1 00:00:16,927 --> 00:00:18,883 They're creepy and they're kooky 2 00:00:18,967 --> 00:00:20,798 Mysterious and spooky 3 00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:22,718 They're altogether ooky 4 00:00:22,807 --> 00:00:24,684 The Addams family 5 00:00:24,767 --> 00:00:26,519 The house is a museum 6 00:00:26,607 --> 00:00:28,518 When people come to see 'em 7 00:00:28,607 --> 00:00:30,359 They really are a scream 8 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,039 The Addams family 9 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,356 Neat. 10 00:00:35,047 --> 00:00:36,036 Sweet. 11 00:00:38,847 --> 00:00:39,836 Petite. 12 00:00:39,927 --> 00:00:41,804 So get a witch's shawl on 13 00:00:41,887 --> 00:00:43,684 A broomstick you can crawl on 14 00:00:43,767 --> 00:00:45,564 We're gonna pay a call on 15 00:00:45,647 --> 00:00:48,241 The Addams family 16 00:01:03,287 --> 00:01:05,198 Concentrate. 17 00:01:06,007 --> 00:01:08,077 Concentrate. 18 00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:11,035 Are you concentrating? 19 00:01:11,127 --> 00:01:13,083 Assiduously, my dear. 20 00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:18,037 Gomez, if you can hear me, you are not concentrating. 21 00:01:18,127 --> 00:01:19,116 Oh, sorry. 22 00:01:20,487 --> 00:01:23,047 I suppose Madame Curie had days like this, too. 23 00:01:25,527 --> 00:01:26,516 Let's get on with it. 24 00:01:30,167 --> 00:01:31,998 Get your notebook, Uncle Fester. 25 00:01:33,447 --> 00:01:34,846 Goody! 26 00:01:35,807 --> 00:01:36,796 Ready. 27 00:01:37,687 --> 00:01:39,678 At exactly 10:28, 28 00:01:44,087 --> 00:01:46,681 subject's body stiff as a board. 29 00:01:46,767 --> 00:01:48,678 Subject stiff as a board. 30 00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:51,522 Indicating complete mental control. 31 00:01:51,607 --> 00:01:52,596 Control. 32 00:01:53,007 --> 00:01:54,759 10:28 and a half. 33 00:01:55,647 --> 00:01:58,559 Entered final phase of Addams experiment 34 00:01:58,647 --> 00:02:02,640 to prove that the human mind can triumph over the law of gravity. 35 00:02:02,727 --> 00:02:03,762 Gravity. 36 00:02:04,247 --> 00:02:05,316 Positions, please. 37 00:02:09,447 --> 00:02:11,438 Now remember, we must pull together. 38 00:02:11,687 --> 00:02:12,836 Watch for the signal. 39 00:02:13,847 --> 00:02:14,836 Now! 40 00:02:22,927 --> 00:02:24,326 That gravity's a tough one. 41 00:02:25,367 --> 00:02:28,279 Darling, are you positive you were concentrating? 42 00:02:29,447 --> 00:02:30,436 Certainly. 43 00:02:31,807 --> 00:02:32,796 Did it work? 44 00:02:32,927 --> 00:02:36,237 Not quite. You were doing fine until you hit the floor. 45 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:39,439 Hey, that's easy. We could just lower the floor. 46 00:02:40,007 --> 00:02:41,963 I think Fester's got something there. 47 00:02:43,207 --> 00:02:44,196 Mail's in. 48 00:02:49,047 --> 00:02:50,196 Thank you, Thing. 49 00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:53,842 Oh, it's for you, darling. I wonder what that is? 50 00:02:53,927 --> 00:02:58,000 My new mark seven, custom-built, grand prix croquet mallet. 51 00:02:58,607 --> 00:03:00,199 I stole it for $200. 52 00:03:01,927 --> 00:03:03,076 Thank you, Thing. 53 00:03:04,247 --> 00:03:06,715 Occupant. Occupant. 54 00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:09,642 Occupant. Occupant. 55 00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:11,839 So nice to be remembered. 56 00:03:13,967 --> 00:03:16,481 Oh, Uncle Fester. Here's one for you, dear. 57 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,320 It's from her. 58 00:03:22,287 --> 00:03:23,800 Diana Delf. 59 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,600 Uncle Fester, what's come over you? 60 00:03:32,047 --> 00:03:36,598 She sent it to me, personally. I've been writing to her for months. 61 00:03:36,687 --> 00:03:40,282 Ever since I saw her in the show. 62 00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:43,677 Just a moment, you'd better let me do it. You'll tear it. 63 00:03:47,287 --> 00:03:50,359 - Oh, it's a picture! - Oh, me first. 64 00:03:53,607 --> 00:03:55,916 It's her! It's her! 65 00:03:56,127 --> 00:03:58,516 Let me see, Uncle Fester, let me see. 66 00:04:03,927 --> 00:04:05,838 Oh, by george, she's a dazzler. 67 00:04:06,367 --> 00:04:09,882 Boy, I gotta get right upstairs and write her an answer. 68 00:04:10,007 --> 00:04:11,156 Oh, my Diana! 69 00:04:13,207 --> 00:04:15,880 He's Addams all the way. Can't resist a pretty face. 70 00:04:20,807 --> 00:04:24,356 Now, if you'll observe, my dear, croquet is a combination of two things. 71 00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:30,804 Balance, timing, peripheral vision, superb coordination and a killer's instinct. 72 00:04:32,287 --> 00:04:34,403 - Your shot, my dear. - Oh. 73 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,883 Gomez, I'm worried. 74 00:04:49,607 --> 00:04:51,757 Querida, you've forgotten everything I've taught you. 75 00:04:52,327 --> 00:04:53,316 Sorry, darling. 76 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,043 Congratulate me, everybody. 77 00:04:57,127 --> 00:05:01,439 Congratulations! That is wonderful. What happened? 78 00:05:01,527 --> 00:05:03,518 I'm gonna get married. 79 00:05:04,207 --> 00:05:07,916 I just proposed to the sweetest little girl in the entire world. 80 00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:11,886 Oh, well, that's very sweet, Uncle Fester. But can you support a wife? 81 00:05:11,967 --> 00:05:15,721 Oh, details, details. Gomez, can you see your way clear 82 00:05:15,807 --> 00:05:17,957 to advance me a nickel for a postage stamp? 83 00:05:18,047 --> 00:05:19,400 No, but I can give you a check. 84 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:23,241 Oh, well, while you're making it out, make it for, say, even 10,000. 85 00:05:24,047 --> 00:05:26,117 - For stamps? - Well, no, you know, 86 00:05:26,207 --> 00:05:30,280 incidentals like the minister, the marriage license, rice, 87 00:05:30,367 --> 00:05:32,597 - attorney. - Attorney? 88 00:05:32,687 --> 00:05:35,076 - I may get divorced. - Divorced? 89 00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:38,842 You know, be prepared. I remember that from when I was a scout. 90 00:05:47,687 --> 00:05:50,599 There must be something wrong with this carpet. 91 00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:53,316 Well, where's the checkbook? 92 00:05:53,407 --> 00:05:55,637 - Oh, I'll get it. - Uncle Fester, just a moment. 93 00:05:56,047 --> 00:05:57,560 You've never even met this girl. 94 00:05:58,007 --> 00:06:01,079 You run a great risk of ruining your life and hers, as well. 95 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:02,522 Good thinking, my dear. 96 00:06:04,047 --> 00:06:05,480 Then I don't get the check? 97 00:06:06,247 --> 00:06:07,236 Maybe next time. 98 00:06:07,887 --> 00:06:10,321 Oh, okay. I'll send it COD. 99 00:06:15,087 --> 00:06:17,157 Oh, Gomez, it's breaking my heart. 100 00:06:17,247 --> 00:06:19,477 Mine, too. This mallet isn't worth a plugged nickel. 101 00:06:20,687 --> 00:06:24,236 Darling, I was referring to Uncle Fester and that girl. 102 00:06:24,327 --> 00:06:29,082 Oh. Oh, yes. Well, I suppose her parents must be as upset as we are. 103 00:06:29,167 --> 00:06:32,204 - I'm sure they would be, if they were here. - But they're not. 104 00:06:34,807 --> 00:06:38,686 But they could be. At least, her mother could be. 105 00:06:38,807 --> 00:06:40,479 And she doesn't even have to make the trip. 106 00:06:41,967 --> 00:06:45,482 Querida, I do believe you're up to some mischief. 107 00:06:46,887 --> 00:06:47,876 Yes. 108 00:06:49,567 --> 00:06:51,797 What do you think? Do you think I'll fool Uncle Fester? 109 00:06:52,447 --> 00:06:54,802 - You can fool me. - Oh, mon cher. 110 00:06:55,247 --> 00:06:56,726 But not when you speak French. 111 00:06:57,687 --> 00:07:00,645 Darling, please, my make-up. 112 00:07:01,327 --> 00:07:02,316 Yes, make-up. 113 00:07:08,367 --> 00:07:09,880 Nothing wrong with that mallet. 114 00:07:12,487 --> 00:07:14,762 Diana's mama. 115 00:07:17,887 --> 00:07:23,917 Mother! Just looking at you makes me feel like I've known you for a long time. 116 00:07:25,327 --> 00:07:26,316 Too long. 117 00:07:27,767 --> 00:07:31,043 Say, where's what's her name, your daughter? 118 00:07:31,127 --> 00:07:34,915 Just a minute. I've got a few questions to ask you. 119 00:07:35,287 --> 00:07:36,276 Sit down. 120 00:07:37,407 --> 00:07:39,398 How much money have you got? 121 00:07:40,207 --> 00:07:43,005 Well, that's hard to say. 122 00:07:44,207 --> 00:07:45,401 What's your salary? 123 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,644 That's hard to say, too. 124 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:52,196 I'll give you something easy to say. 125 00:07:53,367 --> 00:07:54,436 What do you do? 126 00:07:58,367 --> 00:07:59,402 I hang around. 127 00:08:00,487 --> 00:08:05,481 I help my nephew play with the trains and I shoot off the cannon. 128 00:08:06,127 --> 00:08:08,595 And I clean out the alligator's nest. 129 00:08:09,847 --> 00:08:13,442 I sit in my tree, you know. 130 00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:15,196 I know. 131 00:08:16,047 --> 00:08:18,356 You're one of those stage-door johnnies. 132 00:08:20,847 --> 00:08:23,236 Mother, you're acting very suspicious. 133 00:08:23,567 --> 00:08:26,286 I got a little suspicious 134 00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:31,964 when I had to pay five cents postage due on your proposal to my daughter. 135 00:08:32,047 --> 00:08:33,196 You owe me a nickel. 136 00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:36,126 You need it all at once? 137 00:08:36,527 --> 00:08:37,755 For what? 138 00:08:38,087 --> 00:08:39,964 'Cause I'm kind of strapped right now. 139 00:08:40,047 --> 00:08:44,837 Forget it! Just forget the whole thing. And forget my daughter, too. 140 00:08:44,927 --> 00:08:47,725 She's gonna marry a man that can support her. 141 00:08:47,847 --> 00:08:48,836 All right! 142 00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:54,760 All right, if that's what it takes. I'll get her, you'll see. 143 00:08:55,047 --> 00:08:56,685 I'll be a big success. 144 00:08:56,767 --> 00:08:59,998 I'll throw gold and diamonds right at your daughter's feet. 145 00:09:01,127 --> 00:09:04,483 I warn you, she's got very big feet. 146 00:09:06,127 --> 00:09:10,439 "Prospectors, send $1 for guaranteed treasure map. 147 00:09:12,527 --> 00:09:14,563 "Raise mink in your own home." 148 00:09:15,887 --> 00:09:17,639 No, that's no good. 149 00:09:18,247 --> 00:09:21,125 "We can release the hidden power within you. 150 00:09:21,887 --> 00:09:25,641 "Let us set your feet on the road to fame and fortune. 151 00:09:25,847 --> 00:09:30,159 "Complete correspondence course from the Greer Business College." 152 00:09:30,687 --> 00:09:31,676 That's it! 153 00:09:34,567 --> 00:09:36,683 Sweetheart, you'll be proud of me yet. 154 00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:39,565 I'll throw diamonds and rubies at your big feet. 155 00:09:43,807 --> 00:09:46,401 Now that you've completed your entire course, 156 00:09:46,487 --> 00:09:48,717 you may consider yourself a graduate 157 00:09:48,807 --> 00:09:51,879 of the Greer Business College of Correspondence. 158 00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:54,401 A few weeks ago, you entered this institution 159 00:09:54,487 --> 00:09:58,002 a slack- jawed, glassy-eyed jellyfish. 160 00:09:58,367 --> 00:10:02,883 But today, by following our teaching, you have unlocked your potential, 161 00:10:02,967 --> 00:10:07,643 transformed yourself into dynamic, hard-hitting executive material. 162 00:10:07,887 --> 00:10:11,197 You've already chosen your first target. Hit it hard. 163 00:10:17,407 --> 00:10:20,285 Now, the world is your oyster. 164 00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:22,278 Goody! I like oysters. 165 00:10:22,367 --> 00:10:24,597 You have a date with destiny. 166 00:10:36,567 --> 00:10:37,602 Fester... 167 00:10:37,687 --> 00:10:41,646 Gomez, this is the most beautiful moment of my whole life. 168 00:10:41,727 --> 00:10:44,241 I can't wait for my first class reunion. 169 00:10:44,327 --> 00:10:47,717 Now, Fester, this job nonsense has gone far enough. 170 00:10:47,807 --> 00:10:53,564 Oh, careful there, Gomez. You're talking to a dynamic, hard-hitting executive. 171 00:10:58,207 --> 00:11:01,995 - Really, Fester... - Sir to you. And look at you. 172 00:11:02,087 --> 00:11:04,920 Just look at yourself. Take inventory. 173 00:11:05,927 --> 00:11:10,523 That ridiculous suit. Those preposterous high-button shoes. 174 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:16,405 No class. No style. No appeal. Things that I have always had. 175 00:11:16,647 --> 00:11:17,875 Really, Fester, I... 176 00:11:17,967 --> 00:11:21,516 Now, look, I'll do the thinking around here and do you know why? 177 00:11:21,607 --> 00:11:26,237 Because I used to be a slack-jawed, glassy-eyed jellyfish, just like you. 178 00:11:26,327 --> 00:11:30,161 But I unlocked my potential. I became a new man. 179 00:11:31,847 --> 00:11:34,156 Hey, Gomez, I may even change my name. 180 00:11:34,767 --> 00:11:37,804 - Fester, what... - I'm sorry, I'm very busy. 181 00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:40,596 Busy doing what? 182 00:11:42,087 --> 00:11:44,442 Well, I'll think of something. Good day, sir. 183 00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:55,444 - Well? - It's worse than we thought. 184 00:11:55,527 --> 00:11:58,246 - What did he say? - He said my shoes were preposterous. 185 00:11:58,327 --> 00:11:59,680 Well, they do need polishing. 186 00:12:02,007 --> 00:12:04,805 That I was a glassy-eyed, slacked-jawed jellyfish. 187 00:12:05,167 --> 00:12:07,920 I better think up an answer to that. I hear it fairly often. 188 00:12:08,407 --> 00:12:11,558 That's nonsense. I'm going to demand an apology. 189 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:12,716 There you are. 190 00:12:15,727 --> 00:12:19,276 Uncle Fester, I think you and I had better have a talk. 191 00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:23,280 Oh, sorry, a big day. First stop, Thaddeus P. Logan. 192 00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,278 Big business tycoon. 193 00:12:25,367 --> 00:12:28,757 - Do you have an appointment with him? - No, but I think I can sandwich him in. 194 00:12:30,767 --> 00:12:34,726 Uncle Fester, wouldn't you rather sit up in your tree house? 195 00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:38,119 - My tree house. - It's more you. 196 00:12:38,847 --> 00:12:39,836 That's true. 197 00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:44,317 But I owe it to my beautiful Diana to be a big wheel. 198 00:12:44,407 --> 00:12:46,716 And I am. It said so on the record. 199 00:12:48,607 --> 00:12:53,123 Uncle Fester, how would you like a nice new cannon? 200 00:12:54,127 --> 00:12:57,324 - A new cannon? - Come with me. 201 00:12:59,927 --> 00:13:02,316 Right over here. 202 00:13:04,127 --> 00:13:05,879 Tish, that's French. 203 00:13:07,847 --> 00:13:11,078 Darling, please. Let's concentrate on Uncle Fester's problem. 204 00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:15,682 Oh, yes. Yes, Uncle Fester's problem. 205 00:13:15,927 --> 00:13:16,996 But I'm next. 206 00:13:17,567 --> 00:13:21,162 Fester, give up all this big business nonsense 207 00:13:21,247 --> 00:13:22,760 and the cannon is yours. 208 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,526 You make it very difficult for me, Gomez. 209 00:13:27,047 --> 00:13:28,116 I love Diana. 210 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:31,565 I dream of running barefoot through her beard. 211 00:13:33,087 --> 00:13:36,204 Fester, you mean you'd give all this up for a woman? 212 00:13:36,287 --> 00:13:37,925 That's kid's stuff. 213 00:13:40,647 --> 00:13:42,160 You rang? 214 00:13:42,487 --> 00:13:45,160 No, but, Lurch, you can get the car out. 215 00:13:45,447 --> 00:13:48,245 I have a date with a very important oyster. 216 00:14:03,287 --> 00:14:07,883 Well, I tell you, J.D., I'll let you have the whole 20,000 shares at $50 a share. 217 00:14:09,127 --> 00:14:10,321 You'll pay $25? 218 00:14:10,927 --> 00:14:13,043 What are you trying to do, J.D., ruin me? 219 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:17,040 Those shares are worth 50 if they're worth a penny. 220 00:14:17,127 --> 00:14:19,561 It's 50 or nothing. 221 00:14:20,847 --> 00:14:23,725 - What the... - Play it cool, he'll call back. 222 00:14:23,807 --> 00:14:25,126 Who the devil are you? 223 00:14:25,207 --> 00:14:29,325 Let's face it, J.D., you need a man like me. I'm magnetic. 224 00:14:31,127 --> 00:14:32,196 I'm hard-hitting! 225 00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:36,396 Hello. 226 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,156 J. D? 227 00:14:39,607 --> 00:14:40,722 You will pay 50? 228 00:14:42,167 --> 00:14:43,236 It's a deal. 229 00:14:45,327 --> 00:14:46,316 Will you have a cigar? 230 00:14:47,047 --> 00:14:48,480 Thank you, sir. 231 00:14:57,567 --> 00:15:00,320 Well, good evening, Morticia, Gomez. 232 00:15:00,527 --> 00:15:01,960 Uncle Fester, dear. 233 00:15:02,807 --> 00:15:05,196 - Boy, am I bushed. - Now, look, Fester... 234 00:15:05,327 --> 00:15:07,397 Sorry, I'm busy. 235 00:15:08,327 --> 00:15:11,125 Working on a $15 million deal. 236 00:15:11,567 --> 00:15:14,764 You better make that $20 million. I hate odd numbers. 237 00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:22,921 - $20 million. The poor dear's sick. - We'd better get a psychiatrist. 238 00:15:23,407 --> 00:15:25,238 I'll look up one in the classified. 239 00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,922 Maybe he can explain this, too. 240 00:15:32,007 --> 00:15:37,161 Now, look, Logan. You may be the boss, but if you want to talk to me 241 00:15:37,247 --> 00:15:38,885 you will have to come over here. 242 00:15:38,967 --> 00:15:42,437 - All right, all right. I'll come over there. - Now that's better. 243 00:15:43,487 --> 00:15:47,400 Now, let me see, where was I? Oh, yes. 244 00:15:49,287 --> 00:15:51,278 You rang? 245 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:54,803 Lurch, I'm in the midst of a big institutional deal 246 00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:59,165 and I misplaced a telephone number. It was on the back of a laundry ticket. 247 00:16:01,887 --> 00:16:03,923 Oh, you didn't see it, huh? 248 00:16:04,727 --> 00:16:07,287 I think I remember it. Let's see. 249 00:16:08,247 --> 00:16:10,522 Five, five. 250 00:16:11,567 --> 00:16:13,956 Five, five. 251 00:16:14,047 --> 00:16:16,322 Five, five, five. 252 00:16:19,407 --> 00:16:23,446 Hello? Hello! What? I don't like that merger deal. 253 00:16:24,047 --> 00:16:26,607 You don't like it? Who asked you? 254 00:16:27,407 --> 00:16:30,797 Nobody asked me, I'm telling you, smart guy. 255 00:16:31,447 --> 00:16:34,996 Oh, so now I'm a smart guy, huh? Well, you listen... 256 00:16:35,087 --> 00:16:37,521 No, you listen. The deal's off! 257 00:16:37,687 --> 00:16:39,996 Oh, yeah? Well, you can say that again! 258 00:16:42,687 --> 00:16:45,042 You can't let these fellows push you around. 259 00:16:49,207 --> 00:16:55,396 Cybernetics, Cyclops, psychiatrist. Thank you, Thing. 260 00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:58,077 Here's one. "Dr. Brown. 261 00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:01,440 "Psychiatric service, 24 hours a day. 262 00:17:01,847 --> 00:17:04,407 "House calls and all credit cards honored." 263 00:17:04,487 --> 00:17:05,840 Sounds like our man. 264 00:17:08,687 --> 00:17:11,201 Dr. Brown speaking. Yes? 265 00:17:11,607 --> 00:17:16,237 It all started when Uncle Fester fell in love with this girl with a stunning blond beard. 266 00:17:16,807 --> 00:17:20,163 Blond beard? A real blond beard? 267 00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:22,715 Well, personally, I'm sure she touches it up a little. 268 00:17:22,807 --> 00:17:26,243 And when we wouldn't give him a postage stamp, he went to pieces. 269 00:17:27,407 --> 00:17:29,841 Your Uncle Fester sounds at loose ends. 270 00:17:29,927 --> 00:17:32,725 Oh, he's very loose, and he needs help immediately. 271 00:17:33,327 --> 00:17:36,763 When I come to call, he shouldn't know that I'm a psychiatrist. 272 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:40,123 It'll be best if you don't call me doctor. I'll use some other name. 273 00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:41,635 Is that agreeable? 274 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:46,517 Perfectly. We'll be waiting for you, Doc... Sir. Goodbye. 275 00:17:49,767 --> 00:17:50,756 A real beard? 276 00:17:51,447 --> 00:17:53,005 Thank you, Thing. 277 00:17:53,687 --> 00:17:57,600 Darling, the psychiatrist insists that we not call him doctor 278 00:17:57,687 --> 00:17:59,200 for fear of upsetting Uncle Fester. 279 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:01,517 Good idea. We'll tell Fester he's the plumber. 280 00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:09,838 - Sir. - I'm Gomez Addams, Fester's nephew. 281 00:18:09,927 --> 00:18:12,395 - Well, I'm Mr. Logan. Thaddeus Logan. - Logan, huh? 282 00:18:12,487 --> 00:18:14,443 Well, that's as good a name as any. 283 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:17,883 Come right in, Mr. Logan. We've been expecting you. 284 00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:34,125 Querida, this is Mr. Logan. 285 00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:38,919 Mr. Logan, this is my lovely wife, Morticia. 286 00:18:39,727 --> 00:18:43,117 Oh, Mr. Logan. How do you do? 287 00:18:46,487 --> 00:18:51,436 - Fester lives here? - Oh, yes. Won't you please sit down? 288 00:18:51,527 --> 00:18:54,360 There are a few things we think you ought to know about Uncle Fester. 289 00:18:54,447 --> 00:18:57,644 Oh? Well, I know all I need to know. 290 00:18:57,727 --> 00:19:01,197 By thunder, I admire your confidence. Lightning quick. 291 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:06,005 Yes, it eases my mind to know that you'll be with him in his time of trouble. 292 00:19:06,207 --> 00:19:08,926 Oh, well, I don't anticipate any trouble. 293 00:19:09,047 --> 00:19:11,356 No, I got all the papers right here, ready to sign. 294 00:19:11,447 --> 00:19:14,962 Oh, we'll have those institutions eating out of our hand. 295 00:19:15,047 --> 00:19:19,040 Institution? Oh, no, we couldn't send him to an institution. 296 00:19:19,127 --> 00:19:21,960 No need, sir, he's an Addams, and we look after our own. 297 00:19:22,647 --> 00:19:25,115 Besides, the poor dear isn't violent. 298 00:19:25,447 --> 00:19:26,596 What are you talking about? 299 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:30,040 I think you should know what made Uncle Fester crack up. 300 00:19:30,367 --> 00:19:32,676 Fester? Crack up? 301 00:19:32,767 --> 00:19:34,200 Completely off his trolley. 302 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:38,395 Keeps talking about big business deals and mergers 303 00:19:38,727 --> 00:19:41,560 and that once fine mind has been reduced to a shambles. 304 00:19:42,087 --> 00:19:47,400 Oh, well, I know what you mean. Yeah, I often feel like I'm cracking up. 305 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:48,476 You look it. 306 00:19:49,847 --> 00:19:55,240 But if what you say is true... Why, it's ghastly. 307 00:19:55,607 --> 00:19:57,757 - Ghastly. - Ghastly. 308 00:20:07,727 --> 00:20:09,240 Now I get it. 309 00:20:09,327 --> 00:20:13,206 You, in these funny shoes and that preposterous suit. 310 00:20:14,407 --> 00:20:16,921 This is all a gag, isn't it? Yeah. 311 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,679 Fester put you up to this, didn't he? 312 00:20:23,647 --> 00:20:24,636 Very amusing. 313 00:20:25,047 --> 00:20:27,163 I think the doctor could use some help himself. 314 00:20:27,767 --> 00:20:29,325 I guess he finally has cracked up. 315 00:20:33,247 --> 00:20:34,839 What is this all about? 316 00:20:34,927 --> 00:20:38,920 Oh, the children persuaded me to light up and ride my cycle around. 317 00:20:39,007 --> 00:20:40,201 Just for old times' sake. 318 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:43,121 We love to watch him ride his motorcycle in the house. 319 00:20:43,207 --> 00:20:45,437 And wrestle the alligator. 320 00:20:45,527 --> 00:20:48,121 Wrestle the alligator? A live alligator? 321 00:20:48,287 --> 00:20:50,039 Not very sporting, wrestling a dead one. 322 00:20:51,047 --> 00:20:54,357 And I can beat Thing at Indian wrestling, too. 323 00:20:54,767 --> 00:20:57,201 Thing? Who is Thing? 324 00:20:58,087 --> 00:21:01,045 Thing? Come up and say hello to Mr. Logan. 325 00:21:08,007 --> 00:21:10,646 Oh, no. I've got to get out of here. 326 00:21:12,007 --> 00:21:14,885 Hey, just a minute. Come back here! 327 00:21:14,967 --> 00:21:17,003 What happened? Where's he going? 328 00:21:17,087 --> 00:21:19,237 Back to the mental clinic, where else? 329 00:21:19,327 --> 00:21:20,476 Mental clinic? 330 00:21:20,567 --> 00:21:23,718 We weren't supposed to tell you, but that's where he's from. 331 00:21:24,007 --> 00:21:28,159 Well, I'll be darned. You never know, do you? 332 00:21:28,247 --> 00:21:29,999 I could tell the minute he walked in. 333 00:21:30,607 --> 00:21:33,075 Well, it wasn't much fun. 334 00:21:33,327 --> 00:21:37,240 Fun? It only goes to show how dangerous working can be. 335 00:21:37,607 --> 00:21:38,596 That's right. 336 00:21:39,447 --> 00:21:41,085 Well, ho-hum. 337 00:21:45,767 --> 00:21:48,520 Don't worry, my dear. That glass is unbreakable. 338 00:21:56,607 --> 00:21:59,440 Cleopatra, please, dear. 339 00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:02,599 Think of all the less-fortunate African stranglers. 340 00:22:05,687 --> 00:22:08,247 That's my good, good girl. 341 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,318 Boy, that's real musical milk. 342 00:22:11,207 --> 00:22:12,720 Yes, baby. 343 00:22:12,807 --> 00:22:13,842 Man. 344 00:22:14,487 --> 00:22:15,806 Show him in, Lurch. 345 00:22:20,087 --> 00:22:22,123 That's my sweet girl. 346 00:22:22,767 --> 00:22:23,756 Yes. 347 00:22:25,847 --> 00:22:27,724 Which one of them is disturbed? 348 00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:29,799 Oh, it was Uncle Fester, right there. 349 00:22:30,167 --> 00:22:33,842 Oh, yes. Yes, I can see he needs help immediately. 350 00:22:34,447 --> 00:22:36,563 - Who are you, old man? - You know. 351 00:22:37,047 --> 00:22:39,925 Is he violent? We gonna have trouble getting him into the clinic? 352 00:22:40,207 --> 00:22:42,675 Oh, Dr. Logan sent you. 353 00:22:42,927 --> 00:22:45,441 You can tell Dr. Logan it won't be necessary. 354 00:22:45,527 --> 00:22:47,006 He's completely recovered. 355 00:22:47,087 --> 00:22:49,999 He snapped right out of it. As you can see, he's completely normal. 356 00:22:51,167 --> 00:22:52,316 Normal? 357 00:22:52,807 --> 00:22:56,277 Sorry to get you out here on a false alarm, old man, 358 00:22:56,367 --> 00:22:59,643 but as you can see everything's right as rain at the Addams house. 359 00:22:59,727 --> 00:23:02,605 You fire us a bill along anyway and better luck next time. 360 00:23:02,687 --> 00:23:06,885 And do tell Dr. Logan I said he needs a long rest. 361 00:23:08,847 --> 00:23:11,680 - So do I. - You rang? 362 00:23:11,767 --> 00:23:13,883 Lurch, show the gentleman out, please. 363 00:23:15,567 --> 00:23:16,556 Good night. 364 00:23:18,927 --> 00:23:22,317 Doctors. Such a strange breed. 365 00:23:22,927 --> 00:23:25,805 I'm so glad you didn't crack up over Diana. 366 00:23:26,687 --> 00:23:28,723 Diana? Who's Diana? 367 00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:31,037 That ravishing creature you were going to marry. 368 00:23:31,127 --> 00:23:34,756 Oh, yeah. I guess she'd sort of slipped my mind. 369 00:23:34,847 --> 00:23:39,602 Well, I guess it's for the best. After all, she's a woman and I'm a man. 370 00:23:40,087 --> 00:23:41,805 What do we got in common?