1 00:00:17,047 --> 00:00:18,799 They're creepy and they're kooky 2 00:00:18,887 --> 00:00:20,718 Mysterious and spooky 3 00:00:20,807 --> 00:00:22,638 They're altogether ooky 4 00:00:22,727 --> 00:00:24,604 The Addams family 5 00:00:24,687 --> 00:00:26,518 The house is a museum 6 00:00:26,607 --> 00:00:28,484 When people come to see 'em 7 00:00:28,567 --> 00:00:30,364 They really are a scream 8 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,039 The Addams family 9 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,356 Neat. 10 00:00:35,047 --> 00:00:36,036 Sweet. 11 00:00:38,807 --> 00:00:39,842 Petite. 12 00:00:39,927 --> 00:00:41,758 So get a witch's shawl on 13 00:00:41,847 --> 00:00:43,678 A broomstick you can crawl on 14 00:00:43,767 --> 00:00:45,564 We're gonna pay a call on 15 00:00:45,647 --> 00:00:49,117 The Addams family 16 00:01:02,567 --> 00:01:03,841 Lovely! 17 00:01:03,927 --> 00:01:05,440 Wait till you see how it really works. 18 00:01:05,527 --> 00:01:06,960 Will you hand me another log, Fester? Thank you. 19 00:01:07,047 --> 00:01:09,242 Are you sure it's gonna work? 20 00:01:09,327 --> 00:01:11,887 Well, there's only one way to find out. 21 00:01:11,967 --> 00:01:14,800 - All set, querida? - Any time you're ready, darling. 22 00:01:14,887 --> 00:01:16,843 All right. Ready. 23 00:01:16,927 --> 00:01:18,121 Aim. 24 00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:20,086 Fire! 25 00:01:21,527 --> 00:01:24,166 I don't know how we ever got along without a flamethrower. 26 00:01:24,247 --> 00:01:26,317 No housewife should be without one. 27 00:01:26,407 --> 00:01:28,921 Think of the savings in matches alone. 28 00:01:29,007 --> 00:01:31,646 Not to mention the efficiency. 29 00:01:31,727 --> 00:01:33,604 Instant yak! Toasted. 30 00:01:35,687 --> 00:01:39,680 - Morticia, can I try it once, please? - Of course, dear. 31 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,884 I'll give you something really to shoot at. 32 00:01:42,967 --> 00:01:44,366 Pardon me. 33 00:01:45,607 --> 00:01:48,041 Okay, light the cigar. 34 00:01:49,487 --> 00:01:52,604 Gomez, dear, aren't you being a little reckless? 35 00:01:54,007 --> 00:01:56,646 Not at all. It's only a nickel cigar. 36 00:01:56,727 --> 00:01:58,285 Steady, Gomez! 37 00:01:59,087 --> 00:02:01,806 Uncle Fester, you have nerves of steel. 38 00:02:01,887 --> 00:02:04,003 Now, only if his hand would stop shaking. 39 00:02:04,087 --> 00:02:06,282 Don't you worry about me. 40 00:02:06,367 --> 00:02:09,006 All right, Morticia, give me the countdown. 41 00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:12,682 Ready. Aim. Fire. 42 00:02:16,607 --> 00:02:20,236 Gadzooks, Fester! You set the stuffed bear on fire. 43 00:02:21,727 --> 00:02:26,084 Maybe I should have had it on low instead of high. 44 00:02:30,687 --> 00:02:32,325 You rang? 45 00:02:32,407 --> 00:02:36,195 Yes, Lurch, would you bring a bucket of water, please? 46 00:02:36,287 --> 00:02:38,243 Yes, Mrs. Addams. 47 00:02:42,007 --> 00:02:44,077 By george, you have to admire Lurch. 48 00:02:45,047 --> 00:02:46,719 Never panics. 49 00:02:53,087 --> 00:02:54,805 Thank you, Lurch. 50 00:03:00,727 --> 00:03:03,241 Well, I'm afraid we're a bit late. 51 00:03:03,327 --> 00:03:06,842 Dear old Smokey. Up in smoke. 52 00:03:06,927 --> 00:03:08,406 He was a great burner. 53 00:03:08,487 --> 00:03:12,116 Just after I spent all morning polishing his fur up. 54 00:03:12,207 --> 00:03:14,323 Polishing his... 55 00:03:14,407 --> 00:03:18,002 Uncle Fester. Did you use the E-Z Clean? 56 00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,876 I thought you said kerosene. 57 00:03:21,967 --> 00:03:23,286 Natural enough mistake. 58 00:03:23,367 --> 00:03:26,484 Yes, and besides we have plenty of insurance coverage 59 00:03:26,567 --> 00:03:29,206 for normal household accidents. 60 00:03:29,287 --> 00:03:31,403 Of course. The insurance company must have 61 00:03:31,487 --> 00:03:34,320 thousands of claims from badly-aimed flamethrowers. 62 00:03:34,807 --> 00:03:37,401 Hello. Double Indemnity Insurance Company? 63 00:03:37,487 --> 00:03:40,604 I'd like to speak to your manager, Mr. Henson, please. 64 00:03:43,647 --> 00:03:45,478 A.J. Henson speaking. 65 00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:49,958 I'd like to report a household accident. Damage from a burn. 66 00:03:50,047 --> 00:03:51,878 A cigarette burn? 67 00:03:51,967 --> 00:03:53,446 No. A bear burn. 68 00:03:56,447 --> 00:03:58,199 Was the bear smoking? 69 00:03:58,287 --> 00:04:01,324 Hardly at all, and he went up just like that. 70 00:04:03,567 --> 00:04:07,162 Madam, will you please give me your name? 71 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,566 Morticia Addams. 72 00:04:15,487 --> 00:04:17,637 Digby, come in here this minute. 73 00:04:21,407 --> 00:04:25,844 Did I or did I not tell you to cancel all the Addams' policies? 74 00:04:25,927 --> 00:04:27,758 And I did just that, sir. 75 00:04:27,847 --> 00:04:30,566 Their life insurance, car insurance, hurricane insurance, 76 00:04:30,647 --> 00:04:32,956 - endowment to the college... - Household accidents? 77 00:04:33,047 --> 00:04:34,241 Household... 78 00:04:34,327 --> 00:04:37,080 Oh, dear. That one I forgot. 79 00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:52,326 Wait. It always opens by itself. 80 00:04:58,247 --> 00:04:59,680 Well, open it. 81 00:05:03,847 --> 00:05:05,166 Let me see. 82 00:05:07,247 --> 00:05:08,566 Come. 83 00:05:56,367 --> 00:05:58,756 Follow me. 84 00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:01,560 Good luck, Digby. 85 00:06:04,727 --> 00:06:07,844 That's 30 for Thing and none for you, dear. 86 00:06:07,927 --> 00:06:09,645 Really, I thought I beat him once. 87 00:06:09,727 --> 00:06:11,877 No, darling. It was I who beat him. 88 00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:17,039 Mr. Digby. Double Indemnity. 89 00:06:21,407 --> 00:06:24,717 Good to see you again, Digby. You remember my wife? 90 00:06:24,807 --> 00:06:26,763 No one forgets Mrs. Addams. 91 00:06:27,327 --> 00:06:29,966 Now, about your claim. Could I see this bear you burned? 92 00:06:30,047 --> 00:06:31,605 Of course. 93 00:06:31,687 --> 00:06:33,325 There he is, poor dear. 94 00:06:33,407 --> 00:06:36,080 Just a cinder of his former self. 95 00:06:36,167 --> 00:06:39,523 I don't want to quibble, but how do I know that was a bear? 96 00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,359 Well, let's use simple logic. 97 00:06:41,447 --> 00:06:44,439 - Does it look like an antelope? - No. 98 00:06:44,527 --> 00:06:46,643 - A zebra? - No. 99 00:06:46,727 --> 00:06:48,797 - A giraffe? - No. 100 00:06:49,247 --> 00:06:52,205 - An elephant? - No. 101 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,276 A tiger. 102 00:06:53,807 --> 00:06:56,241 - No. - A camel? 103 00:06:56,327 --> 00:06:57,362 No! 104 00:06:57,447 --> 00:07:00,598 - A gorilla? - Well... 105 00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:02,245 No. No. 106 00:07:02,327 --> 00:07:04,522 Well, then it must be a bear. 107 00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:08,200 Querida, with your incisive mind, 108 00:07:08,287 --> 00:07:10,517 you should be on the Supreme Court. 109 00:07:10,607 --> 00:07:12,962 I do love those black robes. 110 00:07:13,047 --> 00:07:14,275 Look, I hate to quibble. 111 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:15,880 How much money will you settle for? 112 00:07:15,967 --> 00:07:18,481 Digby, don't be vulgar, we don't want money. 113 00:07:18,567 --> 00:07:20,159 What we want is another bear. 114 00:07:20,247 --> 00:07:23,319 What else could possibly go with our decor? 115 00:07:23,407 --> 00:07:26,160 A bear may be a little hard to come by. 116 00:07:26,247 --> 00:07:28,556 - How about a lion? - We already have one. 117 00:07:28,647 --> 00:07:29,682 Stuffed? 118 00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:32,565 Well, he is after he's had his dinner. 119 00:07:32,647 --> 00:07:35,923 Speak of food and here's Kitty cat. 120 00:07:42,647 --> 00:07:44,365 Excuse me. 121 00:07:48,847 --> 00:07:51,281 Well, that was rather abrupt. 122 00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:53,562 He was in a hurry to settle our claim. 123 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:54,966 Excellent service. 124 00:08:02,527 --> 00:08:05,519 Darling. Read some more of Mr. Poe. 125 00:08:05,607 --> 00:08:06,960 He's so exciting. 126 00:08:07,047 --> 00:08:10,756 Certainly makes the blood rush to one's head. 127 00:08:11,567 --> 00:08:13,717 "Once upon a midnight dreary 128 00:08:13,807 --> 00:08:16,116 "while I pondered, weak and weary 129 00:08:16,207 --> 00:08:20,280 "Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore 130 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,597 "While I nodded, nearly napping 131 00:08:22,687 --> 00:08:24,917 "suddenly there came a tapping 132 00:08:25,007 --> 00:08:26,998 "As of someone gently rapping 133 00:08:27,087 --> 00:08:28,076 "rapping..." 134 00:08:29,087 --> 00:08:33,717 - Is that someone rapping? - I can't tell if it's rapping or tapping. 135 00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:40,560 Querida, do you suppose it could be the raven? 136 00:08:40,647 --> 00:08:42,683 I don't think so, dear. 137 00:08:42,767 --> 00:08:45,281 This rapping seems to be coming on a window. 138 00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:49,246 And according to Mr. Poe, ravens rap at doors. 139 00:08:50,367 --> 00:08:52,835 Maybe this bird's a little confused. 140 00:08:58,687 --> 00:09:02,475 - Darling, it is a raven. - Looks exactly like Digby. 141 00:09:05,447 --> 00:09:07,005 By george, it is Digby. 142 00:09:09,927 --> 00:09:10,962 Digby, old man. 143 00:09:11,047 --> 00:09:13,561 We're not accustomed to people lurking about our windows. 144 00:09:13,647 --> 00:09:15,160 Is the lion around? 145 00:09:15,247 --> 00:09:17,602 - No, he's asleep. - We'll wake him if you like. 146 00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:19,166 No. No, please! 147 00:09:19,967 --> 00:09:22,356 Well, speak up, old man, do you have our bear or haven't you? 148 00:09:22,447 --> 00:09:24,438 Well, yes and no. 149 00:09:24,527 --> 00:09:27,166 I like a man who comes right to the point. 150 00:09:27,247 --> 00:09:29,886 Mr. Addams, we simply can't find a bear that big. 151 00:09:29,967 --> 00:09:33,755 That's absurd, there are thousands of them running all over Alaska. 152 00:09:37,167 --> 00:09:38,236 That's what he said. 153 00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:42,366 "There are thousands of them running all over Alaska." 154 00:09:42,447 --> 00:09:47,237 If we gave people everything they want, we would soon be out of business. 155 00:09:47,327 --> 00:09:51,366 Digby, there are two ends to running the insurance game, 156 00:09:51,447 --> 00:09:55,838 taking the money in and refusing to pay it out. 157 00:09:55,927 --> 00:09:58,157 Maybe you'd better talk to him. 158 00:09:58,247 --> 00:10:00,477 We'll go over there together. 159 00:10:03,367 --> 00:10:07,963 Old Loophole Henson will show you how to handle troublemakers. 160 00:10:11,047 --> 00:10:13,003 How sweet of you, Mr. Henson, 161 00:10:13,087 --> 00:10:16,318 to take this personal interest in our little problem. 162 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:19,956 Oh, we believe in the personal touch, dear Mrs. Addams. 163 00:10:20,047 --> 00:10:23,483 No matter how ridiculous the claim may be. 164 00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:25,956 I know just what you mean, Henson. 165 00:10:26,047 --> 00:10:29,642 Would you mind reenacting the accident? 166 00:10:29,727 --> 00:10:31,763 Not at all. Fester? 167 00:10:34,047 --> 00:10:36,641 Hi. I didn't know we had company. 168 00:10:36,727 --> 00:10:39,525 These gentlemen are here about our insurance claim, Uncle Fester. 169 00:10:39,607 --> 00:10:42,883 Take your firing position, Fester. Henson, if you'll just step this way, 170 00:10:42,967 --> 00:10:44,764 I'll show you exactly what happened. 171 00:10:44,847 --> 00:10:48,317 Now, I was standing right where you are, the cigar in my mouth, 172 00:10:48,407 --> 00:10:51,126 and Mrs. Addams uttered those fatal words. 173 00:10:54,047 --> 00:10:55,036 Ready. 174 00:10:56,207 --> 00:10:58,243 Aim. 175 00:10:58,327 --> 00:10:59,316 Fire. 176 00:11:03,647 --> 00:11:05,365 This is outrageous! 177 00:11:05,447 --> 00:11:09,156 Certainly is. Fester, you missed that cigar by a good two inches. 178 00:11:09,247 --> 00:11:12,637 Why, there isn't a policy in the world that covers a flamethrower. 179 00:11:12,727 --> 00:11:14,763 Oh, that's not quite true, sir. 180 00:11:14,847 --> 00:11:18,157 As it says right here in paragraph 42, subhead 18, 181 00:11:18,247 --> 00:11:20,556 fine print, article 12, "Fire is fire." 182 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:24,322 Oh, I am glad you mentioned that, Digby. You're fired! 183 00:11:24,407 --> 00:11:27,399 And so far as your policy is concerned, sir... 184 00:11:34,847 --> 00:11:37,805 Gomez, I have a feeling he isn't going to pay. 185 00:11:37,887 --> 00:11:40,242 Nonsense. He's just playing hard to get. 186 00:11:40,327 --> 00:11:42,716 Well, anybody got the want ads handy? 187 00:11:42,807 --> 00:11:45,321 Don't worry, Mr. Digby, we're going to help you. 188 00:11:45,407 --> 00:11:46,556 Now I'm worried. 189 00:11:46,647 --> 00:11:48,285 We're going to take you under our wing. 190 00:11:48,367 --> 00:11:49,516 Have a cigar. 191 00:11:51,367 --> 00:11:54,325 The executive type if I ever saw one. 192 00:11:58,127 --> 00:12:00,038 A perfect hit! 193 00:12:00,127 --> 00:12:04,359 Congratulations, Digby. You are now in our hands. 194 00:12:04,447 --> 00:12:06,085 Digby? 195 00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:07,759 Digby, I'm talking to you. 196 00:12:07,847 --> 00:12:10,361 Oh, darling, these executive types. 197 00:12:10,447 --> 00:12:14,201 The mere smell of success goes right to their heads. 198 00:12:25,407 --> 00:12:26,840 It's no use. I can't bring him to. 199 00:12:26,927 --> 00:12:30,476 Uncle Fester, do you think you're charged up enough to do this? 200 00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:32,762 I'll give it a whirl. 201 00:12:33,647 --> 00:12:35,717 Don't, don't. I'm innocent. 202 00:12:35,807 --> 00:12:37,798 Pull your self together, old man. 203 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:40,606 Must have been a dream. I thought I was in the electric chair. 204 00:12:40,687 --> 00:12:43,406 The chair isn't electric. But Uncle Fester is. 205 00:12:43,487 --> 00:12:45,762 Yeah, I'm really hot today. 206 00:12:45,847 --> 00:12:48,805 - Let me out of here. - Relax, Digby, you're among friends. 207 00:12:48,887 --> 00:12:52,675 Please. Call my enemies. I got to get out of here and find a job. 208 00:12:52,767 --> 00:12:56,237 That won't be necessary, you can go to work in any of my far-flung enterprises. 209 00:12:56,327 --> 00:12:57,965 How far-flung are they? 210 00:12:58,047 --> 00:13:01,722 Oh, Africa. Asia Minor. Asia Major. 211 00:13:01,807 --> 00:13:03,763 Haven't you something a little further? 212 00:13:03,847 --> 00:13:05,166 You name it, we've got it. 213 00:13:05,247 --> 00:13:10,037 Before you make your decision, you should see all the opportunities. 214 00:13:14,607 --> 00:13:16,438 You rang? 215 00:13:16,527 --> 00:13:18,995 Yes, Lurch. Please bring the projector. 216 00:13:19,087 --> 00:13:22,238 We want to show Mr. Digby some opportunities. 217 00:13:25,207 --> 00:13:26,401 Ready, Lurch? 218 00:13:26,487 --> 00:13:29,160 Ready, Mrs. Addams. 219 00:13:29,247 --> 00:13:30,646 Action. 220 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,126 Camera. 221 00:13:37,287 --> 00:13:39,676 There's my mango plantation. 222 00:13:39,767 --> 00:13:41,485 Lovely location. 223 00:13:41,567 --> 00:13:45,719 Right next door to the most charming colony of cannibals. 224 00:13:45,807 --> 00:13:47,286 Cannibals? 225 00:13:47,367 --> 00:13:50,359 Well, they're really nice fellas once you get to know them. 226 00:13:50,447 --> 00:13:52,119 They keep inviting us over for lunch. 227 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:53,401 As guests? 228 00:13:53,487 --> 00:13:54,920 As dessert. 229 00:13:55,927 --> 00:13:58,680 There's a real opportunity there for a go-getter. 230 00:13:58,767 --> 00:14:01,486 Job of superintendent is wide open. 231 00:14:01,567 --> 00:14:04,320 What happened to the last one? Dessert? 232 00:14:04,407 --> 00:14:05,965 I don't know for sure. 233 00:14:06,047 --> 00:14:07,799 He was such a sweet man. 234 00:14:08,687 --> 00:14:09,722 Dessert! 235 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,924 Well, if the mango business doesn't appeal to you, 236 00:14:13,007 --> 00:14:15,282 here's my crocodile farm in Mozambique. 237 00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:21,123 I've got a real opening there. 238 00:14:23,927 --> 00:14:27,317 I don't think I care for that opening. 239 00:14:27,407 --> 00:14:29,318 Gomez, darling, Mr. Digby's right. 240 00:14:29,407 --> 00:14:31,796 He needs something where he can rise right to the top. 241 00:14:31,887 --> 00:14:34,845 I've got just the thing coming up. 242 00:14:34,927 --> 00:14:37,282 My tapioca mines on the top of Mount Everest. 243 00:14:40,567 --> 00:14:43,081 Now, the transportation is a bit tricky, 244 00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:46,796 but once you get up there, it's a veritable fairyland. 245 00:14:47,727 --> 00:14:50,002 How do you get the tapioca down? 246 00:14:50,087 --> 00:14:51,805 You've hit the problem right on the head, Digby. 247 00:14:51,887 --> 00:14:54,606 That's why we need a new manager. 248 00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:01,237 Well, Digby, which one would you like to shoot for? 249 00:15:01,327 --> 00:15:04,319 With opportunities like that, I'll think I'll shoot myself. 250 00:15:04,407 --> 00:15:06,079 Too many opportunities. Too confusing? 251 00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:07,885 Well, look, you just go home and think about it. 252 00:15:07,967 --> 00:15:11,004 I'll think about it at the unemployment office. 253 00:15:15,487 --> 00:15:16,556 Poor man. 254 00:15:16,647 --> 00:15:20,276 Fifteen minutes of unemployment and he's completely unhinged. 255 00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:23,120 I have it. I'll set him up in his own business. 256 00:15:23,207 --> 00:15:25,516 - An insurance company? - Excellent idea, my dear. 257 00:15:25,607 --> 00:15:30,761 I'll capitalize with $500,000 and amortize the principal over a 10-year period. 258 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,121 Darling, what does that mean? 259 00:15:32,207 --> 00:15:35,279 Who knows? That's the way I run all my enterprises. 260 00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:38,006 Sometimes, simple faith is best. 261 00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:44,846 - You rang? - Yes, Lurch. 262 00:15:44,927 --> 00:15:47,043 We're going to open the Digby Insurance Company. 263 00:15:47,127 --> 00:15:51,803 We want you to prepare a full-page ad for this afternoon's newspapers. 264 00:15:51,887 --> 00:15:53,605 What shall I say? 265 00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:56,724 Well, use your own judgment, Lurch. You have a wonderful flair with words. 266 00:15:56,807 --> 00:15:59,844 Let yourself go, be lyrical. 267 00:16:04,847 --> 00:16:07,680 With enthusiasm like that, how can we miss? 268 00:16:16,527 --> 00:16:18,961 Follow me. 269 00:16:25,887 --> 00:16:27,878 Well, Digby. What do you think? 270 00:16:30,087 --> 00:16:34,046 It's such a proud moment for him, he's speechless. 271 00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:35,162 I can't do this. 272 00:16:35,247 --> 00:16:37,841 Nonsense, old man, it's no trouble to help a friend. 273 00:16:37,927 --> 00:16:39,645 What kind of a setup is this, anyway? 274 00:16:39,727 --> 00:16:42,116 Efficiency. Everything under one roof. 275 00:16:42,207 --> 00:16:44,402 There's our head of personnel and incoming calls. 276 00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:47,797 Allow me to introduce our chief medical examiner. 277 00:16:55,327 --> 00:16:58,444 There's our actuary and expert on life expectancy. 278 00:17:01,247 --> 00:17:03,477 Really tight-knit organization. 279 00:17:03,567 --> 00:17:05,239 - Any suggestions? - Just one. 280 00:17:05,327 --> 00:17:07,795 Would you please take my name off the sign outside? 281 00:17:07,887 --> 00:17:09,400 Now, now, Mr. Digby. 282 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:12,684 You'll never get anywhere being a shrinking violet. 283 00:17:15,447 --> 00:17:16,766 Thank you, Thing. 284 00:17:18,007 --> 00:17:20,475 Hello, Digby Insurance Company. Morticia Addams speaking. 285 00:17:22,567 --> 00:17:26,082 Well, we'd be happy to insure you. 286 00:17:26,167 --> 00:17:29,557 You've been turned down by 17 other insurance companies? 287 00:17:29,647 --> 00:17:31,956 And you're only 96? 288 00:17:32,047 --> 00:17:33,719 Sheer prejudice. 289 00:17:33,807 --> 00:17:35,286 Have someone wheel you over 290 00:17:35,367 --> 00:17:37,881 and we'll give you full coverage. 291 00:17:39,607 --> 00:17:41,199 How is that for bringing in the business? 292 00:17:41,287 --> 00:17:43,642 You'll have every insurance reject in town over here. 293 00:17:43,727 --> 00:17:48,198 Exactly, that's what we're specializing in, the forgotten man. 294 00:17:48,287 --> 00:17:51,802 There's a perfect example, Digby. Would you believe it? 295 00:17:51,887 --> 00:17:53,764 That strapping young fellow has been rejected 296 00:17:53,847 --> 00:17:57,044 by every insurance agency in the country. 297 00:17:58,087 --> 00:17:59,600 How true, Cousin Itt. 298 00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:02,042 And by Canada and South America as well. 299 00:18:02,127 --> 00:18:03,560 And why? 300 00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:06,480 - Maybe he couldn't pass the eye test. - Nonsense! 301 00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:07,716 He merely wears those glasses 302 00:18:07,807 --> 00:18:10,401 so people won't pester him for autographs. 303 00:18:10,487 --> 00:18:13,365 We not only insured him, we made him a member of the staff. 304 00:18:13,447 --> 00:18:16,120 He's in charge of small claims. 305 00:18:19,767 --> 00:18:21,405 Customer. 306 00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:25,522 Mrs. Addams, 307 00:18:25,607 --> 00:18:27,279 would you take care of the gentleman, please? 308 00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:28,686 Yes, Mr. Addams. 309 00:18:32,087 --> 00:18:34,521 Yes, sir, may I help you? 310 00:18:34,607 --> 00:18:37,075 I would like to take out some insurance. 311 00:18:37,167 --> 00:18:41,046 Life, fire, theft or earthquake? 312 00:18:41,127 --> 00:18:43,243 Life. What are your rates? 313 00:18:43,327 --> 00:18:45,238 That depends on what kind of dishes you prefer. 314 00:18:45,327 --> 00:18:47,397 Right! The higher the prices of the dishes, 315 00:18:47,487 --> 00:18:49,443 the lower the premium, or something like that. 316 00:18:49,527 --> 00:18:52,997 If you don't care for dishes, we can arrange to give you a 3% dividend. 317 00:18:53,087 --> 00:18:56,363 Provided you pass the medical exam. Right this way, sir. 318 00:18:58,967 --> 00:19:00,719 Well, Fester. What do you think? 319 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,765 I think with that beard, he needs fire insurance. 320 00:19:03,847 --> 00:19:05,565 Sit down, please. 321 00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:08,556 Now, cough. 322 00:19:09,647 --> 00:19:10,636 Again. 323 00:19:11,647 --> 00:19:13,046 Once more. 324 00:19:14,247 --> 00:19:15,726 You have a bad cough. 325 00:19:15,807 --> 00:19:18,196 - Well, what's the prognosis? - He needs a doctor. 326 00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:19,959 Will the gentleman live? 327 00:19:20,047 --> 00:19:21,275 He has a chance. 328 00:19:21,367 --> 00:19:23,642 Congratulations, sir, you've just passed the medical. 329 00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:25,365 Now, if you'll just step this way, 330 00:19:25,447 --> 00:19:28,439 we'll see about your life expectancy. 331 00:19:35,767 --> 00:19:38,964 Crystal ball, crystal ball, what do you say? 332 00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:42,926 Will he live for 20 years or only a day? 333 00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:51,676 Well, Mama. What do you see? 334 00:19:51,767 --> 00:19:53,644 I see an imposter. 335 00:19:57,727 --> 00:19:59,957 Mr. Henson, what are you doing here? 336 00:20:00,047 --> 00:20:01,639 That's perfectly obvious, Digby. 337 00:20:01,727 --> 00:20:03,718 He's here to spy on our advanced business methods. 338 00:20:03,807 --> 00:20:05,638 Just for that, Mr. Henson, 339 00:20:05,727 --> 00:20:07,319 no dishes. 340 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:10,922 Well, you can keep your dishes and you can keep your policy. 341 00:20:11,007 --> 00:20:12,838 I was a little worried about the competition. 342 00:20:12,927 --> 00:20:17,842 But this? This is absurd. I've got the goods on this whole operation. 343 00:20:17,927 --> 00:20:21,442 And as for you, Digby, I'll have you in jail for 40 years. 344 00:20:21,527 --> 00:20:24,564 Don't worry, Digby. I am also an attorney. We'll fight this to the bitter end. 345 00:20:24,647 --> 00:20:26,683 You are a very lucky man, Mr. Digby. 346 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:30,123 My husband hasn't lost a case in ten years. 347 00:20:30,207 --> 00:20:32,562 Or was that ten days? 348 00:20:32,647 --> 00:20:34,205 I'll have to check my records. 349 00:20:34,287 --> 00:20:35,925 Well, don't bother. 350 00:20:36,007 --> 00:20:38,396 Because you are not going to be the attorney in this case, 351 00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:42,924 you are going to be the defendant. I'll have you and your whole family in jail. 352 00:20:43,007 --> 00:20:44,998 We'd better make a run for it. 353 00:20:46,047 --> 00:20:49,881 Nonsense, Uncle Fester. This is sheer intimidation. 354 00:20:49,967 --> 00:20:52,162 The Better Business Bureau will hear about this. 355 00:20:52,247 --> 00:20:54,761 It certainly will. 356 00:20:56,687 --> 00:20:58,439 Henson, just a moment. 357 00:20:58,527 --> 00:20:59,926 In that case, I'm afraid I'm gonna be forced 358 00:21:00,007 --> 00:21:03,317 to cancel my industrial insurance with your company. 359 00:21:03,407 --> 00:21:05,557 What industrial insurance? 360 00:21:05,647 --> 00:21:07,558 Mangoes Incorporated. 361 00:21:07,647 --> 00:21:09,399 Tapioca Limited. 362 00:21:09,487 --> 00:21:10,715 Crocodiles Unlimited. 363 00:21:10,807 --> 00:21:14,595 Darling, you forgot Amalgamated Swamp and your buzzard farm. 364 00:21:15,887 --> 00:21:18,082 You control all those companies? 365 00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:19,646 Give or take a few. 366 00:21:19,727 --> 00:21:23,083 Wait a minute, if you pull all that business away from me, I'll be ruined. 367 00:21:23,167 --> 00:21:26,443 We could give you a job with Digby Insurance. 368 00:21:26,527 --> 00:21:30,679 After all, this whole thing is just a little bit of a misunderstanding. 369 00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:34,760 I mean, surely there must be something I could do to make up to you. 370 00:21:34,847 --> 00:21:37,042 Well, that depends on Digby here. 371 00:21:37,127 --> 00:21:39,561 All I want is my old job back. 372 00:21:39,647 --> 00:21:43,242 And all we want is a decent replacement for our lovely bear. 373 00:21:43,327 --> 00:21:45,795 It's a deal. 374 00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:49,038 Well, Digby, you're rehired. 375 00:21:49,127 --> 00:21:52,005 Oh, thank you, what's my first assignment? 376 00:21:52,087 --> 00:21:53,076 Alaska! 377 00:21:53,167 --> 00:21:55,556 We're going to get these wonderful people 378 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:59,720 the biggest bear we can bag. 379 00:21:59,807 --> 00:22:02,605 Isn't it marvelous, darling, how people cooperate 380 00:22:03,007 --> 00:22:04,998 once they understand the problem? 381 00:22:12,487 --> 00:22:14,125 You have to hand it to Henson. 382 00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:16,323 He really came through with a beautiful bear. 383 00:22:16,407 --> 00:22:19,285 Yes. It's too bad about his little accident. 384 00:22:19,367 --> 00:22:22,086 Well, you have to watch out for those avalanches in bear country. 385 00:22:22,167 --> 00:22:23,520 Still, he is lucky. 386 00:22:23,607 --> 00:22:25,643 He's in the best hospital in Anchorage. 387 00:22:25,727 --> 00:22:28,446 Gomez, would you come here a second? 388 00:22:28,527 --> 00:22:30,324 Would you help me fix this flamethrower? 389 00:22:30,407 --> 00:22:31,681 What's the problem? 390 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,166 Oh, I don't know. It's stuck. 391 00:22:33,247 --> 00:22:35,317 Okay, you try pushing down the trigger 392 00:22:35,407 --> 00:22:38,797 and I'll look down the barrel and try to see what's wrong. 393 00:22:42,567 --> 00:22:44,205 It's stuck, all right. 394 00:22:44,287 --> 00:22:46,278 Oh, silly me. 395 00:22:46,367 --> 00:22:50,076 I forgot to release it. The safety catch. 396 00:23:07,407 --> 00:23:12,197 Operator, would you get me the Seaside Hospital in Anchorage, Alaska, please? 397 00:23:15,687 --> 00:23:17,405 Hello, Seaside Hospital? 398 00:23:17,487 --> 00:23:20,399 May I speak with Mr. Henson? 399 00:23:20,487 --> 00:23:24,526 Well, can't you take him out of traction long enough to answer the phone? 400 00:23:26,247 --> 00:23:29,603 Mr. Henson? This is Morticia Addams. 401 00:23:29,687 --> 00:23:32,155 I hate to bother you at a time like this, 402 00:23:32,247 --> 00:23:35,444 but I have to report another little accident. 403 00:23:36,527 --> 00:23:37,755 Mr. Henson? 404 00:23:39,607 --> 00:23:41,199 Mr. Henson? 405 00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:45,763 Oh, dear. I am afraid he's had another relapse.