1 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,279 So... 2 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,160 What have you got to say for yourself? 3 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,559 I've already said 4 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:33,839 I did not commit the murder. 5 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,999 God... 6 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,599 For God's sake, Brian, 7 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,840 just take Scottish off your CV. 8 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:42,880 Tit. 9 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,599 Right, moving on. 10 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,359 Now, have you seen this? Big news. 11 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:53,319 "A Theatre Company is looking for dynamic talent..." 12 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,839 That's you lot, yeah? 13 00:00:55,840 --> 00:01:00,719 "to join their production for a national tour 14 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,119 "for six months." Ooh! 15 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,959 "Particular focus will be on BAME..." 16 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,879 Your time has finally come, Brian. 17 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,720 Just don't do Scottish. 18 00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:13,359 "and working class." 19 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,199 All o' yer. 20 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,519 Especially you, Tina. You what?! 21 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,799 Oh, come on, Tina, love, who are you kidding? 22 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,679 You're rough as a dog's bollock. 23 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:25,639 For whatever reason - who knows? - working-class people 24 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,440 are in fashion now. 25 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,000 We're like an exotic fruit. 26 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:35,760 So, juice that motherfucker, kids. 27 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,719 Juice it. 28 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,439 Do you know what? 29 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,239 I'm going to call this Siobhan. 30 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,199 Do it, babe. Yeah, I will. 31 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,199 Golden Rose Theatre Company? Hello, Siobhan! 32 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,079 Or... or do people call you, Shiv? 33 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,679 Anyway. 34 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:23,399 I'm just calling about your audition for the touring theatre company. 35 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,159 It... it says that you're looking for working-class actors. 36 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,799 Sorry, love, all the working class slots 'ave gone. 37 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,759 Have you got 'owt else, love? What do you mean? 38 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,439 Disability? 39 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,239 Well, I don't process dairy well, if that counts? 40 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,440 No, love. Are you black, Asian, minority ethnic? 41 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,279 Could I be black? 42 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,159 No, babe. OK. 43 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,679 I'm not black, but I am ginger. 44 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:47,759 No, love. 45 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:51,439 Well, according to Ancestry.com, you can actually trace 46 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:55,159 our family tree all the way back to the foothills of Nicaragua so... 47 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,599 Are you LGBQT? 48 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,399 Well, what is sexuality, Shiv? 49 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,639 I mean, that's up for grabs, in't it, really? 50 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,439 Not on this form, it's not. 51 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,239 Are you care experienced? 52 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,239 Been through the care system? 53 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,119 Yeah... Yeah, I am. I've got that one. 54 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,760 Yes. I have actually been in and out the care system since day dot, Shiv. 55 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,359 For someone who's never gone past the M62, 56 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,199 I'm very well travelled. I've stayed in a lot of places, 57 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,479 and not all of them would get a glowing review 58 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,199 on TripAdvisor, I can tell you that much. 59 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,319 Garstang Estate. Felt more like a holiday camp. 60 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:28,879 All the kids ran riot. 61 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,199 We didn't have to go to school, 62 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,439 and thought the local drug dealer was our uncle. 63 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,800 Uncle Tony! Uncle Tony! All right, cockers! 64 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,239 Then I took a short stay on a farm, 65 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,559 where I became the sole carer of a one-legged chicken named Klaus. 66 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,079 I was given strict instructions 67 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,879 to feed him when he was hungry, talk to him when he was lonely, 68 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,519 and prop him up when he fell over. 69 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,159 It was a political awakening for me, 70 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,640 fighting for the rights of a disabled chicken. 71 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,199 Then Grandma's house. 72 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,759 Not the warmest of welcomes from the host. 73 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,359 I don't want her here. 74 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,959 You're forcing her on me, and it's not fair. 75 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,439 But the decor was intriguing, 76 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,639 and the breakfast authentically northern. 77 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,120 She's going to be just like her mother, I can tell by the ears. 78 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,959 Jan's house. 79 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,799 No concept of personal boundaries. 80 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,119 Would happily chat to me about her difficult divorce 81 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,840 when I was clearly busy. 82 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,879 Maud's house. 83 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,479 Certainly a pet-friendly environment. 84 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:36,880 Perhaps TOO friendly. 85 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,719 OK. Well, you'll need a letter of support from social services, 86 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,719 and then we can secure you an audition. 87 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,239 Oh, that's fantastic. Thank you very much. 88 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,799 Fabulous. 89 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,199 I think I've got an audition. Well done, babe. 90 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:54,559 Do you know what? 91 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,399 I knew having a fucked-up childhood would pay off eventually. 92 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,200 To your fucked-up childhood. Whoo! 93 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:05,280 Ticket number 22 to desk 6, please. 94 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,519 Poor fuckers, social workers. 95 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:11,519 They deal with loads of harrowing stuff, 96 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,839 take shit off everyone and never get a lunch break. 97 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,599 I had loads growing up. 98 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,199 They always look knackered, 99 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,559 love a bloody cardigan 100 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,920 and look like they drink too much red wine mid-week. 101 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,959 My first social worker was called Beakface. She used to take me 102 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,719 on these dinner dates to the chippy 103 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,919 then write up a report about it afterwards. 104 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,119 Like some sort of shit TripAdvisor for troubled kids. 105 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,039 Alma was in a difficult mood. 106 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,879 She would only refer to me as Beakface and threw chips at me 107 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,159 throughout the meal. 108 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:40,799 She told me she didn't like me, 109 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,559 she didn't like her foster parents and she wanted to live on her own. 110 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,679 Do you want a drink to go with them or anything? 111 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,079 I always saw myself in a fully furnished Manhattan apartment. 112 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,519 Never really understood what I was doing in Bolton 113 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,400 with all these twatty bastards. 114 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,199 Good butty? 115 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,679 Sorry. 116 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,279 Hello. Didn't know you were there. 117 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,999 How can I help? 118 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,559 So, er, Debbie, I'm auditioning for a theatre company, 119 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,079 and I've got to prove that I'm care experienced. 120 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,759 So, I just need a letter from you guys, to say, "Yeah, 121 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:15,439 "she was with us, her life were a bit shit, let her in your company." 122 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,679 That sort of thing. Great, yeah. 123 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,519 Good for you, love. Have you got your form? 124 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,280 Yeah. Here you go. 125 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,399 I want to be a famous actress, Debbie. 126 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,679 Do you know, loads of people like me are actors? 127 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,439 Kathy Burke was in care. 128 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,759 Marilyn Monroe was an orphan. 129 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,279 God, I could be Bolton's very own Marilyn. 130 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:37,159 Pierce Brosnan - he was actually fostered by his grandparents. 131 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,800 I could be the next James Bond! 132 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:43,199 We have a lot of information about you here. 133 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,599 Yeah? We could put in a request to get your records posted to you, 134 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,839 if you like? I mean, yeah, go on. 135 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:51,199 I mean, anything about me is always interesting. 136 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,320 I'm my favourite subject, Debbie! 137 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,399 Right. 138 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:10,120 How do you hold yours, Julie? 139 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,719 Thank you, everybody here. I'm overwhelmed. 140 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,599 I can't believe it, erm, three nominations in one night 141 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,319 and a standing ovation. I mean, it's a lot, isn't it? 142 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,519 But, erm, yeah, deserved. 143 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,319 Erm, and, yeah, I'm very grateful. 144 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,239 I-I'd also to thank my ex-boyfriend, actually, 145 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,399 because he cheated on me with essentially a foetus, 146 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:35,159 cos if it wasn't for him providing that kind of "fuck you" feeling, um, 147 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,559 I wouldn't be at the stratosphere that you see me at today. 148 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,520 Oh. 149 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,119 My records are here. 150 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,520 Oh. 151 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,319 I arrived at the flat at 10:40am, 152 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,679 to see Alma looking through the letterbox. 153 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:10,759 Mum's sick. 154 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,519 No visitors today, Beakface. 155 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,159 She told me she was thirsty 156 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,919 and started trying to drink from an empty bottle of cider on the floor. 157 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,999 It was noted that there was no food in the house for her breakfast. 158 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,319 I posted a carton of milk 159 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,439 and a packet of peanuts through the letterbox. 160 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,959 Ta, Beakface. 161 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:29,119 Alma shouted at the dog for defecating in the living room. 162 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,040 Fuck's sake, Benjamin. 163 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:38,799 On the 21st of October, 164 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:42,319 Alma was finally removed from her grandmother's care. 165 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:45,639 Get 'er bloody well out of 'ere, and don't come back. 166 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,119 I'm divorcing you! 167 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,840 Oh, piss off, you old crow. 168 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,599 Alma was added to the child protection register under 169 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,239 the category "gravely at risk". 170 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,439 Alma's behaviour was difficult when meeting her mother. 171 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,799 Alma is not making progress academically. 172 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,079 Several teachers have refused to teach Alma. 173 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,279 Alma, 16, is living independently 174 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,839 and struggling to manage her finances. 175 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,079 Alma is an overactive, oversensitive, 176 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,880 emotionally distressed child. 177 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:15,960 Fucking hell. 178 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,559 But you're OK? 179 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:31,759 I mean, yeah. 180 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:35,759 It's pretty weird having your whole life handed to you in a box, Leanne. 181 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,759 But I'm fine. 182 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,520 I feel weirdly zen about the whole thing, actually. 183 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,280 Ooh, I love THAT. 184 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,959 What the hell is this? 185 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,680 A spatula. Yeah. 186 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,839 It's £1.29. 187 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,319 Er, yeah. 188 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:04,120 It's a 99p shop and this spatula's £1.29. 189 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,759 Do you see where I'm going here? Oh, yeah, you're right. 190 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,800 Not everything's actually 99p. 191 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,759 Well, then, why the FUCK 192 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,600 is it called The 99p Shop, Carl? 193 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,959 It's just a kind of round about figure... 194 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:25,319 No, it's not "a round about figure", it's a lie. 195 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,479 Because you're selling an idea that doesn't really exist. 196 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,159 You think, "Oh, I can get everything I need for 99p." 197 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,119 You feel joy and hope, 198 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,239 and then you realise. 199 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,519 "Aha! This spatula is £1.29! 200 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,559 "I CAN'T get everything I need for the price I've been promised, 201 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,880 "and I'm being fucked, AGAIN." 202 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,759 Er, sorry? 203 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,599 Well, sometimes sorry's not good enough, Carl. 204 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,359 I'm actually just on work experience. 205 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:55,680 How convenient. 206 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:02,599 All right, babe, let's take this, er, spatula and pop it down here 207 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,240 and we'll go this way, OK? 208 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,599 Come on. 209 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,639 Maybe you should chat to your family about these records? 210 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,999 Leanne, I'm fine. I don't think you're fine, babe. 211 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,639 I'm completely fine. 212 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:20,919 THAT was an injustice, Leanne, 213 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:24,200 and I can't stand by and watch injustice happen. 214 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,679 Maybe Leanne's right - 215 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:34,159 perhaps my family CAN bring some solace at this difficult time. 216 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,879 I don't know whether to kill myself or get drunk. 217 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,680 Maybe not. 218 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,799 She's been painting in rehab, now she thinks she's Van Gogh. 219 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,239 Look at my living room. 220 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:45,639 Oh, my God. 221 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,719 I don't know what you're moaning about. 222 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,360 The place needed brightening up. 223 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,799 Oh, for God's sake, Jim. 224 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,199 J... 225 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,239 That's the third thing he's broken. 226 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,799 Look at my porcelain dog. 227 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,999 Decapitated. 228 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,439 Sorry. It's like an art gallery for the paranoid in here. 229 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:09,359 How can I possibly flourish as an artist in this toxic environment? 230 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:10,839 You're not an artist. 231 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,319 You're a drug addict. 232 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:16,359 See? This is how you've always been, you've never supported me. 233 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,360 How dare you?! I've always supported my children. 234 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,159 Mummy, I need an Easter bonnet for school. 235 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,079 Oh, love. 236 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,519 You haven't got the ears for a hat. 237 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,679 Have you seen the centrepiece your mother kindly made for me? 238 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:34,959 What is that? My childhood memoirs. 239 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,239 You see how she uses her painting as a weapon? 240 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,439 Not everything is about YOU, Mother. 241 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,519 Right, everybody, just calm down. 242 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,839 The social worker's coming round any minute to assess us, 243 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:49,639 and we've got to prove that we're a normal, loving family. 244 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,919 How long for? 245 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,320 Ow! 246 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,359 Oh! Oh, for... 247 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,359 He's scared of blood. 248 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,920 Oh... Jim! 249 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,199 Oh, shit, she's here. 250 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,600 Me penis! 251 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,559 I-I'm really sorry, Grandma, 252 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:13,119 but we don't have time to mourn your penis right now. 253 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,440 Put it away. 254 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,119 My God... 255 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,920 Just in the lounge. 256 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,000 Few teething problems but, er... 257 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,199 gen... generally good. 258 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,600 I think. 259 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,520 So, how's it going, Lin? 260 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,440 Shite. 261 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:04,999 What's wrong? 262 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,199 You're just sort of breathing on me. 263 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,639 Oh. 264 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,959 It's quite intense, hot air in my face. 265 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,639 Sort of loud and smelly. 266 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,679 Right, er... 267 00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:18,679 Maybe try breathing less or more to the side. 268 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:19,920 OK. 269 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,559 Ugh! I can't breathe. 270 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,120 I didn't mean hold your breath. 271 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:32,719 I've lost it now. 272 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,120 He's gone. 273 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,559 Have you thought about going to the doctor's? 274 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,399 You might have a sinus obstruction. 275 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,040 Could be affecting your sleep? 276 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,639 Oh, God... Just had Ray Ray on the phone. 277 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,079 She's pissed. 278 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,159 That guy just left a terrible review on the site. 279 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,239 Clients get to write reviews? 280 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,679 For fuck's sake. 281 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:59,599 It was just like having sex with my wife - awful. 282 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,319 Is there anybody who doesn't get to write down what they think of me? 283 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,279 You can't treat clients like that. 284 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,319 It's rude. His breath was rude. 285 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,360 It was like having sex with a pug that'd been on a long walk. 286 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:26,119 Hi! Hello. Do you fancy popping to the pub? 287 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,559 I'd love to, 288 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,279 but I'm with Chris tonight, 289 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,119 and we're a bit tied up, aren't we, love? 290 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,599 No worries. 291 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,800 Bye. 292 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,520 Could you pull in just here? 293 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,120 What is it, love? 294 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,040 Nothing. 295 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,280 Keep going. 296 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,799 Alma is not making progress academically. 297 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,679 Alma reminds me of her mother. Very vindictive. 298 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,039 Alma has a frantic quality about her play. 299 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,319 Alma will struggle. 300 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,199 Alma is defiant. 301 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,239 Fuck this. 302 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,240 Fuck this. 303 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,400 You should've opened your gullet, Steve! 304 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:54,800 Shots on me! 305 00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,480 Girl power! 306 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,119 Girl power! 307 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:07,000 Whoo! Come on! 308 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:20,079 All I'm saying... is I don't have any money right now, 309 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,799 cos I've actually been very charitable myself this evening, 310 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:27,039 but I will have money in the future. 311 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:32,919 So I just need you to temporarily, temporarily, Youseff, 312 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,239 lend me a kebab, huh? 313 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:40,839 And then I'll pay it back, with interest. 314 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,080 No. 315 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,600 Oi! 316 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,479 Put it back! 317 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:13,919 Put the kebab back! 318 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,439 Oi! 319 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:17,360 Bring that kebab back! 320 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,160 Bring that kebab back! 321 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,360 Roger that, over. 322 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,719 Now, don't you start. 323 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,279 Thanks for picking me up. 324 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,479 You bloody nutter. 325 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,359 Well, it takes one to know one. 326 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:46,039 No, look, I'm-I'm glad you called. 327 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,519 Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine. 328 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:52,959 Just, you know, nicked a kebab, chased by the police down the road. 329 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,039 Spent the night in a cell. 330 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:58,639 I couldn't get hold of Leanne, that's why I called you. 331 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,639 Well, I'm always here for you, you know. 332 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,360 Thanks. 333 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,719 What are you doing? 334 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,399 Well, I just thought, like, you know? 335 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,080 Well, you thought wrong. 336 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,119 Just take me home. All right. 337 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,960 Cool your jets. Jesus. 338 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,679 Alma is rude, disruptive and verbally abusive 339 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,159 in class. Alma is an overactive child. 340 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,920 Alma's life to date leaves very little hope for her future. 341 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:02,479 I could hold my breath 342 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:46,440 Hello? Alma? 343 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,000 You left the door on the latch. 344 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,960 Oh. 345 00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,760 Fucking hell, Alma, what happened here? 346 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:06,400 Just a bit of feng shui. Right. 347 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,479 And arrested? Over kebab meat? 348 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:10,879 What the fuck, Alma? 349 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,639 Nothing gets past you, does it? 350 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,999 Bill's sister's cousin's mate's shagging her best mate's boyfriend, 351 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,479 who knew the bobby who arrested you, who apparently actually 352 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,120 recognised you from Lesley's baby's christening two years ago. 353 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,359 Right. 354 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,319 These your records, then? 355 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:29,719 Yeah. Well, maybe we can have a look at them together? 356 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,319 Why? 357 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,840 Well, I'd like to actually know what led to you becoming a felon. 358 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,320 I just really wanted a kebab. 359 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,319 Do you know what's mad about these? 360 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,159 Right, they write some proper dark stuff, 361 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:49,039 and then they just follow it up, with, like, a dead obvious aside. 362 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,519 Like this one. Listen. 363 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,239 "Mental-health social worker..." I think that says "Colin", 364 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,039 it's redacted. 365 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,759 "arrived at Miss Nuthall's 366 00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,599 "and was confronted by a bearded man waving a hammer." 367 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,959 I mean, poor fucking Colin, to be fair. 368 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,999 He defo got the shit stick at work that day. 369 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,559 "Colin found Lin in a corner of a room, distressed, screaming 370 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,239 "and talking to people who were not present in the room." 371 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,559 Then, it says, 372 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,839 "She was also drunk." 373 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,679 By the time you're sort of grappling with the devil and screaming 374 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,799 at the walls, whether you're pissed or not is surely irrelevant. 375 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,879 Alma... I know. 376 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:26,240 Look at this here, psychology assessment, right? 377 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:28,719 I mean, 378 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:32,039 "The level of neglect Alma has suffered is already presenting 379 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,959 "itself in Alma's chaotic attachment style and low self-esteem. 380 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,319 "This could cause more problems for Alma later in life." 381 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,160 That's like some sort of shit Mystic Meg, isn't it? 382 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,039 Do you know, I've always thought, if I can't be normal, 383 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,839 then I'll at least be fabulous. You know, I'll become a star, or, 384 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,159 you know, I'll do something to make it all worthwhile? 385 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:53,839 I'll recycle it all. 386 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:58,639 But then you read these and you just feel completely hopeless 387 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,240 and fucked. 388 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,879 They're bullshit, Alma. 389 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,959 They don't take into account any of your actual personality. 390 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,959 They don't mention how fun you are. 391 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,479 You're the only person in the world I like to get rat arsed with. 392 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,440 Yeah. Fuck these fucking records. 393 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,199 Where you off? 394 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,159 Oh! Fuck 'em. 395 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:28,239 Hey... Woo, yeah, fuck 'em, actually! Yeah, fuck 'em! 396 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,520 Fuck 'em! Woo! 397 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,679 Woo! Oh, no shit. No, Edna. 398 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,400 She'll have coronary if she reads those. Quick. 399 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,599 Now, I know you've got your auditions tomorrow, 400 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:46,319 so for today, class, were goin' for t'look at this book 401 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,679 in your lap. It's by a bloke from Russia who came up wi' summat big 402 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,039 for actors back in t'day. 403 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,639 It's called Effective Memory - 404 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,160 Emotional Recall. 405 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:04,039 Now, what that is, is an actor, using their own life and emotional 406 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:09,439 memories to activate the emotions of their fictional character. 407 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,999 So, for example... 408 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:16,879 I might be playing a scene where I'm a widower. 409 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,559 Now, I've never had a wife, 410 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,600 but I once lost a dog. 411 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,840 I don't mean on t'park, I mean... 412 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,120 lost the dog. Dead. 413 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,799 So what I have to do, when I'm in that scene, 414 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:38,999 is try and remember how that felt when Ralp... Sorry. 415 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,719 See, it's working. 416 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,960 .. when Ralph... when Ralph died. 417 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,959 And then those memories, those emotions 418 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,520 will help me play the grieving husband. 419 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:52,880 Do you get me? 420 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,519 Now, Lesley, you've talked at great length 421 00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:58,839 about your pelvic floor dysfunction. 422 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,879 Use that discomfort, 423 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,480 use that shame. 424 00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,039 Glen, let's be honest, 425 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,319 you've pickled that fatty liver of yours with booze 426 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:13,160 ever since your wife left ya. Use that despair. 427 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,200 Mephistopheles said he would not fight the battle. 428 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,840 And so I will. 429 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,639 Thank you. 430 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,999 That was fantastic. A really smashing performance, Alma. 431 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,999 Thank you. So, it says in your application 432 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,919 that you're a care leaver. 433 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,399 Er, yeah. I just got my records back recently, actually. 434 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,680 Really? And how was that for you? 435 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:48,679 Not great, er, one social worker described me as overactive, 436 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:52,279 oversensitive and emotionally distressed, so not fab, 437 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,839 to be honest. But, do you know, I've decided that just means 438 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:59,319 that I've got a lot of energy, empathy and emotional range. 439 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:04,639 I've... I've certainly got a lot of effective memory to draw from. 440 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,959 I'd agree with that. As it happens, 441 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,799 I'm a care leaver too, 442 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,039 and, you know, I've always felt 443 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:15,279 us care experienced folk have got something special. 444 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:20,039 We've navigated extreme circumstances with complex traumas, 445 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,720 and gained skills and wisdom beyond our years. 446 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:32,480 We have a huge capacity to love, and, er, to heal and, um, empathise. 447 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,880 And I see that in you, Alma. 448 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,599 Thank you. Do you know, I see it in myself. 449 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:41,960 I'm very wise. 450 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,879 You know in... in a normal way, not showing-off way. 451 00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:58,159 Look, we don't normally do this, but your audition was truly brilliant, 452 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,560 and we'd like to offer you a place. 453 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:02,919 Oh, my God! 454 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:04,319 Oh, my God, really? 455 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:05,759 Oh, my fucking God. 456 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:07,599 Oh, fuck you - I mean, thank you. 457 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,879 Fucking hell, yes! Woo! 458 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,879 And I'll just... I'll see you. 459 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,720 I don't know when, but, whoo! 460 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,599 If I could tell that little girl in my records anything, 461 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:28,199 I'd tell her you're gonna be fine, you're gonna be more than fine. 462 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,440 You're gonna be fucking fabulous, love.