1
00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:18,839
They're creepy and they're kooky
2
00:00:18,927 --> 00:00:20,804
Mysterious and spooky
3
00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:22,684
They're altogether ooky
4
00:00:22,767 --> 00:00:24,644
The Addams family
5
00:00:24,727 --> 00:00:26,604
The house is a museum
6
00:00:26,687 --> 00:00:28,518
When people come to see 'em
7
00:00:28,607 --> 00:00:30,404
They really are a scream
8
00:00:30,487 --> 00:00:32,045
The Addams family
9
00:00:33,487 --> 00:00:34,476
Neat.
10
00:00:35,127 --> 00:00:36,196
Sweet.
11
00:00:38,887 --> 00:00:39,876
Petite.
12
00:00:39,967 --> 00:00:41,798
So get a witch's shawl on
13
00:00:41,887 --> 00:00:43,718
A broomstick you can crawl on
14
00:00:43,807 --> 00:00:45,638
We're gonna pay a call on
15
00:00:45,727 --> 00:00:48,605
The Addams family
16
00:01:04,207 --> 00:01:05,799
Oh, it's a lovely night.
17
00:01:07,047 --> 00:01:08,560
That looks wonderful, Gomez.
18
00:01:08,647 --> 00:01:10,763
Yeah, all it needs is a final touch.
19
00:01:16,847 --> 00:01:18,485
Absolutely breathtaking.
20
00:01:18,807 --> 00:01:20,763
All right, Lurch, let's have it.
21
00:01:25,007 --> 00:01:25,996
Thank you.
22
00:01:35,967 --> 00:01:37,161
No damage.
23
00:01:40,927 --> 00:01:41,962
Beautiful.
24
00:01:42,247 --> 00:01:43,316
Beautiful!
25
00:01:43,767 --> 00:01:45,962
Querida, let's have a go at the tower.
26
00:01:46,087 --> 00:01:48,521
Now, darling, that's Lurch's room.
27
00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:51,556
Besides, you've had enough fun
for one day.
28
00:01:51,647 --> 00:01:53,080
Lurch can use the playroom.
29
00:01:53,167 --> 00:01:55,556
We can both take turns
with the wrecking ball.
30
00:01:55,647 --> 00:01:58,844
Temperance, temperance.
Too much of a good thing...
31
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,801
Besides, I have all of these bills to get out.
32
00:02:02,447 --> 00:02:03,516
Very well.
33
00:02:03,647 --> 00:02:04,966
Thank you, Lurch.
34
00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:10,046
Well, now. Let's see.
35
00:02:17,247 --> 00:02:18,600
Thank you.
36
00:02:23,967 --> 00:02:27,243
Darling, our phone bill
has been unusually high this month.
37
00:02:27,527 --> 00:02:29,006
Have you been making any calls?
38
00:02:29,087 --> 00:02:31,396
Just to Saudi Arabia on that oil merger.
39
00:02:32,247 --> 00:02:34,477
I dialed four or five times
before I got the right number.
40
00:02:34,567 --> 00:02:36,364
It's a bit expensive.
41
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:37,482
Oil merger?
42
00:02:37,767 --> 00:02:40,998
Abigail Adams and the rest
of those Boston one-D Adamses
43
00:02:41,087 --> 00:02:42,486
are trying to block the deal.
44
00:02:42,767 --> 00:02:44,917
In fact, they're trying to go to court
to have me removed
45
00:02:45,007 --> 00:02:46,918
as executor to the family fortunes.
46
00:02:47,007 --> 00:02:48,725
A financial wizard like you?
47
00:02:49,447 --> 00:02:52,883
Abigail's always fancied herself
as the head of the Addams family.
48
00:02:53,327 --> 00:02:57,161
Besides, she thinks I'm some kind of a nut.
49
00:02:58,687 --> 00:03:00,405
You? Impossible.
50
00:03:01,007 --> 00:03:03,726
She even tried to prove it
in court once before.
51
00:03:03,807 --> 00:03:05,798
Good thing the judge fell asleep.
52
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:09,964
Darling, if dear Abigail is
as smart as she thinks she is,
53
00:03:10,127 --> 00:03:11,685
she'll drop this case.
54
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:16,399
After all, the family fortune
couldn't be in better hands.
55
00:03:17,127 --> 00:03:18,116
Could it?
56
00:03:18,247 --> 00:03:21,398
Never has the family been able
to declare larger tax losses.
57
00:03:23,247 --> 00:03:25,886
There, that proves your financial genius.
58
00:03:28,447 --> 00:03:30,756
Tish, you just parlez vous.
59
00:03:34,207 --> 00:03:35,196
Hey!
60
00:03:35,487 --> 00:03:38,763
Somebody say something about
Abigail Adams dropping the case?
61
00:03:38,847 --> 00:03:41,486
Well, it sure don't look like it.
She's here in town.
62
00:03:41,567 --> 00:03:42,761
- She is?
- Yeah.
63
00:03:43,127 --> 00:03:46,199
"Abigail Quincy Adams
is in town on family business.
64
00:03:46,687 --> 00:03:49,281
"It is assumed
she will mix business with pleasure
65
00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:51,358
"by visiting her grandchildren."
66
00:03:51,447 --> 00:03:53,802
I didn't know she had grandchildren
in this town.
67
00:03:53,887 --> 00:03:55,878
Well, whosever grandmother she is,
68
00:03:55,967 --> 00:03:59,562
thank goodness she's not our little
Pugsley and Wednesday's grandmother.
69
00:03:59,647 --> 00:04:02,002
Actually, she's only a cousin by marriage.
70
00:04:02,287 --> 00:04:05,916
Still, I do think we ought to
pay our respects and invite her over.
71
00:04:06,087 --> 00:04:07,406
Our worst enemy?
72
00:04:07,927 --> 00:04:09,246
I'm gonna faint!
73
00:04:12,087 --> 00:04:13,520
Quick! Water.
74
00:04:16,967 --> 00:04:18,480
Thank you, Thing.
75
00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:27,366
What's the matter with Fester?
76
00:04:27,447 --> 00:04:29,199
He heard Abigail Adams was in town.
77
00:04:29,287 --> 00:04:31,198
I guess the shock was too much for him.
78
00:04:31,287 --> 00:04:32,879
Better try my remedy.
79
00:04:33,287 --> 00:04:35,118
It always ends his spells.
80
00:04:38,007 --> 00:04:39,963
That felt good. Do it again.
81
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:41,836
My turn.
82
00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:45,845
No, no, no, Gomez, darling.
Now, put it down.
83
00:04:46,247 --> 00:04:48,363
I want to find out what this is all about.
84
00:04:48,447 --> 00:04:52,406
Morticia, Gomez just told you.
85
00:04:52,487 --> 00:04:54,239
Abigail is out to get him.
86
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:57,046
- She has been shooting dirty pool.
- She has?
87
00:04:57,447 --> 00:04:59,756
Well, then,
she's not welcome in this house.
88
00:04:59,847 --> 00:05:01,246
Hold it.
89
00:05:01,727 --> 00:05:04,958
That Abigail probably has got spies
all over the place.
90
00:05:05,327 --> 00:05:06,840
We better look around.
91
00:05:07,047 --> 00:05:08,480
Can't be too careful.
92
00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:10,000
The walls have ears.
93
00:05:11,767 --> 00:05:13,200
Interesting thought.
94
00:05:14,927 --> 00:05:17,282
Wednesday's in love,
Wednesday's in love!
95
00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:19,437
Wednesday's in love!
96
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,563
Now, you stop that, Pugsley.
97
00:05:21,647 --> 00:05:23,285
It's not nice to tease your sister, darling.
98
00:05:23,367 --> 00:05:25,676
Besides, she's been taking judo lessons.
99
00:05:28,047 --> 00:05:29,958
- See what I mean?
- Yes, sir.
100
00:05:30,087 --> 00:05:32,726
By the way, has there been
any phone calls for me?
101
00:05:32,807 --> 00:05:34,877
She means Robespierre Courtney.
102
00:05:35,087 --> 00:05:37,396
She's even doing her hair different for him.
103
00:05:37,487 --> 00:05:40,365
Yesterday she got so upset
while waiting for his call
104
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,997
that she let the trains run for 20 minutes
without one crash.
105
00:05:44,447 --> 00:05:45,846
Wednesday, you didn't.
106
00:05:45,927 --> 00:05:47,519
Shocking waste of electricity.
107
00:05:47,607 --> 00:05:51,282
We could have recharged Uncle Fester
10 times with all that power.
108
00:05:51,647 --> 00:05:55,276
I'm sorry, Father,
but you don't measure love with dollars.
109
00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:58,125
That's a woman for you.
110
00:06:00,487 --> 00:06:01,602
That's love.
111
00:06:01,687 --> 00:06:03,439
I'm afraid it's unrequited.
112
00:06:03,527 --> 00:06:05,245
Poor little Wednesday's so upset.
113
00:06:05,327 --> 00:06:08,956
Oh, dear. I'm sorry to hear
that child's so unhappy.
114
00:06:09,207 --> 00:06:12,517
I think I'll just go down to the cellar
and wrestle with the alligator.
115
00:06:12,607 --> 00:06:13,642
Mama...
116
00:06:14,127 --> 00:06:16,687
We can't think
of our own selfish pleasures now.
117
00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:18,439
We must think of Wednesday.
118
00:06:18,527 --> 00:06:19,926
You're right, Morticia.
119
00:06:20,007 --> 00:06:21,998
The alligator can wait.
120
00:06:22,567 --> 00:06:25,684
Now, we must get
Wednesday together with...
121
00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:27,436
Robespierre.
122
00:06:27,807 --> 00:06:30,924
We've just got to get you together
with Wednesday Addams.
123
00:06:31,007 --> 00:06:34,795
But you said you didn't want me
to have anything to do with those kooks.
124
00:06:35,127 --> 00:06:37,800
That was before your mother found out
the little girl was related
125
00:06:37,887 --> 00:06:39,525
to Abigail Quincy Adams.
126
00:06:40,447 --> 00:06:42,961
It just so happens
that Abigail Quincy Adams
127
00:06:43,047 --> 00:06:45,845
is one of the most socially prominent
women in America.
128
00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:48,395
Is that what you meant by riffraff?
129
00:06:49,327 --> 00:06:52,478
Mother was just trying
to have her little joke.
130
00:06:52,767 --> 00:06:55,725
You want Mother
to be the president of her club, don't you?
131
00:06:55,807 --> 00:06:57,763
Why don't you spell it out for the kid?
132
00:06:57,847 --> 00:07:01,476
Your mother wants you to wangle us
an invitation to the Addams family.
133
00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:04,406
Then she can say she had tea
with Abigail Quincy Adams
134
00:07:04,487 --> 00:07:06,523
and we can get our name
in the society column.
135
00:07:06,967 --> 00:07:08,480
You're impossible.
136
00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:10,364
That makes us a perfect pair.
137
00:07:14,007 --> 00:07:14,996
Hello?
138
00:07:15,527 --> 00:07:17,245
Yes, this is Mrs. Courtney.
139
00:07:18,487 --> 00:07:20,079
Morticia Addams?
140
00:07:21,287 --> 00:07:22,276
Tea?
141
00:07:22,847 --> 00:07:25,281
Yes, we'd be delighted.
142
00:07:25,767 --> 00:07:28,361
Oh, of course I'll bring Robespierre.
143
00:07:29,647 --> 00:07:31,922
And how is dear grandmother?
144
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:34,920
Splendid.
145
00:07:35,207 --> 00:07:36,196
Toodle-oo.
146
00:07:37,447 --> 00:07:41,076
We're going to have tea
with the Addams family!
147
00:07:41,167 --> 00:07:42,964
Hurray for our side.
148
00:07:44,647 --> 00:07:46,160
Isn't that nice?
149
00:07:46,247 --> 00:07:48,397
She especially asked about you, Mama.
150
00:07:48,527 --> 00:07:51,121
I always was the popular one in the family.
151
00:07:52,087 --> 00:07:54,965
You know, I do think I'd better
have a talk with Wednesday.
152
00:07:55,047 --> 00:07:56,560
You know, woman to woman.
153
00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,837
I can give her a few helpful hints.
154
00:07:58,927 --> 00:08:03,921
Querida, you are to romance
what Mama is to dignity and charm.
155
00:08:04,327 --> 00:08:05,442
Darling.
156
00:08:09,207 --> 00:08:11,801
Oh, that dress does do things for you.
157
00:08:12,247 --> 00:08:14,203
Black is such a happy color.
158
00:08:14,967 --> 00:08:16,685
Now, remember, my dear,
159
00:08:16,767 --> 00:08:20,555
in all your relationships with boys,
you must be shy and modest.
160
00:08:21,047 --> 00:08:22,162
Yes, Mother.
161
00:08:22,567 --> 00:08:24,797
Poise and good manners
are important, too.
162
00:08:24,887 --> 00:08:27,003
For instance, when Robespierre comes,
163
00:08:27,087 --> 00:08:29,555
I think it would be proper
for you to curtsy.
164
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:32,845
- Curtsy?
- Yes, let's try it.
165
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,641
In this dress?
166
00:08:36,687 --> 00:08:38,120
I see what you mean.
167
00:08:38,807 --> 00:08:40,638
Let's forget about the curtsy.
168
00:08:40,767 --> 00:08:43,520
- Now, what are you going to talk about?
- My spiders.
169
00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,086
That's marvelous.
170
00:08:45,247 --> 00:08:46,965
If the spiders don't get him,
171
00:08:47,047 --> 00:08:49,561
and being shy and modest
doesn't get him,
172
00:08:50,647 --> 00:08:51,966
use the trap.
173
00:08:54,487 --> 00:08:55,522
Good hunting.
174
00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:57,962
Very becoming.
175
00:08:58,767 --> 00:09:00,086
I like the style.
176
00:09:01,287 --> 00:09:04,484
Still, dressing isn't everything
when it comes to pleasing a young man.
177
00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:07,161
A young lady has to know
all the latest steps.
178
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:09,444
So, Thing, if you don't mind...
179
00:09:31,367 --> 00:09:34,165
That's it! By george, I think you've got it!
180
00:09:34,247 --> 00:09:37,239
But, just in case the dance doesn't work,
181
00:09:37,967 --> 00:09:39,286
try this.
182
00:09:43,447 --> 00:09:44,482
Very nice.
183
00:09:44,727 --> 00:09:45,796
Very nice.
184
00:09:46,487 --> 00:09:49,559
But there's just one thing
that boys can't resist.
185
00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:52,077
A nice long face.
186
00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:56,002
Beautiful.
187
00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:58,237
But just in case that doesn't work...
188
00:10:09,847 --> 00:10:10,836
Good.
189
00:10:13,407 --> 00:10:14,396
Good.
190
00:10:14,807 --> 00:10:17,037
But you know what attracts a man most?
191
00:10:17,247 --> 00:10:18,999
- Money?
- No.
192
00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:21,397
Hair, a woman's hair.
193
00:10:21,607 --> 00:10:22,642
See?
194
00:10:23,687 --> 00:10:25,120
And you're my type.
195
00:10:39,887 --> 00:10:40,876
Perfect.
196
00:10:41,047 --> 00:10:43,959
But just in case the hair doesn't work...
197
00:10:47,607 --> 00:10:48,722
What's that?
198
00:10:48,807 --> 00:10:49,842
Love dust.
199
00:10:58,927 --> 00:11:01,964
What advice do you have for me, Lurch?
200
00:11:05,567 --> 00:11:06,795
Oh, I love you.
201
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:24,080
Nothing like a bit of cricket
to while away an hour or two.
202
00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:26,044
Darling, are you sure
this is the way it's played?
203
00:11:26,127 --> 00:11:28,880
Querida, I was the scourge
of the fields of Eton.
204
00:11:29,047 --> 00:11:31,925
I can hit the ball with my eyes shut.
205
00:11:33,207 --> 00:11:34,322
Serve it up.
206
00:11:34,407 --> 00:11:35,442
Yes, dear.
207
00:11:39,527 --> 00:11:41,757
Oh, darling, I'm so sorry.
208
00:11:42,127 --> 00:11:43,355
Nothing at all.
209
00:11:43,487 --> 00:11:44,886
I did make contact.
210
00:11:46,607 --> 00:11:48,086
That must be the Courtneys.
211
00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:50,635
Let Lurch get them. Once more, my dear.
212
00:11:56,807 --> 00:11:58,877
The Courtneys.
213
00:12:02,087 --> 00:12:03,406
Gomez Addams here.
214
00:12:05,047 --> 00:12:06,275
How do you do?
215
00:12:07,847 --> 00:12:10,122
And this is my lovely wife, Morticia.
216
00:12:10,447 --> 00:12:11,675
How do you do?
217
00:12:12,327 --> 00:12:16,240
I guess you folks go in for pop art.
218
00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:18,316
Or something.
219
00:12:19,007 --> 00:12:21,646
So, this is Wednesday's little friend...
220
00:12:22,247 --> 00:12:23,362
Robespierre.
221
00:12:23,487 --> 00:12:25,876
Oh, yes. He certainly looks it.
222
00:12:26,007 --> 00:12:28,475
I'll call Wednesday. Wednesday, darling?
223
00:12:32,087 --> 00:12:34,920
Come along, dear,
and say hello to your little friend.
224
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,042
Wednesday, what was that?
225
00:12:42,127 --> 00:12:43,162
Love dust.
226
00:12:44,207 --> 00:12:46,198
Children today. So precocious.
227
00:12:46,527 --> 00:12:48,836
Would you children like to go out
and play in the cave?
228
00:12:48,927 --> 00:12:49,962
No.
229
00:12:50,047 --> 00:12:51,878
- In the swamp?
- No.
230
00:12:52,047 --> 00:12:53,446
Did you say cave?
231
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:54,876
And swamp?
232
00:12:55,167 --> 00:12:58,284
It's not much, but room enough to romp.
233
00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:01,441
Wednesday, darling,
234
00:13:01,527 --> 00:13:04,439
why don't you and Robespierre
go and play with the trains?
235
00:13:04,527 --> 00:13:06,597
Would you like that, Robespierre?
236
00:13:07,247 --> 00:13:08,919
Well, all right.
237
00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:12,558
Spirited little fellow you have there.
238
00:13:12,647 --> 00:13:13,875
Please, come in.
239
00:13:16,527 --> 00:13:17,846
Please, sit down.
240
00:13:27,927 --> 00:13:30,282
I suppose you'd like to meet
the rest of the family?
241
00:13:30,367 --> 00:13:33,086
After all, a child is a product
of its environment.
242
00:13:33,727 --> 00:13:35,126
Will you excuse us?
243
00:13:42,007 --> 00:13:43,679
Oh, Cousin Itt!
244
00:13:43,887 --> 00:13:45,002
Your cousin?
245
00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:47,125
He's up in the fireplace?
246
00:13:47,207 --> 00:13:48,526
Loves privacy.
247
00:13:49,607 --> 00:13:51,279
Itt, are you there?
248
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:54,680
He's there, all right.
249
00:13:54,847 --> 00:13:56,485
Itt, please, come down.
250
00:13:56,607 --> 00:13:59,201
There are some people here
we want you to meet.
251
00:14:09,687 --> 00:14:12,247
Mr. And Mrs. Courtney,
this is our Cousin Itt.
252
00:14:12,407 --> 00:14:13,442
Cousin what?
253
00:14:13,527 --> 00:14:14,721
Not What, Itt.
254
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,478
He always says the right thing.
255
00:14:21,967 --> 00:14:25,084
Morticia, I can't get this thing
tight enough.
256
00:14:25,767 --> 00:14:27,485
Dear, you're so helpless.
257
00:14:27,727 --> 00:14:30,321
This is the only thing
that cures his headaches.
258
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:40,043
Fester, these are Robespierre's parents.
259
00:14:40,127 --> 00:14:41,116
Oh, hi.
260
00:14:42,327 --> 00:14:43,646
Who's Robespierre?
261
00:14:43,727 --> 00:14:46,161
He's the little tyke
Wednesday's set her cap for.
262
00:14:46,247 --> 00:14:48,283
Oh. When's the wedding?
263
00:14:48,527 --> 00:14:51,325
Now, look, they're just children.
264
00:14:51,927 --> 00:14:54,043
This is just a social call.
265
00:14:54,287 --> 00:14:56,926
We've always admired Abigail Adams.
266
00:14:57,007 --> 00:14:58,360
Abigail!
267
00:15:01,247 --> 00:15:02,282
Excuse us.
268
00:15:05,287 --> 00:15:08,563
Honey, do you know
a good divorce lawyer?
269
00:15:09,727 --> 00:15:12,446
Henry, rich people are all eccentric.
270
00:15:12,527 --> 00:15:14,518
Nobody is that rich.
271
00:15:16,807 --> 00:15:19,082
I know a spy when I see one.
272
00:15:19,607 --> 00:15:21,245
He has the face of THRUSH.
273
00:15:21,327 --> 00:15:23,761
And did you see
all those pens in his pocket?
274
00:15:24,367 --> 00:15:25,356
Microphones.
275
00:15:25,447 --> 00:15:26,641
Are you sure?
276
00:15:27,047 --> 00:15:28,765
Have I ever been wrong?
277
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,206
Now don't answer that.
278
00:15:30,287 --> 00:15:32,243
Now, Itt, you keep an eye out...
279
00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:34,206
Well, you just stand guard.
280
00:15:34,287 --> 00:15:35,686
Come on. Watch.
281
00:15:37,607 --> 00:15:40,519
Look, why don't we just say
hello to Abigail Adams
282
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,040
and get out of here?
283
00:15:43,447 --> 00:15:45,085
What's your hurry?
284
00:15:45,287 --> 00:15:46,276
Hey!
285
00:15:46,447 --> 00:15:48,597
Very interesting pens you have there.
286
00:15:50,567 --> 00:15:51,556
Yeah.
287
00:15:52,047 --> 00:15:55,278
Be more interesting
especially if they had ink in them.
288
00:15:57,567 --> 00:15:59,398
Oh, you... You...
289
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,236
Oh, dear.
290
00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:04,006
Don't worry.
We'll do something about the dress.
291
00:16:04,087 --> 00:16:07,636
But you must admit,
it does look better in a darker shade.
292
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:11,284
Now, go on, then.
Which one has the microphone?
293
00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:12,402
Microphone?
294
00:16:12,487 --> 00:16:15,365
Uncle Fester has an uncanny sense
about these things.
295
00:16:21,527 --> 00:16:22,516
Uncanny?
296
00:16:28,327 --> 00:16:29,442
Excuse us.
297
00:16:32,607 --> 00:16:35,804
Eleanor, I want to be fair about this.
298
00:16:36,007 --> 00:16:38,999
You may have custody of Robespierre.
299
00:16:41,687 --> 00:16:46,238
What if Abigail calls all those witnesses
and gets Gomez back in court again?
300
00:16:46,607 --> 00:16:48,086
Dear, that could be dangerous.
301
00:16:48,167 --> 00:16:50,681
Cara, was Stonewall Addams afraid?
302
00:16:50,887 --> 00:16:52,320
When he led his troops into battle?
303
00:16:52,407 --> 00:16:54,079
When he flunked his physical.
304
00:16:54,167 --> 00:16:55,202
I have it.
305
00:16:55,687 --> 00:16:58,247
I shall win our friends over
with a demonstration
306
00:16:58,327 --> 00:17:00,557
of the Gomez Addams financial wizardry.
307
00:17:00,807 --> 00:17:02,399
Then can I shoot them in the back?
308
00:17:02,487 --> 00:17:04,318
There will be no violence.
309
00:17:04,727 --> 00:17:05,921
Count me out.
310
00:17:06,047 --> 00:17:08,515
Itt, I'll play you a game of solitaire
in the chimney.
311
00:17:08,607 --> 00:17:09,642
Come on.
312
00:17:12,847 --> 00:17:13,882
Come, dear.
313
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:18,279
Querida, maybe we should let Fester
take a shot. He hasn't got very good aim.
314
00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:20,722
Your way is the honorable way.
315
00:17:25,167 --> 00:17:26,919
Courtney, how would you like
to become rich?
316
00:17:27,007 --> 00:17:28,360
We only came here to meet...
317
00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:31,245
Nonsense, Mr. Courtney.
It's really quite painless.
318
00:17:31,407 --> 00:17:32,476
And besides,
319
00:17:32,567 --> 00:17:35,798
it's the least we can do
after ruining Mrs. Courtney's dress.
320
00:17:35,887 --> 00:17:39,118
Old man, you're buying yourself
10,000 shares of Consolidated Lint.
321
00:17:39,207 --> 00:17:40,242
10,000?
322
00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:42,522
Yes, I have a private line to my broker.
323
00:17:42,607 --> 00:17:43,676
- Blooker...
- Now, wait a minute.
324
00:17:43,767 --> 00:17:45,837
I can't afford 10,000 shares of anything.
325
00:17:45,927 --> 00:17:48,999
No problem. We'll just have them
pick up 1,000 for you.
326
00:17:49,167 --> 00:17:51,237
My husband is so understanding.
327
00:17:52,287 --> 00:17:54,005
I'm getting out of this booby trap.
328
00:17:54,087 --> 00:17:55,566
Robespierre!
329
00:17:55,927 --> 00:17:57,645
Blooker, cancel that order.
330
00:17:58,567 --> 00:18:00,637
My, but your husband's a jumpy one.
331
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:01,962
Robespierre.
332
00:18:03,407 --> 00:18:07,605
Oh, Mr. Courtney,
I'm so glad you decided to stay.
333
00:18:08,807 --> 00:18:10,957
Blooker, cancel that cancellation.
334
00:18:11,047 --> 00:18:13,800
Lurch, put Mr. Courtney in the good chair.
335
00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:28,560
Blooker, buy 1,000 shares
of Consolidated Lint
336
00:18:28,647 --> 00:18:30,399
and charge it to Henry Courtney.
337
00:18:30,487 --> 00:18:33,240
C-O-U-R-T-N-E-Y. Courtney.
338
00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:35,961
Well, I'll give you
all the details in the morning.
339
00:18:36,047 --> 00:18:37,196
Yes, I'll hold on.
340
00:18:37,287 --> 00:18:38,322
Please...
341
00:18:38,807 --> 00:18:40,798
At 86, eh? Good work, Blooker.
342
00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:43,442
Congratulations, old man,
you're on the road to success.
343
00:18:43,527 --> 00:18:46,439
I don't want 1,000 shares
of Consolidated Lint.
344
00:18:46,567 --> 00:18:48,762
Now, now, Mr. Courtney. A deal's a deal.
345
00:18:48,847 --> 00:18:50,644
Let's see how you're doing.
346
00:18:55,447 --> 00:18:58,325
Just as I thought.
Consolidated Lint, 86 and a half.
347
00:18:59,567 --> 00:19:00,556
87.
348
00:19:01,527 --> 00:19:03,085
87 and three-quarters.
349
00:19:03,287 --> 00:19:04,800
- 82.
- 82?
350
00:19:04,887 --> 00:19:05,876
72.
351
00:19:06,487 --> 00:19:07,602
Isn't this exciting?
352
00:19:07,687 --> 00:19:08,836
64 and an eighth.
353
00:19:08,927 --> 00:19:10,406
Sell, please sell. Sell.
354
00:19:10,487 --> 00:19:12,079
Too late. 62 and an eighth.
355
00:19:13,087 --> 00:19:14,486
Excuse me, please.
356
00:19:16,087 --> 00:19:17,076
Darling.
357
00:19:19,207 --> 00:19:22,165
I'm not too sure, but I don't think
Mr. Courtney is very happy
358
00:19:22,247 --> 00:19:23,396
in Consolidated Lint.
359
00:19:23,487 --> 00:19:24,966
Well, we can certainly take care of that.
360
00:19:25,047 --> 00:19:27,117
I'll swing him into National Dust.
361
00:19:27,887 --> 00:19:30,447
Blooker, sell Courtney's
Consolidated Lint.
362
00:19:30,887 --> 00:19:33,526
And pick up 1,000 shares of National Dust.
363
00:19:34,087 --> 00:19:36,157
Please, you can thank me
some other time.
364
00:19:36,247 --> 00:19:38,522
1,000 National Dust at 75?
365
00:19:38,647 --> 00:19:41,115
- Good show, Blooker.
- Hurry, darling.
366
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,842
Let's see what it's doing.
367
00:19:44,927 --> 00:19:45,996
Did it go up?
368
00:19:46,087 --> 00:19:48,157
By george, it's up eight and a half points.
369
00:19:48,247 --> 00:19:49,885
- National Dust?
- Consolidated Lint.
370
00:19:49,967 --> 00:19:51,366
- Back to 70.
- What about National Dust?
371
00:19:51,447 --> 00:19:52,436
Down three.
372
00:19:52,527 --> 00:19:54,677
Bad business,
shifting horses in mid-stream.
373
00:19:54,767 --> 00:19:57,645
I'm sure dear Abigail knows that
as well as anyone.
374
00:19:57,807 --> 00:19:59,957
Consolidated Lint. Up to 75.
375
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,319
- Up to 80.
- And National Dust?
376
00:20:02,407 --> 00:20:03,965
Holding steadily at 54.
377
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:05,436
It pays to buy the better stock.
378
00:20:05,527 --> 00:20:06,642
But it's not paying me.
379
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:09,878
If you make me stick to this deal,
I'll be broke, bankrupt, penniless.
380
00:20:09,967 --> 00:20:11,161
Nonsense, old man.
381
00:20:11,247 --> 00:20:13,078
If you're a bit short,
I'll take the deal off your hands.
382
00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:14,646
- Oh, thank you.
- You're all even again.
383
00:20:14,727 --> 00:20:16,285
- Thank you.
- Ever make a better deal than that?
384
00:20:16,367 --> 00:20:18,085
Oh, no, never. Never.
Thank you, Mr. Addams.
385
00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:19,236
Easy come, easy go.
386
00:20:19,327 --> 00:20:21,887
And now if we could just meet
old Mrs. Adams.
387
00:20:22,047 --> 00:20:24,766
As soon as she's finished
wrestling the alligator.
388
00:20:24,847 --> 00:20:26,439
Wrestling the alligator?
389
00:20:27,207 --> 00:20:28,720
Ah, here she is.
390
00:20:29,247 --> 00:20:30,236
Well,
391
00:20:30,327 --> 00:20:32,966
I finally beat that darn alligator.
392
00:20:34,087 --> 00:20:37,079
Dear, Mr. And Mrs. Courtney
have been dying to meet you.
393
00:20:37,687 --> 00:20:40,918
She certainly photographs differently.
394
00:20:41,647 --> 00:20:44,161
Do you really wrestle alligators?
395
00:20:44,287 --> 00:20:47,324
Oh, just once in a while.
She actually prefers kangaroos.
396
00:20:47,807 --> 00:20:50,082
This is Abigail Quincy Adams?
397
00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:51,361
Certainly not.
398
00:20:51,807 --> 00:20:54,162
I wouldn't have that woman in this house.
399
00:20:56,847 --> 00:20:58,838
Robespierre!
400
00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:00,281
I'll have Lurch get your hat.
401
00:21:00,367 --> 00:21:02,244
Oh, please get my hat.
402
00:21:06,487 --> 00:21:07,840
The bell's out of order.
403
00:21:07,927 --> 00:21:09,519
Well, think nothing of it.
404
00:21:16,967 --> 00:21:18,719
You rang?
405
00:21:18,807 --> 00:21:20,798
The gentleman's hat, please, Lurch.
406
00:21:24,967 --> 00:21:26,241
Robespierre!
407
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,515
Did you call me, Mother?
408
00:21:29,607 --> 00:21:31,484
What have they done to you?
409
00:21:31,567 --> 00:21:33,637
First she made me blow up the train,
410
00:21:33,727 --> 00:21:36,036
and then she wanted
to put me in the guillotine
411
00:21:36,127 --> 00:21:38,243
just because my name is Robespierre.
412
00:21:41,647 --> 00:21:44,366
My husband is going to write
a letter to the papers about this.
413
00:21:44,447 --> 00:21:46,483
How can I? All my pens are broken.
414
00:21:46,567 --> 00:21:48,364
Let's get out of here.
415
00:21:50,807 --> 00:21:52,445
What's the matter with them?
416
00:21:52,527 --> 00:21:53,596
Soreheads.
417
00:21:54,127 --> 00:21:56,721
Oh, poor Wednesday's
going to be broken-hearted.
418
00:21:59,087 --> 00:22:00,679
Where's Robespierre?
419
00:22:01,807 --> 00:22:05,436
Well, darling, I'm afraid you're going to
have to forget about Robespierre.
420
00:22:05,527 --> 00:22:07,677
Forget? I've already forgotten.
421
00:22:07,767 --> 00:22:10,156
He wouldn't even play
with Pugsley's octopus.
422
00:22:11,487 --> 00:22:13,557
That just proves it. He's not our type.
423
00:22:13,647 --> 00:22:14,762
Poor boy.
424
00:22:15,247 --> 00:22:17,283
But as you yourself say, darling,
425
00:22:17,487 --> 00:22:20,160
children are products
of their environment.
426
00:22:30,487 --> 00:22:31,522
Morticia!
427
00:22:31,807 --> 00:22:32,876
You called?
428
00:22:34,607 --> 00:22:35,835
Pugsley and I are ready.
429
00:22:35,927 --> 00:22:37,121
Ah, good.
430
00:22:37,367 --> 00:22:39,244
You're so thorough, Gomez.
431
00:22:39,727 --> 00:22:42,400
So efficient, so precise.
432
00:22:42,847 --> 00:22:45,156
You know me so well, querida.
433
00:22:45,527 --> 00:22:48,564
Giving our congressman
two ways to beautify America.
434
00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:53,006
I like the swinging ball,
but this may do the job better and faster.
435
00:22:53,367 --> 00:22:55,483
- You ready, Pugsley?
- Ready, sir.
436
00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:02,123
To improve the American landscape.
437
00:23:08,927 --> 00:23:10,326
Back to nature.
438
00:23:10,727 --> 00:23:13,685
Beautiful, Gomez. Beautiful!
439
00:23:21,087 --> 00:23:22,918
I'll have to speak to that newsboy.
440
00:23:23,007 --> 00:23:26,522
I've told him we wanted the paper
delivered through the back window.
441
00:23:27,447 --> 00:23:29,324
Cara mia, look.
442
00:23:32,407 --> 00:23:34,796
"Abigail Adams returning to Boston.
443
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:39,240
"Drops plans for fight over
Addams Family fortune control."
444
00:23:39,327 --> 00:23:41,283
Now, isn't that nice?
445
00:23:41,527 --> 00:23:44,121
The Courtneys
must have given us a good report.