1
00:00:00,842 --> 00:00:03,003
Watch this, it's really cool.
2
00:00:03,508 --> 00:00:04,987
Call Leonard Hofstadter.
3
00:00:05,821 --> 00:00:08,686
Did you say:
"Call Hellen Boxlightner?
4
00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:15,023
Call Leonard Hofstadter.
5
00:00:15,745 --> 00:00:18,712
Did you say:
"Call Temple Badsaidor?"
6
00:00:21,157 --> 00:00:22,411
Let me try!
7
00:00:23,665 --> 00:00:24,784
Call...
8
00:00:28,391 --> 00:00:30,451
Calling "Rajesh Koothrappali."
9
00:00:37,377 --> 00:00:38,998
That's very impressive.
10
00:00:40,051 --> 00:00:41,460
And a little racist.
11
00:00:42,737 --> 00:00:45,187
If we're all through playing
"mock the flawed technology,"
12
00:00:45,361 --> 00:00:46,641
can we get on with Halo night?
13
00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:49,111
We were supposed to start at
8:00. It is now 8:06.
14
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,979
So we'll start now.
15
00:00:51,133 --> 00:00:53,594
First we have to decide
if those lost six minutes will be coming
16
00:00:53,714 --> 00:00:56,046
out of game time, bathroom time
or the pizza break.
17
00:00:56,218 --> 00:00:57,891
We could split it
two, two and two.
18
00:00:58,180 --> 00:01:01,460
If we're having anchovies on the pizza,
we can't take it out of bathroom time.
19
00:01:02,269 --> 00:01:04,119
Oh, what fresh hell is this?
20
00:01:05,417 --> 00:01:07,624
- Hey, Penny. Come on in.
- Hey, guys.
21
00:01:07,820 --> 00:01:09,093
See a Penny, pick her up,
22
00:01:09,317 --> 00:01:11,584
and all the day
you'll have good luck.
23
00:01:14,543 --> 00:01:15,643
No, you won't.
24
00:01:16,463 --> 00:01:17,968
Can I hide out here for a while?
25
00:01:18,141 --> 00:01:19,490
Sure. What's going on?
26
00:01:19,742 --> 00:01:22,280
There's this girl I know
from back in Nebraska, Christy.
27
00:01:22,434 --> 00:01:24,836
She called me up,
and she's like, "Hey, how's California?"
28
00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:27,238
And I'm like, "Awesome,"
'cause, you know, it's not Nebraska.
29
00:01:27,431 --> 00:01:28,678
And the next thing I know
30
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:30,941
she's invited herself
out here to stay with me.
31
00:01:31,101 --> 00:01:32,276
8:08.
32
00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:37,286
Anyway, she got here today
and she's just been in my apartment
33
00:01:37,406 --> 00:01:39,606
yakity yakking about every guy
she slept with in Omaha,
34
00:01:39,741 --> 00:01:41,389
which is basically
every guy in Omaha,
35
00:01:41,509 --> 00:01:43,106
and washing the sluttiest
36
00:01:43,305 --> 00:01:46,050
collection of underwear
you have ever seen in my bathroom sink.
37
00:01:46,170 --> 00:01:48,925
Is she doing it one thong at a time,
or does she throw it all in...
38
00:01:49,661 --> 00:01:52,208
...like some sort
of erotic bouillabaisse?
39
00:01:54,184 --> 00:01:56,486
- He really needs to dial it down.
- I know.
40
00:01:58,289 --> 00:02:00,963
So if you don't like this Christy,
why are you letting her stay?
41
00:02:01,133 --> 00:02:02,589
She was engaged to my cousin
42
00:02:02,732 --> 00:02:05,494
while she was sleeping with my brother,
so she's kind of family.
43
00:02:07,455 --> 00:02:09,268
I apologize for my
earlier outburst.
44
00:02:09,485 --> 00:02:11,185
Who needs Halo,
when we can be regaled
45
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,983
with the delightfully folksy
tale of the Whore of Omaha?
46
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:17,570
I don't think she's a whore.
47
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,639
No, yeah, she's definitely a whore.
48
00:02:19,778 --> 00:02:22,151
I mean, she has
absolutely no standards.
49
00:02:22,347 --> 00:02:24,121
This one time she was at...
50
00:02:24,873 --> 00:02:25,873
Where's Howard?
51
00:02:26,073 --> 00:02:28,909
Bonjour, mademoiselle.
I understand you're new in town.
52
00:02:30,741 --> 00:02:31,878
Oh, good grief.
53
00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:56,668
Subtitles: swsub.com
54
00:03:00,843 --> 00:03:04,181
I cannot believe Christy
let Howard into my apartment.
55
00:03:05,534 --> 00:03:07,477
And I cannot believe people
pay for horoscopes,
56
00:03:07,597 --> 00:03:08,904
but on a more serious note,
57
00:03:09,054 --> 00:03:10,906
it's 8:13 and we're
still not playing Halo.
58
00:03:12,719 --> 00:03:15,206
Fine. We'll just play one-on-one
until he gets back.
59
00:03:15,407 --> 00:03:19,401
One-on-one? We don't play one-on-one.
We play teams, not one-on-one.
60
00:03:19,608 --> 00:03:20,707
One-on-one.
61
00:03:21,749 --> 00:03:25,734
The only way we can play teams
at this point is if we cut Raj in half.
62
00:03:26,078 --> 00:03:27,653
Sure, cut the foreigner in half.
63
00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:30,197
There's a billion more
where he came from.
64
00:03:30,849 --> 00:03:32,450
If you guys need a fourth, I'll play.
65
00:03:32,656 --> 00:03:34,428
- Great idea.
- No.
66
00:03:36,168 --> 00:03:38,018
The wheel was a great idea,
67
00:03:39,259 --> 00:03:40,668
relativity was a great idea.
68
00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:43,232
This is a notion,
and a rather sucky one at that.
69
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:45,231
Why?
70
00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:46,198
Why?
71
00:03:46,410 --> 00:03:47,715
Oh, Penny, Penny, Penny.
72
00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,239
What, what, what?
73
00:03:50,141 --> 00:03:53,079
This is a complex battle simulation
with a steep learning curve.
74
00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:55,607
There are myriad weapons,
vehicles and strategies
75
00:03:55,742 --> 00:03:58,616
to master, not to mention
an extremely intricate backstory.
76
00:03:59,767 --> 00:04:02,317
Oh cool.
Whose head did I just blow off?
77
00:04:03,314 --> 00:04:04,314
Mine.
78
00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:08,030
Okay, I got this.
Lock and load, boys.
79
00:04:09,437 --> 00:04:11,196
It's the only way we can play teams.
80
00:04:11,414 --> 00:04:13,436
Yes, but whoever's her
partner will be hamstrung
81
00:04:13,571 --> 00:04:15,809
by her lack of experience,
and not to mention the fact...
82
00:04:16,079 --> 00:04:17,893
There goes your head again.
83
00:04:19,472 --> 00:04:22,469
It's not good sportsmanship
to shoot somebody who's just re-spawned.
84
00:04:22,589 --> 00:04:24,804
You need to to give them a chance to...
Now, come on!
85
00:04:25,554 --> 00:04:27,545
Raj, Raj!
She's got me cornered. Cover me!
86
00:04:27,813 --> 00:04:29,290
Cover this, suckers!
87
00:04:31,376 --> 00:04:34,573
- Penny, you are on fire!
- Yes, and so is Sheldon.
88
00:04:36,548 --> 00:04:39,337
Okay, that's it.
I don't know how, but she is cheating.
89
00:04:39,457 --> 00:04:42,831
No one can be that attractive
and this skilled at a video game.
90
00:04:43,247 --> 00:04:45,387
Wait, Sheldon, come back.
You forgot something.
91
00:04:45,757 --> 00:04:46,760
What?
92
00:04:47,068 --> 00:04:48,518
This plasma grenade.
93
00:04:51,526 --> 00:04:53,073
Look, it's raining you.
94
00:04:54,856 --> 00:04:57,846
You laugh now-- you just wait
until you need tech support.
95
00:04:59,838 --> 00:05:02,126
Gosh, he's kind of
a sore loser, isn't he?
96
00:05:02,304 --> 00:05:04,889
To be fair, he's also
a rather unpleasant winner.
97
00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:07,605
Well, it's been fun.
98
00:05:08,252 --> 00:05:09,655
We make such a good team.
99
00:05:09,823 --> 00:05:12,544
Maybe we could enter a couple
of Halo tournaments sometime.
100
00:05:13,255 --> 00:05:15,205
Or we could just have a life.
101
00:05:16,808 --> 00:05:18,958
I guess for you that's an option.
102
00:05:19,665 --> 00:05:21,055
- Good night.
- Good night.
103
00:05:21,198 --> 00:05:22,760
As usual, nice talking to you, Raj.
104
00:05:24,808 --> 00:05:26,688
What do you suppose
she meant by that?
105
00:05:27,903 --> 00:05:29,315
She's an enigma, Raj.
106
00:05:30,340 --> 00:05:32,923
And another thing-- there's
a certain ethic to the game, Penny,
107
00:05:33,043 --> 00:05:34,937
- a well- established...
- She's gone.
108
00:05:36,162 --> 00:05:37,782
She could have said good-bye.
109
00:05:39,098 --> 00:05:41,061
Okay, I have a problem.
110
00:05:41,506 --> 00:05:44,497
It's called carpal tunnel syndrome,
and quite frankly you deserve it.
111
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:47,650
What's wrong?
112
00:05:48,287 --> 00:05:49,657
Howard and Christy are...
113
00:05:49,909 --> 00:05:52,262
kind of hooking up
in my bedroom.
114
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:55,403
Are you sure?
115
00:05:55,575 --> 00:05:56,946
I grew up on a farm, okay?
116
00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:58,877
From what I heard,
they're either having sex
117
00:05:59,012 --> 00:06:00,847
or Howard's caught
in a milking machine.
118
00:06:03,768 --> 00:06:05,351
Do you mind if I stay here tonight?
119
00:06:05,682 --> 00:06:07,950
No, take the couch, or my bed.
120
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,587
I just got new pillows.
Hypo-allergenic.
121
00:06:11,778 --> 00:06:12,974
The couch is good.
122
00:06:13,237 --> 00:06:15,340
Hold that thought.
Leonard, a moment.
123
00:06:19,603 --> 00:06:21,436
Let me guess.
You have a problem with this.
124
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:24,120
- Where do I begin?
- It's up to you. Crazy person's choice.
125
00:06:25,587 --> 00:06:27,950
First, we don't have houseguests.
126
00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:30,908
Frankly, if I could afford
the rent, I'd ask you to leave.
127
00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:34,528
Your friendship means
a lot to me as well. What else?
128
00:06:35,029 --> 00:06:36,029
Well...
129
00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:39,093
our earthquake supplies.
We have a two-man, two-day kit.
130
00:06:39,283 --> 00:06:40,168
So?
131
00:06:40,306 --> 00:06:43,506
So if there's an earthquake
and the three of us are trapped here,
132
00:06:43,718 --> 00:06:46,339
we could be out of food
by tomorrow afternoon.
133
00:06:47,336 --> 00:06:49,545
I'm sorry, are you suggesting
that if we let Penny stay
134
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:51,522
we might succumb to cannibalism?
135
00:06:51,907 --> 00:06:54,492
No one ever thinks it'll
happen until it does.
136
00:06:56,463 --> 00:06:58,770
If you promise not to
chew the flesh off our bones
137
00:06:58,925 --> 00:07:00,738
while we sleep, you can stay.
138
00:07:02,181 --> 00:07:05,181
- What?
- He's engaging in reductio ad absurdum.
139
00:07:06,866 --> 00:07:09,012
It's the logical fallacy
of extending someone's argument
140
00:07:09,132 --> 00:07:11,374
to ridiculous proportions
and then criticizing the result.
141
00:07:11,528 --> 00:07:13,232
And I do not appreciate it.
142
00:07:14,690 --> 00:07:16,754
I'll get you a blanket and a pillow.
143
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:19,842
Okay, since I'm obviously
being ignored here,
144
00:07:20,542 --> 00:07:22,143
let's go over the morning schedule.
145
00:07:22,298 --> 00:07:24,263
I use the bathroom
from 7:00 to 7:20.
146
00:07:24,602 --> 00:07:26,859
Plan your ablutions and bodily
functions accordingly.
147
00:07:28,697 --> 00:07:30,687
How am I supposed to plan
my bodily functions?
148
00:07:30,954 --> 00:07:33,106
I suggest no liquids after 11:00 p.m.
149
00:07:34,318 --> 00:07:36,418
- Here you go.
- Thanks, Leonard.
150
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,370
Wrong.
151
00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:43,951
I'm listening.
152
00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:45,910
Your head goes on the other end.
153
00:07:46,418 --> 00:07:48,992
- Why?
- It's culturally universal. A bed,
154
00:07:49,204 --> 00:07:50,372
even a temporary bed,
155
00:07:50,526 --> 00:07:53,113
is always oriented with the headboard
away from the door.
156
00:07:53,344 --> 00:07:57,488
It serves the ancient imperative
of protecting oneself against marauders.
157
00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,153
I'll risk it.
158
00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:04,585
Anything else should I know?
159
00:08:04,771 --> 00:08:06,483
Yes, if you use my toothbrush,
160
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:08,257
I'll jump out that window.
161
00:08:10,154 --> 00:08:12,720
Please don't come to my funeral.
Have a good night.
162
00:08:15,519 --> 00:08:16,585
Sorry about that.
163
00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:18,466
- That's okay.
- FYI--
164
00:08:18,682 --> 00:08:22,106
his toothbrush is the red one in
the Plexiglas case under the UV light.
165
00:08:22,786 --> 00:08:23,786
Got it.
166
00:08:25,075 --> 00:08:26,677
- Sleep tight.
- Thanks
167
00:08:30,491 --> 00:08:32,555
Funny expression,
"sleep tight."
168
00:08:35,146 --> 00:08:37,232
It refers to the early
construction of beds
169
00:08:37,406 --> 00:08:39,736
which featured a mattress
suspended on interlocking ropes,
170
00:08:39,871 --> 00:08:41,472
which would occasionally...
171
00:08:41,801 --> 00:08:42,801
Sleep tight.
172
00:09:58,588 --> 00:09:59,765
What are you doing?
173
00:10:03,316 --> 00:10:05,282
Every Saturday
since we've lived in this apartment
174
00:10:05,476 --> 00:10:07,817
I have awakened at 6:15,
poured myself a bowl of cereal,
175
00:10:07,991 --> 00:10:09,707
added a quarter cup
of two percent milk,
176
00:10:09,916 --> 00:10:12,622
sat on this end of this couch,
turned on BBC America,
177
00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:14,358
and watched Doctor Who.
178
00:10:15,456 --> 00:10:16,923
Penny's still sleeping.
179
00:10:18,112 --> 00:10:20,195
Every Saturday
since we've lived in this apartment
180
00:10:20,349 --> 00:10:22,520
I have awakened at 6:15,
poured myself a bowl
181
00:10:22,649 --> 00:10:25,058
I know.
You have a TV in your room.
182
00:10:25,184 --> 00:10:27,159
Why don't you just have
breakfast in bed?
183
00:10:27,347 --> 00:10:30,825
Because I am neither an invalid,
nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day.
184
00:10:33,082 --> 00:10:34,185
What time is it?
185
00:10:34,725 --> 00:10:35,863
Almost 6:30.
186
00:10:36,154 --> 00:10:37,505
I slept all day?
187
00:10:38,803 --> 00:10:40,597
No, it's 6:30 in the morning.
188
00:10:41,551 --> 00:10:43,413
What the hell is your problem?
189
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:47,439
Okay, this cereal has lost
all its molecular integrity.
190
00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:49,454
I now have a bowl
of shredded wheat paste.
191
00:10:51,562 --> 00:10:52,930
Hola, nerd-migos.
192
00:10:56,741 --> 00:10:58,689
Why do you people hate sleep?
193
00:10:59,835 --> 00:11:01,355
Are you wearing my robe?
194
00:11:03,546 --> 00:11:05,147
Yeah.
Sorry, I'll have it cleaned.
195
00:11:05,283 --> 00:11:06,830
That's okay, keep it.
196
00:11:08,490 --> 00:11:10,637
- Where's Christy?
- In the shower.
197
00:11:11,047 --> 00:11:13,181
By the way, where did you
get that loofah mitt?
198
00:11:13,374 --> 00:11:15,953
Yours reaches places
that mine just won't.
199
00:11:20,504 --> 00:11:21,954
You used my loofah?
200
00:11:22,659 --> 00:11:25,057
More precisely,
weused your loofah.
201
00:11:25,461 --> 00:11:27,389
I exfoliated her brains out.
202
00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:31,666
You can keep that, too.
203
00:11:32,533 --> 00:11:36,474
Then we'll probably need to talk
about your stuffed bear collection.
204
00:11:39,082 --> 00:11:40,238
In here, milady!
205
00:11:42,839 --> 00:11:44,899
Here's my little engine that could.
206
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,406
There's one beloved
children's book I'll never read again.
207
00:11:53,209 --> 00:11:54,945
Hi. Christy.
208
00:11:56,227 --> 00:11:57,674
- I'm Sheldon.
- Right.
209
00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,242
You're Howard's entourage.
210
00:12:02,062 --> 00:12:03,644
So, Christy, what are your plans?
211
00:12:04,220 --> 00:12:07,191
Howard said he'd take
me shopping in Beverly Hills.
212
00:12:07,547 --> 00:12:10,337
Yeah, no, I meant plans to find
someplace to live.
213
00:12:10,473 --> 00:12:12,561
Other than with me.
Not that I don't love having you,
214
00:12:12,696 --> 00:12:14,221
but it's...
It's a little crowded.
215
00:12:14,375 --> 00:12:16,341
Penny, you're always
welcome to stay with us.
216
00:12:16,461 --> 00:12:19,207
Oh, terrific.
Now we're running a cute little B & B.
217
00:12:20,619 --> 00:12:22,654
Let me offer a little
outside-the-box thinking here.
218
00:12:22,774 --> 00:12:24,355
Why doesn't Christy stay with me?
219
00:12:24,554 --> 00:12:26,676
- You live with your mother.
- I do not.
220
00:12:26,849 --> 00:12:28,354
My mother lives with me.
221
00:12:29,613 --> 00:12:31,851
Then it's all settled.
Christy will stay with Howard,
222
00:12:32,005 --> 00:12:33,574
Penny can go back to her apartment,
223
00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:35,772
and I'll watch the last 24 minutes
of Doctor Who.
224
00:12:36,003 --> 00:12:39,003
Although at this point,
it's more like Doctor Why Bother?
225
00:12:40,406 --> 00:12:43,711
- Sheldon, you just can't dictate...
- No more talking! Everybody go!
226
00:12:44,914 --> 00:12:48,539
So what do you say?
Want to repair to Casa Wolowitz?
227
00:12:48,672 --> 00:12:50,987
What is that, like a Mexican deli?
228
00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:53,428
I'm sorry,
I should have mentioned this earlier.
229
00:12:53,601 --> 00:12:55,164
My last name is Wolowitz.
230
00:12:56,974 --> 00:12:58,112
That's so cool.
231
00:12:58,548 --> 00:12:59,646
My first Jew.
232
00:13:03,715 --> 00:13:06,993
I imagine there aren't very many
Kosher Cornhuskers.
233
00:13:09,415 --> 00:13:11,093
But you're still taking me shopping?
234
00:13:11,239 --> 00:13:12,280
Anything you want.
235
00:13:12,421 --> 00:13:14,380
Okay, I'll go pack my stuff.
236
00:13:17,287 --> 00:13:20,747
When they perfect human cloning,
I'm going to order 12 of those.
237
00:13:23,071 --> 00:13:24,759
Can't you see she's using you?
238
00:13:24,933 --> 00:13:28,044
Who cares? Last night,
she pulled off her blouse and I wept.
239
00:13:28,762 --> 00:13:31,294
I know her. Okay?
She'll have sex with anyone,
240
00:13:31,449 --> 00:13:33,466
as long as
they keep buying her things.
241
00:13:34,003 --> 00:13:35,481
- Really?
- Yeah.
242
00:13:39,613 --> 00:13:43,725
If you'll excuse me,
I have some Bar Mitzvah bonds to cash.
243
00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:53,512
I'm sorry, we cannot do this
without Wolowitz.
244
00:13:54,104 --> 00:13:56,670
We can't order Chinese
food without Wolowitz?
245
00:13:57,075 --> 00:13:59,676
Let me walk you through it.
Our standard order is:
246
00:13:59,933 --> 00:14:02,259
the steamed dumpling appetizer,
General Tso's chicken,
247
00:14:02,414 --> 00:14:04,242
beef with broccoli,
shrimp with lobster sauce
248
00:14:04,416 --> 00:14:05,854
and vegetable lo mein.
249
00:14:06,097 --> 00:14:07,655
Do you see the problem?
250
00:14:09,526 --> 00:14:10,876
I see a problem.
251
00:14:11,658 --> 00:14:15,055
Our entire order is predicated
on four dumplings and four entrees
252
00:14:15,306 --> 00:14:16,792
divided amongst
four people.
253
00:14:19,975 --> 00:14:22,448
- So, we'll just order three entrees.
- Fine.
254
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:25,127
What do you want to eliminate?
And who gets the extra dumpling?
255
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:26,768
We could cut it into thirds.
256
00:14:26,913 --> 00:14:29,244
Then it's no longer a dumpling.
Once you cut it open it is,
257
00:14:29,398 --> 00:14:31,175
at best, a very small open-faced
sandwich.
258
00:14:33,045 --> 00:14:34,164
Hi, fellas.
259
00:14:34,638 --> 00:14:38,168
Where's your annoying little friend
who thinks he speaks Mandarin?
260
00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:41,365
He's putting his needs ahead of
the collective good.
261
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,817
Where he comes from,
that's punishable by death.
262
00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:46,442
I come from Sacramento.
263
00:14:51,018 --> 00:14:53,629
Can we get an order of dumplings
but with three instead of four?
264
00:14:53,816 --> 00:14:54,816
No substitutions.
265
00:14:55,721 --> 00:14:57,940
This isn't a substitution.
It's a reduction.
266
00:14:58,278 --> 00:14:59,828
Okay.
No reductions.
267
00:15:01,381 --> 00:15:03,913
Fine. Bring us three orders
of dumplings.
268
00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:06,281
- That's 12. We'll each have four.
- That works.
269
00:15:06,503 --> 00:15:09,027
If we fill up on dumplings,
we need to eliminate another entree.
270
00:15:09,292 --> 00:15:10,409
No eliminations.
271
00:15:12,247 --> 00:15:14,367
If we have extra,
we'll just take the leftovers home.
272
00:15:14,487 --> 00:15:17,971
And divide it how? I'm telling you,
we cannot do this without Wolowitz.
273
00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:19,797
Wolowitz is with his new girlfriend.
274
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,447
If you had let me invite Penny,
then you would have had your fourth.
275
00:15:22,592 --> 00:15:24,202
Have you seen Penny
eat Chinese food?
276
00:15:24,355 --> 00:15:26,679
She uses a fork and she
double-dips her egg rolls.
277
00:15:27,504 --> 00:15:29,154
- We don't order egg rolls.
- Exactly,
278
00:15:29,327 --> 00:15:30,797
but we'd have to if she was here!
279
00:15:31,012 --> 00:15:32,401
Can we please
make a decision?
280
00:15:32,550 --> 00:15:34,423
Not only are there children
starving in India,
281
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,198
there's an Indian starving right here.
282
00:15:38,509 --> 00:15:41,343
There's an idea. Why don't we
just go out for Indian food?
283
00:15:43,046 --> 00:15:44,221
You're nice boys.
284
00:15:44,457 --> 00:15:45,866
Tell you what I'm going to do.
285
00:15:46,039 --> 00:15:47,940
I'm going to bring you
the four dumplings.
286
00:15:48,060 --> 00:15:50,865
When I'm walking over to the
table, maybe I get bumped,
287
00:15:51,057 --> 00:15:53,867
one of the dumplings fall to the floor.
No one has to know.
288
00:15:55,817 --> 00:15:56,817
I'll know.
289
00:16:02,947 --> 00:16:05,312
- How about soup?
- Yeah, we can always divide soup.
290
00:16:05,525 --> 00:16:07,001
What about the wontons?
291
00:16:13,856 --> 00:16:15,032
Hey, guys, what's up?
292
00:16:15,245 --> 00:16:16,480
It's Halo night.
293
00:16:21,196 --> 00:16:22,196
So?
294
00:16:23,298 --> 00:16:26,286
With Wolowitz spending all of his time
with your friend Christy...
295
00:16:26,466 --> 00:16:30,074
She's not my friend. Friends do not get
their friends' Care Bears all sweaty.
296
00:16:31,406 --> 00:16:34,982
Right. Anyway, uh, with Wolowitz
occupied elsewhere,
297
00:16:35,156 --> 00:16:36,989
we had something
we wanted to ask you.
298
00:16:38,772 --> 00:16:39,772
Yes.
299
00:16:43,991 --> 00:16:45,806
We would very much appreciate it
300
00:16:45,926 --> 00:16:48,276
if you would be the fourth
member of our Halo team.
301
00:16:49,335 --> 00:16:52,943
I don't think I need to tell
you what an honor this is.
302
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:58,467
That's so sweet, but I'm going out
dancing with a girlfriend.
303
00:16:58,899 --> 00:17:01,049
You can't go out;
it's Halo night.
304
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:05,289
- Well, for Penny, it's dancing night.
- You go dancing every Wednesday?
305
00:17:05,529 --> 00:17:07,593
- No.
- Then that's not "dancing night."
306
00:17:09,444 --> 00:17:11,154
Why don't I play
with you guys tomorrow?
307
00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:14,417
Tonight is Halo night.
It's like talking to a wall.
308
00:17:15,733 --> 00:17:18,279
All right, now, Sheldon,
you and I are about to have a problem.
309
00:17:21,309 --> 00:17:23,328
Sheldon, remember,
we role-played this.
310
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,027
Yes, but you didn't portray her
as completely irrational.
311
00:17:26,825 --> 00:17:28,853
All right, fellas,
I gotta go.
312
00:17:28,995 --> 00:17:30,132
But good luck.
313
00:17:33,638 --> 00:17:37,110
Maybe we should've asked if we could go
dancing with her and her girlfriend.
314
00:17:37,354 --> 00:17:39,410
Assuming we could dance--
which we can't--
315
00:17:39,584 --> 00:17:41,716
there are three of us
and two of them.
316
00:17:41,871 --> 00:17:42,700
So?
317
00:17:42,855 --> 00:17:45,366
It's the Chinese restaurant
all over again.
318
00:17:46,216 --> 00:17:48,284
I assure you that
cutting a dumpling in thirds
319
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:50,281
is child's play compared with three men
320
00:17:50,416 --> 00:17:52,741
each attempting to dance
with 67% of a woman.
321
00:17:54,929 --> 00:17:58,198
For God's sakes, Sheldon,
you're driving me crazy!
322
00:17:58,475 --> 00:18:00,800
Your anger is not with me, sir,
but with basic mathematics.
323
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:02,574
I'm pretty sure my anger is with you.
324
00:18:02,728 --> 00:18:05,396
What's happening to us?
We're falling apart.
325
00:18:07,373 --> 00:18:09,620
- Who are you calling?
- The only man who can restore
326
00:18:09,774 --> 00:18:12,149
any semblance of
balance to our universe.
327
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,234
Hi, this is Howard Wolowitz.
328
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:15,941
And this is Christy Vanderbelt.
329
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:19,289
We can't get to the phone
right now because we're having sex!
330
00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:23,998
You're not going to put that
on your message, are you?
331
00:18:24,159 --> 00:18:26,670
Nah, I'm just kidding.
I'll re-record it.
332
00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:33,052
Sheldon, think this through.
You're going to ask Howard to choose
333
00:18:33,207 --> 00:18:34,432
between sex and Halo.
334
00:18:34,663 --> 00:18:38,219
No, I'm going to ask him to choose
between sex and Halo Three.
335
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,811
As far as I know, sex
has not been upgraded
336
00:18:40,965 --> 00:18:44,033
to include Hi-Def graphics
and enhanced weapon systems.
337
00:18:44,298 --> 00:18:47,932
You're right, all sex has is nudity,
orgasms and human contact.
338
00:18:48,565 --> 00:18:49,565
My point.
339
00:18:51,591 --> 00:18:54,581
You can take the damn plastic
off the couch once in a while!
340
00:18:54,722 --> 00:18:56,796
Why, so you and Howard
can hump on it?!
341
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,933
Ladies, ladies,
I'm sure there's a middle ground.
342
00:19:01,142 --> 00:19:02,358
Shut up, Howard!
343
00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:06,788
You guys talk. I'm gonna take
my scooter out for a little spin.
344
00:19:06,981 --> 00:19:09,329
You happy? You drove
your own son out of the house.
345
00:19:09,522 --> 00:19:10,911
Why don't you stop...
346
00:19:11,065 --> 00:19:12,384
What are you doing here?
347
00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:13,988
It's Halo night.
348
00:19:14,642 --> 00:19:16,127
He's not a man, he's a putz!
349
00:19:16,306 --> 00:19:18,690
And don't you take that tone with me,
you gold digger!
350
00:19:18,810 --> 00:19:20,492
- What'd you call me?
- You heard me!
351
00:19:20,687 --> 00:19:23,670
And I'll tell you something else,
you're barking up the wrong tree.
352
00:19:23,882 --> 00:19:26,866
'Cause as long as you're around,
Howard is out of the will!
353
00:19:27,097 --> 00:19:30,434
You know what?
I got better offers. I'm outta here.
354
00:19:30,599 --> 00:19:33,473
That's right.
Go back to Babylon, you whore!
355
00:19:37,539 --> 00:19:38,889
So, Halo night, huh?
356
00:19:41,544 --> 00:19:43,609
I thought she was the whore of Omaha.
357
00:19:49,545 --> 00:19:52,747
Sheldon, you got him in your sights!
Fire! He's charging his plasma rifle!
358
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,648
I can't shoot now. I'm cloaking!
359
00:19:54,879 --> 00:19:56,927
- Raj! Kill Sheldon!
- I can't see him!
360
00:19:57,352 --> 00:19:59,428
That's why they call it
cloaking, dead man!
361
00:19:59,915 --> 00:20:02,265
- Start throwing grenades!
- I'm all out!
362
00:20:03,273 --> 00:20:05,379
Hey, guys.
My friends and I got tired of dancing,
363
00:20:05,553 --> 00:20:07,736
so we came over to
have sex with you.
364
00:20:08,179 --> 00:20:09,561
Raj, hop in the tank!
365
00:20:09,681 --> 00:20:12,338
- We said no tanks!
- There are no rules in hell!
366
00:20:13,366 --> 00:20:15,903
Son of a bitch. Med pack!
I need a med pack!
367
00:20:17,849 --> 00:20:18,849
Told ya.
368
00:20:19,889 --> 00:20:21,663
There's a sniper.
Use your rocket launcher!
369
00:20:21,894 --> 00:20:24,275
All I've got is a Needler
and I'm all out of ammo!
370
00:20:24,441 --> 00:20:26,254
And now you're out of life.
371
00:20:28,559 --> 00:20:29,697
Why'd you hit pause?
372
00:20:30,202 --> 00:20:32,385
I thought I heard... something.
373
00:20:32,743 --> 00:20:33,746
What?
374
00:20:33,996 --> 00:20:35,367
No, never mind.
Sorry. Go.