1
00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:06,840
Problem?
2
00:00:07,133 --> 00:00:09,302
This is the worst cobbler
I've ever eaten.
3
00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:12,722
It tastes like it's made
of actual ground-up shoemaker.
4
00:00:13,723 --> 00:00:14,682
Amusing.
5
00:00:14,807 --> 00:00:17,351
A play on the two meanings
of "cobbler."
6
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:20,772
Hey, guys.
7
00:00:20,897 --> 00:00:23,523
Guess who I found at LAX?
My baby sister Priya.
8
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,692
Excuse me, I object.
9
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,987
You propose a guessing game,
10
00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:29,904
yet you don't give me
enough time to guess.
11
00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:33,742
For the record, I was going to say:
"Your sister Priya."
12
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,370
You haven't changed a bit, have you?
13
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:39,290
Why would I change?
14
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:42,792
The hope has been that you'd
eventually bend to public opinion.
15
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,879
What brings you back to L.A.?
16
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:48,216
I have a one-day layover
on my way to Toronto.
17
00:00:48,341 --> 00:00:50,134
- Corporate merger.
- Can you believe it?
18
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:53,303
Little Priya's one of the lead attorneys
for the biggest car company in India.
19
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:56,557
Given that when we met her,
she was finishing law school
20
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:59,560
and planning an internship
at a large Indian car company,
21
00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:01,645
it's actually extremely plausible.
22
00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:04,981
And your poll numbers
just keep dropping.
23
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:09,069
I want to catch up with all of you,
but first I really must visit the loo.
24
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:11,155
I'm going too,
I'll show you where it is.
25
00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:15,283
All right, this goes without saying,
But ***
26
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,244
Hands off my sister.
27
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:21,373
Why would I touch her?
She's covered with airplane germs.
28
00:01:22,124 --> 00:01:25,043
I'm so not talking to you.
I'm talking to him.
29
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,588
- I've got a girlfriend now.
- Please.
30
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,716
My sister's much hotter
than your girlfriend and you know it.
31
00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:33,468
Let's agree they're both hot.
32
00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:36,013
But that's my sister
you're talking about!
33
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,599
Okay, forget who's hotter.
34
00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:41,561
The first time Priya came to L.A.,
Leonard and I made a pact
35
00:01:41,686 --> 00:01:44,480
out of respect to our
friendship and to you
36
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,481
that neither of us would hit on her.
37
00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:47,983
Did you pinky-swear?
38
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:54,824
Okay, then.
39
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,702
Cobbler. I'm still laughing.
40
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,789
It's really nice to see you again.
41
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,166
It's good to see you, too.
42
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:05,959
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
43
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,913
You got any special plans
with your sister?
44
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,374
Oh, not really.
Just hang out.
45
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:49,127
I always tell people,
"If you have only one day
46
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,713
"in Los Angeles,
make it a train day."
47
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,382
Train day?
48
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:57,719
The fun starts with brunch
at Carney's in Studio City,
49
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,805
a hotdog stand
in a converted railroad dining car.
50
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,100
Next stop, Travel Town,
51
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:06,728
an outdoor museum
featuring 43 railroad, engines cars,
52
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,855
and other rolling stock
from the 1880s to the 1930s.
53
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:13,819
And, finally, we're off to the glitz
and glamour of Hollywood,
54
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,779
for dinner at... that's right...
the Hollywood Carney's,
55
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,948
a hotdog stand
56
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,993
in a different converted railroad
dining car.
57
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,664
I don't think
we're going to do that.
58
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,041
Well, apparently you hate fun.
59
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,967
Priya's not back yet?
Well, I guess that's not unusual.
60
00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:39,302
Women, men,
the whole sitting-standing deal.
61
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:41,053
What are we talking about?
62
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,432
- My plans with Priya.
- He rejected Train Day.
63
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:47,352
Did you make it clear
that it's two different train cars
64
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,020
turned into hotdog stands?
65
00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:50,230
Abundantly.
66
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,648
67
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,235
That's what I said!
68
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,325
- What's new with you guys?
- I have a girlfriend now.
69
00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:05,245
- Good for you!
- I just want to put it out there
70
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:09,040
in case I inadvertently
squirt any pheromones in your direction.
71
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,585
Happy?
72
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,922
What are your plans
while you're here?
73
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,798
I don't know.
I just have the one day.
74
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:19,968
Do you like trains?
75
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,303
76
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,894
You might as well wait
at the airport for your flight.
77
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,898
"You are in a forest.
78
00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:37,485
"There is quicksand to the west,
a path leads to the east."
79
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:40,822
Go east.
80
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:44,492
"An iron gate blocks your way."
81
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,454
Open gate.
82
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,040
"It's locked."
83
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,669
Well, so much for that.
84
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,174
It's getting pretty late.
You're still up?
85
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,093
I found an emulator online
that lets you play classic
86
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:05,597
text-based computer games
from the 1980s.
87
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,641
- That's pretty cool.
- Oh, yes.
88
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:10,435
It runs on the world's
most powerful graphics chip:
89
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,686
imagination.
90
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,774
You've really got to get out more.
91
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,860
Go north.
92
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,071
"You can't go that way."
93
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:22,864
Go west.
94
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,575
"A troll blocks your passage."
95
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,702
Okay.
Fasten your seatbelts.
96
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,206
Kill troll.
97
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:32,832
"With what?"
98
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,043
With sword.
99
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,462
"You don't have the sword."
100
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,715
Good golly,
it's as if it's happening to me.
101
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,928
Raj finally went to bed.
102
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,891
Sheldon's still up.
103
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,394
- You said he goes to bed at nine.
- He does,
104
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,396
but he got caught up
in a computer game...
105
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,148
Hit troll with axe!
106
00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:00,151
Hit troll with axe!
107
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,946
Hit troll with axe!
108
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,073
My, this is one tough troll.
109
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:09,703
- Can't you get rid of him?
- If the past is any indication, no.
110
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:14,374
I'm trapped in quicksand!
The axe is dragging me down!
111
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,711
- Drop axe!
- Drop axe, brillant!
112
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,215
Give me a minute.
113
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,469
- Sheldon?
- Hold on.
114
00:06:26,637 --> 00:06:28,471
Trying to figure out
how to get the bucket,
115
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:31,057
so I can carry the mud
past the dragon.
116
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,268
- You need to work in the morning.
- I know!
117
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,813
- Then bed, mister!
- Five more minutes!
118
00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:38,607
Really?
119
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,734
You're going to risk getting sleepy
in the middle
120
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:42,736
of your thermodynamic
fluctuations seminar?
121
00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,779
You know what happens
when you yawn in public.
122
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:51,578
Everyone will see
my oddly shaped uvula.
123
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,874
You don't want that, do you?
124
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:02,630
But it's a shame our society
mocks the differently uvulated.
125
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,634
Who was at the door?
126
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,888
- Building manager.
- They have to fix a pipe,
127
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,473
the water'll be off tomorrow
from noon to 2:00.
128
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:15,643
That's unacceptable.
We're supposed to write a notice.
129
00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:17,395
It doesn't matter, we'll be at work.
130
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:21,608
What if I spill tomato soup on my shirt,
and have to come home to change,
131
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,943
only to find there's no water
for an enzyme soak?
132
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,028
Bifurcated uvula, Sheldon!
133
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,366
I'll have the chicken noodle.
Good night!
134
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,497
We're going to have
to be very quiet.
135
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,045
I know how to get the bucket!
136
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,838
I can turn the axe around
137
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,216
and use the handle to reach it.
138
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,141
Let's see.
139
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,845
Go north.
140
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,806
"You are in a forest."
141
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,307
Go north.
142
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:57,185
"You are in a forest."
Go north.
143
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,688
"You are in a forest."
Oh dear, I believe I'm lost.
144
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,273
I'll have to get
a fresh start tomorrow.
145
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,192
No! You just took a wrong turn.
146
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,277
You need to map it out.
I'll help you.
147
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:09,864
You stopped at the stream,
and you turned north three times?
148
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,991
You're right. You're lost.
Good luck.
149
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:21,710
Leonard.
Wake up.
150
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,211
- Sorry.
- For what?
151
00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:25,213
I don't know.
When I'm in bed with a girl,
152
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,090
it's my go-to response.
153
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,926
It's 6 o'clock.
I have to get back to Raj's
154
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,429
before he wakes up
and realizes I'm gone.
155
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,847
Right. Sure.
156
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,557
I wish you could stay
a while longer.
157
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,394
- Me too.
- You know, I was thinking:
158
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,063
There are some great
research facilities in India.
159
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,732
Where are you going with this?
160
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:48,903
I'm just saying,
I don't have any real ties here,
161
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:52,073
if I were to move to New Delhi,
we could...
162
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:53,408
go out.
163
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,246
Didn't we have this conversation
five years ago?
164
00:08:58,414 --> 00:08:59,539
Yes, but...
165
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,083
things have changed.
You're older, I'm older...
166
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,293
Look, no more superhero bed sheets.
167
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:05,920
Sweetheart,
168
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:08,298
just because we have fun
when I come to town
169
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,967
doesn't mean I want
to have a serious relationship.
170
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:12,886
It doesn't?
171
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:14,471
And besides,
172
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,848
I could never bring
a white boy home to my parents.
173
00:09:18,017 --> 00:09:19,267
They'd have a cow.
174
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,644
Which is a much bigger deal
in India.
175
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:23,897
I'm not that white.
176
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,358
My great-great-grandmother
was half Cherokee.
177
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,277
That's not the right kind of Indian,
but it is something.
178
00:09:29,445 --> 00:09:30,612
You're funny.
179
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,494
- What?
- I heard a woman laughing.
180
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,707
I was trying to see
if I could laugh as a woman.
181
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,337
Good job.
Quite convincing.
182
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:51,049
- I smell perfume.
- Air freshener.
183
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:54,135
And is that lipstick
on your cheek and neck?
184
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,389
- Rash. That's a bad rash.
- My sympathies.
185
00:09:57,514 --> 00:10:00,892
I'm no stranger to the crimson scourge
that is dermatitis.
186
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,146
Can I interest you
in a topical steroid
187
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,106
from my lotion
and unguent collection?
188
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,984
Yeah, that sounds great.
189
00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:12,028
Very well.
I'm sure I can find something
190
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,780
that will help you ditch that itch.
191
00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,618
He's in the bathroom.
Let's go.
192
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,456
Do you prefer ointment or cream?
193
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,670
- Cream.
- With or without a numbing agent?
194
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,839
- Without.
- Really, Leonard?
195
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,508
There are no heroes
when it comes to dermatitis.
196
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:35,635
Fine. With.
197
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:38,888
- Prescription strength or not?
- Use your best judgment.
198
00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:40,598
Well, I think I have
199
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,601
a nice 2009 AnaMantle HC.
200
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,855
It's usually indicated
for acutely inflamed hemorrhoids,
201
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,358
but it also goes nicely
with non-mucosal body parts.
202
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:55,196
- Sounds great.
- Excellent choice.
203
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,992
Okay, hurry, hurry.
204
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:01,703
Come on, come on.
205
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,251
Good morning, Sheldon.
206
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:12,505
For shame, Leonard,
for shame.
207
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,302
And to think, I was ready to waste
208
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:20,179
the last of my good
hemorrhoid cream on you.
209
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,356
Making pretty good time?
210
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:34,235
Is that really what you want
to talk about?
211
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,071
What do you want to talk about?
212
00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:39,782
Please don't tell anyone
I spent the night with Raj's sister.
213
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:41,242
There it is.
214
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,537
What if someone asks?
215
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:47,289
No one's going to ask
if I spent the night with her.
216
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:48,582
Perhaps...
217
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,377
but they might ask me
something else.
218
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:52,753
- Like what?
- Like
219
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:56,424
"Has Leonard betrayed any
of his friends recently?"
220
00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,677
Priya and I are both adults.
221
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,137
I didn't betray Raj.
222
00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:04,640
In fact, you did,
but I was referring to Howard.
223
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:07,977
- What are you talking about?
- April 12, 2005.
224
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:09,979
Bob's Big Boy, Toluca Lake.
225
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:13,399
Raj had just introduced us to Priya
for the first time.
226
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:16,819
She was enjoying the sweet taste
of Hindu rebellion
227
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:19,280
in the form of a Bob's
Super Big Boy hamburger.
228
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:23,743
In order to preserve your friendship,
you and Howard made a pinky swear
229
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,203
that neither of you
would attempt to woo her.
230
00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:28,414
I had a patty melt.
231
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,208
Fine, I betrayed Howard.
232
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,419
- And Raj.
- All right, and Raj.
233
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:34,378
And me.
234
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:38,382
- You?
- Violation of the Roommate Agreement's
235
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,551
overnight guest notification clause.
236
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,554
Okay, fine,
I-I'm a horrible human being.
237
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,514
I'm the Darth Vader of Pasadena.
238
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,017
You're far too short
to be Darth Vader.
239
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:51,729
At best you might be
a turncoat Ewok.
240
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:53,731
My point is:
241
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,733
Priya's gone
and it would be much better
242
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,943
if no one else found out about us.
243
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,363
You mean you want me
to keep a secret?
244
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,950
- I can't keep a secret.
- You can if you try.
245
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:06,660
Think about it this way:
246
00:13:06,785 --> 00:13:09,121
if I were Batman
and you were Alfred,
247
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:10,831
you'd keep that secret, right?
248
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,626
Why do you get to be Batman?
249
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,753
Because Batman has the secret.
250
00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:18,422
- Alfred has secrets, too.
- Like what?
251
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:21,300
Alfred knows
that Barbara Gordon is Batgirl.
252
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:25,137
Which I've now told to Batman.
See, I cannot keep a secret.
253
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:31,901
What?
254
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,439
It's short for
255
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:40,695
- Kind of busy here.
- I know, that's why I shortened it.
256
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:44,448
What do you want?
257
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:48,119
I came to go over your alibi
for last night.
258
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,496
- What alibi?
- You've asked me
259
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:53,124
to lie on your behalf,
and as you know,
260
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,710
I am deeply uncomfortable
with impromptu dishonesty,
261
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:59,463
so I've provided you
with an ironclad alibi.
262
00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:02,133
You couldn't have spent last night
with Priya
263
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,843
because you were with another woman.
264
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,345
I'm so sure I'm gonna regret this,
265
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,180
but who was I with?
266
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,977
The fun-loving and morally loose
Miss Maggie McGarry.
267
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:14,812
Oh, God.
268
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:18,107
You met her at Pasadena's
most popular Irish watering hole,
269
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,358
Lucky Baldwin's,
270
00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,610
where Maggie
spends her nights tending bar
271
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:24,530
with a head full of curls
and a heart full of dreams.
272
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,741
"Leonard, call me if you
are interested in coitus.
273
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,329
"Sincerely, Maggie McGarry."
274
00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:36,208
And if anyone were to actually
call that number,
275
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,752
they will hear this.
276
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,879
Top of the morning to you.
277
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,299
You've reached Maggie McGarry.
278
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:47,386
Leave a message
after the wee little beep.
279
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:52,057
It's pretty convincing, huh?
That wasn't even a real person.
280
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,810
And here is the clincher:
281
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:58,939
a lock of Maggie's
flaming auburn hair.
282
00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:03,319
- Where'd you get that?
- From an orangutan in the primate lab.
283
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:05,738
- An orangutan?
- No one's going
284
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:08,240
to run a DNA test on it, Leonard.
285
00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:09,951
Honestly, you overthink everything.
286
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,579
I don't need an alibi.
287
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,414
Nobody's going to ask
about last night
288
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,375
as long as you just zip your lip.
289
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,004
Thank you.
290
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,298
Don't worry, everything
is going to be fine.
291
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,608
Will you please tell Howard my sister
has never been attracted to him?
292
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,027
Come on, Raj,
293
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:46,529
how am I supposed to know
294
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,657
who she is attracted to
or was attracted to
295
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:53,369
or who she might be
attracted to in the future?
296
00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:58,248
And I have nothing to contribute
to this conversation.
297
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,670
Because I, too,
know absolutely nothing
298
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,673
about Priya's preferences
in male companionship.
299
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,926
And with that, I will re-zip my lip.
300
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:14,473
What did you think of the new episode
of Caprica last night?
301
00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:16,433
- I didn't see it.
- Didn't see it?
302
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:17,643
What were you doing?
303
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,858
- I was out.
- What, on Caprica night?
304
00:16:24,983 --> 00:16:26,819
Yeah, I went for a drink.
305
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,070
Really, you?
306
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:30,865
Where'd you go?
307
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:31,833
To...
308
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,582
Lucky Baldwin's.
309
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,545
I've heard of that place.
310
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:48,549
Isn't that Pasadena's favorite Irish
watering hole?
311
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,220
Did you meet
anyone interesting there,
312
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:56,432
perhaps a promiscuous,
redheaded barmaid?
313
00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,560
As a matter of fact...
I can't...
314
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:00,686
I can't do it.
315
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,105
Sure you can, you're doing fine,
it's very believable.
316
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:08,528
I'm sorry but the truth is,
I was with Priya last night.
317
00:17:08,696 --> 00:17:10,571
Don't listen to him.
He's still light-headed
318
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,741
from all the Irish whiskey
and pickled eggs in his system.
319
00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:16,410
- What were you doing with her?
- I believe they engaged in coitus,
320
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:17,828
but more importantly,
321
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:22,375
if Leonard had not abandoned his story,
would you have found it plausible?
322
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:24,251
You slept with my sister?!
323
00:17:25,129 --> 00:17:27,129
How could you?
We had a pact.
324
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:29,214
Excuse me,
"How could you? She's my sister"
325
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:32,093
takes precedence
over a five-year-old pinky swear.
326
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:35,262
May I point out,
in a parallel universe,
327
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:38,516
your friends are saying
"Maggie McGarry, she sounds lovely."
328
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:42,102
I admit it,
I may have crossed a line here,
329
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:45,481
but come on,
your sister is a grown woman,
330
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:48,359
and to her, I'm a forbidden piece
of white chocolate.
331
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,821
I don't believe it.
This is a terrible betrayal of my trust.
332
00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:54,574
No, would it help if I told you
333
00:17:54,742 --> 00:17:58,368
that I offered her my heart,
and she kind of stomped on it?
334
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,996
How hard did she stomp?
335
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,165
Very hard.
336
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:05,418
I'm good.
337
00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:13,092
I want to say
that I'd never betray your trust.
338
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,595
Unlike Leonard, I respect you.
339
00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,137
Really?
340
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,725
Was it out of respect
that you didn't tell Raj
341
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:23,895
about the time you dropped
his iPhone in a urinal?
342
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,523
Dude, I put that thing on my face!
343
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:31,235
I think a more amusing
violation of Raj's trust
344
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,987
is when Howard convinced him
that foreigners give presents
345
00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:36,114
to Americans on Thanksgiving.
346
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:41,620
I didn't see you giving back
your Snoopy snow cone maker.
347
00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:45,166
That was all a lie?
This year's gifts are already wrapped.
348
00:18:45,334 --> 00:18:48,085
And as long as we're talking
about betraying our friends,
349
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,629
how about the month Sheldon
spent grinding up insects
350
00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:53,424
- and mixing them into Leonard's food?
- Well, excuse me.
351
00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:55,259
That was not a betrayal.
352
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,469
That was an experiment to determine
353
00:18:57,594 --> 00:19:01,390
at what concentration
food starts tasting "mothy."
354
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,393
You put moths in my food?
355
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:06,937
For science.
356
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:11,066
I can't believe you kissed
my sister with moth mouth.
357
00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:15,071
I can't believe you
used Sheldon's toothbrush.
358
00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:16,989
You used my toothbrush?
359
00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:20,576
Not the brush part,
just the little rubber thing
360
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,620
to pick food from my teeth
and massage my gums.
361
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,963
Okay, I think it's safe to say
362
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:35,883
that we've all done some things
we're not particularly proud of.
363
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,177
But come on, we're friends.
364
00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:42,014
Friends overlook
each other's minor lapses.
365
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,185
For the record,
I'm sorry that I broke our pact.
366
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:48,228
Thank you.
367
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,357
And I'm sorry about your phone
368
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,066
and Thanksgiving.
369
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:56,821
And while we're at it, you don't have
to wash our clothes on the 4th of July.
370
00:19:59,617 --> 00:20:01,116
As long as we're apologizing,
371
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:03,703
I'm sorry I used your toothbrush.
372
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:05,621
And I'm sorry...
373
00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:09,166
but that behavior is beyond the pale
and cannot be tolerated.
374
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,335
We are no longer friends.
375
00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:15,298
I got you a talking Thomas
the Tank Engine for Thanksgiving.
376
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,758
With real puffing smoke?
377
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,306
All right.
378
00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:25,725
But I'm watching you.
379
00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:42,074
Hey, you've got Snoopy out.
Can I have a snow cone?
380
00:20:42,657 --> 00:20:43,700
Well, sure.
381
00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:49,164
Pretty good.
What flavor is this?
382
00:20:49,872 --> 00:20:50,672
Guess.
383
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:53,669
- Papaya?
- No.
384
00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:55,837
- Guava?
- You're so close.
385
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:59,257
- I give up.
- Mango caterpillar.
386
00:21:01,968 --> 00:21:03,469
What are you doing?!
387
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,181
You said you liked it.