600
GOMEZ: Load.

62
00:04:32,127 --> 00:04:33,401
Thrust.

63
00:04:33,487 --> 00:04:34,761
Orbit.

64
00:04:34,847 --> 00:04:36,565
Act achieved. Plus.

65
00:04:36,967 --> 00:04:39,037
Well expected.

66
00:04:39,127 --> 00:04:41,163
Ampersand.

67
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:43,522
Tuner. Silencer cap.

68
00:04:43,607 --> 00:04:47,202
- What's he saying?
- Wizzo only knows, dear.

69
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,084
That horn stopper.

70
00:04:51,567 --> 00:04:54,479
Half mile prep ratio. Mark up.

71
00:04:55,767 --> 00:04:57,280
"S." Plus.

72
00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:03,280
Seeing to the launching pad.

73
00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:06,006
And coffee to your milk in-flight.

74
00:05:06,767 --> 00:05:08,962
It goes double first cabin all the way.

75
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:12,562
- Hey, it's gonna blow up!
- No, no, dear. Wizzo's just thinking.

76
00:05:12,927 --> 00:05:14,838
He sure thinks loud.

77
00:05:17,487 --> 00:05:20,479
The computer is carefully digesting
all pertinent data.

78
00:05:33,287 --> 00:05:34,845
That's the sound of success.

79
00:05:34,927 --> 00:05:38,556
Our answer on the cost of rocketing
to the moon will soon be here.

80
00:05:46,927 --> 00:05:48,485
Thank you, dear.

81
00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:53,680
Knows its manners.

82
00:05:56,287 --> 00:05:59,085
Darling, this isn't too expensive.

83
00:05:59,167 --> 00:06:02,477
It's just $21.13 over a billion.

84
00:06:04,087 --> 00:06:06,123
It's a shade more than I expected.

85
00:06:06,327 --> 00:06:09,399
Oh, I'll do my part.
I'll come up with the $21.13.

86
00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:14,123
As a matter of fact, I don't even know
how much I have on hand right now.

87
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:17,438
Since I put all my finances
in Mr. Hulen's hands,

88
00:06:17,527 --> 00:06:18,562
he's been handling everything.

89
00:06:19,207 --> 00:06:22,119
A vacation trip to the moon?

90
00:06:22,687 --> 00:06:25,247
Oh, it does sound enchanting, doesn't it?

91
00:06:25,367 --> 00:06:27,881
I can hardly wait
to capture it all on canvas.

92
00:06:28,207 --> 00:06:29,925
How do you like my moon hat?

93
00:06:30,167 --> 00:06:32,601
Wait till Hedda Hopper gets a load of this.

94
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:42,401
- Well, it's all settled.
- No, it is not settled.

95
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,997
Do you realize what it would cost
to send a spaceship to the moon?

96
00:06:46,327 --> 00:06:50,161
Well, of course. We don't just jump
into these things, you know.

97
00:06:50,527 --> 00:06:52,961
Here is a feature story in today's paper

98
00:06:53,047 --> 00:06:56,483
about the cost to our country
of their space program. Read it.

99
00:06:56,647 --> 00:07:00,481
Wow! "Daily double pays $17,000."

100
00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:02,876
No, no, not that. This.

101
00:07:03,247 --> 00:07:07,001
Read it.
It's there in black and white. Billions!

102
00:07:07,367 --> 00:07:09,961
Oh dear,
perhaps we are being a bit extravagant.

103
00:07:10,047 --> 00:07:12,003
You may be right, querida.

104
00:07:12,087 --> 00:07:15,523
Well, we can do without the limousine
and the forensicaffer.

105
00:07:15,607 --> 00:07:17,916
- What's a forensicaffer, dear?
- Who knows?

106
00:07:18,927 --> 00:07:22,681
Hey. Did you know
Little Orphan Annie's got no eyeballs?

107
00:07:23,047 --> 00:07:24,639
That's part of her charm.

108
00:07:24,727 --> 00:07:29,278
Will you please stick to the issue?
All this moon talk is absolutely absurd.

109
00:07:29,367 --> 00:07:31,085
Now hold on there, Mr. Hulen.

110
00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:33,920
My own personal computer claims
that a trip to the moon

111
00:07:34,007 --> 00:07:38,444
would cost only one billion,
21 dollars and 13 cents.

112
00:07:38,727 --> 00:07:41,241
Yeah, and I'm putting up the $21.13.

113
00:07:41,647 --> 00:07:43,717
He just insists on doing his share.

114
00:07:44,207 --> 00:07:45,959
Oh, well, that's just dandy.

115
00:07:46,087 --> 00:07:48,647
But you're a trifle short on that billion.

116
00:07:48,767 --> 00:07:52,043
- What's a trifle?
- This happens to be a very big trifle.

117
00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:55,765
There must be some way
to pick up that kind of money.

118
00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:59,842
I've got it. We'll invent something
that costs a dime to make,

119
00:07:59,927 --> 00:08:02,077
sells for a dollar, and is habit-forming.

120
00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:06,759
No, I don't think so, dear.
Habit-forming is a bad habit.

121
00:08:06,847 --> 00:08:10,965
Well, now we're getting somewhere.
If you get any other bright schemes...

122
00:08:11,047 --> 00:08:14,403
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Please, please. I've had a very trying day.

123
00:08:14,487 --> 00:08:19,117
Now look, that daily double thing
paid $17,000 on only two winning horses.

124
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,242
Nice yield.

125
00:08:20,327 --> 00:08:23,364
Now, what will happen
if we pick eight winners every day,

126
00:08:23,447 --> 00:08:25,278
for, say, a whole month?

127
00:08:25,447 --> 00:08:27,005
How much would that be?

128
00:08:32,007 --> 00:08:34,726
- Way over a billion.
- Over? Good.

129
00:08:34,807 --> 00:08:36,957
Then you wouldn't need my $21.13.

130
00:08:37,047 --> 00:08:40,119
Will you please forget this moon business?

131
00:08:40,207 --> 00:08:43,882
I tell you, it's impractical,
imprudent and absolutely impossible.

132
00:08:44,087 --> 00:08:47,204
Mr. Hulen, are you trying
to discourage us?

133
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,965
I certainly am.

134
00:08:49,047 --> 00:08:52,005
Don't beat around the bush.
Just answer yes or no.

135
00:08:53,287 --> 00:08:56,802
Look, it's tough enough
to hit a daily double.

136
00:08:57,407 --> 00:09:00,479
To pick eight winners in a row
is almost impossible.

137
00:09:00,687 --> 00:09:06,045
But to pick them
for 30 days is utterly preposterous.

138
00:09:06,127 --> 00:09:08,243
- Are you sure?
- Positive.

139
00:09:08,327 --> 00:09:09,680
What a challenge.

140
00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:13,762
Dear Gomez,
he has an absolute flair for failure.

141
00:09:14,007 --> 00:09:15,838
Well, he's a cinch.

142
00:09:15,927 --> 00:09:18,646
Nobody could even begin
to pick that many winners.

143
00:09:19,207 --> 00:09:22,836
- Wizzo could.
- Why, of course. Wizzo.

144
00:09:22,927 --> 00:09:25,805
Why, he could do it with 20 watts tied
behind his back.

145
00:09:25,887 --> 00:09:28,321
We could put the money to wonderful use.

146
00:09:28,407 --> 00:09:31,365
Build a haven
for Ionely and unwanted bats.

147
00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:33,881
Help preserve our beautiful swamplands.

148
00:09:33,967 --> 00:09:37,277
Endow a University chair in witchcraft
and other fine arts.

149
00:09:37,447 --> 00:09:42,316
That's all very uplifting, of course.
But it's still gambling.

150
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,637
This is no time for negativism, old boy.

151
00:09:44,727 --> 00:09:46,638
As soon as Wizzo picks the right horses,

152
00:09:46,727 --> 00:09:48,797
you'll get out to the track
and start the ball rolling.

153
00:09:48,887 --> 00:09:54,086
You couldn't catch me putting $2
on any horse anytime.

154
00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:57,844
$2? That's buzzardfeed.

155
00:09:57,927 --> 00:10:00,521
How about $2,000? As a starter.

156
00:10:01,287 --> 00:10:03,198
$2,000?

157
00:10:03,607 --> 00:10:07,156
In other words, darling, you take
the money that we win on the first race

158
00:10:07,247 --> 00:10:09,966
and then bet it on the second.
Is that the plan, dear?

159
00:10:10,047 --> 00:10:13,164
- Exactly.
- Very clever, mon cher.

160
00:10:13,407 --> 00:10:16,638
Oh, Tish, that French.
It goes right through me.

161
00:10:18,727 --> 00:10:21,161
- Speak some more.
- Darling, we have company.

162
00:10:21,247 --> 00:10:22,726
Just a few words.

163
00:10:22,807 --> 00:10:24,240
Soup du jour.

164
00:10:24,807 --> 00:10:28,641
Inky dinky parlez- vous. Moulin Rouge.
Anything.

165
00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:32,318
Very well, darling.
L 'amour, toujours I'amour.

166
00:10:35,727 --> 00:10:39,356
Thank you, Tish. That was beautiful.
Now where were we?

167
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:42,162
- We were winning a lot of money.
- Oh, yes!

168
00:10:42,567 --> 00:10:44,523
We bet with Wizzo, and one month hence

169
00:10:44,607 --> 00:10:47,326
we'll have an extra billion
to knick and knack around with.

170
00:10:47,407 --> 00:10:51,878
Let's see. I seem to recall having
an extra couple of thousand to bet with

171
00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:53,161
kicking around here somewhere.

172
00:10:53,247 --> 00:10:54,521
Yes.

173
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,005
Thank you, Thing.

174
00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:04,679
Here we are, Mr. Hulen. $2,000.

175
00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:08,722
Not only cold cash but a little moldy, too.

176
00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:17,082
Well, you seem quite intent upon
following through with this madness.

177
00:11:17,207 --> 00:11:20,961
Nevertheless, I would like to leave you
with these few words,

178
00:11:21,407 --> 00:11:24,763
"Gambling is the disease of barbarians."
Shakespeare.

179
00:11:25,247 --> 00:11:28,239
"It's the vice of knaves and fools."
Benjamin Franklin.

180
00:11:28,807 --> 00:11:34,404
And, "This whole scheme
is absolutely nutty." Ralph J. Hulen.

181
00:11:37,207 --> 00:11:39,038
What a scholar.

182
00:11:39,127 --> 00:11:42,199
How fortunate to have him
as our investment counselor.

183
00:11:42,287 --> 00:11:43,561
And bookie.

184
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:49,444
Darling, a glove for Thing.

185
00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:53,324
No, dear.
It's a sweater for Pugsley's octopus.

186
00:12:05,087 --> 00:12:08,363
Yes, sir. Oh, Mr. Hulen,
you just missed a call from Mr. Addams.

187
00:12:08,447 --> 00:12:11,041
That is the best thing
that's happened all day.

188
00:12:11,167 --> 00:12:14,477
With a list of the horses
a Mr. Wizzo seems to have picked.

189
00:12:14,847 --> 00:12:16,917
So, since you'll be at the track all day,
I'll just...

190
00:12:17,007 --> 00:12:19,237
Their money is going to stay
right in my pocket.

191
00:12:19,327 --> 00:12:21,045
And when that first horse loses,

192
00:12:21,127 --> 00:12:23,687
they're going to be grateful to me
that I didn't throw it away.

193
00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:27,965
- But Mr. Hulen, the first four races...
- This firm does not gamble.

194
00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:30,607
We're a sound, conservative
investment institution.

195
00:12:30,687 --> 00:12:31,836
Yes, Mr. Hulen.

196
00:12:31,927 --> 00:12:35,283
But, sir, perhaps you'd better just check
the races on the radio. Just to be sure.

197
00:12:35,367 --> 00:12:38,200
- It's a waste of time.
- Please, Mr. Hulen.

198
00:12:39,567 --> 00:12:40,841
All right.

199
00:12:42,047 --> 00:12:44,277
The fifth race should be on.
They've picked Nellie Bee.

200
00:12:44,367 --> 00:12:47,006
<i>ANNOUNCER ON RADIO: It was a driving
finish, and the winner is Nellie Bee</i>

201
00:12:47,087 --> 00:12:49,726
<i>with English Gal second in the race.</i>

202
00:12:49,807 --> 00:12:51,399
That's five straight.

203
00:12:52,887 --> 00:12:54,957
- Five straight?
- Oh, yes.

204
00:12:55,047 --> 00:12:59,086
If you'd thrown away their money,
they'd now be winning $480,000.

205
00:13:00,527 --> 00:13:02,165
Give me an aspirin.

206
00:13:02,727 --> 00:13:04,877
Kind of felt you'd be asking for one.

207
00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:09,843
If Wise Guy wins the next race,
we'll owe them $2,850,000.

208
00:13:09,927 --> 00:13:11,724
- Who asked you?
- But...

209
00:13:11,807 --> 00:13:14,401
Well, I'll just have to go to the Addamses,

210
00:13:14,487 --> 00:13:18,036
apologize,
and then tell them I didn't place their bets.

211
00:13:18,327 --> 00:13:21,922
What if they won't accept your apology?
What if they demand their money?

212
00:13:22,007 --> 00:13:26,000
- What then?
- Simple. I'll shoot myself.

213
00:13:50,647 --> 00:13:51,841
<i>ANNOUNCER: Coming down to
the line of finish now,</i>

214
00:13:51,927 --> 00:13:53,485
<i>it's Oh For The Boy and Fleet O' Foot.</i>

215
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:54,795
FESTER: Come on, Fleet O' Foot.

216
00:13:54,887 --> 00:13:57,242
<i>Fleet O' Foot is going to the front
by a head.</i>

217
00:13:57,327 --> 00:14:01,286
<i>Now a neck, and it's Fleet O' Foot,
the winner by a furlong.</i>

218
00:14:02,207 --> 00:14:04,641
He did it. Good old Fleet O' Foot!

219
00:14:06,607 --> 00:14:08,882
I... I need a drink.

220
00:14:19,287 --> 00:14:22,006
- Isn't this marvelous?
- How much have we won?

221
00:14:22,087 --> 00:14:26,842
<i>Prices on the sixth race.
Fleet O' Foot paid $6 to win, $4.40 to place.</i>

222
00:14:26,927 --> 00:14:28,565
<i>and $2.80 to show.</i>

223
00:14:28,647 --> 00:14:30,444
That means we now have...

224
00:14:37,687 --> 00:14:39,279
Mr. Hulen!

225
00:14:39,687 --> 00:14:41,678
You look really happy for us.

226
00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:45,681
Mr. Hulen, just think,
we've already won over $7 million.

227
00:14:45,767 --> 00:14:48,361
There must be some mistake.

228
00:14:48,447 --> 00:14:49,596
Oh?

229
00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:01,405
You were right, Mr. Hulen,
there was a mistake.

230
00:15:02,207 --> 00:15:03,242
Yes.

231
00:15:03,327 --> 00:15:06,125
Hey, aren't you supposed to be out
on the track placing bets for us?

232
00:15:06,207 --> 00:15:08,846
Uncle Fester,
important men like Mr. Hulen

233
00:15:08,927 --> 00:15:13,125
don't go running errands at the track.
That's for the staff. Right, Mr. Hulen?

234
00:15:13,767 --> 00:15:16,998
Oh, yes. Yeah.

235
00:15:17,847 --> 00:15:20,202
Oh, well, that brings up
an interesting thought.

236
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:24,121
Now let's suppose,
this is a hypothetical case of course,

237
00:15:24,207 --> 00:15:30,043
but let's suppose that your investment
counselor hadn't placed any bets?

238
00:15:30,127 --> 00:15:33,324
Hadn't placed any bets? Where's my gun?

239
00:15:33,607 --> 00:15:36,917
- I'd shoot him in the back.
- Now, now, Uncle Fester.

240
00:15:37,007 --> 00:15:40,556
This is an imaginary situation.
Isn't that right, Mr. Hulen?

241
00:15:40,647 --> 00:15:42,683
Yes, of course.

242
00:15:43,727 --> 00:15:46,195
But what would you do?

243
00:15:46,567 --> 00:15:49,365
Since gambling bets
aren't enforceable by law...

244
00:15:49,447 --> 00:15:52,439
Never mind about that.
I'd shoot him in the back.

245
00:15:52,567 --> 00:15:55,843
- Wouldn't that be rather drastic?
- For betrayal of trust?

246
00:15:55,927 --> 00:15:57,883
Violation of professional ethics?

247
00:15:57,967 --> 00:15:59,958
Shooting in the back
would be too good for him.

248
00:16:00,047 --> 00:16:02,402
No, I think it'd be about right.

249
00:16:03,007 --> 00:16:07,159
- What do you think, Mr. Hulen?
- I think it's a little warm in here.

250
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,435
- Mr. Hulen, you need a drink.
- Yes... No, no!

251
00:16:11,647 --> 00:16:14,878
You know, I think all of this talk
of gambling has upset Mr. Hulen.

252
00:16:14,967 --> 00:16:16,480
And I don't blame him.

253
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:20,806
- There's something evil about it.
- Yes, it's just terrible.

254
00:16:20,887 --> 00:16:23,879
I think for his sake we ought
to stop gambling, Gomez.

255
00:16:23,967 --> 00:16:25,878
<i>You may be right, querida.</i>

256
00:16:26,047 --> 00:16:28,003
All right, Mr. Hulen,
we're taking your advice.

257
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:31,124
- From now on, no more betting.
- Oh, thank heaven.

258
00:16:31,207 --> 00:16:33,801
Now, if you'll just hand over the $8 million.

259
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:37,039
- $8 million?
- Well, you can keep the change.

260
00:16:37,127 --> 00:16:39,960
You know, you were right, Gomez.
Especially after I read

261
00:16:40,047 --> 00:16:41,958
<i>what The Handicapper says
about our horse.</i>

262
00:16:42,047 --> 00:16:44,720
Granny's Lover. 100 to 1.

263
00:16:44,807 --> 00:16:47,401
"Fell down, starting gate, Memorial Day.

264
00:16:47,487 --> 00:16:50,126
"Pulled up lame last time out. A real dog."

265
00:16:50,207 --> 00:16:52,880
You know,
we could have blown our whole bankroll.

266
00:16:53,127 --> 00:16:56,437
Mr. Hulen, it was very lucky
that you came along when you did.

267
00:16:56,567 --> 00:17:00,685
- Lucky? For whom?
- For us, old boy.

268
00:17:00,927 --> 00:17:05,045
And I can tell by your expression that
that's all you really care about.

269
00:17:06,447 --> 00:17:09,245
Such loyalty. Hits you right here.

270
00:17:09,607 --> 00:17:11,279
Okay, eight million bucks.

271
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:14,359
It's locked in my safe at the office.

272
00:17:14,447 --> 00:17:17,439
We'll go down with you. We can start
handing some of it out on the way back.

273
00:17:17,527 --> 00:17:20,121
Well, could you hand some of it
out to me now?

274
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:23,995
Why, of course we could, Mr. Hulen.
How much would you like?

275
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:25,606
$8 million.

276
00:17:25,767 --> 00:17:27,917
Mr. Hulen, have you been gambling?

277
00:17:29,767 --> 00:17:31,086
A hypocrite.

278
00:17:31,487 --> 00:17:33,478
I still think betting is wrong.

279
00:17:33,687 --> 00:17:36,121
Especially a dog who hasn't won a race
for four years.

280
00:17:36,207 --> 00:17:38,402
It'd be like throwing the money away.

281
00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:43,004
That's right. But you can't quit now.
You're on a winning streak.

282
00:17:43,287 --> 00:17:45,801
Mr. Hulen, how can you say things
like that?

283
00:17:46,047 --> 00:17:48,607
Easy, remember? I'm a hypocrite.

284
00:17:49,127 --> 00:17:51,516
- Oh, yes.
- But this horse is lame.

285
00:17:51,687 --> 00:17:53,678
Excuses. Excuses.

286
00:17:53,767 --> 00:17:56,122
Well, that's just a dodge
to drive the price up.

287
00:17:56,207 --> 00:17:57,845
100 to 1. That's not bad.

288
00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:01,078
Are you sure you're not a tout?

289
00:18:01,327 --> 00:18:05,957
- Where's the old Addams spirit?
- Right in your safe. With that $8 million.

290
00:18:06,367 --> 00:18:10,155
You can't back out now,
it would be immoral.

291
00:18:10,247 --> 00:18:14,240
Mr. Hulen, you're very kind
to be concerned about us.

292
00:18:14,647 --> 00:18:16,956
But we can see how
all this is upsetting you.

293
00:18:17,047 --> 00:18:21,404
You were quite right when you said,
"Gambling is a disease of barbarians."

294
00:18:21,487 --> 00:18:24,638
Well, I didn't say that. Shakespeare said it.

295
00:18:24,807 --> 00:18:26,206
You quoted him.

296
00:18:26,287 --> 00:18:28,357
Well, you know me. Big mouth.

297
00:18:30,007 --> 00:18:32,601
And what about your dream?
The trip to the moon.

298
00:18:32,687 --> 00:18:35,042
- It was a momentary whim.
- Whim?

299
00:18:35,127 --> 00:18:39,325
Oh, a trip to the moon
can be, well, a liberal education.

300
00:18:39,647 --> 00:18:41,478
- That's true.
- Of course.

301
00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:43,762
- Still...
- No still about it.

302
00:18:44,007 --> 00:18:45,918
Everybody should have a trip to the moon.

303
00:18:46,007 --> 00:18:48,157
I like your spirit, Hulen.

304
00:18:48,247 --> 00:18:51,000
You're not making much sense,
but I like your spirit.

305
00:18:51,207 --> 00:18:52,322
So do I.

306
00:18:52,567 --> 00:18:54,956
Darling, let's make one more bet.

307
00:18:55,287 --> 00:18:59,439
- Just as a favor to Mr. Hulen.
- Oh, thank you, thank you.

308
00:18:59,807 --> 00:19:02,560
My man's at the track
and he knows just what to do.

309
00:19:03,167 --> 00:19:04,805
There goes $8 million.

310
00:19:05,407 --> 00:19:08,604
What's $8 million when you got
a business manager like Mr. Hulen?

311
00:19:08,687 --> 00:19:12,282
$8 million. Oh, the race is on television.
I'll get it on.

312
00:19:18,767 --> 00:19:22,806
<i>ANNOUNCER: They're on.
It's Banner in front. Toby's Boy is second.</i>

313
00:19:22,887 --> 00:19:26,596
<i>Joey Belle is third by two lengths.
Darling Debby is fourth.</i>

314
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:30,077
Granny's Lover didn't even get started.
Get moving, you ox.

315
00:19:30,287 --> 00:19:32,323
Don't stand there, stupid, run!

316
00:19:32,407 --> 00:19:37,083
Uncle Fester, please,
I do not like crude talk, even to horses.

317
00:19:38,127 --> 00:19:40,038
Would you mind moving, sir?

318
00:19:40,127 --> 00:19:41,719
<i>Granny's Lover trailing.</i>

319
00:19:45,647 --> 00:19:48,207
Mr. Hulen, you don't seem to understand.
Our horse is losing.

320
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:50,118
- Yes.
- That's bad.

321
00:19:50,447 --> 00:19:52,915
Oh, yes, yes, of course.

322
00:19:55,167 --> 00:19:57,476
Poor Mr. Hulen,
I don't think he knows what's going on.

323
00:19:57,567 --> 00:19:59,046
State of shock.

324
00:19:59,687 --> 00:20:03,726
<i>At the mile turn it's Toby's Boy by a head.
Banner is second to half.</i>

325
00:20:03,807 --> 00:20:07,561
<i>Joey Belle third on the outside.
Darling Debby is fourth the length.</i>

326
00:20:07,647 --> 00:20:09,478
<i>And here comes Granny's Lover.</i>

327
00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:12,479
He heard me. He heard me. He heard me!

328
00:20:12,567 --> 00:20:14,444
Ride it, you old rascal!

329
00:20:14,527 --> 00:20:16,597
You gave Mr. Hulen such a fright.

330
00:20:16,887 --> 00:20:18,923
Come on, something.

331
00:20:19,607 --> 00:20:21,802
<i>Granny's Lover is fifth!</i>

332
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,685
<i>He's fourth! He's third!</i>

333
00:20:25,047 --> 00:20:27,959
Mr. Hulen, do you hear?
Our horse is gaining.

334
00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:30,119
Cheer up, old man.

335
00:20:31,727 --> 00:20:35,083
Somehow I have the feeling that
Mr. Hulen is not enjoying this race.

336
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:37,158
The excitement is too much for him.

337
00:20:37,247 --> 00:20:39,556
- I'd better turn it off.
- No, no, don't please.

338
00:20:39,647 --> 00:20:41,239
I couldn't stand the suspense.

339
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:45,286
<i>Joey Belle and Granny's Lover.
Joey Belle and Granny's Lover.</i>

340
00:20:45,367 --> 00:20:46,959
<i>Joey Belle and Granny's Lover.</i>

341
00:20:47,047 --> 00:20:50,483
<i>Granny's Lover on the outside
is going to the front. He's driving!</i>

342
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:56,403
<i>Joey Belle's on the move.
Here he comes. He's moving up again.</i>

343
00:20:56,527 --> 00:20:58,836
<i>Head and head.
Joey Belle and Granny's Lover.</i>

344
00:20:58,927 --> 00:21:01,521
<i>- They're heading for the wire.
- Heading for the wire?</i>

345
00:21:01,607 --> 00:21:03,598
Shouldn't they finish the race first?

346
00:21:03,687 --> 00:21:06,520
<i>That's just an expression, querida.
Pay no attention.</i>

347
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:10,445
- Come on.
- I can't bear to watch.

348
00:21:11,967 --> 00:21:13,480
<i>They're nose and nose!</i>

349
00:21:13,567 --> 00:21:15,239
I can't even bear to listen.

350
00:21:15,327 --> 00:21:17,158
<i>And the winner is...</i>

351
00:21:19,207 --> 00:21:20,640
<i>Granny's Lover!</i>

352
00:21:24,847 --> 00:21:26,121
Mr. Hulen?

353
00:21:31,047 --> 00:21:32,241
Mr. Hulen?

354
00:21:32,767 --> 00:21:36,919
That Hulen, can you imagine?
Going to sleep during that race?

355
00:21:37,647 --> 00:21:40,286
Darling, let's wake him up
and tell him the good news.

356
00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:41,641
Mr. Hulen?

357
00:21:43,287 --> 00:21:47,883
- The race is over.
- Did Joey Belle win?

358
00:21:48,207 --> 00:21:50,482
Granny's Lover finally came through.

359
00:21:53,247 --> 00:21:55,363
<i>ANNOUNCER ON TV:
Just a moment, ladies and gentlemen.</i>

360
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:58,121
I don't like the way he said that.

361
00:21:58,207 --> 00:22:02,439
<i>Granny's Lover has been disqualified
for crowding, shoving and kicking.</i>

362
00:22:02,527 --> 00:22:05,519
How ridiculous. What else do they expect
from a horse?

363
00:22:06,487 --> 00:22:09,763
Well, I guess we'd better wake Mr. Hulen
and break the news to him.

364
00:22:09,847 --> 00:22:13,601
Let him sleep, darling.
Poor man will be so disappointed.

365
00:22:13,687 --> 00:22:15,325
Serves him right, the tout.

366
00:22:24,887 --> 00:22:28,436
Well, there's one consolation.
It's still a nice round figure.

367
00:22:39,287 --> 00:22:41,039
I'm glad we didn't go to the moon.

368
00:22:41,567 --> 00:22:43,762
Yeah, I found out that there's no fish
on the moon.

369
00:22:43,847 --> 00:22:47,157
We need some new fish for our aquarium.
Ours ate each other up.

370
00:22:47,807 --> 00:22:51,038
Oh, Gomez, the children
will be so disappointed.

371
00:22:51,127 --> 00:22:53,083
You know how they love their pet piranha.

372
00:22:53,167 --> 00:22:55,442
Think no more about it, my dear.

373
00:22:57,047 --> 00:23:00,676
There's always one man who's ready
to help us with our problems.

374
00:23:01,567 --> 00:23:02,795
Mr. Hulen.

375
00:23:05,327 --> 00:23:07,841
Hello, Mr. Hulen? Addams here.

376
00:23:08,447 --> 00:23:12,759
I just called to tell you that I'm taking
my family on a nice, long cruise.

377
00:23:13,287 --> 00:23:14,766
You are a darling.

378
00:23:16,247 --> 00:23:19,284
We're going to gather some fish
for our children's collection.

379
00:23:19,367 --> 00:23:20,686
New ones.

380
00:23:21,047 --> 00:23:23,277
Have to go deeper and deeper, you know.

381
00:23:23,447 --> 00:23:27,156
So would you be a good chap
and run out and buy us a submarine?

382
00:23:27,967 --> 00:23:29,923
With nuclear power, of course.

383
00:23:31,647 --> 00:23:33,000
Mr. Hulen?

384
00:23:34,527 --> 00:23:35,755
Hulen?

385
00:23:36,927 --> 00:23:39,282
By Jove, I think he's fallen asleep again.

386
00:23:40,727 --> 00:23:44,117
Strange man.
Nothing seems to excite him.