1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.SubtitleDB.org today 2 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:28,677 (WOMAN SPEAKING ON PA IN SPANISH) 3 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:39,319 - Oh, that is lovely. - You're very welcome. 4 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,913 - Another satisfied customer. - Oh yeah. 5 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,317 Who else have you been rubbing with suncream? 6 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,193 That's for me to know and you to find out. 7 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,513 - It's a joke. - Yeah. 8 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,711 Like your dodgy claim for disability. 9 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,831 That was for you to know and the DSS to find out 10 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,109 and they bloody did, didn't they? 11 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:02,199 Yeah. well, it's all sorted now. Not a care in the world. 12 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,995 Not a care in the world. We're up to our eyeballs in debt. 13 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,679 We've got an 8 year old with ADD 14 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,030 and a 17 year old with a 9-month-old baby. 15 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,879 Yeah. well, that's the beauty of a holiday in the sun, isn't it? 16 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,389 Forget all your cares and worries. 17 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:19,032 Like these two. Black and white minstrels. 18 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,436 Look at the state of them. They couldn't give a shit. 19 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:25,076 - Don't you go upsetting him today. - Don't go upsetting him? 20 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,272 He could have an argument in a phone box with no money, that one. 21 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,277 Mind you, he has paid for this holiday. 22 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,030 - Oh, Christ. And don't we know about it. - A bit of gratitude wouldn't go amiss. 23 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:37,835 - He nearly died in that pool yesterday. - And whose fault was that? 24 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:41,999 Nobody told him to have a diving competition with Fatty Arbuckle. 25 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,151 Anyway, it was me that gave him the kiss of life. 26 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,999 I know. It's no wonder he looks so ill. 27 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:51,954 Hiya, mam. 28 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,879 (MADGE GRUNTING) 29 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,916 Hiya, Mel. How are you feeling? 30 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,834 - Lucky to be alive. - Yeah. 31 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:03,316 But I'd rather not talk about it if it's all the same to you. 32 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,351 We had a terrible night. 33 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,958 Madge ran me a bath and I started having flashbacks. 34 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,720 I think it were the sound of the water. 35 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,469 But to be honest, I'd rather not talk about it. 36 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,637 Probably best if you don't. 37 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,355 Doing the old karaoke tonight, Mel? 38 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:25,270 Its terrible when your whole life flashes in front of you like that. 39 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:29,359 I couldn't even see it properly because I didn't have me glasses on. 40 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,233 Still, I'd rather just forget about it if it's all the same to you. 41 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,636 Yeah. We could deal with that no problem. 42 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:35,875 Can I get you a drink, Mel? 43 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,675 I can still feel the chlorine in the water ravaging me eyes. 44 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,518 Oh, for fuck's sake. 45 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,958 What's wrong with him? 46 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,393 Oh, we knew you'd be back, the pair of you. Didn't we, Jacqueline? 47 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:52,954 Oh yes. 48 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,640 Well, actually it's a belated honeymoon. 49 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,353 Oh, lovely. 50 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,120 'Cause this is where you proposed, isn't it? 51 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,709 Yes. We've returned to the scene of the crime. 52 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,990 - How romantic. - Yeah. 53 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,794 Plus 160 quid all inclusive for a week. 54 00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:10,116 - Cost more to stay at home. - Oh, exactly. 55 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,870 We've got a friend at our sauna, Big Donna, 56 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,197 she's been banned from most of the all-you-can-eat restaurants 57 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,358 - in our area, isn't she? - She's a big girl. 58 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:21,993 But she comes to Benidorm 59 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,680 and they just let her get on with it here, don't they? 60 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:25,995 It's buffet heaven. 61 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,475 She even got caught smuggling pancake rolls 62 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,673 in her knickers from Mr Woo's, but they just gave her a doggie bag. 63 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,117 It's as if we never left. 64 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:44,679 (COOLIO CRYING) 65 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,996 No wonder he's crying. You're shaking him too much. 66 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,794 - You're gonna make him puke. - Michael, I won't tell you again. 67 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,355 - He's giving me a headache. - Well, go somewhere else then. 68 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:56,110 - I wanna stay with you. - Then stop asking stupid questions. 69 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:59,233 - Why did you have a baby? - What've I just said to you? 70 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:03,069 Well, that's not a stupid question. Why did you have a baby? 71 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,432 Because I just did. 72 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,271 Do you think nana and Mel will have a baby? 73 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,119 - No, I don't. - Why not? 74 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,151 Because they're too old. 75 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,839 - I wish they would have one. - Why? 76 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:21,794 Because then we'd have a brown baby and an orange one as well. 77 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,031 Oh, hello there. What's wrong with you? 78 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:34,237 - Can I pick him up? - Yeah. 79 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:43,520 - Do you want to look after him tonight? - Hello. My name's Kate. 80 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,790 Hiya. Do you wanna look after him tonight? 81 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,991 Do you really think it's wise to be asking someone you don't know 82 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,236 -to babysit for you? - Well, I know who you are. 83 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,113 You were here last year when our Michael dropped a log in the pool. 84 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,355 Sorry. 85 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,795 - What's your baby's name? - Coolio. 86 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,791 - Coolio? - After the rapper. 87 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,759 Oh, I see. 88 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,350 -I don't think I know any of his songs. - Gangsta's Paradise? 89 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,436 Sticky Fingers? Ugly Bitches? 90 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,230 91 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,479 - Hiya. 92 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,273 Just spoken to the hotel in Altea 93 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,789 and they said they might be able to have us back tomorrow. 94 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,355 So it looks like we're stuck here for a bit longer. 95 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,357 Well, at least tonight. 96 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,320 I'm sure we can find something to do. 97 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,192 You're all right, mam, on that scooter? We can find you another sunbed. 98 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,950 I'm all right on here, thank you. Got everything I need here. 99 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:57,309 (CHOKING) 100 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,273 You all right, Mel? 101 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,039 I'll survive. 102 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,039 Might be nice for Mel to use the wheelchair for a couple of days 103 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,436 while he's not feeling too good. 104 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,836 Dick-A-Dum-Dum or Great Balls of Fire? 105 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,076 - You what? - Karaoke for tonight. 106 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,476 Here we are. Fill your boots. 107 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,910 I might have a crack at Wuthering Heights. 108 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,031 Yeah. I'll look forward to that. 109 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,958 Hey, you and Telle should do a duet. 110 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,515 What about Ebony and Ivory? 111 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:26,790 Why don't we have a nice night in together? 112 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,433 You should be taking it easy. 113 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,279 What, with karaoke on the go? No danger. 114 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:35,031 Here we are, Madge. This round's on me. 115 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,310 I think you'll find the drinks are on Mel. 116 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,953 It's all-inclusive. 117 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,832 I had little change from 900 quid for this holiday. 118 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,713 - Not that I've had much thanks for it. - What's that you're talking about? 119 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:47,117 Me saving your life yesterday? Oh no. Don't mention it. 120 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,514 Cheers, Mel. 121 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,358 Oh, you won't get any thanks out of that one. 122 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:51,800 I just said “thank you". 123 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:56,039 I've never understood that selfish, ungrateful streak in my kids. 124 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,720 I said "thank you". 125 00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:01,151 When she was a child, she used to eat her sweets on the toilet 126 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:02,953 so she didn't have to share them with anyone. 127 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,276 Now, do you actually believe this stuff yourself, mother, 128 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,392 or you just enjoy making it up as you go along? 129 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,110 Hiya. 130 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,399 What do you want? 131 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,750 Just wanted to see if you were all right after yesterday. 132 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,917 I'm fine, no thanks to you. 133 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,398 - I beg your pardon? - You heard me. 134 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,158 If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have banged me head 135 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,352 -on the bottom of the pool. - How do you work that out? 136 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,791 You've done enough damage. Why can't you leave the man in peace? 137 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:33,675 - Leave him in peace? - It's idiots like you get people killed. 138 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,789 Who are you calling an idiot, you dickhead? 139 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:41,471 - All right, ladies. That's enough. - Dickhead? Dickhead? 140 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,954 You can't talk to me like that. My father fell at Normandy. 141 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,152 I don't care if he went arse over tit in Scunthorpe, you're a dickhead. 142 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,714 Can we just all calm down? 143 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,593 Think yourself lucky. You should be up for attempted murder. 144 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,631 - Fuck off. - Right, that's it. 145 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:56,319 - Mel. - Come here. 146 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,754 See you mum's coming. 147 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,678 JANICE: Mel, what are you doing? Sit down... 148 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,679 MEL: Come on. Come on. Come on now, boy. 149 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,719 (SQUABBLING) 150 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,598 Break it up. Break it up now. 151 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,030 You, fat boy. You caused problems here before. 152 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:20,754 - I remember. Hup! - Yeah. Yeah. 153 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,631 Well, keep away from me. Did you hear? 154 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,876 -(SHOUTS IN ANGER) Keep away. - On yer bike. 155 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,435 And that goes for Touché Turtle in the wheelchair an'all. 156 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,359 - Go. Go with your mommy. - I'm going. 157 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:32,754 Dickheads. 158 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,635 Who the freak's Touché Turtle? 159 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:52,635 - (SCREAMS) - Shut up! 160 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,394 Martin, turn the television off. We can't have that on with a baby here. 161 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,557 Why not? He might like it. 162 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,599 Martin, please don't try to be funny. It's very tiring. 163 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:12,553 And close the balcony door. There's a draught. 164 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,433 (COOLIO CRYING) 165 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,957 That'll be the baby then. 166 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,075 And put some proper shoes on. 167 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,039 Hello. Come in. 168 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,590 Hiya. Right. It's got a bottle in the front pocket. 169 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,996 If that runs out, there's some powdered stuff in the bag. 170 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,157 He's got two dummies in the side zip pocket. 171 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,556 If you drop them on the floor, put them in boiling water. 172 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:47,479 If he cries, he's got a teething ring in the inside pocket. 173 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,514 I shouldn't be too late. Wet wipes are in the bottom of the bag. 174 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,229 - Hiya. - Right. 175 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:56,912 - Okay. - Anything else? 176 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,474 No. That's it. 177 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:02,992 Oh, and I think he might need changing. Thanks a lot. I'll see you later. 178 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,872 Is it all right to open the balcony door again? 179 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,554 - How's your chicken, mam? - A bit bland. 180 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,274 I wish I'd gone for the beef curtains. 181 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,760 Beef medallions, mam. Do you mind? 182 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,599 - Beef curtains. - You knew what she meant. 183 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:44,671 Oh, Jesus. Who needs cabaret with your mother sat there? 184 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,713 - Shut up. - Hiya, love. Did you have him sorted? 185 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,592 Yeah. They were dead chuffed to have him. 186 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,030 Oh lovely. It's only for a couple of hours, isn't it? 187 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,231 Yeah. Where's Mel? 188 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,799 He'll be here soon. He was getting changed. 189 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:02,158 - Does Mel like beef curtains, Madge? - Will you pack it in? 190 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:05,557 - What are beef curtains? - Now look what you've done. 191 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,233 Oh, my God. 192 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,916 Everyone all right for drinks? 193 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,191 Vodka and orange, Madge? 194 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,594 195 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,631 No, I'm fine. Thank you. 196 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,113 Back in a minute. 197 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,795 Jesus, looks like we're getting cabaret after all. 198 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:48,558 Well, hello Saturday Night Fever. 199 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,557 Is that the bloke who was wearing a thong yesterday? 200 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:52,717 Yes. Quite a natty dresser. 201 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,429 I've got a swimsuit with a thong. 202 00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:56,834 It's very summery, 203 00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:00,271 but it can ride up a bit, if you know what I mean. 204 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,830 Excuse me, could you cancel my order for the blancmange? 205 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:16,109 # Supermart... dig it in the fast lane 206 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:20,916 # Listen to the countdown They're playing our song again 207 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,350 # I can't get, Jumpin' Jack Just wanna hold, Get Back 208 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,517 # Moonlight Muzak Knick knack, paddywhack 209 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,517 #Talk about Pop Muzik# 210 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,470 - He won't stop. - Yes. I have noticed. 211 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:40,159 Well, don't just stand there. Do something. 212 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,436 - What on earth are you doing? - I'm dancing. 213 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:02,440 Why on earth do you think a nine-month-old baby would want... 214 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,514 He likes it. 215 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,313 (COOLIO CRYING) 216 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,033 Well, don't stop. 217 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,958 (COOLIO LAUGHING) 218 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,957 # Talk about Pop Muzik 219 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,356 #Talk about Pop Muzik# 220 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,598 What is he wearing? 221 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,393 # Everybody made it # 222 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,955 I suppose you could say he's made an effort. 223 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,037 You should try it sometime. 224 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:42,878 Not if I end up looking like that. 225 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,196 # Moonlight Muzak Knick knack, paddywhack 226 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,709 # Talk about Pop Muzik 227 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,354 #Talk about Pop Muzik# 228 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:53,791 I mean, he's actually not a bad mover. 229 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,833 # It's all around you # 230 00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:00,430 Right. It might help us if you define the word "bad". 231 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:03,234 # Munich, everybody talk about Pop Muzik 232 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,317 # Talk about Pop Muzik 233 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,636 # Talk about Pop Muzik 234 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,434 # Pop, Pop, Pop Muzik, Pop # 235 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:13,473 He's quite sexy in some ways, isn't he? 236 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,352 # Talk about # 237 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,074 I'm sorry. Are we all looking at the same thing? 238 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:22,353 Don't get me wrong. He's not conventionally attractive, 239 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:27,395 but I have been known to go for some unusual types in my time. 240 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,791 You don't say. 241 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,160 # Loud and clear # 242 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,155 (MARTIN PANTING) 243 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,874 I'm getting tired. Can you take over? 244 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,799 -I can't do that. - Of course you can. 245 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,638 It's all in the hips. 246 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:02,995 Ready? 247 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,679 It's no good. He likes it when you dance. 248 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,272 Martin, what are you doing? Martin, don't pick him up. 249 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,198 He liked your dancing. 250 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,158 It's not your dancing. 251 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,159 He likes you. 252 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,872 # I'm on the hitline goin' home 253 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,470 # Oh no # 254 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,073 (AUDIENCE WHISTLING) 255 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,759 Thank you. 256 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,994 Thank you. Thank you. 257 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:54,960 Nailed it. 258 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:57,994 Nailed it. 259 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,878 You're my oxygen. 260 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,596 There you go. That's Geoff with Pop Muzik. 261 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:12,111 Cracking straight on we've got Mel singing Lonely Girl. 262 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,311 Let's hear it for him. Yaaah! 263 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,832 MAN: All right, Mel. 264 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,953 Come on, Mel. 265 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,074 Mel! 266 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:26,918 Thank you very much. 267 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,829 I'd like to dedicate this to a very special lady, 268 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:36,636 who over the last few weeks has made me feel like a very special man. 269 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:41,675 Madge. 270 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:55,593 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) # Hey there, lonely girl 271 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:59,315 # Lonely girl 272 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:03,877 # Let me make your broken heart like new 273 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:10,518 # Hey there, lonely girl 274 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:14,679 # Lonely girl 275 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:19,431 # Don't you know this lonely boy loves you 276 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:27,473 # Ever since he broke your heart 277 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:32,155 # You seem so lost 278 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:36,554 # Each time you pass my way 279 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:42,478 # Oh how I long to take your hand 280 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:47,110 # And say "Don't cry" 281 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:51,319 # "I'll kiss your tears away" 282 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,796 # Hey, lonely girl 283 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:03,231 # Lonely girl # 284 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:04,953 It's not natural. 285 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:09,151 Well, at least it's in tune, sort of. 286 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:10,873 I think his thong might be a bit too tight. 287 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,355 You don't think he put yours on by mistake, do you, Madge? 288 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:17,360 # This lonely boy loves you # 289 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,437 I'm sorry to interrupt, 290 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,439 but I just wanted to apologise for my son 291 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,949 having a go at your husband today. 292 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:29,358 Oh, he's not me husband. He's... He's just a friend. 293 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:33,235 Well, an acquaintance really. I hardly know him. 294 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:37,558 Oh, right. I just didn't want it to spoil your holiday. 295 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:40,240 No, don't be daft. It were just a misunderstanding. 296 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:43,318 Well, he can get a bit out of control 297 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,432 When he was little, he had one of them leather crash helmets, 298 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,439 you know, to stop him nutting the wall. 299 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,676 But it don't fit him any more. 300 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,350 Well, they grow so fast, don't they? 301 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,879 Bye, bye. 302 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,992 # Lonely girl 303 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:05,511 # Don't you know this lonely boy loves you # 304 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,318 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 305 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,595 Thank you. Just before I hand the mic back, 306 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,678 there's a small announcement I'd like to make. 307 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,949 As some of you know, yesterday I had an accident in the pool, 308 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,071 which nearly took my life. 309 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,198 It's times like this that make you realise 310 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:52,632 that life is not a rehearsal. This is it. 311 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,994 And, yes, I've made a success of my life. 312 00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:58,999 I've got five sunbed shops in Manchester. 313 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,873 But I think it was Charles Manson who said, 314 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:06,358 "You're not living life to the full if you're living it alone.” 315 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,436 I know, my late wife, Nerys, 316 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:15,718 who died in a crazy paving accident in 1979, 317 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:19,117 will be smiling down on me now, as I say, 318 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,749 Madge Delilah Barron... 319 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:26,998 Will you marry me? 320 00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:29,519 Fucking hell! 321 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,435 Yes. 322 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,991 Yes. I'll marry yer. 323 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,590 (PEOPLE WHISTLING AND WHOOPING) 324 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:13,151 Mel, what are you doing? What are you doing? 325 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,191 Oh, Jesus. Mick! Mick! 326 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,596 - What are you doing? - MICK: Mel, don't... 326 00:21:18,305 --> 00:21:24,481 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.SubtitleDB.org