1 00:00:17,127 --> 00:00:18,799 They're creepy and they're kooky 2 00:00:18,887 --> 00:00:20,764 Mysterious and spooky 3 00:00:20,847 --> 00:00:22,678 They're altogether ooky 4 00:00:22,767 --> 00:00:24,598 The Addams family 5 00:00:24,687 --> 00:00:26,564 The house is a museum 6 00:00:26,647 --> 00:00:28,478 When people come to see 'em 7 00:00:28,567 --> 00:00:30,364 They really are a scream 8 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,005 The Addams family 9 00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:34,082 Neat. 10 00:00:34,727 --> 00:00:35,796 Sweet. 11 00:00:38,567 --> 00:00:39,602 Petite. 12 00:00:40,047 --> 00:00:41,719 So get a witch's shawl on 13 00:00:41,807 --> 00:00:43,638 A broomstick you can crawl on 14 00:00:43,727 --> 00:00:45,524 We're gonna pay a call on 15 00:00:45,607 --> 00:00:48,644 The Addams family 16 00:01:30,407 --> 00:01:34,082 That Uncle Tom 's Cabin sure packs a wallop. 17 00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:37,526 They say Latin is a dead language. 18 00:01:37,607 --> 00:01:39,757 Thank you, culture lovers. 19 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,758 Oh, hello, darlings. 20 00:01:43,287 --> 00:01:46,643 You just missed your father's Latin hour. How was school today? 21 00:01:46,727 --> 00:01:49,400 Back to reality, eh, children, from a world of fantasy? 22 00:01:51,367 --> 00:01:55,519 Wednesday, Pugsley? What's the matter, children? 23 00:01:56,007 --> 00:01:58,362 Oh, I know, you got A's again. 24 00:01:58,447 --> 00:01:59,596 Worse. 25 00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:03,839 That cranky old principal scolded us for having fun at recess. 26 00:02:04,967 --> 00:02:09,677 Recess? If I remember correctly, I flunked that three times. 27 00:02:09,767 --> 00:02:10,916 Tough. 28 00:02:11,007 --> 00:02:13,362 But why on earth would the principal scold you? 29 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:18,079 Search us. We were just showing the kids how to shoot dynamite caps. 30 00:02:18,407 --> 00:02:19,999 Well, it seems harmless enough. 31 00:02:20,087 --> 00:02:22,647 At least they weren't frittering away their time with marbles. 32 00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:27,005 But he got real mad when one of the kids blew up the teeter-totter. 33 00:02:27,087 --> 00:02:29,203 He didn't follow my instructions, 34 00:02:29,287 --> 00:02:33,360 and the principal said if we ever played with dynamite again, he'd expel us. 35 00:02:33,447 --> 00:02:36,439 Expel you? He can't do that. 36 00:02:36,767 --> 00:02:37,756 Can he? 37 00:02:37,847 --> 00:02:42,398 After all, darling, he is the principal. You children run along now and play. 38 00:02:43,927 --> 00:02:48,079 Gomez, if that principal denies our children normal self-expression, 39 00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:50,317 they're liable to become frustrated and warped. 40 00:02:50,407 --> 00:02:54,320 You're right. We don't want them bitter and suspicious of their fellow men. 41 00:02:54,647 --> 00:02:56,638 I think we ought to transfer them to another school. 42 00:02:56,727 --> 00:02:58,445 Those public schools, they're all the same. 43 00:02:58,527 --> 00:03:00,757 No, no, no, I mean a private school. 44 00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:02,958 Darling, do you remember Mr. Hilliard? 45 00:03:03,047 --> 00:03:04,241 Hilliard? Hilliard. 46 00:03:04,327 --> 00:03:06,238 Oh, the fellow who used to be the truant officer. 47 00:03:06,327 --> 00:03:07,396 The very one. 48 00:03:07,527 --> 00:03:11,361 I've heard he's running a marvelous private school called Mockridge Hall. 49 00:03:11,487 --> 00:03:15,526 That's it then. Mockridge Hall. I'll ring up Hilliard right away. 50 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:21,326 As old Erasmus Addams once said, "You've got to take the bull by the teeth." 51 00:03:24,007 --> 00:03:25,599 Teeth? 52 00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:42,203 Some people here to see you. 53 00:03:42,287 --> 00:03:45,757 If there are more bill collectors, I'm out. Our bank account is absolutely... 54 00:03:45,847 --> 00:03:47,997 Oh, they said their name was Addams. 55 00:03:48,127 --> 00:03:52,166 - Addams? One "D" or two? - They didn't say. 56 00:03:52,327 --> 00:03:56,161 - Did they seem a little... - Quite a little. 57 00:03:56,247 --> 00:03:58,158 Miss Ames, I just remembered a dental appointment, 58 00:03:58,247 --> 00:04:00,317 and I can hardly wait to get there. 59 00:04:04,687 --> 00:04:08,600 Mr. Hilliard, what a charming surprise! 60 00:04:08,687 --> 00:04:10,245 You see, Gomez, it is our old friend. 61 00:04:10,327 --> 00:04:13,125 Hilliard, old bean, you just sort of dropped out of sight. 62 00:04:13,207 --> 00:04:14,196 Yeah, I certainly tried. 63 00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:17,040 You're the only truant officer our children ever missed. 64 00:04:17,127 --> 00:04:19,687 We wondered if you were still with the public school system? 65 00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:22,076 No, no, that didn't work out, thanks to you. 66 00:04:22,167 --> 00:04:25,477 Our pleasure, old man, and a shrewd move on your part, too. 67 00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:27,683 You do remember our remarkable offspring? 68 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,758 Pugsley and Wednesday. 69 00:04:29,847 --> 00:04:32,566 Names that haunt even my happiest hours. 70 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,366 Mr. Hilliard, what a lovely compliment! 71 00:04:35,447 --> 00:04:37,881 In that case, Hilliard, you'll be more than delighted to know 72 00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:40,356 that we are again placing them in your capable hands. 73 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,436 Oh, no. 74 00:04:41,527 --> 00:04:44,087 We want to enroll them in Mockridge Hall immediately. 75 00:04:44,167 --> 00:04:47,318 The public school system is stifling their creative talents. 76 00:04:47,567 --> 00:04:48,682 I can imagine. 77 00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:51,804 Well, that's that. Come, my dear, we'll fetch our offspring at once. 78 00:04:51,887 --> 00:04:55,482 Just a moment. I'm afraid there's a slight complication. 79 00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:58,286 Yes, the tuition. No problem at all. You name it. 80 00:04:58,367 --> 00:05:01,404 No, it isn't that. You see, we have a very limited enrolment. 81 00:05:01,487 --> 00:05:04,524 And at the moment, there are absolutely no openings. 82 00:05:04,607 --> 00:05:06,325 Well, you see, we have just so many desks. 83 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:09,240 As a matter of fact, I had to turn down somebody this morning. 84 00:05:09,327 --> 00:05:10,999 Oh, but, Mr. Hilliard, there must be some way. 85 00:05:11,087 --> 00:05:12,839 No way. No way at all, Mrs. Addams. 86 00:05:12,927 --> 00:05:16,556 I'm sorry, but there's absolutely no possibility of... 87 00:05:16,727 --> 00:05:19,480 You see, we have just so many desks. 88 00:05:19,567 --> 00:05:23,082 Well, there's your answer. Two more desks, no problem. 89 00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:24,646 Will $10,000 cover it? 90 00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:29,400 As you can see, 91 00:05:29,487 --> 00:05:33,366 my husband has the ability to solve the most insurmountable problems. 92 00:05:33,447 --> 00:05:35,517 Come on, my pet, we'll find the children at once. 93 00:05:45,807 --> 00:05:51,165 Gomez, look. I had no idea Mr. Hilliard was such a sentimentalist. 94 00:05:51,247 --> 00:05:53,442 Weeping for joy. 95 00:06:03,207 --> 00:06:05,277 You, too? 96 00:06:10,007 --> 00:06:11,963 Every school loves a military touch. 97 00:06:12,047 --> 00:06:16,006 We just had to show our appreciation by giving this school this cannon. 98 00:06:16,087 --> 00:06:18,681 But why does it have to be my cannon? 99 00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:20,997 How can I face that empty room tonight? 100 00:06:21,087 --> 00:06:23,317 Uncle Fester, it's for the children. 101 00:06:23,527 --> 00:06:27,964 Well, in that case, you better let me sight it in, in case they decide to use it. 102 00:06:28,047 --> 00:06:29,924 In case they decide to use it? 103 00:06:30,007 --> 00:06:32,077 Fester, this cannon will be an absolute must 104 00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:35,603 at jousting, regattas, polo and curling events. 105 00:06:44,007 --> 00:06:48,285 I would estimate a five-knot breeze from the direction 106 00:06:48,527 --> 00:06:49,721 of the glue factory. 107 00:06:49,807 --> 00:06:52,367 The glue factory? That's dinner. 108 00:06:52,447 --> 00:06:53,766 Yes. 109 00:07:03,007 --> 00:07:04,759 Good shot, Fester. 110 00:07:04,847 --> 00:07:08,283 Too bad the chief lost his fighting spirit when Geronimo quit. 111 00:07:09,687 --> 00:07:13,566 Children, home from dear old Mockridge Hall so soon? 112 00:07:13,647 --> 00:07:16,844 They let Pugsley and me come home in the middle of our first class. 113 00:07:16,927 --> 00:07:18,918 I'll wager the pets were a smash hit. 114 00:07:19,007 --> 00:07:21,362 When my octopus gave the teacher a hug, 115 00:07:21,447 --> 00:07:24,519 she got so flustered she rang the fire alarm. 116 00:07:25,207 --> 00:07:27,880 Dear Aristotle, he's such an affectionate creature. 117 00:07:27,967 --> 00:07:31,164 Sometimes I worry about the way he takes up with total strangers. 118 00:07:32,127 --> 00:07:34,197 And did teacher like your Gila monster? 119 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:39,281 She got so thrilled that she called for Mr. Hilliard to come and see it, 120 00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:42,518 and then she got so excited that she fainted. 121 00:07:43,487 --> 00:07:47,162 Anyone who likes animals that much has got it here. 122 00:07:47,687 --> 00:07:50,645 Next pet day you should take Mama's alligator. 123 00:07:50,727 --> 00:07:53,639 - Do you think she'll let us? - Well, why don't you ask her? 124 00:07:53,727 --> 00:07:56,924 She's downstairs in the basement wrestling with him now. 125 00:07:57,487 --> 00:08:01,082 I nearly forgot. Mr. Hilliard sent you a note. 126 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:05,162 A personal note from Mr. Hilliard. Isn't that thoughtful? 127 00:08:05,247 --> 00:08:08,284 Man's a pure thoroughbred, Tish. 128 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,840 Thank you, Thing. 129 00:08:16,087 --> 00:08:18,965 Smartest thing we ever did, enroll the children at Mockridge Hall. 130 00:08:19,047 --> 00:08:21,959 Gomez, darling, I don't understand this. I think it's some sort of joke. 131 00:08:22,047 --> 00:08:24,766 Oh, Hilliard, he's a laugh a minute. What is it this time? 132 00:08:24,847 --> 00:08:26,724 Well, he says the children are permanently expelled. 133 00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,877 He even suggests a psychiatrist. 134 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:32,403 "No amount of money in this world is sufficient." 135 00:08:32,647 --> 00:08:36,925 Morticia, this man sounds irrational. He does need a psychiatrist. 136 00:08:37,047 --> 00:08:38,958 I'll call him right now and get things squared away. 137 00:08:39,047 --> 00:08:43,165 Darling, don't you think I'd better call? You're apt to be a bit excited. 138 00:08:43,287 --> 00:08:44,402 You're right, my dear. 139 00:08:44,487 --> 00:08:48,002 Where the welfare of my children is concerned, I'm a snarling wolf at bay. 140 00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:52,962 Oh, thank you, Thing. 141 00:08:54,487 --> 00:08:57,843 Hello? May I speak with Mr. Hilliard, please? 142 00:08:57,927 --> 00:08:59,599 Mrs. Addams calling. 143 00:09:06,007 --> 00:09:07,599 What did he say? 144 00:09:08,087 --> 00:09:10,840 I'm afraid you're right, dear. The poor man is irrational. 145 00:09:10,927 --> 00:09:13,839 - I could hardly understand him. - Did you get the gist of it? 146 00:09:14,407 --> 00:09:19,037 Well, he babbled something about Board of Regents and the faculty. 147 00:09:19,447 --> 00:09:21,915 He said the children would be a menace in any school. 148 00:09:22,087 --> 00:09:25,875 Poor devil, he's not responsible. Being pressured by higher-ups. 149 00:09:26,487 --> 00:09:27,840 I'm afraid you're right. 150 00:09:27,927 --> 00:09:30,521 But what do we do about the children? What about their schooling? 151 00:09:30,607 --> 00:09:33,405 Morticia, there are some things that money just won't buy. 152 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,398 And some things it will. 153 00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:38,603 Mockridge Hall, for instance. 154 00:09:38,687 --> 00:09:40,006 Crackling good notion. 155 00:09:40,087 --> 00:09:42,806 We'll buy the place, run it as it should be run, 156 00:09:42,887 --> 00:09:44,525 and take the pressure off of Hilliard. 157 00:09:44,607 --> 00:09:47,758 Oh, I wish I could be there when that wonderful man hears the good news. 158 00:09:47,847 --> 00:09:49,360 You will, you will, my dear. 159 00:09:49,447 --> 00:09:52,723 It will be another glorious chapter in Addams history. 160 00:10:14,007 --> 00:10:16,316 A new institution of higher learning is born. 161 00:10:17,887 --> 00:10:21,357 Darling, how did you ever happen to think of such an original name? 162 00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:22,840 Just came to me. 163 00:10:22,927 --> 00:10:25,521 Darling, why don't you relax? You must be utterly exhausted. 164 00:10:25,607 --> 00:10:28,917 The chancellor of Addams Hall has little time for creature comforts, my dear. 165 00:10:29,007 --> 00:10:30,838 Remember, tempus fungus. 166 00:10:32,487 --> 00:10:34,125 That, too. 167 00:10:34,207 --> 00:10:35,720 Gomez! 168 00:10:37,047 --> 00:10:41,916 I consider it an honor to serve under you as dean of demolition and dynamite. 169 00:10:42,007 --> 00:10:44,965 - You're the perfect man for it, Fester. - You could get electronics. 170 00:10:45,047 --> 00:10:47,277 Oh, sure. 171 00:10:50,927 --> 00:10:52,076 It must be Mr. Hilliard. 172 00:10:52,167 --> 00:10:55,284 Straight faces, everyone. Remember, save the surprise until last. 173 00:10:58,967 --> 00:11:02,118 Mr. Hilliard. 174 00:11:04,727 --> 00:11:08,163 - Hey, old man, come in, come in. - What a pleasant surprise. 175 00:11:08,247 --> 00:11:09,396 For some obscure reason, 176 00:11:09,487 --> 00:11:11,796 the Board of Regents ordered me to stop by here. 177 00:11:11,887 --> 00:11:14,765 Board of Regents, eh? They do push you around a lot, don't they? 178 00:11:14,927 --> 00:11:17,077 They must be a constant thorn in your side. 179 00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:19,920 Oh, our relationship is most cordial, 180 00:11:20,007 --> 00:11:23,522 and we quite concur on the matter of your children, if that's the reason... 181 00:11:23,607 --> 00:11:26,804 Brave try, old man, but there's no need to cover up for them any longer. 182 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,957 They're off your back for good. 183 00:11:29,047 --> 00:11:30,480 What are you driving at? 184 00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:34,162 You will be delighted to know that there's an entirely new Board of Regents. 185 00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:36,240 Pardon? 186 00:11:38,647 --> 00:11:40,603 You don't possibly mean that you... 187 00:11:40,687 --> 00:11:43,679 Right as rain. We have purchased Mockridge Hall. 188 00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:45,678 Lock, stock and you. 189 00:11:45,767 --> 00:11:48,076 Me? Me! 190 00:11:48,287 --> 00:11:50,801 We insist you remain as headmaster. 191 00:11:50,887 --> 00:11:54,482 We feel sure you'll fit in perfectly with the new plans we have. 192 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:55,921 Plans? 193 00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,646 Yeah, I've given my department a lot of thought. 194 00:11:58,807 --> 00:12:01,196 - Your department? - Exactly. 195 00:12:01,367 --> 00:12:05,645 With the exception of the headmaster, you, we have replaced the entire faculty. 196 00:12:05,727 --> 00:12:08,400 Hilliard, old man, come here. 197 00:12:09,207 --> 00:12:12,119 We've assembled the most advanced teaching aids in the country. 198 00:12:12,487 --> 00:12:13,840 Look at this. 199 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:17,846 Visual aids make strong impressions on young minds. 200 00:12:17,927 --> 00:12:21,397 - Professor Fester, will you oblige? - I'll be glad to. 201 00:12:21,487 --> 00:12:25,366 However, visual combined with audio 202 00:12:25,447 --> 00:12:27,677 really are truly effective. Observe. 203 00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:29,439 Watch. 204 00:12:32,087 --> 00:12:35,557 In a right isosceles triangle, the square of the hypotenuse 205 00:12:35,647 --> 00:12:39,037 is equal to the sum of the square of the opposite two sides. 206 00:12:39,127 --> 00:12:40,560 This is a recording. 207 00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:43,880 What child could resist that? 208 00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:45,639 Look, Mrs. Addams... 209 00:12:45,727 --> 00:12:48,560 And, Hilliard, you'll be pleased to hear that we're de-emphasizing 210 00:12:48,647 --> 00:12:52,356 all of the snap courses like English, Science, Mathematics... 211 00:12:52,447 --> 00:12:55,166 Pugsley, when he was born, was already up to calculus. 212 00:12:55,247 --> 00:12:58,045 Wednesday recited The Raven her first day. 213 00:12:58,127 --> 00:13:00,687 Now, we're going back to the real fundamentals. 214 00:13:00,767 --> 00:13:01,961 Advanced head shrinking. 215 00:13:02,047 --> 00:13:04,242 Yes, that ought to be a required course. 216 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:08,525 And a crash course in theoretical taxidermy. 217 00:13:08,607 --> 00:13:11,440 Yes, and freshman dynamite one and two. 218 00:13:11,527 --> 00:13:13,324 I'll be teaching that, of course. 219 00:13:13,407 --> 00:13:15,398 I wouldn't dare trust it to anyone else. 220 00:13:15,487 --> 00:13:17,443 Oh, this is insanity! 221 00:13:17,527 --> 00:13:20,917 And Mama has got some marvelous ideas for the home economics class. 222 00:13:21,007 --> 00:13:22,759 You rang? 223 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,645 Yes, Lurch. 224 00:13:24,767 --> 00:13:26,598 Would you mind bringing Mama's contribution 225 00:13:26,687 --> 00:13:28,757 to the home economics class? 226 00:13:29,687 --> 00:13:32,599 Thank you. Show it to Mr. Hilliard. 227 00:13:36,087 --> 00:13:39,796 - Baked mongoose. - No, thank you, I just ate. 228 00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:41,559 Save it for later, Lurch. 229 00:13:46,087 --> 00:13:48,282 Don't tell me that's part of the faculty, too. 230 00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:50,756 Thing is our new attendance monitor. 231 00:13:51,167 --> 00:13:54,716 Mr. And Mrs. Addams, it's simply incredible that you'd expect a man 232 00:13:54,807 --> 00:13:58,243 of my scholastic reputation to turn the curriculum of Mockridge Hall 233 00:13:58,327 --> 00:14:00,238 into complete bedlam. 234 00:14:00,327 --> 00:14:03,603 - Addams Hall, Mr. Hilliard. - We have complete confidence in you. 235 00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:11,723 Cousin Itt, are you going to teach animal husbandry? 236 00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:16,880 Of course. Why didn't I think of that? 237 00:14:16,967 --> 00:14:19,197 Raising our own sheepskin for our diplomas. 238 00:14:20,767 --> 00:14:23,327 You can see how shrewd and practical we're gonna be. 239 00:14:23,407 --> 00:14:25,523 Mr. Hilliard, isn't it exciting? 240 00:14:25,687 --> 00:14:30,761 With our innovations and your experience, Addams Hall will be famous in no time. 241 00:14:30,847 --> 00:14:32,405 There's no doubt about that. 242 00:14:32,487 --> 00:14:33,715 Well, now that we understand each other, 243 00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,923 have you any suggestions, Hilliard, old man? 244 00:14:36,007 --> 00:14:39,602 Yes, yes, I do have a suggestion. I suggest you get a new headmaster, I... 245 00:14:39,727 --> 00:14:43,766 I'm leaving. I retire. I quit. Goodbye! 246 00:14:48,447 --> 00:14:50,005 Goodbye! 247 00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,683 Who could've guessed at his mental state? 248 00:14:55,767 --> 00:14:59,555 Poor devil. Probably felt inadequate to the challenge. Thunderation! 249 00:14:59,647 --> 00:15:01,683 Where can we find a replacement? 250 00:15:02,287 --> 00:15:04,562 I'll give it a whirl. 251 00:15:06,527 --> 00:15:08,279 We may have to go to the ends of the earth 252 00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:12,645 to find a man with the suitable wit, intuition and wisdom for the position. 253 00:15:12,807 --> 00:15:15,116 We don't even have to leave this room. 254 00:15:21,727 --> 00:15:22,762 Look, dear. 255 00:15:22,847 --> 00:15:26,886 Querida, you are indeed the wise one. 256 00:15:27,167 --> 00:15:32,195 It's destiny. Kismet. You owe it to the youth of America. 257 00:15:32,527 --> 00:15:34,597 You must assume the mantle. 258 00:15:44,607 --> 00:15:48,885 Our school much prefers challenging your school to a jousting tournament. 259 00:15:49,007 --> 00:15:52,397 But since jousting is not in your restricted curriculum, 260 00:15:52,487 --> 00:15:54,637 we accept your offer of polo. 261 00:15:54,727 --> 00:15:57,400 Respectfully, etcetera, etcetera. 262 00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:02,838 Beautiful shot, darling. 263 00:16:04,287 --> 00:16:07,006 Good show, old paint. Same time tomorrow. 264 00:16:09,287 --> 00:16:12,245 Darling, I'll get that letter off with the others in a moment. 265 00:16:12,327 --> 00:16:16,525 Querida, how can I bear this heavy burden without you at my side? 266 00:16:16,607 --> 00:16:19,599 Darling, such rewarding work. 267 00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:23,839 In only two short weeks absenteeism has completely disappeared. 268 00:16:23,927 --> 00:16:27,397 All a question of intelligent presentation of subject matter. 269 00:16:30,487 --> 00:16:34,639 Dear Uncle Fester, he just loves giving those finals. 270 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:44,001 Cousin Itt. And how is our professor of speech therapy? 271 00:16:46,647 --> 00:16:50,003 How nice. You've been working with the porpoises today? 272 00:16:52,287 --> 00:16:54,642 You have a progress report on tape? 273 00:16:54,727 --> 00:16:56,922 Well, let's hear it. 274 00:17:01,447 --> 00:17:04,962 That's incredible. His lisp is completely gone. 275 00:17:05,047 --> 00:17:07,038 Soon the porpoise will take over the class, 276 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:10,324 and you can go back as instructor at the barber college. 277 00:17:13,487 --> 00:17:16,957 Dear Cousin Itt, he fits in so perfectly. 278 00:17:17,047 --> 00:17:18,685 He's all Addams. 279 00:17:20,967 --> 00:17:23,197 Oh, dear, that must be the committee from the mothers' club. 280 00:17:23,287 --> 00:17:24,322 They called earlier. 281 00:17:24,407 --> 00:17:26,796 - Bully! Show them in. - Yes, darling. 282 00:17:33,967 --> 00:17:36,322 Tish, you know what that French does to me. 283 00:17:36,407 --> 00:17:38,875 Chancellor Addams, really! 284 00:17:39,127 --> 00:17:40,845 Sorry, wrong arm. 285 00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:42,485 I'm Mrs. Addams. 286 00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:44,159 Welcome, gentle mothers, at your service. 287 00:17:44,247 --> 00:17:48,240 We have come to verify the fantastic things our children have been telling us. 288 00:17:48,527 --> 00:17:52,998 Classes in mine laying and do-it-yourself dentistry? 289 00:17:53,087 --> 00:17:55,396 Would you like to tour the campus? 290 00:17:55,527 --> 00:17:58,200 Thank you, but I think we've seen quite enough. 291 00:17:58,287 --> 00:18:02,565 Mr. Addams, in this envelope is a resolution signed by the parent 292 00:18:02,647 --> 00:18:06,083 of every child in this school, except yours. 293 00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:08,761 What an honor after such a short time in office. 294 00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:11,037 Oh, I do hope it's suitable for framing. 295 00:18:11,127 --> 00:18:15,325 It states that unless Mr. Hilliard and his programs are reinstated, 296 00:18:15,407 --> 00:18:18,717 every child in this school will be withdrawn at once. 297 00:18:19,087 --> 00:18:21,681 And we do mean at once. 298 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,884 Mr. Hilliard, or an empty school. 299 00:18:24,967 --> 00:18:26,195 Come, ladies. 300 00:18:32,127 --> 00:18:34,641 Such dear, compassionate ladies. 301 00:18:34,727 --> 00:18:36,319 Dear? Compassionate? 302 00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,726 Even though they're wrong, 303 00:18:37,807 --> 00:18:40,640 they can't bring themselves to let Mr. Hilliard down. 304 00:18:40,727 --> 00:18:44,640 - It's blind loyalty. - Lf I could only be certain. 305 00:18:44,767 --> 00:18:46,723 Darling, why don't we go home? 306 00:18:46,887 --> 00:18:50,357 In the proper surroundings, you'll see things in their true perspective. 307 00:19:00,127 --> 00:19:02,516 Lurch should be back by now. 308 00:19:09,127 --> 00:19:11,083 Slow. 309 00:19:11,607 --> 00:19:13,359 What's the correct time, pet? 310 00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:21,125 Thank you, my dear. 311 00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:26,161 It's a noble thing you're about to do, Gomez. 312 00:19:26,247 --> 00:19:29,796 Confronted with your relentless logic, my dear, I have no choice. 313 00:19:42,607 --> 00:19:45,758 Oh, Mr. Hilliard, how nice of you to drop by. 314 00:19:45,847 --> 00:19:50,079 Drop by? I was brutally kidnapped by that one-man goon squad. 315 00:19:50,167 --> 00:19:53,443 Same old Hilliard. He can charm the birds out of the trees. 316 00:19:53,607 --> 00:19:56,440 Mr. Hilliard, we have such lovely news for you. 317 00:19:56,527 --> 00:19:58,119 You mean I can go? 318 00:19:58,207 --> 00:20:01,563 No, no, no. Not until you have some refreshment. 319 00:20:01,927 --> 00:20:05,397 Why does it have to be me? Always me. 320 00:20:05,567 --> 00:20:07,285 - Here you are. - No. 321 00:20:07,367 --> 00:20:10,325 We like the cut of your jib, Hilliard. We need you back at the school. 322 00:20:10,407 --> 00:20:12,796 I'll take that after all, Mrs. Addams. 323 00:20:12,887 --> 00:20:16,163 Your presence at the school is an absolute must, Mr. Hilliard. 324 00:20:16,247 --> 00:20:19,364 Why can't I make you understand that wild horses wouldn't drag me... 325 00:20:19,447 --> 00:20:22,245 And the fierce, if somewhat blind, loyalty of our mothers 326 00:20:22,327 --> 00:20:23,806 should not go unrewarded. 327 00:20:23,887 --> 00:20:27,402 And feast your eyes on this, old sport. The new financial report. 328 00:20:29,767 --> 00:20:33,123 Why, the school is financially independent forever. 329 00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:35,364 I simply don't understand. 330 00:20:35,487 --> 00:20:37,557 Now that my husband has brought the school 331 00:20:37,647 --> 00:20:39,717 out of its scholastic doldrums as well, 332 00:20:39,807 --> 00:20:43,356 we feel confident that you will follow the trail he's blazed. 333 00:20:43,727 --> 00:20:46,400 If I did return, I'd have to be in complete charge. 334 00:20:46,527 --> 00:20:48,643 - Oh, I'd insist on that. - Then it's agreed. 335 00:20:48,727 --> 00:20:50,957 Wait a minute, let's understand each other. 336 00:20:51,047 --> 00:20:54,403 - I'm to run the school as I see fit? - Exactly. 337 00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:55,966 No catches. 338 00:20:58,087 --> 00:21:01,124 Well, we'll be honest with you. There is one. 339 00:21:01,207 --> 00:21:02,196 I knew it. 340 00:21:02,287 --> 00:21:04,437 Fester stays on as dean of demolition. 341 00:21:04,527 --> 00:21:05,880 I knew it, I knew it! 342 00:21:05,967 --> 00:21:08,606 - Wait, wait till I get to the catch. - There's more? 343 00:21:08,687 --> 00:21:11,440 You see, he's working on a rather complicated project here at home. 344 00:21:11,527 --> 00:21:14,439 It may be years before you can actually have him. 345 00:21:14,527 --> 00:21:17,280 I think I can make the sacrifice. 346 00:21:24,327 --> 00:21:28,366 Good news, Uncle Fester. Mr. Hilliard's coming back to school. 347 00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:32,557 Well, the way things are going, I'll need an extended leave. 348 00:21:32,647 --> 00:21:33,762 Problems with the project? 349 00:21:33,847 --> 00:21:36,964 Yeah. I got the whole formula backwards. 350 00:21:37,047 --> 00:21:39,402 It's supposed to blow up, not down. 351 00:21:40,847 --> 00:21:44,806 Mr. Hilliard, it's too bad you can't have him sooner. 352 00:21:44,967 --> 00:21:46,719 He's such a perfectionist. 353 00:22:14,087 --> 00:22:16,965 If only the music appreciation class could have heard that. 354 00:22:20,487 --> 00:22:23,365 Off to school, children? Well, give our best to Mr. Hilliard. 355 00:22:23,607 --> 00:22:26,360 Father, we don't like private school anymore. 356 00:22:26,447 --> 00:22:29,007 It's no fun now that you're not there. 357 00:22:29,247 --> 00:22:30,236 That's a point. 358 00:22:30,327 --> 00:22:32,318 We want to go back to public school. 359 00:22:32,407 --> 00:22:34,477 Very well, on one condition. 360 00:22:34,647 --> 00:22:38,435 That you keep up your home studies with Uncle Fester and Grandmama. 361 00:22:38,767 --> 00:22:40,485 We'll keep up our home studies. 362 00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:43,877 We promise. Wait until the principal sees us again. 363 00:22:43,967 --> 00:22:45,286 Come on, Pugsley. 364 00:22:45,367 --> 00:22:49,963 Oh, boy. I can hardly wait to see his face. It turns such a pretty purple. 365 00:22:50,247 --> 00:22:51,680 Bye, children. 366 00:22:52,487 --> 00:22:56,480 Oh, dear. Back to public school again, after all that trouble. 367 00:22:56,567 --> 00:22:58,478 But it served a purpose, Morticia. 368 00:22:58,567 --> 00:23:00,637 Education's in my blood. I can't quit. 369 00:23:00,727 --> 00:23:03,799 - What do you mean, darling? - It's a surprise, my dear, a surprise. 370 00:23:08,287 --> 00:23:11,996 Thank you, Thing. Hello, Watkins? How's the deal? 371 00:23:12,447 --> 00:23:14,961 Oh, Harvard wouldn't sell? 372 00:23:15,047 --> 00:23:19,359 Well, too bad. I wanted to get it for Mrs. Addams' birthday. 373 00:23:20,007 --> 00:23:23,283 Well, keep trying old man. Try Oxford, Yale, Princeton. 374 00:23:23,607 --> 00:23:26,804 Gomez, how touching, darling! 375 00:23:26,927 --> 00:23:29,646 You wanted to buy me Harvard for my birthday. 376 00:23:29,807 --> 00:23:33,117 Come to think of it, it is rather a silly gift for a beautiful woman. 377 00:23:33,607 --> 00:23:35,245 I should get you Vassar.