1 00:00:01,854 --> 00:00:03,321 You know who's got to be the bravest person 2 00:00:03,391 --> 00:00:04,458 in the Marvel Universe? 3 00:00:04,459 --> 00:00:07,728 Whoever has to give She-Hulk a bikini wax. 4 00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:10,030 You want to talk brave, 5 00:00:10,031 --> 00:00:13,434 how about Captain America's undocumented Mexican gardener? 6 00:00:14,502 --> 00:00:15,803 He's not braver than 7 00:00:15,804 --> 00:00:18,272 whoever uses the bathroom after The Thing? 8 00:00:19,274 --> 00:00:21,525 As usual, you're all wrong. 9 00:00:21,526 --> 00:00:23,444 The bravest person in the Marvel Universe 10 00:00:23,445 --> 00:00:26,680 is the doctor who gives Wolverine his prostate exam. 11 00:00:27,849 --> 00:00:29,216 How about the guy who gets 12 00:00:29,217 --> 00:00:31,218 a prostate exam from Wolverine? 13 00:00:31,219 --> 00:00:33,454 Now you're just being silly. 14 00:00:34,356 --> 00:00:35,489 Wolverine's never displayed 15 00:00:35,490 --> 00:00:37,057 the slightest interest in helping others 16 00:00:37,058 --> 00:00:38,826 prevent prostate cancer. 17 00:00:42,764 --> 00:00:44,498 Hello. 18 00:00:44,499 --> 00:00:46,066 Yes, the elevator's out of order; 19 00:00:46,067 --> 00:00:47,768 you'll have to use the stairs. 20 00:00:48,870 --> 00:00:49,870 Of course you can. 21 00:00:49,871 --> 00:00:52,139 Pizza dates back to the 16th century, 22 00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:55,509 while the first elevator was not installed until 1852. 23 00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:58,178 That means that for over 300 years, 24 00:00:58,179 --> 00:01:00,781 people carried pizzas up stairs. 25 00:01:00,782 --> 00:01:02,883 Be part of that proud tradition. 26 00:01:04,552 --> 00:01:07,888 I'll go get Penny while that guy spits on our food. 27 00:01:09,724 --> 00:01:12,226 Do you think they gave Wolverine an adamantium prostate? 28 00:01:12,227 --> 00:01:14,995 That's a stupid question. 29 00:01:14,996 --> 00:01:16,130 We're having a conversation about 30 00:01:16,131 --> 00:01:18,766 probing the heinies of superheroes. 31 00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:21,302 There are no stupid questions. 32 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:28,876 Yes? 33 00:01:28,877 --> 00:01:31,278 Oh, um, is Penny here? 34 00:01:31,279 --> 00:01:33,247 You're Leonard, right? 35 00:01:33,248 --> 00:01:35,983 Yeah. 36 00:01:35,984 --> 00:01:38,385 Damn, it's good to finally meet you, son. 37 00:01:39,487 --> 00:01:41,605 Okay, I think a bit of context here might help. 38 00:01:41,606 --> 00:01:43,691 Oh, hey, Leonard. I see you met my dad. 39 00:01:43,692 --> 00:01:45,276 Oh, good. 40 00:01:45,277 --> 00:01:46,460 Context. 41 00:01:46,461 --> 00:01:47,695 Come on in, buddy. 42 00:01:47,696 --> 00:01:48,696 Take a load off. 43 00:01:48,697 --> 00:01:50,097 Oh, gee, Dad, Leonard can't stay. 44 00:01:50,098 --> 00:01:51,565 He just dropped by to say hello. 45 00:01:51,566 --> 00:01:52,599 Thanks for stopping by, sweetie. 46 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,568 I'll see you later. 47 00:01:56,338 --> 00:01:57,538 Bye. 48 00:02:02,344 --> 00:02:05,129 That was odd. 49 00:02:05,130 --> 00:02:08,782 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 50 00:02:08,783 --> 00:02:12,119 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 51 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:13,754 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 52 00:02:13,755 --> 00:02:16,290 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 53 00:02:16,291 --> 00:02:18,959 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 54 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,628 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 55 00:02:21,629 --> 00:02:23,530 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 56 00:02:23,531 --> 00:02:25,499 ♪ Bang! ♪ 57 00:02:25,699 --> 00:02:28,699 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x09 ♪ The Boyfriend Complexity Original Air Date on November 18, 2010 58 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,799 == Sync, corrected by elderman == == for www.addic7ed.com == 59 00:02:30,804 --> 00:02:32,823 Are you sure you have enough comics? 60 00:02:32,917 --> 00:02:35,485 You're going to be monitoring the telescope for 12 hours, 61 00:02:35,486 --> 00:02:37,387 and by my estimate, you've only selected 62 00:02:37,388 --> 00:02:39,522 seven hours of reading material. 63 00:02:39,523 --> 00:02:41,190 That's even factoring in 64 00:02:41,191 --> 00:02:43,826 your difficulty in parsing American comic book idioms 65 00:02:43,827 --> 00:02:46,296 like "Bamf!" and "Snikt!" 66 00:02:46,297 --> 00:02:48,164 Is that racist? 67 00:02:48,165 --> 00:02:49,799 It feels racist. 68 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,168 Don't be oversensitive. 69 00:02:52,169 --> 00:02:55,171 He's calling you illiterate, not your race. 70 00:02:55,172 --> 00:02:58,107 Oh, okay. Good. 71 00:02:58,108 --> 00:02:59,475 I don't need more comics. 72 00:02:59,476 --> 00:03:01,444 Howard's gonna stop by, we're gonna play 73 00:03:01,445 --> 00:03:04,314 Intergalactic Battleship and Indian Monopoly. 74 00:03:04,315 --> 00:03:07,083 I don't care for novelty editions of Monopoly. 75 00:03:07,084 --> 00:03:10,553 I prefer the classics: regular and Klingon. 76 00:03:11,555 --> 00:03:13,022 Actually, Indian Monopoly's 77 00:03:13,023 --> 00:03:15,258 just like regular, except the money's in rupees, 78 00:03:15,259 --> 00:03:18,494 instead of hotels you build call centers, 79 00:03:18,495 --> 00:03:22,198 and when you pick a Chance card, you might die of dysentery. 80 00:03:22,967 --> 00:03:24,651 Just FYI, 81 00:03:24,652 --> 00:03:25,902 that was racist. 82 00:03:27,988 --> 00:03:30,490 You'll never guess what just happened. 83 00:03:30,491 --> 00:03:32,175 You went out in the hallway, 84 00:03:32,176 --> 00:03:34,110 stumbled into an interdimensional portal 85 00:03:34,111 --> 00:03:36,245 which brought you 5,000 years into the future, 86 00:03:36,246 --> 00:03:38,281 where you took advantage of the advanced technology 87 00:03:38,282 --> 00:03:40,583 to build a time machine, and now you're back 88 00:03:40,584 --> 00:03:42,835 to bring us all with you to the year 7010 89 00:03:42,836 --> 00:03:45,121 where we are transported to work at the Thinkatorium 90 00:03:45,122 --> 00:03:48,524 by telepathically controlled flying dolphins? 91 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:51,728 No. 92 00:03:51,729 --> 00:03:53,463 Aw. 93 00:03:54,298 --> 00:03:56,299 Penny kissed me. 94 00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:58,368 Well, who would ever guess that? 95 00:03:59,103 --> 00:04:00,670 What-what kind of a kiss? 96 00:04:00,671 --> 00:04:02,505 A big kiss. On the mouth. 97 00:04:02,506 --> 00:04:04,874 Is it possible that she was going for your cheek 98 00:04:04,875 --> 00:04:07,577 and you moved and she accidentally got lip? 99 00:04:07,578 --> 00:04:11,014 That happens with me and my mom all the time. 100 00:04:12,282 --> 00:04:13,649 She introduced me to her father, 101 00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:16,152 kissed me and then shut the door in my face. 102 00:04:16,153 --> 00:04:18,521 Maybe she was trying to send you a message. 103 00:04:18,522 --> 00:04:19,589 You think? 104 00:04:19,590 --> 00:04:21,040 Yeah. "This man is not my father. 105 00:04:21,041 --> 00:04:22,525 "I'm being held hostage. 106 00:04:22,526 --> 00:04:23,726 "So I'm going to do 107 00:04:23,727 --> 00:04:25,161 "something insane in the hopes 108 00:04:25,162 --> 00:04:27,263 that you'll call 911." 109 00:04:27,264 --> 00:04:29,065 Penny kissing me is not insane. 110 00:04:29,066 --> 00:04:30,900 She used to kiss me all the time. 111 00:04:30,901 --> 00:04:33,836 Einstein defined insanity as "doing the same thing 112 00:04:33,837 --> 00:04:37,206 over and over again and expecting different results." 113 00:04:37,741 --> 00:04:38,775 By that standard, 114 00:04:38,776 --> 00:04:40,943 Penny is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. 115 00:04:41,912 --> 00:04:43,563 I'm just saying, 116 00:04:43,564 --> 00:04:45,565 it felt like it may have meant something. 117 00:04:45,566 --> 00:04:47,350 Ah, this takes me back. 118 00:04:47,351 --> 00:04:48,818 Leonard obsessing about Penny. 119 00:04:48,819 --> 00:04:51,554 I mean, don't get me wrong, I love your new stuff, 120 00:04:51,555 --> 00:04:54,157 but once in a while it's nice to hear the hits. 121 00:04:54,158 --> 00:04:55,391 Ooh, ooh! 122 00:04:55,392 --> 00:04:59,262 Do "Our babies will be smart and beautiful." 123 00:05:00,597 --> 00:05:03,449 That one always makes me laugh. 124 00:05:05,669 --> 00:05:07,537 Why do I bother talking to you people? 125 00:05:07,538 --> 00:05:09,772 If it'll make you feel better, we rarely listen. 126 00:05:09,773 --> 00:05:12,341 Hey, can I talk to you out here for a sec? 127 00:05:12,342 --> 00:05:13,609 Yeah, sure. 128 00:05:15,112 --> 00:05:18,414 I'm starting to think we're never going to see that pizza. 129 00:05:19,516 --> 00:05:21,968 So you're probably wondering what that was all about. 130 00:05:21,969 --> 00:05:23,986 What, uh, the kissing and everything? 131 00:05:23,987 --> 00:05:27,440 Nah, women do that to me all the time. 132 00:05:27,441 --> 00:05:29,275 Yeah, okay. The thing is, I kind of 133 00:05:29,276 --> 00:05:31,160 told my father we got back together again. 134 00:05:31,161 --> 00:05:33,129 What? Why? 135 00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:34,263 Well, you're the first guy 136 00:05:34,264 --> 00:05:35,832 he's ever really approved of, you know? 137 00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:37,283 You're a scientist who went to college 138 00:05:37,284 --> 00:05:39,001 and you don't have a neck tattoo 139 00:05:39,002 --> 00:05:43,673 or outstanding warrants or... or a baby. 140 00:05:43,674 --> 00:05:47,376 What kind of guys did you used to go out with? 141 00:05:47,377 --> 00:05:49,245 Just guys. 142 00:05:49,246 --> 00:05:51,631 Anyway, when I told him we split up, he was heartbroken, 143 00:05:51,632 --> 00:05:53,282 and he kept bugging me: "How's Leonard? 144 00:05:53,283 --> 00:05:54,951 "Why can't you get back together with Leonard? 145 00:05:54,952 --> 00:05:58,171 I bet Leonard never tipped a cow over on himself." 146 00:05:59,289 --> 00:06:00,640 So to get him off my back, 147 00:06:00,641 --> 00:06:02,225 I told him we worked things out. 148 00:06:02,226 --> 00:06:04,393 Really? 149 00:06:07,698 --> 00:06:09,999 How-how'd we manage that? 150 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,200 What? 151 00:06:11,201 --> 00:06:13,536 I mean, did you apologize? 152 00:06:13,537 --> 00:06:15,137 Did you have to woo me? 153 00:06:16,140 --> 00:06:18,324 Get over yourself. 154 00:06:18,325 --> 00:06:20,543 I whistled, you came running. 155 00:06:20,544 --> 00:06:23,346 Yeah, no, I don't think so. 156 00:06:23,347 --> 00:06:24,780 Okay, why are you arguing about this? 157 00:06:24,781 --> 00:06:25,748 I'm just saying, 158 00:06:25,749 --> 00:06:27,183 if we fake got back together, 159 00:06:27,184 --> 00:06:28,918 that's totally not how it fake happened. 160 00:06:28,919 --> 00:06:29,919 Oh... 161 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:31,120 Okay, whatever. 162 00:06:31,121 --> 00:06:32,822 Will you please just play along until my dad leaves? 163 00:06:32,823 --> 00:06:34,373 Hold on, you actually want me 164 00:06:34,374 --> 00:06:36,626 to deceive your father with some sort of 165 00:06:36,627 --> 00:06:38,161 sham play acting and kissing? 166 00:06:38,162 --> 00:06:40,329 'Cause I'm good with that. 167 00:06:41,398 --> 00:06:43,599 Penny, you out here? 168 00:06:49,673 --> 00:06:51,841 Come on, honey, not in front of my dad. 169 00:06:51,842 --> 00:06:55,528 Relax, I've seen you do a lot worse with a lot stupider. 170 00:06:55,529 --> 00:06:57,563 See? 171 00:06:57,564 --> 00:06:58,898 He doesn't mind. 172 00:06:58,899 --> 00:07:00,066 So, Leonard, I'm taking your gal out 173 00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:01,617 for a steak dinner; you want to join us? 174 00:07:01,618 --> 00:07:03,703 Oh, Dad, that's nice, but Leonard has to work. 175 00:07:03,704 --> 00:07:04,620 Right, Leonard? 176 00:07:04,621 --> 00:07:06,122 Uh, I do, I have to work. 177 00:07:06,123 --> 00:07:07,857 But I'm gonna blow that off to spend the evening 178 00:07:07,858 --> 00:07:10,193 with my sweetie and her father, 'cause, you know, 179 00:07:10,194 --> 00:07:11,994 just the kind of boyfriend I am. 180 00:07:11,995 --> 00:07:13,379 Oh. 181 00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:14,697 Come here, you. 182 00:07:22,723 --> 00:07:25,224 C-7. 183 00:07:25,225 --> 00:07:26,242 Miss. 184 00:07:26,243 --> 00:07:27,443 How could that be a miss? 185 00:07:27,444 --> 00:07:29,212 C-6 was a hit, C-8 was a hit. 186 00:07:29,213 --> 00:07:31,414 Part of your starship has to be on C-7. 187 00:07:31,415 --> 00:07:34,050 Not if it has a hole in the middle. 188 00:07:35,819 --> 00:07:38,854 What kind of spaceship has a hole in the middle? 189 00:07:38,855 --> 00:07:42,425 A Romulan Battle Bagel? 190 00:07:43,894 --> 00:07:45,761 Knock-knock. 191 00:07:45,762 --> 00:07:47,363 Oh, great, you made it. 192 00:07:47,364 --> 00:07:48,564 Come on in. 193 00:07:49,399 --> 00:07:50,866 I invited her. 194 00:07:50,867 --> 00:07:53,002 So where's the telescope? 195 00:07:53,003 --> 00:07:55,904 It's in Hawaii, but Raj controls it from here. 196 00:07:55,905 --> 00:07:58,574 He's hoping to see Epsilon Eridani dim, which would be 197 00:07:58,575 --> 00:08:01,577 evidence of a planet orbiting it. 198 00:08:01,578 --> 00:08:03,112 So we just sit and stare at the screen, 199 00:08:03,113 --> 00:08:04,313 waiting for something to happen? 200 00:08:04,314 --> 00:08:08,417 I did it with you when we rented The Notebook. 201 00:08:11,188 --> 00:08:14,790 Yes, Gena Rowlands is a treasure. 202 00:08:14,791 --> 00:08:17,643 You'd better open up that bottle of wine 203 00:08:17,644 --> 00:08:21,280 or I'm gonna end up with swimmer's ear. 204 00:08:21,281 --> 00:08:22,431 Excuse me. 205 00:08:22,432 --> 00:08:24,166 I can't be drinking, I'm about to make 206 00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:25,934 an important scientific discovery here. 207 00:08:25,935 --> 00:08:29,105 What? Galileo did his best work while drinking wine. 208 00:08:29,106 --> 00:08:30,339 How do you know that? 209 00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:31,907 Well, he was Italian. 210 00:08:31,908 --> 00:08:34,577 It's a reasonable assumption. 211 00:08:34,578 --> 00:08:35,945 Dude, can you even open your mouth 212 00:08:35,946 --> 00:08:37,446 without spewing a cultural stereotype? 213 00:08:37,447 --> 00:08:40,716 Oh, I-I'm sorry, Galileo drank Diet Sprite. 214 00:08:42,302 --> 00:08:44,320 Look, you're my best friend, she's my girlfriend; 215 00:08:44,321 --> 00:08:45,504 you should bond. 216 00:08:45,505 --> 00:08:47,556 You know, like you and my mom did. 217 00:08:47,557 --> 00:08:50,793 Your mom creeps the hell out of me. 218 00:08:50,794 --> 00:08:55,197 Yes, but she's stopped calling you Slumdog Millionaire. 219 00:08:55,198 --> 00:08:56,399 I do appreciate that. 220 00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:59,151 Here we go. 221 00:08:59,152 --> 00:09:01,654 I'd like to propose a toast. 222 00:09:01,655 --> 00:09:03,972 To science and friendship. 223 00:09:05,542 --> 00:09:06,742 Hold on. Wait. 224 00:09:07,344 --> 00:09:08,644 No, it's okay, go ahead. 225 00:09:08,645 --> 00:09:09,712 What? 226 00:09:09,713 --> 00:09:10,846 Oh, I was working with 227 00:09:10,847 --> 00:09:12,682 penicillin-resistant gonorrhea in the lab today 228 00:09:12,683 --> 00:09:15,584 and I was just trying to remember if I washed my hands. 229 00:09:22,626 --> 00:09:24,126 Thanks for the steak, Wyatt. 230 00:09:24,127 --> 00:09:25,494 My pleasure. 231 00:09:25,495 --> 00:09:27,430 It's nice to have dinner with a boyfriend of Penny's 232 00:09:27,431 --> 00:09:28,764 that knows how to use a napkin. 233 00:09:29,966 --> 00:09:32,034 So not funny, Dad. 234 00:09:32,035 --> 00:09:34,437 Let me tell you about this one genius she was going out with, 235 00:09:34,438 --> 00:09:35,971 this-this fella Donnie. 236 00:09:35,972 --> 00:09:37,540 Oh, will you please let it go? 237 00:09:37,541 --> 00:09:39,508 Donnie was gonna make millions turning farm waste 238 00:09:39,509 --> 00:09:41,610 into biofuel and selling it to the government. 239 00:09:41,611 --> 00:09:43,312 A lot of people are doing that. 240 00:09:43,313 --> 00:09:44,747 Oh, see? 241 00:09:44,748 --> 00:09:47,033 Yeah, but all Donnie did was mix pig poop with a little water 242 00:09:47,034 --> 00:09:48,384 and pump it into his mom's Camry. 243 00:09:50,687 --> 00:09:51,687 Yeah, that's great. 244 00:09:51,688 --> 00:09:53,255 It's a funny story. Moving on. 245 00:09:53,256 --> 00:09:55,558 And Donnie was a rocket scientist compared to that boy 246 00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:57,660 who wanted to get beer pong into the Olympics. 247 00:09:57,661 --> 00:09:58,794 What was his name, sweetheart? 248 00:09:58,795 --> 00:10:01,263 Curtis, and I'm pretty sure he was joking. 249 00:10:01,264 --> 00:10:02,198 I don't know. 250 00:10:02,199 --> 00:10:03,599 That petition looked real to me. 251 00:10:04,584 --> 00:10:06,402 Yeah, okay, I think this ends 252 00:10:06,403 --> 00:10:08,170 the ex-boyfriend portion of our evening. 253 00:10:08,171 --> 00:10:11,257 Well, I'm just glad you finally found yourself a keeper. 254 00:10:11,258 --> 00:10:12,575 Thanks, Wyatt. 255 00:10:12,576 --> 00:10:14,944 I'm a keeper. 256 00:10:19,616 --> 00:10:21,484 Leonard, you want to come in for a nightcap? 257 00:10:21,485 --> 00:10:22,718 Oh, gee, Dad, he'd love to, 258 00:10:22,719 --> 00:10:24,153 but Leonard has to work in the morning. 259 00:10:24,154 --> 00:10:26,155 Maybe I could go in a little late. 260 00:10:26,156 --> 00:10:27,456 No, no, no, you can't. 261 00:10:27,457 --> 00:10:29,224 Your career is far too important. 262 00:10:29,225 --> 00:10:31,160 Behind every great man is a nagging woman 263 00:10:31,161 --> 00:10:33,796 who won't let him have any fun, am I right, Leonard? 264 00:10:34,664 --> 00:10:37,600 Don't I know it. 265 00:10:38,919 --> 00:10:39,902 Well, good night, son. 266 00:10:39,903 --> 00:10:41,137 Good night, Wyatt. 267 00:10:41,138 --> 00:10:42,621 Oh, good night, honey. 268 00:10:42,622 --> 00:10:44,406 Good night. 269 00:10:44,407 --> 00:10:47,410 I love you. 270 00:10:49,646 --> 00:10:51,297 Love you, too. 271 00:11:00,123 --> 00:11:01,690 Oh, friggety-frak. 272 00:11:01,691 --> 00:11:04,092 Not this again. 273 00:11:07,085 --> 00:11:11,372 Three, four, five-- pass go, get 2,000 rupees-- 274 00:11:11,373 --> 00:11:13,624 six, seven. 275 00:11:13,625 --> 00:11:16,927 Whoops. Can't go any further. There's a sacred cow in my way. 276 00:11:16,928 --> 00:11:18,346 Bernadette, please tell your boyfriend 277 00:11:18,347 --> 00:11:20,164 to cool it with the cow jokes. 278 00:11:20,165 --> 00:11:21,365 It won't help. 279 00:11:21,366 --> 00:11:23,267 Once he finds a joke he likes, he sticks with it. 280 00:11:23,268 --> 00:11:24,502 Yeah. 281 00:11:24,503 --> 00:11:25,870 Like his haircut material. 282 00:11:25,871 --> 00:11:28,005 Oh, right. Did you get your hair cut? 283 00:11:28,006 --> 00:11:30,541 "No. I got them all cut." 284 00:11:31,309 --> 00:11:33,678 Which is still so funny. 285 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:36,397 And when you go to a Chinese restaurant, 286 00:11:36,398 --> 00:11:38,716 he always gets the same fortune in his fortune cookie. 287 00:11:38,717 --> 00:11:40,351 Right. "Help, I'm a prisoner 288 00:11:40,352 --> 00:11:42,353 in a Chinese fortune cookie factory." 289 00:11:44,356 --> 00:11:46,457 Okay, I think that's enough about me. 290 00:11:46,458 --> 00:11:48,859 He's right. Let's make fun of his mother. 291 00:11:49,861 --> 00:11:51,896 "Howard, come rub my feet! 292 00:11:51,897 --> 00:11:54,598 My corns are killing me!" 293 00:11:55,834 --> 00:11:58,335 "Howard, help me out of the tub! 294 00:11:58,336 --> 00:12:00,705 I'm stuck again!" 295 00:12:04,476 --> 00:12:06,644 Coming. 296 00:12:08,764 --> 00:12:10,981 Hey, lovebug. 297 00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:13,100 Shut up. 298 00:12:13,101 --> 00:12:15,102 You know what I've been doing for the last hour? 299 00:12:15,103 --> 00:12:17,755 Mm, dreamily doodling "Mrs. Leonard Hofstadter" 300 00:12:17,756 --> 00:12:19,389 in a notebook? 301 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,492 Listening to my father go on and on 302 00:12:21,493 --> 00:12:22,993 about what a great guy you are. 303 00:12:22,994 --> 00:12:26,297 You got to admit, I am... I'm delightful. 304 00:12:27,566 --> 00:12:29,600 Why are you making this so difficult? 305 00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:30,835 It's not difficult for me. 306 00:12:30,836 --> 00:12:32,536 I'm having fun. 307 00:12:32,537 --> 00:12:33,738 Leonard. 308 00:12:33,739 --> 00:12:35,372 What do you want me to do? You started this. 309 00:12:35,373 --> 00:12:37,374 Do you want to go over and tell him we're broken up? 310 00:12:37,375 --> 00:12:38,442 No. Well, then, what do you want? 311 00:12:38,443 --> 00:12:39,643 I don't know. 312 00:12:39,644 --> 00:12:41,045 Don't you think that's something you should 313 00:12:41,046 --> 00:12:42,646 have figured out before you stomped over here? 314 00:12:42,647 --> 00:12:45,049 Maybe. 315 00:12:46,151 --> 00:12:47,718 Leonard, Penny, excellent. 316 00:12:47,719 --> 00:12:50,221 I'd like to say I'm very happy that you're back together, 317 00:12:50,222 --> 00:12:52,757 and if I can figure out a way to do so 318 00:12:52,758 --> 00:12:55,192 and sound sincere, I will. 319 00:12:55,193 --> 00:12:56,593 In the meantime, 320 00:12:56,594 --> 00:12:58,662 I'd like to go over some proposed changes 321 00:12:58,663 --> 00:13:00,931 to the roommate agreement specifically to address 322 00:13:00,932 --> 00:13:02,616 Penny's annoying personal habits. 323 00:13:02,617 --> 00:13:04,535 Oh, my God. 324 00:13:04,536 --> 00:13:06,954 What personal habits? I have a list. 325 00:13:06,955 --> 00:13:11,275 FYI, overuse of the phrase "Oh, my God" is number 12. 326 00:13:12,410 --> 00:13:14,111 Okay, Sheldon, you don't have to do this 327 00:13:14,112 --> 00:13:15,496 because Leonard and I are not... Ba-ba-ba-ba. 328 00:13:15,497 --> 00:13:17,615 Are you sure you want to include him in this? 329 00:13:17,616 --> 00:13:19,150 Include me in what? 330 00:13:19,151 --> 00:13:20,718 Is there a plot afoot? 331 00:13:20,719 --> 00:13:23,120 I'll have no truck with plots. 332 00:13:23,121 --> 00:13:24,555 No, you're right. 333 00:13:24,556 --> 00:13:28,025 No, there's... there's no plots, no trucks, no feet. 334 00:13:28,026 --> 00:13:30,394 So what other annoying habits shall we discuss? 335 00:13:30,395 --> 00:13:32,763 Uh, we don't discuss anything. 336 00:13:32,764 --> 00:13:35,800 Leonard is the signatory to the roommate agreement. 337 00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:37,568 As such, he bears responsibility 338 00:13:37,569 --> 00:13:40,471 for all your infractions and must pay all fines. 339 00:13:41,273 --> 00:13:42,673 Fines? Yes. 340 00:13:42,674 --> 00:13:44,241 If Penny's going to be spending nights here again, 341 00:13:44,242 --> 00:13:45,709 you'll need to set up an escrow account. 342 00:13:45,710 --> 00:13:47,144 Sign here. 343 00:13:51,249 --> 00:13:52,683 Hello, Hawaii. 344 00:13:52,684 --> 00:13:55,152 This is Dr. Koothrappali in Pasadena. 345 00:13:55,153 --> 00:13:58,489 I'd like you to reposition the telescope, please. 346 00:13:58,490 --> 00:14:00,891 Scarlett Johansson's house! 347 00:14:02,894 --> 00:14:04,545 I'm kidding, Hawaii. 348 00:14:04,546 --> 00:14:06,463 Mahalo. 349 00:14:06,464 --> 00:14:08,516 Whoo! 350 00:14:09,534 --> 00:14:10,935 It might have been a mistake 351 00:14:10,936 --> 00:14:12,870 to open that second bottle of wine. 352 00:14:12,871 --> 00:14:15,172 Well, live and learn. 353 00:14:15,173 --> 00:14:17,675 So, Raj, do you think this planet you're looking for 354 00:14:17,676 --> 00:14:20,411 could have an atmosphere that supports life? 355 00:14:20,412 --> 00:14:21,545 Maybe. 356 00:14:21,546 --> 00:14:23,414 If it did, I'd be famous. 357 00:14:23,415 --> 00:14:25,349 I'd be on the cover of magazines. 358 00:14:25,350 --> 00:14:26,951 And then, instead of living alone 359 00:14:26,952 --> 00:14:29,286 in my tiny apartment, I'd have a big mansion. 360 00:14:29,287 --> 00:14:30,754 That sounds great. 361 00:14:30,755 --> 00:14:32,223 It is. 362 00:14:32,224 --> 00:14:34,425 If you like wandering around a big, empty house 363 00:14:34,426 --> 00:14:37,061 with no one to love you. 364 00:14:38,797 --> 00:14:40,898 We'd come visit you. No, you wouldn't. 365 00:14:40,899 --> 00:14:44,101 You'd be intimidated by my wealth and fame. 366 00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:46,103 My only friends would be 367 00:14:46,104 --> 00:14:47,538 my genetically engineered monkey butler 368 00:14:47,539 --> 00:14:50,908 and the little people I hired to be my living chess set. 369 00:14:52,944 --> 00:14:55,713 He's taking a turn to the dark side, isn't he? 370 00:14:55,714 --> 00:14:57,882 Hold on. He could come back. 371 00:14:57,883 --> 00:14:59,250 Oh, what's the point of everything? 372 00:14:59,251 --> 00:15:01,685 Nope. He's gone. 373 00:15:01,686 --> 00:15:03,237 You know it's been more than a year 374 00:15:03,238 --> 00:15:04,488 since I've even kissed a girl? 375 00:15:04,489 --> 00:15:07,575 What about that hookup at Comic-Con you told me about? 376 00:15:07,576 --> 00:15:08,859 Oh, grow up. I was lying. 377 00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:11,328 I lie all the time. Nobody wants to kiss me. 378 00:15:11,329 --> 00:15:13,597 Oh, you poor, poor thing. 379 00:15:13,598 --> 00:15:16,500 Raj, you have to know you're a wonderful man. 380 00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:19,169 There are a lot of girls out there who'll want to kiss you. 381 00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:21,105 Where? 382 00:15:21,106 --> 00:15:23,073 You just have to look. 383 00:15:25,844 --> 00:15:28,779 No! 384 00:15:38,189 --> 00:15:40,357 Well, this was fun. 385 00:15:45,864 --> 00:15:47,831 Oh! I think I got a nibble. 386 00:15:47,832 --> 00:15:49,617 Oh, be careful. 387 00:15:49,618 --> 00:15:52,253 Give him some line. 388 00:15:52,254 --> 00:15:54,738 Okay, now reel him in. 389 00:15:54,739 --> 00:15:56,774 Oh, look at that baby. 390 00:15:56,775 --> 00:15:58,275 They're really biting, huh? 391 00:15:58,276 --> 00:16:01,128 Yeah. They do that when you set it on easy. 392 00:16:03,682 --> 00:16:05,783 Oh, that's me. 393 00:16:05,784 --> 00:16:07,301 Hello. 394 00:16:07,302 --> 00:16:08,585 Oh, hi, sweetie. 395 00:16:08,586 --> 00:16:10,888 Yeah, I got up early and didn't want to wake you, 396 00:16:10,889 --> 00:16:13,857 so I went out for coffee and ran into Leonard on the way back. 397 00:16:13,858 --> 00:16:16,593 Guess what-- we're fishing. 398 00:16:16,594 --> 00:16:19,196 Yeah. Right here on his couch. 399 00:16:20,015 --> 00:16:22,232 Hey, baby. I love you! 400 00:16:24,035 --> 00:16:25,769 That's Leonard. 401 00:16:25,770 --> 00:16:28,272 Says he loves you. 402 00:16:28,273 --> 00:16:30,474 What? 403 00:16:31,743 --> 00:16:33,243 I see. 404 00:16:33,244 --> 00:16:35,312 The whole thing's bull squirt, huh? 405 00:16:37,015 --> 00:16:39,316 Well, that's very disappointing. 406 00:16:39,317 --> 00:16:41,518 Bye. 407 00:16:47,559 --> 00:16:48,959 Oh, hey. 408 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,929 There's been something I've been meaning to tell you. 409 00:16:53,014 --> 00:16:55,299 I can't believe you would lie to me like that. 410 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,001 Just for the record, I did not want to be a part of this. 411 00:16:57,002 --> 00:16:58,268 I'll get to you in a minute. 412 00:16:58,269 --> 00:17:00,237 No hurry. 413 00:17:00,238 --> 00:17:02,339 That my own daughter thinks I don't love her enough 414 00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:04,191 to support her no matter what choices she makes-- 415 00:17:04,192 --> 00:17:05,275 well, that hurts me deeply. 416 00:17:05,276 --> 00:17:06,510 I'm sorry, Daddy... Let me finish. 417 00:17:06,511 --> 00:17:07,778 Oh. 418 00:17:07,779 --> 00:17:09,146 I thought we were past the days 419 00:17:09,147 --> 00:17:11,482 when you would try to pull the wool over my eyes. 420 00:17:11,483 --> 00:17:14,752 Telling me the baggie in your underwear drawer is potpourri? 421 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,388 And the pee stick in your bathroom 422 00:17:17,389 --> 00:17:19,456 is to check for diabetes? 423 00:17:23,395 --> 00:17:25,329 You know, I'm sorry. 424 00:17:25,330 --> 00:17:27,131 You're a grown woman, and I respect your right 425 00:17:27,132 --> 00:17:28,999 to make your own decisions, but all I ask 426 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,001 is you respect me enough to be honest about them. 427 00:17:31,002 --> 00:17:33,870 You're right. Look, from now on, I will tell you the truth. 428 00:17:33,871 --> 00:17:36,056 Thank you. Now, why don't you go and put some clothes on 429 00:17:36,057 --> 00:17:38,475 and we'll grab a bite to eat before I head for the airport. 430 00:17:38,476 --> 00:17:40,144 - Now you. - Daddy, he had nothing to do... 431 00:17:40,145 --> 00:17:41,979 - Keep walking. - Okay. 432 00:17:45,483 --> 00:17:49,086 Please, please, please don't give up on her. 433 00:17:51,056 --> 00:17:53,157 What? 434 00:17:53,158 --> 00:17:55,225 I can't go back to the skateboard idiots, 435 00:17:55,226 --> 00:17:56,827 the white rappers and all those 436 00:17:56,828 --> 00:18:00,230 sweaty dumb-asses with their backwards hats. 437 00:18:01,232 --> 00:18:04,234 Gee, I don't know if it's in the cards, sir. 438 00:18:04,235 --> 00:18:05,736 Then, stack the deck. 439 00:18:05,737 --> 00:18:07,171 Cheat. 440 00:18:07,172 --> 00:18:09,273 Lie. I don't care. 441 00:18:09,274 --> 00:18:10,874 I want grandkids before I die, 442 00:18:10,875 --> 00:18:13,777 and I want them to grow up in a house without wheels. 443 00:18:19,851 --> 00:18:21,418 I'll give it a shot. 444 00:18:21,419 --> 00:18:23,087 Thank you. 445 00:18:23,088 --> 00:18:24,972 Now I'm going to do something here to help you along. 446 00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:26,640 Excuse me? Just don't panic. 447 00:18:26,641 --> 00:18:29,893 Now, get your sorry, lying ass out of my face 448 00:18:29,894 --> 00:18:32,129 and make sure I never see it again! 449 00:18:32,130 --> 00:18:34,098 Oh, the reverse psychology thing. 450 00:18:34,099 --> 00:18:35,566 I see. That's very clever. 451 00:18:35,567 --> 00:18:37,801 Don't yap. Just get out. 452 00:18:38,620 --> 00:18:40,437 I'll friend you on Facebook. 453 00:18:47,045 --> 00:18:48,679 Oh, there you are. 454 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,281 Just so you know, I was up all night, 455 00:18:51,282 --> 00:18:53,183 but I have finally completed 456 00:18:53,184 --> 00:18:57,020 the Penny-specific section of the new roommate agreement. 457 00:18:57,021 --> 00:18:58,689 Yeah, well, not necessary. 458 00:18:58,690 --> 00:19:00,457 We broke up again. 459 00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:15,839 Do you even think about other people, Leonard? 460 00:19:17,175 --> 00:19:19,243 Do you? 461 00:19:24,799 --> 00:19:27,501 - Hey. - Oh, how'd it go last night? 462 00:19:27,564 --> 00:19:29,682 Oh, you know. 463 00:19:29,683 --> 00:19:31,434 Same old, same old. 464 00:19:31,435 --> 00:19:33,269 Looked through a telescope, saw some stars. 465 00:19:33,270 --> 00:19:34,687 Big whoop. 466 00:19:34,688 --> 00:19:35,871 Really? 467 00:19:35,872 --> 00:19:37,356 You waited months for time with that telescope. 468 00:19:37,357 --> 00:19:38,491 What happened? 469 00:19:38,492 --> 00:19:41,077 Why? You writing a book? 470 00:19:41,078 --> 00:19:43,329 I'm going to propose a hypothesis. 471 00:19:43,330 --> 00:19:46,582 Last night, Raj accidentally made contact 472 00:19:46,583 --> 00:19:49,218 with an alien civilization 473 00:19:49,219 --> 00:19:51,387 and has been ordered by the United States government 474 00:19:51,388 --> 00:19:53,422 to keep it a secret. 475 00:19:54,257 --> 00:19:55,391 Nothing happened. 476 00:19:55,392 --> 00:19:57,159 Can we please just change the subject? 477 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,694 That sounds rehearsed. 478 00:19:58,695 --> 00:20:00,329 We are not alone. 479 00:20:01,164 --> 00:20:02,164 Hey. 480 00:20:02,165 --> 00:20:03,499 Hey. Hello. 481 00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,768 Hey. Hey. 482 00:20:07,137 --> 00:20:09,505 You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night? 483 00:20:12,042 --> 00:20:13,542 Whoa. 484 00:20:13,543 --> 00:20:15,361 Where did that come from? 485 00:20:15,362 --> 00:20:17,913 He never touched my telescope. 486 00:20:17,914 --> 00:20:19,482 Way to go shutting up. 487 00:20:19,483 --> 00:20:20,616 I did shut up. Now you shut up. 488 00:20:20,617 --> 00:20:21,984 Fine. Thank you. 489 00:20:22,085 --> 00:20:26,022 == Sync, corrected by elderman == == for www.addic7ed.com == 490 00:20:27,023 --> 00:20:29,725 I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.