1 00:00:01,312 --> 00:00:05,311 No, see, the liquid metal Terminators were created in the future by Skynet, 2 00:00:05,431 --> 00:00:09,094 and Skynet was developed by Miles Dyson, but that future no longer exists 3 00:00:09,214 --> 00:00:11,564 due to Dyson's death in Terminator 2. 4 00:00:12,592 --> 00:00:13,991 Then riddle me this: 5 00:00:14,495 --> 00:00:16,190 Assuming all the good Terminators 6 00:00:16,310 --> 00:00:18,897 were originally evil Terminators created by Skynet 7 00:00:19,057 --> 00:00:21,150 but then reprogrammed by the future John Connor, 8 00:00:21,270 --> 00:00:24,168 why would Skynet, an artificial computer intelligence, 9 00:00:24,288 --> 00:00:27,683 bother to create a petite, hot, 17-year-old killer robot? 10 00:00:30,451 --> 00:00:32,601 Skynet is kinky? I don't know... 11 00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:36,443 Artificial intelligences do not have teen fetishes. 12 00:00:37,242 --> 00:00:38,457 Wait! They use it to... 13 00:00:38,945 --> 00:00:40,293 Too late. I win. 14 00:00:55,926 --> 00:00:57,470 What the hell is that? 15 00:00:58,694 --> 00:01:01,277 I don't know, but if cats could sing... 16 00:01:02,147 --> 00:01:03,636 they'd hate it, too. 17 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:14,640 Hey, guys! 18 00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,247 - Hi! Where you going? - What? 19 00:01:17,408 --> 00:01:20,170 We just had to mail some letters... 20 00:01:20,990 --> 00:01:21,782 and... 21 00:01:22,452 --> 00:01:24,024 throw away some chicken. 22 00:01:41,264 --> 00:01:43,022 You'll never guess what just happened. 23 00:01:43,183 --> 00:01:44,096 I give up. 24 00:01:44,216 --> 00:01:46,636 I don't guess. As a scientist, I reach conclusions 25 00:01:46,756 --> 00:01:48,861 based on observation and experimentation. 26 00:01:49,814 --> 00:01:52,597 Although as I'm saying this, it occurs to me you may have been employing 27 00:01:52,717 --> 00:01:55,362 a rhetorical device rendering my response moot. 28 00:01:56,386 --> 00:01:59,433 - What was that? - Believe it or not, personal growth. 29 00:01:59,776 --> 00:02:00,790 What happened? 30 00:02:00,950 --> 00:02:03,326 Remember when I auditioned for that workshop production of Rent, 31 00:02:03,446 --> 00:02:05,189 but I didn't get it and I didn't know why. 32 00:02:05,309 --> 00:02:07,261 I have a conclusion based on an observation. 33 00:02:07,381 --> 00:02:09,431 No, you don't. No, he doesn't. 34 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,424 The girl they picked to play Mimi dropped out, 35 00:02:12,544 --> 00:02:14,011 and they asked me to replace her. 36 00:02:14,291 --> 00:02:16,014 Congratulations. What a lucky break. 37 00:02:16,175 --> 00:02:18,117 It's not a big deal, just a one-night showcase, 38 00:02:18,237 --> 00:02:21,061 but they invite a lot of casting people. So, you never know. 39 00:02:21,221 --> 00:02:23,259 - I think I know. - No, you don't. 40 00:02:24,225 --> 00:02:25,263 He doesn't. 41 00:02:25,559 --> 00:02:27,357 It's this Friday at 8:00. You want to come? 42 00:02:30,394 --> 00:02:31,542 Because... 43 00:02:32,647 --> 00:02:36,860 Friday we are attending a symposium on molecular positronium. 44 00:02:37,096 --> 00:02:38,913 I think that's a week from Tuesday, at 6:00. 45 00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,287 No, it's this Friday. 46 00:02:40,708 --> 00:02:41,651 At 8:00. 47 00:02:42,911 --> 00:02:44,626 Too bad. I gotta get to rehearsal. 48 00:02:44,977 --> 00:02:46,727 - See you guys. - See ya. 49 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:53,258 You just lied to Penny. 50 00:02:53,419 --> 00:02:54,968 - Yes, I did. - And you did it 51 00:02:55,130 --> 00:02:58,501 so casually-- no rapid breathing, no increase in perspiration... 52 00:02:58,883 --> 00:02:59,474 So? 53 00:02:59,635 --> 00:03:02,262 So, lack of a physiological response while lying 54 00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:04,932 is characteristic of a violent sociopath. 55 00:03:05,418 --> 00:03:07,565 Sheldon, are you worried about your safety? 56 00:03:07,726 --> 00:03:09,706 No, I imagine if you were going to kill me, 57 00:03:09,826 --> 00:03:11,819 you'd have done it a long time ago. 58 00:03:12,257 --> 00:03:13,528 That's very true. 59 00:03:33,651 --> 00:03:35,685 Episode 110 The Loobenfeld Decay 60 00:03:36,369 --> 00:03:39,319 Transcript: swsub.com Synchro: Sixe, Jesslataree 61 00:04:04,199 --> 00:04:04,991 What? 62 00:04:07,564 --> 00:04:09,209 I need to speak to you. 63 00:04:09,615 --> 00:04:12,103 - It's 2:00 in the morning! - It's important. 64 00:04:12,223 --> 00:04:13,948 I highly doubt that. 65 00:04:14,739 --> 00:04:15,550 Go away. 66 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,437 Are you still out there? 67 00:04:26,770 --> 00:04:27,604 What? 68 00:04:29,266 --> 00:04:31,816 You're right; it can wait until morning. 69 00:04:33,876 --> 00:04:36,131 - What, what? - Never mind. 70 00:04:36,251 --> 00:04:38,740 I clearly woke you up in the middle of a REM cycle. 71 00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:40,533 You're in no state of mind to talk. 72 00:04:40,876 --> 00:04:42,079 What is it? 73 00:04:43,864 --> 00:04:46,998 I'm uncomfortable having been included in your lie to Penny. 74 00:04:47,556 --> 00:04:49,265 What was I supposed to say? 75 00:04:49,385 --> 00:04:52,629 - You could have told her the truth. - That would have hurt her feelings. 76 00:04:53,425 --> 00:04:55,148 Is that a relevant factor? 77 00:04:57,363 --> 00:04:59,801 Then I suppose you could've agreed to go. 78 00:05:00,155 --> 00:05:02,123 And what would I have said afterwards? 79 00:05:02,243 --> 00:05:04,182 I would suggest something to the effect of: 80 00:05:04,342 --> 00:05:06,555 singing is neither an appropriate vocation 81 00:05:06,675 --> 00:05:09,076 nor avocation for you, and if you disagree, 82 00:05:09,196 --> 00:05:11,569 I'd recommend you have a CAT scan to look for a tumor 83 00:05:11,689 --> 00:05:14,025 pressing on the cognitive processing centers of your brain. 84 00:05:16,101 --> 00:05:18,270 I couldn't say that. I would have to say, 85 00:05:18,390 --> 00:05:21,699 "You were terrific and I can't wait to hear you sing again." 86 00:05:22,304 --> 00:05:23,247 Why? 87 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,829 That's the social protocol. It's what you do when you have a friend 88 00:05:27,949 --> 00:05:30,792 who's proud of something they really suck at. 89 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,211 I was not aware of that. 90 00:05:33,502 --> 00:05:35,004 Well, now you are. 91 00:05:35,164 --> 00:05:36,714 All right. Leonard? 92 00:05:37,834 --> 00:05:39,921 When we played chess earlier, you were terrific, 93 00:05:40,041 --> 00:05:42,387 and I can't wait to play you again. Good night. 94 00:05:52,236 --> 00:05:55,609 This would be so much easier if I were a violent sociopath. 95 00:05:59,094 --> 00:05:59,988 What? 96 00:06:00,148 --> 00:06:01,721 I was analyzing our lie, 97 00:06:01,841 --> 00:06:04,742 and I believe we're in danger of Penny seeing through the ruse. 98 00:06:05,171 --> 00:06:06,169 How? 99 00:06:06,571 --> 00:06:08,250 Simple: If she were to log onto 100 00:06:08,370 --> 00:06:12,626 www.socalphysixsgroup.org /activities/other, 101 00:06:12,746 --> 00:06:14,886 click on "Upcoming Events," scroll down to "Seminars," 102 00:06:15,006 --> 00:06:16,464 download the PDF schedule, 103 00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:18,923 and look for the seminar on molecular positronium, 104 00:06:19,083 --> 00:06:22,334 bippity, boppity, boo-- our pants are metaphorically on fire. 105 00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:30,783 Well, sir, my trousers will not be igniting today. 106 00:06:38,629 --> 00:06:39,652 Good morning. 107 00:06:39,813 --> 00:06:41,738 Do you have any idea what time it is? 108 00:06:41,899 --> 00:06:42,838 Of course I do. 109 00:06:42,958 --> 00:06:46,395 My watch is linked to the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado. 110 00:06:46,515 --> 00:06:48,327 It's accurate to one-tenth of a second. 111 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:51,100 But as I'm saying this, it occurs to me 112 00:06:51,220 --> 00:06:54,249 that, once again, your question may have been rhetorical. 1 00:06:54,576 --> 00:06:55,712 What do you want? 2 00:06:55,911 --> 00:06:58,679 Remember how Leonard told you we couldn't come to your performance 3 00:06:58,863 --> 00:07:01,958 because we were attending a symposium on molecular positronium? 4 00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:05,783 I remember "symposium." 5 00:07:07,355 --> 00:07:09,465 Yes. Well... he lied. 6 00:07:10,550 --> 00:07:11,693 Wait. What? 7 00:07:11,914 --> 00:07:14,981 He lied, and I'm feeling very uncomfortable about it. 8 00:07:15,398 --> 00:07:17,390 Well, imagine how I'm feeling. 9 00:07:18,820 --> 00:07:19,820 Hungry? 10 00:07:21,695 --> 00:07:22,695 Tired? 11 00:07:23,634 --> 00:07:25,930 I'm sorry, this really isn't my strong suit. 12 00:07:27,217 --> 00:07:30,087 You told her I lied? Why would you tell her I lied? 13 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:31,971 To help you. 14 00:07:33,758 --> 00:07:35,508 I'm sorry, I'm not seeing the help. 15 00:07:35,668 --> 00:07:38,006 She was going to see through your lie eventually, 16 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,348 so I told her that you were lying to protect me. 17 00:07:42,103 --> 00:07:43,762 I'm getting a bad feeling. 18 00:07:44,635 --> 00:07:45,635 Hunger? 19 00:07:47,304 --> 00:07:48,212 Indigestion? 20 00:07:48,472 --> 00:07:50,450 I'm sorry, I'm really not very good at this. 21 00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:53,700 Anyway, Penny now believes that, on Friday night, 22 00:07:53,860 --> 00:07:57,655 we're going to participate in my cousin Leopold's drug intervention. 23 00:07:59,461 --> 00:08:00,817 Your cousin Leopold. 24 00:08:00,977 --> 00:08:03,571 Who most people call Leo, but he also answers to Lee. 25 00:08:03,731 --> 00:08:06,386 - Remember that. It's important. - What's important? 26 00:08:06,546 --> 00:08:07,848 Details, Leonard-- 27 00:08:08,008 --> 00:08:11,194 the success or failure of our deceitful enterprise turns on details. 28 00:08:12,016 --> 00:08:13,738 - Do you have a cousin Leopold? - No. 29 00:08:13,998 --> 00:08:15,390 I made him up. 30 00:08:16,259 --> 00:08:17,992 I think you'd call him Lee. 31 00:08:19,825 --> 00:08:21,632 I don't get it. I already told her a lie. 32 00:08:21,807 --> 00:08:24,039 Why replace it with a different lie? 33 00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:26,697 First of all, your lie was laughably transparent, 34 00:08:26,857 --> 00:08:29,087 where mine is exquisitely convoluted. 35 00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:33,758 While you were sleeping, I was weaving an un-unravelable web. 36 00:08:35,061 --> 00:08:36,197 Un-unravelable? 37 00:08:36,571 --> 00:08:37,409 Yes. 38 00:08:37,569 --> 00:08:40,632 If she Googles "Leopold Houston," she'll find a Facebook page, 39 00:08:40,792 --> 00:08:43,193 an online blog depicting his descent into drug use 40 00:08:43,353 --> 00:08:46,221 and a desperate yet hopeful listing on eHarmony.com. 41 00:08:48,115 --> 00:08:51,706 Okay, why would I go to a drug intervention for your cousin? 42 00:08:52,036 --> 00:08:54,638 Because it's in Long Beach, and I don't drive. 43 00:08:56,615 --> 00:08:59,708 - We're going to Long Beach? - Of course not. There's no cousin Leo. 44 00:08:59,868 --> 00:09:01,786 There's no intervention. Focus, Leonard. 45 00:09:02,046 --> 00:09:03,018 Aw, come on. 46 00:09:04,508 --> 00:09:07,125 We just leave the house on Friday night and we return 47 00:09:07,385 --> 00:09:09,270 in the wee hours, emotionally wrung out, 48 00:09:09,430 --> 00:09:11,755 from the work of convincing Leo to go back into rehab. 49 00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:14,090 - He goes back into rehab? - Yes, but, 50 00:09:14,350 --> 00:09:15,723 he can relapse if Penny 51 00:09:15,976 --> 00:09:18,432 ever invites us to hear her sing again. 52 00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:21,981 You still told her I lied. 53 00:09:22,141 --> 00:09:25,598 For a noble purpose-- to spare me the social embarrassment 54 00:09:25,758 --> 00:09:30,064 of having a drug-addled first cousin-- which I'm assuming is embarrassing, yes? 55 00:09:31,816 --> 00:09:33,725 How am I supposed to remember all of this? 56 00:09:33,885 --> 00:09:35,597 That's the best part. You don't have to. 57 00:09:35,757 --> 00:09:37,757 I told Penny that you would be embarrassed 58 00:09:37,917 --> 00:09:39,903 if you knew that she found out that you had lied, 59 00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:43,642 so she's agreed to operate as if the original lie is still in force. 60 00:09:46,446 --> 00:09:48,551 So she's expecting me 61 00:09:48,819 --> 00:09:51,222 to lie about going to a symposium in Pasadena, 62 00:09:51,512 --> 00:09:52,920 when, in actuality, 63 00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:56,424 we're pretending to go to a drug intervention in Long Beach. 64 00:09:56,945 --> 00:09:58,426 Un-unravelable. 65 00:10:03,684 --> 00:10:05,586 Look at you, all ready for your showcase. 66 00:10:05,746 --> 00:10:07,285 - You look great. - Thanks. 67 00:10:07,445 --> 00:10:09,436 I just wanted to come by, wish you guys luck 68 00:10:09,596 --> 00:10:11,522 with your... symposium. 69 00:10:14,585 --> 00:10:15,435 Thank you. 70 00:10:15,868 --> 00:10:18,437 I got to tell you, a lot of friends would let their friend go alone, 71 00:10:18,597 --> 00:10:21,053 but that's not who you are. You are the kind of guy 72 00:10:21,213 --> 00:10:23,247 who stands by a friend when... 73 00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:25,906 Wen he has a symposium to go to. 74 00:10:29,845 --> 00:10:31,570 I don't know what to say. 75 00:10:32,783 --> 00:10:34,003 It's okay, Leonard. 76 00:10:34,263 --> 00:10:35,813 Okay, all right, good. 77 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,426 Oh, boy, group hug. 78 00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:42,511 So, what's up? 79 00:10:42,771 --> 00:10:44,649 Well, Penny is on her way to perform 80 00:10:44,809 --> 00:10:46,807 in a one-night showcase production of Rent, 81 00:10:47,131 --> 00:10:48,893 which we are unable to attend, 82 00:10:49,172 --> 00:10:52,017 because we're going to a symposium on molecular positronium 83 00:10:52,177 --> 00:10:54,245 given by Dr. Emil Farmanfarmian. 84 00:10:54,989 --> 00:10:58,402 Wait a minute. Farmanfarmian is speaking and you're bogarting the symposium? 85 00:10:59,843 --> 00:11:02,923 - Howard, I'm sorr... - No, no, you're quark-blocking us. 86 00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:07,256 I don't know what to say. 87 00:11:09,465 --> 00:11:11,637 It's okay. It's your Millennium Falcon. 88 00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:14,343 You and Chewbacca do whatever you want to do. 89 00:11:15,781 --> 00:11:19,372 Me and Princess Leia here will find some other way to spend the evening. 90 00:11:19,532 --> 00:11:20,740 Howard, wait. 91 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,672 Sheldon, I think we should tell them. 92 00:11:25,407 --> 00:11:28,419 Okay, sure. I don't see a problem with that. 93 00:11:29,718 --> 00:11:30,935 There's no symposium. 94 00:11:31,894 --> 00:11:34,139 Leonard lied to me. Isn't that right, Leonard? 95 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,253 I don't know what to say! 96 00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:40,156 It's okay; I do. 97 00:11:40,316 --> 00:11:42,655 Leonard is helping Sheldon through a family crisis. 98 00:11:43,033 --> 00:11:45,092 He made up the whole story about the symposium 99 00:11:45,252 --> 00:11:47,623 with Dr. Farman... farmian... 100 00:11:47,783 --> 00:11:48,783 Good for you. 101 00:11:50,446 --> 00:11:52,281 ...he didn't want Sheldon to be embarrassed. 102 00:11:52,441 --> 00:11:54,466 And there's nothing to be embarrassed about. 103 00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:56,737 Every family in America has a relative 104 00:11:56,897 --> 00:11:59,714 holed up in a garage somewhere huffing paint thinner. 105 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:03,054 No, I'm lost, too. I think she skipped a step. 106 00:12:04,964 --> 00:12:08,908 Sheldon's cousin Leo escaped rehab. He's in a Motel 8 in Long Beach. 107 00:12:09,068 --> 00:12:11,206 The whole family's going out for an intervention. 108 00:12:11,366 --> 00:12:13,115 Leonard is driving Sheldon down there 109 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:15,655 to help him through this, because he's such a good man. 110 00:12:15,815 --> 00:12:17,616 Another hug? Thank you. 111 00:12:19,411 --> 00:12:20,996 All right, you guys, good luck. 112 00:12:21,156 --> 00:12:22,782 Thanks, Penny. Oh-- break a leg. 113 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,101 Break a leg. 114 00:12:25,181 --> 00:12:26,658 So, road trip to Long Beach. 115 00:12:26,917 --> 00:12:29,371 - We're not going to Long Beach. - Why not? 116 00:12:29,531 --> 00:12:32,350 Because Sheldon doesn't have a drug-addicted cousin Leopold. 117 00:12:32,782 --> 00:12:33,850 Oh, too bad. 118 00:12:35,303 --> 00:12:37,236 I've always wanted to go to Long Beach. 119 00:12:37,396 --> 00:12:38,827 It's a very nice community. 120 00:12:38,987 --> 00:12:40,432 The Queen Mary is docked there. 121 00:12:40,592 --> 00:12:43,841 Once the largest ocean liner in the world, it's now a hotel and restaurant, 122 00:12:44,143 --> 00:12:47,094 where they host a surprisingly gripping murder mystery dinner. 123 00:12:47,798 --> 00:12:49,093 - Sounds fun. - I'm game. 124 00:12:49,253 --> 00:12:50,908 - Shotgun! - No, no, no. 125 00:12:52,094 --> 00:12:55,345 Leonard gets nauseous unless he sits in front, and even then, it's iffy. 126 00:12:57,281 --> 00:12:58,531 Wait, are we... 1 00:13:10,834 --> 00:13:12,378 Let it go, Sheldon. 2 00:13:12,539 --> 00:13:15,840 The murderer was the first mate whether it makes sense to you or not. 3 00:13:17,119 --> 00:13:18,977 No, that's the least of our worries. 4 00:13:19,097 --> 00:13:20,988 I've been doing some research on addiction, 5 00:13:21,108 --> 00:13:23,305 both the biochemical and behavioral aspects-- 6 00:13:23,465 --> 00:13:26,725 and I think there's a problem with the current version of our lie. 7 00:13:26,886 --> 00:13:29,854 What are you talking about? It's fine! She bought it; it's over. 8 00:13:33,810 --> 00:13:35,176 Sadly, it's not. 9 00:13:36,103 --> 00:13:38,128 Substance abuse is a lifelong struggle, 10 00:13:38,248 --> 00:13:40,938 but beyond that, I have realized that the Leo I described 11 00:13:41,058 --> 00:13:43,521 - would not have agreed to go to rehab. - Why not? 12 00:13:44,778 --> 00:13:46,245 Because Leo's a middle child. 13 00:13:47,158 --> 00:13:49,468 There is no Leo! How can you say that? 14 00:13:53,493 --> 00:13:55,338 You didn't read the bio, did you? 15 00:13:56,624 --> 00:13:59,390 He's not just a middle child, he is the quintessential middle child-- 16 00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:01,051 from a broken home, to boot. 17 00:14:01,211 --> 00:14:04,147 Psychologically speaking, the attention he gets by rebelling, 18 00:14:04,267 --> 00:14:07,046 even to the point of self-destruction, is more emotionally valuable 19 00:14:07,166 --> 00:14:08,883 than the help he would get at rehab. 20 00:14:09,003 --> 00:14:10,927 - I've got a solution. - Great. What is it? 21 00:14:11,047 --> 00:14:12,116 Get out! 22 00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:15,031 Fine. 23 00:14:21,678 --> 00:14:23,282 I've hesitated to point this out, 24 00:14:23,442 --> 00:14:25,923 but I must now remind you that we are in our current predicament 25 00:14:26,043 --> 00:14:28,478 because of your initial and totally inadequate deceit. 26 00:14:28,598 --> 00:14:30,581 I'm just trying to clean up after your mess. 27 00:14:34,821 --> 00:14:36,352 We'll talk in the morning. 28 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,232 Morning. 29 00:14:51,451 --> 00:14:52,627 Who are you? 30 00:14:53,709 --> 00:14:55,856 I am Sheldon's cousin Leo. 31 00:15:00,415 --> 00:15:02,905 Sheldon does not have a cousin Leo. 32 00:15:03,065 --> 00:15:04,215 Au contraire. 33 00:15:04,875 --> 00:15:06,365 I'm 26 years old. 34 00:15:06,485 --> 00:15:09,537 I'm originally from... Denton, Texas, 35 00:15:10,505 --> 00:15:11,747 but I was a Navy brat, 36 00:15:11,908 --> 00:15:14,672 so I was brought up on a variety of military bases around the world. 37 00:15:14,932 --> 00:15:17,221 As a result, I've often felt like an outsider-- 38 00:15:17,341 --> 00:15:18,790 never really fitting in, 39 00:15:18,910 --> 00:15:21,387 which is probably the reason for my substance abuse problem. 40 00:15:21,507 --> 00:15:24,301 Excuse me, we just went over this. 41 00:15:24,585 --> 00:15:27,137 As the quintessential middle child, your addiction is rooted 42 00:15:27,298 --> 00:15:28,889 in your unmet need for attention. 43 00:15:29,049 --> 00:15:32,268 Sheldon, are we really going to go with pop psychology? 44 00:15:32,428 --> 00:15:34,812 For your information, this is based on solid research. 45 00:15:34,972 --> 00:15:37,565 Just stick with the character profile I wrote for you. 46 00:15:38,742 --> 00:15:41,294 I'm sorry. Leonard, this is Toby Loobenfeld. 47 00:15:41,414 --> 00:15:44,140 He's a research assistant in the particle physics lab, 48 00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:46,657 but he also minored in theater at MIT. 49 00:15:47,341 --> 00:15:49,326 It was more of a double major, actually. 50 00:15:49,673 --> 00:15:51,161 Theater and physics. 51 00:15:51,321 --> 00:15:53,789 You can guess which one my bourgeois parents pushed me toward. 52 00:15:53,950 --> 00:15:55,034 Yeah, I got it. 53 00:15:55,325 --> 00:15:57,251 Sheldon... why? 54 00:15:57,411 --> 00:16:00,260 You see, while Leo would not have gone into rehab, 55 00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:03,363 it is completely plausible that we would have talked him 56 00:16:03,483 --> 00:16:05,759 into leaving the motel and coming home with us. 57 00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:10,271 How about this as my motivation-- when I was 14 years old, 58 00:16:10,391 --> 00:16:13,664 I was abused in the Philippines by a clubfooted Navy chaplain. 59 00:16:15,901 --> 00:16:18,156 No. We're going with middle child 60 00:16:18,276 --> 00:16:22,026 and a genetic predisposition to inadequate serotonin production. 61 00:16:22,186 --> 00:16:24,945 Swell. How do I play genetic predisposition? 62 00:16:26,092 --> 00:16:27,978 Subtextually, of course. 63 00:16:31,304 --> 00:16:32,780 Just have fun with it. 64 00:16:38,278 --> 00:16:40,919 - Morning, Penny. - How did the intervention go? 65 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,506 Unfortunately, we weren't able to convince him to go to rehab. 66 00:16:44,666 --> 00:16:47,146 Based on what you told me, I am not surprised. 67 00:16:49,797 --> 00:16:52,308 But we did convince him to leave the motel. 68 00:16:52,541 --> 00:16:53,557 Come say hello. 69 00:16:56,909 --> 00:16:58,125 This is Penny, 70 00:16:58,639 --> 00:16:59,922 our friend and neighbor. 71 00:17:00,042 --> 00:17:01,125 Hi, Leo. 72 00:17:01,633 --> 00:17:03,025 How are you feeling? 73 00:17:08,315 --> 00:17:09,865 Let me ask you something, Penny. 74 00:17:10,275 --> 00:17:12,967 Have you ever woken up in a fleabag motel, 75 00:17:13,087 --> 00:17:14,740 covered in your own vomit, 76 00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:17,328 next to a transsexual prostitute? 77 00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:23,828 Then don't ask me how I'm feeling. 78 00:17:26,995 --> 00:17:28,348 Well, that's Leo. 79 00:17:30,255 --> 00:17:32,827 why don't you tell me about your showcase last night. 80 00:17:32,947 --> 00:17:35,182 It was okay, I guess. It wasn't a big turnout, 81 00:17:35,343 --> 00:17:37,126 but they both really seemed to like it. 82 00:17:37,246 --> 00:17:38,981 There were only two people there? 83 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:40,576 By the end, yeah. 84 00:17:42,224 --> 00:17:44,118 Damn you, Chaplain Harrigan! 85 00:17:46,646 --> 00:17:47,987 I'm... I'm sorry? 86 00:17:48,148 --> 00:17:49,340 The Philippines. 87 00:17:52,057 --> 00:17:53,424 1992. 88 00:17:54,176 --> 00:17:56,253 The Subic Bay Naval Station. 89 00:17:56,373 --> 00:17:59,248 A young boy on the cusp of manhood. 90 00:18:00,015 --> 00:18:01,291 His only companions, 91 00:18:01,451 --> 00:18:04,372 mongrel dogs and malarial mosquitoes. 92 00:18:04,997 --> 00:18:06,714 Desperate and alone, 93 00:18:06,874 --> 00:18:10,205 he reached out to a man who promised to introduce him 94 00:18:10,325 --> 00:18:12,594 to a merciful, loving God, 95 00:18:12,754 --> 00:18:15,141 but who instead introduced him 96 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:19,518 to a gin-pickled tongue shoved down his adolescent throat. 97 00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:24,387 What choice did he have but to drink, 98 00:18:24,507 --> 00:18:27,583 shoot and snort his pain away? 99 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:32,140 Don't forget his genetic predisposition towards addiction. 100 00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:34,282 - It's never been proven. - There have been studies. 101 00:18:34,443 --> 00:18:35,868 Not double-blind studies. 102 00:18:36,028 --> 00:18:38,454 How could there be? Who would be the control group? 103 00:18:38,725 --> 00:18:40,837 As you can see, detoxing can get pretty ugly. 104 00:18:40,957 --> 00:18:42,579 Let's give them some privacy. 105 00:18:43,085 --> 00:18:44,918 Do you want to come over and have coffee? 106 00:18:45,078 --> 00:18:46,249 Sounds good. 107 00:18:46,369 --> 00:18:49,131 I have a video of me singing last night. Do you want to see it? 108 00:18:50,336 --> 00:18:51,867 Gee, why wouldn't I? 109 00:18:53,086 --> 00:18:55,081 It's even better than you coming to the showcase, 110 00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:56,857 now I get to watch you watch me. 111 00:18:58,819 --> 00:19:00,473 Funny how things work out. 112 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,485 ...but he loved the companionship and the wisdom 113 00:19:04,605 --> 00:19:06,982 that his own father failed to provide. 114 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,860 Your parents made the right decision. 115 00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:17,515 I cannot work like this. 116 00:19:27,504 --> 00:19:28,706 This is amazing. 117 00:19:29,458 --> 00:19:32,399 Just sitting on a couch watching TV with a woman. 118 00:19:33,315 --> 00:19:35,899 Not being drunk or high 119 00:19:36,019 --> 00:19:38,351 or wondering if you're a dude down there. 120 00:19:40,552 --> 00:19:43,860 Leo, you are a very sweet, really funny guy. 121 00:19:44,268 --> 00:19:45,880 You're going to do okay. 122 00:19:46,762 --> 00:19:48,607 One day at a time, Penny. 123 00:19:52,471 --> 00:19:53,988 One day at a time. 124 00:19:59,229 --> 00:20:01,295 How long is he going to stay here? 125 00:20:02,054 --> 00:20:04,935 He's a homeless drug addict. Where is he going to go? 126 00:20:06,015 --> 00:20:07,918 Boy, you have a lot to learn about lying.