1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Are you looking for series in italian? Find them on filmamo.it ! 2 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:38,160 I'm sorry, pal, there's no bar service until breakfast is finished. 3 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,880 Agh, shit. 4 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,040 Oh, buenos dias. You're heading out early? 5 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,760 But then the early birds do catch the worms. 6 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,440 Anything's gotta be better than the shite you're serving in there. 7 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,600 You've got to be joking? 8 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,200 Lesley? 9 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,560 Is this some kind of a joke? - Les. 10 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,720 I beg your pardon? - I'm Les, not Lesley. 11 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:30,040 I've been doing the job of three people lately, so I haven't even got time to wash my face of a morning, 12 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:34,560 never mind set my wig and put my makeup on. - Well, some of us manage it. 13 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,000 I don't mean I wear a wig, I just mean... 14 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,160 Oh, look, look at this sign. 15 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:43,120 Oh dear. I knew I shouldn't have left it to Baby Jesus. - Well, exactly. 16 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,080 When I get... 17 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:49,240 Baby Jesus? - You know, the soft lad. Jesus, in maintenance. 18 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:53,160 I thought we'd established his name was pronounced "Hejus"? 19 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,800 Bless ya. 20 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:58,080 Well, his son, Jesus Junior, has been helping out a bit. 21 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:02,440 And you call him Baby Jesus? - Well, yeah. He is only nine. 22 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,040 You mean to say we have a nine-year-old child 23 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:09,040 working part-time at the hotel? - Well, not officially. 24 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:12,440 We had to bring someone in to show us how to work the new computer. 25 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:16,320 Get this sign redone, mop up that water, and send Baby Jesus packing 26 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:21,160 before we all get closed down for child exploitation. Ugh! 27 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:25,200 Another day in paradise. Sure. 28 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:49,440 Well, here we are again, 29 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:53,520 just you, me, and our beloved Benidorm. 30 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,320 Well, we said we'd be back, 31 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:00,960 but I didn't realise it would be under these circumstances. 32 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,760 Oh, Donald, I do miss ya. 33 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:10,480 Are you there, boys? - We're gonna have another death on our hands at this rate. 34 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,760 That mountain path is a health hazard. 35 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,560 I knew I should've worn flats. 36 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,120 Kenny, please. - What? 37 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,160 A bit of respect for Jacqueline. 38 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,600 Oh, I'm sorry, Jacqueline. 39 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:25,400 It's just I'm more grazing sheep than mountain goat. - More moaning cow. 40 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:29,480 I do appreciate you boys coming up here with me. 41 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:33,280 Donald was so fond of both of you. 42 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:38,000 There was only one group of people he loved more than the gays, 43 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,040 and that was the straights. 44 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,040 Lovely, I think. 45 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,080 I don't think we're gonna need this after all, Kenneth. 46 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:49,560 Yeah, I don't know why you dragged that enormous thing 47 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:53,280 all the way up here. - Oh, I thought you wanted him to be here? 48 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,240 Very funny(!) Come on, help me get this set up. 49 00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,200 Donald's final wish was to be scattered all over Benidorm. 50 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,880 Do you really think he'd wanna be blown in your face? - Well... 51 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:10,400 Remember what happened when you brought Big Donna up here? - Oh, that's true. - We don't want any accidents. 52 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:15,680 This is just a gentle, controlled breath of wind to send Donald gently billowing across the bay. 53 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,480 What did happen when you brought Big Donna out here? 54 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:22,040 Donald and I came up here to scatter Big Donna's ashes. 55 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,000 Well, we got the wrong rocks, 56 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:27,440 and then we ended up throwing someone's head over the cliff, 57 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:31,400 but it wasn't Big Donna's. - Me and Liam ended up fishing it out of the sea. 58 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,440 Oh, I have missed this place. 59 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:48,000 Here you are, booking under the name of Dawson. Two doubles and a twin room. 60 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,880 I'll be with you in a minute. 61 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:53,200 Sorry, it's just that one of the doubles, it's a deluxe room, 62 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,440 and I need to know which one it is. - Right. 63 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,720 Let's have a look. 64 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:02,040 What did you say the name was? - Dawson, and can you hurry up, please? 65 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,280 I'm going as fast as I can, pal. - You're joking, aren't you? 66 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,440 Any slower, you'd be doing backwards. - I beg your pardon? 67 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:12,960 We made the booking, but then a few days later I called and I upgraded 68 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:17,200 one of the double rooms separately, and I need to know which one it is, 69 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,360 so can you hurry up? 70 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:23,040 Dad? - Shit. 71 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:27,320 What the hell do you think you're playing at? - Don't mention the deluxe room. 72 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,880 Don't mention what? - Shut up. - Hang on a minute. 73 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,320 What are you doing tearing off and leaving us with all your bags? 74 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,320 Why have you got three bags? We're only here for a week. 75 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:41,480 I can't understand how you manage with just one. Clothes maketh the man, Sheron. 76 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,840 I'm not wearing t'same clobber every day. 77 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:47,320 I've got all my things in one iddy biddy case, 78 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,880 and if y'all don't like that, y'all can kiss my sweet potato pie. 79 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,880 Look, I've told you before, darling, 80 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,880 I can't understand you when you talk daft like that. - Oh, leave her alone. 81 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,640 Jodie, stop being silly. 82 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,840 Stupid is as stupid does. Keep looking at me like that 83 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,040 and I'm gonna bitch slap you from here to kingdom come. 84 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:12,200 What did she just say? - She's just giddy from the coach ride. 85 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,080 Jodie, chill. - I'm thirsty. 86 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,120 We all are, love. Can we check in, please? 87 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,320 Three rooms under the name of Dawson. - No bother. 88 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:26,200 This gentleman here was just saying that one of the doubles... - Forget it, it's all sorted. 89 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,840 I've sorted it. - You just said that you wanted - 90 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,040 Yeah, well, it's all right now, OK? 91 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:35,120 Billy, why don't you go and get everybody set up by the pool and 92 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:40,800 I'll sort these cases out. It's the least I can do, innit, after leaving you with 'em. - No, you're all right. 93 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:44,960 We gonna get in t'rooms. - I don't really wanna lie by a pool in a pair of jeans. 94 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,400 Aye, where is the pool? - That way, 95 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,440 where is says "pool". 96 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:52,320 Right, well, come on, everybody out. 97 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,600 Don't spoil the surprise I've got for you. 98 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:58,680 Oh, what surprise? - When do we get the surprise? 99 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:02,480 What are you doing? - I'm just gonna find some shorts. 100 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,800 No, come on, out. I said I'll sort this lot. 101 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:11,640 Go on, get in the sun. 102 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,680 Now then, which is the deluxe room? 103 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,120 This one on the 15th floor. - Aye. 104 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,160 All the other rooms are on the tenth. 105 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,720 15th floor, nice one. Thanks, pal. 106 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,240 Hey, you can't leave all these other cases here, pal. 107 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,320 Yeah, yeah, I'll be back. 108 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,360 Uh-uh. 109 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,000 Can I help you, pal? - Oh, hello, mate. 110 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:39,920 Can you tell me who manager is here, please? - Joyce Temple-Savage, but she's a bit busy today. 111 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,040 That's fine. How long's she been here for? - Four years. 112 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,840 Why? - Brilliant. Can you tell her that I'm here? 113 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:49,200 I've got an interview to pull a few birds. I mean a few pints. 114 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,040 Have you applied for a job here before? - Me? No, 115 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,560 I've never been in this hotel in my life. 116 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:58,520 I've just got one of those faces. - You can say that again, pal. 117 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,560 Take a seat over there by the sign. 118 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,560 You're a star. Nice haircut. 119 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:07,320 I usually have a chestnut bob, but it's in the wash. 120 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,080 Hello, boys. You want to check in? - Yes, please. 121 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,240 The surnames are Dyke and Ellis. - Those are our surnames. 122 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,040 One each, cos it's him and me. 123 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,680 Thanks. Have you got your passport, son? 124 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,600 Yeah. You need them to get through the airport. 125 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,280 Tsk, give him your passport. - Oh, right. 126 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,280 Right, I've got you lads down for a twin room. 127 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,400 Yeah, we're on a bit of tight budget, unfortunately. 128 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,800 He's on a tight budget and I'm skint. - Right. 129 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:55,960 I tell you what. Let's see if I can sneak yous two into a deluxe twin. 130 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,280 They're much bigger than the standard, 131 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,720 give you lads a bit of breathing space. - Oh, wicked. 132 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:06,080 I've always thought size is quite important in the bedroom. - Yeah. 133 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,960 He ain't talking about his knob. He means the room. 134 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:15,200 He knows I meant the room. - Oh, right. Wicked. 135 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,080 It's just that he laughed, 136 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:20,560 so I thought he might think you meant your knob. - Nah, nah. 137 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,400 Everything's cool, bruv, yeah? - Yeah, sweet. 138 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,440 I'm sorry, boys, I haven't got a bigger room for tonight, 139 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:30,400 but if you wanna check with me in a couple of days, I might be able to move you. 140 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:35,320 Right, there's your room keys, wristbands, tenth floor. 141 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,600 Brilliant. Thanks very much. - Nay bother. 142 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,840 Oh, my God. Check out the fit Spanish birds at one o'clock. 143 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,240 Why do we have to wait until one o'clock? 144 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,000 Is it something to do with the time difference? 145 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,360 My dearest Donald, 146 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,880 so now is the time to say farewell. 147 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:06,520 Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. 148 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,560 It's been such an adventure. 149 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:14,360 But you always said don't cry because it's over, 150 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,280 smile because it happened. 151 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:24,000 Oh, and in all the years we had together, 152 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:28,880 you showed me a lot to smile about. 153 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,920 Remember, darling... 154 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:44,000 ..this is just adios and never goodbye. 155 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:46,680 Ooh, hang on a minute. 156 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,880 I don't think we need it, Kenneth. - Now, look, 157 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:53,600 do we want Donald sitting in a muddy puddle halfway down the mountain, 158 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:58,960 or do we want him billowing gently across the bay? - Billowing gently across the bay. - Exactly. 159 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,000 Bloody hell, I think it's rusted. - Oh, come here. 160 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:09,320 When was the last time you used this? - I got it to inflate Roger. - I beg your pardon? 161 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:13,800 A big inflatable man I used a couple of years ago. - Oh, dear God. - To advertise the salon. 162 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,280 Are you ready? 163 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,440 Oh, for God's sake, mind your fingers. 164 00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:22,520 Ooh, aagh! 165 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:25,080 Argh! - Oh, my God! Jacqueline! 166 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,880 Argh! - Jacqueline! 167 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,920 Jacqueline, are you OK?! 168 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,000 Yeah... 169 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,400 Yeah, I'm OK. 170 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,480 Did he get off all right? 171 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,080 Oh, yeah, there he is. 172 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,800 Adios, Donald. 173 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,840 Adios. 174 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:08,000 Well, thank you. Mr Bueno, 175 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,200 this is a very impressive CV. 176 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:15,360 Yes, very impressive. It's not actually my CV, 177 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,320 but I thought it might catch your attention. 178 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,360 I'm sorry, it's not your CV? 179 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,760 Nah. I downloaded it from the internet. 180 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:30,040 As a Doctor of Medicine, my CV would be highly inappropriate for bar work. 181 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,960 You're a doctor? - Yes. 182 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:38,600 You're a doctor and you're looking for bar work? - I'm afraid so. 183 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:43,320 My brother is a trained architect but he's currently working at the Rich Bitch Show Bar 184 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:47,760 as a cocktail waitress called Tammy. These are very difficult times 185 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,120 of austerity we are living in. 186 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,120 I'm sorry, Dr Bueno, but I think 187 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,040 you're vastly over-qualified for this job, 188 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:59,200 and it wouldn't seem right employing a doctor to work behind a bar. 189 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:03,000 Have you never heard of people diversifying? Look at Dr Dre. 190 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,480 He now sells headphones for a living. Hmm? 191 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:08,320 Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about. 192 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,240 You don't understand. I need this job. 193 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:17,720 Personally, I think you'd be much better suited, looking at... - No, no. 194 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:21,440 I can do this job, hmm? Looking after drunk tourists? 195 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,680 Mopping vomit? You don't think I've ever done this before? 196 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:29,280 I was a doctor in Benidorm, for God's sake! - Sorry, Dr Bueno, I think you'd better leave. 197 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:33,040 No, no, no, I can serve drinks, I can call the bingo. 198 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,560 Two fat ladies, clickety-click. 199 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,480 I can sing. Give me a job. I need a job! 200 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,720 Huh? 201 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:44,640 ♪ A-ga-doo-doo-doo 202 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:46,720 ♪ Push pineapple, shake the tree 203 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,760 ♪ A-ga-doo-doo-doo 204 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,760 ♪ Push pineapple, black coffee 205 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,880 ♪ To the left, to the right 206 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,840 ♪ Jump up and down and to the knees 207 00:13:54,880 --> 00:14:01,760 ♪ Come and dance every night and sing to the hula melody! ♪ 208 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,200 Argh! Help! Somebody help! 209 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,520 What's going on here, sunshine? - Give me this job. - Who are you? 210 00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:11,960 Do you want him out? - Yes, get him out! - Right, come here, you. 211 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,680 ♪ A-ga-doo-doo-doo... - Come on. 212 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,640 ♪ Push pineapple, black coffee... ♪ 213 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:30,240 I think I'll have a swim in my pants. - No, you won't. - I'll text him again. 214 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:34,560 What's the difference? They're still shorts, just boxer shorts. - I said no. 215 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:38,200 Would you like to be in a pool if your dad was swimming in his pants? 216 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:41,120 There is a difference. I change my pants. - Oi! 217 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:46,960 This is ridiculous. I'm going to the room. - You don't know where it is. - Why does your father always do this? 218 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,040 Oh, always do what? - Make life difficult. 219 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:53,400 ♪ I'm walkin' on sunshine, whey-hey 220 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,840 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whey-hey! ♪ 221 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:01,040 What about this, then, eh? It's not bad for day one, is it? 222 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,240 What have you been doing? - I've been getting changed. 223 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,320 You don't think I'm sitting down here 224 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,120 in my slacks and jacket, do you? 225 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:11,200 Dad, you told us to wait down here cos you had a surprise. 226 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:15,240 Well, what is it? - Er, I forgot. 227 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,360 You forgot? 228 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,760 Oh, yeah, that were it. I've got a new hat. Do you like it? 229 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,760 Right, here's your keys. 230 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:28,320 Tenth floor, you're in 10-26, the kids are in 10-25. 231 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:32,240 Now I asked 'em if they'd move your cases but they didn't look too keen, 232 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:35,920 so I'd check reception so see if they're still there, if I were you. 233 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,760 Right, time for a beer, I think. 234 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,280 Is he taking the piss? - He's old, you know what he's like. - Yeah, 235 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:47,760 I do know what he's like - and it's got nothing to do with him being old. 236 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,800 Where's Jodie? Where's she gone? 237 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,080 Jodie? 238 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:56,920 Darling, please don't go near the pool without your armbands. 239 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,400 She's all right. - She's not, she can't swim. 240 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:04,880 Right, shall we get these cases while the clothes still fit our Jodie? - Whey-hey, ladies and gentlemen, 241 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,880 Rob Dawson is on fire. - Yeah, I am in these bloody jeans. 242 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:13,400 Ohh. - Hey, you. Just chill out, yeah? We're supposed to be on holiday. 243 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:17,840 I know were are. I'm sorry, it's just... It's your dad, he winds me up. - Does he? 244 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,880 I can't say I've noticed. 245 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,440 Come on, you know what hotel rooms do to me. 246 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,720 No, what do they do? - They give me an uncontrollable urge 247 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:32,160 to use a trouser press wearing nothing but a shower cap and a filthy grin. 248 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,520 Well, let's get in that room. 249 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:40,280 You really should go to hospital. - I'm all right. 250 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,520 Oh, she's as strong as an ox, this one. 251 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,440 Kenneth's right. 252 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:49,800 I once pulled a Skoda Rapid across Newport Bridge 253 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,240 dressed as a bottle of strawberry Yazoo. 254 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:57,080 I told you, she needs medical attention. She's concussed. - It was all for charity. 255 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:00,560 And I'm sure I'd have got more than halfway 256 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,920 if Big Donna hadn't been steering. - Sounds perfectly normal to me. 257 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,640 If you're absolutely sure you don't need a doctor? 258 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,960 The only doctor she needs is Dr Kenneth and his magic scissors. 259 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:15,120 I'm gonna give you a free cut and blow-dry. - Oh, lovely. 260 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,240 I don't know about the pair of you, 261 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,720 but I could do with a Screaming Orgasm. 262 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:24,680 Let me get some drinks first. We can start planning your social life after I've done your hair. 263 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:29,400 Here's the keys to the salon. Put the kettle on, I'll be there in five. Morning, boys. 264 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,640 All right? - What do you think, then? 265 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,240 It's... It's like paradise. 266 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,800 Right, shall we grab a couple of sunbeds? 267 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:41,680 You get the sunbeds, I'm gonna have a swim before the tide goes out. 268 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,120 Well, first of all, Mr, er...? 269 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,840 Marcus. My name's Marcus. 270 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:57,560 First of all, Marcus, I must thank you most sincerely 271 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,400 for your help this morning. - What can I say? 272 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,640 When I see a beautiful lady in distress 273 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,640 I just switched to autopilot. 274 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:08,320 Oh, no, I meant you chucking that loony out that wanted the job. 275 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:10,560 Yeah, I know. - Sorry. 276 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:14,440 When you said "beautiful lady" I was a little confused 277 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,440 I didn't mean to embarrass you. I speak as I find. 278 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,640 Well... Yes, anyway, Um... 279 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:26,960 The thought of having you is most appealing, er, on our staff I mean. 280 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,760 But of course I am looking for an experienced man. 281 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,960 On the job... For the job... The job of barman. 282 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,120 Right, now, are you listening to me, Sergio? 283 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,440 Que? 284 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:44,520 You are now on the pool bar till two o'clock. 285 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,560 Go, go. 286 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:52,240 Ohh. No, no, not go home, go to the pool bar. 287 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,200 The pool bar. 288 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,120 Take your coat off. 289 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,160 No mas jacketa. 290 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:01,280 Tsk. 291 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,320 Do you have a CV? 292 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,680 Ah, I wrote down my contact details. - Ah. 293 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,600 Oh, other side. 294 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,640 Yes. 295 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,480 Do you have any experience working in the hotel industry, Mr, er...? 296 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,280 Horney? - Hornby. 297 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:30,960 Do you have any experience working in the hotel, Mr Horne... Hornby? 298 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,840 I'm gonna be honest with you, Joyce. 299 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,080 May I call you Joyce? 300 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,920 We're all one big happy family here, Marcus. 301 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,040 Where the hell do you think you're going, Sergio?! 302 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,800 You're supposed to be behind the pool bar?! 303 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:49,880 I know, I know, I no like it here. I go back to Barcelona. 304 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,160 Please continue. 305 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,120 Oh, that's a Picasso, right? 306 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,440 I doubt it. It was three euros at the Chinese bazaar. 307 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:07,440 Yeah, that's Picasso's bird of peace. Beautiful. 308 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:10,680 Where was I? Oh, yeah. 309 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:14,960 So I retired at 42, and I came to live in Benidorm. 310 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,040 The first five years I lived a very comfortable life. 311 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,240 I'd swim in my pool in the morning, 312 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:24,960 have a late lunch... - Sounds idyllic. 313 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,200 But I'm a very physical man, Joyce. 314 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:31,000 I can see that. - I tried to relax, live the easy life, 315 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,840 but I needed a project. To cut a long story short, 316 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,400 I started to dabble in the property market 317 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,480 just before the bottom fell out of it. 318 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,120 Joyce? 319 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,800 Ooh. I do apologise. I got confused. 320 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,440 I got as far as your bottom... 321 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,360 Anyway, since then I've been kind of living in denial. 322 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:54,160 But the fact is, you've got the one thing I need. 323 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,520 Really? Are you sure? 324 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,320 A job. I need a job, Joyce. 325 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,280 Yes, I understand that, Mr Hornby, 326 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,040 but we really do need someone with experience. 327 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:09,240 Joyce, I'm an open book. 328 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,800 What you see is what you get. 329 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,360 If you like what you see, it's yours. 330 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,840 How hard can it possibly get? 331 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,880 You tell me. 332 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,000 Come in. 333 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,640 I'm sorry, Mrs Temple-Savage, we're so low on staff now, 334 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,520 I'm not sure how we're going to get through the day. 335 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,640 I'm ready when you are, Joyce. 336 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,440 Thank you, Mr Hornby. I'll be in touch. 337 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:37,720 Ooh, I do hope so, Joyce. 338 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,400 He seems keen. 339 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,400 Want the last one in? - Yes, thank you. 340 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:52,960 Although, to be honest, Les, I think Mr Hornby could be the one. 341 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:57,640 On the job I mean. Er, for the job. - As long as he's got plenty of experience. 342 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,440 We haven't got time to be training someone up. 343 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,480 In you come, love. 344 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,880 This is Amber. 345 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,120 I'm on reception if you need me. 346 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,520 Hello, Amber. Do take a seat. 347 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,320 Joyce Temple-Savage. 348 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:19,080 Did you bring your CV with you? - Absolutely. 349 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:20,920 Here's my CV, three references, 350 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,000 my City & Guilds in Hotel Management and Catering, 351 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:27,160 my First Aid Training certificate, and my IPLQ. 352 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,720 International Pool Lifeguard Qualification. 353 00:22:48,540 --> 00:22:50,940 Are you all right, son? Where are the others? 354 00:22:50,980 --> 00:22:56,820 You shake 'em off at the pass? - They're unpacking. Why didn't you save the other sunbeds? 355 00:22:56,860 --> 00:22:59,060 What others? I'm all right on this one. 356 00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:01,380 The sunbeds for me, Sheron and the kids. 357 00:23:01,420 --> 00:23:03,940 Oh, I didn't think. 358 00:23:05,340 --> 00:23:10,180 Come on, there's some more beds over there. - I'm all right here, to be honest. - Ohh. 359 00:23:10,220 --> 00:23:12,820 What are you doing? I said I were all right here. 360 00:23:13,580 --> 00:23:15,820 The bar's too far away over there. 361 00:23:15,860 --> 00:23:18,500 We don't need to get our own drinks from the bar, 362 00:23:18,540 --> 00:23:20,780 that's why we had kids. - Oh, yeah. 363 00:23:24,860 --> 00:23:26,860 Here you are, these are fine. 364 00:23:29,580 --> 00:23:31,420 Billy. - Yes, Dad. 365 00:23:31,460 --> 00:23:34,420 I don't suppose you've had a word yet, have you, 366 00:23:34,460 --> 00:23:36,860 to Sheron about me moving in? 367 00:23:40,900 --> 00:23:42,900 Son? - Um... 368 00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:47,180 Well, it's not a great time, to be honest, Dad. 369 00:23:47,220 --> 00:23:50,700 But I've moved out of my flat. - What do you mean you've moved out? 370 00:23:50,740 --> 00:23:53,380 You know my flat, I've moved out of it. 371 00:23:53,420 --> 00:23:57,060 Why? Why would you do that? - Cos you said I could move in with you. 372 00:23:57,100 --> 00:24:00,140 I didn't mean it. I didn't mean right now. 373 00:24:00,180 --> 00:24:03,020 Where's all your stuff? - In Ron Pickford's garage. 374 00:24:03,060 --> 00:24:05,380 Who... Who's Ron Pickford? Ohh. 375 00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:17,020 You're very quiet, the pair of you. - Just relaxing. 376 00:24:17,060 --> 00:24:20,340 Aren't we, son? - Yeah, relaxing. 377 00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:27,020 Where are the kids? - Rob's taking Jodie to get an ice cream. 378 00:24:27,060 --> 00:24:30,580 I think it's time for a drink. - Oh, yeah, smashing. 379 00:24:30,620 --> 00:24:32,900 I'll have a beer. - Diet Coke for me. 380 00:24:32,940 --> 00:24:36,620 And I will have whisky and lemonade. 381 00:24:37,460 --> 00:24:40,580 No point drinking beer when the spirits are free as well. 382 00:24:44,740 --> 00:24:47,260 Will they be long, t'kids? I'm dry as a bone here. 383 00:24:47,300 --> 00:24:51,860 I thought you were going to get the drinks? - No point doing everything yourself, is there? 384 00:24:51,900 --> 00:24:54,020 That's what you have kids for, isn't it? 385 00:24:54,060 --> 00:24:58,980 What kind of thing is that to say? They're not slaves, you know? - I'll go. 386 00:24:59,020 --> 00:25:02,140 Beer for you, you want a Diet. - I beg your pardon? 387 00:25:02,180 --> 00:25:06,020 Diet Coke? Just checking. You know what my memory's like. 388 00:25:06,060 --> 00:25:08,220 I'll be a good ten minutes. 389 00:25:08,260 --> 00:25:10,140 I'm going for a Tom Tit first. 390 00:25:10,180 --> 00:25:13,180 I've been baking it since we disembarked in Alicante. 391 00:25:17,740 --> 00:25:19,740 And wash your hands. 392 00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:26,460 "You want a Diet"? - Diet Coke. He wanted to get your drink right. 393 00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:29,100 He knows exactly what he was saying. 394 00:25:29,140 --> 00:25:32,540 How did he end up coming with us? I don't remember inviting him. 395 00:25:32,580 --> 00:25:36,180 He's been through a very traumatic divorce, he needs this holiday. 396 00:25:36,220 --> 00:25:38,660 Mary's the one who deserves a holiday 397 00:25:38,700 --> 00:25:41,100 after 40 years married to him. 398 00:25:41,140 --> 00:25:44,860 Oh, well, I suppose we should be thankful for small mercies. 399 00:25:44,900 --> 00:25:47,580 At least we've only got him for a week. - Yeah. 400 00:25:51,620 --> 00:25:56,460 She's good. Young, and attractive, doesn't seem afraid of hard work. 401 00:25:57,500 --> 00:26:00,220 Yes. - I'm not sure why she brought her dad with her. 402 00:26:01,140 --> 00:26:03,580 Marcus and Amber are each on an unpaid shift. 403 00:26:03,620 --> 00:26:06,900 I'm sure, by the end of the day, we'll know who the man is for me. 404 00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:11,140 Or woman. For us. I mean at the Solana. 405 00:26:11,180 --> 00:26:13,780 Any problems, I'll be on my mobile. 406 00:26:15,020 --> 00:26:17,420 Nay bother, Mrs Tempest-Savage. 407 00:26:22,300 --> 00:26:25,140 You won't... You won't get it any cheaper than that. 408 00:26:26,060 --> 00:26:28,100 All right? Thank you, goodbye. 409 00:26:28,140 --> 00:26:32,300 I'm sorry about that. Now, listen, I want to talk about Picasso... 410 00:26:35,740 --> 00:26:37,100 Tsk. 411 00:26:40,140 --> 00:26:43,740 Kenneth, according to this, you haven't had any customers in weeks. 412 00:26:43,780 --> 00:26:47,620 If my nose were as long as yours, I'd have a lot more offers to sit on my face. 413 00:26:47,660 --> 00:26:51,660 You're not getting any offers of work. How do you pay your bills? Or the rent? 414 00:26:51,700 --> 00:26:55,540 Look, I have an arrangement. - Oh, God, here we go. 415 00:26:55,580 --> 00:26:57,580 No, it's not what you think. 416 00:26:58,620 --> 00:27:02,740 Basically, I'm rent-free. This place belongs to my Uncle Herbert. 417 00:27:02,780 --> 00:27:06,180 He even pays all the bills. - I knew it. - Shut up. He's a real uncle. 418 00:27:06,220 --> 00:27:10,580 Well, actually, he's not. He was a very good friend of my mother's, but he owns this 419 00:27:10,620 --> 00:27:14,780 and most of the other hairdresser's this side of Alicante. - So, Kenneth Du Beke, 420 00:27:14,820 --> 00:27:17,180 you've fallen on your stilettos once again. 421 00:27:17,220 --> 00:27:21,740 Let's face it, the less time I spend in here, the more time I get to spend with you two. 422 00:27:24,420 --> 00:27:26,740 Has she been all right? - Not really. 423 00:27:27,300 --> 00:27:30,380 She misses him terribly. They were like book ends. 424 00:27:30,420 --> 00:27:34,540 What, they usually had two or three people in between them? - No. Well, yeah. 425 00:27:34,580 --> 00:27:39,420 I mean they were always together. - When they didn't have two or three people in between them? 426 00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:44,980 It's funny, isn't it? Everyone thought Donald would go hanging upside side, 427 00:27:45,020 --> 00:27:48,820 bound and gagged, dressed as a naughty nurse. - You mean he didn't? - No. 428 00:27:48,860 --> 00:27:52,180 They both got into bed, turned out the light, fell asleep, 429 00:27:52,220 --> 00:27:55,100 at some point his heart just stopped beating. - Oh. 430 00:27:55,140 --> 00:28:00,460 I guess there's only so much fun you can pack into one lifetime. - Yeah. 431 00:28:00,500 --> 00:28:04,780 By that reckoning, your number should've been up years ago. - Oh, don't say that. 432 00:28:04,820 --> 00:28:07,660 Anyway, why are you only staying a weekend? 433 00:28:07,700 --> 00:28:12,500 I've got a salon to run myself. Do you know the kind? That has customers. - Oh, come on. 434 00:28:12,540 --> 00:28:17,060 She loves it here. What's more important, your salon or Jacqueline's happiness? 435 00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:22,500 I'll go and get us some more drinks. 436 00:28:27,260 --> 00:28:30,940 Oh, you're actually open today. - No. What gave you that impression? 437 00:28:30,980 --> 00:28:34,900 What's the point of having a salon which is never open? - Piss off! 438 00:28:34,940 --> 00:28:38,180 Oh... It's just banter. 439 00:28:38,220 --> 00:28:40,380 Are you checking in? 440 00:28:40,420 --> 00:28:43,460 Where have you been? - Oh, sorry about that, Joyce. 441 00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:46,460 Just had to nip outside for a bit of business. - Nip out? 442 00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:50,820 I'm supposed to be showing you how to check guests in. - Absolutely. I'm all ears. 443 00:28:50,860 --> 00:28:53,460 If you'll watch me. - Watch you? 444 00:28:53,500 --> 00:28:55,300 I can't take my eyes off you. 445 00:28:55,340 --> 00:28:57,180 Oh. - Hello? 446 00:28:57,220 --> 00:28:59,300 Sorry. Passports, please? 447 00:29:00,420 --> 00:29:04,700 Oh, there's the... Yes, now the computer is very old 448 00:29:04,740 --> 00:29:07,700 but terribly efficient. A bit like me. 449 00:29:07,740 --> 00:29:12,780 You make one more crack about your age, I'm gonna have to put you across my knee. 450 00:29:12,820 --> 00:29:15,420 He's a cheeky one, this one. 451 00:29:16,540 --> 00:29:18,900 Hold that thought, Joyce. 452 00:29:18,940 --> 00:29:20,940 Hello? 453 00:29:20,980 --> 00:29:24,100 Well, I'm a bit busy at the moment. Can I call back? 454 00:29:24,140 --> 00:29:27,780 What's it regarding? - Now, we've got keys here... - Yeah, listen, 455 00:29:27,820 --> 00:29:29,660 I'm in full-time employment. 456 00:29:29,700 --> 00:29:32,260 You'll get your payment within the next month. 457 00:29:34,140 --> 00:29:35,220 One second. 458 00:29:35,260 --> 00:29:37,700 Gracias. Same to you, mate. 459 00:29:38,100 --> 00:29:40,100 Um, Marcus, 460 00:29:40,940 --> 00:29:43,740 I think we're going to have to set a few boundaries. 461 00:29:43,780 --> 00:29:46,340 Joyce, I just wanna thank you so much for this job. 462 00:29:46,380 --> 00:29:49,260 You're very welcome. I... I beg your pardon? 463 00:29:49,300 --> 00:29:53,500 They say that Benidorm is a lonely city when your back's against the wall. 464 00:29:53,540 --> 00:29:56,500 But the moment I looked into those big blue eyes 465 00:29:56,540 --> 00:29:59,980 I knew you were the one. - I'm sorry? The one? 466 00:30:00,020 --> 00:30:03,180 To save me. - Well, I haven't actually offered you the job. 467 00:30:03,220 --> 00:30:06,900 I'm gonna lay myself bare in front of you, Joyce. 468 00:30:06,940 --> 00:30:08,660 What, here? 469 00:30:08,700 --> 00:30:12,340 I've got nothing. I'm stony broke. I've got debts up to here. 470 00:30:12,940 --> 00:30:15,620 It's a shame I'm not a bit taller. 471 00:30:15,660 --> 00:30:19,660 I appreciate all that... - You... are an angel sent from heaven. 472 00:30:19,700 --> 00:30:24,300 I don't think you understand how I feel at the moment. I could kiss you. 473 00:30:29,140 --> 00:30:30,980 Ohh! 474 00:30:31,020 --> 00:30:32,820 What now? 475 00:30:32,860 --> 00:30:34,860 How many times have I got to tell you? 476 00:30:35,460 --> 00:30:36,820 Sorry. 477 00:30:41,020 --> 00:30:44,060 Oh, buenos dias. Welcome to the Solana. 478 00:30:44,100 --> 00:30:46,100 Thank you. 479 00:30:49,820 --> 00:30:53,140 Oh, my God. - Oh, ain't it? 480 00:30:53,180 --> 00:30:55,660 Never seen them that size before. 481 00:30:55,700 --> 00:30:59,820 Really? Oh, mate, I've gotta email you some links. 482 00:30:59,860 --> 00:31:02,140 How would you get your mouth up to them? 483 00:31:02,180 --> 00:31:04,180 Start by buying her a drink. 484 00:31:04,220 --> 00:31:08,740 They're made of plastic, right? - Nah, man, those are the real deal. 485 00:31:09,620 --> 00:31:11,860 I think I just might be in with a chance. 486 00:31:11,900 --> 00:31:14,940 What are you talking about? - What are you talking about? 487 00:31:14,980 --> 00:31:17,620 Those massive straws on the bar. 488 00:31:18,180 --> 00:31:20,620 I was talking about the girl behind the bar. 489 00:31:20,660 --> 00:31:22,180 What girl? 490 00:31:22,220 --> 00:31:25,820 Oh, the one behind the bar. Yeah, she's fit. 491 00:31:30,780 --> 00:31:33,220 Same again, please. 492 00:31:33,260 --> 00:31:35,060 Those went down well. 493 00:31:35,100 --> 00:31:37,900 Are you here for the week? - What it gotta do with you? 494 00:31:43,020 --> 00:31:45,020 You've got some admirers. 495 00:31:46,820 --> 00:31:50,300 Oh. Comes with the job, doesn't it? 496 00:31:50,340 --> 00:31:52,340 Not for all of us. 497 00:31:54,020 --> 00:31:56,340 So, you've worked in Benidorm before? 498 00:31:56,380 --> 00:32:00,860 Yeah. I was at The Regency for a year, then at El Jardin 499 00:32:00,900 --> 00:32:03,020 and Altaya for two. - Bloody hell. 500 00:32:03,060 --> 00:32:05,060 This must be a step down for you. 501 00:32:05,100 --> 00:32:07,740 Certain people with tattoos and broken noses. 502 00:32:07,780 --> 00:32:10,340 I prefer my men with a bit of character. 503 00:32:10,380 --> 00:32:12,980 I was talking about the women. 504 00:32:13,580 --> 00:32:16,500 Excuse me, love, can I get a drink? - Hola. Same again? 505 00:32:16,540 --> 00:32:21,020 You know that woman you were with earlier? Blonde hair, blue suit, 506 00:32:21,060 --> 00:32:24,340 good-looking. Is she the manager? 507 00:32:24,380 --> 00:32:26,380 What's it got to do with you? 508 00:32:31,900 --> 00:32:34,940 Oh, are you getting in? - Is it cold? 509 00:32:34,980 --> 00:32:38,820 At first, but you get used to it. Where's your inflatable ring? 510 00:32:38,860 --> 00:32:40,860 Do you want me to get it for you? 511 00:32:44,940 --> 00:32:47,300 Are you getting in? - In a minute. 512 00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:50,420 Can you swim? - No, not really. 513 00:32:51,100 --> 00:32:54,060 There's only one way to learn. 514 00:33:01,260 --> 00:33:02,980 Diet Coke, your Sheron? Diet? 515 00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:08,500 Oh, my God! Jodie! 516 00:33:09,180 --> 00:33:11,180 Bloody hell! 517 00:33:13,780 --> 00:33:15,780 Oh, shit! 518 00:33:20,700 --> 00:33:22,700 Oh! Oh! 519 00:33:23,300 --> 00:33:26,820 Come here, come here, darling. Don't worry, I'm here. 520 00:33:26,860 --> 00:33:28,500 Oh, sweetheart. 521 00:33:28,540 --> 00:33:31,660 She's OK, she's all right, thank you so much. 522 00:33:31,700 --> 00:33:35,380 He kicked me, he kicked me. - Who kicked you? Are you all right, darling? 523 00:33:35,420 --> 00:33:39,660 Course she's not, she nearly drowned! - Granddad kicked me into the pool. 524 00:33:39,700 --> 00:33:41,700 What? - Don't be ridiculous. 525 00:33:42,940 --> 00:33:45,140 You... didn't kick her in, did you, Dad? 526 00:33:51,460 --> 00:33:53,700 Well, I might have just nudged her. 527 00:33:54,260 --> 00:33:56,900 A bit. - Nudged her? Nudged her?! 528 00:33:56,940 --> 00:34:01,140 She nearly friggin' drowned! - I told him I couldn't swim, 529 00:34:01,180 --> 00:34:05,300 but he told me there's only one way to learn, and he kicked me in. - What?! 530 00:34:05,340 --> 00:34:06,700 Come here! - No, no. 531 00:34:06,740 --> 00:34:09,580 Come here! - No. - Let me at him! Get off me! 532 00:34:09,620 --> 00:34:12,380 I'll kill him, I'll bloody kill him! 533 00:34:12,900 --> 00:34:15,220 What's going on? - Dad, go inside. 534 00:34:15,260 --> 00:34:19,140 She's all right. A couple of gobs full of water is not gonna kill her. 535 00:34:19,180 --> 00:34:22,460 I'll wring his friggin' head off! - Come on, calm down. 536 00:34:22,500 --> 00:34:25,180 Just calm down. - Argh! 537 00:34:34,260 --> 00:34:37,780 I wanna do karaoke. - We'll do it tomorrow night, darling. 538 00:34:37,820 --> 00:34:41,260 You need to rest. - She doesn't need to rest, we're on holiday. 539 00:34:41,300 --> 00:34:46,340 She needs to enjoy herself. - - I wanna do my karaoke and get my groove on. 540 00:34:46,380 --> 00:34:50,940 Right, we can go down for an hour if you stop doing that silly voice. 541 00:34:51,660 --> 00:34:54,140 It's open. 542 00:34:56,580 --> 00:35:00,540 What's going on? Are we getting something to eat or what? I'm starving. 543 00:35:01,860 --> 00:35:03,860 Well? 544 00:35:09,700 --> 00:35:12,740 ♪ Every night I grab some money and I go down to the bar... 545 00:35:14,740 --> 00:35:17,340 Thanks very much, enjoy your evening. 546 00:35:17,380 --> 00:35:22,220 You seemed to do very well today, Amber. Very well indeed. 547 00:35:22,260 --> 00:35:25,780 Thank you, Mrs Temple-Savage. - And I heard all about the incident 548 00:35:25,820 --> 00:35:28,820 in the pool today. You did very well there, too. 549 00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:30,540 Oh, thank you. 550 00:35:30,580 --> 00:35:35,460 But this job isn't just working hard and saving children's lives. 551 00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:39,340 If only. It's about experience. 552 00:35:39,380 --> 00:35:43,660 I gave you my references. I've had a lot of experience. 553 00:35:43,700 --> 00:35:46,380 I'm talking about life experience. 554 00:35:47,620 --> 00:35:51,340 I think we're possibly looking for a more mature applicant. 555 00:35:52,020 --> 00:35:53,700 Oh. 556 00:35:53,740 --> 00:35:58,420 Thanks for hanging around for another hour, Amber. You've done great again. 557 00:35:58,460 --> 00:36:03,660 God, Les, fancy dress. You didn't tell me it was fancy dress. 558 00:36:03,700 --> 00:36:08,100 Do you do this every night? You look hilarious. 559 00:36:08,540 --> 00:36:12,740 No, it's not fancy dress, and I'm Lesley. 560 00:36:13,740 --> 00:36:16,660 When I'm dressed like this I'm Lesley. 561 00:36:16,700 --> 00:36:20,700 Oh, God, sorry, Les. I mean Lesley. 562 00:36:21,300 --> 00:36:25,220 Thank you for today, Amber. I've got one more person to see this evening, 563 00:36:25,260 --> 00:36:29,540 then I'm going to sleep with my decision. Er, sleep on it. 564 00:36:29,580 --> 00:36:32,100 My decision. I mean... 565 00:36:32,140 --> 00:36:34,140 I'll be in touch. 566 00:36:34,180 --> 00:36:35,620 OK. 567 00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:37,660 I hope to hear from you. 568 00:36:38,780 --> 00:36:41,380 I'm sorry about that, Les... ley. 569 00:36:41,420 --> 00:36:45,420 Um, thanks for all your help today. - Nay bother, young 'un. You did great. 570 00:36:49,300 --> 00:36:52,940 Are you sure you're not gonna take her on? She's a grafter. - Lesley, 571 00:36:52,980 --> 00:36:54,980 the girl's practically a child. 572 00:36:55,020 --> 00:36:58,460 We need somebody with maturity and experience. - Joyce, 573 00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:03,740 are we all set? I thought we could do a bit of tapas in the Old Town and then maybe catch a movie. 574 00:37:03,780 --> 00:37:07,420 Mr Hornby, I think there's been a misunderstanding. 575 00:37:07,460 --> 00:37:11,180 I asked to see you this evening to assess your application. 576 00:37:11,220 --> 00:37:13,260 Oh. Oh, right. 577 00:37:13,300 --> 00:37:15,860 Yeah, no worries. 578 00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:17,900 I'll wait for you in reception. 579 00:37:18,580 --> 00:37:22,140 Well, I hope you enjoy your final assessment. 580 00:37:22,180 --> 00:37:24,420 I'm not sure I like your attitude, Lesley. 581 00:37:24,460 --> 00:37:27,060 I'm not sure I'm too struck with yours, either. 582 00:37:27,100 --> 00:37:28,940 Excuse me? - Yes, pal. 583 00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:30,540 Two beers coming up. 584 00:37:30,580 --> 00:37:34,700 ♪ My daddy never noticed, now he'll finally get the point 585 00:37:34,740 --> 00:37:36,260 ♪ Ohh! 586 00:37:36,300 --> 00:37:39,380 ♪ You got me beggin' on my knees, c'mon and throw the dog a bone 587 00:37:39,420 --> 00:37:41,380 ♪ A man he doesn't live - - I want to sing. 588 00:37:41,420 --> 00:37:43,300 Rob, go and see if there's a book. 589 00:37:43,340 --> 00:37:46,940 ♪ Baby, baby, rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew... 590 00:37:46,980 --> 00:37:50,700 French night. All regular dishes, excluding hotpot, 591 00:37:50,740 --> 00:37:53,500 will be served with garlic mayonnaise. 592 00:37:53,540 --> 00:37:57,340 I'm gonna text my dad, tell him to come and have his tea with us. 593 00:37:57,380 --> 00:38:00,460 He's obviously keeping a low profile. - Or, instead, 594 00:38:00,500 --> 00:38:04,340 you could leave him wherever he is, you know, just to be on the safe side, 595 00:38:04,380 --> 00:38:07,780 considering I've still got one child he hasn't tried to kill. 596 00:38:08,500 --> 00:38:12,500 There you go. Do you want me to help you choose one? - Yes. 597 00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:15,620 He didn't try and kill Jodie. Don't be so dramatic. 598 00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:19,100 My dad's not a well man. - He won't be if he comes anywhere near me. 599 00:38:21,580 --> 00:38:27,060 Have you chosen one, darling? - Yeah. I's gonna be Beyonce with the big ol' booty. 600 00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:29,380 I'll go and put it in for you. 601 00:38:29,420 --> 00:38:31,420 Oh, come here. 602 00:38:32,780 --> 00:38:35,540 I love you. - Hey, woman, don't mess with my weave. 603 00:38:35,580 --> 00:38:37,900 I gotta show my ass off on that there stage. 604 00:38:38,940 --> 00:38:40,940 ♪ Dead ringer for love 605 00:38:41,900 --> 00:38:43,900 ♪ Dead ringer for love 606 00:38:44,900 --> 00:38:47,340 ♪ Dead ringer for love... 607 00:38:47,380 --> 00:38:51,300 Mr Hornby, Marcus, I'd just like to set the record straight. - Great. 608 00:38:51,340 --> 00:38:56,100 I'm extremely flattered by your very obvious interest. - Oh, yeah, well, 609 00:38:56,140 --> 00:38:59,820 I really need this job. - No, I meant in me. 610 00:38:59,860 --> 00:39:04,140 Oh, I have to go through whatever it takes to get me on the payroll. 611 00:39:04,180 --> 00:39:06,140 Go through... What does that mean? 612 00:39:06,180 --> 00:39:08,940 Look, we both know I'm not exactly cut out 613 00:39:08,980 --> 00:39:11,860 for working in a shitty three-star hotel. 614 00:39:11,900 --> 00:39:15,340 I beg your pardon? - If I'm absolutely honest, all I need is proof 615 00:39:15,380 --> 00:39:18,780 I'm in full-time employment. I won't bore you with the details, 616 00:39:18,820 --> 00:39:21,660 but I do realise, if I'm being paid to ride the bike, 617 00:39:21,700 --> 00:39:25,380 I've gotta pump the tyres up every now and then. - What? 618 00:39:25,420 --> 00:39:31,100 I thought that was the arrangement we were both driving at. - Oh, no, Mr Hornby, there's no "arrangement". 619 00:39:31,140 --> 00:39:33,340 Apart from the fact I have a job vacancy, 620 00:39:33,380 --> 00:39:37,020 which you're clearly unqualified in both experience and attitude. 621 00:39:37,060 --> 00:39:39,460 But I've said I don't want the job, 622 00:39:39,500 --> 00:39:42,700 all I need to know is are you gonna put me on the payroll? 623 00:39:42,740 --> 00:39:45,900 No, I'm not. Are you stupid? Now get out of my hotel! 624 00:39:45,940 --> 00:39:48,060 All right, all right, no need to shout. 625 00:39:48,980 --> 00:39:51,460 I'll say goodbye, then. - Goodbye, Mr Hornby. 626 00:39:51,500 --> 00:39:54,620 Is everything all right, Joyce? - You? 627 00:39:54,660 --> 00:39:57,500 What? - You don't remember me, do you? 628 00:39:57,540 --> 00:40:01,540 No, mate, and I've got a very good memory for faces. - Oh, really? 629 00:40:01,580 --> 00:40:04,180 Even for people you've beaten up, robbed, 630 00:40:04,220 --> 00:40:06,020 and tied to a hotel radiator? 631 00:40:06,060 --> 00:40:10,300 And you stole mine and my husband's mobile phones. 632 00:40:10,340 --> 00:40:12,340 Four years ago. 633 00:40:13,140 --> 00:40:15,140 Shit. 634 00:40:17,420 --> 00:40:19,420 Right, come on, I need a drink. 635 00:40:20,020 --> 00:40:23,660 I was gonna run after him, but I thought if I catch him I'll kill him. 636 00:40:26,140 --> 00:40:30,020 ♪ I wish you wouldn't make made me leave here 637 00:40:32,060 --> 00:40:36,700 ♪ I poured it on and I poured it out 638 00:40:37,620 --> 00:40:39,740 ♪ I tried to show you - This is amazing. 639 00:40:39,780 --> 00:40:43,500 Yeah, it's not bad. - No, I mean we can eat and drink as much as we like. 640 00:40:43,540 --> 00:40:48,220 Yeah. Do you want another drink? - Definitely. Do they have a Happy Hour? - No. 641 00:40:48,260 --> 00:40:50,540 Oh, that's a shame. 642 00:40:50,580 --> 00:40:54,860 Why would they have a Happy Hour? All the drinks are free. - Oh, right. 643 00:40:54,900 --> 00:40:58,020 It's a shame though, isn't it? A Happy Hour would be nice. 644 00:41:01,580 --> 00:41:04,540 ♪ All I can do 645 00:41:04,580 --> 00:41:07,900 ♪ Is keep on telling you I want you - 646 00:41:07,940 --> 00:41:12,180 Hey, Joe, are we still going out into Benidorm to watch the football? 647 00:41:12,220 --> 00:41:16,540 Definitely, but listen. We should turn our phones off while the game's on. 648 00:41:16,580 --> 00:41:20,180 Why's that? - It would be quite tempting to text the lads at home 649 00:41:20,220 --> 00:41:22,420 with the score. That's not really fair. 650 00:41:22,460 --> 00:41:25,900 Why isn't it fair? - It'll spoil it for them, won't it? 651 00:41:25,940 --> 00:41:27,940 Cos we're an hour in front. 652 00:41:32,020 --> 00:41:33,980 I'll get the drinks. 653 00:41:34,020 --> 00:41:36,500 ♪ Now don't be sad 654 00:41:36,540 --> 00:41:40,940 ♪ Cos two out of three ain't bad... ♪ 655 00:41:44,340 --> 00:41:46,340 Oh. 656 00:41:50,340 --> 00:41:52,380 Oh, oh. 657 00:41:57,380 --> 00:41:59,860 ♪ Bye, bye, baby 658 00:41:59,900 --> 00:42:01,900 ♪ Baby, goodbye... ♪ 659 00:42:06,500 --> 00:42:10,100 ♪ Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man 660 00:42:10,140 --> 00:42:11,700 ♪ No time to talk 661 00:42:11,740 --> 00:42:14,940 ♪ Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around 662 00:42:14,980 --> 00:42:17,780 ♪ Since I was born, but now it's all right 663 00:42:17,820 --> 00:42:19,060 ♪ It's OK 664 00:42:19,100 --> 00:42:21,740 ♪ You may look the other way... - When's it me? 665 00:42:21,780 --> 00:42:25,100 They'll call your name. - Oh, can't you tell them to hurry up? 666 00:42:25,140 --> 00:42:27,860 What, you want me to ask them to sing faster? 667 00:42:27,900 --> 00:42:33,660 He's not answering. - Maybe someone's kicked him in the pool? - Sheron, that's not funny. - No, it's not. 668 00:42:33,700 --> 00:42:37,340 Excuse me, but are you with a Mr Eddie Dawson, Room 1505? 669 00:42:37,380 --> 00:42:39,380 No. - Yeah. Yes, we are. 670 00:42:39,420 --> 00:42:42,860 I think he's had some sort of accident in his room. 671 00:42:42,900 --> 00:42:44,900 Oh, my God! Come on! 672 00:42:44,940 --> 00:42:49,900 OK, the last karaoke singer tonight is Jodie. - It's me, it's me. 673 00:42:49,940 --> 00:42:53,700 We'll have to do it tomorrow night. - No, now! - I can't leave you here. 674 00:42:53,740 --> 00:42:56,580 There's something wrong with your granddad. - Agh! 675 00:42:56,620 --> 00:43:00,340 Lesley, there is someone in reception asking for you. - Thank you. 676 00:43:01,620 --> 00:43:05,740 Come on, what are you playing at? That's my father in there. 677 00:43:05,780 --> 00:43:09,380 What's wrong with him? - I dunno. We can't get in. 678 00:43:09,420 --> 00:43:11,420 Get out of the way. 679 00:43:15,140 --> 00:43:17,140 What is it, Dad? 680 00:43:17,180 --> 00:43:20,860 Is it your heart? No, it's my back. 681 00:43:20,900 --> 00:43:22,980 It's locked. 682 00:43:23,020 --> 00:43:25,700 Sit me up. Careful. Ohh! Ohh! 683 00:43:26,380 --> 00:43:29,140 Oh, that's it. 684 00:43:29,180 --> 00:43:31,660 Oh, that's it. Oh, thank God for that. 685 00:43:31,700 --> 00:43:34,100 How the friggin' hell did you get this room? 686 00:43:35,220 --> 00:43:37,980 I don't know. Why, is yours not the same? 687 00:43:38,020 --> 00:43:42,820 You know it's not the same! That's why you ran up to the rooms on your own, to get the best one. 688 00:43:42,860 --> 00:43:47,420 Have you seen our room? It's an absolutely shithole. - It's not that bad. - Shut up! 689 00:43:47,460 --> 00:43:53,300 I don't know why, but this diet you're on really seems to be putting you on edge. - I'll... - Come on. 690 00:43:53,340 --> 00:43:55,340 Get off me! Get off me! 691 00:43:56,540 --> 00:43:58,940 I'm going to kill you! Get off me! 692 00:43:58,980 --> 00:44:01,620 Get off! 693 00:44:04,700 --> 00:44:06,620 Come in. 694 00:44:06,660 --> 00:44:08,940 How did you get on? - Get on? 695 00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:11,140 With your fella? 696 00:44:11,180 --> 00:44:13,340 Did you hire him? - No, no, I didn't. 697 00:44:13,380 --> 00:44:17,260 Between you and me, Lesley, they say there's no fool like an old fool, 698 00:44:17,300 --> 00:44:20,780 and I've just been made to look the biggest fool of them all. Again. 699 00:44:20,820 --> 00:44:23,380 So, will you be hiring the young lass? 700 00:44:23,420 --> 00:44:26,100 Or are you still looking for someone, you know, 701 00:44:26,140 --> 00:44:28,540 a bit more mature, with more experience? 702 00:44:28,580 --> 00:44:30,780 I'm a silly, vain old woman, Lesley. 703 00:44:30,820 --> 00:44:34,340 I knew Marcus... Mr Hornby would be useless, 704 00:44:34,380 --> 00:44:37,700 but I even juggled the books so I could hire the girl as well. 705 00:44:37,740 --> 00:44:42,100 That's what you get for trying to eat your cake and have it. - So you are still looking? 706 00:44:42,140 --> 00:44:45,380 I can't go through all this again. - I don't think you'll have to. 707 00:44:45,420 --> 00:44:49,100 Someone came in the Solana tonight looking for work. 708 00:44:55,060 --> 00:44:59,380 Mrs Temple-Savage, Lesley tells me you were looking for staff. 709 00:44:59,420 --> 00:45:04,420 Mateo, I thought you'd gone to live in Madrid. - Yes, I've been working in Madrid, 710 00:45:04,460 --> 00:45:07,140 but sometimes you have to follow your heart. 711 00:45:07,180 --> 00:45:11,940 Benidorm is my home, and if you will have me, I would love to work at the Solana again. 712 00:45:13,740 --> 00:45:15,620 When can you start? 713 00:45:15,660 --> 00:45:17,660 Not for another... 714 00:45:18,460 --> 00:45:20,620 ten, 15 minutes at least. 715 00:45:23,300 --> 00:45:24,620 Right. 716 00:45:24,660 --> 00:45:26,780 Come on, team, we've got a hotel to run. 717 00:45:33,300 --> 00:45:34,980 Yes! 718 00:45:35,305 --> 00:45:41,508 Please rate this subtitle at %url% Help other users to choose the best subtitles