1 00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:06,840 Problem? 2 00:00:07,133 --> 00:00:09,302 This is the worst cobbler I've ever eaten. 3 00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:12,722 It tastes like it's made of actual ground-up shoemaker. 4 00:00:13,723 --> 00:00:14,682 Amusing. 5 00:00:14,807 --> 00:00:17,351 A play on the two meanings of "cobbler." 6 00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:20,772 Hey, guys. 7 00:00:20,897 --> 00:00:23,523 Guess who I found at LAX? My baby sister Priya. 8 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,692 Excuse me, I object. 9 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,987 You propose a guessing game, 10 00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:29,904 yet you don't give me enough time to guess. 11 00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:33,742 For the record, I was going to say: "Your sister Priya." 12 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,370 You haven't changed a bit, have you? 13 00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:39,290 Why would I change? 14 00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:42,792 The hope has been that you'd eventually bend to public opinion. 15 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,879 What brings you back to L.A.? 16 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:48,216 I have a one-day layover on my way to Toronto. 17 00:00:48,341 --> 00:00:50,134 - Corporate merger. - Can you believe it? 18 00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:53,303 Little Priya's one of the lead attorneys for the biggest car company in India. 19 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:56,557 Given that when we met her, she was finishing law school 20 00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:59,560 and planning an internship at a large Indian car company, 21 00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:01,645 it's actually extremely plausible. 22 00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:04,981 And your poll numbers just keep dropping. 23 00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:09,069 I want to catch up with all of you, but first I really must visit the loo. 24 00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:11,155 I'm going too, I'll show you where it is. 25 00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:15,283 All right, this goes without saying, But *** 26 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,244 Hands off my sister. 27 00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:21,373 Why would I touch her? She's covered with airplane germs. 28 00:01:22,124 --> 00:01:25,043 I'm so not talking to you. I'm talking to him. 29 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,588 - I've got a girlfriend now. - Please. 30 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,716 My sister's much hotter than your girlfriend and you know it. 31 00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:33,468 Let's agree they're both hot. 32 00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:36,013 But that's my sister you're talking about! 33 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,599 Okay, forget who's hotter. 34 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:41,561 The first time Priya came to L.A., Leonard and I made a pact 35 00:01:41,686 --> 00:01:44,480 out of respect to our friendship and to you 36 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,481 that neither of us would hit on her. 37 00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:47,983 Did you pinky-swear? 38 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:54,824 Okay, then. 39 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,702 Cobbler. I'm still laughing. 40 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,789 It's really nice to see you again. 41 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,166 It's good to see you, too. 42 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:05,959 - Here you go. - Thanks. 43 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,913 You got any special plans with your sister? 44 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,374 Oh, not really. Just hang out. 45 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:49,127 I always tell people, "If you have only one day 46 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,713 "in Los Angeles, make it a train day." 47 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,382 Train day? 48 00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:57,719 The fun starts with brunch at Carney's in Studio City, 49 00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,805 a hotdog stand in a converted railroad dining car. 50 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,100 Next stop, Travel Town, 51 00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:06,728 an outdoor museum featuring 43 railroad, engines cars, 52 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,855 and other rolling stock from the 1880s to the 1930s. 53 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:13,819 And, finally, we're off to the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, 54 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,779 for dinner at... that's right... the Hollywood Carney's, 55 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,948 a hotdog stand 56 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,993 in a different converted railroad dining car. 57 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,664 I don't think we're going to do that. 58 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,041 Well, apparently you hate fun. 59 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,967 Priya's not back yet? Well, I guess that's not unusual. 60 00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:39,302 Women, men, the whole sitting-standing deal. 61 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:41,053 What are we talking about? 62 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,432 - My plans with Priya. - He rejected Train Day. 63 00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:47,352 Did you make it clear that it's two different train cars 64 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,020 turned into hotdog stands? 65 00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:50,230 Abundantly. 66 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,648 67 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,235 That's what I said! 68 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,325 - What's new with you guys? - I have a girlfriend now. 69 00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:05,245 - Good for you! - I just want to put it out there 70 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:09,040 in case I inadvertently squirt any pheromones in your direction. 71 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,585 Happy? 72 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,922 What are your plans while you're here? 73 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,798 I don't know. I just have the one day. 74 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:19,968 Do you like trains? 75 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,303 76 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,894 You might as well wait at the airport for your flight. 77 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,898 "You are in a forest. 78 00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:37,485 "There is quicksand to the west, a path leads to the east." 79 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:40,822 Go east. 80 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:44,492 "An iron gate blocks your way." 81 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,454 Open gate. 82 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,040 "It's locked." 83 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,669 Well, so much for that. 84 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,174 It's getting pretty late. You're still up? 85 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,093 I found an emulator online that lets you play classic 86 00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:05,597 text-based computer games from the 1980s. 87 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,641 - That's pretty cool. - Oh, yes. 88 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:10,435 It runs on the world's most powerful graphics chip: 89 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,686 imagination. 90 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,774 You've really got to get out more. 91 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,860 Go north. 92 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,071 "You can't go that way." 93 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:22,864 Go west. 94 00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,575 "A troll blocks your passage." 95 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,702 Okay. Fasten your seatbelts. 96 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,206 Kill troll. 97 00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:32,832 "With what?" 98 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,043 With sword. 99 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,462 "You don't have the sword." 100 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,715 Good golly, it's as if it's happening to me. 101 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,928 Raj finally went to bed. 102 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,891 Sheldon's still up. 103 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,394 - You said he goes to bed at nine. - He does, 104 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,396 but he got caught up in a computer game... 105 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,148 Hit troll with axe! 106 00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:00,151 Hit troll with axe! 107 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,946 Hit troll with axe! 108 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,073 My, this is one tough troll. 109 00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:09,703 - Can't you get rid of him? - If the past is any indication, no. 110 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:14,374 I'm trapped in quicksand! The axe is dragging me down! 111 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,711 - Drop axe! - Drop axe, brillant! 112 00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,215 Give me a minute. 113 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,469 - Sheldon? - Hold on. 114 00:06:26,637 --> 00:06:28,471 Trying to figure out how to get the bucket, 115 00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:31,057 so I can carry the mud past the dragon. 116 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,268 - You need to work in the morning. - I know! 117 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,813 - Then bed, mister! - Five more minutes! 118 00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:38,607 Really? 119 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,734 You're going to risk getting sleepy in the middle 120 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:42,736 of your thermodynamic fluctuations seminar? 121 00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,779 You know what happens when you yawn in public. 122 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:51,578 Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvula. 123 00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,874 You don't want that, do you? 124 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:02,630 But it's a shame our society mocks the differently uvulated. 125 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,634 Who was at the door? 126 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,888 - Building manager. - They have to fix a pipe, 127 00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,473 the water'll be off tomorrow from noon to 2:00. 128 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:15,643 That's unacceptable. We're supposed to write a notice. 129 00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:17,395 It doesn't matter, we'll be at work. 130 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:21,608 What if I spill tomato soup on my shirt, and have to come home to change, 131 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,943 only to find there's no water for an enzyme soak? 132 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,028 Bifurcated uvula, Sheldon! 133 00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,366 I'll have the chicken noodle. Good night! 134 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,497 We're going to have to be very quiet. 135 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,045 I know how to get the bucket! 136 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,838 I can turn the axe around 137 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,216 and use the handle to reach it. 138 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,141 Let's see. 139 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,845 Go north. 140 00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,806 "You are in a forest." 141 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,307 Go north. 142 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:57,185 "You are in a forest." Go north. 143 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,688 "You are in a forest." Oh dear, I believe I'm lost. 144 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,273 I'll have to get a fresh start tomorrow. 145 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,192 No! You just took a wrong turn. 146 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,277 You need to map it out. I'll help you. 147 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:09,864 You stopped at the stream, and you turned north three times? 148 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,991 You're right. You're lost. Good luck. 149 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:21,710 Leonard. Wake up. 150 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,211 - Sorry. - For what? 151 00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:25,213 I don't know. When I'm in bed with a girl, 152 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,090 it's my go-to response. 153 00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,926 It's 6 o'clock. I have to get back to Raj's 154 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,429 before he wakes up and realizes I'm gone. 155 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,847 Right. Sure. 156 00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,557 I wish you could stay a while longer. 157 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,394 - Me too. - You know, I was thinking: 158 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,063 There are some great research facilities in India. 159 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,732 Where are you going with this? 160 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:48,903 I'm just saying, I don't have any real ties here, 161 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:52,073 if I were to move to New Delhi, we could... 162 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:53,408 go out. 163 00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,246 Didn't we have this conversation five years ago? 164 00:08:58,414 --> 00:08:59,539 Yes, but... 165 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,083 things have changed. You're older, I'm older... 166 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,293 Look, no more superhero bed sheets. 167 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:05,920 Sweetheart, 168 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:08,298 just because we have fun when I come to town 169 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,967 doesn't mean I want to have a serious relationship. 170 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:12,886 It doesn't? 171 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:14,471 And besides, 172 00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,848 I could never bring a white boy home to my parents. 173 00:09:18,017 --> 00:09:19,267 They'd have a cow. 174 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,644 Which is a much bigger deal in India. 175 00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:23,897 I'm not that white. 176 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,358 My great-great-grandmother was half Cherokee. 177 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,277 That's not the right kind of Indian, but it is something. 178 00:09:29,445 --> 00:09:30,612 You're funny. 179 00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,494 - What? - I heard a woman laughing. 180 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,707 I was trying to see if I could laugh as a woman. 181 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,337 Good job. Quite convincing. 182 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:51,049 - I smell perfume. - Air freshener. 183 00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:54,135 And is that lipstick on your cheek and neck? 184 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,389 - Rash. That's a bad rash. - My sympathies. 185 00:09:57,514 --> 00:10:00,892 I'm no stranger to the crimson scourge that is dermatitis. 186 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,146 Can I interest you in a topical steroid 187 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,106 from my lotion and unguent collection? 188 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,984 Yeah, that sounds great. 189 00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:12,028 Very well. I'm sure I can find something 190 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,780 that will help you ditch that itch. 191 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,618 He's in the bathroom. Let's go. 192 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,456 Do you prefer ointment or cream? 193 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,670 - Cream. - With or without a numbing agent? 194 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,839 - Without. - Really, Leonard? 195 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,508 There are no heroes when it comes to dermatitis. 196 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:35,635 Fine. With. 197 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:38,888 - Prescription strength or not? - Use your best judgment. 198 00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:40,598 Well, I think I have 199 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,601 a nice 2009 AnaMantle HC. 200 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,855 It's usually indicated for acutely inflamed hemorrhoids, 201 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,358 but it also goes nicely with non-mucosal body parts. 202 00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:55,196 - Sounds great. - Excellent choice. 203 00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,992 Okay, hurry, hurry. 204 00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:01,703 Come on, come on. 205 00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,251 Good morning, Sheldon. 206 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:12,505 For shame, Leonard, for shame. 207 00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,302 And to think, I was ready to waste 208 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:20,179 the last of my good hemorrhoid cream on you. 209 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,356 Making pretty good time? 210 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:34,235 Is that really what you want to talk about? 211 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,071 What do you want to talk about? 212 00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:39,782 Please don't tell anyone I spent the night with Raj's sister. 213 00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:41,242 There it is. 214 00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,537 What if someone asks? 215 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:47,289 No one's going to ask if I spent the night with her. 216 00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:48,582 Perhaps... 217 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,377 but they might ask me something else. 218 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:52,753 - Like what? - Like 219 00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:56,424 "Has Leonard betrayed any of his friends recently?" 220 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,677 Priya and I are both adults. 221 00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,137 I didn't betray Raj. 222 00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:04,640 In fact, you did, but I was referring to Howard. 223 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:07,977 - What are you talking about? - April 12, 2005. 224 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:09,979 Bob's Big Boy, Toluca Lake. 225 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:13,399 Raj had just introduced us to Priya for the first time. 226 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:16,819 She was enjoying the sweet taste of Hindu rebellion 227 00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:19,280 in the form of a Bob's Super Big Boy hamburger. 228 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:23,743 In order to preserve your friendship, you and Howard made a pinky swear 229 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,203 that neither of you would attempt to woo her. 230 00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:28,414 I had a patty melt. 231 00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,208 Fine, I betrayed Howard. 232 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,419 - And Raj. - All right, and Raj. 233 00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:34,378 And me. 234 00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:38,382 - You? - Violation of the Roommate Agreement's 235 00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,551 overnight guest notification clause. 236 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,554 Okay, fine, I-I'm a horrible human being. 237 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,514 I'm the Darth Vader of Pasadena. 238 00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,017 You're far too short to be Darth Vader. 239 00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:51,729 At best you might be a turncoat Ewok. 240 00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:53,731 My point is: 241 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,733 Priya's gone and it would be much better 242 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,943 if no one else found out about us. 243 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,363 You mean you want me to keep a secret? 244 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,950 - I can't keep a secret. - You can if you try. 245 00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:06,660 Think about it this way: 246 00:13:06,785 --> 00:13:09,121 if I were Batman and you were Alfred, 247 00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:10,831 you'd keep that secret, right? 248 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,626 Why do you get to be Batman? 249 00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,753 Because Batman has the secret. 250 00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:18,422 - Alfred has secrets, too. - Like what? 251 00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:21,300 Alfred knows that Barbara Gordon is Batgirl. 252 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:25,137 Which I've now told to Batman. See, I cannot keep a secret. 253 00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:31,901 What? 254 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,439 It's short for 255 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:40,695 - Kind of busy here. - I know, that's why I shortened it. 256 00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:44,448 What do you want? 257 00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:48,119 I came to go over your alibi for last night. 258 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,496 - What alibi? - You've asked me 259 00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:53,124 to lie on your behalf, and as you know, 260 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,710 I am deeply uncomfortable with impromptu dishonesty, 261 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:59,463 so I've provided you with an ironclad alibi. 262 00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:02,133 You couldn't have spent last night with Priya 263 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,843 because you were with another woman. 264 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,345 I'm so sure I'm gonna regret this, 265 00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,180 but who was I with? 266 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,977 The fun-loving and morally loose Miss Maggie McGarry. 267 00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:14,812 Oh, God. 268 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:18,107 You met her at Pasadena's most popular Irish watering hole, 269 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,358 Lucky Baldwin's, 270 00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,610 where Maggie spends her nights tending bar 271 00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:24,530 with a head full of curls and a heart full of dreams. 272 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,741 "Leonard, call me if you are interested in coitus. 273 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,329 "Sincerely, Maggie McGarry." 274 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:36,208 And if anyone were to actually call that number, 275 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,752 they will hear this. 276 00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,879 Top of the morning to you. 277 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,299 You've reached Maggie McGarry. 278 00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:47,386 Leave a message after the wee little beep. 279 00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:52,057 It's pretty convincing, huh? That wasn't even a real person. 280 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,810 And here is the clincher: 281 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:58,939 a lock of Maggie's flaming auburn hair. 282 00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:03,319 - Where'd you get that? - From an orangutan in the primate lab. 283 00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:05,738 - An orangutan? - No one's going 284 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:08,240 to run a DNA test on it, Leonard. 285 00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:09,951 Honestly, you overthink everything. 286 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,579 I don't need an alibi. 287 00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,414 Nobody's going to ask about last night 288 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,375 as long as you just zip your lip. 289 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,004 Thank you. 290 00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,298 Don't worry, everything is going to be fine. 291 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,608 Will you please tell Howard my sister has never been attracted to him? 292 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,027 Come on, Raj, 293 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:46,529 how am I supposed to know 294 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,657 who she is attracted to or was attracted to 295 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:53,369 or who she might be attracted to in the future? 296 00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:58,248 And I have nothing to contribute to this conversation. 297 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,670 Because I, too, know absolutely nothing 298 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,673 about Priya's preferences in male companionship. 299 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,926 And with that, I will re-zip my lip. 300 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:14,473 What did you think of the new episode of Caprica last night? 301 00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:16,433 - I didn't see it. - Didn't see it? 302 00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:17,643 What were you doing? 303 00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,858 - I was out. - What, on Caprica night? 304 00:16:24,983 --> 00:16:26,819 Yeah, I went for a drink. 305 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,070 Really, you? 306 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:30,865 Where'd you go? 307 00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:31,833 To... 308 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,582 Lucky Baldwin's. 309 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,545 I've heard of that place. 310 00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:48,549 Isn't that Pasadena's favorite Irish watering hole? 311 00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,220 Did you meet anyone interesting there, 312 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:56,432 perhaps a promiscuous, redheaded barmaid? 313 00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,560 As a matter of fact... I can't... 314 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:00,686 I can't do it. 315 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,105 Sure you can, you're doing fine, it's very believable. 316 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:08,528 I'm sorry but the truth is, I was with Priya last night. 317 00:17:08,696 --> 00:17:10,571 Don't listen to him. He's still light-headed 318 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,741 from all the Irish whiskey and pickled eggs in his system. 319 00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:16,410 - What were you doing with her? - I believe they engaged in coitus, 320 00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:17,828 but more importantly, 321 00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:22,375 if Leonard had not abandoned his story, would you have found it plausible? 322 00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:24,251 You slept with my sister?! 323 00:17:25,129 --> 00:17:27,129 How could you? We had a pact. 324 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:29,214 Excuse me, "How could you? She's my sister" 325 00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:32,093 takes precedence over a five-year-old pinky swear. 326 00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:35,262 May I point out, in a parallel universe, 327 00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:38,516 your friends are saying "Maggie McGarry, she sounds lovely." 328 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:42,102 I admit it, I may have crossed a line here, 329 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:45,481 but come on, your sister is a grown woman, 330 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:48,359 and to her, I'm a forbidden piece of white chocolate. 331 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,821 I don't believe it. This is a terrible betrayal of my trust. 332 00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:54,574 No, would it help if I told you 333 00:17:54,742 --> 00:17:58,368 that I offered her my heart, and she kind of stomped on it? 334 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,996 How hard did she stomp? 335 00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,165 Very hard. 336 00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:05,418 I'm good. 337 00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:13,092 I want to say that I'd never betray your trust. 338 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,595 Unlike Leonard, I respect you. 339 00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,137 Really? 340 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,725 Was it out of respect that you didn't tell Raj 341 00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:23,895 about the time you dropped his iPhone in a urinal? 342 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,523 Dude, I put that thing on my face! 343 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:31,235 I think a more amusing violation of Raj's trust 344 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,987 is when Howard convinced him that foreigners give presents 345 00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:36,114 to Americans on Thanksgiving. 346 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:41,620 I didn't see you giving back your Snoopy snow cone maker. 347 00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:45,166 That was all a lie? This year's gifts are already wrapped. 348 00:18:45,334 --> 00:18:48,085 And as long as we're talking about betraying our friends, 349 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,629 how about the month Sheldon spent grinding up insects 350 00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:53,424 - and mixing them into Leonard's food? - Well, excuse me. 351 00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:55,259 That was not a betrayal. 352 00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,469 That was an experiment to determine 353 00:18:57,594 --> 00:19:01,390 at what concentration food starts tasting "mothy." 354 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,393 You put moths in my food? 355 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:06,937 For science. 356 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:11,066 I can't believe you kissed my sister with moth mouth. 357 00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:15,071 I can't believe you used Sheldon's toothbrush. 358 00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:16,989 You used my toothbrush? 359 00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:20,576 Not the brush part, just the little rubber thing 360 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,620 to pick food from my teeth and massage my gums. 361 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,963 Okay, I think it's safe to say 362 00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:35,883 that we've all done some things we're not particularly proud of. 363 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,177 But come on, we're friends. 364 00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:42,014 Friends overlook each other's minor lapses. 365 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,185 For the record, I'm sorry that I broke our pact. 366 00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:48,228 Thank you. 367 00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,357 And I'm sorry about your phone 368 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,066 and Thanksgiving. 369 00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:56,821 And while we're at it, you don't have to wash our clothes on the 4th of July. 370 00:19:59,617 --> 00:20:01,116 As long as we're apologizing, 371 00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:03,703 I'm sorry I used your toothbrush. 372 00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:05,621 And I'm sorry... 373 00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:09,166 but that behavior is beyond the pale and cannot be tolerated. 374 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,335 We are no longer friends. 375 00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:15,298 I got you a talking Thomas the Tank Engine for Thanksgiving. 376 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,758 With real puffing smoke? 377 00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,306 All right. 378 00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:25,725 But I'm watching you. 379 00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:42,074 Hey, you've got Snoopy out. Can I have a snow cone? 380 00:20:42,657 --> 00:20:43,700 Well, sure. 381 00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:49,164 Pretty good. What flavor is this? 382 00:20:49,872 --> 00:20:50,672 Guess. 383 00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:53,669 - Papaya? - No. 384 00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:55,837 - Guava? - You're so close. 385 00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:59,257 - I give up. - Mango caterpillar. 386 00:21:01,968 --> 00:21:03,469 What are you doing?! 387 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,181 You said you liked it.