1 00:01:02,447 --> 00:01:05,996 It's all very simple, children. All you need is 20/20 vision, 2 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:09,364 nerves of steel, and absolutely perfect coordination. 3 00:01:09,447 --> 00:01:10,721 Like this. 4 00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:18,321 You also need an indomitable spirit. 5 00:01:22,927 --> 00:01:25,885 That's the safe way to make a basket. Once more. 6 00:01:29,647 --> 00:01:32,207 - Oh, that was a nice toss, darling. - Thank you. 7 00:01:32,287 --> 00:01:33,845 Thank you, Lurch. 8 00:01:39,927 --> 00:01:43,237 Querida! Perfect. Exactly the way I taught you. 9 00:01:43,327 --> 00:01:45,557 And that's the way I want you to do it, too. 10 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,842 Children, we'll have another lesson tomorrow. 11 00:01:47,927 --> 00:01:50,999 - You're a good teacher. - Thank you, Father. 12 00:01:53,087 --> 00:01:55,203 Cara mia, stop right there. 13 00:01:55,447 --> 00:01:58,439 Oh, but darling, I must take this plant down to the playroom. 14 00:01:58,527 --> 00:02:01,519 I don't see a plant. I see a rare flower. 15 00:02:02,127 --> 00:02:03,196 You. 16 00:02:03,367 --> 00:02:06,916 - My lovely black orchid. - Oh, Gomez, darling. 17 00:02:07,567 --> 00:02:11,958 Your Castilian blood courses through your veins so gloriously. 18 00:02:14,487 --> 00:02:16,205 Oh, that's terrible. 19 00:02:16,287 --> 00:02:17,800 Morticia doesn't seem to think so. 20 00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:20,355 No, I'm talking about this article. 21 00:02:20,767 --> 00:02:24,362 "The Danger of a Happy Marriage" by Dr. Francois Chalon, 22 00:02:24,447 --> 00:02:25,641 the eminent psychologist. 23 00:02:25,847 --> 00:02:28,520 - Danger? In a happy marriage? - You bet. 24 00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:32,156 This fellow says that, "Married couples who seem ideally mated 25 00:02:32,247 --> 00:02:37,162 "and perfectly attuned are really miserable, emotional messes underneath." 26 00:02:37,807 --> 00:02:39,559 Well, the poor things. 27 00:02:39,647 --> 00:02:42,241 Not everyone can be as fortunate as we, cara mia. 28 00:02:43,127 --> 00:02:45,960 Music, Lurch, to underscore this magic moment. 29 00:02:49,847 --> 00:02:51,360 You just oughtta read this. 30 00:02:51,487 --> 00:02:54,081 This Dr. Chalon is tops in his profession. 31 00:02:54,167 --> 00:02:58,240 He says that couples who fight like cats and dogs are really the happy ones. 32 00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:02,758 - Happy, cara mia? - Ecstatic, cavaliere mio. 33 00:03:03,007 --> 00:03:05,680 You are sick, sick, sick. 34 00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:09,445 Darling, I'm worried. 35 00:03:09,527 --> 00:03:11,882 Do you think there could be anything wrong with our marriage? 36 00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:13,195 I couldn't be happier. 37 00:03:13,287 --> 00:03:17,883 Querida, if our marriage is shaky, I want to keep it shaking for all eternity. 38 00:03:18,327 --> 00:03:22,115 Your knight in shining armor will defend it against the world. 39 00:03:33,887 --> 00:03:36,321 Oh, darling, something I've always wanted. 40 00:03:36,407 --> 00:03:38,363 An indoor waterfall. 41 00:03:38,767 --> 00:03:40,997 - You're so ingenious. - That's true. 42 00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:44,045 Well, off to the Zen-Yogi society. 43 00:03:44,127 --> 00:03:46,277 We're doing our latest position, the spread eagle. 44 00:03:46,367 --> 00:03:48,164 - On the floor? - Midair. 45 00:03:48,367 --> 00:03:49,595 Have fun. 46 00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:56,885 I forgot my glasses. 47 00:04:01,327 --> 00:04:04,046 - Who did that? - Gomez. 48 00:04:04,567 --> 00:04:07,639 - Deliberately? - We were talking about our marriage 49 00:04:07,727 --> 00:04:10,764 and suddenly he picked up the spear and flung it. 50 00:04:10,847 --> 00:04:13,156 You had a fight. Congratulations. 51 00:04:13,247 --> 00:04:16,205 Nonsense, Uncle Fester. We've never been happier. 52 00:04:16,327 --> 00:04:19,319 - You poor, misguided soul. - But... 53 00:04:20,047 --> 00:04:22,322 Please, you'll make me cry. 54 00:04:31,727 --> 00:04:33,638 Come on, Lurch. Tighter. 55 00:04:34,087 --> 00:04:36,999 I just gotta get rid of this headache of mine. 56 00:04:38,287 --> 00:04:39,720 Oh, forget it. 57 00:04:42,287 --> 00:04:44,642 I'll never get rid of this headache. 58 00:04:44,727 --> 00:04:48,515 You always said that thing was perfect for soothing your nerves. 59 00:04:48,607 --> 00:04:52,282 How can I have soothed nerves when tragedy is about to strike 60 00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:55,757 - someone very near and dear to us? - The octopus? 61 00:04:57,127 --> 00:04:58,401 The moose? 62 00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:01,319 Morticia and Gomez. 63 00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:03,883 Gomez is beginning to crack already. 64 00:05:03,967 --> 00:05:07,084 For no reason at all, he just practically wrecked the plumbing. 65 00:05:09,207 --> 00:05:12,040 They're gonna really erupt one of these days and... 66 00:05:12,127 --> 00:05:14,641 All over! We gotta get them to fight, 67 00:05:14,727 --> 00:05:17,400 so they'll let off a little emotional steam. 68 00:05:17,487 --> 00:05:20,206 - Then they'll kiss and make up, huh? - Right. 69 00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:22,243 You know, like a well-adjusted couple. 70 00:05:22,327 --> 00:05:27,355 Now, all in favor of making Morticia and Gomez miserable for their own good, 71 00:05:27,447 --> 00:05:29,039 raise their hands. 72 00:05:35,047 --> 00:05:36,526 It's unanimous. 73 00:06:03,607 --> 00:06:06,724 - Please, not while I'm coughing. - Sorry, Fester. 74 00:06:16,647 --> 00:06:20,242 Morticia, my pet, did you make a slight rearrangement of the chessmen? 75 00:06:20,767 --> 00:06:22,564 She probably knew she was beaten. 76 00:06:23,687 --> 00:06:26,281 Darling, are you accusing me of fudging? 77 00:06:26,847 --> 00:06:30,283 It's just an excuse. He's trapped and he knows it. 78 00:06:33,207 --> 00:06:34,959 Forgive me, angelito mío. 79 00:06:35,927 --> 00:06:39,124 There, my king stalemates your king. 80 00:06:39,247 --> 00:06:41,363 It's a draw. Neither one of us wins. 81 00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,757 Of course, darling, it had to be. 82 00:06:43,927 --> 00:06:45,963 We're so perfectly matched. 83 00:06:49,207 --> 00:06:51,641 We've just got to do what the professor says. 84 00:06:51,727 --> 00:06:53,319 Get them brawling. 85 00:07:00,367 --> 00:07:02,597 Hello? Gomez Addams? 86 00:07:03,207 --> 00:07:04,720 Who's calling? 87 00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:06,641 Grand guru? 88 00:07:08,247 --> 00:07:11,603 You must be the president of Gomez's Zen-Yogi society. 89 00:07:13,127 --> 00:07:16,278 His dues? Yeah, I'll tell him what he... 90 00:07:19,847 --> 00:07:24,079 There aren't gonna be any dues, not this month's or any month's from now on. 91 00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:27,955 Mrs. Addams talked her husband into quitting your phony society. 92 00:07:28,087 --> 00:07:30,123 She says Zen-Yogi is a fake. 93 00:07:30,207 --> 00:07:32,402 Yeah, she put him wise to you quacks! 94 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,526 Gomez will have a fit. He loves Zen-Yogi. 95 00:07:36,967 --> 00:07:41,040 Exactly. And if he doesn't give Morticia a whack or two, 96 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,766 how else is going to prove his undying love? 97 00:07:43,847 --> 00:07:47,157 And if she cares for him she'll conk him once or twice. 98 00:07:47,687 --> 00:07:49,518 What lovely fireworks. 99 00:07:49,687 --> 00:07:53,760 They'll light up the whole sky with "I love you." 100 00:07:57,687 --> 00:07:58,802 An ace. 101 00:08:05,807 --> 00:08:08,321 My weekly game at the Zen-Yogi clubhouse 102 00:08:08,407 --> 00:08:11,285 is something I look forward to with a passion. 103 00:08:11,607 --> 00:08:14,201 Imagine playing seven card lowball on your head. 104 00:08:20,527 --> 00:08:22,040 I am Drashi Dumo, 105 00:08:22,527 --> 00:08:25,200 grand guru of the local Zen-Yogi society. 106 00:08:25,727 --> 00:08:27,957 Follow me. 107 00:08:35,527 --> 00:08:39,281 - The grand guru. - Grand guru! 108 00:08:50,287 --> 00:08:51,925 This is a surprise. 109 00:08:53,647 --> 00:08:56,798 Mr. Addams, I am the one who is surprised. 110 00:08:56,887 --> 00:08:58,923 In fact, I am deeply shocked. 111 00:08:59,007 --> 00:09:00,884 Zen-Yogi is not a fraud. 112 00:09:01,087 --> 00:09:03,442 It is nirvana. It is the ultimate. 113 00:09:03,527 --> 00:09:06,803 Well, of course it's the ultimate. I might even say it goes beyond the ultimate. 114 00:09:06,887 --> 00:09:08,400 Who would dare say it's a fraud? 115 00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:10,998 Your wife, Mrs. Addams. 116 00:09:11,367 --> 00:09:13,676 Yeah, your wife, Mrs. Addams. 117 00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:15,280 She did? 118 00:09:15,367 --> 00:09:17,722 Well, she's a very intelligent woman. 119 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,879 If her intuition tells her it's a fraud, then it must be a fraud. 120 00:09:20,967 --> 00:09:23,276 Then you are quitting the society? 121 00:09:23,767 --> 00:09:27,442 Morticia said that? My darling querida. 122 00:09:27,807 --> 00:09:31,243 Just trying to save me the embarrassment of telling you myself. 123 00:09:31,327 --> 00:09:34,205 You're not gonna let her dictate to you, are you, Gomez? 124 00:09:34,287 --> 00:09:35,879 You love Zen-Yogi. 125 00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:38,845 After what has been said about Zen-Yogi in this house, 126 00:09:38,927 --> 00:09:41,521 we will never accept you again. Good day. 127 00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:44,281 Wait! Tell him his wife's a meddler. 128 00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,164 Let's get a little battle going here. 129 00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:53,116 Darling, did I hear a strange voice? 130 00:09:53,207 --> 00:09:56,597 Tish, Zen-Yogi's been taking up entirely too much of my life. 131 00:09:56,687 --> 00:09:58,564 Darling, you're so right. 132 00:09:58,847 --> 00:10:02,317 And besides, all this standing on your head is getting rather expensive. 133 00:10:02,407 --> 00:10:06,161 - None of your hats fit anymore. - It's more fun doing things together. 134 00:10:06,247 --> 00:10:10,399 Darling, could this be the time we should take our safari up the Amazon? 135 00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:12,603 Wonderful. A second honeymoon. 136 00:10:13,007 --> 00:10:15,043 - Darling. - Cara. 137 00:10:18,167 --> 00:10:19,759 Did you hear that? 138 00:10:21,207 --> 00:10:24,995 I'm gonna have to take the most drastic step of all. Now! Today. 139 00:10:25,087 --> 00:10:28,124 You're right. We just can't let them go off alone. 140 00:10:28,287 --> 00:10:30,676 Suppose they explode up the Amazon. 141 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,845 - Only one would come back alive. - Which one? 142 00:10:34,487 --> 00:10:37,047 I don't know. And that's the worst part of it. 143 00:10:37,127 --> 00:10:39,516 I just couldn't stand the suspense. 144 00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:54,917 A gentleman to see you, Doctor. 145 00:10:59,967 --> 00:11:01,764 I hope I can help you. 146 00:11:02,087 --> 00:11:04,396 I read your article in a magazine. 147 00:11:05,327 --> 00:11:07,238 Yes, a marriage problem. 148 00:11:09,487 --> 00:11:11,717 Have you ever considered wearing a toupee? 149 00:11:11,807 --> 00:11:14,924 Oh, it's not me, it's my niece and nephew. 150 00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:18,483 They seem ideally mated. Completely happy. 151 00:11:19,047 --> 00:11:21,561 A potentially disastrous relationship. 152 00:11:21,927 --> 00:11:24,122 I had five marriages of my own. 153 00:11:24,207 --> 00:11:27,404 Each one ideal, and then... 154 00:11:28,767 --> 00:11:30,644 Five marriages? 155 00:11:32,407 --> 00:11:34,682 You must really understand women. 156 00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:38,364 Naturally. I've killed three men for women. 157 00:11:39,287 --> 00:11:42,040 - Duels. - Well, that's a nice pastime. 158 00:11:42,767 --> 00:11:45,679 But you've just got to meet Morticia and Gomez. 159 00:11:46,007 --> 00:11:48,726 As a friend of mine. Not as a doctor. 160 00:11:48,847 --> 00:11:52,237 So you can study and observe them, without letting them know. 161 00:11:52,327 --> 00:11:54,079 You've just got to help them. 162 00:11:54,167 --> 00:11:57,842 - Well, I'm afraid I'm a very busy man. - Oh, please, please. 163 00:11:58,567 --> 00:12:00,956 We can't let a beautiful woman like Morticia 164 00:12:01,047 --> 00:12:03,720 go through life as a Ionely divorcée. 165 00:12:04,487 --> 00:12:07,047 Beautiful? Well... 166 00:12:07,687 --> 00:12:11,919 Never let it be said that Francois Chalon ever refused a lady in distress. 167 00:12:12,007 --> 00:12:13,520 Oh, goody. 168 00:12:17,687 --> 00:12:19,917 You're a school chum of dear Uncle Fester's? 169 00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:22,805 - Yeah, that was correspondence school. - How charming. 170 00:12:25,647 --> 00:12:27,922 Oh, that French! Even when he speaks it. 171 00:12:34,527 --> 00:12:36,358 The French are so suave. 172 00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:40,238 But the Castilian is much more exciting in his ardor. 173 00:12:41,487 --> 00:12:43,239 Will you come and meet our Mama? 174 00:12:46,327 --> 00:12:48,557 Mama, this is Dr. Chalon. 175 00:12:48,647 --> 00:12:51,605 - Charmed. - That's a most unusual ball of yarn 176 00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:54,520 - you're working with. - Oh, it's a shrunken head. 177 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:58,441 I'm taking the hair off. I'm going to crochet a nice tea cozy with it. 178 00:13:00,007 --> 00:13:03,283 And this is my daughter, Wednesday. 179 00:13:04,287 --> 00:13:07,085 Oh, what a pity! 180 00:13:07,407 --> 00:13:09,477 Your little doll lost its head. 181 00:13:09,767 --> 00:13:13,043 She hasn't lost it. She's Marie Antoinette. 182 00:13:13,127 --> 00:13:14,685 And I chopped it off. 183 00:13:18,447 --> 00:13:21,757 Would you care for a cocktail before dinner, Dr. Chalon? 184 00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:24,083 Yes, I think I could use one. 185 00:13:28,447 --> 00:13:29,721 You rang? 186 00:13:29,807 --> 00:13:32,321 Cocktails, Lurch. Use the good hemlock. 187 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:39,565 - Shall we adjourn to the library? - Yes. 188 00:13:39,647 --> 00:13:41,638 So much more intime. 189 00:13:41,727 --> 00:13:47,040 - Please, that's French. - Darling, please. We have a guest. 190 00:13:48,607 --> 00:13:50,677 Oh, yes, forgive me. 191 00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:52,275 Shall we? 192 00:14:00,367 --> 00:14:04,121 I asked him here to solve a problem. Now he's creating one. 193 00:14:06,047 --> 00:14:09,198 That's just what we want. We'll encourage it. 194 00:14:12,327 --> 00:14:14,966 This is my darling Cleopatra. 195 00:14:15,047 --> 00:14:17,083 Genus African strangler. 196 00:14:17,487 --> 00:14:22,083 If I may say so, I find you fascinating, completely irresistible. 197 00:14:22,607 --> 00:14:24,325 I believe you're trying to tell me something. 198 00:14:24,407 --> 00:14:28,161 From the first moment I saw you, I was enchanted. 199 00:14:29,007 --> 00:14:30,520 Dr. Chalon! 200 00:14:30,607 --> 00:14:33,360 I believe Uncle Fester's school chums are always welcome here, 201 00:14:33,447 --> 00:14:37,042 but I think you're abusing our hospitality. I happen to be married. 202 00:14:37,367 --> 00:14:41,406 If you don't mind my saying so, I've made women forget their husbands in one day. 203 00:14:41,487 --> 00:14:43,603 - Please, I love Gomez. - Who's Gomez? 204 00:14:43,687 --> 00:14:45,837 - My husband. - You see, I've forgotten him already. 205 00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,679 You'll recognize him when you see him again. 206 00:14:51,327 --> 00:14:54,478 Fester, are you trying to accuse Morticia of flirting with Chalon? 207 00:14:55,247 --> 00:14:58,796 All I can say is I'm sorry I ever invited him over. 208 00:15:02,887 --> 00:15:05,276 Then I'll have to defend my honor, like a true Addams. 209 00:15:05,367 --> 00:15:08,359 Well, spoken like a true Castilian nobleman. 210 00:15:08,447 --> 00:15:11,041 - Let her have it. - Mr. Addams. 211 00:15:11,447 --> 00:15:13,517 - Your charming wife just... - Sir, 212 00:15:13,607 --> 00:15:16,075 you have trifled with the sanctity of my marriage. 213 00:15:16,167 --> 00:15:18,920 I demand satisfaction. My card. 214 00:15:21,207 --> 00:15:24,916 "Validated one-hour parking at Joe's." 215 00:15:25,087 --> 00:15:26,645 Slight error. 216 00:15:28,207 --> 00:15:29,640 Now, you may choose your weapons. 217 00:15:41,047 --> 00:15:43,641 These rapiers. In one hour. 218 00:15:44,207 --> 00:15:47,483 This is all wrong. You were supposed to sock Morticia. 219 00:15:50,847 --> 00:15:52,963 My rapier shall speak for me. 220 00:15:54,367 --> 00:15:56,403 Please turn the other cheek. 221 00:15:56,487 --> 00:15:58,000 I only have two. 222 00:16:00,367 --> 00:16:04,326 Gomez. He's the best swordsman in all France. 223 00:16:04,567 --> 00:16:07,923 He is? For Morticia, my querida, 224 00:16:08,087 --> 00:16:10,521 I would fight the greatest swordsman in the world. 225 00:16:11,447 --> 00:16:12,721 Oh, shucks. 226 00:16:28,567 --> 00:16:29,841 Sorry, sir. 227 00:16:43,807 --> 00:16:45,160 Poor Gomez. 228 00:16:45,247 --> 00:16:49,126 If only he'd belted you once, everything would have been perfect. 229 00:16:49,207 --> 00:16:52,358 That's no way for a man to treat the woman he loves. 230 00:16:52,607 --> 00:16:55,326 That Chalon will slice him like a nickel baloney. 231 00:16:55,407 --> 00:16:57,045 Oh, dear. I must stop it. 232 00:16:57,167 --> 00:17:00,284 But how? He'll enjoy killing Gomez. 233 00:17:00,727 --> 00:17:02,638 But Gomez won't enjoy it. 234 00:17:16,967 --> 00:17:19,117 I had the most horrible dream. 235 00:17:19,207 --> 00:17:23,359 I dreamed that you killed Chalon and the police came and took you away. 236 00:17:23,447 --> 00:17:27,725 And Gomez, you're my favorite nephew. I just couldn't bear it. 237 00:17:28,007 --> 00:17:30,475 Please, you gotta call off that duel. 238 00:17:30,567 --> 00:17:33,479 Don't be absurd. If the police come I'll face them. 239 00:17:33,567 --> 00:17:36,081 With shoulders back, head high, and say, 240 00:17:36,647 --> 00:17:38,365 "It was an accident." 241 00:17:43,247 --> 00:17:46,557 Gee, Gomez, you know, with that sword in your hand 242 00:17:46,647 --> 00:17:49,400 - it's a thing of beauty. - It's all in the wrists. 243 00:17:49,487 --> 00:17:52,638 In the wrist, huh? Please can I try it? 244 00:17:53,767 --> 00:17:55,325 - Go ahead. - Thank you. 245 00:18:02,447 --> 00:18:05,564 Oh, dear. And we don't have another. 246 00:18:05,767 --> 00:18:08,281 Now you'll have to call the duel off. 247 00:18:11,527 --> 00:18:15,566 Nonsense. This is much better. 248 00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:22,004 - Gomez, you said it was all in your wrist? - Oh, yes. 249 00:18:22,087 --> 00:18:25,966 Here, we got to keep it in shape. Let me give it a little massage. 250 00:18:26,487 --> 00:18:28,478 - Here, how's that feel? - It's all right. 251 00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:31,240 Yeah? Better? 252 00:18:32,607 --> 00:18:34,404 Well, yes, much better. 253 00:18:34,567 --> 00:18:37,286 - But not for dueling. - You mean you'll have to call it off? 254 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:39,642 Not while I still have this hand. 255 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:43,357 By george, I just realized it. 256 00:18:43,607 --> 00:18:45,120 I'm left-handed. 257 00:18:59,527 --> 00:19:02,803 Cousin Itt, I'm faced with a terrible problem, 258 00:19:03,087 --> 00:19:06,124 and I know you have a good head on your shoulders... 259 00:19:06,207 --> 00:19:08,437 You do have shoulders, don't you? 260 00:19:10,207 --> 00:19:11,401 Three? 261 00:19:11,647 --> 00:19:12,762 Well. 262 00:19:13,727 --> 00:19:14,762 Anyway, 263 00:19:14,847 --> 00:19:17,122 Gomez and a certain Dr. Chalon 264 00:19:17,207 --> 00:19:19,880 have become involved in a deadly duel over me. 265 00:19:22,847 --> 00:19:25,122 There is a simple solution? What? 266 00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:30,639 A duel? But they are going to fight a duel. 267 00:19:30,727 --> 00:19:33,116 And Chalon's the best swordsman in France. 268 00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:38,797 That's a very good suggestion, Cousin Itt. 269 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:41,242 But Gomez's insurance is already paid up. 270 00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:43,119 How can I stop that duel? 271 00:19:45,927 --> 00:19:48,521 I tried that. He discovered he was left-handed. 272 00:19:51,847 --> 00:19:54,042 That's very sweet of you, Cousin Itt. 273 00:19:54,287 --> 00:19:56,881 But I believe Gomez has written his own eulogy. 274 00:19:58,087 --> 00:20:00,681 Well, I'll just have to work on Dr. Chalon. 275 00:20:01,007 --> 00:20:04,602 I must stop this duel for Gomez's sake, no matter what the price. 276 00:20:08,967 --> 00:20:10,525 Thank you, Cousin Itt. 277 00:20:11,007 --> 00:20:13,726 It's comforting to know that I look good in black. 278 00:20:28,447 --> 00:20:29,721 Francois. 279 00:20:34,527 --> 00:20:37,758 Please speak English. It sets my blood afire. 280 00:20:38,207 --> 00:20:39,401 Really? 281 00:20:40,527 --> 00:20:42,438 Please come and sit beside me. 282 00:20:44,847 --> 00:20:47,884 Francois, I don't want you to fight. You might get killed. 283 00:20:47,967 --> 00:20:51,004 Do not worry. In three strokes you are a widow. 284 00:20:51,127 --> 00:20:53,880 Dueling's for fools. You must go away. 285 00:20:54,007 --> 00:20:55,326 Only if you go with me. 286 00:20:55,407 --> 00:20:57,967 I'd love to, but Gomez hates to travel. 287 00:20:58,087 --> 00:20:59,964 - Who's Gomez? - My darling husband. 288 00:21:00,047 --> 00:21:02,959 What about darling me? You must choose. 289 00:21:03,047 --> 00:21:06,835 Well, I'd feel much better knowing you were far away, and safe. 290 00:21:07,007 --> 00:21:08,998 Such charm. But you do not have to choose. 291 00:21:09,087 --> 00:21:10,805 I stay here and duel. 292 00:21:10,887 --> 00:21:12,525 Well, then, duel with me. 293 00:21:12,607 --> 00:21:14,563 I prefer to kill your darling Gomez. 294 00:21:14,647 --> 00:21:17,366 - Oh, no! - Such loyalty. 295 00:21:17,647 --> 00:21:20,115 In a few minutes it will be "poof!" All over. 296 00:21:20,287 --> 00:21:22,755 - And then you can pack your things, yes? - No. 297 00:21:23,247 --> 00:21:26,239 I mean, I just remembered, I have to go feed Zelda. 298 00:21:26,647 --> 00:21:29,878 - Let Zelda feed herself. - Let a vulture feed herself? 299 00:21:30,367 --> 00:21:31,800 You're not yourself. 300 00:21:35,647 --> 00:21:37,444 Her husband hates to travel? 301 00:21:42,007 --> 00:21:44,760 Chalon, you are a fool. 302 00:21:47,287 --> 00:21:49,960 Dr. Chalon, you must call off the duel. 303 00:21:50,047 --> 00:21:52,607 It's off. Cowards only talk bravely. 304 00:21:52,767 --> 00:21:55,804 That's true, but Gomez has other good qualities. 305 00:21:56,047 --> 00:21:57,685 I was speaking of my cowardice. 306 00:21:57,767 --> 00:22:01,237 I have a yellow streak that wide down my back. 307 00:22:01,767 --> 00:22:04,600 Oh, is that so? I thought you were wearing suspenders. 308 00:22:04,687 --> 00:22:07,679 Well, it takes a brave man to admit he's a coward. 309 00:22:08,407 --> 00:22:10,716 But what about Morticia and Gomez? 310 00:22:10,807 --> 00:22:14,038 - Maybe if she slugged him... - Not necessary. 311 00:22:14,127 --> 00:22:16,277 They are truly a perfect couple. 312 00:22:16,367 --> 00:22:20,155 He was willing to sacrifice himself for her, and just now, she... 313 00:22:22,207 --> 00:22:25,483 It would have been such a beautiful sacrifice. 314 00:22:26,567 --> 00:22:28,603 - Good night, sir. - Good night. 315 00:22:28,687 --> 00:22:31,326 All right, Chalon, this is it. The moment of truth. 316 00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:34,524 - Chalon left. - He left? 317 00:22:34,847 --> 00:22:37,077 You know those yellow suspenders he was wearing? 318 00:22:37,167 --> 00:22:39,283 - Yes. - They're not suspenders. 319 00:22:40,447 --> 00:22:42,438 - Where's Francois? - He ran. 320 00:22:42,687 --> 00:22:45,440 Oh, good. Didn't he leave any message? 321 00:22:45,927 --> 00:22:47,963 What message was there to leave? 322 00:22:48,047 --> 00:22:51,084 He was obviously frightened by my superior swordsmanship. 323 00:22:51,167 --> 00:22:53,237 I may be a little rusty, but I still have what it takes. 324 00:22:54,287 --> 00:22:56,482 Yes, darling, you still have it. 325 00:22:57,007 --> 00:22:58,440 But I think I'm slipping. 326 00:23:04,927 --> 00:23:08,761 Darling, I'm really glad you're back in the Zen-Yogi society. 327 00:23:09,727 --> 00:23:13,003 Well, when I showed them this position, they welcomed me with open arms. 328 00:23:15,007 --> 00:23:17,760 - It's a very interesting position. - And so comfortable. 329 00:23:17,847 --> 00:23:20,600 The grand guru couldn't wait to try it himself. 330 00:23:20,967 --> 00:23:24,277 Yes, it's too bad he didn't have a stronger chandelier. 331 00:23:24,687 --> 00:23:26,359 We should send him a get-well card. 332 00:23:26,447 --> 00:23:28,961 - Lf it's not too late. - No. 333 00:23:29,047 --> 00:23:31,242 The hospital says he's recovering quite nicely. 334 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:38,319 Oh, dear, the grand guru is going to have company. 335 00:23:39,687 --> 00:23:43,441 By george, that Zen-Yogi really does work. My head never felt clearer. 336 00:23:44,447 --> 00:23:45,926 Darling.