1
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:06,800
Howard Wolowitz.
2
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:09,000
Hey, Howard.
Dave Roeger here at NASA.
3
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,300
We need to talk
about your upcoming mission.
4
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:15,300
Yes, yes, I've been doing
my push-ups.
5
00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:18,400
I'm still stuck at nine, but...
6
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:24,400
...that's going all the way down
with no one holding me.
7
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,900
That's great, uh,
but that's not why I called.
8
00:00:26,900 --> 00:00:29,000
We've run into a bit of a snafu.
9
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:31,600
Your Soyuz capsule failed
the pressurization test,
10
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:35,100
so bottom line,
mission's been scrubbed.
11
00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:40,000
You're kidding.
So what does that mean?
12
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,900
Uh-huh.
13
00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:44,700
Uh-huh.
14
00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:46,700
Boy, I got to tell you,
15
00:00:46,700 --> 00:00:48,400
I'm really disappointed.
16
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:49,800
This was my dream
17
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,900
ever since I was a little kid.
18
00:00:52,900 --> 00:00:54,700
Okay, well, uh,
19
00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:56,700
thanks for the call.
20
00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:59,400
Yep, you, too.
21
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,100
Yes! Thank you!
22
00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:04,700
Oh! Oh...
23
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:07,000
I'm not gonna die in space!
24
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,200
I'm gonna die
the way God intended,
25
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,500
in my late 50s,
with a heart full of pastrami.
26
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,800
? Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ?
27
00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:22,700
? Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ?
28
00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:24,200
? The Earth began to cool ?
29
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,100
? The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ?
30
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:29,100
? We built the Wall ?
? We built the pyramids ?
31
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,900
? Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ?
32
00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:34,000
? That all started
with a big bang ?
33
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,000
? Bang! ?
34
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:40,000
The Big Bang Theory 5x23
The Launch Acceleration
Original Air Date on May 3, 2012
35
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:44,000
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
36
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:48,100
I'm going to need
a larger shirt.
37
00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:53,700
This one's a little tight
under the arms.
38
00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:55,200
Okay.
39
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,500
Do you think maybe it's tight
40
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,000
because you're wearing
long underwear?
41
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,200
Yes, of course
that's why it's tight.
42
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,400
All right, let me
rephrase the question.
43
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,100
Why are you wearing
long underwear?
44
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,600
You're kidding.
45
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,700
Shouldn't the question be:
why aren't you?
46
00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:14,100
No, it should be: why are you?
(sighs) Leonard,
47
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,300
these rental tuxedos have been
48
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:18,400
worn by hundreds
of sweaty strangers.
49
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,400
I don't like my own sweat
touching my skin,
50
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,600
how do you think
I feel about theirs?
51
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,300
Why don't you
slip this on?
52
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:28,400
Said the hangman
offering a noose.
53
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,400
Well, that wasn't
as entertaining
54
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,100
as when he rents bowling shoes,
55
00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:35,000
but it was right up there.
56
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,100
Well, that's it.
57
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:38,900
My orders have been rescinded.
58
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:41,300
I am officially "no go"
to space.
59
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:43,500
I'm sorry, Howard,
but I got to tell you,
60
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,500
I'm a little relieved
you're not going.
61
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:46,600
Why?
62
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,600
Come on, you were
gonna go up in a rocket
63
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,800
designed in the 1960s
by the Russians.
64
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,100
Yeah, so?
65
00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:54,100
When was the last time
you were at Best Buy
66
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:56,300
and you heard someone say, "Ooh,
check out this Blu-ray player,
67
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,700
it must be good,
it was built in Russia"?
68
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:02,800
Well, their technology
isn't that bad.
69
00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:06,200
When you come back to Earth
in a Soyuz capsule, you free-fall
70
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,200
from space
at 500 miles per hour,
71
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,200
and the only thing
that slows you down
72
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,900
is a little parachute
that pops out
73
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,700
right before you crash
into the ground.
74
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:15,100
And the whole thing
was designed
75
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:17,700
by the same brilliant minds
who were unable to capture
76
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:19,800
Rocky and Bullwinkle.
77
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,800
All right, well, whatever.
78
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,000
I wasn't worried.
79
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,200
You weren't?
80
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,800
Let me explain the difference
between you and me.
81
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,200
You watch
82
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,800
Star Trek; I live it.
83
00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:37,000
Oh, please. I don't remember
the episode of Star Trek
84
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,600
where the guy
never goes to space
85
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,300
and brags about it
in a tuxedo store.
86
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:42,700
Make all the jokes you want,
87
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,800
but there's only
one of us here brave enough
88
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,200
to almost do
what I almost did.
89
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:50,300
Ah, much better.
90
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,600
You must be burning up.
91
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,100
A little. But not more
than your urethras
92
00:03:57,100 --> 00:04:00,100
will be after whatever's
in those pants swims up them.
93
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:03,900
Well...
94
00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:07,600
I cut quite the dashing,
yet hygienic figure, don't I?
95
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:11,900
I look like the Flash
about to get married.
96
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,700
Oh! A tissue! A tissue!
97
00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:17,100
Oh, good Lord!
98
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:19,300
Uh, where's he going?
99
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,800
He keeps emergency
Purell in the car.
100
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,300
Keys! Keys! Keys!
101
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,000
Hey, you.
Before I come in,
102
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,300
you should know, I have gas.
103
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:35,700
For the record,
not your worst opening line.
104
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:37,600
Check it out.
It's the gas I use
105
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,800
in my free-electron laser
to support high voltages.
106
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:43,100
But it also has an
interesting secondary use.
107
00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:46,300
Here. Breathe this in.
108
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:50,200
B-Before I do it, if you're
a cop you have tell me, right?
109
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,200
Just try it.
110
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,400
Okay.
111
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:57,200
What's it supposed to...
112
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,200
Oh, my God, that's so freaky!
113
00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:05,000
? You're a mean one ?
114
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,300
? Mr. Grinch. ?
115
00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:09,200
Okay. Me, me, me. Ready?
116
00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:13,000
Leonard, I am your father.
117
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,500
I have never been
more attracted to a woman
118
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:19,200
who sounds like a man
in my life.
119
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,000
Oh...
120
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:23,100
Mm.
121
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,400
Hey... you know
how we've been...
122
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,300
taking things slow?
Mm-hmm.
123
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:32,100
Well, I've been thinking, and...
124
00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:34,000
maybe I'm ready to...
125
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,400
take things a little... faster.
126
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,900
Oh...
127
00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:39,100
great.
Mm-hmm.
128
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:41,200
And I promise,
after waiting four months,
129
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,500
fast is what you're gonna get.
130
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,100
You know, just-just one thing.
131
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:48,900
Look, we're in a really
great place right now,
132
00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:50,200
and I don't want to do anything
133
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:51,900
that will make stuff
all weird again.
134
00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:53,800
So we won't let it get weird.
135
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,200
Okay. Oh, and just a heads-up...
136
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,400
mm, since the last time
you saw me naked,
137
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,000
I got a Cookie Monster tattoo.
138
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,700
The acceptable responses
when you see it
139
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:03,400
are "awesome" or nothing.
140
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,500
What about...
141
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,400
Cookies!
142
00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:14,500
Amy?
143
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:15,800
Amy?
144
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,100
Amy?
145
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,300
7:00, right on time.
146
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:23,600
It's not an accident.
147
00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:26,300
I waited outside your door
for 20 minutes.
148
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,500
Well, dinner's almost ready.
149
00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:29,900
I must say,
150
00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:31,400
I was surprised
you chose to spend
151
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,000
our date night
in your apartment.
152
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,300
As I mentioned,
153
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:38,600
the Pasadena City Council is
debating longer crosswalk times,
154
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,900
and later, the LEGO store is
having a midnight madness sale.
155
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,300
You ask anyone,
156
00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:44,700
that's a hot date.
157
00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:47,700
Tempting choices,
but I have something special
158
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,000
planned for tonight.
159
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,600
What can be more special
than having
160
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,900
an adequate amount of time
to cross the street
161
00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:56,500
on your way to buy
a tiny LEGO Indiana Jones?
162
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,900
With our friends moving forward
in their relationships,
163
00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:02,100
I've decided that we should
make progress in ours as well.
164
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,200
Oh, dear Lord.
165
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,900
Two years ago,
we didn't even know each other,
166
00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:10,200
and now I'm
in your apartment after dark.
167
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,000
How much faster
can this thing go?
168
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,800
I had a feeling
you'd be reluctant,
169
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,700
which is why
I'm going to dip
170
00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,500
into my neurobiological
bag of tricks.
171
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:23,000
Oh, you brain monkeys
kill me. Dip away.
172
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:25,200
I have devised
173
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,000
an experiment that
I believe will increase
174
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,600
your feelings for me
in an accelerated time frame.
175
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,800
And how do you propose
to do that?
176
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,100
Uh, hope you're not thinking
177
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:35,700
about some sort
of LSD thought control.
178
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,000
Because there's
179
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,200
only one mind-expanding drug
that this man enjoys,
180
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,200
and that's called school.
181
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,800
Human beings form emotional
attachments as they grow up.
182
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,900
In your case, to your mother,
superheroes, et cetera.
183
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,000
I'm going to attempt
184
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,400
an experiment that will
get you to transfer
185
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,000
those feelings to me.
186
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,200
Well,
187
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,800
seems what's on the menu tonight
188
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:59,000
is malarkey with
a big side of poppycock.
189
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,500
We'll see.
190
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:04,000
Let's start with a little
romantic dinner music, shall we?
191
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,500
Super Mario Bros. theme?
192
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:10,700
Yes.
193
00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:13,400
I see what you're doing.
194
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,000
You're attempting
to build on the work
195
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,200
of Ebbinghaus by triggering
196
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,200
an involuntary memory
of me playing that game--
197
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:22,700
admittedly the happiest
600 hours of my childhood...
198
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:24,800
...but it won't work.
199
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,700
Fine. There's no reason
we still can't have
200
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:28,700
a lovely dinner.
Why don't you have a seat.
201
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,500
Boink! Boink!
202
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,000
May I offer you
something to drink?
203
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,600
You know I don't drink.
204
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,900
Not even...
205
00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:41,100
strawberry Quik?
206
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:45,400
I love strawberry Quik.
207
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,600
It's my favorite
pink fluid,
208
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,600
narrowly beating out
Pepto-Bismol.
209
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,800
Oh, I know.
210
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,600
I think it will go nicely
211
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,400
with what I have prepared...
212
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:58,900
for dinner.
213
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:02,900
Spaghetti with little pieces
of hot dog cut up in it!
214
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:04,100
Just like your mommy
used to make.
215
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:05,100
Oh...
216
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:07,800
yummy, yummy!
217
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,800
We should do this more often.
218
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:19,500
Uh-oh.
219
00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:22,900
I'm sorry. I did,
220
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:24,400
I crossed a line.
I didn't mean to!
221
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,300
Who says something
like that right in the middle
222
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:27,700
of sex?!
I don't know,
223
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:29,700
it just came out.
People say weird things
224
00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:31,100
during sex all the time.
225
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:33,400
Okay, well, they
sure as hell don't say that.
226
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,100
It was the heat of the moment.
No,
227
00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:37,700
the heat of the moment is,
"Ooh, yeah, just like that,"
228
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:40,500
not "will you marry me?"
229
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:42,700
I'm sorry.
230
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:44,400
Just-just give me
another chance.
231
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,300
Why, so you can crawl
under the covers and go,
232
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:47,800
"Hey, baby,
want to go look for houses
233
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,500
in neighborhoods
with good schools?"
234
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:52,800
Again, I'm sorry.
235
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,000
You know, with Howard
and Bernadette getting married,
236
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,400
I got caught up
in a little wedding fever.
237
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,000
I take it back.
You can't
238
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,300
take something like that back.
239
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,800
I mean, what are we
even supposed to do now?
240
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,500
Okay, at some point,
we'll look back
241
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:08,600
and this is going
to be a funny story.
242
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,100
Why don't we just
start doing that now?
243
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:12,900
You're kidding.
No.
244
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:16,100
Hey, do you remember...
245
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,900
...that time when I proposed
246
00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:22,700
to you in bed?
247
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:26,200
And you were all, like,
"What are you doing?"
248
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,400
That was so funny.
249
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:33,400
So funny.
250
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,700
It's not funny.
251
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,700
Give it a minute.
252
00:10:38,500 --> 00:10:41,400
Is that a little smile
I see there?
253
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,900
I should go.
254
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:47,800
Hey, I was thinking.
255
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,800
For our first dance
at the wedding,
256
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,700
what if we learn the final number
from Dirty Dancing?
257
00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:56,100
You're kidding.
No,
258
00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:57,500
come on.
259
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:58,900
How cool would that be?
260
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:02,800
Me running
into your arms...
261
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,100
you lifting me up
into the air.
262
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,900
Oh, you're in a good mood.
263
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:10,300
Yeah, well, why
wouldn't I be?
264
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:12,700
You know, I'm marrying
the girl of my dreams,
265
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:14,500
and I finally got
my mother to agree
266
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,900
not to come on
our honeymoon.
267
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:20,000
Oh, hang on.
268
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,000
Oh, it's NASA.
269
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:24,500
Wolowitz.
270
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,500
Oh! Hi, Dave.
What's up?
271
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,500
No kidding. Really?
272
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:32,700
Well,
273
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:36,300
that's... great news.
274
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:39,200
Great, great news.
275
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,600
All right, I'll watch my e-mail
276
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,000
for the details.
277
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,100
Okay, talk soon.
278
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,700
What's so great?
279
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:52,000
It looks like I'm going
into space after all.
280
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,800
Oh, Howie,
that's wonderful!
281
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,000
Uh-huh, wonderful.
282
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:02,400
Yay...
283
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,800
What happened?
I thought
284
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,000
they canceled your mission.
Th-They did.
285
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,200
But NASA really wants
286
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,500
my telescope up
on the space station,
287
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:19,400
so they're putting me
on an earlier launch.
288
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,400
When?
A...
289
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,700
week from Friday.
290
00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:26,600
What? We're getting
married that Sunday.
291
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:28,800
You're right!
292
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,500
I-I can't go to space.
293
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,000
I have to get married,
and no one can say
294
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,300
that's not a good reason.
I'll call him back.
295
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,000
Wait. I don't want to be
296
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,800
the one who stands
in your way.
297
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,600
Well, too bad, you already did.
It's a done deal.
298
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:44,800
Oh, well.
But I forgive you.
299
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,100
No. That's not how I want
to start our marriage,
300
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,500
killing your dream?
301
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,400
We'll have the wedding
when you get back.
302
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:51,900
But wh-what about
303
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:54,900
all the plans
and the guests?
304
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:56,000
We'll call them.
305
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:58,000
Although my dad's
gonna go a little nutso
306
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,100
over losing his deposits.
307
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:04,000
You're right, he is!
308
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,800
Your dad's gonna be furious.
309
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,600
There's no way he's
gonna let us postpone this wedding.
310
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,000
Well, we tried.
311
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:12,700
I'll talk to him.
312
00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:15,300
He won't say no to his little girl.
No!
313
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:18,100
I-I should talk to him,
314
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,600
man to man.
315
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,400
But, Howie, my dad
can be a bully.
316
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,400
He's gonna make you cancel
your space flight.
317
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:24,700
We can only hope...
318
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,900
that he doesn't.
319
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:32,300
Bishop to queen four,
320
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:34,000
level two.
321
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,900
Check.
322
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,600
Sheldon...
323
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,200
knight takes bishop.
324
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,100
You all right?
325
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:43,300
I'm fine.
326
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:45,400
Are you?
327
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,600
You left your queen
exposed from above,
328
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,400
you trapped your
knight in the corner,
329
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,900
and you keep sighing
and saying, "Why me?"
330
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,000
Very well.
331
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,100
Can I ask you
a question about women?
332
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,400
We got you that book last year.
333
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:04,300
Wasn't everything in there?
334
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:08,300
No, I'm having
a relationship problem with Amy.
335
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:09,300
And by the way,
336
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:11,600
that book gave me nightmares.
337
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,400
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
338
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,100
I screwed things up
pretty good with Penny.
339
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,600
Look at us,
Leonard...
340
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,400
engaging in the social
convention of men bellyaching
341
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,600
about their ol' ladies.
342
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,700
I guess we are.
343
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,500
So, what's going on?
344
00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:31,200
Believe it or not,
345
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,600
Amy has embarked on a campaign
346
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:39,500
to increase my feelings
for her by making me happy.
347
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:43,600
I'm sorry, that must be very
difficult for you.
348
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,600
It's awful.
349
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,600
This morning,
she arranged for me
350
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,200
to be an Amtrak junior conductor
for the day.
351
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,300
It-It's usually
352
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:52,500
only open to children.
353
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,600
She got them
to make an exception.
354
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,000
Shame on her.
355
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,900
They let me
blow the whistle, Leonard.
356
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,000
She's good.
357
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,000
I know.
358
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,700
And it gets worse.
359
00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:08,600
Her efforts are causing me
360
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,900
to have affectionate
feelings for her
361
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:14,000
at inappropriate times.
362
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,800
You mean, like in bed
or in the shower?
363
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,200
No!
364
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,400
Would you please stop
referencing that infernal book?
365
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,500
For example, this morning,
366
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:28,800
I was calculating
the random motion
367
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,800
of virtual particles
in a vacuum,
368
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,600
when suddenly
the particles morphed
369
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:37,100
into an image
of Amy's dandruff...
370
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,000
...gently cascading down
371
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,800
onto her pale,
slightly hunched shoulders.
372
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,400
What has that vixen
done to me, Leonard?
373
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,100
And how do I make it stop?
374
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:54,500
Well, if you had
a physical relationship,
375
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,400
I'd say propose during sex.
376
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,700
Turns out that's
a real mood killer.
377
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:01,500
I assume we're talking
about you now?
378
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:02,400
Yeah.
379
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:03,600
So, that's
how this works?
380
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,900
I complain,
and then you complain,
381
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:08,600
and no one offers any solutions?
382
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,400
Pretty much.
383
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,600
Well, no wonder
the women are winning.
384
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,600
Mr. Rostenkowski,
are you busy?
385
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:23,300
Oh, just looking at some
old pictures. Come on in.
386
00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:24,800
Family pictures,
or...?
387
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,100
H-Holy crap, that's
a dead person.
388
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:31,300
Last murder case
before I retired.
389
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:33,300
How many bodies
do you see there?
390
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,500
Careful,
391
00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,800
it's a trick question.
392
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,000
I'm not sure.
393
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,400
Nah, you'll never get it.
394
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,200
It's a fraction.
395
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,400
How about that.
396
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:46,500
Anyway,
397
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,000
sir, I need to talk
to you about something.
398
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,800
Walnut?
399
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,500
No, thank you.
400
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:54,900
I'm allergic.
401
00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:56,600
Oh, sure.
402
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,900
My partner used to have that.
403
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:00,600
He's dead now.
404
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,600
From nuts?
405
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,300
Nah, his wife shot him.
406
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:10,100
But she was nuts,
so in a way...
407
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,300
Nice story.
408
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:14,000
Anyway,
409
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,400
the reason I wanted
to talk to you is
410
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,100
NASA has moved up
my launch
411
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:21,400
to the International
Space Station.
412
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,200
Yeah, so?
So...
413
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,700
the date is going
to conflict
414
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:27,800
with me marrying
your daughter.
415
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,000
Now, I know what you're
going to say-- I made
416
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,000
a commitment to Bernadette
and to your family
417
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000
and I've got a hell
of a lot of nerve
418
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,200
coming in here and demanding
that we postpone this thing.
419
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,800
Well, message heard
and understood.
420
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,500
Mission canceled.
Thank you.
421
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,100
Where are you going?
422
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:43,900
I'm sorry.
423
00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:46,400
May I be excused?
424
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,900
No, you may not.
425
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,300
Let me tell you something.
426
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:51,200
When I first met you...
427
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,600
You just gonna stand there?
428
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:56,500
I'm sorry, I didn't know,
is this going to...
429
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:57,600
Well, I should sit...
430
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,300
May I be seat...
Well, I'll just sit.
431
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:03,800
When I first met you,
432
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,400
I didn't like you.
433
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,800
I'm aware of that, sir.
434
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,800
But then you and I
had some time together.
435
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:12,800
Uh-huh.
436
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,700
It did not get better.
437
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:18,000
Right, right.
438
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,100
That silly Beatle haircut
439
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,300
and...
440
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,400
you riding around
on a red Vespa,
441
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:26,300
and you're still living
at home with your mother.
442
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:29,300
To be honest, I thought
Bernadette chose you
443
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:31,100
to punish me.
444
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,500
But then I heard about
your astronaut thing,
445
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,100
and I realized
446
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:39,300
I judged you too fast.
447
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:40,700
Maybe you are
448
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:42,600
the right guy
for my little girl.
449
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,900
Oh, I am.
And just so you know,
450
00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:48,100
I'd still be an astronaut,
even if I didn't go to space.
451
00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:52,100
I've got an I.D. card
and a NASA golf shirt.
452
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:53,600
No, no, you got to go.
453
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,800
You can't turn down
an opportunity like this.
454
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,200
B-But what about the wedding
455
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,900
and all the money you put
down for the reception?
456
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:02,800
You let me worry about that.
457
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,600
You go up to that
space station,
458
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,800
and you make me proud.
459
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:12,500
Um, okay.
460
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,600
You got a problem with that?
461
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:18,100
All right, look, I'm
gonna level with you.
462
00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:21,400
I'm terrified about
going into space.
463
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:25,000
What if I don't
make it back?
464
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,600
It's gonna be okay, son.
465
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,000
You really think so?
466
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,900
Of course.
467
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:35,500
A pretty girl like Bernadette...
468
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:38,000
she'll find a new guy.
469
00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:51,100
Hey.
470
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,400
Hey.
471
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,600
Off to work?
472
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:54,700
Yeah.
473
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,000
Have a nice night.
474
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,700
Okay, you, too.
475
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,100
Penny, just, wait.
476
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:02,000
I've been thinking
about what I said
477
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,000
when we were in bed
the other night.
478
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,100
Yeah, I've been
thinking about it, too.
479
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:08,600
I noticed you never answered me.
480
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,400
You're right.
481
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,400
No.
482
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,700
Uh, follow-up.
Are we still dating?
483
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:24,100
Yep.
484
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:25,800
Is it still weird
'cause I proposed?
485
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,500
Yep.
486
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,500
I have a couple more
quick questions.
487
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:30,700
Do you want to call me
from the car?
488
00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:32,700
No!
489
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:36,700
Think I played that
pretty well.
490
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,600
Hello, Leonard.
491
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:52,800
What are you doing?
492
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,200
We're playing doctor.
493
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:59,000
Star Trek style.
494
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:03,300
I'm in hell, Leonard.
495
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:04,800
Don't stop.
496
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:08,900
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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