1
00:00:00,495 --> 00:00:02,824
You feel like trying
something new for dinner?
2
00:00:02,825 --> 00:00:05,171
Maybe Indian, Tex-Mex?
3
00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:07,349
You ever wonder how
humans would be different
4
00:00:07,351 --> 00:00:10,614
if they evolved from lizards
instead of mammals?
5
00:00:12,690 --> 00:00:14,952
Okay, let's talk
about that.
6
00:00:16,398 --> 00:00:19,171
As you know, lizards--
cold-blooded animals--
7
00:00:19,173 --> 00:00:21,296
lack the ability to
sense temperature.
8
00:00:21,299 --> 00:00:24,274
But they do move more
sluggishly when it's cold.
9
00:00:24,276 --> 00:00:26,995
So, lizard weathermen
would say things like,
10
00:00:26,997 --> 00:00:30,345
"Bring a sweater,
it's slow outside."
11
00:00:32,387 --> 00:00:35,534
I love my mind.
12
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,115
We all do.
13
00:00:37,117 --> 00:00:38,544
Now, how about dinner?
14
00:00:38,546 --> 00:00:42,848
Oh, I would assume we'd enjoy
insects or smaller lizards.
15
00:00:42,850 --> 00:00:44,890
We could also pull each other's
tails off and grill them;
16
00:00:44,892 --> 00:00:46,931
they'll just grow back.
17
00:00:49,704 --> 00:00:50,791
Oh!
18
00:00:50,793 --> 00:00:54,755
My life-size cardboard
Mr. Spock is here!
19
00:00:54,757 --> 00:00:58,463
I know he wouldn't care for
an outburst of human emotion,
20
00:00:58,465 --> 00:01:01,355
but, oh, goodie, oh,
goodie, oh, goodie.
21
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:07,972
Commander Spock requesting
permission to be unfolded.
22
00:01:07,974 --> 00:01:08,992
Excuse me.
23
00:01:08,995 --> 00:01:11,543
Permission granted, Commander.
24
00:01:13,178 --> 00:01:15,813
Which is why the more
intelligent the monkey,
25
00:01:15,816 --> 00:01:18,484
the more feces they fling.
26
00:01:20,016 --> 00:01:22,022
(knocks)
Excuse me, Amy.
27
00:01:22,024 --> 00:01:24,098
Penny, do you have plans
for dinner tonight?
28
00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:25,491
Why, you guys going somewhere?
29
00:01:25,493 --> 00:01:26,649
No, I mean just you and me.
30
00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:29,966
You mean, like a date?
31
00:01:29,968 --> 00:01:31,922
Not like a date, a date.
32
00:01:31,924 --> 00:01:36,175
Ooh...!
Ooh...!
33
00:01:36,177 --> 00:01:40,257
Um... o-okay.
34
00:01:40,259 --> 00:01:41,278
Sure.
35
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,986
Ooh...!
Ooh...!
36
00:01:44,988 --> 00:01:46,261
SHELDON:
Oh, no!
37
00:01:46,263 --> 00:01:49,374
They sent the wrong Spock!
38
00:01:50,515 --> 00:01:54,205
Live long and suck it,
Zachary Quinto.
39
00:01:54,206 --> 00:01:56,449
The Big Bang Theory 5x13
The Recombination Hypothesis
Original Air Date on January 19, 2012
40
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,489
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
41
00:02:22,531 --> 00:02:24,644
This is so exciting.
42
00:02:24,646 --> 00:02:26,309
If Leonard and Penny
get back together,
43
00:02:26,311 --> 00:02:28,523
Howard and I can go on
double dates with them.
44
00:02:28,525 --> 00:02:32,470
How come you never invite
Sheldon and me on a double date?
45
00:02:32,472 --> 00:02:35,799
Mm, uh...
46
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,781
How's it going
in there, Penny?!
47
00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:39,778
PENNY:
Just a sec.
48
00:02:40,629 --> 00:02:43,625
Too much?
49
00:02:43,627 --> 00:02:45,788
Yes.
No.
50
00:02:47,355 --> 00:02:50,284
Okay, just hang on.
51
00:02:50,286 --> 00:02:54,080
You just can't handle
her raw sexuality, can you?
52
00:02:54,082 --> 00:02:57,193
When did you and Leonard
break up?
53
00:02:57,195 --> 00:02:58,959
Uh, about two years ago.
54
00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:01,238
Why do you think
he asked you out again?
55
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,188
I don't know.
56
00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:03,420
Maybe he's dying.
57
00:03:03,422 --> 00:03:05,568
That would be so romantic.
58
00:03:05,569 --> 00:03:07,683
He's not dying.
59
00:03:07,685 --> 00:03:09,630
Too bad.
60
00:03:09,632 --> 00:03:12,127
If he were, she could just
throw him in bed
61
00:03:12,129 --> 00:03:15,275
and ride him
right up until he flatlines.
62
00:03:18,139 --> 00:03:20,801
How about this?
63
00:03:20,803 --> 00:03:23,815
Maybe.
Come on.
64
00:03:23,817 --> 00:03:26,662
Yeah, okay, no.
65
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,793
Do you think
you'll sleep with him tonight?
66
00:03:28,795 --> 00:03:30,125
PENNY:
Absolutely not.
67
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,458
Look, we're just
gonna have dinner
68
00:03:31,459 --> 00:03:33,239
and, you know,
see how it goes.
69
00:03:33,241 --> 00:03:35,486
If he were dying,
would you sleep with him?
70
00:03:35,488 --> 00:03:37,101
What?!
71
00:03:37,103 --> 00:03:38,733
Assuming he were
dying of something
72
00:03:38,735 --> 00:03:41,447
that couldn't be
sexually transmitted.
73
00:03:41,449 --> 00:03:44,893
You know, like a spear wound
to the head.
74
00:03:44,895 --> 00:03:46,525
Okay, he is not dying.
75
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:49,188
How do you know?
Are you a doctor?
76
00:03:49,190 --> 00:03:51,403
You can make-believe, though.
77
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:54,550
Sometimes Howard and I pretend
that his arrhythmia is acting up
78
00:03:54,552 --> 00:03:56,248
and I'm a sexy cardiologist.
79
00:03:56,250 --> 00:04:01,459
And the naughty part is
I'm not in his HMO network.
80
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:06,120
Screw it. I'm not gonna
make a big deal out of this.
81
00:04:06,122 --> 00:04:07,620
It's just dinner.
82
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,334
With a dead man.
83
00:04:09,337 --> 00:04:10,899
(growls playfully)
84
00:04:10,901 --> 00:04:12,864
Amy, stop it.
85
00:04:12,866 --> 00:04:14,246
Oh, God, I'm so nervous.
86
00:04:14,248 --> 00:04:15,529
BERNADETTE:
Relax.
87
00:04:15,531 --> 00:04:17,610
You know Leonard's
always been crazy about you.
88
00:04:17,611 --> 00:04:18,825
It's gonna be great.
89
00:04:18,827 --> 00:04:20,439
I know, but we've finally
gotten to a place
90
00:04:20,441 --> 00:04:22,071
where we can hang out
without it being weird.
91
00:04:22,073 --> 00:04:24,070
And what if something
goes wrong? Then what?
92
00:04:24,072 --> 00:04:25,834
Guess it'll just
be Sheldon and me
93
00:04:25,836 --> 00:04:28,681
going on a double date
with Howard and Bernadette.
94
00:04:28,683 --> 00:04:32,394
Sure, we'd love that.
95
00:04:32,396 --> 00:04:36,089
Change your clothes;
we got a lot riding on this.
96
00:04:41,053 --> 00:04:43,049
Mm...
97
00:04:43,051 --> 00:04:45,597
I want to build a road,
98
00:04:45,599 --> 00:04:48,693
but I need wood.
99
00:04:48,695 --> 00:04:50,925
Do either of you fellows
have wood?
100
00:04:57,203 --> 00:04:59,416
I don't understand the laughter.
101
00:05:00,748 --> 00:05:02,179
The object of Settlers of Catan
102
00:05:02,181 --> 00:05:04,194
is to build roads
and settlements.
103
00:05:04,196 --> 00:05:05,642
To do so requires wood.
104
00:05:05,644 --> 00:05:09,156
Now, I have sheep; I need wood.
105
00:05:11,071 --> 00:05:13,184
Who has wood for my sheep?
106
00:05:13,186 --> 00:05:14,949
(both laughing)
107
00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:18,795
Okay, how do I look?
108
00:05:18,797 --> 00:05:21,460
More to the point, why
are you doing this?
109
00:05:21,462 --> 00:05:22,375
What are you talking about?
110
00:05:22,377 --> 00:05:23,839
Did you forget
what Penny did to you?
111
00:05:23,841 --> 00:05:26,087
It took you two years
and defiling my sister
112
00:05:26,089 --> 00:05:28,651
to turn that frown upside down.
113
00:05:28,653 --> 00:05:31,981
I didn't defile your sister,
we had a relationship.
114
00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:35,511
I heard you call her
Brown Sugar.
115
00:05:35,513 --> 00:05:38,341
In my book,
that's defilement.
116
00:05:38,343 --> 00:05:39,873
You want to know my opinion?
117
00:05:39,875 --> 00:05:42,304
Oh, boy, do I!
118
00:05:42,306 --> 00:05:44,468
Sarcasm?
119
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:46,800
No.
120
00:05:46,802 --> 00:05:49,097
All right, then.
121
00:05:50,330 --> 00:05:51,794
The reason you're fixated on
122
00:05:51,796 --> 00:05:54,508
a good-natured simpleton
like Penny is that
123
00:05:54,510 --> 00:05:57,921
she's the exact opposite of
your first romantic attachment:
124
00:05:57,923 --> 00:05:59,886
your brilliant
yet intimidating mother.
125
00:05:59,888 --> 00:06:02,134
Where on earth
did you get that from?
126
00:06:02,136 --> 00:06:05,497
It's in her book,
Needy Baby, Greedy Baby.
127
00:06:07,329 --> 00:06:09,608
That doesn't make it true.
128
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:12,323
It's called nonfiction
for a reason, Leonard.
129
00:06:12,325 --> 00:06:14,587
See you later.
130
00:06:15,454 --> 00:06:17,235
If they ever make
a movie version
131
00:06:17,236 --> 00:06:19,816
of that book, you know who
should play Leonard's mother?
132
00:06:19,818 --> 00:06:21,497
Sandra Bullock.
133
00:06:22,114 --> 00:06:23,361
Why?
134
00:06:23,363 --> 00:06:27,207
Because she's great
in everything.
135
00:06:29,755 --> 00:06:32,052
Now, where were we?
136
00:06:32,054 --> 00:06:34,217
Oh, yes.
Does anyone have any wood?
137
00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:35,266
(both snickering)
138
00:06:35,268 --> 00:06:36,580
Oh, come on!
139
00:06:36,582 --> 00:06:38,379
I just want wood.
140
00:06:38,381 --> 00:06:40,176
Why are you making it so hard?
141
00:06:40,178 --> 00:06:41,726
(both laughing)
142
00:06:48,735 --> 00:06:51,565
So, do they have a name
for a first date
143
00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:53,447
with someone
you used to go out with?
144
00:06:53,449 --> 00:06:55,527
Oh, that's a good question.
145
00:06:55,529 --> 00:06:57,059
How about "awkward"?
146
00:06:57,061 --> 00:07:00,073
Yeah, that sounds right.
147
00:07:00,075 --> 00:07:01,854
Yeah?
148
00:07:01,857 --> 00:07:05,601
Hey, how about if we pretend
we're actually on a first date?
149
00:07:05,603 --> 00:07:06,882
See how that goes.
150
00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:07,898
Okay.
151
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:10,013
(clears throat)
152
00:07:10,015 --> 00:07:12,560
So, Polly,
tell me about yourself.
153
00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:13,592
(chuckles)
154
00:07:13,594 --> 00:07:14,591
It's Penny.
155
00:07:14,593 --> 00:07:16,539
Oh, sorry, yeah.
Awkward.
156
00:07:16,541 --> 00:07:18,869
(laughs)
157
00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:20,219
Okay, uh, let's see.
158
00:07:20,221 --> 00:07:23,465
I'm from Nebraska, and ever
since I was a little girl,
159
00:07:23,467 --> 00:07:26,046
I dreamed of moving to L.A.
and becoming a movie star.
160
00:07:26,048 --> 00:07:27,627
Anyway,
161
00:07:27,629 --> 00:07:30,408
after four years of acting
lessons and waiting tables,
162
00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:32,356
I've done
a hemorrhoid commercial
163
00:07:32,358 --> 00:07:35,037
and a production of Anne Frank
above a bowling alley.
164
00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:36,152
(chuckles)
165
00:07:36,154 --> 00:07:39,199
So, you know,
dreams do come true.
166
00:07:40,149 --> 00:07:41,113
Your turn.
167
00:07:41,115 --> 00:07:42,179
Uh, let's see.
168
00:07:42,181 --> 00:07:43,361
(clears throat)
169
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,674
Uh, I am an experimental
physicist at Cal-Tech,
170
00:07:45,676 --> 00:07:48,938
most of my research is
with high-powered lasers,
171
00:07:48,940 --> 00:07:51,269
and, oh, I've just gotten
a big government grant
172
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,601
to see if they can be used
to knock out
173
00:07:53,602 --> 00:07:54,716
incoming ballistic missiles.
174
00:07:54,718 --> 00:07:56,164
Wow. Can they?
175
00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:57,962
Oh, God, no.
176
00:08:01,493 --> 00:08:03,324
The money's pretty good.
177
00:08:04,506 --> 00:08:08,035
And I used the equipment
to make my own Bat-signal.
178
00:08:08,037 --> 00:08:09,167
(laughs)
179
00:08:09,169 --> 00:08:10,333
Bat-signal?
180
00:08:10,335 --> 00:08:11,782
What are you, some kind of nerd?
181
00:08:11,784 --> 00:08:15,527
Not some kind of nerd,
I'm the king of the nerds.
182
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:16,993
(laughs)
183
00:08:19,357 --> 00:08:20,988
What does that mean?
184
00:08:20,990 --> 00:08:23,736
Uh, it means
if anyone displeases me,
185
00:08:23,738 --> 00:08:26,332
I don't help them
set up their printer.
186
00:08:26,334 --> 00:08:28,014
(laughs)
187
00:08:28,016 --> 00:08:29,512
You are so funny.
188
00:08:29,514 --> 00:08:30,728
Good.
189
00:08:30,730 --> 00:08:32,643
Remember that
when I take my shirt off.
190
00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:33,841
(both laugh)
191
00:08:35,674 --> 00:08:36,722
Leonard, this is nice.
192
00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:38,003
I'm so glad we did this.
193
00:08:38,005 --> 00:08:39,103
Me, too.
194
00:08:41,218 --> 00:08:42,283
So what do you think?
195
00:08:42,285 --> 00:08:43,548
Are we gonna get back together?
196
00:08:43,550 --> 00:08:46,162
Whoa. Not so fast.
197
00:08:46,164 --> 00:08:48,010
I'm sorry, what did I say?
198
00:08:48,012 --> 00:08:51,740
Leonard, you know I will always
have feelings for you.
199
00:08:51,742 --> 00:08:53,288
Oh, God.
What?
200
00:08:53,290 --> 00:08:54,704
You said "always."
201
00:08:54,706 --> 00:08:56,268
You'll always have
feelings for me.
202
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:57,200
So?
203
00:08:57,202 --> 00:08:58,732
So, that sounds more like
204
00:08:58,734 --> 00:09:00,647
something you'd say
if you didn't want
205
00:09:00,649 --> 00:09:01,779
a relationship with someone.
206
00:09:01,781 --> 00:09:03,194
"This isn't working out,
207
00:09:03,196 --> 00:09:04,975
but I'll always have
feelings for you."
208
00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:06,856
"I'm sorry I slept
with your best friend,
209
00:09:06,858 --> 00:09:08,754
but I'll always have
feelings for you."
210
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:10,220
"Here's the thing, Lisa,
211
00:09:10,222 --> 00:09:13,966
I'm into dudes now, but I'll
always have feelings for you."
212
00:09:13,968 --> 00:09:16,347
How would you say it?
213
00:09:16,349 --> 00:09:18,245
I have feelings for you.
214
00:09:18,247 --> 00:09:19,543
It's the same thing.
No, it's not.
215
00:09:19,545 --> 00:09:20,909
"Always" made it worse.
216
00:09:20,911 --> 00:09:21,907
You're overthinking this.
217
00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:23,123
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
218
00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:24,538
You always overthink things.
219
00:09:24,540 --> 00:09:26,254
Th-There you go.
"Always" made it worse.
220
00:09:28,019 --> 00:09:31,398
See, this is where everything
goes wrong: when we talk.
221
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:36,159
Well, I don't know how you have
a relationship without talking.
222
00:09:36,161 --> 00:09:37,659
Hey, I went out with this guy TJ
223
00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:39,023
for eight months,
we never talked.
224
00:09:39,025 --> 00:09:41,238
To this day, I don't even know
what TJ stands for.
225
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,885
Wait, if you guys
didn't talk, what--
226
00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:45,650
Never mind, stupid question.
227
00:09:48,897 --> 00:09:52,875
And now that I have
some wood,
228
00:09:52,877 --> 00:09:57,138
I'm going to begin
the erection of my settlement.
229
00:09:58,255 --> 00:10:00,750
He's got to be
doing this on purpose.
230
00:10:00,752 --> 00:10:02,299
(laughs)
231
00:10:04,215 --> 00:10:05,695
Ooh, 8:30.
232
00:10:05,697 --> 00:10:09,192
You and Penny decide to go out
and paint the town beige?
233
00:10:09,194 --> 00:10:12,354
You're 30 years old
and you live with your mother.
234
00:10:15,187 --> 00:10:17,183
I guess it didn't go well.
235
00:10:17,185 --> 00:10:18,715
We don't know that.
236
00:10:18,717 --> 00:10:19,864
Not to a certainty.
237
00:10:19,866 --> 00:10:22,612
All we know
is that Leonard is home.
238
00:10:22,614 --> 00:10:25,525
(Leonard screams)
239
00:10:25,527 --> 00:10:28,005
How about now?
240
00:10:28,007 --> 00:10:30,935
Again, not enough
evidence.
241
00:10:30,937 --> 00:10:33,966
For all we know,
he's being murdered.
242
00:10:35,965 --> 00:10:37,628
Now, back to our game.
243
00:10:37,630 --> 00:10:40,975
You were in the middle
of an erection.
244
00:10:44,106 --> 00:10:47,335
Oh, of course.
It's right here in my hand.
245
00:10:53,863 --> 00:10:56,076
(cell phone chimes)
246
00:10:57,975 --> 00:11:01,270
(grunting quietly)
247
00:11:01,272 --> 00:11:03,818
What does she want from me now?
248
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:09,463
What's up?
249
00:11:09,465 --> 00:11:11,960
Do not overthink this.
250
00:11:19,219 --> 00:11:22,299
I don't understand.
Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup.
251
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:24,662
Okay, but earlier
it seemed like...
252
00:11:24,664 --> 00:11:26,877
No talking.
253
00:11:28,327 --> 00:11:31,106
Even during? 'Cause
sometimes I have questions.
254
00:11:36,986 --> 00:11:39,880
(panting)
255
00:11:39,881 --> 00:11:43,225
Well, that was fun.
256
00:11:43,227 --> 00:11:46,006
Yeah, except for when I got
the foot cramp.
257
00:11:46,008 --> 00:11:47,703
You hung in there, though.
258
00:11:47,705 --> 00:11:50,500
There was a lot at stake.
259
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:53,231
So what do you
want to do now?
260
00:11:53,233 --> 00:11:55,811
Well, I want to go get
my asthma inhaler,
261
00:11:55,813 --> 00:11:58,009
but it might ruin the moment.
262
00:11:58,011 --> 00:11:59,824
(grunts)
263
00:11:59,826 --> 00:12:02,821
Just, just
help me out here.
264
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:05,485
How does a miserable date
end in sex?
265
00:12:05,487 --> 00:12:08,066
I don't know,
it's complicated.
266
00:12:08,068 --> 00:12:09,814
Well, I'm
a pretty smart guy,
267
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:12,195
and right now my brain has
dibs on the blood supply,
268
00:12:12,197 --> 00:12:14,193
so give it a go.
269
00:12:14,195 --> 00:12:16,806
Okay, it's just,
270
00:12:16,808 --> 00:12:18,721
at the restaurant
when you said
271
00:12:18,723 --> 00:12:20,137
you wanted us to
be together again,
272
00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:24,948
it got very real very
fast and I panicked.
273
00:12:24,950 --> 00:12:26,180
Why?
274
00:12:26,182 --> 00:12:28,245
What are you
afraid of?
275
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,959
Well, what if
we do go out
276
00:12:29,961 --> 00:12:32,541
and I do something stupid
and dump you again?
277
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:33,838
What if I dump you?
278
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:34,988
(scoffs)
279
00:12:38,252 --> 00:12:40,782
Come on, be serious.
280
00:12:40,784 --> 00:12:43,279
Well, how about
if we don't think
281
00:12:43,281 --> 00:12:45,243
about this
as a relationship?
282
00:12:45,245 --> 00:12:47,774
It could be more like
a new version of software.
283
00:12:47,776 --> 00:12:49,772
Penny and Leonard 2.0.
284
00:12:49,774 --> 00:12:52,286
We can test it internally,
shake out the bugs,
285
00:12:52,288 --> 00:12:54,085
and if we both feel
it's solid,
286
00:12:54,087 --> 00:12:56,765
then we'll roll it out
to the public.
287
00:12:56,767 --> 00:12:59,712
So we don't tell people
we're back together?
288
00:12:59,714 --> 00:13:00,677
Exactly.
289
00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:02,759
We pretend like our date
went badly.
290
00:13:02,761 --> 00:13:04,906
Well, we don't really
have to pretend.
291
00:13:04,908 --> 00:13:07,170
And we let them think
that we decided
292
00:13:07,172 --> 00:13:08,336
to just be friends
293
00:13:08,338 --> 00:13:10,250
and that everything's cool.
294
00:13:10,252 --> 00:13:11,782
Okay, great.
295
00:13:11,784 --> 00:13:12,781
(grunts softly)
296
00:13:12,783 --> 00:13:14,946
Hey, I just remembered.
297
00:13:14,948 --> 00:13:17,226
I still got one
of your inhalers.
298
00:13:19,326 --> 00:13:21,522
I can't believe
you kept this.
299
00:13:21,524 --> 00:13:24,186
Yeah, I was gonna throw it
away, but I just couldn't.
300
00:13:24,187 --> 00:13:26,767
That is so sweet.
301
00:13:26,769 --> 00:13:28,931
(sighs)
302
00:13:30,697 --> 00:13:33,027
In 25 to 30 minutes
I'm gonna show you
303
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:35,625
how much
this means to me.
304
00:13:36,841 --> 00:13:40,086
(toilet flushes)
305
00:13:47,047 --> 00:13:47,694
Leonard?
306
00:13:47,697 --> 00:13:49,876
Yeah, hi, hi.
307
00:13:50,826 --> 00:13:52,789
How's it going?
308
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,488
Uh, can't complain.
309
00:13:54,490 --> 00:13:56,452
Thanks for asking.
310
00:13:57,536 --> 00:14:00,648
Well, what were you doing out
at 3:00 in the morning?
311
00:14:00,650 --> 00:14:04,510
Well, uh, uh...
what are you doing up?
312
00:14:04,512 --> 00:14:07,108
I was using the bathroom.
313
00:14:07,109 --> 00:14:10,971
Yeah, well, so was I.
314
00:14:10,973 --> 00:14:13,102
Really?
315
00:14:13,104 --> 00:14:15,799
I didn't see you in there.
316
00:14:17,547 --> 00:14:21,709
Obviously... when I saw
that you were in ours,
317
00:14:21,711 --> 00:14:25,089
I went and used another one.
318
00:14:25,923 --> 00:14:28,786
Where?
319
00:14:28,788 --> 00:14:31,699
The, the gas station
across the street.
320
00:14:32,582 --> 00:14:34,646
In your pajamas?
321
00:14:34,648 --> 00:14:37,194
Yes.
322
00:14:37,196 --> 00:14:39,408
Without shoes?
323
00:14:40,658 --> 00:14:42,854
Yes.
324
00:14:43,637 --> 00:14:46,517
On a cold
winter's night?
325
00:14:48,350 --> 00:14:50,562
Yes.
326
00:14:53,345 --> 00:14:55,557
Seems unlikely.
327
00:14:55,559 --> 00:14:57,838
Did you bring
your asthma inhaler?
328
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:01,218
Uh, uh, uh, yes, I did.
329
00:15:04,448 --> 00:15:06,662
Well, then,
I guess it's plausible.
330
00:15:07,746 --> 00:15:09,826
D-- hang on a
second, mister.
331
00:15:09,828 --> 00:15:11,041
What?
332
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:15,752
After you used the facilities
at the gas station,
333
00:15:15,754 --> 00:15:17,118
did you make a purchase?
334
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,816
What?
335
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,397
It's customary, when
using the restroom
336
00:15:21,399 --> 00:15:24,860
at a retail establishment,
to make a small purchase.
337
00:15:24,862 --> 00:15:25,942
Did you?
338
00:15:25,944 --> 00:15:27,391
No.
339
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:28,755
(scoffs)
340
00:15:28,757 --> 00:15:30,937
Here's two dollars.
341
00:15:33,719 --> 00:15:36,597
Go buy some beef jerky.
342
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:46,071
I don't want beef jerky.
343
00:15:48,270 --> 00:15:50,200
It's not about you.
344
00:15:50,202 --> 00:15:52,748
It's about a poor immigrant
from Pakistan
345
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:54,562
trying to make his way
in America
346
00:15:54,564 --> 00:15:55,994
by working the graveyard shift
347
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:58,657
at the Colorado Boulevard
Chevron.
348
00:16:00,556 --> 00:16:02,737
Fine.
349
00:16:04,853 --> 00:16:07,815
Needy Baby, Greedy Baby indeed.
350
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:11,478
Leonard will be here
in a moment.
351
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,008
He's looking
for a different parking space.
352
00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:14,974
Why?
353
00:16:14,976 --> 00:16:16,339
We were next to a car
354
00:16:16,341 --> 00:16:18,920
with an "Ask me about my
grandchildren" bumper sticker,
355
00:16:18,922 --> 00:16:21,634
and I was afraid if we ran
into them on the way out,
356
00:16:21,636 --> 00:16:24,248
I'd be obligated
to do so.
357
00:16:25,530 --> 00:16:29,025
I'm so disappointed it didn't
work with him and Penny.
358
00:16:29,027 --> 00:16:30,691
Me, too.
359
00:16:30,693 --> 00:16:31,857
Out of deference
to them,
360
00:16:31,859 --> 00:16:35,319
let's not flaunt our
happy relationship.
361
00:16:35,322 --> 00:16:37,651
You have a keen insight
into the human heart,
362
00:16:37,653 --> 00:16:40,098
Amy Farrah Fowler.
363
00:16:41,314 --> 00:16:45,392
We are next to a Suburu with
a Gore/Lieberman bumper sticker.
364
00:16:45,394 --> 00:16:48,106
Well, I doubt they'd want to
talk about that, so we're fine.
365
00:16:49,606 --> 00:16:51,336
I'm surprised to see you here
366
00:16:51,338 --> 00:16:53,634
after it went
so badly with Penny.
367
00:16:53,636 --> 00:16:55,266
Well, hey, we're grown-ups.
368
00:16:55,268 --> 00:16:56,714
We can still be friends.
369
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,011
Boy, I don't know if I
could be friends with Howie
370
00:16:59,013 --> 00:17:00,410
if we broke up.
371
00:17:00,412 --> 00:17:01,259
Why not?
372
00:17:01,261 --> 00:17:04,073
I'm a very vengeful person.
373
00:17:04,075 --> 00:17:06,537
Really?
374
00:17:06,539 --> 00:17:09,617
With access
to weaponized smallpox.
375
00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:13,613
Here you go, guys, let me get
you going with some water.
376
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,195
You need menus
or you know what you want?
377
00:17:15,197 --> 00:17:16,643
Leonard knows what he wants,
but it looks
378
00:17:16,645 --> 00:17:18,592
like he's not gonna
get it from you.
379
00:17:19,641 --> 00:17:21,137
Howard.
No,
380
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,520
that's okay, Bernadette.
381
00:17:22,522 --> 00:17:24,769
Sometimes these things
just don't work out.
382
00:17:24,771 --> 00:17:26,233
Yeah, it's all good.
383
00:17:26,235 --> 00:17:29,180
We-We'll always have
feelings for each other.
384
00:17:30,796 --> 00:17:33,625
Oh, that's nice.
385
00:17:33,628 --> 00:17:36,789
See, she knew
what "always" meant.
386
00:17:36,791 --> 00:17:39,586
Wow, you're like a dog
with a bone, aren't you?
387
00:17:39,588 --> 00:17:41,801
I'm just making a point.
388
00:17:41,803 --> 00:17:44,281
Is the point that you don't know
when to let something go?
389
00:17:44,283 --> 00:17:45,129
People, people,
390
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:46,629
please,
before you say
391
00:17:46,631 --> 00:17:48,211
something you
both regret,
392
00:17:48,213 --> 00:17:50,042
I'd like to place my order.
393
00:17:51,291 --> 00:17:52,822
Yeah, just hang on, Sheldon.
394
00:17:52,824 --> 00:17:54,320
You know why we can't be
together?
395
00:17:54,322 --> 00:17:55,769
Because you always have
to be right.
396
00:17:55,771 --> 00:17:57,267
Oh, that is not true.
397
00:17:57,268 --> 00:17:58,532
I got to go
with Leonard on this.
398
00:17:58,534 --> 00:18:01,030
He is wrong
more than anyone I know.
399
00:18:01,996 --> 00:18:03,693
You know what?
I just realized I'm on a break.
400
00:18:03,696 --> 00:18:04,942
I'll get someone else.
401
00:18:04,944 --> 00:18:06,758
Well...
402
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,471
Leonard, promise me that when
our new waitress comes over,
403
00:18:09,473 --> 00:18:12,468
you will not start a complicated
on-again, off-again relationship
404
00:18:12,470 --> 00:18:15,216
with her,
because I am very, very hungry.
405
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:20,710
(grunting quietly)
406
00:18:20,712 --> 00:18:22,906
(phone chimes)
407
00:18:26,755 --> 00:18:28,951
Unbelievable.
408
00:18:32,947 --> 00:18:34,578
Mind explaining to me
why you were being
409
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,111
such a jerk at the restaurant?
Well,
410
00:18:36,113 --> 00:18:37,991
I was trying to act like
we weren't seeing each other.
411
00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:39,390
That was the plan, right?
No,
412
00:18:39,392 --> 00:18:41,721
the plan was to tell people
we decided to stay friends.
413
00:18:41,723 --> 00:18:42,885
That's a little hard to do
414
00:18:42,887 --> 00:18:46,432
when you're always being
such a tool bag.
415
00:18:46,434 --> 00:18:49,230
You know what? I don't have to
stand here and take this crap.
416
00:18:49,232 --> 00:18:51,095
The hell do you think
you're going?
417
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:54,258
Isn't sex after fighting
kind of what we do now?!
418
00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:56,756
Yeah, kind of, yeah.
419
00:19:04,831 --> 00:19:06,795
What are we doing?
420
00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:07,993
What do you mean?
421
00:19:07,995 --> 00:19:11,707
Every scenario I play out
for you and me ends badly.
422
00:19:11,709 --> 00:19:14,087
That's because you
overthink everything.
423
00:19:14,089 --> 00:19:16,351
SHELDON: Leonard, are you listening
to me?
424
00:19:16,353 --> 00:19:17,783
What?
Yeah.
425
00:19:17,785 --> 00:19:19,781
This is a disaster.
426
00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,030
I distinctly ordered
427
00:19:21,032 --> 00:19:23,478
the Leonard Nimoy Mr.
Spock cardboard standee.
428
00:19:23,479 --> 00:19:25,025
Why would
I feel safer
429
00:19:25,027 --> 00:19:27,889
with Zachary Quinto
at the foot of my bed?
430
00:19:29,022 --> 00:19:33,266
I don't know, he was
pretty badass on Heroes.
431
00:19:33,268 --> 00:19:36,496
You're right, I'll
give him a shot.
432
00:19:38,463 --> 00:19:40,343
Hang on.
433
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:42,007
Penny, do you have
plans for dinner?
434
00:19:42,010 --> 00:19:43,623
Why, you guys going somewhere?
435
00:19:43,625 --> 00:19:44,538
No, I mean just you and me.
436
00:19:44,540 --> 00:19:48,335
Ooh...!
Ooh...!
437
00:19:48,337 --> 00:19:50,832
Uh, have you thought
this through?
438
00:19:50,834 --> 00:19:54,361
Yes, and I think
we should go anyway.
439
00:19:57,077 --> 00:19:57,991
No, can't do it.
440
00:19:57,993 --> 00:19:59,856
Sorry, Quinto,
you're going back.
441
00:20:09,132 --> 00:20:10,912
If you and Leonard
get back together,
442
00:20:10,914 --> 00:20:12,410
Sheldon and I
will finally have someone
443
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,092
to go on double dates with.
444
00:20:14,094 --> 00:20:15,407
What about me and Howard?
445
00:20:15,409 --> 00:20:17,839
Fine, we can double
with you, too.
446
00:20:18,722 --> 00:20:21,034
So insecure.
447
00:20:22,172 --> 00:20:24,916
Where are you guys going to eat?
448
00:20:24,918 --> 00:20:27,730
Penny?
449
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:34,239
Do you, Penny, take Leonard to
be your lawful wedded husband?
450
00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:43,280
Well, it's
a little late for me
451
00:20:43,282 --> 00:20:45,561
to start saying no,
isn't it?
452
00:20:47,061 --> 00:20:49,058
Penny.
453
00:20:49,060 --> 00:20:50,173
Sorry,
just remembered
454
00:20:50,175 --> 00:20:52,021
I've got to stop
at the drugstore.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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