1
00:00:02,106 --> 00:00:05,574
Oh, hey, we ran into your
mom at Benihana last night.
2
00:00:05,576 --> 00:00:07,275
Uh, yeah, she loves that place.
3
00:00:07,277 --> 00:00:09,177
Every time they flip
a shrimp in the air,
4
00:00:09,179 --> 00:00:11,813
she practically leaps out
of her seat to catch it.
5
00:00:12,783 --> 00:00:15,083
That's why I don't take her
to SeaWorld.
6
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:17,619
I know you-you don't
want to hear it,
7
00:00:17,621 --> 00:00:18,920
but she was there with Stuart.
8
00:00:18,922 --> 00:00:20,088
That's fine.
9
00:00:20,090 --> 00:00:21,323
I don't care.
10
00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:23,425
It doesn't bug you when
they go out on dates?
11
00:00:23,427 --> 00:00:24,693
They're not dating.
12
00:00:24,695 --> 00:00:27,529
They're just two friends
who went out to dinner.
13
00:00:27,531 --> 00:00:29,498
And then went back
to the home they share
14
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:30,565
where they probably fell asleep
15
00:00:30,567 --> 00:00:32,134
in the matching pajamas
she got them
16
00:00:32,136 --> 00:00:35,070
because they both
just love penguins.
17
00:00:36,306 --> 00:00:39,040
Hey, lots of people
wear matching pajamas
18
00:00:39,042 --> 00:00:40,008
who aren't dating.
19
00:00:40,010 --> 00:00:43,078
Like who?
Like you and your dog.
20
00:00:44,648 --> 00:00:47,282
Don't rule out the dating.
21
00:00:47,284 --> 00:00:49,918
Fine, it bothers me.
22
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,787
You happy?
23
00:00:51,789 --> 00:00:53,388
You think you've got problems.
24
00:00:53,390 --> 00:00:57,325
The gibbon is the only member
of the ape family not classified
25
00:00:57,327 --> 00:01:00,128
as a great ape.
26
00:01:00,130 --> 00:01:02,030
How is this helpful?
27
00:01:02,032 --> 00:01:04,566
All the non-human apes
are classified
28
00:01:04,568 --> 00:01:06,201
as great apes except one.
29
00:01:06,203 --> 00:01:09,437
That means taxonomists created
the entire category
30
00:01:09,439 --> 00:01:12,440
of lesser ape just
to single out the poor gibbon
31
00:01:12,442 --> 00:01:15,143
as the weird kid
on the playground.
32
00:01:15,145 --> 00:01:19,314
Now there's a hairy little
fellow with a genuine beef.
33
00:01:19,316 --> 00:01:22,284
But the gibbon doesn't know
what it's categorized as.
34
00:01:22,286 --> 00:01:23,919
It doesn't even know
it's called a gibbon.
35
00:01:23,921 --> 00:01:25,887
True.
36
00:01:25,889 --> 00:01:28,490
Sorry, kid, you've got it
worse than a gibbon.
37
00:01:30,227 --> 00:01:33,862
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
38
00:01:33,864 --> 00:01:37,199
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
39
00:01:37,201 --> 00:01:38,834
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
40
00:01:38,836 --> 00:01:41,369
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
41
00:01:41,371 --> 00:01:44,039
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
42
00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:46,708
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
43
00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:48,610
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
44
00:01:48,612 --> 00:01:49,683
♪ Bang! ♪
45
00:01:49,684 --> 00:01:53,684
♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x08 ♪
The Prom Equivalency
Original Air Date on November 6,
46
00:01:53,685 --> 00:01:59,185
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
47
00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:00,919
Hi.
48
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:01,853
Hey.
49
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,121
We brought snacks
for movie night.
50
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,422
Oh, great.
51
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,358
I don't suppose you also brought
napkins, clean bowls,
52
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,226
utensils and a roll
of toilet paper.
53
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:09,228
Right here.
54
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:11,262
Ah!
55
00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:12,664
You guys are the best.
56
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:13,732
What's with the clothes?
57
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,700
Well, with all the new stuff
I bought for work,
58
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,369
I needed to make room
in my closet.
59
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:18,970
I meant why are they folded?
60
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,239
But whatever.
61
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,775
Ooh, what's this?
62
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:26,678
That, believe it or not,
is my prom dress.
63
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,980
Wow, you still have it?
64
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,482
I just assumed
it was balled up
65
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:34,085
in the corner
of a barn somewhere.
66
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,656
What kind of teenager
did you think I was?
67
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,759
Slutty.
Easy.
68
00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:44,963
The word is "popular."
69
00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:47,966
How was your prom?
Did you go?
70
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,501
No, but I was
on clean-up crew.
71
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,169
Aw, that's sad.
72
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,804
No, it was okay.
73
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:55,340
The DJ let me dance
one slow song with my mop
74
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,742
before he shut down.
75
00:02:57,744 --> 00:03:00,045
Whenever I see
a bucket of dirty water,
76
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:03,748
I still hear "Lady in Red."
77
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,652
My prom was pretty
terrible, too.
78
00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:08,953
I was so excited
about my date,
79
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:10,722
but it turned out
he only asked me
80
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:11,790
'cause he liked my friend.
81
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,858
He spent the whole night
talking about her.
82
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:16,261
Okay, we get it, you had
a friend and a date.
83
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:18,063
Stop bragging.
84
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:19,631
Doesn't matter.
85
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:20,698
Prom is silly anyways.
86
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,367
Easy for you to say;
you probably went
87
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,802
with the captain
of the football team.
88
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,937
No.
89
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,605
I just made out
with him a little
90
00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:29,474
while his date was puking.
91
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:32,811
My date would've had
to clean that up.
92
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:35,613
Ooh, I have an idea.
93
00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:38,650
Maybe we can have,
like, a prom do-over.
94
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,585
Oh, that would be so much fun.
95
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:43,455
We could decorate the roof
and make the guys wear tuxedos.
96
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,356
Ooh, and get our hair done,
and slow-dance.
97
00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:46,624
Okay, guys, trust me,
98
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,426
as someone who's been to,
like, seven proms,
99
00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,895
it is never as good
as you want it to be.
100
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,598
You went to seven proms?
101
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:54,799
Yeah, let's see.
102
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:57,535
Uh, four "Under the Seas,"
two "Enchanted Evenings,"
103
00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:58,770
and one "Night to Remember"
104
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:02,006
that... I cannot remember
for the life of me.
105
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:05,710
Hey.
106
00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:07,412
Hey.
Hey, where's Bernadette?
107
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:10,048
She and Amy are out dress
shopping for their prom thing.
108
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,883
Oh, yeah,
I got that Evite.
109
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:13,618
Ever since I saw Pretty in Pink,
110
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,653
I've wanted to go
to an American prom.
111
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:18,323
But then I saw Carrie,
112
00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:21,059
and I did not want to go
to an American prom.
113
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,360
But then I saw
Never Been Kissed,
114
00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:23,928
and I'm back
on the prom bandwagon.
115
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:28,233
This prom thing's been
a real roller coaster.
116
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,835
Bernie's really excited.
117
00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:33,071
I-I could tell because
her voice got so high,
118
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,707
the beagle next door
started howling.
119
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:38,710
Did you go to your prom?
120
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,612
No.
121
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,181
I had a date
with a proper education.
122
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:48,620
Instead of a tuxedo,
I dressed myself in good habits.
123
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,754
Instead of spiked punch,
124
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:52,290
I enjoyed the intoxicating
flavor of knowledge.
125
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,826
Instead of
dancing in a gym,
126
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:57,395
I shook my booty
to the seductive rhythms...
127
00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:59,063
Okay, okay.
128
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:00,798
...of AP Calculus.
129
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:05,837
How come you're not shopping
with Amy and Bernadette?
130
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,640
Let me guess, you think
the whole idea is lame?
131
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,141
Well, who cares what I think?
What do you think?
132
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,143
Hmm, to be honest,
133
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:15,213
it's kind of a dream come true
to go to even a fake prom
134
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:16,814
with a woman
as beautiful as you.
135
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:19,484
Ugh, thanks a lot.
136
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,286
What?
137
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:25,423
Well, now I can't blow this
thing off without being a bitch.
138
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:27,825
That sounds like a "yes"!
139
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:34,065
Ooh, every single person
RSVP'd "yes."
140
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,833
This is so exciting!
141
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,169
Isn't this exciting?
142
00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:42,674
Yep.
143
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,176
Look, even Stuart's
bringing a date.
144
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,244
I wonder who it is.
145
00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:48,179
You know exactly
who it is.
146
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,514
He's gonna bring my mom.
147
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,049
Why did you even invite him?
148
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:53,785
Because he's our friend,
and you two need to get along.
149
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,220
And why can't
he take your mom?
150
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,989
You took her
to your prom.
151
00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:01,893
I didn't "take" her;
she was a chaperone.
152
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:05,029
I saw a picture of you two
dancing together.
153
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,164
W-What was I gonna do?
154
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,665
They were playing our song!
155
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,669
I can't take
this anymore.
156
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,341
Hello.
157
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:17,609
Stuart, we have to talk.
158
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:22,313
This thing with you and my mom,
I-I hate it.
159
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,048
It's making me crazy.
160
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,584
You and I were
friends for years,
161
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:30,088
and now you're bringing my
mother to a party I'm going to?!
162
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,556
What the hell?!
163
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,125
I'm not bringing your mother,
I have a date.
164
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,661
Oh, so now you're cheating
on my mother?
165
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:41,499
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
166
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:42,967
Wha-What are you talking about?
167
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:45,970
There's nothing weird going on
with me and your mother.
168
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:48,840
Stewie,
your bath is getting cold!
169
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,210
I got to go, bye.
170
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,614
Penny?
171
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:57,849
Penny.
172
00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,083
Penny.
173
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,451
Penny.
174
00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:02,186
Penny.
175
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:04,522
You knocked more than usual.
176
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:05,723
Next time I might be in a rush,
177
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:07,292
it's good to have
a few in the bank.
178
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:09,093
Okay, what's up?
179
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,462
I'd like to discuss this party
180
00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:12,997
that Amy and Bernadette
are throwing.
181
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:16,167
Since you and I are both
reluctant to go,
182
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:19,737
I think I've come up with a
perfect way for us to enjoy it.
183
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:21,139
Great, how?
184
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,274
We pretend we're aliens.
185
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:28,146
I'm not the best
at reading facial cues,
186
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:31,015
but I'm gonna say that you love
it and want to hear more.
187
00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:34,585
Now,
in the beloved novel
188
00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:36,487
Hitchhiker's Guide
to the Galaxy,
189
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:39,991
an alien named Ford Prefect
pretended to be human
190
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:43,227
in order to blend in so that he
could write an entry about Earth
191
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:45,396
for The Hitchhiker's Guide
to the Galaxy,
192
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,999
which is a travel book
within the actual book,
193
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,200
which is also called
194
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:52,003
The Hitchhiker's Guide
to the Galaxy.
195
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,839
Okay, just one question.
196
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:56,107
What?
197
00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:00,311
My point is,
pretending to be an alien is
198
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,680
a valuable coping mechanism
I've used many times.
199
00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:05,817
I did it the first time
I went to see you in a play.
200
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,987
You had no idea
Commander Umfrumf
201
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:12,223
of Ceti Alpha Three
was in the audience.
202
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:16,127
Oh, d-don't worry,
he gave you seven thumbs up.
203
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,930
Here's a question--
204
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:22,133
as an alien pretending to be
human, are you planning
205
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:26,938
to engage in any post-prom
mating rituals with Amy?
206
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:33,811
There are post-prom
mating rituals?
207
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,113
Not always.
208
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,281
Unless your date drives
a van with an air mattress,
209
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:39,150
then always.
210
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,188
Well, if it's part of the prom
experience, then I'm open to it.
211
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,924
You're kidding.
212
00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:49,861
I may be an alien,
but I have urges.
213
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,899
If Amy wants to copulate
by firing her eggs into space,
214
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:56,634
well, then,
I will happily catch them
215
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:59,804
with the reproductive sac
on my upper flermin.
216
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:06,310
I'm not the best
at reading facial cues,
217
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:09,113
but I can see that
you're a little turned on.
218
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,886
You know, if you're not
gonna learn how to do this,
219
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,554
they make some
pretty good clip-ons.
220
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,957
Bruce Wayne doesn't
wear a clip-on.
221
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:24,328
Bruce Wayne doesn't make
his roommate tie it for him.
222
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:27,198
His name is Alfred,
and, yes, he does.
223
00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:31,669
There, perfect.
224
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:32,937
What, are you sure?
225
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,573
It's my first prom,
I want to do it correctly.
226
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,809
I thought you were gonna
pretend to be an alien.
227
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:40,278
I was, but Penny didn't want to.
228
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,779
You didn't want to.
229
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:45,683
Bernadette, Amy, Koothrappali
and Wolowitz didn't want to.
230
00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:48,953
And even I knew it was weird
to hire somebody.
231
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,593
Was that a flask?
232
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,994
Yes.
233
00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:59,030
I've decided to embrace
all of the traditions
234
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,933
associated with prom,
including spiking the punch.
235
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,370
You're gonna put alcohol
in the punch?
236
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:09,073
Oh, no, this is
pomegranate juice.
237
00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:11,509
It's all the fun
of high school high jinks
238
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:14,779
with the cell-protecting zip
of antioxidants.
239
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,416
If you had ripped jeans
and a leather jacket,
240
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:21,252
you'd be like the toughest kid
on the Disney Channel.
241
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:25,990
So, anything else
planned for tonight?
242
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:27,658
Oh, everything.
243
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,394
Getting our picture taken,
slow-dancing,
244
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,730
being elected prom king.
245
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,801
Pointing out that
kings aren't elected.
246
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:41,706
It's gonna be off the hook.
247
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:44,275
And while you're at it,
248
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,644
I know that at this age
your hormones are raging,
249
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,613
but just because all
your friends are having sex
250
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:49,914
doesn't mean you have to.
251
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:53,784
Why would you say that?
252
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:56,087
You know, 'cause...
253
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,389
'cause a lot of people lose
their virginity on prom night.
254
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,391
Penny implied the same thing.
255
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,526
Is this true?
256
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:03,461
Just relax, it's a joke.
257
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:06,297
You don't have
hormones.
258
00:11:19,785 --> 00:11:21,733
Wow, you look amazing.
259
00:11:21,869 --> 00:11:24,436
Thank you, so do you.
260
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,700
Sheldon,
you look so handsome.
261
00:11:26,702 --> 00:11:28,969
Thank you.
262
00:11:30,172 --> 00:11:32,206
Sheldon, doesn't Amy look hot?
263
00:11:32,208 --> 00:11:35,409
That's got to put some starch
in the upper flermin.
264
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:38,445
What's that?
265
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,280
Oh, it's a scaly
genital organ
266
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:41,982
that grows between
his shoulder blades.
267
00:11:41,984 --> 00:11:45,052
Try not to touch it
when you're dancing.
268
00:11:46,021 --> 00:11:47,254
Excuse me.
269
00:11:47,256 --> 00:11:48,555
Where are you going?
270
00:11:48,557 --> 00:11:49,823
I can't do this.
271
00:11:49,825 --> 00:11:51,325
And for your information,
Leonard,
272
00:11:51,327 --> 00:11:53,193
the upper flermin doesn't grow
between my shoulder blades,
273
00:11:53,195 --> 00:11:55,496
it grows out of the belly button
on my neck.
274
00:11:59,268 --> 00:12:02,403
He's right, I was thinking
of the lower flermin.
275
00:12:04,573 --> 00:12:08,308
Ooh, I'll, uh, text Stuart,
let him know we're close.
276
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:09,910
That's a neat tattoo.
277
00:12:09,912 --> 00:12:13,313
Oh, thanks, it's Sally from
Nightmare before Christmas.
278
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:14,548
Aw, that movie's
so cute.
279
00:12:14,550 --> 00:12:16,650
Do you like her because
you both have red hair?
280
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,420
Uh, a little, but more
that she's covered in scars
281
00:12:19,422 --> 00:12:22,389
and can pull her own limbs off
and sew them back on.
282
00:12:24,193 --> 00:12:27,194
I like Cinderella.
283
00:12:28,631 --> 00:12:30,164
Did you know,
in the original book,
284
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,199
the sisters cut off
their toes with knives
285
00:12:32,201 --> 00:12:34,101
in order to fit
in the glass slipper?
286
00:12:35,371 --> 00:12:38,238
I like "Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo."
287
00:12:39,608 --> 00:12:41,675
Hey, here comes
Stuart and his date.
288
00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:42,810
Oh, she's cute.
289
00:12:43,913 --> 00:12:45,646
Oh, my God.
290
00:12:45,648 --> 00:12:46,747
What?
291
00:12:46,749 --> 00:12:47,681
That's Jeanie.
292
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:48,649
That's Jeanie?!
293
00:12:48,651 --> 00:12:50,417
Who's Jeanie?
Don't say it.
294
00:12:50,419 --> 00:12:52,586
That's Howard's cousin
that he had sex with.
295
00:12:55,925 --> 00:12:57,891
She is my second cousin.
296
00:12:57,893 --> 00:13:00,561
We were 15... I just said,
"Don't say it."
297
00:13:00,563 --> 00:13:02,229
No, it's okay.
298
00:13:02,231 --> 00:13:04,097
He told me that story
a long time ago.
299
00:13:04,099 --> 00:13:05,165
Raj!
300
00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:06,300
It was our first date,
301
00:13:06,302 --> 00:13:07,401
there was an
awkward silence.
302
00:13:07,403 --> 00:13:10,003
What was I
supposed to say?
303
00:13:15,811 --> 00:13:17,978
Oh, it's beautiful.
304
00:13:17,980 --> 00:13:20,247
Oh, the girls really
did a nice job.
305
00:13:20,249 --> 00:13:21,348
Aw...
306
00:13:21,350 --> 00:13:22,816
I know I wasn't
into this before,
307
00:13:22,818 --> 00:13:25,352
but I'm so glad I get
to take you to your first prom.
308
00:13:25,354 --> 00:13:27,354
What makes you think
I didn't go to my prom?
309
00:13:27,356 --> 00:13:29,356
I went.
Well, who'd you go with?
310
00:13:29,358 --> 00:13:33,327
I took a little lady
I like to call loneliness.
311
00:13:33,329 --> 00:13:34,495
Aw...
312
00:13:34,497 --> 00:13:35,863
Aw, it's all right.
313
00:13:35,865 --> 00:13:37,164
We ended up having a threesome
314
00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:39,132
with her friend humiliation,
so...
315
00:13:41,437 --> 00:13:43,737
Well, if I would have been
there and saw you alone,
316
00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:45,005
I would've asked you
to dance.
317
00:13:45,007 --> 00:13:46,106
No, you wouldn't have.
318
00:13:46,108 --> 00:13:47,207
Well, you don't
know that.
319
00:13:47,209 --> 00:13:48,675
It was before
my growth spurt.
320
00:13:48,677 --> 00:13:49,810
What, that already happened?
321
00:13:51,814 --> 00:13:53,780
Very funny.
322
00:13:53,782 --> 00:13:55,349
Well, you wouldn't
have asked me either.
323
00:13:55,351 --> 00:13:56,583
I would have asked you.
324
00:13:57,453 --> 00:13:58,619
In my head.
325
00:14:00,389 --> 00:14:02,789
On the way home.
326
00:14:02,791 --> 00:14:05,058
While I was having a good cry.
327
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,866
Sheldon, can I come in?
328
00:14:12,868 --> 00:14:15,202
I don't think
that's a good idea.
329
00:14:15,204 --> 00:14:16,436
Why not?
330
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:18,572
According to an online
message board,
331
00:14:18,574 --> 00:14:20,741
I may be having a panic attack.
332
00:14:20,743 --> 00:14:22,976
SoccerMom09 had
similar symptoms.
333
00:14:24,813 --> 00:14:29,116
But to be fair, the twins were
a real handful that day.
334
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,517
You're making me worry.
335
00:14:30,519 --> 00:14:31,652
What's going on?
336
00:14:31,654 --> 00:14:35,556
What's going on is we're
about to go to a prom.
337
00:14:35,558 --> 00:14:36,690
And there's
a great deal of pressure
338
00:14:36,692 --> 00:14:38,659
on young couples
like us to engage in
339
00:14:38,661 --> 00:14:42,996
what Mr. Bob Eubanks
called making whoopee.
340
00:14:42,998 --> 00:14:44,631
What pressure?
341
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:46,433
All I said was
you look handsome.
342
00:14:46,435 --> 00:14:49,169
Can you please
open the door?
343
00:14:49,171 --> 00:14:51,004
It's not just that.
344
00:14:51,006 --> 00:14:53,574
Leonard and Penny also
made comments about it.
345
00:14:53,576 --> 00:14:55,208
And I'm not blind.
346
00:14:55,210 --> 00:14:57,744
Even I looked twice
when I saw my posterior
347
00:14:57,746 --> 00:14:59,780
in these tuxedo pants.
348
00:15:01,951 --> 00:15:04,551
So, I met Jeanie
at your Aunt Gladys'.
349
00:15:04,553 --> 00:15:06,053
She passed me
the Manischewitz,
350
00:15:06,055 --> 00:15:07,754
I took one look
at this punim,
351
00:15:07,756 --> 00:15:10,924
and I almost plotzed
on the kugel.
352
00:15:12,728 --> 00:15:15,295
Is this what I sound like
when I talk about India?
353
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,200
So, my mother's okay
with this?
354
00:15:20,202 --> 00:15:22,669
Why would your mother have
a problem with me and Stuart?
355
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:25,772
'Cause they have a weird,
inappropriate relationship.
356
00:15:25,774 --> 00:15:29,209
Weirder than what you and I
did in my dad's Corolla?
357
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,680
This is so messed up.
358
00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:36,783
I know, I'm having
the best time.
359
00:15:36,785 --> 00:15:39,620
Why would you even come to this?
360
00:15:39,622 --> 00:15:41,121
Didn't you know I'd be here?
361
00:15:41,123 --> 00:15:43,090
It was a long
time ago, Howard.
362
00:15:43,092 --> 00:15:45,258
And you're only second
cousins, who cares?
363
00:15:45,260 --> 00:15:47,728
So, you knew and you
brought her anyway?
364
00:15:47,730 --> 00:15:50,731
Oh, so she's good enough
for Howard, but not for me?!
365
00:15:50,733 --> 00:15:51,698
Yeah.
366
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:52,699
Yeah, go have weird
relationships
367
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:53,800
with your own
mother and cousin.
368
00:15:53,802 --> 00:15:54,802
This is his turf.
369
00:15:54,803 --> 00:15:56,003
Yeah.
370
00:15:59,475 --> 00:16:02,609
Well, I might not have
asked you to dance then,
371
00:16:02,611 --> 00:16:05,078
but I will ask you now.
There's no music.
372
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,313
I don't care.
373
00:16:06,315 --> 00:16:07,514
We'll make
our own music.
374
00:16:07,516 --> 00:16:09,516
My God, who's the dork now?
375
00:16:17,459 --> 00:16:19,893
Thank you for
wearing your flats.
376
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,095
Thank you for
wearing your heels.
377
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:26,033
Mmm.
378
00:16:26,035 --> 00:16:27,367
Look at me.
379
00:16:27,369 --> 00:16:30,604
Dancing with the prettiest
girl at the prom.
380
00:16:30,606 --> 00:16:32,673
Want to take a picture
of us and send it
381
00:16:32,675 --> 00:16:35,409
to your old friends
in the chess club?
382
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:38,311
I sent them a bikini shot
of you years ago.
383
00:16:41,483 --> 00:16:43,917
This is nice.
384
00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,886
I kind of wish
no one else was coming.
385
00:16:45,888 --> 00:16:48,955
I know, me, too.
386
00:16:48,957 --> 00:16:52,793
But it will be fun to have a
prom without all the drama.
387
00:16:55,798 --> 00:16:57,264
Howie, get off of him!
388
00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:00,701
Not until he stops humping
his way up my family tree!
389
00:17:02,705 --> 00:17:05,305
Sheldon, this is silly.
390
00:17:05,307 --> 00:17:06,773
I'm not missing another prom.
391
00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:07,874
I'm going upstairs now.
392
00:17:07,876 --> 00:17:09,409
Good-bye.
393
00:17:09,411 --> 00:17:12,512
I really did think
you looked pretty.
394
00:17:12,514 --> 00:17:14,347
You did?
395
00:17:14,349 --> 00:17:16,683
Yes.
396
00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:19,086
So much so that
I started to panic.
397
00:17:19,088 --> 00:17:21,021
Well, you can relax.
398
00:17:21,990 --> 00:17:24,524
Just because you think
I look pretty
399
00:17:24,526 --> 00:17:26,960
doesn't mean we have
to spend the night together.
400
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:30,597
Were you hoping we would
because it's prom?
401
00:17:30,599 --> 00:17:32,933
I'm always hoping.
402
00:17:34,169 --> 00:17:38,505
But tonight I just wanted
to have a nice time with you.
403
00:17:38,507 --> 00:17:41,675
And maybe dance
with someone who has arms.
404
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,412
Thank you for understanding.
405
00:17:45,414 --> 00:17:47,748
Of course I understand.
406
00:17:49,718 --> 00:17:52,285
Sheldon,
407
00:17:52,287 --> 00:17:54,287
there's something else
I've been wanting to say,
408
00:17:54,289 --> 00:17:56,256
but before I do,
I just...
409
00:17:56,258 --> 00:17:59,993
I want you to know that you
don't have to say it back.
410
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,962
I know you're not ready,
411
00:18:01,964 --> 00:18:03,497
and I don't want you to say it
412
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,098
just because
social convention dictates...
413
00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:07,067
I love you, too.
414
00:18:10,572 --> 00:18:12,572
You said it.
415
00:18:12,574 --> 00:18:15,242
There's no denying
I have feelings for you
416
00:18:15,244 --> 00:18:17,611
that can't be explained
in any other way.
417
00:18:18,647 --> 00:18:22,649
I briefly considered
that I had a brain parasite.
418
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:27,788
But that seems even
more farfetched.
419
00:18:30,759 --> 00:18:32,793
The only conclusion was love.
420
00:18:36,799 --> 00:18:38,431
I know what's happening.
421
00:18:39,768 --> 00:18:42,202
This is a panic attack.
422
00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,805
SoccerMom09 says to lie down
with your feet elevated.
423
00:18:44,807 --> 00:18:45,972
Okay.
424
00:18:45,974 --> 00:18:47,808
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
425
00:18:47,810 --> 00:18:49,409
Just because I love you
doesn't mean
426
00:18:49,411 --> 00:18:51,344
girls are allowed in my room.
427
00:19:07,073 --> 00:19:08,973
Okay.
428
00:19:08,975 --> 00:19:10,675
Here we go...
429
00:19:10,677 --> 00:19:13,244
Say "Cheese"!
430
00:19:15,648 --> 00:19:18,149
Say "Cheese"!
431
00:19:20,653 --> 00:19:23,287
Say "Cousin"!
432
00:19:25,925 --> 00:19:27,625
Say...
433
00:19:28,628 --> 00:19:29,628
Oh, sorry.
434
00:19:29,629 --> 00:19:31,829
Hang on, sorry.
435
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,566
Hey, Debbie.
436
00:19:35,568 --> 00:19:37,601
I... Yeah, yeah, I'm
here with Jeanie.
437
00:19:38,330 --> 00:19:40,472
Okay, but we're just friends.
438
00:19:40,681 --> 00:19:44,040
It's... Yeah. I got to go.
439
00:19:44,041 --> 00:19:50,541
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man