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Morning! Oh, morning!
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Have you recovered? Recovered?
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From last night! Your Geoff...
He got a bit upset.
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Did he? Don't you remember?
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You mean the quiz. Oh, you know
how competitive he gets.
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No. That wasn't him upset.
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He once met the bloke
who sets The Times crossword,
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and he threw him under a bus!
Threw him under a bus?!
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Was it moving?
Well, his wife got a bit teary.
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No! I meant, was the bus moving?
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Oh, no. It were in
the York Transport Museum.
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He's not a psychopath.
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Er... How's Ronald?
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Ronald? Your husband!
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Oh! You mean Donald! That's it.
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He's fine. He's on holiday in France.
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Oh! We're nearly out of sunscreen.
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What side do you want your towel?
Oh, I can't lie down on there.
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I think I'll get some breakfast.
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My back's in absolute agony
after last night.
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Morning.
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Morning!
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Who's that?
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Oh, that's Glynn. Donald's
on holiday with his wife, Rhiannon.
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Oh, I see!
So, you've done, like, a swap.
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Yeah. Just for a week, you know!
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He didn't look very happy about it.
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Well, I think he's a bit bored,
sitting round the pool.
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He's a very physical man.
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Is he, now?
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Oh, yes! Right!
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I'd better get something hot
inside me.
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Glynn says
he's gonna run me ragged today!
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Oh! Good luck! See ya.
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Go away!
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Housekeeping!
What are you doing? I said go away!
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Well, I thought we needed
a breakfast meeting.
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So I brought a selection of cereals,
a jug of juice and two full English.
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I don't want all that! That's for
me. Liam's brought you a croissant.
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No butter! We know
you're watching your figure!
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00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,880
How dare you burst in here?
I could've been naked! Don't worry.
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00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:10,880
Liam looks 12, but he's seen it all
before, haven't you, love? Well...
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The doctor says you're doing OK,
but he needs to know
what was in that injection.
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I'm off to the Chinese shop with the
box to see if he can translate it.
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I've cancelled all today's
appointments. You are our priority.
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00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:27,240
Liam, four sausages? Are you trying
to kill me? You asked for them!
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00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,480
Oh, you're looking so much better
than you did last night.
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I haven't slept a wink. I can't help
feeling partly responsible.
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Partly responsible?!
You repeatedly injected my face
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with an unknown substance bought
from the Chinese pound shop!
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It's euros! Shut up. Sorry!
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It could've been anything! I've
just seen a woman on the internet
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who nearly died when her face
was injected with petrol!
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We wouldn't have done that. Not with
the price of petrol these days.
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That's why I'm off
to get a translation.
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And remember, love,
don't go in all guns blazing.
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They're a very proud people,
the Chinese.
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They will be devastated
if they've given us something
dangerous by mistake.
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Oh! Konnichiwa.
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Ahh! He's like
the Kofi Annan of Benidorm.
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How's the wounded soldier?
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Right, that's it.
Get out, all of you. Get out!
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I just wanted to ask,
while you're incapacitated,
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shall I assume the position
of acting manageress?
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After the pig's ear
you made of it last time?
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You must be joking!
Somebody's got to be in charge,
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else we're all gonna descend
into chaos.
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This place is in chaos 24/7!
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Do you really think anybody's
going to notice a difference?
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Now, get out!
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I've left you a sausage. Get... out!
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It's not actually bad, this food.
You reckon?
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Well, there's plenty of it. That's
the problem with all-you-can-eat.
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You keep wanting to go back
for more.
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00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,560
Oh! Back in a minute.
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What's going on there? Auntie Terri
shagged the barman last night.
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Oh, dear God! What's wrong with that?
She's on her holidays.
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She's single.
What if they try and sue us?
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Why would they sue us?
I dunno. Mental anguish?
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Listen, about last night...
Don't worry.
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It's water under the bridge.
You what?
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I accept your apology.
It's not a problem.
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I didn't apologise! Oh.
I was just gonna ask you
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if you wanted to join me in making
a formal complaint. About what?
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Basically,
I'm on the board of directors
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for the UK Pub Quiz
Watchdog Committee.
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Now, we don't have
a lot of jurisdiction in Europe,
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but I'm pretty sure I can get
a strongly worded caution
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emailed over to 'em by the end
of today. What you going on about?
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He wants to complain about the quiz
last night. Basically.
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Oh, yeah? What - conducting a quiz
without due care and attention?
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I think they should all be lined up
against the wall and shot.
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And their families made to watch.
Excellent!
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Glad we're on the same page.
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I'm Geoff.
People call me The Oracle.
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Clive. This is my son, Tiger.
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Cool.
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Maybe we can all grab a cold one
together over lunch.
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Not often I meet someone as
passionate about quizzing as myself.
Lovely. Laters.
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Oh, my God!
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What a dick!
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I just wanna say, what happens
in Vegas stays in Vegas.
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I have never been to Vegas.
No. It's a saying.
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I know, but I have still never been
to Vegas.
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I meant it about me and you,
last night in Benidorm.
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Then, why didn't you say
"in Benidorm"?
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Because "what happens in Benidorm
stays in Benidorm" isn't a saying.
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It's "what happens in"...
Bloody hell, you're hard work, you!
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Listen, I have to be careful
nobody hears this.
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That is what I'm saying!
I realise you can get in trouble,
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you know, for fraternising
with the guests,
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so I'm here to tell you
you've got this one on tap.
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On tap? Yeah, baby. If you want
another slice of Mamma's pie,
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you just call room service, and I'll
deliver it straight to your door,
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all hot and steaming...
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..no questions asked.
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You blackmail me
and make me sleep with you
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so I can keep my job.
So now I have eaten the pie
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and feel lucky
I did not get food poisoning,
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even though the pie was out of date!
You can't say that to me!
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I wanna speak to your boss.
Have you seen this email?
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Temple-Savage has put YOU in charge.
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What? I know! It's unbelievable!
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I am the boss? Not exactly the boss,
but she's put you in charge
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while she's not feeling well.
Excuse me. I have to leave now,
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but if you have any complaints,
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well,
make sure you ask for the boss.
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Lesley, I will be in my office.
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It is just not possible. Sorry. What
part of this don't you understand?
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I want to exchange currency.
Money. You know - money!
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Buenos dias!
There is a complication?
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I need to exchange some money.
I am begging your pardons.
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My name is Mr Castellanos.
I am being the manager of the hotel.
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I am in charge of the hotel -
the entire hotel.
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Manager, top position.
There is nobody higher.
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Euros. I need euros.
This is not being a problem.
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Please furniture me with the key
of your room. I'm not staying here!
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Ah!
Then, we have a slight drawbridge.
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The change of currency
is only for residentials.
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May I suggest you try
Lucky Kev's money exchange
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00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,663
in the caravan park?
But a world of warning -
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he has the sticky fingers.
If you don't change this money now,
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00:09:08,303 --> 00:09:10,863
I'm gonna take that donkey
and shove it up your -
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What are you doing here?! Liam!
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I wanted to surprise you!
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Go inside.
I'll make us a cup of tea.
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Do you know this crazy woman?
Yeah, I do. She's my mother.
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Problem is not to translate,
but I don't know the words.
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You don't need a Chinese restaurant.
You need a Chinese doctor. I know.
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Don't suppose you got a doctor
in your family?
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Of course. My sister. But
she is living outside of Benidorm.
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How far outside Benidorm?
About 10,000 kilometre.
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She in China.
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I make joke!
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00:10:03,823 --> 00:10:07,063
Hilarious. What are you doing?
I'm taking my box back!
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00:10:07,103 --> 00:10:09,263
Wait. Sit down.
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00:10:10,463 --> 00:10:12,463
You are lucky man.
159
00:10:12,503 --> 00:10:15,863
I have incredible special ability
with my sister.
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00:10:15,903 --> 00:10:19,903
If I hold something in my hand,
like this,
161
00:10:19,943 --> 00:10:23,303
she can see it,
even though she in Beijing.
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00:10:23,343 --> 00:10:27,023
How'd you do that?
It's called... iPhone!
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00:10:29,583 --> 00:10:31,623
Heh-heh. Very good.
164
00:10:35,783 --> 00:10:37,783
Oh! I send by email.
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00:10:37,823 --> 00:10:40,623
She always answer in ten, 15 minute.
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You wanna buffet while you wait?
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No, I better not.
I just had a very late breakf-...
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00:10:46,503 --> 00:10:49,663
Ooh, bloody 'ell!
That smells gorgeous.
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Go on, then. Just one plateful!
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OK. Email sent.
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Remember, Kenneth,
Mr Wu's golden rule -
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00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:03,223
don't eat like a big fat pig,
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or you put me out of business!
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Lunatic!
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00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,063
There you go.
Very strong, no milk, no sugar.
176
00:11:17,103 --> 00:11:20,063
Try not to look too excited
to see me.
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00:11:20,103 --> 00:11:23,703
You don't return my emails or texts.
I gave up trying to ring you.
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00:11:23,743 --> 00:11:27,343
I'm not a bit surprised to see you
tip up in Spain unannounced.
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00:11:27,383 --> 00:11:30,183
Emails? Texts?
You know I don't understand them.
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00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:33,143
I'm here to see YOU, love.
I miss you.
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00:11:33,183 --> 00:11:35,183
No, you don't.
182
00:11:36,183 --> 00:11:39,183
What do you want?
Don't you speak to me like that.
183
00:11:39,223 --> 00:11:41,703
I'm your mother.
184
00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:47,423
Son, it's time to come home.
I am home. This is where I live.
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00:11:47,463 --> 00:11:50,623
You can't fritter your life away
on your own in this dump.
186
00:11:50,663 --> 00:11:53,103
You need to be with a family.
I'm with my dad.
187
00:11:53,143 --> 00:11:57,183
From what I've heard about him, no
wonder you're sitting here in a pinny
188
00:11:57,223 --> 00:11:59,503
doing women's hair.
What does that mean?
189
00:11:59,543 --> 00:12:02,183
Look, I know
I've not been in touch recently,
190
00:12:02,223 --> 00:12:05,663
but I've not had time. My feet
have hardly touched the ground.
191
00:12:05,703 --> 00:12:07,943
I've met someone.
I'm very happy for you.
192
00:12:07,983 --> 00:12:11,383
Do you want a biscuit with that?
He's called Mad Dog.
193
00:12:11,423 --> 00:12:14,583
Beautiful name.
Well, his real name's Alan.
194
00:12:14,623 --> 00:12:16,743
Naturally.
But he's a real character.
195
00:12:16,783 --> 00:12:19,903
He's got his own
debt-collecting business in Oldham.
196
00:12:19,943 --> 00:12:24,223
Earns 150K a year. You'd love him!
He sounds a delight.
197
00:12:25,223 --> 00:12:28,263
Are you taking the piss?
Mother, I live in Spain!
198
00:12:28,303 --> 00:12:30,583
I'm very happy.
My boss is like a brother.
199
00:12:30,623 --> 00:12:32,663
Me and my dad
have never been closer.
200
00:12:32,703 --> 00:12:35,383
My life is here now.
Alan says, if you come back,
201
00:12:35,423 --> 00:12:39,863
he'll guarantee you a job for life.
People will always be in debt, son.
202
00:12:39,903 --> 00:12:43,223
Oh, what a lovely thought!
Well? What do you say?
203
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:46,383
Collecting debts in Oldham
with a man called Mad Dog?
204
00:12:46,423 --> 00:12:49,383
It's a dream come true!
£30K a year, and your own van?
205
00:12:49,423 --> 00:12:52,063
You're not kidding.
Yeah, I'm taking the piss!
206
00:12:52,103 --> 00:12:54,863
I'm not impressed with
the way you've turned out.
207
00:12:54,903 --> 00:12:57,583
You must be surrounded by
very bad influences.
208
00:12:57,623 --> 00:13:02,743
You could say the feeling's mutual.
Everything all right, son?
209
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,783
Mateo said you had a...
210
00:13:06,503 --> 00:13:08,703
..a visitor! Well, well, well.
211
00:13:08,743 --> 00:13:12,143
I wouldn't have believed it
had I not seen it with my own eyes.
212
00:13:12,183 --> 00:13:14,423
The great Les Conroy!
213
00:13:14,463 --> 00:13:18,583
Thank Christ the people who came to
our wedding can't see you now.
214
00:13:18,623 --> 00:13:22,583
Look in the mirror, Les.
Just look at yourself!
215
00:13:22,623 --> 00:13:26,143
Call yourself a father!
You're a disgrace!
216
00:13:26,183 --> 00:13:28,583
You look like a melting clown.
217
00:13:28,623 --> 00:13:31,663
It's good to see you, Gloria.
You've lost weight.
218
00:13:31,703 --> 00:13:34,943
About 12 stone of ugly fat
when I left you.
219
00:13:34,983 --> 00:13:37,423
And your hair's amazing, too!
220
00:13:37,463 --> 00:13:40,023
I'm jealous.
You're a freak of nature.
221
00:13:40,063 --> 00:13:43,703
Your skin's good, as well. You're
really looking after yourself.
222
00:13:43,743 --> 00:13:46,423
Do you actually go outside
looking like that?
223
00:13:46,463 --> 00:13:49,023
I don't know how long
you're here for, Gloria,
224
00:13:49,063 --> 00:13:53,063
but for every negative, hurtful,
poisonous thing you say to me,
225
00:13:53,103 --> 00:13:55,783
I'll try and say something positive
to you.
226
00:13:55,823 --> 00:13:58,703
Because you think
you're better than me? No.
227
00:13:58,743 --> 00:14:02,423
Because I live a wonderful life
in the sunshine, with a job I like,
228
00:14:02,463 --> 00:14:06,023
and friends I cherish,
and a devoted son I adore.
229
00:14:06,063 --> 00:14:09,863
It only seems fair to try and give
some of the love back.
230
00:14:11,543 --> 00:14:13,623
See you 'round.
231
00:14:27,303 --> 00:14:29,583
Drop the latch when you leave.
232
00:14:47,743 --> 00:14:50,863
Is it much further?
Just round this corner.
233
00:14:50,903 --> 00:14:53,703
A little exercise
won't do you any harm.
234
00:14:53,743 --> 00:14:57,943
Consider it a warm-up. It's not
the exercise I'm bothered about.
235
00:14:57,983 --> 00:15:02,183
It's just this path is so narrow
that every time a lorry goes past,
236
00:15:02,223 --> 00:15:05,103
you look like
you're either gonna get sucked off
237
00:15:05,143 --> 00:15:08,143
or end up in somebody's bush.
238
00:15:08,183 --> 00:15:11,023
We're here!
239
00:15:12,023 --> 00:15:15,303
Oh, what's the date today?
Oh, I don't know!
240
00:15:15,343 --> 00:15:20,543
It's the 15th! Oh, blast!
There's a local league game on.
241
00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:23,903
What does that mean?
It means we can't play!
242
00:15:23,943 --> 00:15:26,543
Oh, well! We'll just have to watch!
243
00:15:30,903 --> 00:15:32,703
Come.
244
00:15:38,943 --> 00:15:41,503
You wanted to see me,
Miss Temple-Savage?
245
00:15:41,543 --> 00:15:44,863
Er, yes, thank you, Mateo.
I just wanted to...
246
00:15:46,183 --> 00:15:50,423
Everything is OK? Yes, everything
is O-... You scrub up well!
247
00:15:50,463 --> 00:15:53,103
Scrub? It means you look very nice.
248
00:15:53,143 --> 00:15:57,743
Oh! I am thanking your most kind
words and your hospital gratitude.
249
00:15:57,783 --> 00:16:02,183
Hospital? I... I just wanted to
check you were OK being in charge.
250
00:16:02,223 --> 00:16:07,063
It's just for the day. I can
persuade you to put all of your
optical confidence inside me.
251
00:16:07,103 --> 00:16:10,663
Why are you talking like that?
Like what? Well... rubbish!
252
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:14,023
If I am to be scaling mismanagement,
253
00:16:14,063 --> 00:16:16,503
I am requiring words
of a higher calibrate.
254
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:20,223
But you're using all the wrong
words, and not in the right order.
255
00:16:20,263 --> 00:16:23,703
Mateo, just be yourself, OK?
256
00:16:23,743 --> 00:16:27,623
OK. I will be myself. Good.
Now, can you go and find Kenneth?
257
00:16:27,663 --> 00:16:31,063
He was supposed to be coming
straight back. No problem.
258
00:16:31,103 --> 00:16:34,823
Oh... Thank you for
this most respicious opportunity.
259
00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,943
Just go away.
260
00:16:39,183 --> 00:16:41,183
Thank you.
261
00:16:41,223 --> 00:16:43,263
Thank you. Thank you.
262
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,983
Thank you.
263
00:16:46,023 --> 00:16:48,143
Thank you.
264
00:16:59,063 --> 00:17:02,983
So, what kind of building do you do?
You name it, we build it.
265
00:17:04,863 --> 00:17:07,183
A pyramid. Eh?
266
00:17:07,223 --> 00:17:09,903
You said, "Name it and we build it."
267
00:17:09,943 --> 00:17:13,583
No. I mean houses, flats,
that sort of thing.
268
00:17:14,703 --> 00:17:18,503
It's a minefield, innit? Yeah, well,
I been in the game a long time,
269
00:17:18,543 --> 00:17:23,063
so I know my way round.
Nah. I mean the English language.
270
00:17:23,103 --> 00:17:25,023
Right...
271
00:17:26,823 --> 00:17:29,623
What is it you do again? Well...
272
00:17:29,663 --> 00:17:33,223
It's really difficult to put into
actual words what I do.
273
00:17:33,263 --> 00:17:36,143
Which is ironic, really,
cos words ARE what I do.
274
00:17:36,183 --> 00:17:40,023
Right. I've no idea
what you're talking about.
275
00:17:40,063 --> 00:17:42,503
I've been called a swami, a guru...
276
00:17:42,543 --> 00:17:45,983
I suppose a lot of people would say
I'm a life coach.
277
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,783
Right.
My son could do with one of them.
278
00:17:48,823 --> 00:17:51,143
Any time
you want me to speak to him -
279
00:17:51,183 --> 00:17:53,503
I wouldn't bother. I've tried that.
Nah.
280
00:17:53,543 --> 00:17:57,823
What you've probably tried to do is
promote your own ideals and values.
281
00:17:57,863 --> 00:18:00,223
As Mr Miyagi said,
282
00:18:00,263 --> 00:18:04,903
"There's no such thing as a bad
student, only a bad teacher."
283
00:18:04,943 --> 00:18:08,303
Well, I can't really blame
his teachers. No.
284
00:18:08,343 --> 00:18:11,383
I mean you! Oh, thanks!
285
00:18:12,903 --> 00:18:17,943
A kid learns the most when he thinks
he's not being taught.
286
00:18:19,263 --> 00:18:22,303
I'll give you a shout in a bit,
show you what I mean.
287
00:18:22,343 --> 00:18:23,823
Yeah.
288
00:18:23,863 --> 00:18:25,863
I can't wait.
289
00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:35,223
Kenneth? Kenneth!
290
00:18:36,903 --> 00:18:38,503
KENNETH!
291
00:18:38,543 --> 00:18:40,743
Oh, sorry! Didn't hear you.
292
00:18:40,783 --> 00:18:44,543
That's OK.
You were in what we call BSA -
293
00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:47,303
buffet suspended animation.
294
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:50,023
Food here at Mr Wu so delicious,
295
00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:54,183
it make your taste buds work
overtime, and affect other senses.
296
00:18:54,223 --> 00:18:58,063
Either that, or you just big, fat,
greedy pig.
297
00:18:58,103 --> 00:19:01,143
Very funny. That's twice
you've called me that.
298
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:04,343
You like the capado chicken?
Which one was that?
299
00:19:04,383 --> 00:19:07,103
Is this one.
Oh, my God, that was gorgeous.
300
00:19:07,143 --> 00:19:11,343
What is in that beautiful red sauce?
A secret. But whatever in it,
301
00:19:11,383 --> 00:19:13,783
you better wipe
from around your mouth,
302
00:19:13,823 --> 00:19:16,823
or you look like Buffet the Vampire.
You get it?
303
00:19:16,863 --> 00:19:20,783
Not Buffy the Vampire.
Chinese Buffet the Vampire!
304
00:19:23,823 --> 00:19:26,823
Yeah. Very funny.
305
00:19:28,263 --> 00:19:32,263
So, what did your sister say?
Oh, yeah! I forgot about that!
306
00:19:32,303 --> 00:19:34,423
Wait a minute. OK.
307
00:19:34,463 --> 00:19:39,103
What she say is, she bought
a new carpet for her living room,
308
00:19:39,143 --> 00:19:42,063
but she wanna change it.
She also new car!
309
00:19:42,103 --> 00:19:46,343
Oh! She got a Buick! They must've
got rid of their Citroen.
310
00:19:46,383 --> 00:19:50,303
The ingredients in the medicine!
Wait. I think she getting to that.
311
00:19:50,343 --> 00:19:52,983
Ahh, her friend Lucy got a new dog.
Oh!
312
00:19:53,023 --> 00:19:55,343
Ah, that's why
she wanna change carpet.
313
00:19:55,383 --> 00:20:00,223
For God's sake! I've got to get
back to work! Check yourself
before you wreck yourself!
314
00:20:00,263 --> 00:20:03,423
You not in hurry when you chomping
on Mr Wu's po-pos, huh?
315
00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:06,183
That does sound funny!
316
00:20:07,983 --> 00:20:10,063
Hilarious.
317
00:20:10,103 --> 00:20:12,743
OK.
318
00:20:12,783 --> 00:20:16,303
Ah. Oh!
"Content is basically canine drug
319
00:20:16,343 --> 00:20:20,223
used to cause temporary paralysis
for medical reasons."
320
00:20:20,263 --> 00:20:22,583
Did you just say "canine"?
321
00:20:23,583 --> 00:20:26,463
Oh, God!
What you been using this for?
322
00:20:27,463 --> 00:20:30,383
I injected it into my boss's face!
323
00:20:41,343 --> 00:20:44,983
No. No. Serious.
What did you do with this?
324
00:20:46,263 --> 00:20:48,703
Oh, shit! Thanks, Mr Wu.
325
00:20:48,743 --> 00:20:51,263
I better get back
and ring that doctor again.
326
00:20:51,303 --> 00:20:55,183
Kenneth! It's not a doctor you need.
What you need is a vet.
327
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:01,583
Hey! No! Six euro for the buffet.
Kenneth!
328
00:21:01,623 --> 00:21:04,743
I haven't got my bum bag with me.
I'll pay you tomorrow.
329
00:21:04,783 --> 00:21:08,023
He eat enough for five people,
and he pay for nothing!
330
00:21:08,063 --> 00:21:10,143
Typical!
331
00:21:11,823 --> 00:21:14,703
"It's not a doctor you need,
it's a vet."
332
00:21:22,463 --> 00:21:25,623
I didn't think
it'd be this exciting!
333
00:21:25,663 --> 00:21:30,543
Oh, it's a great game, pelota,
and they take it so seriously! Mmm!
334
00:21:30,583 --> 00:21:32,863
Bloody 'ell!
335
00:21:32,903 --> 00:21:34,943
That nearly took my head off!
336
00:21:34,983 --> 00:21:38,143
If you're in the crowd,
you're legally part of the game.
337
00:21:38,183 --> 00:21:41,503
I once saw a supporter
screaming from the stands,
338
00:21:41,543 --> 00:21:45,663
when the ball whizzed across
the court, and he swallowed it!
339
00:21:45,703 --> 00:21:49,743
The things those players did to that
poor man to get their ball back!
340
00:21:49,783 --> 00:21:52,983
Made MY eyes water, never mind his.
341
00:21:53,023 --> 00:21:55,623
Agh!
342
00:21:55,663 --> 00:21:57,983
Oh, dear, oh, dear!
343
00:21:58,023 --> 00:22:01,623
This does not look good.
344
00:22:01,663 --> 00:22:05,303
What's he saying?
He's saying, "My ankle, my ankle."
345
00:22:05,343 --> 00:22:07,503
What do you think's wrong with him?
346
00:22:07,543 --> 00:22:09,903
I think he's hurt his ankle.
347
00:22:09,943 --> 00:22:13,383
Mm. Oh! What's going on now?
348
00:22:13,423 --> 00:22:16,423
Well, that man wants his sub
to carry on,
349
00:22:16,463 --> 00:22:20,223
but the official is saying he can't,
because he isn't from Polop.
350
00:22:20,263 --> 00:22:23,983
He's not from what?
Polop. It's the local village.
351
00:22:24,023 --> 00:22:26,983
This match is between Polop
and Benidorm.
352
00:22:34,343 --> 00:22:36,503
I live in Polop!
353
00:22:36,543 --> 00:22:38,583
I thought you lived in Wales!
354
00:22:38,623 --> 00:22:40,623
Ssh! You live in Polop?
355
00:22:40,663 --> 00:22:43,623
Yes. My wife and I just moved there.
OK.
356
00:22:43,663 --> 00:22:46,663
Looks like
I'm going to get a game after all!
357
00:22:46,703 --> 00:22:49,463
Hurry up!
358
00:22:50,663 --> 00:22:53,743
Change those ridiculous shoes.
Ridiculous?!
359
00:22:56,063 --> 00:22:59,143
Oh, thank you! Viva Polop!
360
00:23:03,823 --> 00:23:07,383
This is exciting!
Your husband, he can play?
361
00:23:07,423 --> 00:23:11,343
Well, he's very good at volleyball,
but he's in France.
362
00:23:11,383 --> 00:23:14,743
Oh! That husband!
363
00:23:14,783 --> 00:23:17,143
Yeah! Oh, yeah.
364
00:23:17,183 --> 00:23:19,343
He's really good.
365
00:23:25,023 --> 00:23:26,823
Oof!
366
00:23:45,033 --> 00:23:46,833
Hello!
367
00:23:48,541 --> 00:23:50,741
You're not here on your own,
are you?
368
00:23:51,741 --> 00:23:54,421
Well, not really.
I'm visiting my son.
369
00:23:54,461 --> 00:23:59,221
Oh, I see. I'm just scouting around
for a ping-pong partner.
370
00:23:59,261 --> 00:24:01,461
I'm sorry?
371
00:24:01,501 --> 00:24:04,061
Well, I'm here with my son, too.
372
00:24:04,101 --> 00:24:06,701
But he's very competitive,
373
00:24:06,741 --> 00:24:10,861
whereas I just love being
knee-deep in schat.
374
00:24:11,981 --> 00:24:14,101
Knee-deep in what? Chat!
375
00:24:14,141 --> 00:24:17,621
You know, banter. Oh! Right.
376
00:24:17,660 --> 00:24:20,540
Can I ask you a question? Fire away.
377
00:24:20,581 --> 00:24:24,341
As a customer at this hotel,
do you think that's right?
378
00:24:24,381 --> 00:24:26,621
Do I think what's right?
379
00:24:26,661 --> 00:24:29,981
Staff being allowed to dress up
like pantomime dames!
380
00:24:30,021 --> 00:24:35,341
Do you know who the best dame
in the business was?
381
00:24:36,381 --> 00:24:41,061
Danny La Rue! A close personal
friend of my late husband!
382
00:24:41,101 --> 00:24:44,621
Yeah. Well, that is MY late husband.
383
00:24:44,661 --> 00:24:47,101
So, how do you think I feel?
384
00:24:47,141 --> 00:24:49,701
I don't know how you feel.
385
00:24:49,741 --> 00:24:53,141
You certainly sound pretty angry
to me.
386
00:24:54,141 --> 00:24:57,781
I reckon,
if what you do makes you happy,
387
00:24:57,821 --> 00:25:02,221
and it isn't hurting anyone else,
go for it!
388
00:25:02,261 --> 00:25:05,421
Wouldn't it be wonderful
if we could all go through life
389
00:25:05,461 --> 00:25:08,781
with rose-tinted spectacles like you?
390
00:25:08,821 --> 00:25:10,541
Yeah.
391
00:25:10,581 --> 00:25:13,101
Yes, it would.
392
00:25:13,141 --> 00:25:14,901
Les!
393
00:25:16,141 --> 00:25:19,581
We need to talk. We don't have
anything to say to each other.
394
00:25:19,621 --> 00:25:23,501
If you genuinely care about our son,
you'll listen to me.
395
00:25:23,541 --> 00:25:26,861
I'm listening.
Not here. Somewhere private.
396
00:25:33,021 --> 00:25:35,021
Follow me.
397
00:25:36,421 --> 00:25:39,381
Om...
398
00:25:55,061 --> 00:25:57,861
Listen, I'm going back.
What you talking about?
399
00:25:57,901 --> 00:26:01,021
This is for your benefit.
How'd you work that out?
400
00:26:01,061 --> 00:26:03,661
This is... character-building!
401
00:26:03,701 --> 00:26:07,021
Oh, there you are! What's going on?
402
00:26:07,061 --> 00:26:10,901
He's gonna walk across
burning-hot coals. Oh, no!
403
00:26:10,941 --> 00:26:13,901
Geoff, not with your bunions!
404
00:26:13,941 --> 00:26:16,501
Please listen to me, son.
405
00:26:16,541 --> 00:26:20,421
He can't hear you.
He's in some sort of trance.
406
00:26:34,061 --> 00:26:36,221
Aaaargh! They're burning!
407
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:40,181
IT'S BURNING!
Then, get off it, you great twat.
408
00:26:41,061 --> 00:26:44,221
It's stuck in my foot!
Get it out, somebody! Get it out!
409
00:26:44,261 --> 00:26:48,061
I ain't touching it.
We need some salad tongs.
410
00:26:48,101 --> 00:26:50,301
Aaargh!
411
00:26:51,981 --> 00:26:55,621
Get out of the way! Get out the way!
412
00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:14,821
What are you lot looking at?
413
00:27:37,501 --> 00:27:39,741
I'm listening.
I'll come to the point.
414
00:27:39,781 --> 00:27:43,781
I've offered Liam a job, a flat
and a new life in the UK.
415
00:27:43,821 --> 00:27:47,741
I could see he was tempted. Well,
who wouldn't want 30 grand a year,
416
00:27:47,781 --> 00:27:50,301
plus pension,
not to mention a company car?
417
00:27:50,341 --> 00:27:54,461
But he didn't take it. I know why.
Because he's got a life here.
418
00:27:54,501 --> 00:27:57,861
You may dress like a fool, Les,
but don't act like one.
419
00:27:57,901 --> 00:28:00,101
What sort of a life is this?
420
00:28:00,141 --> 00:28:02,581
Scrabbling around
trying to make ends meet,
421
00:28:02,621 --> 00:28:06,381
living off all-inclusive leftovers,
drinking during the day...
422
00:28:06,421 --> 00:28:11,061
There's only one thing stopping him
going back to the UK. You.
423
00:28:11,101 --> 00:28:14,181
He's a grown man.
He does what he wants to do.
424
00:28:14,221 --> 00:28:18,381
Oh, wake up and smell the coffee,
Les! There's nothing for him here.
425
00:28:18,421 --> 00:28:21,941
I'm here.
And what an example you are to him!
426
00:28:21,981 --> 00:28:25,501
I can't make him go if he
doesn't want to. No. You're wrong.
427
00:28:25,541 --> 00:28:29,101
Don't ask me to explain why,
but he'd do anything for you.
428
00:28:29,141 --> 00:28:31,141
I won't do it.
429
00:28:34,661 --> 00:28:36,981
I think you will.
430
00:28:39,341 --> 00:28:42,781
What's this? £10,000.
431
00:28:42,821 --> 00:28:48,421
It's yours. Convince Liam
he has to go back and live in the UK.
432
00:28:48,461 --> 00:28:52,061
You've got to be joking! This way
you get what's best for both of you.
433
00:28:52,101 --> 00:28:54,981
I couldn't look at him
and tell him I didn't want him!
434
00:28:55,021 --> 00:28:57,461
So, write him a letter.
435
00:29:01,341 --> 00:29:03,381
£10,000 is a lot of money.
436
00:29:06,021 --> 00:29:10,941
You could sort out all your finances
and still have plenty to live on.
437
00:29:14,181 --> 00:29:16,621
I can't. Les...
438
00:29:16,661 --> 00:29:20,701
denying yourself £10,000
makes you an idiot.
439
00:29:20,741 --> 00:29:25,101
But denying your only son
the life and career he deserves
440
00:29:25,141 --> 00:29:28,461
makes you something much, much worse.
441
00:29:30,701 --> 00:29:34,661
It's not about the money.
It's about Liam's future.
442
00:29:36,661 --> 00:29:38,741
Look at your life now.
443
00:29:38,781 --> 00:29:43,261
Is this what you want for your son...
when he's 60?
444
00:29:48,621 --> 00:29:51,821
Oh! There's one thing more.
445
00:29:51,861 --> 00:29:54,461
For the remaining time
that Liam's still here,
446
00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:57,301
you'll stop
all this ridiculous dressing up.
447
00:29:57,341 --> 00:29:59,501
It's one thing embarrassing yourself.
448
00:29:59,541 --> 00:30:02,461
But from now on,
you do what's best for Liam.
449
00:30:03,661 --> 00:30:05,661
Do we have a deal?
450
00:30:06,981 --> 00:30:08,981
Get out.
451
00:30:10,421 --> 00:30:12,421
You know it makes sense.
452
00:30:16,461 --> 00:30:19,141
You're doing the right thing, Les.
453
00:30:31,101 --> 00:30:33,461
This clown
is going to lose our match.
454
00:30:33,501 --> 00:30:37,221
There is another person
from Polop here.
455
00:30:37,261 --> 00:30:39,421
There's no-one. I ask everyone.
456
00:30:39,461 --> 00:30:41,661
Me! You?
457
00:30:41,701 --> 00:30:45,501
Yeah! Glynn's from Polop,
and, if you remember,
458
00:30:45,541 --> 00:30:49,701
I'm Glynn's wife, so that means
I live in Polop, as well.
459
00:30:49,741 --> 00:30:52,741
Neither of you lives in Polop.
How do you know that?
460
00:30:52,781 --> 00:30:56,941
Polop is a small village. I know
every British person living there.
461
00:30:56,981 --> 00:30:58,901
Plus, if you live in Polop,
462
00:30:58,941 --> 00:31:01,621
why are you wearing
a Benidorm hotel wristband?
463
00:31:01,661 --> 00:31:05,821
I'm also Middlesbrough volleyball
mixed-doubles champion
464
00:31:05,861 --> 00:31:08,381
six years in a row.
465
00:31:09,861 --> 00:31:12,621
Arbitro! Cambio!
466
00:31:13,661 --> 00:31:15,181
Tu!
467
00:31:17,421 --> 00:31:19,701
Go on! OK!
468
00:31:21,301 --> 00:31:23,301
Sorry. Come and watch.
469
00:31:23,341 --> 00:31:28,341
Watch? You can't pull me off!
I'm just about to come into my own!
470
00:31:28,381 --> 00:31:31,821
If I had a euro
every time I heard that...!
471
00:31:36,941 --> 00:31:39,821
It is good? Yeah. OK.
472
00:31:39,861 --> 00:31:41,981
Viva Polop!
473
00:31:50,741 --> 00:31:52,301
Whoa!
474
00:32:41,861 --> 00:32:44,861
A vet?
I don't wanna be seen by a vet!
475
00:32:44,901 --> 00:32:50,061
How rude! Juan's come all the way
from Finestrat! I don't care
if he's come from Fleetwood!
476
00:32:50,101 --> 00:32:54,301
I'm not being examined by a vet!
She gets excitable around strangers,
477
00:32:54,341 --> 00:32:57,061
but she doesn't bite.
Kenneth! I'm only joking.
478
00:32:57,101 --> 00:32:59,901
He doesn't need to examine you -
just give you a shot
479
00:32:59,941 --> 00:33:03,141
to counteract the rabies injection
I gave you. Rabies?!
480
00:33:03,181 --> 00:33:06,061
You've got to be joking!
She has no symptoms,
481
00:33:06,101 --> 00:33:09,461
apart from the paralysis?
Excuse me! I do speak English!
482
00:33:09,501 --> 00:33:13,341
Not that I know of.
No excessive panting or whining?
483
00:33:13,381 --> 00:33:16,821
Oh! Now you come to mention it,
there has been a lot of whining.
484
00:33:16,861 --> 00:33:19,981
And she's been pulling herself along
by her front paws,
485
00:33:20,021 --> 00:33:23,061
dragging her bum across the grass.
I'm only messing!
486
00:33:23,101 --> 00:33:25,701
You have injected me in the face
487
00:33:25,741 --> 00:33:29,221
with something you give to dogs
that have rabies?!
488
00:33:29,261 --> 00:33:32,621
Which begs the question,
why are you frothing at the mouth?
489
00:33:32,661 --> 00:33:36,181
Out of here, now! Do you have
any rope to tie up the hind legs?
490
00:33:36,221 --> 00:33:39,821
In my room, but that's
three floors down. Hold them!
491
00:33:39,861 --> 00:33:42,301
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! OK!
492
00:33:42,341 --> 00:33:45,421
We need to swap positions.
Get round the head.
493
00:33:45,461 --> 00:33:49,301
Those teeth look sharp. Will you
stop talking about me like this?
494
00:33:49,341 --> 00:33:53,261
I'm not an animal!
I'm a human being!
495
00:33:56,821 --> 00:33:58,741
Aaarrgh!
496
00:33:58,781 --> 00:34:01,421
Ssh, ssh, ssh.
497
00:34:01,461 --> 00:34:04,181
Muy bueno.
498
00:34:05,981 --> 00:34:08,861
There you are!
I've been looking for you.
499
00:34:08,901 --> 00:34:11,261
Slow day at work?
I'm having a late lunch.
500
00:34:11,301 --> 00:34:14,181
Son, we appear to have got off
on the wrong foot.
501
00:34:14,221 --> 00:34:17,861
Yes, you do. I don't hate your dad.
502
00:34:17,901 --> 00:34:20,661
I'm just frustrated
he's holding you back.
503
00:34:20,701 --> 00:34:24,501
What do you mean? That's why I'm
offering you a fresh start in the UK.
504
00:34:24,541 --> 00:34:28,341
I don't want one! What would you say
if I offered you a fresh start here?
505
00:34:28,381 --> 00:34:31,021
What would I want to live here for?
Exactly!
506
00:34:31,061 --> 00:34:35,261
Liam, why don't we have tea together
tonight?
507
00:34:35,301 --> 00:34:38,981
What, with Mad Dog? No, no. He's on
a shooting weekend in Madrid.
508
00:34:39,021 --> 00:34:42,461
Oh! What's he shooting -
people in debt?
509
00:34:42,501 --> 00:34:45,901
Don't be daft. Birds, small animals,
that sort of thing.
510
00:34:45,941 --> 00:34:49,341
I don't think Mad Dog and I
are gonna get along. Why not?
511
00:34:49,381 --> 00:34:52,581
It's just a feeling.
Me and you, tonight.
512
00:34:52,621 --> 00:34:55,821
Eight o'clock.
I'm staying at the Belroy.
513
00:34:55,861 --> 00:34:58,941
They do a lovely a la carte.
I will have dinner with you -
514
00:34:58,981 --> 00:35:01,501
in Neptune's, eight o'clock.
515
00:35:01,541 --> 00:35:03,701
And then, tomorrow...
516
00:35:05,381 --> 00:35:09,701
..I want you to go home,
and leave me and my dad in peace.
517
00:35:10,701 --> 00:35:13,341
We'll see. Eight o'clock.
518
00:35:14,341 --> 00:35:17,261
Eight o'clock.
519
00:35:22,301 --> 00:35:25,781
Right. I know it's been difficult
without me, but I'm back.
520
00:35:25,821 --> 00:35:28,981
Back at work. Back in the game.
Are you all back?
521
00:35:29,021 --> 00:35:32,461
You never went anywhere.
Miss Temple-Savage, are you OK?
522
00:35:32,501 --> 00:35:35,861
Why are you dressed like
an undertaker? Did somebody die?
523
00:35:35,901 --> 00:35:40,421
I have been manager while you were
not well. Do you not remember? You?
524
00:35:40,461 --> 00:35:44,541
Manager? You couldn't manage a fart
without shitting yourself.
525
00:35:44,581 --> 00:35:47,581
I'm hungry. I'm so hungry!
I'm going to get some food.
526
00:35:47,621 --> 00:35:49,901
Anybody want any food?
527
00:35:53,101 --> 00:35:55,461
Well, it's good
that Joyce is back on form.
528
00:35:55,501 --> 00:35:58,861
She's climbing the walls!
What have you done to her?
529
00:35:58,901 --> 00:36:02,101
You have given her something.
She was feeling a bit groggy
530
00:36:02,141 --> 00:36:06,901
after her visit from the vet -
the doctor, so I slipped a few uppers
into her Bovril.
531
00:36:06,941 --> 00:36:10,181
She'll be fine!
532
00:36:10,221 --> 00:36:12,461
What is Bovril?
533
00:36:18,261 --> 00:36:21,141
Well!
It's not exactly the Belroy, but...
534
00:36:22,141 --> 00:36:25,021
I was gonna say
I've eaten in worse places,
535
00:36:25,061 --> 00:36:27,261
but I'm not sure I have.
536
00:36:27,301 --> 00:36:30,781
He's quite funny, Geoff, isn't he?
Geoff? The Oracle.
537
00:36:30,821 --> 00:36:33,181
Depends what you mean by funny.
538
00:36:33,221 --> 00:36:37,141
Weird, laughable, an embarrassment -
that kind of funny, yeah.
539
00:36:37,181 --> 00:36:41,381
Your problem is, you're threatened
by another alpha male. Alpha male?!
540
00:36:41,421 --> 00:36:45,101
He's on holiday with his mum! He's
more of a man than you'll ever be.
541
00:36:45,141 --> 00:36:48,501
Oh, my God! And you fancy him.
You do!
542
00:36:48,541 --> 00:36:52,821
You fancy him!
He's not my usual type,
543
00:36:52,861 --> 00:36:55,781
but he does have
a vulnerable quality to him.
544
00:36:55,821 --> 00:36:58,061
What, with his burned feet?
545
00:36:59,221 --> 00:37:01,301
Hello!
546
00:37:02,301 --> 00:37:05,141
It's Theresa, isn't it? Yeah. Terri.
547
00:37:05,181 --> 00:37:09,101
I must say,
I was thrilled when Geoff told me
548
00:37:09,141 --> 00:37:11,781
that you'd asked us
to join you for dinner.
549
00:37:11,821 --> 00:37:14,381
He'll be down in a minute.
550
00:37:14,421 --> 00:37:17,221
I've just got to go
and wash my hands.
551
00:37:17,261 --> 00:37:20,861
For the past half hour,
I've been creaming his feet.
552
00:37:20,901 --> 00:37:23,301
See you in a jiffy!
553
00:37:24,541 --> 00:37:26,861
Creaming... his feet?
554
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:34,940
The thing is, Liam,
555
00:37:34,961 --> 00:37:37,641
I think your dad
has finally come to his senses,
556
00:37:37,651 --> 00:37:40,091
and not before time.
What do you mean?
557
00:37:40,131 --> 00:37:43,091
Well, it came as quite a shock,
558
00:37:43,095 --> 00:37:45,295
but he asked to see me
this afternoon,
559
00:37:45,335 --> 00:37:49,655
and... well, basically, he thinks
that you should move back to the UK,
560
00:37:49,695 --> 00:37:52,535
with me. Why would he say that?
561
00:37:52,575 --> 00:37:56,815
I admit he's changed his tune
pretty quick,
562
00:37:56,855 --> 00:37:59,335
but he said you both need to...
563
00:37:59,375 --> 00:38:01,535
Oh, what was his phrase?
564
00:38:02,535 --> 00:38:05,095
"Wake up and smell the coffee."
565
00:38:05,099 --> 00:38:06,799
He doesn't like coffee.
566
00:38:06,854 --> 00:38:11,534
He thinks you should take the job,
with proper career prospects,
567
00:38:11,574 --> 00:38:13,934
and he's taking stock of his life,
too.
568
00:38:13,974 --> 00:38:18,494
And he's gonna stop all that dressing
up and making a fool of himself.
569
00:38:18,535 --> 00:38:22,895
How stupid do you think I am?
What's that got to do with anything?
570
00:38:22,934 --> 00:38:26,534
Those are your words, not my dad's.
Ask him yourself. I will!
571
00:38:26,575 --> 00:38:29,215
I think you're putting words
into his mouth.
572
00:38:29,254 --> 00:38:31,974
Me and your dad were married
for 20 years.
573
00:38:32,014 --> 00:38:34,454
I know him
better than he knows himself.
574
00:38:35,454 --> 00:38:39,774
Liam, sometimes,
no matter how late in life,
575
00:38:39,814 --> 00:38:42,654
people do eventually grow up.
576
00:38:42,694 --> 00:38:44,814
This is for you.
577
00:38:44,854 --> 00:38:48,174
Liam, the gentleman's got
something for you.
578
00:38:48,214 --> 00:38:50,494
No. It's for you.
579
00:38:51,494 --> 00:38:54,334
Hello! I have work to do.
580
00:39:09,654 --> 00:39:12,334
# The moment I wake up
581
00:39:13,334 --> 00:39:16,134
# Before I put on my make-up
582
00:39:16,174 --> 00:39:20,254
# I say a little...
# Prayer for you
583
00:39:21,454 --> 00:39:23,934
# While combing my hair, now
584
00:39:23,974 --> 00:39:27,894
# And wondering what dress to wear,
now
585
00:39:27,934 --> 00:39:29,814
# Wear now
# I say a little...
586
00:39:29,854 --> 00:39:32,054
# Prayer for you
587
00:39:32,094 --> 00:39:33,254
# Forever
# Forever
588
00:39:33,294 --> 00:39:35,254
♪ Forever ♪ And ever
♪ You'll stay in my heart
589
00:39:35,294 --> 00:39:37,774
# And I will love you
# Forever
590
00:39:37,814 --> 00:39:39,174
# And ever...
591
00:39:39,214 --> 00:39:42,654
Hello?
592
00:39:42,694 --> 00:39:48,174
Well, I must say,
this was a good idea.
593
00:39:48,214 --> 00:39:52,214
Safety in numbers,
that's what I say!
594
00:39:52,254 --> 00:39:57,414
Although I once did have
a holiday here on my own.
595
00:39:57,454 --> 00:40:01,494
Oh, yeah? How was that?
Oh, it was an absolute stinker.
596
00:40:01,534 --> 00:40:04,374
I mean, Geoff's in-laws were here,
597
00:40:04,414 --> 00:40:06,974
and I chummed up with them
for a bit.
598
00:40:07,014 --> 00:40:09,614
But I don't think
I'll be doing that again.
599
00:40:10,534 --> 00:40:12,854
You're married? Separated.
600
00:40:12,894 --> 00:40:15,774
Well - never married, to be honest.
601
00:40:15,814 --> 00:40:19,734
Although we do have a son, Py.
See him every other weekend.
602
00:40:19,774 --> 00:40:23,454
You got a son called Pie?
What, as in "steak and kidney"?
603
00:40:23,494 --> 00:40:27,814
No! As in Pythagoras.
You called your son Pythagoras?
604
00:40:27,854 --> 00:40:30,454
Yeah. Why? Nothing.
605
00:40:32,014 --> 00:40:35,454
Pythagoras is my favourite
of all the Greek philosophers.
606
00:40:35,494 --> 00:40:38,574
Seriously?
Well, apart from Socrates. Obvs!
607
00:40:38,614 --> 00:40:41,534
I used to love all that at school.
All what?
608
00:40:41,574 --> 00:40:45,494
Ancient Greek philosophy.
The nearest you got to ancient Greece
609
00:40:45,534 --> 00:40:48,494
was having a kebab on
a Saturday night after 12 pints.
610
00:40:48,534 --> 00:40:52,014
Hello! Oh, this is ridiculous!
611
00:40:53,254 --> 00:40:56,814
Same again? Oh, lovely.
Yeah. I'm fine.
612
00:40:56,854 --> 00:41:00,534
I'll help you. I can manage to bring
back four drinks on my own.
613
00:41:00,574 --> 00:41:02,814
I said, I'll help you!
614
00:41:16,294 --> 00:41:19,374
Miss Temple-Savage,
you are sure you're OK?
615
00:41:19,414 --> 00:41:23,214
When bleeding a radiator, it is
essential to have a third party
616
00:41:23,254 --> 00:41:26,334
to keep an eye on the boiler gauge.
It's essential.
617
00:41:26,374 --> 00:41:28,854
Maybe you need to lie down
for a while.
618
00:41:28,894 --> 00:41:33,934
I was once taken up the Valley
of the Kings by a close relation
of Alan Whicker. No regrets!
619
00:41:33,974 --> 00:41:37,534
Although I did get to meet
David Yip, the Chinese Detective.
620
00:41:37,574 --> 00:41:42,094
I didn't realise it was him till we
were halfway home in a taxi! OK...
621
00:41:42,134 --> 00:41:45,974
Listen. I am going now,
but if you need anything,
622
00:41:46,014 --> 00:41:48,294
please let me know. The group!
623
00:41:48,334 --> 00:41:51,054
Group?
I didn't book the group for tonight!
624
00:41:51,094 --> 00:41:55,054
It's OK. We can just do karaoke.
Karaoke? Not on my watch, soldier.
625
00:41:55,094 --> 00:41:58,774
Is that what Vera Lynn told the
troops in 1940? "Sing it yourself?"
626
00:41:58,814 --> 00:42:01,934
I'll do my Yma Sumac
from my old Ashby-de-la-Zouch days.
627
00:42:01,974 --> 00:42:04,134
They won't know what hit them!
628
00:42:04,174 --> 00:42:08,014
I'm warning you, Clive! Keep your
fat snout clear of my business.
629
00:42:08,054 --> 00:42:11,134
What you talking about?
I feel a connection with Geoff.
630
00:42:11,174 --> 00:42:14,774
I'm ready for a relationship.
The only relationships you have
631
00:42:14,814 --> 00:42:18,934
are standing up in pub car parks.
Maybe I'll settle for that tonight.
632
00:42:18,974 --> 00:42:22,614
I doubt it,
not with the state his feet are in!
633
00:42:22,654 --> 00:42:25,494
# That's my prayer, now
634
00:42:26,974 --> 00:42:29,574
♪ That's my prayer ♪
635
00:42:38,894 --> 00:42:42,734
I really enjoyed today!
You were right!
636
00:42:42,774 --> 00:42:47,494
You can do too much of lying
staring at a swimming pool.
637
00:42:47,534 --> 00:42:50,654
You're always going to have
a degree of beginner's luck.
638
00:42:50,694 --> 00:42:55,014
I think someone's jealous!
Don't be ridiculous.
639
00:42:55,054 --> 00:42:57,494
You are! You're jealous!
640
00:42:57,534 --> 00:42:59,894
No. You're right.
641
00:42:59,934 --> 00:43:04,414
Fair play to you, Jacqueline.
You played brilliantly.
642
00:43:04,454 --> 00:43:07,254
Here's to a great day out!
643
00:43:07,294 --> 00:43:09,654
I tell you what it did, as well.
644
00:43:09,694 --> 00:43:13,174
It made you forget that,
while you're here,
645
00:43:13,214 --> 00:43:17,494
your wife is sharing a bed with
my husband in the South of France.
646
00:43:21,414 --> 00:43:23,054
Whoops!
647
00:43:51,014 --> 00:43:53,334
# Whoo! What they do in Peru
648
00:43:53,374 --> 00:43:56,014
# Tusurikusun viditay... Whoo!
649
00:43:56,054 --> 00:43:59,454
So, is this really what passes for
entertainment round here?
650
00:43:59,494 --> 00:44:01,734
Oh, I love it.
It's very Martha Graham.
651
00:44:01,774 --> 00:44:04,854
What was your letter? Er, nothing.
652
00:44:04,894 --> 00:44:08,334
It's, er... just some details
about a trip.
653
00:44:08,374 --> 00:44:11,774
They do some great free trips
to the waterfall. Where's it to?
654
00:44:11,814 --> 00:44:16,134
No. It's, um... been cancelled.
655
00:44:16,174 --> 00:44:19,614
Gloria. Liked the song, son?
You were fabulous!
656
00:44:19,654 --> 00:44:22,094
You off out tonight?
657
00:44:22,134 --> 00:44:25,614
Meeting a few of the girls up
the Rich Bitch. I'd say join us,
658
00:44:25,654 --> 00:44:29,374
but I don't think it's your mother's
cup of tea. I might join you. No.
659
00:44:29,414 --> 00:44:32,934
Spend time with your mother.
She's not here for long. True.
660
00:44:32,974 --> 00:44:36,094
And we've got the rest of our lives
together. You said it.
661
00:44:36,134 --> 00:44:38,814
See you both tomorrow.
662
00:44:47,254 --> 00:44:50,454
She's got the moves,
I'll say that for her!
663
00:44:50,494 --> 00:44:53,894
Do you like to dance, Geoff?
Not really.
664
00:44:53,934 --> 00:44:57,574
I dunno. You busted some sick moves
on those hot coals today.
665
00:44:57,614 --> 00:45:00,814
Oh, you weren't sick as well,
were you?
666
00:45:00,854 --> 00:45:03,214
You've got a big day tomorrow!
667
00:45:03,254 --> 00:45:06,374
Oh, yeah?
What's happening tomorrow, Geoff?
668
00:45:06,414 --> 00:45:09,094
Nothing. Nothing at all.
669
00:45:09,134 --> 00:45:12,774
Oh, he does get shy! Mother...
670
00:45:12,814 --> 00:45:16,414
Geoff's fiancee's arriving tomorrow.
671
00:45:16,454 --> 00:45:20,094
# ..besame si,
en tus brazos me quiero morir
672
00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:22,614
# Cholito lindo, besame
673
00:45:22,654 --> 00:45:26,214
# Oh...
674
00:45:26,254 --> 00:45:28,454
# Oh...
675
00:45:28,494 --> 00:45:31,134
♪ Oh! ♪
676
00:45:32,731 --> 00:46:02,731
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
677
00:46:03,305 --> 00:46:09,150
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