- Jake here's the man. - Hey, hey, hey!
- lt's an honour, man - The honour's all mine.
- l've heard about you. - Thank you.
- What was it you worked on? - ''Anal Adventure''.
- Who could forget? - l haven't seen it yet.
Let me introduce you to your co-star, Tina.
- Hi. - Oh, Tin-a!
- Thank you! - Am l taking care of you or what?
- l've heard so much about you. - We're gonna be great together, l know.
Yeah, Felony Cock - my God!
- The man! - Yeah, man!
- Let's go through what we're doing. - OK.
You'll be in the shower, right - door open, steam pouring out.
You'll come through, she's cleaning, you'll see her from behind.
You'll take her over there and have her every which way -
bit of A, bit of O, bit of CC and then you're gonna spurt all...
Wait, wait, wait, you mean you see me naked?
- Yeah. - With my clothes off?
- Yeah! - No, l don't think so.
You don't what?
- l don't take my clothes off in my movies. - l didn't...
This is a fucking porn film!
- l know, but l feel uncomfortable. - We want you to be comfortable.
- ls it me? - No, we'll be wonderful together,
l just don't wanna work that way - no piss play, no DP, no S&M,
no B&D, l just don't work that way.
- l'm uneasy with all this bare flesh. - l'm sorry about this.
This is a goddamn porn film!
You want a hard on? l'll give you a hard on, but you're not seeing my hard on.
- l want my audience to have a hard on. - They will if it's more real.
Who's gonna believe that this maid comes into my room,
and l have sex with a beautiful young woman? Who's gonna believe that crap?
- Anyone that's watched other films. - Man, don't you read your own script?
l'm struggling with a relationship with my wife - why would l jeopardise that?
We gotta find a reality - gimme a reason, gimme a need.
- The script needs some tweaks. - Tweaks?!
What do you suggest?
We have to find some kind of reality in our relationship.
- She's a maid, right? - Yeah.
Um, so, um...
maybe it's, um, a.....
- a clean... thing, a cleaning thing. - Cleaning.
- Cleaning, l can... - Yeah, yeah, go, go.
So maybe you've got this um, this... thing about cleaning.
- A need for cleaning, a need. - A fetish, a need.
A strong need. Not a fetish, why do you have to make it dirty?
- lt's an emotional need. He's in pain. - OK, but he likes it, huh?
Yes, he gets enjoyment from it - it's solving his pain problem.
He has a problem with his wife. That's how we work.
- Find the pain for the character. Go. - Right, OK, so...
...he's found his centre of pain in his shower and... he cleans it, right?
l'm cleaning in there...
And she's cleaning his centre of pain in here.
This gets at the essence of eroticism, if you'll pardon the expression.
- Yeah. - Right.
We're bonding, we're bonding, right, from mutual need.
What's going on in your past life, honey? What's your centre of pain?
What's your need to do this cleaning? Have you thought about that?
- And then we come together, you see? - Right.
OK, well, let's um, James, shall we try and shoot it that way?
Yeah? Great.
- All right. - OK.
- lt's your money, boss. - You betcha.
- OK. - Come on, everyone.
Room service. Oh, l didn't see you there, Mr Cocker.
That's all right, this room could use a clean.
- Let me make it extra nice for you. - OK, don't mind me, l'll shut the door.
Make sure you empty the waste basket.
OK.
Now get the vacuum cleaner out of the closet.
Good.
OK, it's going on.
Um...
um, basically, he's just... getting her to clean the room.
Yeah.
We can cut out some of the cleaning and edit in some stock sex footage.
Great!
lf you think it's necessary. l don't.
- No? - Do you?
- No, no. - All right then.
There we go. Nice, sweetheart, a-ha!
Here's the man, yes! You gorgeous hunk of manhood. Oh, yes! You were terrific.
Did we get a scene or we get a scene and is this room clean or is it clean?
lt's clean.
Could we do another take? She missed a spot. l'm sorry, honey, it's me.
- Have you got film? - Sure.
- Do you mind? - OK, everyone, let's do one more.