1
00:00:16,687 --> 00:00:18,678
They're creepy and they're kooky
2
00:00:18,767 --> 00:00:20,598
Mysterious and spooky
3
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,518
They're altogether ooky
4
00:00:22,607 --> 00:00:24,484
The Addams family
5
00:00:24,567 --> 00:00:26,398
The house is a museum
6
00:00:26,487 --> 00:00:28,318
When people come to see 'em
7
00:00:28,407 --> 00:00:30,238
They really are a scream
8
00:00:30,327 --> 00:00:31,840
The Addams family
9
00:00:33,287 --> 00:00:34,276
Neat.
10
00:00:34,727 --> 00:00:35,716
Sweet.
11
00:00:38,567 --> 00:00:39,556
Petite.
12
00:00:39,687 --> 00:00:41,598
So get a witch's shawl on
13
00:00:41,687 --> 00:00:43,564
A broomstick you can crawl on
14
00:00:43,647 --> 00:00:45,444
We're gonna pay a call on
15
00:00:45,527 --> 00:00:48,087
The Addams family
16
00:01:02,127 --> 00:01:03,879
Ready, my dear?
17
00:01:19,887 --> 00:01:21,718
Clean kills, every one of them.
18
00:01:22,567 --> 00:01:24,046
Why don't we use the good china?
19
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,118
Get a much a zippier ping
when it shatters.
20
00:01:26,207 --> 00:01:28,163
Darling, that is the good china.
21
00:01:29,247 --> 00:01:30,839
Gomez, I think I've had enough.
22
00:01:30,927 --> 00:01:33,805
Querida, you've been in a blue funk all day.
23
00:01:33,887 --> 00:01:36,082
Perhaps a change of scenery will help.
24
00:01:36,207 --> 00:01:38,243
Why don't we go to a drive-in movie?
25
00:01:38,327 --> 00:01:40,636
Gomez, darling, why don't you
keep your mind on the problem?
26
00:01:40,727 --> 00:01:43,082
- It is, it is.
- No, dear.
27
00:01:43,927 --> 00:01:46,600
I mean my sister Ophelia's problem.
28
00:01:46,887 --> 00:01:48,206
Oh, that problem.
29
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,326
Poor jilted darling.
30
00:01:50,767 --> 00:01:52,837
Her heart must be broken by now.
31
00:01:52,927 --> 00:01:55,839
That Montrose makes the fifth man
this year to get away from her.
32
00:01:55,927 --> 00:01:58,646
Sixth! Humphrey was the fifth.
Lucky devil.
33
00:01:59,367 --> 00:02:00,846
Gomez!
34
00:02:03,087 --> 00:02:04,122
Let's face it.
35
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:06,084
Ophelia may be your older sister,
36
00:02:06,807 --> 00:02:09,924
but in the school of romance,
I'm afraid she's just a dropout.
37
00:02:10,007 --> 00:02:12,521
Well, I admit she is a bit aggressive.
38
00:02:12,927 --> 00:02:15,760
But after all, that's because
she has so much to give.
39
00:02:16,207 --> 00:02:17,879
You can say that again.
40
00:02:17,967 --> 00:02:20,879
You remember that fellow Stanislaus
she used to date?
41
00:02:20,967 --> 00:02:23,879
Well, she gave him a concussion
and two broken arms.
42
00:02:24,167 --> 00:02:26,123
And they weren't even going steady.
43
00:02:26,207 --> 00:02:29,165
Well, a girl must keep up
with her judo and her karate.
44
00:02:29,647 --> 00:02:31,444
Anyway, I expect her here soon.
45
00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:32,846
And while she's staying with us
46
00:02:32,927 --> 00:02:35,566
I do think we should try
and lighten her burden.
47
00:02:35,647 --> 00:02:38,366
I shall be the soul of compassion
and understanding.
48
00:02:38,447 --> 00:02:40,165
Fester, what are you up to?
49
00:02:40,367 --> 00:02:42,676
I'm making you some more skeet targets.
50
00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:53,797
Miss Ophelia.
51
00:02:58,087 --> 00:03:00,078
Oh, you poor girl, what happened?
52
00:03:04,647 --> 00:03:06,319
Montrose didn't like that.
53
00:03:06,967 --> 00:03:08,195
Spoilsport.
54
00:03:09,087 --> 00:03:11,647
Where is my sweet,
gentle sister, Morticia?
55
00:03:12,407 --> 00:03:14,602
She said she was gonna arrange lunch.
56
00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:16,718
But she may be hiding.
57
00:03:17,927 --> 00:03:22,159
Oh, dear brother-in-law,
I am the most miserable of people.
58
00:03:22,487 --> 00:03:24,239
You've got me there.
59
00:03:24,327 --> 00:03:25,919
I think I'll end it all.
60
00:03:26,007 --> 00:03:28,885
I'll tell Morticia
there will be one less for lunch.
61
00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:31,606
Gomez! Suicide on an empty stomach?
62
00:03:32,847 --> 00:03:34,280
It's very unhealthy.
63
00:03:35,287 --> 00:03:36,515
Ophelia!
64
00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:39,280
Uncle Fester, I'm so unhappy.
65
00:03:39,367 --> 00:03:41,597
Oh, you poor kid, what happened?
66
00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,557
Montrose didn't like that.
67
00:03:50,207 --> 00:03:52,198
He sure must be a weird one.
68
00:03:53,087 --> 00:03:54,486
Darling Ophelia.
69
00:03:55,047 --> 00:03:58,323
Oh, Sister Morticia, I'm so bereft.
70
00:03:58,407 --> 00:04:01,558
Ophelia, it pains to me
to see you so unhappy.
71
00:04:01,647 --> 00:04:02,841
What happened?
72
00:04:08,727 --> 00:04:11,400
Gomez, dear, this is no time for games.
73
00:04:12,567 --> 00:04:15,445
Come, Ophelia,
sit down and tell me all about it.
74
00:04:15,887 --> 00:04:17,525
But skip the judo.
75
00:04:22,247 --> 00:04:23,885
Here you are, Morticia.
76
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,445
I hardly know where to begin.
77
00:04:27,527 --> 00:04:29,563
Well, suppose you start at the beginning.
78
00:04:29,647 --> 00:04:32,844
Gee, Gomez,
your shell collection is getting real big.
79
00:04:33,327 --> 00:04:34,806
Uncle Fester, please.
80
00:04:35,447 --> 00:04:36,766
Go ahead, Ophelia.
81
00:04:37,087 --> 00:04:38,076
Well...
82
00:04:42,247 --> 00:04:43,965
Thank you, Thing.
83
00:04:47,327 --> 00:04:49,397
Don't take it so hard, Ophelia.
84
00:04:49,687 --> 00:04:52,440
This isn't the first time
you've been left holding the bag.
85
00:04:56,247 --> 00:04:58,522
Uncle Fester, that will be quite enough!
86
00:05:00,327 --> 00:05:02,602
I had the most divine ceremony planned.
87
00:05:03,007 --> 00:05:05,760
The canopy was going to be
gray wolf bane
88
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:08,361
with accents of water lilies, wilted.
89
00:05:08,927 --> 00:05:11,316
You always did have an eye for decorating.
90
00:05:11,407 --> 00:05:15,161
We were going to take a three-week
honeymoon cruise on the African Queen.
91
00:05:15,567 --> 00:05:17,205
By george, the man must be mad,
92
00:05:17,287 --> 00:05:19,482
not sticking around
for a fun time like that.
93
00:05:19,567 --> 00:05:21,364
He didn't even say goodbye.
94
00:05:21,807 --> 00:05:25,197
All I got was a telegram
saying he was joining the Peace Corps
95
00:05:25,567 --> 00:05:27,478
and going to the Arctic Circle.
96
00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:29,639
Nice country.
97
00:05:33,647 --> 00:05:35,046
Help.
98
00:05:46,167 --> 00:05:48,920
That thing had a hurricane building up
inside of it.
99
00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:53,885
I don't see what's so funny.
100
00:05:54,607 --> 00:05:56,484
Pray forgive me, Uncle Fester.
101
00:05:56,567 --> 00:06:00,765
It just suddenly occurred to me how much
you look like my dear Montrose.
102
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:03,643
In fact, you two could be twins.
103
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,635
The Peace Corps.
104
00:06:06,527 --> 00:06:09,803
Imagine that precious tub of lard
getting into the Peace Corps.
105
00:06:11,207 --> 00:06:13,562
A fine way to talk about your uncle!
106
00:06:14,847 --> 00:06:18,283
As if the Peace Corps wouldn't
jump at a chance to have me join.
107
00:06:18,727 --> 00:06:22,003
No, Uncle Fester,
Ophelia wasn't talking about you.
108
00:06:22,927 --> 00:06:24,121
There may have been certain similarities
109
00:06:24,207 --> 00:06:26,038
between you
and her description of Montrose.
110
00:06:26,127 --> 00:06:27,196
- But I don't think...
- Sure.
111
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,926
If she was laughing at Montrose,
she was laughing at me
112
00:06:30,007 --> 00:06:32,123
and my chances
of getting into the Peace Corps.
113
00:06:32,207 --> 00:06:33,845
Well, let me tell you something.
114
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,838
There is great big world out there
115
00:06:35,927 --> 00:06:38,999
just begging for a chance
to use my brains and talent.
116
00:06:39,087 --> 00:06:41,920
And to prove it,
I am joining the Peace Corps.
117
00:06:43,807 --> 00:06:45,923
- I'm...
- Uncle Fester!
118
00:06:48,047 --> 00:06:49,605
I think it's wonderful.
119
00:06:49,687 --> 00:06:51,484
- What? This?
- Yes.
120
00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:54,286
No. No, I mean,
your joining the Peace Corps.
121
00:06:54,367 --> 00:06:56,483
Maybe you could find my Montrose for me.
122
00:06:56,567 --> 00:06:58,285
He's my true, true love.
123
00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:00,836
Uncle Fester.
124
00:07:01,247 --> 00:07:04,444
Think of all the help you could give
to people in other countries.
125
00:07:04,527 --> 00:07:09,203
After all, who knows more about building
moats and drawbridges than you?
126
00:07:09,287 --> 00:07:10,402
Say no more, my dear.
127
00:07:10,487 --> 00:07:12,955
An old school chum of mine
is a bigwig in Washington.
128
00:07:13,047 --> 00:07:14,878
I'll give him a call and get the ball rolling.
129
00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:17,800
Congratulations, old man,
you're as good as in.
130
00:07:35,727 --> 00:07:38,195
Can I look now? I'm dying of curiosity.
131
00:07:39,127 --> 00:07:40,401
Not yet.
132
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:43,839
It's you, but something's missing.
133
00:07:44,327 --> 00:07:45,919
Did you get my daisies?
134
00:07:46,087 --> 00:07:48,965
Oh, yes,
especially the ones growing in your head.
135
00:07:49,047 --> 00:07:50,036
Beautiful.
136
00:07:51,407 --> 00:07:52,840
Oh, hi.
137
00:07:54,047 --> 00:07:57,642
I'm making a study schedule
for my Peace Corps exams next week,
138
00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,479
and you girls promised to help me.
139
00:07:59,567 --> 00:08:00,795
So, now let's see.
140
00:08:00,887 --> 00:08:04,960
I've got from 10:00 to 11:00 open
and from 5:00 till 6:00.
141
00:08:05,047 --> 00:08:06,958
Which shall I put you down for, Morticia?
142
00:08:07,047 --> 00:08:10,483
5:00 to 6:00.
I feed my plants from 10:00 to 11:00.
143
00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:11,920
Oh, dear.
144
00:08:12,007 --> 00:08:14,441
I generally weed my head
from 10:00 to 11:00.
145
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,483
But I guess I could rearrange my day.
146
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:21,322
Okay. Swell! With you girls helping me,
I'm a cinch to pass.
147
00:08:22,887 --> 00:08:24,798
I feel a weed growing up there.
148
00:08:25,007 --> 00:08:26,326
Oh, I'll get it.
149
00:08:31,367 --> 00:08:33,244
That's a daisy. Very deep roots.
150
00:08:33,327 --> 00:08:34,646
Oh, sorry.
151
00:08:36,367 --> 00:08:37,595
There, got it!
152
00:08:38,367 --> 00:08:40,676
Thank you, Uncle Fester. You are a dear.
153
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:43,321
Yeah, I guess there's
just no use fighting it.
154
00:08:49,167 --> 00:08:50,680
You know something, Morticia?
155
00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:54,442
That ice really captures
Ophelia's warm personality.
156
00:09:03,807 --> 00:09:04,796
All right now.
157
00:09:04,887 --> 00:09:08,038
"The examination will cover
general and specific topics.
158
00:09:08,367 --> 00:09:09,959
"And you will be required
159
00:09:10,047 --> 00:09:12,686
"to answer questions
based on a wide field of knowledge.
160
00:09:12,767 --> 00:09:16,362
"Now, the following are typical examples
of questions that may be asked."
161
00:09:16,447 --> 00:09:17,482
Are you ready?
162
00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:19,398
- Shoot.
- All right, here we go.
163
00:09:19,487 --> 00:09:22,604
"What is the first aid treatment
for a snake bite?"
164
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,245
Oh, that's a cinch.
165
00:09:24,327 --> 00:09:27,319
You take the snake
and wrap him in a nice warm blanket
166
00:09:27,407 --> 00:09:28,726
so he won't go into shock.
167
00:09:28,807 --> 00:09:30,843
- Right?
- It certainly is.
168
00:09:31,127 --> 00:09:33,322
But that's not the answer they have here.
169
00:09:33,967 --> 00:09:36,197
I can't understand how they'd slip up
on a misprint like this.
170
00:09:36,287 --> 00:09:39,563
Maybe that's an old book.
Try another question.
171
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:40,682
All right.
172
00:09:41,807 --> 00:09:44,321
"The Peace Corps mission
is to make friends.
173
00:09:44,407 --> 00:09:46,523
"Now, what would you do
174
00:09:46,607 --> 00:09:49,360
"if you were invited to a feast
in a native village
175
00:09:49,447 --> 00:09:51,881
"and were served such local delicacies
176
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,446
"as sautéed bat wings,
177
00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:57,520
"brisket of warthog
and sweet and sour scorpion stew?"
178
00:09:58,207 --> 00:10:00,767
I wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole.
179
00:10:02,287 --> 00:10:06,758
Whoever heard of mixing sautéed
bat wings and brisket of warthog?
180
00:10:08,727 --> 00:10:11,366
Ready for the next question, Uncle Fester?
181
00:10:12,127 --> 00:10:14,402
Just as soon as I get this nice and tight.
182
00:10:14,807 --> 00:10:18,641
And I wanna thank you for taking
time off to help me study.
183
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:20,876
There!
184
00:10:21,567 --> 00:10:23,478
All right, Wednesday, shoot.
185
00:10:23,887 --> 00:10:28,119
"Many of the countries
low below the equator
186
00:10:28,207 --> 00:10:32,997
"where the average rainfall exceeds
200 inches per year,
187
00:10:33,087 --> 00:10:35,965
"what would you consider
the people's greatest need?"
188
00:10:37,287 --> 00:10:38,436
Umbrellas.
189
00:10:38,527 --> 00:10:40,563
Oh, Uncle Fester.
190
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,156
Canoes?
191
00:10:42,887 --> 00:10:44,639
Now the swing shift is here.
192
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,843
I'll take over, Wednesday. Thank you.
193
00:10:47,407 --> 00:10:49,875
Now, Uncle Fester,
this is very, very tricky.
194
00:10:50,447 --> 00:10:55,282
You have to make sure that all these pegs
fit into their proper holes.
195
00:10:55,367 --> 00:10:58,165
Oh, yeah, we had one of these things
around here before.
196
00:10:58,247 --> 00:11:00,761
And you have 45 seconds to do it in.
197
00:11:01,247 --> 00:11:02,316
Commence.
198
00:11:10,367 --> 00:11:13,006
Oh, yeah. Hey, this is fun.
199
00:11:13,287 --> 00:11:15,596
Anything that comes easily is fun, dear.
200
00:11:16,487 --> 00:11:17,556
All right.
201
00:11:23,647 --> 00:11:25,205
Hey, that's a toughie.
202
00:11:27,447 --> 00:11:28,880
Oh, thank you, Thing.
203
00:11:33,607 --> 00:11:36,485
Perfect! 45 seconds exactly.
204
00:11:36,887 --> 00:11:39,242
However, Thing did help you
with that last one.
205
00:11:39,327 --> 00:11:43,286
Oh, don't worry. When I take the test,
I'll bring my own mallet.
206
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:48,558
I was truly magnificent.
207
00:11:48,647 --> 00:11:51,559
I bogeyed the fourth, seventh
and ninth holes.
208
00:11:51,647 --> 00:11:53,842
I sliced in the quicksand on the 12th.
209
00:11:53,927 --> 00:11:56,566
I evaded Mama's alligator on the 14th,
210
00:11:57,127 --> 00:11:59,038
and I got a birdie on the 18th.
211
00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:02,999
I think it was a hawk.
It was flying too high to be sure.
212
00:12:03,767 --> 00:12:06,759
Just think,
last year you were a rank amateur.
213
00:12:06,967 --> 00:12:08,320
It's perseverance.
214
00:12:08,807 --> 00:12:09,922
Where's Fester?
215
00:12:10,007 --> 00:12:11,042
I haven't seen him around much
216
00:12:11,127 --> 00:12:13,038
since he started studying
for that Peace Corps exam.
217
00:12:13,127 --> 00:12:14,446
He's in training.
218
00:12:22,607 --> 00:12:25,041
Dear, dear Uncle Fester, that's what I like.
219
00:12:25,127 --> 00:12:27,004
Always one step ahead of me.
220
00:12:27,087 --> 00:12:28,566
One step ahead of you?
221
00:12:29,127 --> 00:12:31,277
I got one foot in the grave.
222
00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:32,595
Now, now.
223
00:12:32,687 --> 00:12:35,679
You have to get into the Peace Corps
so you can find my Montrose.
224
00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:39,965
So, on with our pushups.
225
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,840
Now then.
226
00:12:43,007 --> 00:12:44,201
"Legs straight,
227
00:12:44,927 --> 00:12:46,519
"arms bent at the side,
228
00:12:47,407 --> 00:12:48,635
"head down,
229
00:12:49,327 --> 00:12:51,079
"246 times."
230
00:12:52,767 --> 00:12:55,406
246 times!
231
00:12:57,047 --> 00:12:59,800
Oh, that's my mistake.
That's the page number.
232
00:13:01,567 --> 00:13:03,523
256 times.
233
00:13:04,527 --> 00:13:06,438
Got to get you nice and firm.
234
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:08,761
Straighten up.
235
00:13:09,487 --> 00:13:11,717
And one.
236
00:13:17,607 --> 00:13:20,167
We'll have to find some exercises
for that ground.
237
00:13:20,247 --> 00:13:22,158
It needs firming up, too.
238
00:13:32,767 --> 00:13:36,203
Now blow on it first, Cleopatra,
it's a very hot pizza.
239
00:13:38,287 --> 00:13:40,039
That's mother's baby.
240
00:13:41,407 --> 00:13:44,126
Morticia, have you seen Fester?
It's time for his vitamin shot.
241
00:13:44,207 --> 00:13:46,163
I think he's with Ophelia.
242
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,319
You silly girl.
243
00:13:49,407 --> 00:13:52,046
You'll get tomato sauce all over his jacket.
244
00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:54,643
You know, dear,
she really has a thing for you.
245
00:13:54,727 --> 00:13:56,558
I think she needs a soul mate.
246
00:13:56,807 --> 00:13:57,842
Capital idea.
247
00:13:57,927 --> 00:14:01,840
I'll call my office in Nairobi, have them
send over a male African strangler.
248
00:14:02,207 --> 00:14:04,402
Cleopatra, you're a real flirt.
249
00:14:04,487 --> 00:14:06,842
A true Addams. Well, gotta find Fester.
250
00:14:11,247 --> 00:14:12,965
Fester!
251
00:14:14,607 --> 00:14:15,960
Fester!
252
00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:18,602
Fester!
253
00:14:23,607 --> 00:14:24,801
Zounds!
254
00:14:25,367 --> 00:14:27,756
Looks like I'll have to cut down
on the dosage.
255
00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:34,002
Addams here.
256
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,198
- Washington calling?
- Gomez, darling...
257
00:14:36,287 --> 00:14:37,686
Simpson on the phone from Washington.
258
00:14:37,767 --> 00:14:39,246
Just spoke to the Peace Corps
about Fester.
259
00:14:39,447 --> 00:14:42,678
Simpson, have they decided yet
where they want to assign him?
260
00:14:46,087 --> 00:14:47,156
Yes.
261
00:14:48,207 --> 00:14:51,483
Yes, I see. Well, thanks
for the old college try, Simpson.
262
00:14:51,887 --> 00:14:54,082
What's the matter, darling?
Where are they going to send him?
263
00:14:54,167 --> 00:14:56,158
Nowhere. They were impressed.
264
00:14:56,287 --> 00:14:57,925
As a matter of fact,
the staff psychologist said
265
00:14:58,007 --> 00:15:01,124
he wished that Fester would
commit himself for five or ten years.
266
00:15:01,207 --> 00:15:02,765
Imagine that.
267
00:15:03,327 --> 00:15:05,443
Darling, then why aren't they
going to send him anywhere?
268
00:15:05,527 --> 00:15:07,643
Well, it seems
there's no country in the world
269
00:15:07,727 --> 00:15:10,525
ready at the present time
to accept Fester's talents.
270
00:15:10,927 --> 00:15:13,077
Uncle Fester is rather advanced.
271
00:15:13,167 --> 00:15:16,204
Oh, dear, this is going to come
as quite a blow to Ophelia as well.
272
00:15:16,287 --> 00:15:17,640
Well, I'd better tell him now.
273
00:15:17,727 --> 00:15:20,002
No sense in him getting into condition
for nothing.
274
00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:22,157
Wait a minute, darling, I have an idea.
275
00:15:22,247 --> 00:15:24,807
You know how proud and independent
Uncle Fester is.
276
00:15:24,887 --> 00:15:27,196
Yes, he'll be crushed when he finds out
they don't need him.
277
00:15:27,287 --> 00:15:28,322
Absolutely.
278
00:15:28,407 --> 00:15:31,444
So we must make him feel
he's more needed here at home.
279
00:15:31,807 --> 00:15:34,367
Make it his decision
not to go into the Peace Corps.
280
00:15:34,447 --> 00:15:35,800
Capital idea!
281
00:15:35,887 --> 00:15:37,366
We can't tell Ophelia either.
282
00:15:37,447 --> 00:15:40,325
You know how eager she is
for him to find her Montrose.
283
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:41,635
I'll talk to her later.
284
00:15:41,727 --> 00:15:44,036
Fester won't be difficult.
He's a level-headed fellow.
285
00:15:44,127 --> 00:15:45,606
And I know just how to handle it.
286
00:15:52,607 --> 00:15:54,677
You look a little distressed, Gomez.
287
00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:57,486
Going to end it all.
288
00:15:57,567 --> 00:15:59,285
Is something wrong?
289
00:16:00,447 --> 00:16:03,325
Well, I might as well tell you, Fester,
I'm ruined, wiped out.
290
00:16:03,807 --> 00:16:06,526
That's impossible! You're worth a fortune.
291
00:16:06,607 --> 00:16:07,926
Was, was, Fester.
292
00:16:08,327 --> 00:16:09,885
I was worth a fortune.
293
00:16:10,487 --> 00:16:12,762
But now I'm just another member
of the Great Society.
294
00:16:13,567 --> 00:16:18,322
Well, only last week you bought a railroad
and an airline and a skateboard factory.
295
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:22,521
Yes, I was known all along Wall Street
as the go-go magnate.
296
00:16:23,647 --> 00:16:27,356
Now it's all gone, gone, gone, gone!
297
00:16:29,607 --> 00:16:31,438
There's only one way, Fester.
298
00:16:31,807 --> 00:16:34,162
I can make sure Morticia and the children
299
00:16:34,247 --> 00:16:36,477
and the rest of the family
will have something.
300
00:16:41,247 --> 00:16:43,522
I hope that insurance premium check
doesn't bounce.
301
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,399
Goodbye, Fester.
302
00:16:51,727 --> 00:16:54,400
You can have my trains, blasting caps.
303
00:16:54,487 --> 00:16:56,205
Oh, gee, thanks.
304
00:16:56,287 --> 00:16:58,721
For a minute there
I was sorry to see you go.
305
00:16:59,607 --> 00:17:01,563
Fester, Fester, what about the children?
306
00:17:01,647 --> 00:17:02,796
Don't worry about them.
307
00:17:02,887 --> 00:17:05,003
They can play with the trains
all they want.
308
00:17:05,407 --> 00:17:07,796
Fester, Fester,
children must have a father.
309
00:17:09,367 --> 00:17:12,359
There must...
There must be some way, some way out.
310
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,722
Someone, someone with a computer,
311
00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:19,766
a computer for a brain.
312
00:17:19,847 --> 00:17:24,443
A cold, ruthless financial wizard
might turn the tables.
313
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,965
Where? Where can I find
someone like that?
314
00:17:28,767 --> 00:17:30,598
- You're looking at him.
- You?
315
00:17:31,327 --> 00:17:33,716
It's not for nothing
that they call me gold finger.
316
00:17:34,847 --> 00:17:37,998
But, gee, that'd mean
I'd lose the trains and the blasting caps.
317
00:17:38,087 --> 00:17:40,999
I'll buy you the trains
and the blasting caps.
318
00:17:41,087 --> 00:17:42,520
Well, in that case...
319
00:17:56,607 --> 00:17:59,246
Morticia, your paintings.
320
00:18:06,687 --> 00:18:08,359
May I have a match please?
321
00:18:08,927 --> 00:18:10,485
You're gonna burn them?
322
00:18:10,887 --> 00:18:12,923
I tried calling the trash man,
323
00:18:13,887 --> 00:18:15,764
but he doesn't pick up on Fridays.
324
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:17,486
Well, in that case...
325
00:18:18,447 --> 00:18:21,757
But, Morticia,
these are your masterpieces.
326
00:18:22,207 --> 00:18:24,323
They somehow seem so meaningless.
327
00:18:24,767 --> 00:18:27,600
I seem to have lost contact
with my creative soul.
328
00:18:29,807 --> 00:18:31,320
Yeah, so I see.
329
00:18:32,687 --> 00:18:36,566
But then, every great painter
goes through a dry spell.
330
00:18:36,647 --> 00:18:37,636
Yes.
331
00:18:38,047 --> 00:18:40,925
If only I had some new challenge.
332
00:18:41,847 --> 00:18:43,803
A stimulating model perhaps.
333
00:18:44,807 --> 00:18:46,320
A new model?
334
00:18:47,887 --> 00:18:50,196
- You found him.
- You?
335
00:18:52,607 --> 00:18:54,325
Uncle Fester, that's it.
336
00:18:56,607 --> 00:18:58,120
Don't move.
337
00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:00,646
But, Morticia,
338
00:19:00,727 --> 00:19:04,083
I've been so busy
helping Gomez get back on his feet.
339
00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:07,204
Why, only yesterday
I told him to buy, buy, buy.
340
00:19:08,127 --> 00:19:09,640
Buy, buy, buy?
341
00:19:10,287 --> 00:19:12,323
Yeah, I meant sell, sell, sell.
342
00:19:12,407 --> 00:19:15,285
But it was too late.
He bought and it went up and...
343
00:19:16,287 --> 00:19:18,198
You see, he needs me.
344
00:19:20,247 --> 00:19:21,396
Oh, yes.
345
00:19:21,967 --> 00:19:25,118
And besides, the Peace Corps
will be yelling for me very soon.
346
00:19:26,367 --> 00:19:29,086
But, Uncle Fester,
I need you so desperately, too.
347
00:19:30,527 --> 00:19:31,846
You and the world.
348
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,003
Maybe I can squeeze you in.
349
00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:37,278
Uncle Fester, you are an angel.
350
00:19:38,287 --> 00:19:39,561
An angel!
351
00:19:40,127 --> 00:19:41,162
That's it.
352
00:19:46,047 --> 00:19:48,117
Uncle Fester, you've done it again.
353
00:19:51,687 --> 00:19:55,157
I can feel my creative juices
surging through my veins.
354
00:19:55,247 --> 00:19:57,317
That's wonderful, Morticia, but I...
355
00:19:57,807 --> 00:19:59,479
I think I better come down now.
356
00:19:59,567 --> 00:20:01,876
My creative juices aren't doing so well.
357
00:20:02,207 --> 00:20:03,765
Just this final touch.
358
00:20:06,687 --> 00:20:08,439
Gomez is asleep up in the tower,
359
00:20:08,527 --> 00:20:10,722
but I know he'll be thrilled
when he sees this.
360
00:20:13,207 --> 00:20:15,163
Hold it, hold it just a moment.
361
00:20:25,087 --> 00:20:26,679
Tish, you spoke French.
362
00:20:29,727 --> 00:20:31,957
Will you please get me down?
363
00:20:33,327 --> 00:20:34,999
Darling, please, the rope.
364
00:20:35,487 --> 00:20:36,681
Yes, the rope.
365
00:20:46,207 --> 00:20:48,801
- Hurry, bubele.
- Bubele. That name!
366
00:20:53,727 --> 00:20:55,797
Fester, dear, are you all right?
367
00:20:57,247 --> 00:20:58,521
I'm okay, but...
368
00:20:59,647 --> 00:21:01,842
Look at my bugle.
369
00:21:04,687 --> 00:21:08,043
Hey, what do you know?
It's back in tune again.
370
00:21:11,367 --> 00:21:14,165
This is the most important decision
I have ever made.
371
00:21:15,727 --> 00:21:17,445
But I've made it.
372
00:21:17,807 --> 00:21:20,116
I've decided not to join the Peace Corps.
373
00:21:21,207 --> 00:21:23,880
- I'll answer the door.
- Lurch'll get the door.
374
00:21:23,967 --> 00:21:27,243
What about my Montrose?
You promised you'd get him back for me.
375
00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:28,555
So I did.
376
00:21:28,647 --> 00:21:30,160
Okay, the Peace Corps.
377
00:21:30,687 --> 00:21:32,917
How will I get along
without your financial advice?
378
00:21:33,007 --> 00:21:34,076
That's true.
379
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:35,361
Okay, I'm out.
380
00:21:35,607 --> 00:21:38,246
You mean I'm doomed
to a life of spinsterhood?
381
00:21:38,607 --> 00:21:39,642
I'm in again.
382
00:21:39,727 --> 00:21:43,322
Uncle Fester, you're my sole inspiration.
383
00:21:44,047 --> 00:21:45,036
I'm out again.
384
00:21:45,127 --> 00:21:47,960
I want my Montrose.
385
00:21:48,607 --> 00:21:50,598
I'm in and out.
386
00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:53,639
Gentleman for Miss Ophelia.
387
00:21:56,247 --> 00:21:58,283
- Montrose!
- Baby!
388
00:22:02,287 --> 00:22:04,118
I sure missed that.
389
00:22:04,207 --> 00:22:05,640
Montrose, my love.
390
00:22:06,007 --> 00:22:07,201
Home at last.
391
00:22:07,287 --> 00:22:10,962
How could I ever leave
the only woman who told me
392
00:22:11,047 --> 00:22:14,164
how I reminded her of Richard Burton?
393
00:22:14,647 --> 00:22:15,966
Richard Burton?
394
00:22:16,887 --> 00:22:19,355
Never! You know who he reminds me of?
395
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:21,685
James Bond.
396
00:22:40,207 --> 00:22:42,357
Thank you, Thing, that's much better.
397
00:22:45,767 --> 00:22:47,564
By george, Morticia,
398
00:22:47,647 --> 00:22:50,366
this picture you painted
on the head of a pin is a dandy.
399
00:22:51,007 --> 00:22:52,406
Thank you, darling.
400
00:22:52,487 --> 00:22:54,842
I know how much you enjoy
those battle scenes.
401
00:22:57,887 --> 00:23:00,640
Gomez, would you come outside
and help me hang up this sign?
402
00:23:00,727 --> 00:23:01,762
Sign? What for?
403
00:23:01,847 --> 00:23:05,442
Well, it seems a shame to waste all
that wonderful physical training I got.
404
00:23:05,727 --> 00:23:09,561
So I'm gonna open up my own
Peace Corps physical fitness center.
405
00:23:09,647 --> 00:23:11,877
That's very good thinking, Uncle Fester.
406
00:23:11,967 --> 00:23:15,118
But doesn't the Peace Corps
have a training program of their own?
407
00:23:15,207 --> 00:23:16,606
What do I care?
408
00:23:16,687 --> 00:23:19,804
I got my first student
without even putting up the sign.
409
00:23:19,887 --> 00:23:21,878
Wonderful! Who's your new student?
410
00:23:25,487 --> 00:23:27,318
You rang?
411
00:23:28,127 --> 00:23:30,687
One more.
412
00:23:31,807 --> 00:23:33,320
One.