1 00:00:03,022 --> 00:00:04,863 Should you really be sitting in Sheldon's spot? 2 00:00:06,259 --> 00:00:08,193 He's in Texas. He'll never know. 3 00:00:08,195 --> 00:00:09,961 I wouldn't be so sure about that. 4 00:00:09,963 --> 00:00:11,563 Yeah, he has a very sensitive butt. 5 00:00:14,133 --> 00:00:15,433 Well, it's true. 6 00:00:15,435 --> 00:00:18,837 Once I saw him sit on a bunch of loose change and add it up. 7 00:00:20,306 --> 00:00:21,439 Have you heard from Howard? 8 00:00:21,441 --> 00:00:23,675 I did. His talk at NASA went great. 9 00:00:23,677 --> 00:00:24,909 Sheldon didn't heckle him? 10 00:00:24,911 --> 00:00:26,578 No, in fact, he was so well-behaved, 11 00:00:26,580 --> 00:00:28,279 Howie bought him a Buzz Aldrin bobble head 12 00:00:28,281 --> 00:00:29,581 and astronaut ice cream. 13 00:00:30,817 --> 00:00:32,183 Hey, guys. 14 00:00:32,185 --> 00:00:33,485 Oh, hi. - Hi, Stuart. Hey, Stuart! 15 00:00:33,487 --> 00:00:35,353 How's it going? Good. 16 00:00:35,355 --> 00:00:37,989 Sheldon's out of town, so we can do whatever we want. 17 00:00:37,991 --> 00:00:40,125 We even ordered from the Thai place he doesn't like. 18 00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,259 Oh, how is it? 19 00:00:41,261 --> 00:00:43,294 Disgusting. Do not tell him. 20 00:00:44,296 --> 00:00:45,764 What do you guys want to do tonight? 21 00:00:45,766 --> 00:00:46,831 I don't know. 22 00:00:46,833 --> 00:00:48,400 Well, I told Howie if I wasn't busy, 23 00:00:48,402 --> 00:00:50,001 I'd spend the night at his mom's. 24 00:00:50,003 --> 00:00:52,270 So for God's sake, think of something. 25 00:00:54,841 --> 00:00:56,141 Stuart? 26 00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:57,175 Are you okay? 27 00:00:57,177 --> 00:00:59,544 No, I don't feel so... 28 00:00:59,546 --> 00:01:01,212 Oh, Stuart? Stuart? 29 00:01:01,214 --> 00:01:03,114 Oh, my God, you guys need to do something! 30 00:01:03,116 --> 00:01:05,183 Stuart? Calling 911. 31 00:01:05,185 --> 00:01:07,318 Well, it's too late. What do you mean it's too late? 32 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:10,555 He's been murdered by someone in this room. 33 00:01:12,092 --> 00:01:14,459 Oh, my God. Oh, come on! 34 00:01:14,461 --> 00:01:15,994 Welcome to another classic 35 00:01:15,996 --> 00:01:19,831 Koothrappali murder mystery dinner. 36 00:01:19,833 --> 00:01:20,899 I'm leaving. 37 00:01:20,901 --> 00:01:23,301 You can't leave. 38 00:01:23,303 --> 00:01:24,969 You're a suspect in the mysterious murder 39 00:01:24,971 --> 00:01:27,005 of Stuart Bloom. 40 00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:31,576 I didn't know his last name was Bloom. 41 00:01:31,578 --> 00:01:33,945 Yeah, it's Bloom. 42 00:01:33,947 --> 00:01:35,180 Are you really gonna lie on the floor 43 00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:36,548 and pretend to be dead all night? 44 00:01:36,550 --> 00:01:38,750 What do you think I was gonna do at home? 45 00:01:40,119 --> 00:01:43,755 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 46 00:01:43,757 --> 00:01:47,092 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 47 00:01:47,094 --> 00:01:48,726 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 48 00:01:48,728 --> 00:01:51,262 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 49 00:01:51,264 --> 00:01:53,932 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 50 00:01:53,934 --> 00:01:56,601 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 51 00:01:56,603 --> 00:01:58,503 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 52 00:01:58,505 --> 00:02:00,472 ♪ Bang! ♪ 53 00:02:00,565 --> 00:02:04,565 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x18 ♪ The Mommy Observation Original Air Date on March 13, 2014 54 00:02:09,617 --> 00:02:11,885 Are you gonna make us pretend to be a bunch of lame characters 55 00:02:11,887 --> 00:02:13,587 with silly accents? 56 00:02:13,589 --> 00:02:16,556 "Lame characters with silly ac..." 57 00:02:16,558 --> 00:02:19,259 What kind of actress are you? 58 00:02:21,362 --> 00:02:22,629 You're right, I'm sorry. 59 00:02:22,631 --> 00:02:25,132 It... sounds like fun. Thank you. 60 00:02:25,134 --> 00:02:26,867 That kind of actress. This sucks! 61 00:02:28,770 --> 00:02:29,937 Come on, guys. 62 00:02:29,939 --> 00:02:31,104 Raj put a lot of effort into this. 63 00:02:31,106 --> 00:02:32,139 And that's great. 64 00:02:32,141 --> 00:02:35,442 It's not sad, it's great. 65 00:02:35,444 --> 00:02:37,377 I think it might be fun to be someone else tonight. 66 00:02:37,379 --> 00:02:39,012 Actually, you're all just gonna be yourselves. 67 00:02:39,014 --> 00:02:40,814 Oh... ugh. 68 00:02:42,183 --> 00:02:43,617 All right, if I'm doing this, 69 00:02:43,619 --> 00:02:45,552 I'm playing to win, so just to be clear: 70 00:02:45,554 --> 00:02:47,955 If we're ourselves, that means one of us killed Stuart? 71 00:02:47,957 --> 00:02:49,056 Very good, Bernadette. 72 00:02:49,058 --> 00:02:51,591 You are a regular Byomkesh Bakshi. 73 00:02:51,593 --> 00:02:54,795 What is that, like, the Indian Sherlock Holmes? 74 00:02:54,797 --> 00:02:58,699 Or is Sherlock Holmes the English Byomkesh Bakshi? 75 00:02:59,968 --> 00:03:02,002 According to Wikipedia, Sherlock Holmes came first. 76 00:03:02,004 --> 00:03:04,871 Great, everyone's a Byomkesh Bakshi. 77 00:03:04,873 --> 00:03:06,907 Now... here are 78 00:03:06,909 --> 00:03:09,309 some secret facts 79 00:03:09,311 --> 00:03:10,644 about each of you, 80 00:03:10,646 --> 00:03:13,580 including whether you are the murderer. 81 00:03:13,582 --> 00:03:14,948 Throughout the game, feel free 82 00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:17,384 to ask each other questions to uncover clues. 83 00:03:17,386 --> 00:03:18,919 Got it. Hey... 84 00:03:18,921 --> 00:03:21,221 who's the murderer? 85 00:03:22,490 --> 00:03:25,225 Any question but that. 86 00:03:25,227 --> 00:03:27,227 Sorry. Hey... 87 00:03:27,229 --> 00:03:30,063 who's not the murderer? 88 00:03:31,199 --> 00:03:34,735 Bernadette, can you not stand so close to me? 89 00:03:34,737 --> 00:03:35,736 What do you care? You're dead. 90 00:03:35,738 --> 00:03:36,937 Suit yourself. 91 00:03:36,939 --> 00:03:39,639 But I can kind of... see up your skirt. 92 00:03:48,149 --> 00:03:50,550 Thank you for my bobble head. 93 00:03:50,552 --> 00:03:53,787 Thank you for not making fun of me during my speech. 94 00:03:53,789 --> 00:03:55,956 It wasn't easy. Was it Buzz? 95 00:03:59,327 --> 00:04:01,728 We can't show up to your mom's empty-handed. 96 00:04:01,730 --> 00:04:03,363 We should bring something. 97 00:04:03,365 --> 00:04:04,931 I already am. 98 00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:06,867 I'm bringing the gift of knowledge. 99 00:04:06,869 --> 00:04:08,735 Oh, boy. 100 00:04:08,737 --> 00:04:10,904 Despite what her Bible says, 101 00:04:10,906 --> 00:04:12,839 recent archeological studies indicate 102 00:04:12,841 --> 00:04:15,709 that although camels are referenced in the Old Testament, 103 00:04:15,711 --> 00:04:17,577 they didn't exist in the Middle East 104 00:04:17,579 --> 00:04:19,980 until hundreds of years later. 105 00:04:19,982 --> 00:04:22,783 I was gonna say we pick up a cake or a pie. 106 00:04:22,785 --> 00:04:25,352 But an insult to her faith is always thoughtful. 107 00:04:28,890 --> 00:04:30,557 So, what happens next? 108 00:04:30,559 --> 00:04:32,125 I can't tell you that. 109 00:04:32,127 --> 00:04:33,460 But perhaps the killer dropped 110 00:04:33,462 --> 00:04:35,128 a fun and imaginative clue 111 00:04:35,130 --> 00:04:36,830 somewhere in the apartment. 112 00:04:36,832 --> 00:04:37,964 Ooh, I'm gonna check the fridge, 113 00:04:37,966 --> 00:04:40,801 and see if there are any clues inside a beer. 114 00:04:41,969 --> 00:04:43,437 Hey, I-I found something. 115 00:04:43,439 --> 00:04:45,372 It looks like a little man with a briefcase. 116 00:04:45,374 --> 00:04:47,541 Oh, no, no. That's Clarence Darrow. 117 00:04:47,543 --> 00:04:50,944 It's from a game Sheldon made up called Chutes and Lawyers. 118 00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:54,581 You slide down a chute and then work your way back up 119 00:04:54,583 --> 00:04:56,783 through the appellate system. 120 00:04:58,219 --> 00:05:01,822 Well, unlike that, my games are much more fun. 121 00:05:01,824 --> 00:05:02,889 Okay, can I ask you something? 122 00:05:02,891 --> 00:05:04,291 Why do you like making us do this stuff? 123 00:05:04,293 --> 00:05:06,626 Well, I guess it goes back to 124 00:05:06,628 --> 00:05:08,995 when I was a fat kid in India, and didn't have any friends. 125 00:05:08,997 --> 00:05:10,297 I didn't know you were fat. 126 00:05:10,299 --> 00:05:11,631 Yeah, I was... 127 00:05:11,633 --> 00:05:14,401 I was 200 pounds by the time I was in middle school. 128 00:05:14,403 --> 00:05:16,303 Kids were mean. 129 00:05:16,305 --> 00:05:17,504 Cows may be sacred there, 130 00:05:17,506 --> 00:05:19,706 but it doesn't help if you look like one. 131 00:05:21,542 --> 00:05:22,742 Anyway, I was pretty lonely, 132 00:05:22,744 --> 00:05:24,611 so I had to make up my own stories and games, 133 00:05:24,613 --> 00:05:25,912 and I promised myself 134 00:05:25,914 --> 00:05:28,081 if I ever made any friends that... 135 00:05:28,083 --> 00:05:30,517 that I would play those games with them. 136 00:05:30,519 --> 00:05:32,519 That is so sweet. 137 00:05:32,521 --> 00:05:34,287 I've seen old pictures of you. 138 00:05:34,289 --> 00:05:36,056 You were never a fat kid. 139 00:05:36,058 --> 00:05:37,824 No, I was svelte as a gazelle. 140 00:05:39,527 --> 00:05:42,429 A gazelle blessed with a flair for storytelling. 141 00:05:46,134 --> 00:05:48,869 Hey, what about this? It looks like a receipt. 142 00:05:48,871 --> 00:05:49,803 What's it for? 143 00:05:49,805 --> 00:05:50,904 For a cup of coffee. 144 00:05:50,906 --> 00:05:52,906 But it's dated 20 years from now. 145 00:05:52,908 --> 00:05:54,341 From the future?! 146 00:05:54,343 --> 00:05:56,510 How fun and imaginative. 147 00:05:57,912 --> 00:06:00,447 So one of us came back from the future 148 00:06:00,449 --> 00:06:02,215 to murder Stuart? Correct. 149 00:06:02,217 --> 00:06:04,117 Does the gazelle with a flair for storytelling 150 00:06:04,119 --> 00:06:06,653 know he's just ripping off Terminator? 151 00:06:06,655 --> 00:06:09,122 Does the smart-ass know that Terminator was actually 152 00:06:09,124 --> 00:06:10,857 ripped off from an Outer Limits script called 153 00:06:10,859 --> 00:06:13,026 Demon With a Glass Hand, by Harlan Ellison? 154 00:06:13,028 --> 00:06:16,329 Oh, does the gazelle know that according to Harlan Ellison, 155 00:06:16,331 --> 00:06:18,732 it was not ripped off from Demon With a Glass Hand, 156 00:06:18,734 --> 00:06:21,334 but was ripped off from another Outer Limits script 157 00:06:21,336 --> 00:06:22,936 he wrote called The Soldier? 158 00:06:22,938 --> 00:06:25,172 I'm gonna need another clue. 159 00:06:28,609 --> 00:06:30,143 Okay... 160 00:06:30,145 --> 00:06:32,112 give me the flowers and pie. 161 00:06:32,114 --> 00:06:34,214 But if we show up and you're holding them, 162 00:06:34,216 --> 00:06:36,149 she'll think they're only from you. 163 00:06:36,151 --> 00:06:37,551 They are only from me. 164 00:06:37,553 --> 00:06:40,520 You said the gift of you was enough. 165 00:06:40,522 --> 00:06:42,989 Yes... but now 166 00:06:42,991 --> 00:06:44,724 that I've seen what the gift of me 167 00:06:44,726 --> 00:06:46,126 with flowers and pie looks like, 168 00:06:46,128 --> 00:06:47,661 there's no going back. 169 00:06:49,430 --> 00:06:52,999 Boy, I can't wait to see the look on her face... 170 00:06:53,001 --> 00:06:54,201 We're leaving right now. 171 00:06:54,203 --> 00:06:55,368 What's wrong? Nothing. 172 00:06:55,370 --> 00:06:57,771 What? Sheldon, tell me what's going on! 173 00:06:57,773 --> 00:06:59,172 I saw my mommy with a naked man 174 00:06:59,174 --> 00:07:00,807 and she was trying to be a mommy again. 175 00:07:13,551 --> 00:07:15,452 You ready to talk about it? 176 00:07:15,454 --> 00:07:17,587 I'm not nearly drunk enough. 177 00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:23,193 Okay. 178 00:07:25,165 --> 00:07:27,133 Do you have any idea what it's like to see 179 00:07:27,135 --> 00:07:29,068 your mother ravaging someone? 180 00:07:29,070 --> 00:07:32,505 Does a brisket count? 181 00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:37,543 I'm sorry, buddy, that's rough. 182 00:07:37,545 --> 00:07:39,044 But didn't she know we were coming? 183 00:07:39,046 --> 00:07:40,045 No. 184 00:07:40,047 --> 00:07:41,914 I wanted to surprise her. 185 00:07:41,916 --> 00:07:45,017 What am I supposed to say to her after something like this? 186 00:07:45,019 --> 00:07:46,852 Well, did she see you in the window? 187 00:07:46,854 --> 00:07:47,953 No. 188 00:07:47,955 --> 00:07:49,054 Then don't say anything. 189 00:07:49,056 --> 00:07:51,257 I have to. 190 00:07:51,259 --> 00:07:54,026 How can we ever hope to have a healthy relationship 191 00:07:54,028 --> 00:07:56,428 if I don't tell her how disappointed I am, 192 00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:58,797 and that I'll never forgive her? 193 00:07:58,799 --> 00:08:01,867 Well, don't do it on the phone. 194 00:08:01,869 --> 00:08:03,369 No, I'm just going to tell her I'm coming 195 00:08:03,371 --> 00:08:06,739 so she can give that Good Time Charlie the heave-ho. 196 00:08:06,741 --> 00:08:08,507 That's some tough talk. 197 00:08:08,509 --> 00:08:10,142 I may need to cut you off. 198 00:08:11,178 --> 00:08:12,278 Yeah, maybe you better. 199 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,480 I took a pretty big sip. 200 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:20,186 Look, she's a grown woman. 201 00:08:20,188 --> 00:08:23,856 And-and your dad's been gone a long time. 202 00:08:23,858 --> 00:08:26,792 Maybe this is none of your business. 203 00:08:26,794 --> 00:08:28,761 I beg to differ. 204 00:08:28,763 --> 00:08:31,230 I used to live in those genitals. 205 00:08:32,866 --> 00:08:34,667 And if someone wants to move into my old room, 206 00:08:34,669 --> 00:08:36,101 I should at least get a vote. 207 00:08:40,707 --> 00:08:42,908 Okay, murder suspects, 208 00:08:42,910 --> 00:08:45,911 Leonard has found the time machine the killer must've used. 209 00:08:45,913 --> 00:08:47,046 You're all inside it, 210 00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:49,682 and we hurtle through the very fabric of time. 211 00:08:57,591 --> 00:09:01,093 And welcome to 20 years in the future. 212 00:09:02,829 --> 00:09:04,730 Hey, you guys just time-traveled. 213 00:09:04,732 --> 00:09:07,333 Stop looking so bored. 214 00:09:07,335 --> 00:09:09,802 Well, my beer isn't flat and my rack's not saggy. 215 00:09:09,804 --> 00:09:11,937 So far, the future's great. 216 00:09:13,106 --> 00:09:16,175 Hey, can I go to the bathroom? 217 00:09:16,177 --> 00:09:18,344 Fine, just try not to look too alive. 218 00:09:18,346 --> 00:09:19,445 That's my jam. 219 00:09:22,249 --> 00:09:25,251 So one of us went back in time to kill Stuart? 220 00:09:25,253 --> 00:09:26,352 But why? 221 00:09:26,354 --> 00:09:28,187 Perhaps this will help. 222 00:09:28,189 --> 00:09:29,288 Here are some facts 223 00:09:29,290 --> 00:09:32,925 about yourselves in the future 224 00:09:32,927 --> 00:09:35,995 that might contain a clue. 225 00:09:35,997 --> 00:09:36,996 Hey, I-I won 226 00:09:36,998 --> 00:09:38,964 the Nobel Prize in physiology. 227 00:09:38,966 --> 00:09:41,700 Then I used the money to buy Stuart's comic book store, 228 00:09:41,702 --> 00:09:45,437 and close it down so Sheldon would pay attention to me. 229 00:09:47,641 --> 00:09:50,409 Not the worst idea. 230 00:09:51,578 --> 00:09:54,146 Hey, I'm a famous actress living in London. 231 00:09:54,148 --> 00:09:56,081 Hmm! I'm a professor at Stanford. Hmm! 232 00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:57,983 So I guess you two are making it work long distance. 233 00:09:57,985 --> 00:09:59,251 Oh, no. 234 00:09:59,253 --> 00:10:01,520 In this game, as your careers both took off, 235 00:10:01,522 --> 00:10:02,354 you drifted apart. 236 00:10:02,356 --> 00:10:04,056 Kind of like how future me 237 00:10:04,058 --> 00:10:06,325 lost touch with you guys after I became boy toy 238 00:10:06,327 --> 00:10:09,962 for the wrinkled, but still flexible, Madonna. 239 00:10:11,197 --> 00:10:13,532 What does your card say, Bernadette? 240 00:10:13,534 --> 00:10:14,633 Eh, eh, eh, hang on. 241 00:10:14,635 --> 00:10:16,635 Do-do you think we'd really drift apart 242 00:10:16,637 --> 00:10:18,203 if we both became successful? 243 00:10:18,205 --> 00:10:19,672 Of course not. 244 00:10:19,674 --> 00:10:21,340 If I became a famous actress and had to move, 245 00:10:21,342 --> 00:10:22,775 you would just come with me. 246 00:10:24,110 --> 00:10:26,378 But if I get a chance to be a tenured professor, 247 00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:28,947 I might not have that much choice in where I end up. 248 00:10:28,949 --> 00:10:30,783 Yeah, but if I become a successful actress, 249 00:10:30,785 --> 00:10:32,351 we wouldn't need the money. 250 00:10:32,353 --> 00:10:35,387 Well, you don't go into science for the money. 251 00:10:35,389 --> 00:10:36,388 Speak for yourself. 252 00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:38,357 Last month, my company both invented 253 00:10:38,359 --> 00:10:41,360 and cured Restless Eye Syndrome. 254 00:10:43,697 --> 00:10:46,465 Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps. 255 00:10:48,001 --> 00:10:50,002 So, wait, if my career took me somewhere else, 256 00:10:50,004 --> 00:10:51,403 you might not go? 257 00:10:51,405 --> 00:10:52,871 Well... 258 00:10:55,842 --> 00:10:58,510 He started it. 259 00:10:58,512 --> 00:11:01,046 Okay, okay, guys-- new back stories. 260 00:11:01,048 --> 00:11:04,183 Uh, Penny and Leonard, you two lovebirds are 261 00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:06,452 super successful and living in New York. 262 00:11:06,454 --> 00:11:08,253 Uh, you're an actress, you're a professor 263 00:11:08,255 --> 00:11:09,755 and you have three beautiful kids. 264 00:11:09,757 --> 00:11:10,789 Great. 265 00:11:10,791 --> 00:11:11,924 Really? You think I'm putting 266 00:11:11,926 --> 00:11:13,425 this body through three kids? 267 00:11:15,962 --> 00:11:17,863 Okay, let's do this. 268 00:11:17,865 --> 00:11:18,897 Good luck. 269 00:11:18,899 --> 00:11:20,032 You... 270 00:11:20,034 --> 00:11:21,700 Aren't you gonna come with me? 271 00:11:21,702 --> 00:11:24,203 While you confront your mother about her sex life? 272 00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:27,773 I'd rather go back to that bar in ass-less chaps. 273 00:11:33,413 --> 00:11:35,481 Mother? 274 00:11:35,483 --> 00:11:36,882 Mother. 275 00:11:36,884 --> 00:11:38,350 Mother? 276 00:11:38,352 --> 00:11:41,253 Shelly! I'm so glad you're here! 277 00:11:41,255 --> 00:11:43,222 I saw you having naked sex. 278 00:11:46,059 --> 00:11:47,593 What are you talking about? 279 00:11:47,595 --> 00:11:49,795 Earlier, I came here to surprise you. 280 00:11:49,797 --> 00:11:52,798 I looked in the window and I saw you with a man. 281 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,634 Oh, Shelly, I'm so sorry. 282 00:11:55,636 --> 00:11:57,269 Come in. 283 00:11:59,572 --> 00:12:00,906 Um... 284 00:12:00,908 --> 00:12:03,409 Maybe we should sit down 285 00:12:03,411 --> 00:12:05,110 and talk about this. 286 00:12:05,112 --> 00:12:07,379 Can you recommend a surface 287 00:12:07,381 --> 00:12:09,548 you haven't had coitus on? 288 00:12:11,451 --> 00:12:13,952 That's not funny. 289 00:12:16,956 --> 00:12:19,558 Maybe we should sit at the table. 290 00:12:26,933 --> 00:12:29,134 Well, I'm sure that, uh, 291 00:12:29,136 --> 00:12:31,470 you... 292 00:12:31,472 --> 00:12:33,472 have a lot of questions. 293 00:12:33,474 --> 00:12:35,574 Who was he? 294 00:12:35,576 --> 00:12:36,542 His name is Ron. 295 00:12:36,544 --> 00:12:38,610 I met him at my prayer group. 296 00:12:39,612 --> 00:12:41,480 How long have you been involved with him? 297 00:12:41,482 --> 00:12:42,681 A few months. 298 00:12:42,683 --> 00:12:44,683 And of those few months, 299 00:12:44,685 --> 00:12:48,120 how long have you been a demented sex pervert? 300 00:12:51,057 --> 00:12:53,592 That is no way to speak to your mother. 301 00:12:53,594 --> 00:12:55,160 Perhaps not. 302 00:12:55,162 --> 00:12:57,996 But it is a way to speak to a woman who quoted the Bible 303 00:12:57,998 --> 00:13:00,065 to me my whole life, and then desecrates 304 00:13:00,067 --> 00:13:02,935 one of Ethan Allen's finest sofas. 305 00:13:02,937 --> 00:13:05,170 I will give you one opportunity, 306 00:13:05,172 --> 00:13:06,305 young man, to apologize. 307 00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:08,674 Or what? 308 00:13:08,676 --> 00:13:09,908 Or I will send you to your room. 309 00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:12,177 That's ridiculous. 310 00:13:12,179 --> 00:13:13,946 I am a grown man. 311 00:13:13,948 --> 00:13:15,781 I am a professional scientist. 312 00:13:15,783 --> 00:13:18,217 And I currently occupy the moral high ground. 313 00:13:18,219 --> 00:13:19,251 Go to your room. 314 00:13:20,787 --> 00:13:24,623 But I occupy the moral high ground. 315 00:13:24,625 --> 00:13:25,824 Go to your room. 316 00:13:25,826 --> 00:13:28,861 But I'm a professional scientist. 317 00:13:28,863 --> 00:13:31,630 Go... to your room! 318 00:13:36,035 --> 00:13:38,370 I'm a grown man. 319 00:13:40,807 --> 00:13:42,741 Can we please get back to the game? 320 00:13:42,743 --> 00:13:43,842 I-I-In a minute. 321 00:13:43,844 --> 00:13:45,310 I-I-I don't understand why any success 322 00:13:45,312 --> 00:13:47,312 you have in acting is more important 323 00:13:47,314 --> 00:13:49,081 than any I have in science. 324 00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:51,116 Okay, if you do something cool in science, 325 00:13:51,118 --> 00:13:52,384 you might change the world. 326 00:13:52,386 --> 00:13:53,519 If I become 327 00:13:53,521 --> 00:13:55,220 a famous actress... 328 00:13:55,222 --> 00:13:57,523 I'm not gonna tell you why movie stars are the best. 329 00:13:57,525 --> 00:13:59,157 They just are. 330 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,961 I'm surprised you guys never talked about this stuff. 331 00:14:02,963 --> 00:14:05,197 Like you and Sheldon have everything figured out? 332 00:14:05,199 --> 00:14:06,298 Actually, 333 00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:07,266 our relationship agreement 334 00:14:07,268 --> 00:14:09,468 covers a wide array of scenarios, 335 00:14:09,470 --> 00:14:12,037 including career changes, financial instability, 336 00:14:12,039 --> 00:14:14,473 intelligent dog uprising... 337 00:14:15,174 --> 00:14:16,942 FYI, we plan on selling out 338 00:14:16,944 --> 00:14:19,111 the human race hard. 339 00:14:22,048 --> 00:14:25,017 In 20 years, who knows what'll happen with any of us? 340 00:14:25,019 --> 00:14:27,486 I think you and Leonard will be together. 341 00:14:27,488 --> 00:14:29,054 You do? Yeah. 342 00:14:29,056 --> 00:14:31,223 I think you're the best couple I know. 343 00:14:31,225 --> 00:14:32,824 Aw. That's so sweet. 344 00:14:32,826 --> 00:14:35,227 What the hell?! Excuse me? 345 00:14:35,229 --> 00:14:36,194 Ah-da-da-da-da! 346 00:14:36,196 --> 00:14:38,163 Let the dead man talk. 347 00:14:39,265 --> 00:14:40,399 So, why do you think that? 348 00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:42,200 Uh, well, I feel like 349 00:14:42,202 --> 00:14:45,270 you guys make each other better. 350 00:14:45,272 --> 00:14:47,105 Penny brought Leonard out of his shell. 351 00:14:47,107 --> 00:14:48,340 And it seems like Leonard 352 00:14:48,342 --> 00:14:50,442 makes Penny think more deeply about the world. 353 00:14:50,444 --> 00:14:51,610 I don't know. 354 00:14:51,612 --> 00:14:54,680 Together, you two kind of make one awesome person. 355 00:14:54,682 --> 00:14:56,882 Aw, Stuart. 356 00:14:56,884 --> 00:14:59,418 Now I feel bad for murdering you. 357 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:02,120 Oh, come on! 358 00:15:02,122 --> 00:15:03,589 Penny did it! I win! 359 00:15:03,591 --> 00:15:06,558 Suck it, jackasses! 360 00:15:12,199 --> 00:15:14,866 Hey, can I come in? 361 00:15:14,868 --> 00:15:16,802 Apparently any man is welcome in this house. 362 00:15:16,804 --> 00:15:18,937 Why not you? 363 00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:22,374 I thought you were waiting in the car. 364 00:15:22,376 --> 00:15:24,376 That was an hour ago, Sheldon. 365 00:15:24,378 --> 00:15:26,979 A Jew sits in front of a house in Texas that long, 366 00:15:26,981 --> 00:15:29,114 "For Sale" signs start to go up. 367 00:15:31,985 --> 00:15:35,420 I take it things didn't go smoothly with your mom. 368 00:15:35,422 --> 00:15:37,789 No. 369 00:15:37,791 --> 00:15:40,926 I'm not sure how we're going to get past this. 370 00:15:40,928 --> 00:15:42,127 You know, I... 371 00:15:42,129 --> 00:15:44,796 I sort of went through something 372 00:15:44,798 --> 00:15:46,598 like this myself. 373 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,267 Howard, we've all seen your mother naked. 374 00:15:51,571 --> 00:15:53,972 That woman needs to learn how to tie a robe. 375 00:15:53,974 --> 00:15:57,542 I'm talking about when my mom started seeing someone 376 00:15:57,544 --> 00:15:59,845 a couple years after my dad left. 377 00:15:59,847 --> 00:16:02,681 I didn't know she did. 378 00:16:02,683 --> 00:16:06,251 Yeah, she was dating this guy, 379 00:16:06,253 --> 00:16:10,188 and I was kind of a jerk to her about it. 380 00:16:10,190 --> 00:16:12,457 What did you do? 381 00:16:12,459 --> 00:16:14,526 Well, let's just say it was the most vicious 382 00:16:14,528 --> 00:16:17,663 bar mitzvah speech in the history of Temple Beth El. 383 00:16:18,631 --> 00:16:21,833 Anyway, she broke up with him. 384 00:16:21,835 --> 00:16:23,802 And she's basically 385 00:16:23,804 --> 00:16:26,038 been alone ever since. 386 00:16:27,173 --> 00:16:30,676 She never said it, but I always felt 387 00:16:30,678 --> 00:16:33,879 I was the reason why. 388 00:16:33,881 --> 00:16:34,846 I'm sorry. 389 00:16:34,848 --> 00:16:36,314 Although, based on your story, 390 00:16:36,316 --> 00:16:40,252 you absolutely were the reason why. 391 00:16:41,187 --> 00:16:43,355 All I'm saying is you might not want 392 00:16:43,357 --> 00:16:46,725 to get in the way of your mom's happiness. 393 00:16:48,327 --> 00:16:50,562 You may have a point. 394 00:16:50,564 --> 00:16:53,398 I love my mother. 395 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:57,536 Even if she fornicates like a demonic weasel. 396 00:17:01,507 --> 00:17:04,509 And the healing begins. 397 00:17:08,881 --> 00:17:09,915 Hello. 398 00:17:09,917 --> 00:17:10,949 Hello. 399 00:17:10,951 --> 00:17:12,284 Are you ready to discuss 400 00:17:12,286 --> 00:17:14,019 this calmly, like adults? 401 00:17:14,021 --> 00:17:16,555 I am. 402 00:17:28,835 --> 00:17:32,037 Shelly, I'm sorry that you saw what you saw. 403 00:17:32,039 --> 00:17:34,372 I know that this is hard for you. 404 00:17:34,374 --> 00:17:36,708 I think what most upsets me about it, Mother, 405 00:17:36,710 --> 00:17:38,477 is the hypocrisy. 406 00:17:38,479 --> 00:17:40,445 Doesn't this contradict 407 00:17:40,447 --> 00:17:43,648 all the religious rules you've been espousing your whole life? 408 00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:45,150 You're right, it does, and it's something 409 00:17:45,152 --> 00:17:47,452 that I'm struggling with these days. 410 00:17:47,454 --> 00:17:49,154 Then why are you doing it? 411 00:17:49,156 --> 00:17:51,990 Because I'm not perfect, Shelly. 412 00:17:51,992 --> 00:17:54,960 And that man's booty is. 413 00:18:00,032 --> 00:18:03,869 Well, this is confusing for me. 414 00:18:03,871 --> 00:18:06,371 But I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness. 415 00:18:06,373 --> 00:18:08,340 So... 416 00:18:08,342 --> 00:18:11,009 I'll condemn you internally while maintaining 417 00:18:11,011 --> 00:18:13,945 an outward appearance of acceptance. 418 00:18:15,047 --> 00:18:18,517 That is very Christian of you. 419 00:18:20,787 --> 00:18:22,721 Mother, if you're going to conduct your life 420 00:18:22,723 --> 00:18:25,123 in this fashion, then I should let you know 421 00:18:25,125 --> 00:18:28,293 that the world has changed since you were a young woman. 422 00:18:28,295 --> 00:18:29,661 You know, it's not all sock hops, 423 00:18:29,663 --> 00:18:33,465 soda jerks and segregation anymore. 424 00:18:33,467 --> 00:18:37,035 How old do you think I am? 425 00:18:37,037 --> 00:18:40,705 My point is that you're going to need to be careful. 426 00:18:40,707 --> 00:18:42,040 You used to be protected 427 00:18:42,042 --> 00:18:44,810 by your pre-Enlightenment mythology, 428 00:18:44,812 --> 00:18:47,512 but now you're going to need a stronger friend 429 00:18:47,514 --> 00:18:50,549 named latex. 430 00:18:51,751 --> 00:18:55,754 Are you having the sex talk with me? 431 00:18:55,756 --> 00:18:57,088 Well, someone has to. 432 00:18:57,090 --> 00:18:59,624 Oh, dear Lord! Yeah, well... 433 00:18:59,626 --> 00:19:02,194 No, don't look to Him. He's mad at you right now. 434 00:19:12,161 --> 00:19:13,762 Oh, come on, don't pout. 435 00:19:13,764 --> 00:19:15,464 I'm sorry I ruined your game. 436 00:19:15,466 --> 00:19:17,632 I'm not pouting, I'm brooding. 437 00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:20,836 Which is how sexy men pout. 438 00:19:22,405 --> 00:19:24,172 It actually was kind of fun. 439 00:19:24,174 --> 00:19:25,273 You're just saying that. 440 00:19:25,275 --> 00:19:27,409 Yeah. 441 00:19:30,013 --> 00:19:31,980 I liked the time travel element. 442 00:19:31,982 --> 00:19:34,182 Thank you. I thought it was inspired. 443 00:19:34,184 --> 00:19:35,951 It was. By Terminator. 444 00:19:37,253 --> 00:19:38,653 Well, I hope 20 years from now, 445 00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:39,855 we really are all still together 446 00:19:39,857 --> 00:19:40,856 and still friends. 447 00:19:40,858 --> 00:19:42,290 Definitely. Of course. 448 00:19:42,292 --> 00:19:43,625 Well, hey, how about this? 449 00:19:43,627 --> 00:19:46,128 Whether we're friends, not friends, 450 00:19:46,130 --> 00:19:47,796 scattered around the world, no matter what, 451 00:19:47,798 --> 00:19:49,931 let's all promise to meet in front of this building 452 00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:52,234 exactly 20 years from tonight at 8:00 p.m. 453 00:19:52,236 --> 00:19:53,902 and have dinner like we always do. 454 00:19:53,904 --> 00:19:55,170 Aw! I love it. 455 00:19:55,172 --> 00:19:56,204 Okay? 456 00:19:56,206 --> 00:19:57,272 Putting it in my phone right now. 457 00:19:57,274 --> 00:19:58,473 Yeah, me, too. 458 00:19:59,776 --> 00:20:02,077 My phone doesn't have a calendar. 459 00:20:06,382 --> 00:20:08,617 It's all right, I'll just write it on my hand. 460 00:20:10,853 --> 00:20:12,954 And it's done. 461 00:20:12,956 --> 00:20:14,289 Yup, we're all in. 462 00:20:14,291 --> 00:20:16,224 All right, I'll see you guys in 20 years. 463 00:20:24,284 --> 00:20:25,985 I knew it.