1
00:00:02,710 --> 00:00:04,728
Hey, want to spend
some time playing the new
2
00:00:04,730 --> 00:00:06,029
Star Wars game
this weekend?
3
00:00:06,031 --> 00:00:08,048
Oh, I don't know.
I kind of promised myself
4
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:10,484
I'd get off the computer,
be more physically active.
5
00:00:10,486 --> 00:00:11,702
Get some exercise...
6
00:00:11,704 --> 00:00:14,738
You're about to walk up
three flights of stairs.
7
00:00:16,858 --> 00:00:19,376
Good point, I'm in.
8
00:00:19,378 --> 00:00:20,961
KOOTHRAPPALI:
You know what would be great?
9
00:00:20,963 --> 00:00:23,247
Let's do it
like the old days.
10
00:00:23,249 --> 00:00:25,198
You mean, are you talking
gaming marathon?
11
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,000
Yeah. Start Saturday morning,
12
00:00:27,002 --> 00:00:28,368
go 48 hours,
13
00:00:28,370 --> 00:00:30,337
sleeping bags,
junk food...
14
00:00:30,339 --> 00:00:33,039
Turn off our phones
so our moms can't call.
15
00:00:35,343 --> 00:00:37,644
It would be like our World Of
Warcraft a few years ago
16
00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:39,313
when the neighbors
called the cops on us.
17
00:00:39,315 --> 00:00:40,814
(both chuckle)
18
00:00:40,816 --> 00:00:42,182
They called the cops
because of the smell.
19
00:00:42,184 --> 00:00:44,384
They thought we were dead.
20
00:00:46,888 --> 00:00:49,389
We were badass back in the day.
21
00:00:51,409 --> 00:00:52,776
All right, let's do it.
22
00:00:52,778 --> 00:00:54,828
48 hours of Star Wars gaming.
23
00:00:54,830 --> 00:00:56,914
It's on like Alderaan.
24
00:00:56,916 --> 00:00:58,499
(all laugh)
25
00:00:58,501 --> 00:01:00,334
Hey, Sheldon,
26
00:01:00,336 --> 00:01:02,085
clear your weekend.
Starting Saturday morning,
27
00:01:02,087 --> 00:01:03,587
Star Wars marathon
Whoohoo!
28
00:01:03,589 --> 00:01:05,372
Movies or video games?
29
00:01:05,374 --> 00:01:06,440
No, board game?
30
00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:07,574
Or trading card games?
31
00:01:07,576 --> 00:01:09,126
Or Lego's? Or dress up?
32
00:01:09,128 --> 00:01:10,210
Or comic books?!
33
00:01:10,212 --> 00:01:11,995
Or dramatic readings
of novelizations?!
34
00:01:11,997 --> 00:01:14,581
Yes to all!
35
00:01:14,583 --> 00:01:18,101
We are going to play
the online game.
36
00:01:18,103 --> 00:01:19,353
The online game?!
37
00:01:19,355 --> 00:01:21,638
Bully!
38
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:24,308
Gentlemen, as much as I'm sure
Sheldon would enjoy
39
00:01:24,310 --> 00:01:26,193
playing intergalactic
make-believe,
40
00:01:26,195 --> 00:01:27,611
he and I have other plans.
41
00:01:27,613 --> 00:01:30,380
We are attending my Aunt Flora's
93rd birthday party.
42
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,699
Just tell her I can't come.
43
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:35,101
She'll be disappointed
if we don't show up.
44
00:01:35,103 --> 00:01:36,703
She's 93.
45
00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:38,272
She won't be disappointed
for very long.
46
00:01:40,258 --> 00:01:42,993
No, hang on.
I followed all the protocols
47
00:01:42,995 --> 00:01:44,962
set forth by you in the
relationship agreement.
48
00:01:44,964 --> 00:01:48,549
I made a written record request
72 hours in advance.
49
00:01:49,450 --> 00:01:51,618
I checked the tire pressure
on the car.
50
00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:53,921
I even contacted the Centers
For Disease Control to find out
51
00:01:53,923 --> 00:01:57,174
what shots they recommend
for travel to Orange County.
52
00:01:58,092 --> 00:02:00,844
FYI, it's none.
53
00:02:00,846 --> 00:02:02,729
Amy, the relationship
agreement was not designed
54
00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:05,816
for either one of us
to get our way.
55
00:02:05,818 --> 00:02:07,768
You use it to get your way.
56
00:02:07,770 --> 00:02:10,187
I use it to
get the right way.
57
00:02:11,322 --> 00:02:12,856
The fact that
the right way is
58
00:02:12,858 --> 00:02:15,075
also my way is
a happy coincidence.
59
00:02:16,628 --> 00:02:17,978
You gave me your word.
60
00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:19,196
You're coming with me.
61
00:02:19,198 --> 00:02:20,397
We'll miss you, Sheldon.
62
00:02:20,399 --> 00:02:22,148
Yeah, well,
63
00:02:22,150 --> 00:02:24,117
who wants to spend the whole
weekend, running around
64
00:02:24,119 --> 00:02:26,920
a bunch of pretend planets
battling made up monsters.
65
00:02:26,922 --> 00:02:29,172
That's for babies.
66
00:02:29,174 --> 00:02:30,757
Yeah, but it's got lightsabers.
67
00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:34,428
Yeah, please, Amy!
It's got lightsabers!
68
00:02:34,430 --> 00:02:37,998
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
69
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,668
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
70
00:02:41,670 --> 00:02:43,186
♪ The Earth began to cool
71
00:02:43,188 --> 00:02:45,973
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
72
00:02:45,975 --> 00:02:48,125
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
73
00:02:48,127 --> 00:02:50,844
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
74
00:02:50,846 --> 00:02:52,729
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
75
00:02:52,731 --> 00:02:54,781
♪ Bang! ♪
76
00:02:54,806 --> 00:02:58,306
The Big Bang Theory 5x19
The Weekend Vortex
Original Air Date on March 8, 2012
77
00:02:58,307 --> 00:03:01,807
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
78
00:03:03,876 --> 00:03:05,810
- Hello Stuart.
- Hey Sheldon.
79
00:03:05,835 --> 00:03:06,946
Help you with anything?
80
00:03:06,971 --> 00:03:11,683
Yes. I'm attending a party this
weekend, for a 93-year-old woman.
81
00:03:12,971 --> 00:03:14,552
Can you recommend a gift?
82
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:18,239
Uh, I don't know.
83
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:20,887
Could put a tennis ball
on the end of Excalibur.
84
00:03:20,888 --> 00:03:23,088
Make a pretty badass cane.
85
00:03:24,559 --> 00:03:26,644
Do you supply the the tennis balls?
No.
86
00:03:26,646 --> 00:03:27,995
Then no.
87
00:03:29,714 --> 00:03:30,598
What else?
88
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,765
Hmm...
89
00:03:31,767 --> 00:03:34,902
Oh, have this collectors edition
90
00:03:34,904 --> 00:03:36,236
Batman utility belt.
91
00:03:36,238 --> 00:03:39,490
Maybe she can use it as a
wearable pill caddy.
92
00:03:40,942 --> 00:03:43,243
Well, she'd just look silly
wearing that
93
00:03:43,245 --> 00:03:44,728
without the rest of the costume.
94
00:03:47,699 --> 00:03:50,117
I'm sorry Sheldon, that's it.
That's all I got.
95
00:03:50,119 --> 00:03:51,234
Oh, it's not your fault.
96
00:03:51,236 --> 00:03:52,953
I've been to the
model train store.
97
00:03:52,955 --> 00:03:54,571
I've been to Radio Shack.
98
00:03:54,573 --> 00:03:57,124
This woman is
impossible to shop for.
99
00:03:57,126 --> 00:04:00,010
I'd make fun of Sheldon
for having girl problems
100
00:04:00,012 --> 00:04:03,280
if I wasn't in shock that
Sheldon has girl problems.
101
00:04:03,282 --> 00:04:06,249
No, Leonard,
go ahead and mock.
102
00:04:06,251 --> 00:04:09,837
Like my daddy always said,
"Shelly, women aren't anything
103
00:04:09,839 --> 00:04:12,006
but flippin' pains
in the bottom."
104
00:04:14,209 --> 00:04:15,809
That's what your
father used to say?
105
00:04:15,811 --> 00:04:18,896
Well, I took out the
bad words and the yeehaw,
106
00:04:18,898 --> 00:04:20,948
but you get the gist.
107
00:04:21,866 --> 00:04:23,200
Look, if you don't want to go
108
00:04:23,202 --> 00:04:24,601
to the party, just don't go.
109
00:04:24,603 --> 00:04:25,602
You're a grown man.
110
00:04:25,604 --> 00:04:26,937
Act like one.
111
00:04:26,939 --> 00:04:29,623
Tell Amy you want to spend
the weekend having a sleepover
112
00:04:29,625 --> 00:04:31,875
and playing video games
with your friends.
113
00:04:32,877 --> 00:04:34,328
Maybe she'll dig it.
114
00:04:34,330 --> 00:04:37,214
Women like a firm hand
on the tiller.
115
00:04:37,216 --> 00:04:39,066
I can never find the tiller.
116
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:45,422
I got a book; it didn't help.
117
00:04:45,424 --> 00:04:48,175
Yeah, I always thought
if I were ever enslaved,
118
00:04:48,177 --> 00:04:51,428
it would be by an advanced
species from another planet,
119
00:04:51,430 --> 00:04:55,149
not some hotsy-totsy
from Glendale.
120
00:04:55,151 --> 00:04:57,351
Now, I downloaded an app that
121
00:04:57,353 --> 00:05:00,487
might be helpful
in this situation.
122
00:05:00,489 --> 00:05:01,271
(whip cracks)
123
00:05:01,273 --> 00:05:04,975
(all laugh)
124
00:05:04,977 --> 00:05:06,844
You're right.
125
00:05:06,846 --> 00:05:10,214
I'm smart as a whip. I should
be able to figure this out.
126
00:05:13,317 --> 00:05:15,285
Hey, listen,
I kind of made plans
127
00:05:15,287 --> 00:05:17,588
with the guys this weekend,
but then I wondered,
128
00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:19,673
because we're in this
relationship-beta-test,
129
00:05:19,675 --> 00:05:21,508
if I should have
asked you first.
130
00:05:21,510 --> 00:05:24,461
Then I thought
if I did check with you first,
131
00:05:24,463 --> 00:05:27,548
then you'd think that I was
taking things to seriously.
132
00:05:27,550 --> 00:05:30,000
And then-en I got a nosebleed.
133
00:05:30,002 --> 00:05:32,553
You don't have to check with me.
134
00:05:32,555 --> 00:05:34,555
Do whatever you want.
135
00:05:34,557 --> 00:05:36,223
Oh.
136
00:05:36,225 --> 00:05:39,109
I guess I was hoping for a
different reaction, but okay.
137
00:05:39,111 --> 00:05:41,145
Really, what were
you hoping for?
138
00:05:41,147 --> 00:05:42,529
I don't know,
139
00:05:42,531 --> 00:05:44,531
maybe that you'd
be a little upset,
140
00:05:44,533 --> 00:05:46,617
and then you'd realize that
141
00:05:46,619 --> 00:05:48,869
I'm a stallion
that has to run free.
142
00:05:52,791 --> 00:05:55,242
And that would
turn you on a little.
143
00:05:55,244 --> 00:05:59,029
Okay, I'm an actress.
Ask me again.
144
00:05:59,031 --> 00:06:01,298
Do you mind
if I spend the weekend
145
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:02,916
playing video games
with the guys?
146
00:06:02,918 --> 00:06:04,885
Wha... the entire weekend?
147
00:06:04,887 --> 00:06:06,553
You mean I wouldn't
see you at all?
148
00:06:06,555 --> 00:06:07,504
But I j...
149
00:06:07,506 --> 00:06:08,371
No, no...
150
00:06:08,373 --> 00:06:11,058
I knew what I was getting into.
151
00:06:11,060 --> 00:06:14,378
You can't put a saddle
on Leonard Hofstadter.
152
00:06:16,231 --> 00:06:18,882
Oh, my, is it getting hot
in here?
153
00:06:18,884 --> 00:06:21,185
Ay,papi.
154
00:06:21,187 --> 00:06:24,071
¿Ay papi?
155
00:06:24,073 --> 00:06:25,489
(chuckles)
What is that?
156
00:06:25,491 --> 00:06:27,875
- An acting choice.
- Oh.
157
00:06:27,877 --> 00:06:30,277
So you chose that when
you become turned on,
158
00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:33,163
you turn into Speedy Gonzalez?
159
00:06:33,165 --> 00:06:36,817
Choo got a problem
with that, papi?
160
00:06:37,752 --> 00:06:39,286
Uh-uh.
161
00:06:39,288 --> 00:06:43,173
(knocking)
SHELDON: Penny! Penny! Penny!
162
00:06:43,175 --> 00:06:44,458
Sorry, Stallion.
163
00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:46,710
Your weird friend
Giraffe is here.
164
00:06:48,847 --> 00:06:50,413
Hello, Penny!
165
00:06:50,415 --> 00:06:53,133
I just stopped by to
bring you this gift.
166
00:06:53,135 --> 00:06:54,751
Gummy bears?
Thank you.
167
00:06:54,753 --> 00:06:56,753
Now that you're
in my debt...
168
00:06:58,256 --> 00:07:00,924
...please manipulate Amy
into releasing me from my
169
00:07:00,926 --> 00:07:04,478
commitment to attend her
aunt's tedious birthday party.
170
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:05,729
Not a chance.
171
00:07:05,731 --> 00:07:06,980
All right.
172
00:07:06,982 --> 00:07:08,615
I thought the candy
might not be enough
173
00:07:08,617 --> 00:07:10,818
so let me up the ante.
(clears throat)
174
00:07:10,820 --> 00:07:12,820
These are Cooper Coupons.
175
00:07:12,822 --> 00:07:15,906
These are for various things
I can do for you.
176
00:07:15,908 --> 00:07:17,407
Um, oh, this one
177
00:07:17,409 --> 00:07:19,626
is for one free grammar check.
178
00:07:19,628 --> 00:07:21,161
Uh...
179
00:07:21,163 --> 00:07:23,330
You could use it for emails,
letters,
180
00:07:23,332 --> 00:07:24,665
tattoos, what have you.
181
00:07:24,667 --> 00:07:26,333
Um...
182
00:07:26,335 --> 00:07:27,751
Oh, this is fun one!
183
00:07:27,753 --> 00:07:31,138
This is an afternoon with me at
the California Science Center,
184
00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:34,141
where I point out
their mistakes.
185
00:07:34,143 --> 00:07:36,960
Keep an eye on
those expiration dates,
186
00:07:36,962 --> 00:07:39,062
I've been burned
more than once.
187
00:07:39,064 --> 00:07:41,515
All right, sweetie,
I'm not going to get involved
188
00:07:41,517 --> 00:07:42,649
in your relationship.
189
00:07:42,651 --> 00:07:45,018
Oh, come on.
It's just a simple favor.
190
00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:46,153
Now, when's the last time
I asked you
191
00:07:46,155 --> 00:07:47,154
to do something for me?
192
00:07:47,156 --> 00:07:49,356
Yesterday. You made me
look in your ear
193
00:07:49,358 --> 00:07:51,358
to see if there was
a ladybug in it.
194
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:54,311
When is the last time
I asked you to do something
195
00:07:54,313 --> 00:07:55,645
that wasn't a medical emergency?
196
00:07:55,647 --> 00:07:57,364
Yesterday. You made me
look in your ear
197
00:07:57,366 --> 00:07:59,566
to see if there was
a ladybug in it.
198
00:08:00,818 --> 00:08:02,336
All right, then,
I have no choice
199
00:08:02,338 --> 00:08:03,653
but to go on to plan B.
200
00:08:03,655 --> 00:08:04,821
What's that?
201
00:08:04,823 --> 00:08:05,989
I'm going to run around outside
202
00:08:05,991 --> 00:08:07,991
with a wet head and
try to catch a cold.
203
00:08:12,213 --> 00:08:13,430
Good morning.
204
00:08:13,432 --> 00:08:15,098
Hello.
205
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:17,384
I think you're really
going to enjoy yourself today.
206
00:08:17,386 --> 00:08:19,052
Not only do you get
to meet my relatives,
207
00:08:19,054 --> 00:08:21,438
but since you aunt's nursing
home is catering the party,
208
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,056
all of the food
is incredibly soft.
209
00:08:23,058 --> 00:08:25,442
It's like a vacation
for your teeth.
210
00:08:25,444 --> 00:08:27,010
All right.
211
00:08:28,679 --> 00:08:30,314
You sure you're
okay with this?
212
00:08:30,316 --> 00:08:31,698
Yes.
213
00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:34,034
I decided to find
a way that I could
214
00:08:34,036 --> 00:08:36,519
have this experience
and enjoy it.
215
00:08:36,521 --> 00:08:39,323
Thank you. That
means a lot to me.
216
00:08:39,325 --> 00:08:40,741
Oh, don't thank me.
217
00:08:40,743 --> 00:08:42,192
Thank wireless technology.
218
00:08:42,194 --> 00:08:45,462
I realized, I can go
to your aunt's awful party
219
00:08:45,464 --> 00:08:49,633
and still spend the whole day
gaming with my friends.
220
00:08:49,635 --> 00:08:52,753
Sheldon, my relatives are going
to want to talk to you,
221
00:08:52,755 --> 00:08:55,472
and you're going to be sitting
there playing a game?
222
00:08:55,474 --> 00:08:57,090
Isn't that a
little rude?
223
00:08:57,092 --> 00:08:59,226
Oh, I got that covered.
224
00:08:59,228 --> 00:09:00,928
Headset.
225
00:09:00,930 --> 00:09:03,847
I won't hear a word
the old geezers are saying.
226
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:09,069
You know, if playing that game
is more important to you
227
00:09:09,071 --> 00:09:10,520
than honoring your
commitment to me,
228
00:09:10,522 --> 00:09:12,906
and you don't mind me showing up
at a party all by myself
229
00:09:12,908 --> 00:09:14,057
after I've already told
everybody
230
00:09:14,059 --> 00:09:16,159
I'll be bringing somebody,
then, fine.
231
00:09:16,161 --> 00:09:17,661
Go home and play your game.
232
00:09:17,663 --> 00:09:19,529
(engine starts)
233
00:09:20,164 --> 00:09:21,531
Thanks.
234
00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:24,234
Ooh, listen,
235
00:09:24,236 --> 00:09:27,421
I wouldn't mind
a piece of birthday cake,
236
00:09:27,423 --> 00:09:32,075
provided the old gal's
candle blow is clean and dry.
237
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,309
Here you go.
238
00:09:44,310 --> 00:09:46,560
I've got everything
we'll need for the big game:
239
00:09:46,562 --> 00:09:49,062
lowfat turkey jerky...
240
00:09:49,064 --> 00:09:52,299
low-carb beer...
241
00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:55,102
100-calorie snack pack...
242
00:09:55,104 --> 00:09:57,854
You pick up a Y chromosome
while you were there?
243
00:09:57,856 --> 00:09:59,439
You might be short one.
244
00:09:59,441 --> 00:10:02,059
Hey, I plan on leveling up
in the game,
245
00:10:02,061 --> 00:10:05,195
not my swimsuit size,
thank you very much.
246
00:10:05,197 --> 00:10:07,480
Gentlemen, the game
offers us a choice,
247
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:10,334
between playing for the Republic
and the light side,
248
00:10:10,336 --> 00:10:13,420
or the Sith Empire
and the dark side.
249
00:10:13,422 --> 00:10:14,871
Well, we're always
the good guys.
250
00:10:14,873 --> 00:10:16,373
In D&D, we're lawful good,
251
00:10:16,375 --> 00:10:18,058
in City Of Heroes,
we're the heroes,
252
00:10:18,060 --> 00:10:20,928
and Grand Theft Auto,
we pay the prostitutes promptly,
253
00:10:20,930 --> 00:10:22,996
and never hit them with a bat.
254
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,990
Those women are prostitutes?
255
00:10:29,387 --> 00:10:32,589
You said they were raising money
for stem cell research.
256
00:10:34,392 --> 00:10:37,427
Hey, guys, I got a surprise.
257
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:39,780
Uh, if it's yogurt
that helps ladies poop,
258
00:10:39,782 --> 00:10:41,782
I think Raj beat you to it.
259
00:10:41,784 --> 00:10:45,035
No. Bernadette's
going to be playing with us.
260
00:10:45,037 --> 00:10:48,488
So, that's pretty cool, huh?
Right? Sure it is, yeah.
261
00:10:48,490 --> 00:10:51,358
What, you invited
your girlfriend?!
262
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,360
This is supposed
to be our weekend!
263
00:10:54,008 --> 00:10:56,141
I had no choice.
Last night, she said,
264
00:10:56,143 --> 00:10:57,443
"Why don't we go out
for brunch tomorrow
265
00:10:57,445 --> 00:10:59,728
and then maybe the Arboretum."
And I said, "Well, no,
266
00:10:59,730 --> 00:11:01,063
"I promised the guys
I was going to play
267
00:11:01,065 --> 00:11:02,531
a video game with them
all weekend."
268
00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:04,400
And she said, "That sounds
like fun. Can I come, too?"
269
00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:06,285
And then I didn't answer
for a second, and then she said,
270
00:11:06,287 --> 00:11:07,620
"Well, do you not
want me to come?"
271
00:11:07,622 --> 00:11:09,187
And then I bought her
a new laptop and the game,
272
00:11:09,189 --> 00:11:11,273
and she's parking
the car right now.
273
00:11:12,742 --> 00:11:14,660
Is the whip sound app
274
00:11:14,662 --> 00:11:16,629
contextually
appropriate here?
275
00:11:16,631 --> 00:11:19,581
Uh, it is, but I think
you might've waited too long
276
00:11:19,583 --> 00:11:21,000
for it to be funny.
277
00:11:21,002 --> 00:11:25,654
(whip cracks)
(laughter)
278
00:11:25,656 --> 00:11:27,973
(laughing):
I was wrong; it's still funny.
279
00:11:27,975 --> 00:11:29,391
Oh, good.
280
00:11:29,393 --> 00:11:31,710
(high-pitched laugh)
281
00:11:35,381 --> 00:11:36,649
Oh.
282
00:11:36,651 --> 00:11:38,984
Amy, what's wrong?
283
00:11:38,986 --> 00:11:40,719
My boyfriend's a jerk.
284
00:11:41,688 --> 00:11:43,405
Well, I know he didn't
cheat on you,
285
00:11:43,407 --> 00:11:44,657
so what happened?
286
00:11:45,692 --> 00:11:48,577
I had to go to my aunt's
party all by myself,
287
00:11:48,579 --> 00:11:50,112
and everybody was like,
288
00:11:50,114 --> 00:11:51,613
"Where's this boyfriend
you're always talking about?
289
00:11:51,615 --> 00:11:54,033
"Is he real, or did you
make him up like Armen,
290
00:11:54,035 --> 00:11:57,036
the miniature horse breeder?"
291
00:11:57,038 --> 00:11:59,788
Who's Armen the
miniature horse breeder?
292
00:11:59,790 --> 00:12:03,075
The pretend boyfriend I invented
to get my family off my back.
293
00:12:03,077 --> 00:12:05,260
It unraveled quickly when
I couldn't answer the question
294
00:12:05,262 --> 00:12:07,763
"How'd you two meet?"
295
00:12:07,765 --> 00:12:10,582
I would have thought
at a miniature horse show.
296
00:12:10,584 --> 00:12:13,085
- Oh, that's good.
- Mm.
297
00:12:13,087 --> 00:12:16,121
I panicked and said Woodstock.
298
00:12:16,123 --> 00:12:17,306
(sighs)
299
00:12:17,308 --> 00:12:20,192
I just wanted to show Sheldon
off to my family.
300
00:12:20,194 --> 00:12:21,443
Sure, I get that.
301
00:12:21,445 --> 00:12:23,762
I mean, he's your first
boyfriend and all.
302
00:12:23,764 --> 00:12:25,981
Not just my first boyfriend,
he's the best boyfriend.
303
00:12:25,983 --> 00:12:27,649
I mean, think about it.
304
00:12:27,651 --> 00:12:30,085
I'm dating Sheldon Cooper.
305
00:12:32,438 --> 00:12:33,572
Yes.
306
00:12:33,574 --> 00:12:36,158
On purpose.
307
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:37,793
He's handsome, he's lanky,
308
00:12:37,795 --> 00:12:39,545
he's brilliant,
309
00:12:39,547 --> 00:12:43,365
and his skin has that pale,
waxy quality.
310
00:12:43,367 --> 00:12:45,868
Well, sickly is the new sexy.
311
00:12:48,538 --> 00:12:51,240
- Yeah.
- Mm.
312
00:12:51,242 --> 00:12:52,775
You know, Amy,
313
00:12:52,777 --> 00:12:55,427
sometimes when you're in
a relationship with someone
314
00:12:55,429 --> 00:12:57,312
you really care about,
the sucky part is,
315
00:12:57,314 --> 00:12:58,931
it leaves you open
to getting hurt.
316
00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:01,767
Do you ever worry about
Leonard doing that to you?
317
00:13:01,769 --> 00:13:04,586
(laughs)
That's hilarious. No.
318
00:13:06,806 --> 00:13:08,574
Get that guy!
Get that guy!
319
00:13:08,576 --> 00:13:11,309
Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!
320
00:13:12,162 --> 00:13:13,095
Dr. Rostenkowski,
321
00:13:13,097 --> 00:13:14,496
it may interest
you to know
322
00:13:14,498 --> 00:13:17,199
that saying "pew, pew, pew"
isn't as effective
323
00:13:17,201 --> 00:13:19,668
as pressing your
blaster key.
324
00:13:19,670 --> 00:13:21,754
In the same way
that saying "whee!"
325
00:13:21,756 --> 00:13:24,206
doesn't make the
land speeder go.
326
00:13:25,992 --> 00:13:28,177
Pew!
327
00:13:29,629 --> 00:13:31,263
Raj, Imperial Troopers
on your tail.
328
00:13:31,265 --> 00:13:32,881
(groaning): Got him.
329
00:13:32,883 --> 00:13:35,768
When Gandhi advocated his
philosophy of non-violence,
330
00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:39,922
I bet he didn't know how much
fun it was killing stuff.
331
00:13:39,924 --> 00:13:42,507
All right, I think
we got them all.
332
00:13:42,509 --> 00:13:44,109
Let's divide up the loot.
333
00:13:44,111 --> 00:13:46,645
BERNADETTE: Ooh, look at this
pretty purple robe I just got.
334
00:13:46,647 --> 00:13:49,114
You should put on yours
and then we'll match.
335
00:13:49,116 --> 00:13:52,017
But I worked hard
to get this armor.
336
00:13:52,019 --> 00:13:53,535
Sorry, I just thought
it'd be nice
337
00:13:53,537 --> 00:13:56,705
if people knew
we were a couple.
338
00:13:56,707 --> 00:13:58,690
Fine, I'll change.
339
00:13:59,626 --> 00:14:02,394
(whip cracks)
340
00:14:06,166 --> 00:14:07,883
(high-pitched laugh)
341
00:14:11,805 --> 00:14:13,581
I don't think I want
to play a game.
342
00:14:13,606 --> 00:14:14,457
Oh, come on!
343
00:14:14,458 --> 00:14:15,722
They're playing one
across the hall--
344
00:14:15,747 --> 00:14:16,947
we should, too.
345
00:14:17,011 --> 00:14:19,478
Okay, we are gonna take
turns bouncing a quarter
346
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,847
off the table, and if it
goes into this cup,
347
00:14:21,849 --> 00:14:23,265
the other person
has to drink.
348
00:14:23,267 --> 00:14:24,850
Then you get to
go again...
349
00:14:24,852 --> 00:14:27,035
(coin clinks in glass)
350
00:14:29,506 --> 00:14:31,023
Like that?
351
00:14:31,025 --> 00:14:33,192
Wow. Yeah, b-beginner's luck.
352
00:14:33,194 --> 00:14:37,112
So, now I will drink this entire
cup of beer, and you
353
00:14:37,114 --> 00:14:39,364
will go again...
(coin clinks in glass)
354
00:14:41,484 --> 00:14:42,734
Uh...
355
00:14:42,736 --> 00:14:44,870
All right. So, yeah, okay,
now I'm gonna
356
00:14:44,872 --> 00:14:48,173
drink this entire cup and then
I'm going to drink another one.
357
00:14:48,175 --> 00:14:51,660
(coin clinks in glass) Okay,
seriously, stop. What the hell?
358
00:14:51,662 --> 00:14:53,128
Spent a lot of my childhood
359
00:14:53,130 --> 00:14:55,413
throwing coins into wishing
wells hoping for friends.
360
00:14:55,415 --> 00:14:57,432
At a certain point, you
start doing trick shots
361
00:14:57,434 --> 00:14:59,751
just to keep
things interesting.
362
00:14:59,753 --> 00:15:02,938
Whoa, give me a second
to catch up here. Hold on.
363
00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:04,456
(guys cheering
across the hall)
364
00:15:04,458 --> 00:15:06,208
That'd be
my boyfriend
365
00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:07,559
happier playing
366
00:15:07,561 --> 00:15:09,278
his dopey Star Trek game
with his friends
367
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,395
than hanging out with me.
368
00:15:10,397 --> 00:15:12,698
- Wars.
- What?
369
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:13,782
Star Wars.
370
00:15:13,784 --> 00:15:15,951
They get all cranky
when you mix the two up.
371
00:15:15,953 --> 00:15:17,035
What's the difference?
372
00:15:17,037 --> 00:15:19,788
There's absolutely
no difference.
373
00:15:21,875 --> 00:15:24,576
How do I get him
to treat me better?
374
00:15:24,578 --> 00:15:25,744
All right.
375
00:15:25,746 --> 00:15:27,913
Let me give you
a little girlfriend 101.
376
00:15:27,915 --> 00:15:30,082
Usually the first move
out of the gate
377
00:15:30,084 --> 00:15:31,383
is you withhold sex,
378
00:15:31,385 --> 00:15:33,952
but that will work better
after Sheldon hits puberty.
379
00:15:33,954 --> 00:15:37,472
So, I'd say...
380
00:15:37,474 --> 00:15:39,424
give him the silent treatment.
381
00:15:39,426 --> 00:15:41,393
No, he loves that.
Hmm.
382
00:15:41,395 --> 00:15:43,428
Our record for sitting
in a room together
383
00:15:43,430 --> 00:15:46,481
and not speaking to each other
is six-and-a half hours.
384
00:15:46,483 --> 00:15:49,184
He said it was
a magical evening.
385
00:15:49,186 --> 00:15:51,136
All right, then we're
gonna have to go
386
00:15:51,138 --> 00:15:52,404
with an oldie but goodie;
387
00:15:52,406 --> 00:15:53,522
making a scene.
388
00:15:53,524 --> 00:15:55,824
I don't think I'd
be good at that.
389
00:15:55,826 --> 00:15:57,276
That's why you're
lucky to have me.
390
00:15:57,278 --> 00:15:59,194
Back in Omaha, there are
two different restaurants
391
00:15:59,196 --> 00:16:00,762
I'm not allowed into.
Both Chili's.
392
00:16:04,667 --> 00:16:06,285
Bernadette, remember,
your character's
393
00:16:06,287 --> 00:16:08,036
the healer in our group.
394
00:16:08,038 --> 00:16:10,756
You're in charge of healing
all of us, not just Howard.
395
00:16:10,758 --> 00:16:12,507
I can't help it.
396
00:16:12,509 --> 00:16:15,327
My Howie Wowie
has an owie.
397
00:16:16,262 --> 00:16:18,964
That is the most sickeningly
sweet thing
398
00:16:18,966 --> 00:16:20,799
I have ever experienced.
399
00:16:20,801 --> 00:16:26,338
And I am sipping Kool-Aid
through a Red Vine.
400
00:16:26,340 --> 00:16:29,274
Sheldon Cooper, I've got
a bone to pick with you,
401
00:16:29,276 --> 00:16:31,977
and I'm about to do it
in front of all your friends.
402
00:16:31,979 --> 00:16:35,847
Yeah, you pick that bone.
You pick that bone clean!
403
00:16:35,849 --> 00:16:37,032
I'm gonna publicly shame you,
404
00:16:37,034 --> 00:16:39,401
and then sit back as societal
pressure compels you
405
00:16:39,403 --> 00:16:40,619
to modify your behavior.
406
00:16:40,621 --> 00:16:43,188
Ooh, buuurn!
407
00:16:44,207 --> 00:16:45,991
And if you don't start
treating me better,
408
00:16:45,993 --> 00:16:47,042
I'm leaving you
409
00:16:47,044 --> 00:16:49,694
for a miniature horse breeder
named Armen.
410
00:16:50,496 --> 00:16:52,547
Armen who?
411
00:16:52,549 --> 00:16:54,216
Armen... damn it.
412
00:16:56,702 --> 00:16:59,638
Look, Sheldon, she wanted
to show you off to her family,
413
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,423
and you stood her up, okay?
414
00:17:01,425 --> 00:17:04,209
Look at this adorable,
smushy face.
415
00:17:04,211 --> 00:17:07,212
Smush, smush, smush.
416
00:17:07,214 --> 00:17:08,713
You're hurting me.
417
00:17:08,715 --> 00:17:11,650
No, Sheldon hurt you.
418
00:17:11,652 --> 00:17:13,685
Before; now it's you.
419
00:17:13,687 --> 00:17:15,520
Oh.
420
00:17:15,522 --> 00:17:18,340
I think I understand.
421
00:17:18,342 --> 00:17:19,441
You're the one person
422
00:17:19,443 --> 00:17:21,994
who can say Sheldon Cooper
is your boyfriend,
423
00:17:21,996 --> 00:17:24,780
but that rings hollow
if you can't lord him
424
00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:26,698
over others in the flesh.
425
00:17:28,167 --> 00:17:29,251
I forget what
I bring
426
00:17:29,253 --> 00:17:31,119
to the party
and what I take away
427
00:17:31,121 --> 00:17:32,921
when I leave.
428
00:17:32,923 --> 00:17:37,759
Please accept these valuable
Cooper Coupons...
429
00:17:39,429 --> 00:17:41,847
...as restitution.
430
00:17:41,849 --> 00:17:43,215
Sheldon, she doesn't
want your stupid...
431
00:17:43,217 --> 00:17:45,017
Ooh, Science Center.
Redeeming.
432
00:17:45,019 --> 00:17:47,419
Let's go.
433
00:17:48,471 --> 00:17:50,355
Well played, Amy Farrah Fowler.
434
00:17:50,357 --> 00:17:52,224
Let me get my coat.
435
00:17:52,226 --> 00:17:53,792
(whip cracks)
436
00:17:53,794 --> 00:17:55,477
Oh, grow up, Leonard.
437
00:17:55,479 --> 00:17:57,479
But e-excuse me,
438
00:17:57,481 --> 00:17:59,597
I have something to say.
439
00:18:00,616 --> 00:18:03,535
None of you may realize it,
but I was very much
440
00:18:03,537 --> 00:18:05,320
looking forward to this weekend.
441
00:18:05,322 --> 00:18:06,405
It was gonna be like
442
00:18:06,407 --> 00:18:08,907
the old days-- the four of us
hanging out
443
00:18:08,909 --> 00:18:10,625
playing video games
before you guys
444
00:18:10,627 --> 00:18:12,294
all got girlfriends.
445
00:18:12,296 --> 00:18:14,212
Do you have any idea
what it's like
446
00:18:14,214 --> 00:18:16,631
to be the only one
without a girlfriend?
447
00:18:16,633 --> 00:18:18,166
Even if I get one someday,
448
00:18:18,168 --> 00:18:20,168
I'll still be the guy
who got a girl
449
00:18:20,170 --> 00:18:22,971
after Sheldon Cooper!
450
00:18:27,226 --> 00:18:30,462
And that's how
a girl makes a scene.
451
00:18:35,184 --> 00:18:36,184
I'm sorry, sweetie.
452
00:18:36,186 --> 00:18:37,819
You're right.
You deserve your weekend.
453
00:18:37,821 --> 00:18:39,020
Come on, Amy,
let's go.
454
00:18:39,022 --> 00:18:40,822
What about the
Science Center?
455
00:18:40,824 --> 00:18:43,992
I'll let you hold my hair
while I throw up.
456
00:18:44,694 --> 00:18:46,912
Rain check.
457
00:18:47,947 --> 00:18:49,197
I'm gonna go, too.
458
00:18:49,199 --> 00:18:50,949
- I'll miss you.
- I'll miss you.
459
00:18:50,951 --> 00:18:52,868
- I'll miss you more.
- No, I'll...
460
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:55,253
Just leave!
461
00:18:58,157 --> 00:19:00,158
(sighs)
Okay, now.
462
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,043
This is the way
it's supposed to be.
463
00:19:02,045 --> 00:19:04,379
Men together,
fighting the forces of evil.
464
00:19:04,381 --> 00:19:06,515
LEONARD, SHELDON, WOLOWITZ:
Hear! Hear!
465
00:19:06,517 --> 00:19:08,600
(sighs)
466
00:19:08,602 --> 00:19:11,503
I can't believe
this is only 64 calories.
467
00:19:27,372 --> 00:19:29,047
(pounding at door)
468
00:19:29,051 --> 00:19:30,744
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard Joel Wolowitz!
469
00:19:30,745 --> 00:19:32,778
I've been worried sick
for two days,
470
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:35,314
and I know you turned
off your phone!
471
00:19:37,684 --> 00:19:39,668
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
You open up this door right now
472
00:19:39,670 --> 00:19:41,370
because I've had it
up to here!
473
00:19:41,372 --> 00:19:43,288
I have been to the morgue
and the hospital,
474
00:19:43,290 --> 00:19:44,723
and I spent the last
half hour
475
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:48,393
walking up these
ferkakta stairs!
476
00:19:51,414 --> 00:19:53,649
That's my ride; got to go.
477
00:19:55,184 --> 00:19:57,069
(whip cracks)
478
00:19:57,071 --> 00:20:00,571
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net