1 00:01:10,887 --> 00:01:13,720 Wonderful, darling. Such precision. 2 00:01:15,047 --> 00:01:16,480 It's not easy. 3 00:01:16,567 --> 00:01:19,479 Terrific. I wish that doctor could see him now. 4 00:01:19,567 --> 00:01:20,602 Doctor? 5 00:01:20,687 --> 00:01:23,838 You know, the one that said our family was unbalanced. 6 00:01:23,927 --> 00:01:25,963 Gomez has got plenty of balance. 7 00:01:26,047 --> 00:01:27,560 Just takes practice. 8 00:01:27,647 --> 00:01:31,276 As soon as I get a little more practice, then I'll unhook it. 9 00:01:32,247 --> 00:01:34,078 Well, Lurch, you may take it down now. 10 00:01:34,167 --> 00:01:37,398 I hope you have it perfected by Wednesday's birthday. 11 00:01:37,487 --> 00:01:39,239 We have plenty of surprises for Wednesday. 12 00:01:39,327 --> 00:01:41,363 For one thing, we're going to put on a play. 13 00:01:41,447 --> 00:01:44,723 A new drama by that great new dramatist, 14 00:01:44,807 --> 00:01:46,365 Tennessee Addams. 15 00:01:47,127 --> 00:01:48,526 And we're all going to be in it. 16 00:01:50,447 --> 00:01:52,881 Come with me to the casbah. 17 00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,720 Heathcliff, where are you? 18 00:01:57,847 --> 00:02:01,556 Lady Chatterley, I love you. 19 00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:11,237 By george, this house is a veritable cesspool of talent. 20 00:02:11,327 --> 00:02:13,477 Wednesday will be so thrilled. 21 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:17,003 - Gomez, what's the play about? - Well, it's a most unusual plot. 22 00:02:17,087 --> 00:02:20,238 There's this young couple, Claude and Mabel. 23 00:02:20,327 --> 00:02:21,601 And they're in love. 24 00:02:21,687 --> 00:02:23,086 But their families are feuding 25 00:02:23,167 --> 00:02:25,522 and they refuse to let the young lovers get married. 26 00:02:25,607 --> 00:02:27,723 How delightfully tragic. 27 00:02:27,807 --> 00:02:29,081 Thank you, my dear. 28 00:02:29,167 --> 00:02:33,046 Well, there's no use telling you the rest. We'll have a play read. 29 00:02:33,727 --> 00:02:36,525 Places, please. Lurch, a little mood music. 30 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,999 "And then he takes poison, 31 00:02:46,087 --> 00:02:47,964 "and then she takes poison. 32 00:02:48,047 --> 00:02:50,322 "And they both die happily ever after." 33 00:02:56,527 --> 00:02:58,757 Oh, what a lovely finish, Gomez. 34 00:02:58,847 --> 00:03:00,883 Real togetherness. 35 00:03:00,967 --> 00:03:02,366 Quite a twist, eh? 36 00:03:02,447 --> 00:03:03,675 Well, now for the casting. 37 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,485 Morticia, of course, will play the girl. 38 00:03:05,567 --> 00:03:07,717 Mama will play her mother. Fester... 39 00:03:11,287 --> 00:03:13,482 Of course we want you in it, Cousin Itt. 40 00:03:13,567 --> 00:03:15,239 What would the play be without you? 41 00:03:15,327 --> 00:03:17,636 I just want to find the right part for you. 42 00:03:17,727 --> 00:03:20,924 Hey, Gomez, if you put this to music, he could play a Beatle. 43 00:03:22,647 --> 00:03:24,444 In fact, all four of them. 44 00:03:24,527 --> 00:03:26,643 - You need any singers? - No. 45 00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:32,280 No, there's no part for a sheepdog, either. 46 00:03:35,567 --> 00:03:39,560 Don't say that, Cousin Itt. You are not useless and good for nothing. 47 00:03:39,647 --> 00:03:41,444 You most certainly are good for something. 48 00:03:41,527 --> 00:03:42,755 We just don't know what it is. 49 00:03:44,327 --> 00:03:45,521 Gomez, darling, 50 00:03:45,607 --> 00:03:48,838 Cousin Itt's inferiority complex is getting worse all the time. 51 00:03:50,887 --> 00:03:52,206 I have it. 52 00:03:53,327 --> 00:03:57,684 Cousin Itt, you are going to be the star of our new play. The hero, Claude. 53 00:04:02,527 --> 00:04:04,563 I think I'm allergic to you. Here. 54 00:04:06,487 --> 00:04:09,604 You do? Isn't that amazing? 55 00:04:09,687 --> 00:04:13,043 He knows the part after only hearing it read once. 56 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:16,915 Now, let's see. We'll start with the love scene at the top of Act Two. 57 00:04:17,767 --> 00:04:21,521 Claude, the hero, is looking up at Mabel's balcony, and says... 58 00:04:23,927 --> 00:04:26,316 Marvelous. What feeling, what emotion. 59 00:04:26,407 --> 00:04:28,477 Such passion, such depth of feeling. 60 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:32,116 Querida, play the scene with him. At the top of the balcony, go on. 61 00:04:33,087 --> 00:04:34,566 There, Act Two. 62 00:04:36,407 --> 00:04:38,363 Oh, thank you. 63 00:04:38,447 --> 00:04:40,085 "We must flee, my love. 64 00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:41,839 "If my father catches you here, 65 00:04:41,927 --> 00:04:44,725 "he will shoot you, kill you, and break your glasses." 66 00:04:47,127 --> 00:04:49,118 Wait a minute. You changed one of my lines. 67 00:04:50,407 --> 00:04:51,806 That's different. 68 00:04:51,887 --> 00:04:55,641 Are you sure this part doesn't call for a taller man? 69 00:04:55,727 --> 00:04:57,638 Someone like me. 70 00:04:57,727 --> 00:04:59,718 No, Cousin Itt is perfection. 71 00:04:59,807 --> 00:05:02,116 But Uncle Fester, you could be the understudy. 72 00:05:02,967 --> 00:05:06,357 You mean, if something happens to him, 73 00:05:06,447 --> 00:05:08,677 like if he gets clobbered, 74 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,166 I could play Claude? 75 00:05:10,247 --> 00:05:11,521 Of course. 76 00:05:16,287 --> 00:05:17,356 Itt. 77 00:05:20,727 --> 00:05:24,163 Let's go down to the playroom. We can rehearse together. 78 00:05:29,047 --> 00:05:32,562 Lurch, you can be the second understudy. 79 00:05:34,487 --> 00:05:36,603 That means if Cousin Itt can't make it, 80 00:05:36,687 --> 00:05:39,997 and something happens to Uncle Fester, you play Claude. 81 00:05:46,327 --> 00:05:48,318 Darling, I'm so happy. 82 00:05:48,407 --> 00:05:50,477 I think Cousin Itt has finally found himself. 83 00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,319 That isn't easy under all that hair. 84 00:05:52,407 --> 00:05:55,240 To make sure the play is a success, I'm going to hire a big director. 85 00:05:55,327 --> 00:05:58,160 - Where will you find a big director? - In the directory, where else? 86 00:06:06,487 --> 00:06:09,047 And I, Eric Von Bissell, will make the decisions. 87 00:06:09,127 --> 00:06:10,480 Remember that, Bennie. 88 00:06:10,567 --> 00:06:12,876 I am the director. You are only my agent. 89 00:06:12,967 --> 00:06:15,879 Okay, okay. Only just don't blow the job. 90 00:06:15,967 --> 00:06:18,117 How come this guy Addams to call you, anyhow? 91 00:06:18,207 --> 00:06:21,244 Probably remembered some of my more distinguished pictures. 92 00:06:21,327 --> 00:06:22,362 Pretty good memory. 93 00:06:22,447 --> 00:06:25,803 - When was your last one? 1932? - Never mind that. 94 00:06:25,887 --> 00:06:29,482 Addams says he has a great play and a great cast. 95 00:06:29,567 --> 00:06:32,604 This could be the start of an entirely new career. 96 00:06:37,447 --> 00:06:38,800 Fine start. 97 00:06:43,247 --> 00:06:45,522 I do not direct home-talent plays. 98 00:06:45,607 --> 00:06:48,519 Oh, what he means is that his fee is too high, Mr. Addams. 99 00:06:48,607 --> 00:06:49,676 50 G's. 100 00:06:49,767 --> 00:06:52,122 I'll do better than that. I'll give him 50 thousand. 101 00:06:52,207 --> 00:06:53,401 - Dollars? - Dollars? 102 00:07:00,247 --> 00:07:03,000 I think there's $60,000 there. You can keep the change. 103 00:07:03,087 --> 00:07:07,956 Well, money isn't everything. My talent, my reputation. 104 00:07:08,047 --> 00:07:10,880 Excuse us just a moment, please. Come with me. 105 00:07:15,807 --> 00:07:18,526 - What do you think, my dear? - Don't worry, darling. 106 00:07:18,607 --> 00:07:21,758 When they read your play, they'll be dying to do it. 107 00:07:26,687 --> 00:07:28,166 Was Cousin Itt yelling for help? 108 00:07:28,247 --> 00:07:29,282 That's the scene from the third act, 109 00:07:29,367 --> 00:07:31,198 when Mabel's father is after him with a sword. 110 00:07:32,367 --> 00:07:34,198 My, he certainly makes it sound convincing. 111 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,721 Well, he really puts feeling into it. Excuse me, my dear. 112 00:07:36,807 --> 00:07:38,206 Mr. Addams, 113 00:07:38,287 --> 00:07:41,643 my client has decided to do your play, after thinking it all over. 114 00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:44,082 I knew you'd come around, old man. 115 00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:47,079 Of course, this living room is hardly a Broadway theater. 116 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,123 By george, you're right, this play should be on Broadway. 117 00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:50,242 What? 118 00:07:50,327 --> 00:07:52,124 Wednesday's party will serve as an out-of-town tryout. 119 00:07:52,207 --> 00:07:54,516 That does it. Get another director. 120 00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:55,926 - Think of the challenge. - No. 121 00:07:56,007 --> 00:07:57,326 - Think of the prestige. - No. 122 00:07:57,407 --> 00:07:59,796 - Think of the money. - I do it. 123 00:08:05,887 --> 00:08:08,799 - You rang? - Call Cousin Itt, will you, Lurch? 124 00:08:08,887 --> 00:08:11,879 - Gone. - Nonsense. Have Fester help you find him. 125 00:08:11,967 --> 00:08:14,197 - Gone, too. - Gone? 126 00:08:14,287 --> 00:08:15,640 But who'll play Claude? 127 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,164 Me. 128 00:08:21,327 --> 00:08:22,885 Something is rotten in Denmark. 129 00:08:26,727 --> 00:08:29,719 Not in Denmark. In the playroom. 130 00:08:42,287 --> 00:08:44,437 Gomez, the old chest. Quick, open it up. 131 00:08:44,527 --> 00:08:45,846 Great Scott! 132 00:09:03,287 --> 00:09:06,040 I know you're shy, Cousin Itt, but this is ridiculous. 133 00:09:07,367 --> 00:09:09,358 Uncle Fester? How shocking. 134 00:09:09,447 --> 00:09:13,759 - Help! Get me out of here! Help. - Gomez, darling. 135 00:09:15,527 --> 00:09:17,199 Get me out of here. 136 00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:23,483 Uncle Fester, how could you do that to Cousin Itt? 137 00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:25,603 Him? What about me? 138 00:09:25,687 --> 00:09:28,360 Somebody grabbed me from behind and threw me in there and locked me up 139 00:09:28,447 --> 00:09:29,596 before I knew what was happening! 140 00:09:29,687 --> 00:09:32,997 I think I'm beginning to understand. 141 00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:43,039 Come out, Lurch. 142 00:09:46,967 --> 00:09:49,197 There will be no more of this. 143 00:09:49,287 --> 00:09:51,847 If anything happens to Cousin Itt the play is off. 144 00:09:52,887 --> 00:09:54,479 - Come. - Come along, Itt. 145 00:10:03,047 --> 00:10:04,196 Well? 146 00:10:08,367 --> 00:10:10,323 Oh, stop worrying about your reputation. 147 00:10:10,407 --> 00:10:12,682 Nobody's going to see this crummy play anyhow. 148 00:10:12,767 --> 00:10:15,918 That's right. Put it on and run like a thief. 149 00:10:16,007 --> 00:10:17,599 Gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. 150 00:10:17,687 --> 00:10:20,121 We give you our star, Cousin Itt. 151 00:10:20,207 --> 00:10:21,845 What is that? 152 00:10:21,927 --> 00:10:24,725 - That's Cousin Itt, our leading man. - Really a new face, eh? 153 00:10:24,807 --> 00:10:26,559 New face? 154 00:10:26,647 --> 00:10:29,081 I don't see no face at all. 155 00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:32,842 - I am a director. Not a barber. - Von B. 156 00:10:34,887 --> 00:10:38,243 But a true artist overcomes all obstacles. 157 00:10:39,487 --> 00:10:43,321 Oh, Gomez, darling, I do so adore temperamental artists. 158 00:10:43,407 --> 00:10:44,726 Thank you, darling. 159 00:10:44,807 --> 00:10:47,480 Well, all right, let's run through the opening scene now. 160 00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:50,400 Mrs. Addams, will you please stand over there? 161 00:10:50,487 --> 00:10:52,398 You and that. 162 00:10:53,367 --> 00:10:57,406 Now, you're madly in love, but your father has forbidden you to marry him. 163 00:10:57,487 --> 00:10:59,796 And so you are telling Claude. 164 00:10:59,887 --> 00:11:01,843 - Go. - "Darling Claude, 165 00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:04,077 "my father has forbidden our nuptials." 166 00:11:06,487 --> 00:11:08,921 Stop it! Stop it! 167 00:11:09,007 --> 00:11:11,726 - Is something wrong? - "Something wrong"? 168 00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:16,122 - Terrible! - Sounded fine to me. 169 00:11:16,207 --> 00:11:19,802 Oh, that's impossible. I will not work with such insanity! 170 00:11:22,247 --> 00:11:24,761 Please. Cousin Itt is very sensitive. 171 00:11:26,007 --> 00:11:27,042 Where'd he go? 172 00:11:27,127 --> 00:11:29,436 Where any sensitive artist would go when his feelings are wounded. 173 00:11:29,527 --> 00:11:31,040 Up the chimney. 174 00:11:35,767 --> 00:11:37,837 Come down, Cousin Itt. He didn't mean it. 175 00:11:39,527 --> 00:11:43,202 Oh, dear, now see what you've done. He likes it up there. 176 00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:45,676 Think of your career, your public... 177 00:11:48,287 --> 00:11:50,164 Well, anyway, it was a soft answer. 178 00:11:50,247 --> 00:11:53,284 - Please tell him you're sorry. - Sorry for what? 179 00:11:54,327 --> 00:11:55,680 60,000 bucks. 180 00:11:55,767 --> 00:11:58,440 - Say it again. - 60,000 bucks. 181 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:04,561 He looks like a raccoon and talks like a gopher, 182 00:12:04,647 --> 00:12:07,605 - but he has possibilities. - Thank you. 183 00:12:10,247 --> 00:12:11,885 Cousin Itt, did you hear that? 184 00:12:14,727 --> 00:12:18,436 I knew you wouldn't let a little clash of temperament wreck a great work of art. 185 00:12:18,527 --> 00:12:20,199 - Come on. - Gomez. 186 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,477 Mr. Von Bissell may have a point. 187 00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:27,879 I do think Itt's voice is a bit too fast for the average listener. 188 00:12:27,967 --> 00:12:31,562 - I never noticed that. - Yes, I noticed it in that last scene we did. 189 00:12:31,647 --> 00:12:35,083 Perhaps we'd best take him down to the playroom and work on his voice. 190 00:12:35,167 --> 00:12:36,885 Bring out that fine timbre. 191 00:12:36,967 --> 00:12:38,923 Great idea, but we'll have to watch out for splinters. 192 00:12:54,847 --> 00:12:57,839 Now, let's try it once more, Cousin Itt. 193 00:12:57,927 --> 00:12:59,724 And slowly. 194 00:12:59,807 --> 00:13:01,957 "The rain in Spain 195 00:13:02,047 --> 00:13:04,356 "stays mainly on the plain." 196 00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:11,596 No, no, no. Slower, Cousin Itt, much slower. 197 00:13:11,687 --> 00:13:14,759 Let's bring out those nice pear-shaped tones. 198 00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:17,406 Excuse me. 199 00:13:20,047 --> 00:13:24,359 Maybe he'd give us pear-shaped tones, if we gave him a pear-shaped head. 200 00:13:25,327 --> 00:13:27,841 That's a brilliant idea. Let's try it. 201 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,685 Oh, not too much, dear, just a nice pear shape. 202 00:13:36,167 --> 00:13:38,237 There. That ought to do it. 203 00:13:38,327 --> 00:13:41,763 Now. "The rain in Spain 204 00:13:41,847 --> 00:13:44,884 "stays mainly on the plain." 205 00:13:49,487 --> 00:13:51,682 Oh, dear, it's not a bit better. 206 00:13:54,127 --> 00:13:57,005 No wonder. I got the wrong end of him in here. 207 00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:04,917 His voice is much too high. I wish we could lower it. 208 00:14:05,007 --> 00:14:06,599 Maybe we should drop him down a well. 209 00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,557 Sorry, it was only a suggestion. 210 00:14:14,407 --> 00:14:17,922 Gomez, darling, I do remember reading somewhere 211 00:14:18,007 --> 00:14:22,239 where if you put marbles in your mouth, it gives you nice round tones. 212 00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:24,682 You're right, querida. Use mine. 213 00:14:27,207 --> 00:14:30,244 Here, Cousin Itt. Put these in your mouth. 214 00:14:31,647 --> 00:14:33,842 Now, let's try it again. 215 00:14:33,927 --> 00:14:35,076 "The rain in..." 216 00:14:39,527 --> 00:14:42,485 They're delicious? But you're not supposed to eat them. 217 00:14:42,567 --> 00:14:45,957 Cousin Itt, they were my good dibbies! I won them off of Pugsley. 218 00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:48,838 Really, Cousin Itt. Now, here. 219 00:14:48,927 --> 00:14:52,078 - No, no, no. - Oh, no, darling, it's all right. 220 00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:55,477 Here, just put these in your mouth, and hold them. 221 00:14:56,367 --> 00:14:57,766 Let's try a new phrase. 222 00:14:57,847 --> 00:15:00,486 "The witch's ditch is mainly full of pitch." Yes. 223 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:04,162 "The witch's ditch is mainly full of pitch." 224 00:15:05,407 --> 00:15:07,125 "...ditch is mainly full of..." 225 00:15:08,007 --> 00:15:09,759 By Jove, I think he's got it. 226 00:15:09,847 --> 00:15:12,520 No, now try it again, nice and easy. 227 00:15:13,407 --> 00:15:16,001 "The witch's ditch is mainly full of..." 228 00:15:16,727 --> 00:15:17,842 Again. 229 00:15:17,927 --> 00:15:20,487 "The witch's ditch is mainly full of pitch." 230 00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:21,886 He has got it. 231 00:15:21,967 --> 00:15:26,085 "The witch's ditch is mainly full of pitch!" 232 00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:28,920 "The witch's ditch is mainly full of pitch." 233 00:15:29,007 --> 00:15:32,636 "The witch's ditch is mainly full of pitch." 234 00:15:33,407 --> 00:15:36,001 "If you love me, gentle Claude, 235 00:15:36,087 --> 00:15:38,078 "I pray thee, tell me so." 236 00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:42,439 Itt, we're waiting. 237 00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:48,604 - What's the getup for? - Lf you go Hollywood, go all the way. 238 00:15:48,687 --> 00:15:52,123 - Which one is their cousin? - Maybe both of them. 239 00:15:53,047 --> 00:15:54,366 Cue again. 240 00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:57,362 "I pray thee, tell me so." 241 00:15:57,447 --> 00:16:00,439 "Lady, by yonder blessed moon..." 242 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:03,599 Pardon me. You may go out and play, Throckmorton. 243 00:16:05,247 --> 00:16:08,125 "Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear, 244 00:16:08,207 --> 00:16:11,324 "that tips with silver all these dead treetops, 245 00:16:11,407 --> 00:16:12,920 "while vultures croak in ecstasy, 246 00:16:13,007 --> 00:16:16,920 "I dare to love thee, ere my head your father chops." 247 00:16:17,007 --> 00:16:19,282 Bravo! Bravo! 248 00:16:20,287 --> 00:16:22,517 Von Bissell, a star is born. 249 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:23,676 It's a miracle. 250 00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:26,201 It'll take more than a miracle. 251 00:16:26,287 --> 00:16:28,437 - But I'll try. - Good. 252 00:16:28,527 --> 00:16:30,677 Fester, get the cast together. 253 00:16:31,847 --> 00:16:34,361 All right, everybody. On stage. 254 00:16:34,447 --> 00:16:35,960 Come on, Itt, over there. 255 00:16:36,047 --> 00:16:38,242 Really, old man, you're not addressing a peasant, you know. 256 00:16:38,327 --> 00:16:39,726 You're speaking to the star. 257 00:16:39,807 --> 00:16:42,162 I shall inform you when I'm ready. 258 00:16:43,327 --> 00:16:45,966 "Soft! What light through yonder window breaks..." 259 00:16:47,927 --> 00:16:51,317 If the play is a success he'll be absolutely impossible. 260 00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:53,082 Isn't that wonderful? 261 00:16:54,727 --> 00:16:56,718 Well, I think I'll go fix my makeup. 262 00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,162 Querida, use that baking powder number four. 263 00:16:59,247 --> 00:17:01,522 It looks absolutely magnificent on you. 264 00:17:01,607 --> 00:17:03,802 - Bubele. - That word. 265 00:17:05,127 --> 00:17:06,685 Darling, please. 266 00:17:06,767 --> 00:17:08,519 Bissell now, bubele later. 267 00:17:09,447 --> 00:17:10,516 Yes. 268 00:17:13,527 --> 00:17:17,918 And to think that I once directed for a producer like Sam Derrick. 269 00:17:18,007 --> 00:17:21,397 Sam Derrick! By Jove, there's a real producer. 270 00:17:21,487 --> 00:17:25,878 I can see it now. Derrick producing, you directing. Sure hit. 271 00:17:25,967 --> 00:17:28,117 I'll have my office draw up a contract and get him over here. 272 00:17:28,207 --> 00:17:29,879 Oh, no! Please. 273 00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:31,923 Oh, that would ruin me. 274 00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:37,759 Thank you, Thing. Hello, Addams here. 275 00:17:37,847 --> 00:17:41,476 I want you to get Sam Derrick, the big producer, over here immediately. 276 00:17:41,567 --> 00:17:42,716 Fine. 277 00:17:42,807 --> 00:17:44,160 He'll be here tomorrow. 278 00:17:45,407 --> 00:17:47,762 Von Bissell? Bennie? 279 00:17:56,447 --> 00:17:58,802 Then they just ran out the door and disappeared. 280 00:17:58,887 --> 00:18:01,765 Just as well. I was going to dismiss the old boy. 281 00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:03,280 Dismiss Von Bissell? 282 00:18:03,367 --> 00:18:06,165 He tended to limit my artistic capabilities. 283 00:18:10,487 --> 00:18:13,081 What do you mean by that, Lurch? 284 00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:14,236 Just... 285 00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:19,365 That's quite enough. You may go to your room. 286 00:18:24,207 --> 00:18:26,402 I simply can't abide insolence. 287 00:18:27,967 --> 00:18:31,198 Dear, we've never had this sort of ill-feeling before. 288 00:18:31,287 --> 00:18:34,962 That's true, Itt. Besides, Lurch is much more than a servant around here. 289 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,480 And I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to... 290 00:18:36,567 --> 00:18:38,000 Mommy, Daddy. 291 00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:42,919 Hello, Wednesday, darling, welcome home. Did you enjoy school? 292 00:18:43,007 --> 00:18:45,362 Pugsley flunked spelling again. 293 00:18:45,447 --> 00:18:46,721 A real Addams. 294 00:18:47,847 --> 00:18:51,760 I didn't flunk anything. I was too excited about my birthday play. 295 00:18:53,167 --> 00:18:55,806 I'm sorry, child, you'll have to forget about the play. 296 00:18:55,887 --> 00:18:57,525 Forget about it? 297 00:18:57,607 --> 00:18:59,484 I have no time for that sort of foolishness. 298 00:18:59,567 --> 00:19:03,037 I've decided to do Hamlet for Mr. Derrick tomorrow. 299 00:19:03,127 --> 00:19:05,561 "It's a far, far better thing..." 300 00:19:05,647 --> 00:19:07,365 No, that was Dickens. 301 00:19:09,687 --> 00:19:14,078 We'd better get some hair remover and see if that's really Itt under there. 302 00:19:15,247 --> 00:19:17,966 Darling, you run along and play. Everything is going to be all right. 303 00:19:20,247 --> 00:19:22,124 Oh, it's all my fault, Gomez. 304 00:19:22,207 --> 00:19:24,767 When I changed his voice, I changed his whole personality. 305 00:19:24,847 --> 00:19:28,123 Oh, it's not your fault, it's just... 306 00:19:28,207 --> 00:19:31,483 It's just... Well, come to think of it, it is your fault. 307 00:19:31,567 --> 00:19:33,637 If we could only get his sweet voice back again. 308 00:19:33,727 --> 00:19:35,843 I know he'd be his dear self. 309 00:19:36,887 --> 00:19:38,115 Morticia. 310 00:19:40,567 --> 00:19:42,125 These may help you get through to him. 311 00:19:43,247 --> 00:19:45,636 Oh, yes. Thank you, dear. 312 00:19:48,207 --> 00:19:50,846 So now I realize what a mistake it all was. 313 00:19:50,927 --> 00:19:53,600 - A mistake? - Yes, with your new voice, 314 00:19:53,687 --> 00:19:55,757 you sound just like any other actor. 315 00:19:55,847 --> 00:19:58,759 Mr. Derrick wants something new and different. 316 00:19:58,847 --> 00:20:01,407 You may have a point there. 317 00:20:01,487 --> 00:20:04,843 And your old voice was wonderful. We must get it back. 318 00:20:04,927 --> 00:20:07,600 It was so original, so different. 319 00:20:07,687 --> 00:20:08,961 That's true. 320 00:20:09,047 --> 00:20:11,686 I'm so glad you have an open mind about it. 321 00:20:11,767 --> 00:20:15,316 Well, we might just as well start now. Now, repeat after me. 322 00:20:18,527 --> 00:20:22,520 "The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain." 323 00:20:23,247 --> 00:20:27,684 No, speed it up, Cousin Itt, speed it up. Now let's try a different phrase. 324 00:20:30,447 --> 00:20:31,960 Now, try that, very quickly. 325 00:20:32,047 --> 00:20:36,325 "The bats in hats stay mainly on the flats." 326 00:20:36,407 --> 00:20:38,841 Rather silly expression, don't you think? 327 00:20:38,927 --> 00:20:43,205 Please let's try to concentrate, Cousin Itt. We must get your old voice back. 328 00:20:43,287 --> 00:20:44,322 Now. 329 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:50,478 I'm sorry, my dear, but it simply won't come out that way. 330 00:20:50,567 --> 00:20:54,719 If you'll excuse me, I must rehearse. Big day tomorrow, you know. 331 00:20:54,807 --> 00:20:58,356 "Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio." 332 00:21:00,127 --> 00:21:03,836 "To be, or not to be, that is the question." 333 00:21:10,927 --> 00:21:14,920 Poor Wednesday, she's so upset because Cousin Itt won't do the play. 334 00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:17,282 Itt will be on his way to Broadway tonight. 335 00:21:17,367 --> 00:21:19,961 I kind of hate to see the little pest go. 336 00:21:21,127 --> 00:21:23,322 Mr. Derrick. 337 00:21:25,727 --> 00:21:26,796 How do you do? 338 00:21:26,887 --> 00:21:29,082 I'm told you have an actor you want me to meet. 339 00:21:29,167 --> 00:21:31,476 Well, I am a very busy man. 340 00:21:31,567 --> 00:21:34,035 "To be, or not to be, that is the question. 341 00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:36,004 "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer 342 00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:38,043 "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, 343 00:21:38,127 --> 00:21:41,722 "or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them?" 344 00:21:41,807 --> 00:21:43,957 Amazing. Incredible! 345 00:21:44,047 --> 00:21:45,799 We leave for Hollywood tonight. 346 00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:48,401 - Hollywood? - But I thought Broadway was in New York. 347 00:21:48,487 --> 00:21:52,036 Madam, I am on my way out to Hollywood to do a picture. 348 00:21:52,127 --> 00:21:57,485 The Hairy Beast from the Mars Canals. And he'll be perfect in the title role. 349 00:21:57,567 --> 00:21:59,364 And we'll play it with no makeup. 350 00:21:59,447 --> 00:22:02,405 The Hairy Beast of... Me? Play the... Why, you... 351 00:22:04,367 --> 00:22:05,482 Lurch! 352 00:22:10,087 --> 00:22:11,964 Follow me. 353 00:22:13,887 --> 00:22:15,605 But... 354 00:22:16,247 --> 00:22:20,240 - Good old Cousin Itt. - He's his own sweet self again. 355 00:22:32,567 --> 00:22:35,161 Pugsley and I just traded dynamite caps. 356 00:22:35,927 --> 00:22:39,761 Uncle Fester, Gomez is writing a new play. 357 00:22:39,847 --> 00:22:43,920 "If you prick us, do we not bleed? 358 00:22:44,007 --> 00:22:49,365 "If you tickle us, do we not laugh? 359 00:22:49,447 --> 00:22:54,965 "If you poison us, do we not die? 360 00:22:55,047 --> 00:23:00,440 "If you wrong us, shall we not 361 00:23:00,527 --> 00:23:01,846 "revenge?" 362 00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:05,207 Wonderful, darling, sounds so original. 363 00:23:06,207 --> 00:23:09,517 Oh, oh, thank you. You should hear the big scene. 364 00:23:09,607 --> 00:23:14,397 This character, Charlie, can't pay back the $20 he owes. 365 00:23:14,487 --> 00:23:18,480 This other fellow, Pete, demands a pound of flesh. 366 00:23:19,127 --> 00:23:21,357 $20 for a pound of flesh? 367 00:23:21,447 --> 00:23:24,086 - Sounds fine to me. - It does? 368 00:23:24,167 --> 00:23:28,445 Yeah, you should go in the butcher shop and see the prices they're getting. 369 00:23:28,527 --> 00:23:29,846 That's true. 370 00:23:30,727 --> 00:23:32,922 Well, enough work for tonight. 371 00:23:33,007 --> 00:23:35,396 To bed, querida, to bed. 372 00:23:36,367 --> 00:23:38,358 Yes. To bed, darling.