1 00:00:08,997 --> 00:00:11,023 Damn you, walletnook.com! 2 00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:13,805 Problem? 3 00:00:13,959 --> 00:00:16,226 The online description was completely misleading. 4 00:00:16,410 --> 00:00:18,991 They said: "8 slots plus removable ID". 5 00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:22,175 To any rational person, that would mean room for nine cards. 6 00:00:22,329 --> 00:00:26,265 But they don't tell you the removable ID takes up one slot. It's a nightmare. 7 00:00:27,829 --> 00:00:32,030 Do you really need the Honorary Justice League of American membership card? 8 00:00:33,578 --> 00:00:36,337 It's been in every wallet I've owned since I was five. 9 00:00:37,312 --> 00:00:38,286 Why? 10 00:00:38,701 --> 00:00:41,402 It says "Keep this on your person at all times." 11 00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:44,547 It's right here under Batman's signature. 12 00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:49,902 ...and this is Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. 13 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,819 Guess whose parents just got broadband. 14 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:55,167 Leonard, may I present, live from New Delhi, 15 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,019 Dr. and Mrs. V. M. Koothrappali. 16 00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:59,316 Hi! Tilt up the camera up! 17 00:00:59,514 --> 00:01:01,085 I'm looking at his crotch. 18 00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:02,414 Sorry, Papa. 19 00:01:02,619 --> 00:01:04,023 Oh, that's much better. Hi. 20 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:07,307 And over here is Sheldon. 21 00:01:08,911 --> 00:01:10,114 He lives with Leonard. 22 00:01:10,541 --> 00:01:13,160 That's nice. Like Haroon and Tanvir. 23 00:01:13,383 --> 00:01:14,841 Not like Haroon and Tanvir. 24 00:01:15,133 --> 00:01:16,395 Such sweet young men. 25 00:01:16,662 --> 00:01:19,864 They just adopted the cutest little Punjabi baby. 26 00:01:20,265 --> 00:01:22,407 No, we're not like Haroon and Tanvir. 27 00:01:23,447 --> 00:01:25,390 So, are you boys academics like our son? 28 00:01:25,633 --> 00:01:26,486 Yes. 29 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,299 And your parents are comfortable with your limited earning potential? 30 00:01:29,474 --> 00:01:30,728 - Oh, yes. - Not at all. 31 00:01:31,145 --> 00:01:32,581 Papa, please. Don't start. 32 00:01:32,763 --> 00:01:34,970 It was just a question. He's so sensitive. 33 00:01:35,121 --> 00:01:37,533 That's my life. That's my friends. Good to see you. Say good-bye. 34 00:01:37,745 --> 00:01:39,713 - Bye. - Wait! Wait! 35 00:01:41,879 --> 00:01:43,712 Before you go, we have good news. 36 00:01:43,905 --> 00:01:45,776 Put the computer down and gather your friends. 37 00:01:50,912 --> 00:01:52,569 - What is it, Papa? - Friends! 38 00:01:54,183 --> 00:01:55,823 Is it just me, or does web chatting 39 00:01:55,997 --> 00:01:58,042 with your clothes on seem a little pointless? 40 00:02:00,233 --> 00:02:01,680 Do you rember Lalita Gupta? 41 00:02:02,069 --> 00:02:05,796 The little fat girl that used to kick me in the samosas and call me untouchable? 42 00:02:05,989 --> 00:02:08,941 Yes. Well, now she's a dental student at USC, 43 00:02:09,328 --> 00:02:11,307 so we gave her your contact information. 44 00:02:11,955 --> 00:02:13,181 Why did you do that? 45 00:02:13,370 --> 00:02:15,854 You're 26 years old, Rajesh. We want grandchildren. 46 00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:19,491 - But, Papa, I'm not supposed... - Lalita's parents approved the match. 47 00:02:20,118 --> 00:02:22,897 If you decide on a spring wedding, we can avoid monsoon season. 48 00:02:23,264 --> 00:02:24,595 A spring wedding?! 49 00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:26,934 It's up to you, dear. We don't want to meddle. 50 00:02:27,093 --> 00:02:28,945 If you don't want to meddle, then why are you? 51 00:02:29,157 --> 00:02:31,723 If I may, your parents probably don't consider this meddling. 52 00:02:31,896 --> 00:02:33,814 While arranged marriages are no longer the norm, 53 00:02:33,982 --> 00:02:35,410 Indian parents continue to have 54 00:02:35,564 --> 00:02:37,995 a greater-than-average involvement in their children's love lives. 55 00:02:38,310 --> 00:02:40,566 Why are you telling me about my own culture? 56 00:02:41,665 --> 00:02:42,900 You seemed confused. 57 00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:47,016 Sorry, but with all due respect, I really don't want to... 58 00:02:47,198 --> 00:02:48,765 I'm sorry, darling. We have to go. 59 00:02:49,021 --> 00:02:50,390 Doogie Howser is on. 60 00:02:51,603 --> 00:02:53,609 Grandma! It's Doogie Time! 61 00:02:54,227 --> 00:02:55,577 - Bye-bye! - Bye-bye! 62 00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:00,436 I don't believe it. 63 00:03:00,651 --> 00:03:01,651 Neither do I. 64 00:03:01,844 --> 00:03:04,440 Doogie Howser's been off the air for like 20 years. 65 00:03:05,557 --> 00:03:06,869 Actually, I read somewhere 66 00:03:07,043 --> 00:03:09,157 that it's one of the most popular programs in India. 67 00:03:09,311 --> 00:03:11,235 It might speak to a cultural aspiration 68 00:03:11,355 --> 00:03:13,461 to have one's children enter the medical profession. 69 00:03:13,581 --> 00:03:14,638 I bet you're right. 70 00:03:14,851 --> 00:03:17,186 - I bet they loveScrubs. - What's not to love? 71 00:03:17,399 --> 00:03:18,555 Excuse me! Hello? 72 00:03:19,202 --> 00:03:22,578 My parents are trying to marry me to a total stranger. What am I going to do? 73 00:03:23,126 --> 00:03:24,650 I suggest you go through with it. 74 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:25,730 What?! 75 00:03:25,949 --> 00:03:30,153 Romantic love as the basis for marriage has only existed since the 19th century. 76 00:03:30,484 --> 00:03:32,702 Up until then, arranged marriages were the norm, 77 00:03:32,875 --> 00:03:34,393 and it served society quite well. 78 00:03:34,625 --> 00:03:36,515 It's the entire premise of Fiddler on the Roof. 79 00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:39,274 I'm not a big fan of musicals, but I love that show. 80 00:03:39,603 --> 00:03:42,145 Me too. Of course, it speaks to me culturally. 81 00:03:42,453 --> 00:03:44,872 Understandable, but there's a universality to that story 82 00:03:45,065 --> 00:03:46,377 which transcends ethnicity. 83 00:03:46,777 --> 00:03:48,872 Let's not forget it's got some really catchy tunes. 84 00:03:50,965 --> 00:03:52,633 - I know what I'm going to do. - What? 85 00:03:52,876 --> 00:03:54,091 Find new friends. 86 00:04:00,309 --> 00:04:01,833 So who wants to rent Fiddler? 87 00:04:02,171 --> 00:04:03,753 No need, we have the special edition. 88 00:04:06,315 --> 00:04:08,525 Maybe we are like Haroon and Tanvir. 89 00:04:32,331 --> 00:04:33,759 Subtitles: swsub.com 90 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,417 This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 91 00:04:37,728 --> 00:04:40,343 Yeah, I need to cancel my membership to the planetarium. 92 00:04:43,590 --> 00:04:44,767 Well, I'm sorry, too, 93 00:04:44,976 --> 00:04:47,271 but there's just no room for you in my wallet. 94 00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:50,690 I understand, 95 00:04:50,846 --> 00:04:53,393 but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History, 96 00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,629 and frankly, you don't have dinosaurs. 97 00:04:57,823 --> 00:04:59,154 I'll miss you, too. Bye-bye. 98 00:05:01,053 --> 00:05:04,256 Okay, I know you're texting about me and I'd really like you to stop. 99 00:05:06,981 --> 00:05:09,373 Oh, dear, I am rightly and truly screwed. 100 00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:12,161 Hey, I thought you were finding new friends. 101 00:05:12,373 --> 00:05:13,859 I've got some feelers out. 102 00:05:14,733 --> 00:05:16,540 In the meantime, listen to this. 103 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,107 Hi, Rajesh. This is Lalita Gupta. 104 00:05:19,451 --> 00:05:22,539 Your mother gave my mother your phone number to give to me. 105 00:05:22,731 --> 00:05:23,985 So, I'm calling you 106 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,608 and... call me back. Bye. 107 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,368 Can you believe how pushy she is? 108 00:05:33,717 --> 00:05:35,066 So don't call her. 109 00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:37,745 If I don't call her, I won't hear the end of it from my parents. 110 00:05:37,917 --> 00:05:39,080 - So call her. - How? 111 00:05:39,254 --> 00:05:40,701 You know I can't talk to women. 112 00:05:41,638 --> 00:05:42,848 I'm done. Anybody else? 113 00:05:43,953 --> 00:05:45,284 - Give me the phone. - Why? 114 00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:46,707 Just give it to me. 115 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,967 - What are you doing? - Don't worry. You'll thank me. 116 00:05:51,216 --> 00:05:53,425 Hello, Lalita? Raj Koothrappali here. 117 00:05:56,833 --> 00:05:58,994 Yes, it is good to talk to you, too. 118 00:06:01,592 --> 00:06:03,290 So what are you wearing? 119 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,787 Oh, not important. 120 00:06:08,081 --> 00:06:10,608 So, anyhow, when would you like to meet? 121 00:06:12,021 --> 00:06:13,546 Friday works for me! 122 00:06:15,199 --> 00:06:17,304 I'll call you with a time and place. 123 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,376 But in the meantime, keep it real, babe. 124 00:06:27,067 --> 00:06:28,468 You may now thank me. 125 00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:32,415 For what? Making me sound like a Simpsons character? 126 00:06:33,591 --> 00:06:35,110 Next time make your own date. 127 00:06:35,308 --> 00:06:37,528 - I didn't want this one! - Look on the bright side, 128 00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,880 she might turn out to be a nice, beautiful girl. 129 00:06:40,151 --> 00:06:42,544 Great, then we'll get married, I won't be able to talk to her 130 00:06:42,775 --> 00:06:45,399 and we'll spend the rest of our lives in total silence. 131 00:06:45,987 --> 00:06:47,589 It worked for my parents. 132 00:06:49,429 --> 00:06:50,371 Hi, guys. 133 00:06:50,737 --> 00:06:52,111 I need some guinea pigs. 134 00:06:52,536 --> 00:06:56,284 There's a lab animal supply company in Reseda you could try. 135 00:06:56,651 --> 00:06:58,837 But if your research is going to have human applications, 136 00:06:59,011 --> 00:07:00,458 may I suggest white mice instead? 137 00:07:00,612 --> 00:07:03,178 Their brain chemistry is far closer to ours. 138 00:07:04,977 --> 00:07:06,435 I swear to God, one day, 139 00:07:06,647 --> 00:07:08,885 I'm going to get the hang of talking to you. 140 00:07:09,552 --> 00:07:11,644 His mom's been saying that for years. 141 00:07:14,362 --> 00:07:15,310 What's up? 142 00:07:15,638 --> 00:07:18,127 I finally convinced the restaurant to give me a bartending shift, 143 00:07:18,293 --> 00:07:19,933 so I need to practice mixing drinks. 144 00:07:20,175 --> 00:07:22,466 Great. The key to acquiring proficiency 145 00:07:22,659 --> 00:07:24,241 in any task is repetition. 146 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,114 With certain obvious exceptions. 147 00:07:27,585 --> 00:07:29,121 Suicide, for example. 148 00:07:31,488 --> 00:07:32,944 So, Leonard, how about it? 149 00:07:34,962 --> 00:07:38,601 We'd love to help you, but Raj is going through some stuff right now, 150 00:07:38,888 --> 00:07:40,488 besides, he doesn't drink, so... 151 00:07:43,106 --> 00:07:44,106 Really? 152 00:07:46,843 --> 00:07:48,866 Raj is going through some stuff right now 153 00:07:49,078 --> 00:07:50,968 and he'd like to take up drinking. 154 00:07:54,071 --> 00:07:56,522 Here you go, Leonard. One Tequila Sunrise. 155 00:07:56,735 --> 00:07:57,735 Thank you. 156 00:07:58,218 --> 00:07:59,777 This drink is a wonderful example 157 00:08:00,045 --> 00:08:02,131 of how liquids with different specific gravities 158 00:08:02,324 --> 00:08:04,195 interact in a cylindrical container. 159 00:08:06,297 --> 00:08:07,297 Thank you. 160 00:08:08,645 --> 00:08:09,861 Okay, Raj, what'll it be? 161 00:08:12,769 --> 00:08:13,959 Whatever you recommend. 162 00:08:14,326 --> 00:08:16,655 How about a Grasshopper? I make a mean Grasshopper. 163 00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:18,761 Okay? Good. Coming up. 164 00:08:19,018 --> 00:08:20,651 Sheldon, what are you going to have? 165 00:08:20,823 --> 00:08:22,466 I'll have a Diet Coke. 166 00:08:24,064 --> 00:08:27,339 Can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks. 167 00:08:27,597 --> 00:08:30,144 Fine. I'll have a Virgin Cuba Libre. 168 00:08:32,838 --> 00:08:35,074 That's, rum and Coke without the rum. 169 00:08:35,436 --> 00:08:36,420 Yes. 170 00:08:38,144 --> 00:08:39,144 So... Coke. 171 00:08:39,493 --> 00:08:40,399 Yes. 172 00:08:41,864 --> 00:08:43,407 And would you make it diet? 173 00:08:48,666 --> 00:08:49,978 There's a can in the fridge. 174 00:08:50,812 --> 00:08:54,407 A Cuba Libre traditionally comes in a tall glass with a lime wedge. 175 00:08:54,973 --> 00:08:56,400 Then swim to Cuba. 176 00:08:59,079 --> 00:09:01,157 Bartenders are supposed to have people skills. 177 00:09:04,486 --> 00:09:05,779 Raj, here you go. 178 00:09:06,301 --> 00:09:07,575 All right. Who's next? 179 00:09:07,854 --> 00:09:10,034 I'd like to try a Slippery Nipple. 180 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,288 Okay, you're cut off. 181 00:09:19,067 --> 00:09:20,224 Anybody need a refill? 182 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,244 Where did my life go, Penny? 183 00:09:25,236 --> 00:09:27,617 One day I'm a carefree bachelor, and the next I'm married 184 00:09:27,810 --> 00:09:29,787 and driving a minivan to peewee cricket matches 185 00:09:29,961 --> 00:09:31,601 in suburban New Delhi. 186 00:09:34,076 --> 00:09:35,292 Are you talking to me? 187 00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:37,399 Is the another Penny here? 188 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,559 I had such plans. I had dreams. 189 00:09:41,932 --> 00:09:45,207 I was going to be the Indira Gandhi of particle astrophysics. 190 00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:47,314 But with a penis, of course. 191 00:09:49,738 --> 00:09:52,016 - Amazing. - Ever since I was a little boy, 192 00:09:52,245 --> 00:09:54,309 my father wanted me to be a gynecologist like him. 193 00:09:55,515 --> 00:09:59,026 How can I be a gynecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye! 194 00:10:02,848 --> 00:10:03,784 You know what? 195 00:10:03,968 --> 00:10:06,343 I'm not going to let my parents control my future any longer. 196 00:10:06,532 --> 00:10:07,959 It's time for a showdown. 197 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,418 Somebody give me a computer with a webcam! 198 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:14,379 Sweetie, I think that's the Grasshopper talking. 199 00:10:14,707 --> 00:10:16,213 And it's about to tell my parents 200 00:10:16,386 --> 00:10:19,666 that I'm not riding an elephant down the aisle with Lalita Gupta. 201 00:10:19,976 --> 00:10:21,267 Okay, calm down. 202 00:10:22,029 --> 00:10:23,881 No one can make you get married. 203 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:26,642 Why don't you just meet this girl and see what happens? 204 00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:29,362 Haven't you been listening to me? I cannot talk to women. 205 00:10:30,605 --> 00:10:32,669 No, no, let's see how long it takes him. 206 00:10:34,202 --> 00:10:35,321 Raj, honey, 207 00:10:35,767 --> 00:10:39,082 you say you can't talk to women, but you've been talking to me. 208 00:10:39,327 --> 00:10:40,756 And now we'll never know. 209 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,475 You're right. 210 00:10:45,071 --> 00:10:46,441 I am talking to you. 211 00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:48,795 Hello, Penny, how are you? 212 00:10:50,563 --> 00:10:52,769 - I'm fine. - Okay, now I just need 213 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,904 to make sure I have a Lalita before I meet the Grasshopper. 214 00:10:59,207 --> 00:11:01,583 It's a sweet, green miracle. 215 00:11:02,364 --> 00:11:05,754 If you're going to drink on this date, just promise me you won't overdo it. 216 00:11:06,210 --> 00:11:07,210 Overdo what? 217 00:11:07,669 --> 00:11:08,669 Happiness? 218 00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:10,969 Freedom? 219 00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:13,281 This warm glow inside of me 220 00:11:13,474 --> 00:11:16,338 that promises everything's going to be all hunky-dunky? 221 00:11:17,386 --> 00:11:19,917 Yeah, that. Why don't you bring her to my restaurant 222 00:11:20,090 --> 00:11:22,271 while I'm tending the bar so I can keep an eye on you. 223 00:11:24,796 --> 00:11:26,100 What's the plan here? 224 00:11:26,251 --> 00:11:28,396 Let's say he meets her, he likes her, they get married. 225 00:11:28,531 --> 00:11:31,115 What's he going to do, stay drunk for the rest of his life? 226 00:11:31,309 --> 00:11:32,774 Worked for my parents. 227 00:11:43,474 --> 00:11:46,889 I can't believe I'm sitting here next to little Lalita Gupta. 228 00:11:48,226 --> 00:11:49,384 Well, you are. 229 00:11:50,104 --> 00:11:51,299 Little Lalita. 230 00:11:52,206 --> 00:11:53,739 That's kind of fun to say. 231 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,200 Little Lalita, little Lalita, little Lalita. 232 00:11:57,357 --> 00:11:59,036 - You should try it. - Oh, it's okay. 233 00:12:02,519 --> 00:12:04,120 You have lost so much weight. 234 00:12:05,501 --> 00:12:08,819 That must have been difficult for you because you were so, so fat. 235 00:12:10,718 --> 00:12:11,721 Do you remember? 236 00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:13,556 Yes, I do. 237 00:12:13,842 --> 00:12:16,585 Of course you do. Who could forget being that fat? 238 00:12:18,589 --> 00:12:19,696 I've been trying. 239 00:12:21,113 --> 00:12:22,714 So you're a dental student. 240 00:12:24,955 --> 00:12:28,188 Are you aware that dentists have an extremely high suicide rate? 241 00:12:29,398 --> 00:12:31,483 Not as high as, say, air traffic controllers, 242 00:12:31,603 --> 00:12:33,963 but there are far more dentists than air traffic controllers, 243 00:12:34,124 --> 00:12:35,938 so in pure numbers, you're still winning. 244 00:12:36,803 --> 00:12:37,803 Yay, me. 245 00:12:39,608 --> 00:12:42,094 Do you have a drink that will make him less obnoxious? 246 00:12:42,541 --> 00:12:44,208 Drinks do not work that way. 247 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:47,272 I'd say he's doing fine. Look at her. 248 00:12:47,502 --> 00:12:50,878 The last girl my mom set me up with had a mustache and a vestigial tail. 249 00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:55,183 - Sorry I'm late. - What happened? 250 00:12:55,550 --> 00:12:57,597 Nothing. I just really didn't want to come. 251 00:12:59,747 --> 00:13:02,255 Virgin diet Cuba Libre, please. 252 00:13:03,964 --> 00:13:06,337 In a tall glass with a lime wedge. 253 00:13:07,558 --> 00:13:09,294 Oh, I'll wedge it right in there. 254 00:13:11,815 --> 00:13:13,078 So how's Koothrappali... 255 00:13:13,494 --> 00:13:14,787 Oh, my Lord. 256 00:13:15,075 --> 00:13:17,251 - What? - That's Princess Panchali. 257 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,789 I'm pretty sure her name's Lalita. 258 00:13:20,004 --> 00:13:23,505 No, no, Princess Panchali, fromThe Monkey and the Princess. 259 00:13:24,552 --> 00:13:27,910 Oh, yeah. I tried to watch that online, but they wanted my credit card. 260 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,423 It's a children's story. 261 00:13:31,670 --> 00:13:32,905 Oh, no, it isn't. 262 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:39,567 When I was a little boy and got sick, which was most of the time, 263 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,167 my mother would read it to me. 264 00:13:41,352 --> 00:13:44,342 It's about an Indian princess who befriends a monkey 265 00:13:44,632 --> 00:13:47,653 who was mocked by all the other monkeys because he was different. 266 00:13:47,891 --> 00:13:50,312 For some reason, I related to it quite strongly. 267 00:13:51,346 --> 00:13:52,696 I know the reason. 268 00:13:53,894 --> 00:13:55,329 We all know the reason. 269 00:13:57,220 --> 00:13:58,705 Sheldon, what are you getting at? 270 00:13:58,926 --> 00:14:00,942 That woman looks exactly like the pictures 271 00:14:01,096 --> 00:14:02,707 of Princess Panchali in the book. 272 00:14:03,184 --> 00:14:06,641 How often does one see a beloved fictional character come to life? 273 00:14:07,122 --> 00:14:08,795 Every year at Comic-Con. 274 00:14:10,230 --> 00:14:11,445 Every day at Disneyland. 275 00:14:11,599 --> 00:14:14,013 You can hire Snow White to come to your house. 276 00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:16,549 Of course, they prefer it if you have a kid. 277 00:14:17,781 --> 00:14:19,573 Hey, guys. This is Lalita Gupta. 278 00:14:19,785 --> 00:14:20,982 Lalita, this is Leonard 279 00:14:21,185 --> 00:14:23,134 and Sheldon and Howard and Penny. 280 00:14:23,497 --> 00:14:25,465 Isn't it great? She isn't fat anymore. 281 00:14:26,905 --> 00:14:29,343 "Forgive me, Your Highness, for I am but a monkey, 282 00:14:29,529 --> 00:14:31,073 "and it is in my nature to climb. 283 00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:32,708 "I did not mean to gaze upon you 284 00:14:32,881 --> 00:14:34,420 as you comb your hair." 285 00:14:36,155 --> 00:14:37,236 I'm sorry? 286 00:14:37,633 --> 00:14:40,642 You are the living embodiment of the beautiful Princess Panchali. 287 00:14:41,273 --> 00:14:42,603 Oh, no kidding. 288 00:14:43,262 --> 00:14:44,265 Who is that? 289 00:14:44,632 --> 00:14:46,966 A beloved character from an Indian folktale. 290 00:14:49,143 --> 00:14:51,516 Us Indian or "Come to our casino" Indian? 291 00:14:53,879 --> 00:14:54,766 You Indian. 292 00:14:56,011 --> 00:14:57,765 The resemblance is remarkable. 293 00:14:58,156 --> 00:15:00,028 I can practically smell the lotus blossoms 294 00:15:00,221 --> 00:15:01,630 woven into your ebony hair. 295 00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:03,063 Well, thanks. 296 00:15:03,864 --> 00:15:05,827 I imagine you smell very nice, too. 297 00:15:06,521 --> 00:15:09,777 I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can. 298 00:15:10,728 --> 00:15:12,405 Really? So do I. 299 00:15:12,648 --> 00:15:14,674 But you're a dentist. He's nuts. 300 00:15:16,723 --> 00:15:18,228 Don't be insulting, Rajesh. 301 00:15:18,926 --> 00:15:19,832 So, Sheldon, 302 00:15:20,391 --> 00:15:22,780 tell me more about this princess you say I look like. 303 00:15:23,205 --> 00:15:26,913 It was said that the gods fashioned her eyes out of the stars 304 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:31,208 and that roses were ashamed to bloom in the presence of her ruby lips. 305 00:15:32,108 --> 00:15:34,202 - Oh, my. - Back off, Sheldon. 306 00:15:34,794 --> 00:15:35,643 What? 307 00:15:35,827 --> 00:15:38,694 If you do not stop hitting on my lady, you'll feel the full extent of my wrath. 308 00:15:40,583 --> 00:15:41,798 I'm not hitting on her. 309 00:15:42,223 --> 00:15:43,561 And I am not your lady. 310 00:15:43,744 --> 00:15:45,379 And you have no wrath. 311 00:15:47,725 --> 00:15:49,827 You are my lady. Our parents said so. 312 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,452 We are, for all intents and purposes, 100% hooked up. 313 00:15:52,974 --> 00:15:54,499 Let's get something straight here. 314 00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:57,483 The only reason I came tonight was to get my parents off my case. 315 00:15:57,689 --> 00:16:00,338 I certainly don't need to be getting this Old World crap from you. 316 00:16:00,517 --> 00:16:02,050 That's exactly the kind of spirit 317 00:16:02,242 --> 00:16:04,752 with which Princess Panchali led the monkeys to freedom. 318 00:16:04,968 --> 00:16:07,234 - Screw Princess Panchali. - You can't talk to me like that. 319 00:16:07,388 --> 00:16:08,931 But you're not Princess Panchali. 320 00:16:09,123 --> 00:16:11,383 Luckily for you-- she could have you beheaded. 321 00:16:12,312 --> 00:16:13,546 Sheldon, are you hungry? 322 00:16:13,714 --> 00:16:15,703 - I could eat. - Let's go. 323 00:16:19,993 --> 00:16:21,093 What just happened? 324 00:16:21,335 --> 00:16:22,984 Beats the hell out of me. 325 00:16:23,151 --> 00:16:26,445 I'll tell you what happened. I just learned how to pick up Indian chicks. 326 00:16:29,594 --> 00:16:31,745 What are we supposed to say to Lalita's parents? 327 00:16:32,068 --> 00:16:34,700 I play golf with her father. I won't be able to look at him. 328 00:16:34,866 --> 00:16:37,385 Maybe you should keep your eye on the ball, Papa. 329 00:16:37,970 --> 00:16:39,261 Oh, now you're a funny man. 330 00:16:39,381 --> 00:16:41,280 This is not funny, Mr. Funny Man. 331 00:16:42,255 --> 00:16:43,591 Dr. and Mrs. Koothrappali, 332 00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:46,292 in all fairness, it wasn't entirely Raj's fault. 333 00:16:46,671 --> 00:16:48,137 This is a family matter, Sheldon. 334 00:16:48,291 --> 00:16:49,275 I'm Leonard. 335 00:16:50,172 --> 00:16:52,062 Sorry. You all look alike to us. 336 00:16:53,998 --> 00:16:56,122 But he's right, Papa. Listen to him. 337 00:16:56,839 --> 00:16:59,109 You! You are the one who ruined everything. 338 00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:00,874 Who is it? We can't see. 339 00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,445 Turn us. Turn us! 340 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,584 Go ahead, tell my parents why they won't have any grandchildren. 341 00:17:09,114 --> 00:17:11,641 How would I know? Do you have a low sperm count? 342 00:17:13,723 --> 00:17:15,779 This has nothing to do with my sperm count. 343 00:17:16,018 --> 00:17:18,697 You are wearing the boxers that we sent you, aren't you? 344 00:17:18,890 --> 00:17:20,861 - Yes, Mumi. - Because you know what happens 345 00:17:21,034 --> 00:17:23,311 to the samosas when you wear tighty-whities. 346 00:17:24,636 --> 00:17:26,753 Can we please stop talking about my testicles? 347 00:17:27,321 --> 00:17:28,768 Sheldon, tell them what you did. 348 00:17:29,050 --> 00:17:30,043 What did I do? 349 00:17:30,594 --> 00:17:31,874 You left with his date. 350 00:17:32,405 --> 00:17:34,239 Friends don't do that to each other. 351 00:17:36,512 --> 00:17:37,707 All right, noted. 352 00:17:39,970 --> 00:17:40,970 Sorry. 353 00:17:41,224 --> 00:17:42,913 Sorry? That's all you can say is sorry? 354 00:17:43,153 --> 00:17:45,395 Take it. It's more than I've ever gotten. 355 00:17:45,627 --> 00:17:46,616 May I point out, 356 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,773 she wouldn't have asked me to go with her if you hadn't been drunk and boring. 357 00:17:49,992 --> 00:17:52,311 - Drunk? - And boring-- her words. 358 00:17:53,437 --> 00:17:56,147 I knew it. He moves to America and he becomes an alcoholic. 359 00:17:56,364 --> 00:17:57,735 I'm not an alcoholic. 360 00:17:58,024 --> 00:17:59,374 Then why were you drunk? 361 00:17:59,952 --> 00:18:02,778 - It was just this one time, I swear. - Are you in denial? 362 00:18:02,947 --> 00:18:04,969 Do we have to come over and do an intervention? 363 00:18:05,137 --> 00:18:07,476 Don't embarrass him in front of his friends. 364 00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:09,722 All right. Carry us outside. 365 00:18:09,933 --> 00:18:11,722 We want to talk to you in private. 366 00:18:12,470 --> 00:18:14,149 - But, Papa, please... - Now, Rajesh! 367 00:18:18,701 --> 00:18:19,760 I have to go. 368 00:18:22,232 --> 00:18:23,332 Now, listen to me... 369 00:18:23,545 --> 00:18:25,354 At least wait till I get into the hall. 370 00:18:29,088 --> 00:18:30,298 Okay, well, good night. 371 00:18:30,959 --> 00:18:31,905 Hold on. 372 00:18:33,105 --> 00:18:34,772 What happened with you and Lalita? 373 00:18:35,643 --> 00:18:37,634 We ate, she lectured me 374 00:18:37,844 --> 00:18:39,850 on the link between gum disease and heart attacks-- 375 00:18:40,043 --> 00:18:42,204 nothing I didn't already know-- and I came home. 376 00:18:42,971 --> 00:18:44,573 So you're not going to see her again? 377 00:18:45,343 --> 00:18:46,828 Why would I see her again? 378 00:18:47,189 --> 00:18:48,752 I already have a dentist. 379 00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:57,864 I wonder who's going to tell his parents they're not having grandchildren? 380 00:19:19,522 --> 00:19:21,297 I don't believe it. What's gotten into him? 381 00:19:21,814 --> 00:19:24,268 Oh, maybe a couple virgin Cuba Libres 382 00:19:24,481 --> 00:19:26,776 that turned out to be kind of slutty. 383 00:19:28,271 --> 00:19:29,293 You didn't. 384 00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:31,694 You do your experiments. I do mine.