1 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,678 They're creepy and they're kooky 2 00:00:18,767 --> 00:00:20,678 Mysterious and spooky 3 00:00:20,767 --> 00:00:22,598 They're altogether ooky 4 00:00:22,687 --> 00:00:24,405 The Addams family 5 00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:26,438 The house is a museum 6 00:00:26,567 --> 00:00:28,398 When people come to see 'em 7 00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:30,284 They really are a scream 8 00:00:30,367 --> 00:00:32,039 The Addams family 9 00:00:33,247 --> 00:00:34,600 Neat. 10 00:00:34,967 --> 00:00:36,082 Sweet. 11 00:00:38,607 --> 00:00:39,642 Petite. 12 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,684 So get a witch's shawl on 13 00:00:41,767 --> 00:00:43,564 A broomstick you can crawl on 14 00:00:43,647 --> 00:00:45,478 We're gonna pay a call on 15 00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:48,684 The Addams family 16 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:12,520 Marvelous idea, Morticia, putting this old saw together again. 17 00:01:12,687 --> 00:01:15,485 I thought it would be nice for Uncle Fester. 18 00:01:15,887 --> 00:01:18,481 This is fun. Makes me all goose-bumpy. 19 00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:22,282 It's always so exciting seeing how these games turn out. 20 00:01:22,367 --> 00:01:24,835 Just about another foot to go, old man. 21 00:01:27,167 --> 00:01:28,839 Zounds. 22 00:01:29,447 --> 00:01:31,244 - The electricity's gone off. - Sure! 23 00:01:32,047 --> 00:01:34,402 I knew something would spoil it. 24 00:01:34,487 --> 00:01:37,718 Now, now, Uncle Fester, it only missed you by a hair. 25 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:39,240 No matter, I'll get another fuse. 26 00:01:39,327 --> 00:01:44,082 No, forget it. I'm out of the mood now. I'll be up in my tree house. 27 00:01:46,447 --> 00:01:48,961 Gomez, darling, wasn't that the doorbell? 28 00:01:49,047 --> 00:01:52,164 I believe it was. That means the electricity is okay. 29 00:01:52,247 --> 00:01:55,080 It must have been Uncle Fester who blew a fuse. 30 00:01:55,167 --> 00:01:57,476 I'll have Pugsley bring him a fresh one. 31 00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:02,078 Miss Ophelia. 32 00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:07,797 Ophelia, what a surprise. 33 00:02:08,607 --> 00:02:13,362 Oh, dear brother-in-law, you behold the most miserable of women. 34 00:02:13,447 --> 00:02:15,642 Well, you are that. But what happened? 35 00:02:19,087 --> 00:02:21,885 Throckmorton didn't like that. He jilted me. 36 00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:25,323 Montrose didn't like it. Throckmorton didn't like it. 37 00:02:26,487 --> 00:02:28,478 Bunch of spoilsports. 38 00:02:28,807 --> 00:02:31,367 Well, look on the bright side, Ophelia. 39 00:02:32,007 --> 00:02:33,804 Just because you've been jilted once or twice, 40 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,639 it doesn't mean you are unattractive. 41 00:02:35,727 --> 00:02:39,402 You're very attractive, and strong as an ox. 42 00:02:39,687 --> 00:02:43,726 - Hi, Aunt Ophelia. - Oh, Pugsley, this is a tragic day. 43 00:02:43,807 --> 00:02:45,240 What happened? 44 00:02:48,527 --> 00:02:50,279 Throckmorton didn't like that. 45 00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:54,121 Now, Pugsley, you can see why your Aunt Ophelia's heart is broken. 46 00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,038 Her heart and my back. 47 00:02:56,127 --> 00:02:58,004 Ophelia, I thought I heard you. 48 00:02:58,087 --> 00:03:02,160 Oh, Uncle Fester, you behold a most wretched woman. 49 00:03:02,967 --> 00:03:04,400 Say, you do look better. 50 00:03:04,487 --> 00:03:06,079 Ophelia's been jilted. 51 00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:08,681 - Again? - Practically left at the altar. 52 00:03:09,447 --> 00:03:10,766 What happened? 53 00:03:14,687 --> 00:03:16,996 Throckmorton didn't like being judoed. 54 00:03:17,087 --> 00:03:19,726 You sure do have a weakness for weirdoes. 55 00:03:20,207 --> 00:03:22,243 Nobody loves me for myself. 56 00:03:22,807 --> 00:03:24,923 Well, that's understandable. 57 00:03:25,007 --> 00:03:26,565 Have you tried offering money? 58 00:03:26,647 --> 00:03:29,161 But, Father, isn't that undignified? 59 00:03:29,247 --> 00:03:31,715 Very, and besides, it doesn't work. 60 00:03:31,807 --> 00:03:35,482 Oh, cheer up, Aunt Ophelia, you'll make a very nice old maid. 61 00:03:39,127 --> 00:03:42,199 Ophelia, maybe you're a bit too anxious. 62 00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:45,560 Men like their women mysterious, elusive. 63 00:03:45,727 --> 00:03:47,285 That's my type. 64 00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:51,645 I'm afraid I should go upstairs and rest. I just have no more strength. 65 00:03:55,927 --> 00:03:58,122 You see, he only went six feet. 66 00:04:02,487 --> 00:04:04,318 There's no hope for me. 67 00:04:05,927 --> 00:04:07,758 Did I hear my sister Ophelia? 68 00:04:08,607 --> 00:04:11,883 - Who else leaves me black and blue? - Oh, mon cher. 69 00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:15,963 - That's French. - Darling, please, Ophelia first. 70 00:04:16,927 --> 00:04:17,962 I'm next. 71 00:04:19,007 --> 00:04:22,044 Well, I think I'll go work on Ophelia's problem. 72 00:04:23,127 --> 00:04:27,564 Oh, poor Ophelia. She seems destined not to find love. 73 00:04:28,007 --> 00:04:30,123 Perhaps we could find something to divert her. 74 00:04:30,207 --> 00:04:32,277 Some sort of career, perhaps. 75 00:04:32,367 --> 00:04:34,642 Maybe she could go to Japan and take up sumo wrestling. 76 00:04:34,727 --> 00:04:37,605 She tried that. That's how she lost Horatio. 77 00:04:38,287 --> 00:04:41,484 I have it, science. The world needs another Madame Curie. 78 00:04:41,567 --> 00:04:44,559 Excellent! We'll give her a few of Pugsley's chemicals, 79 00:04:44,647 --> 00:04:47,480 and she can mix, mix, mix until she discovers something. 80 00:04:47,567 --> 00:04:49,922 - But what? - I don't know. 81 00:04:50,007 --> 00:04:52,567 Perhaps she could mix herself another man. 82 00:05:03,407 --> 00:05:04,965 I think I'm beginning to get something. 83 00:05:05,047 --> 00:05:08,164 You know, this reminds me of Sir Newton Addams. 84 00:05:08,247 --> 00:05:10,203 When he made his scientific discoveries? 85 00:05:10,287 --> 00:05:12,847 No, when he set his house on fire. 86 00:05:12,927 --> 00:05:15,839 Oh, yes, that was the high point of his career. 87 00:05:15,927 --> 00:05:18,395 - Well, shall we begin? - Right. 88 00:05:18,687 --> 00:05:20,279 - Powder. - Powder. 89 00:05:22,927 --> 00:05:24,679 - Water. - Water. 90 00:05:30,127 --> 00:05:32,766 - Hydrochloric acid. - Hydrochloric acid. 91 00:05:36,527 --> 00:05:39,200 - Tincture of benzoin. - Tincture of benzoin. 92 00:05:41,327 --> 00:05:43,795 - Salicylic acid. - Salicylic acid. 93 00:05:45,007 --> 00:05:48,363 Uncle Fester, you keep giving me the same test tube all the time. 94 00:05:48,447 --> 00:05:51,883 Yeah, I know, I mixed them all together. It saves test tubes. 95 00:05:52,327 --> 00:05:53,806 Very shrewd. 96 00:05:56,207 --> 00:05:59,802 - Now then, the black bottle. - The black bottle. 97 00:06:03,367 --> 00:06:05,835 - The white bottle. - The white bottle. 98 00:06:09,487 --> 00:06:11,842 - The blue bottle. - The blue bottle. 99 00:06:15,407 --> 00:06:17,796 - The green bottle. - The green bottle. 100 00:06:18,447 --> 00:06:20,677 - No, you don't. - Why not? 101 00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:23,522 That's my after-shave lotion. 102 00:06:23,607 --> 00:06:28,362 - Uncle Fester, that's sulfuric acid. - Yeah, I know, it's real tangy. 103 00:06:33,047 --> 00:06:36,244 There's something about a sulfuric acid man. 104 00:06:46,727 --> 00:06:49,764 There's nothing like a quiet afternoon of culture. 105 00:06:50,407 --> 00:06:53,683 Darling, perhaps Ophelia should devote herself to art. 106 00:06:57,487 --> 00:07:00,399 You may be right. Science doesn't seem to be it. 107 00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:01,522 Here it is 3:00. 108 00:07:01,607 --> 00:07:04,519 Ophelia's been up there mixing chemicals for two hours and nothing. 109 00:07:04,607 --> 00:07:07,758 Well, we must be patient with these new scientists. 110 00:07:07,847 --> 00:07:11,396 After all, dear, she hasn't the faintest idea of what she is doing. 111 00:07:13,407 --> 00:07:15,602 See, I think she stumbled onto something. 112 00:07:15,687 --> 00:07:18,599 - Sounds like something big. - I'll go see what it is. 113 00:07:23,327 --> 00:07:25,795 Congratulations, Ophelia. What happened? 114 00:07:25,887 --> 00:07:30,244 I discovered that if I mixed the blue stuff with the green stuff... 115 00:07:30,727 --> 00:07:34,845 Well, science is definitely out. But don't worry, we'll think of something. 116 00:07:34,927 --> 00:07:36,645 There's no hope for me. 117 00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:49,205 'Tis the last rose of summer 118 00:07:49,287 --> 00:07:53,678 That is blooming all alone 119 00:07:54,047 --> 00:07:58,040 That is exquisite, unbelievable. It's this room. 120 00:07:58,167 --> 00:08:00,556 This room of art and beauty. 121 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,764 Ophelia, we've found your career. You could be an opera singer. 122 00:08:03,847 --> 00:08:04,996 Me, an opera singer? 123 00:08:05,087 --> 00:08:07,555 - Well, you'll have to put on a little weight. - Oh, I will, I will. 124 00:08:07,647 --> 00:08:10,684 Yes, your voice will need a little polishing and I know just the right little polish. 125 00:08:10,767 --> 00:08:13,076 - Cousin Itt. - Exactly, I'll go find him. 126 00:08:18,927 --> 00:08:20,280 Oh, Cousin Itt. 127 00:08:23,487 --> 00:08:25,364 - Morticia, I have wonderful news. - What is it, dear? 128 00:08:25,447 --> 00:08:27,119 Ophelia is on a threshold of a new career. 129 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:30,324 I know, she told me all about it. Isn't it exciting? 130 00:08:30,407 --> 00:08:32,796 Certainly is. Cousin Itt! 131 00:08:35,127 --> 00:08:37,800 Itt, now you come down here this minute. 132 00:08:40,047 --> 00:08:43,926 Playful and sneaky, too. My dear, would you mind giving it a try? 133 00:08:44,527 --> 00:08:46,882 Cousin Itt, it's an emergency. 134 00:08:52,127 --> 00:08:55,676 No, Cousin Itt, the house isn't on fire. But we do have another emergency. 135 00:08:55,767 --> 00:08:57,962 Ophelia wants to learn how to sing. 136 00:08:58,327 --> 00:08:59,919 Wait. We need you. 137 00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:03,564 Gomez, darling, are you sure Cousin Itt is our man? 138 00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:07,283 He spent 15 years at the West African Institute for Music. 139 00:09:07,367 --> 00:09:10,006 - Teaching? - Supplying hair for violin bows. 140 00:09:11,367 --> 00:09:13,517 Oh, well, in that case, 141 00:09:13,607 --> 00:09:16,440 Cousin Itt, what do you think sister Ophelia's chances are? 142 00:09:19,287 --> 00:09:20,640 Certainly, you have an opinion? 143 00:09:22,127 --> 00:09:23,845 With lots of hard work. 144 00:09:24,847 --> 00:09:26,678 And serious intense study. 145 00:09:29,087 --> 00:09:30,998 That's your considered opinion? 146 00:09:33,527 --> 00:09:35,006 Well, at least there's hope. 147 00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:38,483 And a true artist lives on hope, as long as he has a strong constitution. 148 00:09:38,567 --> 00:09:42,355 We'll start immediately. I'll have Lurch accompany Ophelia. 149 00:09:47,327 --> 00:09:49,397 Oh, dear, this one's out of order. 150 00:09:49,487 --> 00:09:50,636 No problem. 151 00:09:59,087 --> 00:10:00,315 You rang? 152 00:10:00,407 --> 00:10:03,240 Lurch, how would you like to be Ophelia's accompanist? 153 00:10:05,087 --> 00:10:07,999 Dear Lurch, he's such an enthusiast. 154 00:10:09,047 --> 00:10:10,765 Cousin Itt, take over. 155 00:10:12,167 --> 00:10:15,000 Darling, I think we should leave the music lovers alone. 156 00:10:15,087 --> 00:10:18,716 Lurch will get Ophelia. Let's go to the playroom and read. 157 00:10:19,207 --> 00:10:22,517 I've got a better idea. Let's go to the playroom and play. 158 00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:27,079 - Hang onto these. - Thank you, darling. 159 00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:29,995 Now, it's really quite simple. 160 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:32,806 When Fester blows the whistle, play starts. 161 00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,718 The first player to get the puck to the opposite wall scores. 162 00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:39,116 Oh, but darling, isn't this supposed to be played on the ice? 163 00:10:39,207 --> 00:10:41,277 - That's too slippery. - Very sensible. 164 00:10:41,367 --> 00:10:43,517 - All right, you two. Are you ready? - Ready. 165 00:10:59,607 --> 00:11:01,837 Gomez, darling, I do believe he's trying to tell us something. 166 00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:03,724 Come now, Fester, speak up. 167 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:08,516 Oh, now, Fester, you can speak more clearly than that. 168 00:11:14,647 --> 00:11:18,879 Oh, my, Ophelia upstairs studying opera, and now this. 169 00:11:18,967 --> 00:11:20,798 We're getting to be quite a musical family. 170 00:11:20,887 --> 00:11:22,923 Either that or he swallowed his whistle. 171 00:11:23,007 --> 00:11:26,124 Uncle Fester, I've warned you about those between-meal snacks. 172 00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:28,880 Querida, how many calories in a whistle? 173 00:11:30,847 --> 00:11:32,565 Well, are you ready? 174 00:11:35,767 --> 00:11:37,359 Now, back to the game. 175 00:11:38,727 --> 00:11:42,003 Gomez, darling, don't you think we should check on Ophelia? 176 00:11:42,087 --> 00:11:44,203 Cousin Itt must have her singing like a bird now. 177 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,039 - A canary? - A vulture. 178 00:11:46,647 --> 00:11:47,966 Dreamer! 179 00:11:50,767 --> 00:11:52,837 We couldn't stand the suspense any longer. 180 00:11:52,927 --> 00:11:54,724 How goes it with our little songbird? 181 00:11:54,807 --> 00:11:57,799 Dear Cousin Itt, he's taught me everything he knows. 182 00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:00,566 Even more? 183 00:12:00,647 --> 00:12:03,320 Generous to a fault. Well, fire away. 184 00:12:20,847 --> 00:12:23,122 By george, he has taught her everything he knows. 185 00:12:23,207 --> 00:12:24,526 Down to the last... 186 00:12:25,647 --> 00:12:29,526 But, Cousin Itt, in opera, don't they sing in Italian? 187 00:12:31,287 --> 00:12:32,845 That was Italian? 188 00:12:39,287 --> 00:12:41,482 Really temperamental, those long hairs. 189 00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:45,799 Oh, dear, just as my career was blossoming, it's nipped in the bud. 190 00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:49,802 Not yet, Ophelia dear, we'll get you another teacher. 191 00:12:49,887 --> 00:12:52,959 I know just the man, Ophelia. Signor Bellini. 192 00:12:53,047 --> 00:12:55,163 Darling, are you sure he's available for house calls? 193 00:12:55,247 --> 00:12:58,045 Querida, Signor Bellini is an artist. 194 00:12:58,127 --> 00:13:02,086 And artists are always ready to sacrifice for art, if the price is right. 195 00:13:02,167 --> 00:13:04,806 Let's see how much money we have on hand. 196 00:13:12,207 --> 00:13:13,925 You rang? 197 00:13:14,047 --> 00:13:16,277 Now that's what I call functional art. 198 00:13:17,767 --> 00:13:19,917 We're out of petty cash, Lurch. 199 00:13:24,687 --> 00:13:26,200 In the barrel, please. 200 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:31,921 Thank you, Lurch. 201 00:13:32,007 --> 00:13:34,123 More in ice-box. 202 00:13:34,207 --> 00:13:37,085 Good thinking. There's nothing like cold cash. 203 00:13:52,407 --> 00:13:54,363 Stop. Stop, stop! 204 00:13:55,287 --> 00:13:56,959 Is something wrong, Signor Bellini? 205 00:13:57,047 --> 00:13:59,402 No, except that in my 20 years 206 00:13:59,487 --> 00:14:02,320 of coaching the greats, near greats and even ingrates, 207 00:14:02,407 --> 00:14:06,116 I have never heard such squawking, squeaking and screeching 208 00:14:06,207 --> 00:14:07,720 from a human throat. 209 00:14:07,807 --> 00:14:10,924 I have a feeling Signor Bellini isn't too impressed. 210 00:14:11,607 --> 00:14:15,395 Nonsense. These maestros only abuse the students they love. 211 00:14:15,687 --> 00:14:17,245 Shall we try it again, maestro? 212 00:14:17,327 --> 00:14:20,285 Who cares? I've already got ulcers. 213 00:14:27,087 --> 00:14:28,679 Is that better, signor? 214 00:14:30,687 --> 00:14:33,520 Would you like me to show you just how much better? 215 00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:35,643 Yes, Signor Bellini, yes. 216 00:14:40,287 --> 00:14:41,720 Temper. 217 00:14:41,807 --> 00:14:45,197 You're right. I could have broken a perfectly good cane. 218 00:14:46,687 --> 00:14:50,362 He's really a taskmaster. He's trying to bring Ophelia out. 219 00:14:50,447 --> 00:14:53,405 If he ever hits her, they'll have to carry her out. 220 00:14:53,967 --> 00:14:57,084 Signorina Frump, I can't take anymore today. 221 00:14:57,167 --> 00:15:00,603 Tomorrow I come back for another fee... Lesson. 222 00:15:00,687 --> 00:15:03,599 - Just practice. - Which part shall I practice? 223 00:15:03,887 --> 00:15:06,879 Sing them all. All at once, for all I care. 224 00:15:06,967 --> 00:15:08,764 Oh, you mean like this? 225 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,555 Could you do that again? Or didn't I hear what I heard? 226 00:15:24,647 --> 00:15:28,117 Oh, joy to the world, I have charmed my maestro 227 00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:33,157 with my simple triple-stop, double-vibrato vocal harmonium. 228 00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:43,479 A musical miracle. 229 00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:49,241 It's amazing. Beneath all that mediocrity she has hidden talent. 230 00:15:49,327 --> 00:15:51,443 Perhaps we can bring it out. 231 00:15:51,527 --> 00:15:54,280 If she is willing to work, and you're willing to pay. 232 00:15:54,367 --> 00:15:56,085 We'll pay anything. What does she have to do? 233 00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:58,522 First, she must empty her mind of everything. 234 00:15:58,607 --> 00:15:59,642 That should be no problem. 235 00:15:59,727 --> 00:16:03,197 - She must sing day and night. - Day and night? 236 00:16:03,287 --> 00:16:06,484 - Night and day. - Oh, that one she knows. 237 00:16:08,047 --> 00:16:11,323 Starting with scales, she must work five hours a day. 238 00:16:11,607 --> 00:16:14,724 If she cuts out meals and sleep, she can work 25 hours a day. 239 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:18,277 Gomez, darling, aren't there only 24 hours in a day? 240 00:16:18,367 --> 00:16:21,404 By george, you're right. She'll just have to sing faster. 241 00:16:22,447 --> 00:16:25,359 In three months I'll have her ready to audition. 242 00:16:26,607 --> 00:16:28,245 Better make it six. 243 00:16:29,887 --> 00:16:31,843 Morticia, that's French. 244 00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:36,763 - Gomez, darling, we have a guest. - Oh, pardon me. 245 00:16:43,247 --> 00:16:45,078 You rang? 246 00:16:45,167 --> 00:16:47,727 Lurch, would you please show Mr. Bellini the door. 247 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,724 But I'm not ready to go. 248 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:55,880 All right, I'm ready. 249 00:16:56,367 --> 00:16:59,245 I want you also to work on her tremolo. 250 00:16:59,327 --> 00:17:02,876 Oh, we will, we will. I'll put her on a strict diet. 251 00:17:11,887 --> 00:17:15,243 Darling, what an exciting six months it's been. 252 00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:18,285 And in a few moments, our Ophelia will be auditioning 253 00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:21,279 for the great impresario Rudolpho himself. 254 00:17:21,367 --> 00:17:24,882 That reminds me, Uncle Fester, how's Ophelia's throat spray coming? 255 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,641 I think it needs a little splash of ammonia. 256 00:17:31,287 --> 00:17:34,518 The color is getting good. It is sort of a bilious fuchsia. 257 00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:37,879 - There, I think it's done. - Well, we'll know in a moment. 258 00:17:41,647 --> 00:17:44,445 - It's perfect. - Well, got to get it while it's hot. 259 00:17:48,487 --> 00:17:52,002 There you are. Singer's Squirt No. 5. 260 00:17:52,087 --> 00:17:54,157 Thank you, Uncle Fester. 261 00:17:54,327 --> 00:17:59,765 When we spray Ophelia's throat with this, she'll sing like she never sang before. 262 00:18:02,287 --> 00:18:04,881 That must be Signor Bellini and the great Rudolpho. 263 00:18:04,967 --> 00:18:08,084 Quick, Uncle Fester, go upstairs and spray Ophelia. 264 00:18:11,767 --> 00:18:16,283 Signor Bellini and impresario Rudolpho. 265 00:18:23,087 --> 00:18:26,204 Oh, charming, we've heard so much about you. 266 00:18:26,287 --> 00:18:30,803 Yes, I've heard quite a bit about you, too. And until today I didn't believe it. 267 00:18:30,887 --> 00:18:34,323 Let's get on with the audition. What a voice you're going to hear. 268 00:18:34,407 --> 00:18:37,558 Just one moment, Bellini. Impresario, Gomez Addams here. 269 00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:39,519 Now before we bring on the little lady, 270 00:18:39,607 --> 00:18:41,518 there are few details of contract to be settled. 271 00:18:41,607 --> 00:18:43,120 First, she's to have star billing. 272 00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:45,846 Star billing? But I haven't even heard her yet. 273 00:18:45,927 --> 00:18:48,077 Exactly, we can't take any chances. 274 00:18:49,287 --> 00:18:52,882 - We want to see Ophelia's name in lights. - In lights? 275 00:18:53,207 --> 00:18:55,767 Uncle Fester will supply the electricity. 276 00:18:58,047 --> 00:18:59,605 He can make it flicker. 277 00:19:03,607 --> 00:19:08,078 Now, as to money, salary, we're prepared to start modestly. 278 00:19:08,167 --> 00:19:10,442 $10,000 a week plus 90% of the gross. 279 00:19:10,527 --> 00:19:13,678 And, of course, free tickets for every member of the family 280 00:19:13,767 --> 00:19:14,916 at all performances. 281 00:19:15,887 --> 00:19:17,718 Get the girl and let her sing. 282 00:19:17,807 --> 00:19:20,560 In due time, Bellini. Just one more detail to settle. 283 00:19:20,647 --> 00:19:24,162 Impresario, we don't want Ophelia doing any of those tired, old operas 284 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:26,317 by Wagner, Puccini, Verdi. 285 00:19:26,407 --> 00:19:29,683 You see, we feel that a new singer should have a new opera. 286 00:19:29,767 --> 00:19:33,362 Exactly, and with this in mind, my dear Morticia has composed one. 287 00:19:33,527 --> 00:19:36,724 It's a frothy little item entitled Afternoon In A Swamp. 288 00:19:40,887 --> 00:19:44,926 Bellini, if ever I get out of here alive, you won't be. 289 00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:48,925 Thing, may I please have the contracts? Thank you. 290 00:19:49,687 --> 00:19:52,121 Now, if you'll just sign the contract. 291 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:56,242 Signor Gomez, I will not sign anything. 292 00:19:56,327 --> 00:19:58,124 Very well, a handshake is good enough. 293 00:19:58,207 --> 00:20:00,163 Please, humor him. Shake hands. 294 00:20:07,767 --> 00:20:09,837 Here comes my dear sister, Ophelia. 295 00:20:14,287 --> 00:20:16,243 Gentlemen, please be seated. 296 00:20:21,847 --> 00:20:23,485 Play, Signor Lurch. 297 00:20:39,407 --> 00:20:41,363 This is unbelievable. 298 00:20:41,887 --> 00:20:43,445 What have you done to her? 299 00:20:43,527 --> 00:20:46,963 Isn't he the modest one? It's all Signor Bellini's doing. 300 00:20:47,047 --> 00:20:50,403 All we did was spray her throat with Uncle Fester's special atomizer. 301 00:20:50,487 --> 00:20:53,206 You fools! You have melted the nodes on her vocal chord. 302 00:20:53,287 --> 00:20:57,439 Bellini, you are barred from my opera house. 303 00:20:57,527 --> 00:20:58,516 Even with a ticket. 304 00:20:58,607 --> 00:21:01,724 Impresario Rudolpho, you haven't heard my wife's opera. 305 00:21:01,807 --> 00:21:04,037 For that I am grateful. 306 00:21:04,327 --> 00:21:08,115 The prejudice against new music. At least you could hear the finale. 307 00:21:08,407 --> 00:21:09,681 It's truly inspiring. 308 00:21:10,007 --> 00:21:12,475 As the dancers glide through the quicksand, 309 00:21:12,567 --> 00:21:14,683 the chorus swells triumphantly. 310 00:21:14,967 --> 00:21:19,597 And the prima donna sings that lovely aria, Afternoon In A Swamp. 311 00:21:22,647 --> 00:21:25,161 Left him speechless. I knew it would get him. 312 00:21:28,247 --> 00:21:32,365 Hello. Ophelia Frump? Just a minute, I'll see if she... 313 00:21:32,447 --> 00:21:33,436 That's me. 314 00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:37,200 Throckmorton, lover, angel, where are you? 315 00:21:37,687 --> 00:21:39,518 In hiding. Yes, of course. 316 00:21:44,967 --> 00:21:46,480 Bye, bye lover. 317 00:21:48,487 --> 00:21:50,876 I'm sorry. I cannot join the opera. 318 00:21:51,447 --> 00:21:52,436 You can't? 319 00:21:52,527 --> 00:21:57,123 Oh, my dear young lady, this has been a red-letter day for music. 320 00:21:58,167 --> 00:22:00,158 And as for An Afternoon In A Swamp, 321 00:22:01,087 --> 00:22:03,521 this has certainly been one. 322 00:22:04,967 --> 00:22:06,320 I'm sorry, Signor Bellini, 323 00:22:06,647 --> 00:22:09,559 but a woman must place love before her career. 324 00:22:10,007 --> 00:22:12,726 Forget it. I'm just going to take a long walk, 325 00:22:13,367 --> 00:22:15,085 against the traffic lights. 326 00:22:17,607 --> 00:22:19,279 What's all this about love and career? 327 00:22:19,367 --> 00:22:20,880 Throckmorton wants me back. 328 00:22:20,967 --> 00:22:23,959 He says he's sure now that we can be completely compatible. 329 00:22:24,047 --> 00:22:25,765 Oh, what happened? 330 00:22:25,847 --> 00:22:27,883 - He took up judo. - Judo? 331 00:22:27,967 --> 00:22:29,082 This. 332 00:22:41,367 --> 00:22:43,756 - How're we doing? - Perfect score, dear. 333 00:22:44,047 --> 00:22:45,844 You've missed 100 out of 100. 334 00:22:52,607 --> 00:22:54,165 The mail's in. 335 00:22:57,527 --> 00:22:58,926 Thank you, Thing. 336 00:22:59,567 --> 00:23:01,683 Gomez, darling, it's from the Canary Islands. 337 00:23:01,767 --> 00:23:03,723 Strange, we don't know any canaries. 338 00:23:05,287 --> 00:23:08,643 - Oh, it's from my sister Ophelia. - I wonder what she says. 339 00:23:10,327 --> 00:23:12,887 Oh, she says it was all off between her and Throckmorton 340 00:23:12,967 --> 00:23:16,277 - from the very first moment they met. - From the very first moment they met? 341 00:23:16,367 --> 00:23:19,643 He dislocated his shoulder. But she says she's happy. 342 00:23:19,807 --> 00:23:22,367 She's regained her two-part voice and it's lovelier than ever. 343 00:23:22,447 --> 00:23:24,881 - She even sent us a record. - Well, let's give it a listen. 344 00:23:30,847 --> 00:23:34,886 Oh, I'm falling in love 345 00:23:36,287 --> 00:23:38,039 By george, she's done it again. 346 00:23:38,927 --> 00:23:42,237 I must write to her immediately. I have a lovely idea for her next record. 347 00:23:42,327 --> 00:23:43,362 What, cara mia? 348 00:23:43,447 --> 00:23:45,483 The Sextet from Lucia.