1
00:01:17,887 --> 00:01:19,798
Nothing like a quiet evening at home.

2
00:01:23,127 --> 00:01:24,765
Oh, the mail's in.

3
00:01:31,327 --> 00:01:33,283
Thank you, Thing.

4
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,001
Did I hear the mail?

5
00:01:36,087 --> 00:01:39,841
Well, it's probably
just the usual stock dividends, I suppose.

6
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:42,358
Or another refund
from the treasury department.

7
00:01:43,327 --> 00:01:46,080
Gomez, darling,
it's the tax bill on this house.

8
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:51,400
- Bully! How much are they asking for?
- Well, let's see.

9
00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:55,197
After the municipal fund,
the sinking fund, the land improvements,

10
00:01:55,287 --> 00:01:58,996
it comes to a grand total of $84!

11
00:01:59,087 --> 00:02:02,045
$84! On this gem of a house?

12
00:02:02,127 --> 00:02:04,925
- Why, that's an insult.
- See for yourself.

13
00:02:08,687 --> 00:02:11,155
The simple case of a displaced decimal.

14
00:02:11,247 --> 00:02:14,842
- It should read $8,400.
- More likely $84,000.

15
00:02:15,207 --> 00:02:19,166
It shouldn't be a penny less
for such a magnificent mansion as this.

16
00:02:19,247 --> 00:02:21,602
Now, darling,
you go right back to your Zen-Yogi.

17
00:02:21,687 --> 00:02:24,042
- I'll handle this by phone.
- Good thinking, my dear.

18
00:02:25,207 --> 00:02:27,004
Why, thank you, Thing.

19
00:02:28,767 --> 00:02:31,964
Hello, tax department?
This is Mrs. Addams.

20
00:02:32,967 --> 00:02:36,880
Yes, there's been a rather amusing
typographical error on our tax bill.

21
00:02:37,727 --> 00:02:40,161
$84. Oh, thank you.

22
00:02:41,247 --> 00:02:43,841
They realize there's been an error.
They're checking it out now.

23
00:02:44,927 --> 00:02:47,361
Oh, yes. And what is the revised?

24
00:02:48,887 --> 00:02:51,924
- $8.40?
- Let me at it.

25
00:02:55,327 --> 00:02:59,479
Hello, there. Now, see here! Hello? Hello?

26
00:03:01,207 --> 00:03:02,356
Hello?

27
00:03:05,487 --> 00:03:09,446
$8.40. The insult supreme.

28
00:03:09,967 --> 00:03:12,242
You're not going to take that
lying down, are you?

29
00:03:12,327 --> 00:03:14,636
Lying down? Certainly not.

30
00:03:15,207 --> 00:03:17,004
I'm going to stand right here
and do a little thinking.

31
00:03:20,247 --> 00:03:23,796
Gomez, I think we ought to pay
a little visit to the Mayor.

32
00:03:34,567 --> 00:03:36,444
Quick, Your Honor,
it's that Addams family.

33
00:03:36,527 --> 00:03:37,596
They've been here twice.

34
00:03:37,687 --> 00:03:40,281
I'll stall them
until you can duck down the fire escape.

35
00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:42,676
Cut out the melodramatics, Clyde.

36
00:03:42,767 --> 00:03:45,759
- They're our voters, aren't they?
- Well, anything is possible.

37
00:03:45,847 --> 00:03:49,203
And there is an election coming up.
Now, show them in.

38
00:03:49,287 --> 00:03:52,438
- This is the season to be friendly.
- Friendly to the Addams family?

39
00:03:52,527 --> 00:03:55,917
- And they're taxpayers, aren't they?
- Lf you say so.

40
00:03:56,087 --> 00:03:58,681
Mr. And Mrs. Addams coming up, sir.

41
00:04:09,887 --> 00:04:14,358
Mrs. Addams, Mr. Addams,
do forgive the delay.

42
00:04:14,447 --> 00:04:18,201
Please sit down.
The work of your mayor is never done.

43
00:04:18,287 --> 00:04:19,640
Thank you, Mr. Mayor.

44
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:23,117
Darling, show His Honor
that ridiculous tax bill on our house.

45
00:04:23,207 --> 00:04:26,085
- Here you are, sir.
- Ridiculous. It is out.

46
00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:27,839
Just a moment.
You never even looked at it.

47
00:04:27,927 --> 00:04:30,361
Well, I didn't have to.
I've looked at your house.

48
00:04:30,447 --> 00:04:32,802
- We'll cut it in half.
- The house?

49
00:04:32,887 --> 00:04:36,926
No, no, dear lady. The tax bill.

50
00:04:37,287 --> 00:04:40,723
As a matter of fact,
we'll cancel it altogether.

51
00:04:40,807 --> 00:04:43,879
Or, to be really fair,
we'll send you a rebate.

52
00:04:44,407 --> 00:04:48,446
Great Scott, look at the time! I'm going
to be late for that cornerstone ceremony.

53
00:04:50,007 --> 00:04:52,646
Do forgive me, do forgive me. Goodbye.

54
00:04:53,687 --> 00:04:54,802
Clyde!

55
00:04:56,327 --> 00:04:59,205
Incompetence in office.
The bane of our existence.

56
00:04:59,287 --> 00:05:03,439
To think that in the last election
I voted for that unmitigated scoundrel.

57
00:05:03,527 --> 00:05:05,404
Not only that, darling,
you voted for him twice.

58
00:05:06,487 --> 00:05:08,796
Well, I cast my first vote so early
it slipped my mind.

59
00:05:09,487 --> 00:05:13,446
Somewhere, someplace
there must be a politician

60
00:05:13,527 --> 00:05:17,315
who's a little less of a conniving,
bumbling hack than Mayor Henson.

61
00:05:17,407 --> 00:05:20,638
But who? I don't know who.

62
00:05:20,927 --> 00:05:24,556
But if I find him, he's going to get
some mighty strong support

63
00:05:24,647 --> 00:05:26,160
in this coming election.

64
00:05:47,527 --> 00:05:52,521
Now, darling, put your hand up like this
and repeat after me.

65
00:05:53,247 --> 00:05:55,886
If I'm elected, ladies and gentlemen...

66
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,643
If I'm elected, ladies and gentlemen...

67
00:06:05,807 --> 00:06:09,561
Let's face it. Today you can't be elected
without a political machine behind you.

68
00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:13,557
And unfortunately, I don't have one.

69
00:06:13,647 --> 00:06:16,207
Oh, yes, you do, dear. Uncle Fester?

70
00:06:22,247 --> 00:06:24,807
There. Your old friend Wizzo.

71
00:06:24,887 --> 00:06:26,843
The best machine
a man can have behind him.

72
00:06:28,567 --> 00:06:32,162
Come along, dear.
Say something to Wizzo, darling.

73
00:06:32,927 --> 00:06:34,758
- Go on, anything.
- Anything?

74
00:06:34,847 --> 00:06:36,200
Yeah, make a little speech.

75
00:06:37,287 --> 00:06:38,436
All right.

76
00:06:40,007 --> 00:06:41,486
Ladies and gentlemen.

77
00:06:45,007 --> 00:06:47,680
By george, that's a first-rate
political machine, all right.

78
00:06:47,767 --> 00:06:51,806
It's been programmed for instant politics.
Would you like a smoke-filled room?

79
00:06:57,247 --> 00:06:59,681
It also answers political questions.

80
00:07:00,047 --> 00:07:01,480
All right, here's a political question.

81
00:07:02,847 --> 00:07:05,680
How did a nincompoop like Henson
ever get elected in the first place?

82
00:07:05,767 --> 00:07:07,564
Oh, that's an easy one.

83
00:07:16,487 --> 00:07:20,639
"Mayor Henson got elected
by conniving, wheeling and dealing

84
00:07:20,727 --> 00:07:22,479
"and lots of razzle-dazzle."

85
00:07:23,487 --> 00:07:25,159
I wish the whole world
could have heard that.

86
00:07:25,287 --> 00:07:27,198
It will, Gomez, it will.

87
00:07:27,287 --> 00:07:32,566
And now, Wizzo, how can a fine,
upstanding citizen like Gomez Addams

88
00:07:32,647 --> 00:07:34,160
defeat Mayor Henson?

89
00:07:43,527 --> 00:07:48,123
"A fine, upstanding citizen like
Gomez Addams can defeat Mayor Henson

90
00:07:48,207 --> 00:07:52,280
"by even more conniving, wheeling,
dealing and razzle-dazzle."

91
00:07:52,727 --> 00:07:55,764
I'm afraid there's still
a few bugs left in Wizzo.

92
00:07:56,007 --> 00:07:57,486
Fix it, Uncle Fester.

93
00:07:57,807 --> 00:08:01,322
You're not going to let a little thing
like that stop you, are you, bubele?

94
00:08:03,407 --> 00:08:04,681
Tish...

95
00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:08,396
- When you say that word...
- Well, are you?

96
00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:15,200
If the enlightened citizens, my fair
constituents of this glorious community

97
00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:18,836
do me the honor of electing me
your mayor, I promise that...

98
00:08:40,767 --> 00:08:43,565
And rest assured, ladies and gentlemen,

99
00:08:43,647 --> 00:08:48,038
that the Addams campaign
will remain dignified, on a high level

100
00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:51,676
and completely free
from the scurrilous tactics

101
00:08:51,767 --> 00:08:56,363
of my conniving, double-dealing
scoundrel of an opponent.

102
00:08:57,847 --> 00:09:01,157
Three high-level copies of that speech,
Thing, when you get around to it.

103
00:09:02,967 --> 00:09:06,801
Thank you, Thing.
That's one, two, three. Very good.

104
00:09:06,887 --> 00:09:10,562
"Conniving, scurrilous..."
Excellent. Excellent work, Thing.

105
00:09:10,647 --> 00:09:12,444
- Gomez, darling.
- Yes, my dear.

106
00:09:12,527 --> 00:09:14,961
It's time for your baby-kissing
practice session.

107
00:09:16,007 --> 00:09:19,966
Where would my campaign be
without your firm hand on the tiller

108
00:09:20,047 --> 00:09:21,924
of the good ship Addams?

109
00:09:22,767 --> 00:09:24,997
- Let's get started, dear.
- Right. Yes, yes.

110
00:09:25,887 --> 00:09:27,161
- Oh, Mr. Addams.
- Yes.

111
00:09:27,247 --> 00:09:29,761
Both my baby and I
did so love your speech.

112
00:09:29,847 --> 00:09:31,280
We're both going to vote for you.

113
00:09:31,367 --> 00:09:35,724
Thank you, madam.
And thank you, my manly little fellow.

114
00:09:35,807 --> 00:09:37,843
Or girl, as the case may be.

115
00:09:43,087 --> 00:09:45,601
- That perfume you're wearing.
- Oh, sir.

116
00:09:46,367 --> 00:09:48,835
Mr. Addams. Gomez!

117
00:09:49,527 --> 00:09:51,677
It's the only way to run a campaign.

118
00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:53,200
The press.

119
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,925
- I'm Brown from The Sun.
- Well, you certainly look it.

120
00:09:57,007 --> 00:09:59,680
Well, obviously you're here
to question me about my campaign.

121
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,600
- Fire away.
- Well, are you a candidate?

122
00:10:03,527 --> 00:10:05,995
- No comment.
- No comment?

123
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,040
That's off the record.

124
00:10:08,127 --> 00:10:11,039
Dear, I believe the young man
wants to know what position you take.

125
00:10:11,127 --> 00:10:12,276
My position?

126
00:10:12,367 --> 00:10:15,120
Well, I grasp the club firmly,
put the weight on my right foot

127
00:10:15,207 --> 00:10:16,686
and wham!

128
00:10:16,767 --> 00:10:19,042
No, no, dear.
He wants you to make a statement.

129
00:10:19,647 --> 00:10:21,922
Very well. Look to the record.

130
00:10:23,487 --> 00:10:25,443
- I'll make it easier for you.
- Very well.

131
00:10:25,527 --> 00:10:26,960
How do you feel about slums?

132
00:10:27,047 --> 00:10:30,005
Oh, preserving our historical landmark
is his first consideration.

133
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:32,726
Start out picking on slums,
you wind up doing away with swamps.

134
00:10:32,807 --> 00:10:35,446
And when you do away with swamps
where are the children going to play?

135
00:10:35,527 --> 00:10:37,358
- Vicious cycle.
- You see.

136
00:10:38,607 --> 00:10:42,202
- Lf you say so. One last question.
- Yes, indeed.

137
00:10:42,327 --> 00:10:45,478
How are you coming along collecting
those 5,000 names that you need

138
00:10:45,567 --> 00:10:46,966
to get on the ballot?

139
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:50,403
At this very moment, two top members
of my staff are busily...

140
00:10:50,487 --> 00:10:51,602
Here they are now.

141
00:10:51,687 --> 00:10:54,645
- Back so soon.
- And why not?

142
00:10:54,727 --> 00:10:58,436
In two hours of tramping around
we got more than 20,000 names.

143
00:10:58,527 --> 00:10:59,755
And a lot of blisters.

144
00:10:59,847 --> 00:11:02,042
Does that answer your question,
my good man?

145
00:11:02,127 --> 00:11:03,162
Yes, sir.

146
00:11:03,247 --> 00:11:05,044
Don't forget the campaign slogan.

147
00:11:05,127 --> 00:11:09,598
Yes. "Gomez Addams. Watch his smoke."
Catchy, isn't it?

148
00:11:20,327 --> 00:11:22,397
Everybody's getting into the campaign.

149
00:11:22,487 --> 00:11:24,478
Even I smoke occasionally.

150
00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:38,118
- My, he's in a hurry.
- Probably has to make a deadline.

151
00:11:38,207 --> 00:11:41,722
Nice man. He just doesn't seem to know
much about politics.

152
00:11:52,247 --> 00:11:55,284
I know all that,
but who are you going to vote for?

153
00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:58,086
Who am I going to vote for?
Well, I'll tell you.

154
00:11:58,167 --> 00:12:01,955
This Addams guy says he's for slums,
swamps, smog,

155
00:12:02,047 --> 00:12:03,924
and the African tsetse fly.

156
00:12:04,047 --> 00:12:05,799
Sounds kind of nutty, doesn't he?

157
00:12:05,887 --> 00:12:09,357
Nutty? Nutty like a fox.
It's a rib. Don't you get it?

158
00:12:09,447 --> 00:12:11,961
Sure. He's teeing off with these politicians

159
00:12:12,047 --> 00:12:14,800
that make promises they know
they're never going to keep.

160
00:12:14,887 --> 00:12:18,675
- I'm voting for the Addams guy.
- Same here. How about you?

161
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:22,200
I'm going to the nearest bar
and get smashed.

162
00:12:26,447 --> 00:12:29,723
- I can't believe it!
- Here are the actual figures, sir.

163
00:12:29,807 --> 00:12:32,640
According to all the polls
Addams is pulling out in front of you.

164
00:12:32,727 --> 00:12:35,287
- But what do you suggest?
- A debate on TV.

165
00:12:35,607 --> 00:12:37,723
A debate on TV?

166
00:12:37,807 --> 00:12:40,924
Addams is a kook.
Get him on the air and prove it. Look,

167
00:12:41,007 --> 00:12:44,716
we'll have the studio audience
loaded with ringers, stacked questions.

168
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:46,957
Booing in all the right places.

169
00:12:47,047 --> 00:12:50,756
Of all the mean,
low-down conniving tricks...

170
00:12:50,967 --> 00:12:53,765
Well, what are you standing there for?
Go and arrange it.

171
00:13:06,727 --> 00:13:08,206
Fortune cookie.

172
00:13:10,327 --> 00:13:13,285
Don't look now
but there's a telephone call for you.

173
00:13:13,367 --> 00:13:15,039
Thank you, Thing.

174
00:13:16,807 --> 00:13:18,957
Hello? Good morning, Mayor.

175
00:13:19,607 --> 00:13:22,963
A debate? I'd love to.
How's this for a theme?

176
00:13:23,407 --> 00:13:27,764
"Resolved that boys and girls
should not go steady until..." What?

177
00:13:28,447 --> 00:13:31,484
Oh, the political issues.
Isn't that a bit extreme?

178
00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:34,797
Very well, we'll do it your way.

179
00:13:35,367 --> 00:13:37,676
Fine. I'll see you then.

180
00:13:39,647 --> 00:13:41,319
- Morticia.
- You called?

181
00:13:42,687 --> 00:13:44,723
The Mayor and I are going to debate
on television.

182
00:13:44,807 --> 00:13:46,126
Oh, darling, do you think you should?

183
00:13:46,207 --> 00:13:48,118
Why not?
Some television producer might see me.

184
00:13:48,207 --> 00:13:50,004
Open up a whole new career for me.

185
00:13:50,087 --> 00:13:52,317
Oh, by the way, the Mayor is coming over
tomorrow morning

186
00:13:52,407 --> 00:13:53,840
to issue a formal challenge.

187
00:13:53,927 --> 00:13:56,566
He's bringing along some reporters
to make sure I don't weasel out.

188
00:13:57,847 --> 00:14:00,998
Me, weasel out? That's not a bad idea.

189
00:14:01,847 --> 00:14:05,840
Darling, television has been the waterloo
of many an aspiring candidate.

190
00:14:05,927 --> 00:14:09,158
But don't you worry, we'll have you
perfectly rehearsed and ready.

191
00:14:10,407 --> 00:14:14,685
Counselor in my despair,
shining beacon in my darkest moments.

192
00:14:15,007 --> 00:14:16,725
Maybe it will be better to weasel out.

193
00:14:16,807 --> 00:14:18,957
No, the Addams family honor is at stake.

194
00:14:19,047 --> 00:14:20,719
The very words of Lafayette Addams.

195
00:14:20,807 --> 00:14:22,763
When he challenged the Duke of Burgundy
to a duel?

196
00:14:22,847 --> 00:14:24,803
Just before he skipped out of town.

197
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:32,559
Now, darling, I want the public to see
the real Gomez Addams.

198
00:14:32,647 --> 00:14:34,046
Oh, very well.

199
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:40,919
No, I don't think that's quite good
for your public image.

200
00:14:41,007 --> 00:14:44,238
- Hang from the chandelier?
- Just smile, dear.

201
00:14:51,047 --> 00:14:52,560
Very sweet.

202
00:14:52,647 --> 00:14:55,764
Now, dear, I want to make sure
we get your best side.

203
00:14:55,847 --> 00:14:57,280
How about this?

204
00:14:58,927 --> 00:15:01,157
- No, that's no good.
- Like this?

205
00:15:02,927 --> 00:15:04,997
No, that's no good, either.

206
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:09,604
Morticia, how's this?

207
00:15:10,527 --> 00:15:12,404
This is his best side.

208
00:15:15,167 --> 00:15:18,842
No, I believe facing the camera
is a bit more customary.

209
00:15:18,927 --> 00:15:21,725
Well, I can bring the camera around here.

210
00:15:21,807 --> 00:15:25,402
No, dear, let's try that.

211
00:15:26,087 --> 00:15:28,806
By george, Morticia,
you are a resourceful director.

212
00:15:29,607 --> 00:15:32,201
- Now, we need a little makeup.
- Makeup.

213
00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:38,240
Oh, Uncle Fester, you only got one side.

214
00:15:43,007 --> 00:15:45,202
That Lafayette Addams was no fool.

215
00:15:45,447 --> 00:15:49,998
Darling, the minute you get on the air,
I want you to square your shoulders,

216
00:15:50,647 --> 00:15:55,004
set your jaw, and put on your glasses,
it makes you look so impressive.

217
00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:57,678
Yes, that's it.

218
00:15:57,767 --> 00:16:01,521
And I'll insist that the camera zoom in
for a big head close-up.

219
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,361
Yes, my dear.

220
00:16:05,487 --> 00:16:07,205
Let's try it, yes.

221
00:16:08,607 --> 00:16:12,885
Now, stare. That's it. Close-up.

222
00:16:20,127 --> 00:16:22,880
That was just a wee bit too close.

223
00:16:23,407 --> 00:16:24,726
But you're getting it, darling.

224
00:16:28,807 --> 00:16:30,160
I've gotten it.

225
00:16:32,927 --> 00:16:35,839
Gomez, I was just going to test
my new guillotine. Would you like...

226
00:16:35,927 --> 00:16:38,157
Fester, don't you know
I'm going to debate the Mayor?

227
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,317
Can't you see I'm wrestling
with major issues?

228
00:16:40,407 --> 00:16:41,442
Major who?

229
00:16:41,527 --> 00:16:43,916
Labor, foreign policies, social security.

230
00:16:44,007 --> 00:16:45,838
Yeah, what do you think
should be done about them?

231
00:16:45,927 --> 00:16:47,360
That's what I was going to ask you.

232
00:16:47,447 --> 00:16:50,917
You're no help at all.
Nothing but interruptions and distractions.

233
00:16:53,607 --> 00:16:57,043
Uncle Fester, I want you
to taste my new recipe.

234
00:16:57,567 --> 00:16:59,478
Braised lion loins.

235
00:17:02,327 --> 00:17:06,764
Say, that is tasty.
Something is the matter with Gomez.

236
00:17:07,407 --> 00:17:10,126
He doesn't even want to play
with my guillotine.

237
00:17:10,207 --> 00:17:14,405
He has been acting strangely.
I'd better give this my personal attention.

238
00:17:18,407 --> 00:17:21,479
Fourscore and nine years ago... No.

239
00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:24,957
Fourscore and ten years ago...
That doesn't sound right, either.

240
00:17:25,407 --> 00:17:27,841
- Oh, bubele.
- Good morning, my dear.

241
00:17:28,207 --> 00:17:30,198
Gomez, darling, I called you bubele.

242
00:17:30,287 --> 00:17:33,404
The world will little note,
nor long remember... No.

243
00:17:33,567 --> 00:17:37,640
Gomez, dear, would you like a little snack,
some pâté de foie gras?

244
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,804
Crepes suzettes? Gomez?

245
00:17:48,007 --> 00:17:50,601
Friends, Romans, countrymen... That's it!

246
00:17:52,527 --> 00:17:54,563
Morticia, what happened?

247
00:17:54,647 --> 00:17:56,205
It's even worse than you thought.

248
00:17:56,287 --> 00:17:58,926
It all started
when he began running for mayor.

249
00:17:59,007 --> 00:18:03,398
Oh, dear, sweet, kind Gomez.
I've turned him into a Frankenstein.

250
00:18:04,127 --> 00:18:05,958
There is a resemblance.

251
00:18:06,047 --> 00:18:09,005
I can't interfere now. Oh, yes, I can.

252
00:18:09,087 --> 00:18:12,875
I forced him into this race
and I'll force him out for his own good.

253
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:16,516
- How?
- I'll need some cooperation.

254
00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:19,637
- You can count on me.
- Me, too.

255
00:18:21,247 --> 00:18:23,886
Oh, dear, sweet Thing.

256
00:18:26,687 --> 00:18:30,202
Not only do I accept the challenge
of a television debate,

257
00:18:30,287 --> 00:18:33,836
but I refuse to sink to the level
of this corrupt old windbag

258
00:18:33,927 --> 00:18:35,758
and engage in any name-calling.

259
00:18:36,287 --> 00:18:37,402
Mama!

260
00:18:37,607 --> 00:18:40,121
I'm sorry I can't stick around, son,

261
00:18:40,207 --> 00:18:44,803
but I'll never get these office floors
scrubbed just sitting here on my bucket.

262
00:18:45,247 --> 00:18:47,158
Well, I'm off to my job.

263
00:18:47,247 --> 00:18:49,636
Job? I didn't even know you had a mop.

264
00:18:49,727 --> 00:18:51,638
Just one moment, madam.

265
00:18:52,407 --> 00:18:56,116
Did I understand you to say
that Gomez Addams is your son?

266
00:18:56,207 --> 00:18:58,198
Sure, has been for years.

267
00:18:58,647 --> 00:19:02,322
Oh, thank you.
If you bring it back I'll autograph it for you.

268
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:07,037
Well, gentlemen, did you hear that?

269
00:19:07,767 --> 00:19:10,281
And this is the man
who asks you to elect him

270
00:19:10,367 --> 00:19:13,165
to the high office of mayor of our fair city.

271
00:19:13,247 --> 00:19:17,445
And who forces that old,
gray-haired mother of his

272
00:19:17,527 --> 00:19:19,563
to scrub office floors.

273
00:19:19,647 --> 00:19:21,763
What do you have to say to that, sir?

274
00:19:21,847 --> 00:19:24,236
There's a perfectly simple explanation.

275
00:19:24,487 --> 00:19:25,840
I just can't think of it.

276
00:19:26,727 --> 00:19:29,639
Meaning, of course,
that you are not going to help.

277
00:19:29,727 --> 00:19:32,321
Of course I'm going to help her.
I'm going to get her a new mop.

278
00:19:32,407 --> 00:19:34,318
That old one did look pretty scruffy.

279
00:19:36,927 --> 00:19:39,282
Gomez, I just had to see you!

280
00:19:39,367 --> 00:19:41,881
It has been hours, hasn't it?
I'm really touched.

281
00:19:41,967 --> 00:19:44,925
Say, I like your new outfit.
Who's your tailor?

282
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:50,721
Never mind that. I just wanted you
to know you'd get my vote if I had one.

283
00:19:52,247 --> 00:19:54,283
They'll never take me alive.

284
00:19:56,807 --> 00:19:57,922
Who was that?

285
00:19:58,007 --> 00:20:00,441
Oh, that's Uncle Fester,
the family Beau Brummell.

286
00:20:00,527 --> 00:20:03,485
Off to the races, from the looks
of the outfit he was wearing.

287
00:20:03,567 --> 00:20:06,081
I'm leaving that beast
and no one can stop me.

288
00:20:08,127 --> 00:20:09,845
- What happened?
- What happened?

289
00:20:09,927 --> 00:20:12,600
You know what happened,
you wife-beater.

290
00:20:12,927 --> 00:20:14,360
And you gentlemen of the press,

291
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:17,883
if you know your job,
you'll splatter this all over the front pages.

292
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:22,997
And as for you, when the public
finds out what a vile fiend you really are

293
00:20:23,247 --> 00:20:25,636
it'll be curtains for you. The end.

294
00:20:27,167 --> 00:20:29,362
Tish, that's French.

295
00:20:31,007 --> 00:20:35,239
And when they find out that
you're also a scoundrel and a cardsharp

296
00:20:35,327 --> 00:20:40,799
and a vain, self-centered,
sweet, kind, beautiful...

297
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:44,722
And a vote for Gomez Addams
is a vote for clean government!

298
00:20:46,887 --> 00:20:51,915
Well, gentlemen, I hope you will
give this story the treatment it deserves.

299
00:20:52,407 --> 00:20:56,844
- We will. And it'll be a landslide.
- Well, thank you.

300
00:20:56,927 --> 00:20:58,838
An Addams landslide.

301
00:20:59,327 --> 00:21:01,716
- Addams landslide?
- Get with it, Mayor.

302
00:21:01,807 --> 00:21:05,197
This is the absolute tops in satire
on dirty politics,

303
00:21:05,287 --> 00:21:07,642
mud-slinging and character assassination.

304
00:21:07,727 --> 00:21:09,922
Addams is even getting my vote.

305
00:21:13,047 --> 00:21:15,197
- What'll I do?
- Concede.

306
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,996
- What?
- You're all washed-up anyway.

307
00:21:18,087 --> 00:21:21,716
There'll be other elections
and the crowd loves a good loser.

308
00:21:26,207 --> 00:21:29,244
A new political star has risen.

309
00:21:29,327 --> 00:21:33,605
Gentlemen,
I give you His Honor, Gomez Addams.

310
00:21:34,047 --> 00:21:35,844
- Gomez?
- Yes.

311
00:21:35,927 --> 00:21:37,883
- Do you really like this outfit?
- Oh, yes.

312
00:21:37,967 --> 00:21:40,640
Not now, Uncle Fester. Please, dear.
What were you saying?

313
00:21:40,727 --> 00:21:43,560
Well, the people have spoken

314
00:21:43,767 --> 00:21:47,043
when they first rushed to sign
that original petition.

315
00:21:47,127 --> 00:21:49,482
- That's silly.
- What's silly?

316
00:21:49,567 --> 00:21:53,799
Well, where we got those names from,
no one was rushing or speaking.

317
00:21:53,927 --> 00:21:55,838
Uncle Fester,
where did you get those names?

318
00:21:55,927 --> 00:21:59,203
The Happy Rest Cemetery.
Right off the headstones.

319
00:21:59,287 --> 00:22:01,039
- Cemetery?
- Yeah.

320
00:22:04,607 --> 00:22:08,725
Addams, I'm afraid
that disqualifies you, old boy.

321
00:22:08,807 --> 00:22:10,604
Better luck next time.

322
00:22:15,367 --> 00:22:18,086
Oh, Gomez, darling, I'm dreadfully sorry.

323
00:22:18,447 --> 00:22:22,679
I feel personally responsible for all of this.
Can you ever forgive me?

324
00:22:23,047 --> 00:22:25,322
- I doubt it.
- Bubele.

325
00:22:29,527 --> 00:22:34,920
So help me, if I live to be a thousand,
I'll never, never forgive you.

326
00:22:56,047 --> 00:22:57,400
What is it, darling?

327
00:22:57,487 --> 00:23:00,399
I simply must know
how I'd have fared as Mayor.

328
00:23:03,487 --> 00:23:08,607
Statesmanship, leadership, initiative,

329
00:23:09,327 --> 00:23:13,479
intelligence and ability.

330
00:23:14,167 --> 00:23:17,239
- Don't forget good looks, dear.
- Right, good looks.

331
00:23:24,847 --> 00:23:27,077
Darling, is "impeachment" good?

332
00:23:28,327 --> 00:23:32,081
"Chaos, mismanagement, corruption?"

333
00:23:34,127 --> 00:23:36,846
Well, in that case,
impeachment would be the best thing.

334
00:23:36,927 --> 00:23:39,077
Who wants to be mayor
of a bankrupt city?

335
00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:41,522
You withdrew just in time, darling.