1 00:00:16,967 --> 00:00:18,844 They're creepy and they're kooky 2 00:00:18,927 --> 00:00:20,724 Mysterious and spooky 3 00:00:20,847 --> 00:00:22,724 They're altogether ooky 4 00:00:22,807 --> 00:00:24,320 The Addams family 5 00:00:24,687 --> 00:00:26,564 The house is a museum 6 00:00:26,647 --> 00:00:28,478 When people come to see 'em 7 00:00:28,567 --> 00:00:30,398 They really are a scream 8 00:00:30,487 --> 00:00:32,125 The Addams family 9 00:00:33,287 --> 00:00:34,322 Neat. 10 00:00:35,127 --> 00:00:36,116 Sweet. 11 00:00:38,807 --> 00:00:39,842 Petite. 12 00:00:39,927 --> 00:00:41,758 So get a witch's shawl on 13 00:00:41,847 --> 00:00:43,724 A broomstick you can crawl on 14 00:00:43,807 --> 00:00:45,604 We're gonna pay a call on 15 00:00:45,687 --> 00:00:48,804 The Addams family 16 00:01:06,247 --> 00:01:07,999 Oh, don't stop, please, it's so soothing. 17 00:01:08,087 --> 00:01:10,237 Darling, I've almost worn out the drill. 18 00:01:10,327 --> 00:01:11,646 Sharpen it up. Sharpen it up. 19 00:01:11,727 --> 00:01:13,206 Now, dear, too much of a good thing... 20 00:01:13,287 --> 00:01:16,040 Querida, please, you were just hitting a nerve. 21 00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:18,477 Okay, now, just one more time. 22 00:01:26,967 --> 00:01:30,004 I'm sorry to spoil your fun, but something's wrong with Pugsley. 23 00:01:30,087 --> 00:01:32,442 He hasn't spoken a word since he came home from school. 24 00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:33,926 Maybe he can't think of anything to say. 25 00:01:34,007 --> 00:01:36,885 He's just lying there on his bed of nails, staring up at the ceiling. 26 00:01:36,967 --> 00:01:39,276 Perhaps the poor little tyke is all tuckered out. 27 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,959 But he hasn't eaten anything. 28 00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,358 - Pugsley, not eaten? - No! 29 00:01:51,447 --> 00:01:53,438 The poor dear looks miserable. 30 00:01:53,527 --> 00:01:55,324 Well, he never was too attractive. 31 00:01:59,207 --> 00:02:02,916 Pugsley, darling, tell your mother what's wrong. 32 00:02:03,007 --> 00:02:06,079 - Would you rather tell your father? - Or your uncle? 33 00:02:07,247 --> 00:02:09,886 Oh, dear. What do we do now? We've run out of relatives. 34 00:02:20,967 --> 00:02:22,036 I'm in love. 35 00:02:23,527 --> 00:02:27,076 Pugsley in love. Oh, my baby's growing up. 36 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,763 Don't worry, my dear. 37 00:02:29,847 --> 00:02:32,156 Little Casanova is a chip off the old block. 38 00:02:32,247 --> 00:02:35,683 I'll never forget my first crush. She was a ravishing creature of eight. 39 00:02:35,767 --> 00:02:39,203 But it didn't work out. First time I kissed her, we locked braces. 40 00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:41,397 Took the dentist two hours to pry us apart. 41 00:02:44,127 --> 00:02:45,640 Good shot, querida. 42 00:02:47,247 --> 00:02:49,807 It's depressing to see Pugsley so sad. 43 00:02:49,887 --> 00:02:50,956 Ruining my game. 44 00:02:54,807 --> 00:02:55,922 See what I mean? 45 00:02:59,407 --> 00:03:02,205 I simply can't get Pugsley's problem off my mind. 46 00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:03,636 Sad. 47 00:03:07,367 --> 00:03:11,963 Gomez, please, have you forgotten completely about poor little Pugsley? 48 00:03:12,327 --> 00:03:14,522 We must do something to cheer that boy up. 49 00:03:15,767 --> 00:03:18,998 - How about a new toy? - Splendid idea, my dear. I'll take care of it. 50 00:03:19,087 --> 00:03:22,841 You do that, darling. You're so sensible and practical. 51 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:37,435 - Show me the boy who wouldn't like this. - It's beautiful, darling. 52 00:03:37,527 --> 00:03:40,360 - What is it? - What is it? Look. 53 00:03:44,927 --> 00:03:46,326 Marvelous! 54 00:03:46,407 --> 00:03:52,243 Not only... constructive, but... body-building. 55 00:03:52,327 --> 00:03:55,956 - What? - Not only... 56 00:03:58,727 --> 00:04:01,719 Not only constructive, but body-building. 57 00:04:02,447 --> 00:04:06,201 Darling, I might have known you'd get a practical gift like this. 58 00:04:06,927 --> 00:04:08,246 May I try? 59 00:04:12,847 --> 00:04:16,044 Oh! This is marvelous. 60 00:04:16,127 --> 00:04:21,406 - Pugsley will have a wonderful time. - Time? 61 00:04:24,607 --> 00:04:25,835 7:45. 62 00:04:30,287 --> 00:04:31,925 What's going on here? 63 00:04:32,007 --> 00:04:35,317 - The new toy for Pugsley. - What? 64 00:04:35,407 --> 00:04:38,763 Pugsley's new toy. 65 00:04:39,047 --> 00:04:40,605 Will you shut that thing off? 66 00:04:43,567 --> 00:04:47,276 - New toy for Pugsley. - Oh, that's ridiculous. 67 00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:49,358 - Why? Why? - Why? 68 00:04:49,447 --> 00:04:50,721 He's got one already. 69 00:04:52,127 --> 00:04:56,166 Well, in that case, I'll have a nice talk with the boy. 70 00:04:56,367 --> 00:05:00,997 That's a good idea. Hey, this thing is contagious. 71 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:07,398 - I'll return this thing. - No, I'll take it. 72 00:05:10,567 --> 00:05:12,922 Boy, this thing really works! 73 00:05:27,767 --> 00:05:29,519 What's the matter, darling, can't you sleep? 74 00:05:30,647 --> 00:05:34,117 I know, how about if I read you a nice ghost story? 75 00:05:34,687 --> 00:05:37,155 I don't feel like a bedtime story tonight. 76 00:05:37,447 --> 00:05:42,396 Oh? All right, darling, try to get some rest. Good night. 77 00:05:58,487 --> 00:06:00,478 Pugsley, what on earth are you doing? 78 00:06:01,607 --> 00:06:04,075 - I'm writing a letter. - A letter? 79 00:06:06,007 --> 00:06:08,965 - Scented? - Licorice, my favorite. 80 00:06:10,247 --> 00:06:14,160 "And the way you squint your little beady eyes is real keen." 81 00:06:14,967 --> 00:06:17,401 Pugsley darling, that's no way to write a love letter. 82 00:06:17,967 --> 00:06:19,639 Why? What should I say? 83 00:06:20,127 --> 00:06:21,526 Oh, I do wish I had some of the letters 84 00:06:21,607 --> 00:06:23,643 your father wrote me when we were courting. 85 00:06:26,207 --> 00:06:28,675 Why, thank you, Thing. That's very thoughtful. 86 00:06:29,407 --> 00:06:33,195 Now, your father wrote some very fiery letters. 87 00:06:33,647 --> 00:06:34,966 Here's one. 88 00:06:38,927 --> 00:06:40,883 That was a little too fiery. 89 00:06:41,927 --> 00:06:42,916 Let's see. 90 00:06:49,327 --> 00:06:53,286 No, I don't think so. Perhaps you better write some letters in your own way, dear. 91 00:06:53,367 --> 00:06:55,164 Now, kiss Mother and run to bed. 92 00:06:55,247 --> 00:06:56,396 It's very late. 93 00:07:07,607 --> 00:07:08,801 Good night, darling. 94 00:07:28,247 --> 00:07:29,396 Oh, boy! 95 00:07:36,727 --> 00:07:40,322 Dear Teacher... 96 00:07:41,967 --> 00:07:44,879 "Dear Teacher, this is..." 97 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:52,117 One of your students wrote this letter? 98 00:07:52,207 --> 00:07:55,722 I've always considered the Addams boy a little strange, 99 00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:57,401 but this letter... 100 00:07:57,927 --> 00:08:00,122 I decided it was a matter for the principal. 101 00:08:00,207 --> 00:08:04,086 What's he doing in the fourth grade? There's no signature? 102 00:08:04,407 --> 00:08:05,920 How do you know the Addams boy wrote it? 103 00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:08,077 I saw him sneak it on my desk. 104 00:08:08,247 --> 00:08:11,205 Well, you had better see Romeo's folks about this immediately. 105 00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:15,639 I was hoping you'd come with me, Mr. Jennings. 106 00:08:16,087 --> 00:08:20,319 You're so diplomatic, assured, poised, 107 00:08:21,087 --> 00:08:22,998 masculine. 108 00:08:23,087 --> 00:08:26,841 - True, true. - And I am so bumbling, 109 00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:31,006 - helpless, ineffective... - True, true. 110 00:08:31,847 --> 00:08:35,999 - Feminine. - Come, Miss Dunbar. 111 00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:39,000 You'll have to handle this yourself. 112 00:08:39,087 --> 00:08:42,921 And please, Miss Dunbar, try not to make a fool of yourself. 113 00:08:43,007 --> 00:08:44,440 Yes, Mr. Jennings. 114 00:08:51,087 --> 00:08:53,157 That kid should be writing Peyton Place. 115 00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,645 Wonderful sport, Lurch. 116 00:09:15,807 --> 00:09:20,323 It has its ups and downs. 117 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:24,324 Just like life and love. 118 00:09:24,407 --> 00:09:25,635 That reminds me, 119 00:09:26,327 --> 00:09:29,205 - how is Pugsley? - Normal. 120 00:09:31,047 --> 00:09:32,878 Already forgotten his teacher. 121 00:09:34,847 --> 00:09:37,520 That's my Pugsley. Love them and leave them. 122 00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:41,285 Yes, Mr. Addams. 123 00:09:45,847 --> 00:09:47,246 Bring me a ladder, Lurch. 124 00:09:48,647 --> 00:09:50,558 Better answer the doorbell first. 125 00:09:52,047 --> 00:09:53,844 Yes, Mr. Addams. 126 00:09:57,967 --> 00:10:00,720 Pugsley's teacher. 127 00:10:02,247 --> 00:10:06,479 - Ahoy, Miss Dunbar! - There you are. 128 00:10:06,847 --> 00:10:08,280 Yes. 129 00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:10,398 You know me? 130 00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:13,206 Of course. Don't you remember that enchanted evening 131 00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:15,125 across the crowded PTA meeting? 132 00:10:16,567 --> 00:10:18,000 Never mind the ladder, Lurch. 133 00:10:18,247 --> 00:10:19,282 Alley-oop. 134 00:10:21,727 --> 00:10:22,796 How do you do? 135 00:10:23,127 --> 00:10:24,845 Lurch, you can take the trampoline to your room. 136 00:10:24,927 --> 00:10:26,883 Yes, Mr. Addams. 137 00:10:27,247 --> 00:10:31,081 - Tea, coffee, champagne? - Please, this is not a social visit. 138 00:10:31,167 --> 00:10:35,240 I have a... Well, there's a letter I must read to you. 139 00:10:35,327 --> 00:10:37,636 Well, sit right down. Make yourself comfortable. 140 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:41,196 Read away. 141 00:10:42,927 --> 00:10:46,476 - Some of this is embarrassing. - Really? My favorite reading. 142 00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,838 Very embarrassing. 143 00:10:49,487 --> 00:10:54,117 - Well, then read the parts that aren't. - There was one sentence. 144 00:10:55,127 --> 00:10:57,925 "When I first saw you from afar, 145 00:10:58,487 --> 00:11:00,876 "my heart flamed with a fierce passion, 146 00:11:01,447 --> 00:11:03,438 "and when you spoke French, 147 00:11:03,687 --> 00:11:07,646 "ooh-la-la! Ah, your radiant beauty, 148 00:11:07,807 --> 00:11:09,798 - "your captivating allure..." - "...your captivating allure, 149 00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:13,159 "drew me to you like honey to a suckle." 150 00:11:14,327 --> 00:11:15,396 Honey to a suckle? 151 00:11:17,447 --> 00:11:21,201 Then you wrote this? 152 00:11:21,287 --> 00:11:23,721 I certainly did. 153 00:11:24,527 --> 00:11:28,236 Oh, Mr. Addams! I don't know what to say. 154 00:11:28,327 --> 00:11:32,718 I've never had an attractive man like you fall in love with me before. 155 00:11:32,807 --> 00:11:33,842 What? 156 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:38,159 In fact, I've never had any man fall in love with me before. That's why I... 157 00:11:38,527 --> 00:11:42,645 Mr. Addams, do you think we dare go through with this? 158 00:11:43,607 --> 00:11:46,565 Maybe we should stop before it's too late. 159 00:11:47,527 --> 00:11:49,518 Yes, we must end it. 160 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,401 It's madness. 161 00:11:55,447 --> 00:11:59,360 Let it be madness! What does it matter as long as we have each other? 162 00:12:02,967 --> 00:12:04,036 Mr... 163 00:12:10,447 --> 00:12:11,960 We have a guest, my dear. 164 00:12:13,247 --> 00:12:15,841 I'll have Lurch set an extra place for dinner. 165 00:12:19,687 --> 00:12:22,485 - I think I'd better explain this to my wife. - I think you better. 166 00:12:36,527 --> 00:12:38,995 So you see, querida, it wasn't my fault. 167 00:12:39,807 --> 00:12:42,480 Besides, she squeezes harder than that boa constrictor I got you 168 00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:43,795 for your last birthday. 169 00:12:45,207 --> 00:12:46,435 I can sympathize with her. 170 00:12:47,127 --> 00:12:48,719 I know how irresistible you are. 171 00:12:51,567 --> 00:12:53,523 I guess I'll have to tell her she's making a mistake. 172 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,798 - Darling, you can't do that. - I can't? 173 00:12:56,047 --> 00:12:57,400 Well, of course not. It would crush her, darling. 174 00:12:57,487 --> 00:12:58,920 Two rejections in one day. 175 00:12:59,007 --> 00:13:01,567 - Two? - First Pugsley, and then you. 176 00:13:03,807 --> 00:13:06,275 Cara, you're such an understanding woman. 177 00:13:06,367 --> 00:13:10,155 It would be cruel to hurt her. You must act the part of a great lover. 178 00:13:10,647 --> 00:13:14,481 But if I lead her on, she'll have to know the truth eventually. 179 00:13:14,807 --> 00:13:17,924 "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." 180 00:13:18,327 --> 00:13:19,680 - Lincoln? - Jefferson. 181 00:13:21,847 --> 00:13:24,680 I'll even play the jealous wife, give it a touch of realism. 182 00:13:25,127 --> 00:13:28,039 Morticia, you're all woman. 183 00:13:29,207 --> 00:13:30,196 Yes, I know. 184 00:13:32,727 --> 00:13:34,638 For you, I'll do it. 185 00:13:36,087 --> 00:13:37,076 I can't. 186 00:13:38,087 --> 00:13:40,555 Querida, I can't even look at another woman. 187 00:13:40,647 --> 00:13:43,764 Darling, you're doing it for me. 188 00:13:45,327 --> 00:13:46,521 For you. 189 00:13:48,207 --> 00:13:52,439 Oh, darling, say it with flowers. 190 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:58,516 And, Gomez, now, I know how you get carried away, 191 00:14:00,167 --> 00:14:03,204 so when I say "stop," stop. 192 00:14:14,967 --> 00:14:16,161 For you, Morticia. 193 00:14:19,687 --> 00:14:22,201 Miss Dunbar, my treasure. 194 00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:28,002 Mr. Addams, I've been thinking about us. 195 00:14:28,407 --> 00:14:31,285 - I'm afraid we're making a mistake. - A mistake? 196 00:14:34,567 --> 00:14:37,035 - Did Samson and Delilah make a mistake? - Yes. 197 00:14:37,727 --> 00:14:39,399 Did Antony and Cleopatra make a mistake? 198 00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:41,842 - Yes. - Did Romeo and Juliet make a mistake? 199 00:14:41,927 --> 00:14:44,646 - Yes. - Well, everyone's entitled to one mistake. 200 00:14:49,727 --> 00:14:55,404 - You're my only passion! - Mr. Addams. Mr... 201 00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:02,481 Let's fly away together, to the Black Forest. 202 00:15:03,127 --> 00:15:05,243 - But what about your wife? - She's been there. 203 00:15:09,727 --> 00:15:12,799 A Black Forest summer, winter, autumn, spring... 204 00:15:15,127 --> 00:15:19,120 - Fester, can't you see I'm busy? - Gomez, how could you? 205 00:15:19,207 --> 00:15:20,401 It's easy. Watch. 206 00:15:22,887 --> 00:15:26,596 I don't know about you, but I come from a long line of stool pigeons. 207 00:15:26,687 --> 00:15:27,961 Morticia! 208 00:15:36,927 --> 00:15:39,964 Morticia, I don't know how to tell you this, but your husband's a fake. 209 00:15:40,047 --> 00:15:42,038 My husband, Gomez? 210 00:15:42,847 --> 00:15:46,476 You got another? He's playing footsies with another woman. 211 00:15:46,567 --> 00:15:49,479 And when I say footsies, I don't mean footsies. 212 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,402 Dear noble Gomez. 213 00:15:53,007 --> 00:15:56,283 - Noble? - He's just pretending, Uncle Fester. 214 00:15:56,807 --> 00:15:59,799 Pretending? Then why is he drooling so much? 215 00:15:59,887 --> 00:16:01,639 He has to be convincing. 216 00:16:02,847 --> 00:16:04,405 He sure convinced me. 217 00:16:04,647 --> 00:16:06,603 Having that woman laying down in his arms like that, 218 00:16:06,687 --> 00:16:08,518 with her hair straggling down all over her shoulders 219 00:16:08,607 --> 00:16:11,963 and her eyes afire and her cheeks aflame... 220 00:16:12,687 --> 00:16:16,157 - You saw all that? - Yeah, and I only caught a glance. 221 00:16:18,927 --> 00:16:22,283 I do believe dear Gomez has built up that woman's ego sufficiently. 222 00:16:22,727 --> 00:16:26,959 - Uncle Fester, you better go tell him. - Don't worry, I know what to tell him. 223 00:16:27,047 --> 00:16:29,925 Oh, Uncle Fester, now, do be discreet. 224 00:16:30,927 --> 00:16:36,399 We don't want to offend Miss Dunbar. Just tell Gomez I said, "Don't. Stop." 225 00:16:37,607 --> 00:16:40,679 - "Don't. Stop." - He'll understand. 226 00:16:40,807 --> 00:16:42,763 You know me. Old dependable. 227 00:16:48,647 --> 00:16:50,285 I just adore finger-painting. 228 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:03,606 - But, Mr. Addams, your wife. - What wife? 229 00:17:03,687 --> 00:17:06,281 Nobody must be allowed to intrude on our ecstasy. 230 00:17:09,687 --> 00:17:10,676 I can't look. 231 00:17:18,127 --> 00:17:21,358 Gomez, I've always loved you as a nephew. 232 00:17:22,127 --> 00:17:26,325 Why not? I'm your uncle. But you're not yourself, Gomez. 233 00:17:26,487 --> 00:17:28,364 I can tell just by touching you. 234 00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:31,723 Suddenly you're hard and cold. 235 00:17:31,807 --> 00:17:35,402 But if you won't listen to me, perhaps you will listen to Morticia. 236 00:17:36,527 --> 00:17:38,916 I should have put out the "don't disturb" sign. 237 00:17:41,487 --> 00:17:43,717 There you are. Sorry. 238 00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:46,722 The Black Forest is indescribable. Let me tell you about it. 239 00:17:49,247 --> 00:17:53,798 - Morticia says, "Don't stop." - Don't stop? Thanks. 240 00:17:54,927 --> 00:17:57,282 What was I saying before we were interrupted? Oh, yes. 241 00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:59,358 I was saying that nobody must be allowed to interrupt. 242 00:17:59,887 --> 00:18:01,240 Morticia! 243 00:18:03,967 --> 00:18:07,482 - Morticia, we've lost him. - He didn't stop? 244 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:10,485 - Didn't even break stride. - Oh, dear. 245 00:18:11,527 --> 00:18:14,803 Oh, here, Uncle Fester, finish this for me. 246 00:18:27,887 --> 00:18:29,718 - Mr. Addams... - Hush, my darling. 247 00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:32,481 Ivy-covered cottage beside a lovely swamp. 248 00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:34,762 - But, Mr. Addams... - Hush, my darling. 249 00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:37,998 We can find our own little secluded hideaway, far from everyone, 250 00:18:38,487 --> 00:18:40,318 where the magic stillness of the night 251 00:18:40,407 --> 00:18:43,160 is broken only by the merry buzzing of the tsetse fly. 252 00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:45,158 - But, Mr. Addams... - Yes, my darling. 253 00:18:45,647 --> 00:18:47,717 - What is it? - You're breaking my back. 254 00:18:49,047 --> 00:18:52,244 - Gomez. - Excuse me. 255 00:18:54,287 --> 00:18:56,721 - Well, what do you think? - I think it's dreadful. 256 00:18:57,607 --> 00:18:59,996 Well, I was doing a lot better until her back gave out. 257 00:19:00,087 --> 00:19:02,647 - I'll show you what I mean. - Gomez, what's gotten into you? 258 00:19:02,927 --> 00:19:05,487 - You're acting disgracefully. - I am? 259 00:19:05,607 --> 00:19:07,757 Yes, you are. It's as though you don't care at all. 260 00:19:07,927 --> 00:19:10,999 - It's as bad as that? - It most certainly is! 261 00:19:11,207 --> 00:19:13,482 - Lf you'd only make some effort... - Just watch me. 262 00:19:13,807 --> 00:19:16,367 I'll show you what the man you married is really like. 263 00:19:20,687 --> 00:19:22,006 Oh, what have I done? 264 00:19:22,527 --> 00:19:25,917 Our wonderful life together, our magical moments, 265 00:19:26,447 --> 00:19:29,405 gone, broken, 266 00:19:30,447 --> 00:19:31,960 smashed to bits. 267 00:19:35,647 --> 00:19:36,636 Pardon me. 268 00:19:40,567 --> 00:19:43,240 Good God, Morticia, what a performance! 269 00:19:43,327 --> 00:19:46,603 Worthy of a Sarah Bernhardt, a Greta Garbo, a Mamie Van Doren. 270 00:19:46,687 --> 00:19:48,882 Oh, Gomez, why? Why? Why? 271 00:19:48,967 --> 00:19:51,242 Why not? Why not? Why not? How was that? 272 00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:54,843 Oh, but enough of this small talk! My heart belongs to what's-her-name! 273 00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:58,476 Please, Gomez, please, dear, think of all of our happy moments together. 274 00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:00,523 A sham! Where were we? 275 00:20:00,607 --> 00:20:02,325 - Mr. Addams... - Hush, my darling. 276 00:20:03,567 --> 00:20:05,717 Can't you see it's all over between us? 277 00:20:06,447 --> 00:20:09,325 Gomez, I'm leaving this house and taking the children with me. 278 00:20:09,407 --> 00:20:10,442 Go ahead and leave! 279 00:20:10,527 --> 00:20:12,882 - Mr. Addams... - Hush, my darling. Take the children. 280 00:20:12,967 --> 00:20:15,845 Take the neighbors' children. Take Uncle Fester. Take Mama. 281 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:19,044 - She's your mama. - Very well, we'll share custody. 282 00:20:19,127 --> 00:20:20,719 But I get full custody of Lurch. 283 00:20:31,367 --> 00:20:32,595 Mr. Addams. 284 00:20:37,127 --> 00:20:38,355 There you are. 285 00:20:49,407 --> 00:20:53,036 Mr. Addams, will you please pick me up? 286 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,406 Yes, of course. 287 00:21:01,167 --> 00:21:02,919 It will be you and me. 288 00:21:04,047 --> 00:21:06,242 Mr. Jennings. 289 00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:10,120 Miss Dunbar. 290 00:21:13,567 --> 00:21:17,162 Sir, if you're a jealous husband or boyfriend, the whole thing was a mistake. 291 00:21:17,287 --> 00:21:20,359 - An April fool joke. - An April fool joke in October? 292 00:21:20,527 --> 00:21:21,801 I like to get an early start. 293 00:21:23,007 --> 00:21:27,683 - My glasses. Where are my glasses? - Where did you drop them, Miss Dunbar? 294 00:21:27,767 --> 00:21:31,521 - I didn't drop them, they just flew off. - Flew... 295 00:21:33,207 --> 00:21:36,995 Why, Isobel, you have beautiful eyes. 296 00:21:39,767 --> 00:21:44,921 Sir, you are leading this poor, lovesick girl on, 297 00:21:45,007 --> 00:21:46,360 and I just want to say, 298 00:21:46,807 --> 00:21:47,876 good luck. 299 00:21:53,047 --> 00:21:55,641 Querida, I was just carrying out your instructions. 300 00:21:55,967 --> 00:21:57,559 But I pleaded with you to stop. 301 00:21:57,647 --> 00:22:00,639 I thought you were acting. Believe me, cara mia, 302 00:22:00,727 --> 00:22:03,400 when you spoke to me in French, it was all I could do to restrain myself. 303 00:22:03,567 --> 00:22:04,886 What was it you said? 304 00:22:09,327 --> 00:22:10,760 Speak some more French. 305 00:22:12,967 --> 00:22:14,559 - Anything! - Hush, my darling. 306 00:22:15,527 --> 00:22:19,805 Oh, my poor darling one, it must have been torture for you, 307 00:22:19,887 --> 00:22:23,766 making love to that strange woman all the time, while you were longing for me, 308 00:22:24,167 --> 00:22:25,725 and I made you do it. 309 00:22:25,807 --> 00:22:28,367 Oh, can you ever forgive me, darling, can you? 310 00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:32,440 - Yes, if you get me a pulmotor. - Of course, dear, for Christmas. 311 00:22:32,927 --> 00:22:34,997 - But I... - Hush, my darling. 312 00:23:01,367 --> 00:23:03,722 Oh, dear. I ruined your newspaper. 313 00:23:04,727 --> 00:23:06,683 Think nothing of it. It's last week's. 314 00:23:09,087 --> 00:23:12,523 That's very sensible, dear. I understand they're much cheaper. 315 00:23:12,607 --> 00:23:13,835 Much. 316 00:23:17,007 --> 00:23:18,599 Oh, the mail is in. 317 00:23:19,327 --> 00:23:20,601 Thank you, Thing. 318 00:23:21,527 --> 00:23:23,722 Oh, it's from dear Miss Dunbar. 319 00:23:25,527 --> 00:23:26,721 Did she get over me? 320 00:23:26,807 --> 00:23:28,206 - Completely. - She did? 321 00:23:33,047 --> 00:23:36,005 - Pugsley, where are you going? - To mail a letter. 322 00:23:36,167 --> 00:23:38,397 - Oh, to who? - My new teacher. 323 00:23:40,407 --> 00:23:42,921 I hope this one isn't as fickle.