1
00:00:02,869 --> 00:00:04,636
It feels like it
wasn't that long ago
2
00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:07,039
we were here doing
this for Halley.
3
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:09,475
'Cause it wasn't.
4
00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,377
Which reminds me,
before we leave,
5
00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:13,545
let's get you a vasectomy.
6
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:18,150
Oh, that's sweet, but
today is all about you.
7
00:00:19,919 --> 00:00:23,055
So, you two ready to find
out the sex of this baby?
8
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,189
Yeah.
Absolutely.
9
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,591
Is Halley hoping
10
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:27,459
for a little brother
or a little sister?
11
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,727
Well, she's nine months old,
12
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:32,931
so unless it jingles or is
in my bra, she doesn't care.
13
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:36,068
And how about you two?
14
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:39,471
You know, for the first one,
we really wanted a girl,
15
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:42,007
but this time around, we
don't have a preference.
16
00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:45,244
Yeah. Boy, girl,
as long as it's healthy.
17
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:47,379
Well, it's a boy.
18
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,248
(heartbeat pulsing)
19
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:51,850
Oh.
Oh.
20
00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:55,487
Come on, you can't
really be disappointed.
21
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,489
Hey, I barely know
how to be a man myself.
22
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,358
Now I have
to teach someone?
23
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:04,530
As the saying goes,
"Those who can't do, teach."
24
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,632
Don't you want a little
version of Howard?
25
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:09,868
I already have a little
version of Howard.
26
00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:12,504
Now I'm having a son?
27
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:15,307
I'll have to teach him
how to play sports,
28
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,676
and-and watch sports
29
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:20,679
and-and-and-and-and-and...
30
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:23,849
He just ran out of man things.
He's in trouble.
31
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,786
It's okay. We're
all here to help.
32
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:31,323
Yes. And this baby will have
plenty of manly role models.
33
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,926
Now, I'm certain that whatever
Bernadette can't teach him,
34
00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:34,993
Penny can.
35
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:38,497
Uh, she can pee into a bottle.
36
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:39,598
Mm-hmm.
37
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,767
Anything with a neck
wider than a nickel.
38
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:47,039
Howie, there's a lot of amazing
things you can teach a son.
39
00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:50,442
Yeah. You do always know how
to pick just the right antacid.
40
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,445
I don't know if
I can teach that.
41
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,814
It's just something
I was born with.
42
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,850
Come on. You can build things.
43
00:01:57,852 --> 00:01:59,451
You were an astronaut.
44
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,853
That's true.
45
00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:03,122
You know, as a kid,
I used to make model rockets.
46
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,057
That'd be pretty cool
to do with a son.
47
00:02:05,059 --> 00:02:07,759
Model rockets. Finally,
something interesting.
48
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,963
What is your preferred
mode of recovery?
49
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,165
Sheldon, we're helping
our friends.
50
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:16,368
And we got to model
rockets, yeah?
51
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,738
It was a tedious road,
but well worth the effort.
52
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:22,441
So, have you thought
of any names?
Amy.
53
00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:23,575
We finally got
to model rockets.
54
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:24,910
Why are you
turning back?
55
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:29,548
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
56
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:33,418
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
57
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:37,956
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪
58
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,058
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
59
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,761
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
60
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,730
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
61
00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,665
♪ Bang! ♪
62
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:52,871
Hey, where are you going?
63
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,506
Back to the dry cleaner.
Look at this.
64
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:57,075
They didn't get the stain
out of my Starfleet uniform.
65
00:02:57,077 --> 00:03:00,145
Well, if you didn't make me wear
the green body paint in bed,
66
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:03,282
you wouldn't have to get it
dry-cleaned so much.
67
00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:05,050
Nah, it's worth it.
68
00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:07,686
(Skype ringtone playing)
69
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,021
Hey, wait, it's your mom.
70
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:11,957
Oh, too bad.
She just missed me!
71
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:16,762
Hey, Beverly.
72
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,363
Oh, hello, Penny.
73
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:21,967
Uh, Leonard just left.
He's gonna be so upset he missed your call.
74
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,535
Why?
75
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,437
Because he...
76
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:26,705
Yeah, I don't know.
77
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,774
How are you?
78
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:31,243
Did you mean personally
or professionally?
79
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,644
Um, personally?
80
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:34,780
Like, what'd you do last night?
81
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:37,015
I had Cuban food
at the home of a man
82
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:40,986
with whom I shared
unsatisfying intercourse.
83
00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:45,324
Wow. Okay.
84
00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:49,628
And to anticipate
your next questions,
85
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:52,864
roasted pork
and sideways missionary.
86
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:58,870
Sure. Sure.
'Cause you were full.
87
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:03,675
I haven't looked
at all this stuff in years.
88
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,143
Had it.
89
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,612
Had it.
90
00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:09,581
Burnt down my garage with it.
91
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,383
I had three model rockets
as a kid,
92
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:14,586
and that was the largest
space program in India.
93
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:18,090
You have a replica Saturn V?
94
00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:21,260
Yeah. My dad bought it
before he, you know,
95
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:23,228
abandoned our family.
96
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,130
Lucky duck.
97
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:30,168
Could never bring myself to
open it without him. (chuckles)
98
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,603
It's silly.
99
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,738
No, it's not silly.
100
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,773
I always wanted my dad
to build rockets with me,
101
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,109
but he wasn't interested.
102
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,644
Ah, yes, disappointing
fathers.
103
00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:39,978
Tell me about it.
104
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:43,048
I remember for my 16th birthday,
my dad bought me a Mercedes.
105
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:46,218
Like, a little one,
like a starter Mercedes.
106
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:48,920
He had barely handed me the keys
107
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,522
before he had
to rush back to work.
108
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:53,925
I didn't see him again till,
like, pretty late that night.
109
00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:58,463
Anyway...
110
00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:03,735
...as angry as I was
with him leaving,
111
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,837
building this stuff
is probably what led me
112
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,439
to become an engineer.
113
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,441
I suppose, in his own way,
114
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:11,643
my dad also encouraged me
to pursue science.
115
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,512
I mean, he is the one
that taught me
116
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:16,782
that flatulence
is combustible.
117
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:20,719
And also, polyester
gym shorts don't burn.
118
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,187
They melt.
119
00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:25,991
Yeah, I guess I'm an
astrophysicist because,
120
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,360
as a kid, I said I like
to look at the stars,
121
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,929
so my dad sent me to Hawaii
to visit the Keck telescope.
122
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,501
Screw you. My pain is real.
123
00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:42,941
You know what?
Forget the past.
124
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:46,111
What do you say you and
me build this rocket?
125
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:47,913
That sounds like
it could be
126
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,781
a real bonding
experience for us.
127
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:50,782
Right?
128
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:51,783
Oh, I see.
129
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,985
Oh, you think
that's a positive.
130
00:05:57,990 --> 00:06:00,926
So, you don't want to hang out
with Sheldon and Howard?
131
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:03,328
No, they were bonding
over their sad childhoods,
132
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:07,232
and my stupid parents
were always there for me.
133
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:12,070
What's all this?
I'm just boxing up all the clothes Halley's outgrown.
134
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,972
Guess we won't
need them anymore.
135
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,307
Oh, well, slow down.
136
00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:17,509
I'm sure there's some
you could reuse for a boy.
137
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:20,445
"Daddy's little girl"?
138
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:23,181
Okay, well, what if we, uh,
change it to say,
139
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:25,684
"Daddy's little girl magnet"?
140
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:27,386
Boom! Boy shirt.
141
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:30,555
What about this?
142
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:34,426
Uh, okay.
Uh, pull off the skirt, slap a lightning bolt on the front,
143
00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:36,228
and you got baby Flash.
144
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,229
Ooh.
145
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,563
Stick a long sleeve under it.
146
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,899
Boom! Baby Sheldon.
147
00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:44,236
Wow, you're really good at this.
148
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:45,103
Oh, please.
149
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,371
This isn't my first time
150
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:49,107
turning girl clothes
into boy clothes.
151
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:52,010
Why? You got your sister's
hand-me-downs?
152
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:55,313
Yeah, that.
153
00:06:58,484 --> 00:07:01,520
Oh. I should've
brought peanuts.
154
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,522
You can't eat peanuts.
You're allergic.
155
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:06,892
If you die, who's going
to drive me home?
156
00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:08,393
I'm not gonna eat them.
157
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,795
It's a thing
they do at JPL.
158
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:12,063
When the Ranger mission finally
had a successful launch,
159
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,265
there were peanuts
in the room.
160
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:16,134
Ever since then,
they have them at every launch.
161
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:18,770
That sounds like
a silly superstition.
162
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,139
It's more of a tradition.
163
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,508
Oh! I do love a tradition.
164
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:27,279
Could you pull over
at the next peanut store?
165
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:30,215
I don't think
that's a real thing.
166
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,716
Oh, don't be pedantic.
167
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:33,285
Any nut store will do.
168
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:37,589
I-I don't think we can
get peanuts out here.
169
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:40,859
Ah, well, then
this whole day's ruined.
170
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:45,030
Now that I think about it, maybe
it is more of a superstition.
171
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,665
Whew! That was close.
172
00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:53,505
(ringtone playing)
173
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:58,243
Oh, uh, hey, Beverly, you called
my phone, not Leonard's.
174
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:01,513
Actually, I was hoping
to speak with you.
175
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,048
Is this a good time?
176
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,916
Uh, that depends.
177
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,651
What time is it where you are?
178
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:07,819
Uh, just after 5:00.
179
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,055
(clears throat)
Yeah, that counts.
180
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:12,491
What's up?
181
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:15,927
Well, I enjoyed our conversation
the other day,
182
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,963
and I was hoping to continue it.
183
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,197
Really?
184
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,433
Uh, yes. You may
find this surprising,
185
00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:24,870
but I don't have a lot of
what you would call girlfriends.
186
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:28,573
(exaggerated):
What?
187
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:32,010
Of course, there are
my female colleagues,
188
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,812
but, uh, they're all Freudians,
189
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:37,549
so the only boy that I can
dish about is my father.
190
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,684
(laughs)
191
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:45,357
Uh, well, you know,
I'm here for you.
192
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:46,958
What do you want to talk about?
193
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,128
Well, last time,
we focused on my life.
194
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,963
If we're going to be
real girlfriends,
195
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,565
we should talk about you
as well.
196
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,166
Well, you know,
if we're gonna be
197
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,102
real girlfriends,
we should get a third girl
198
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,971
we can trash behind her back.
199
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,841
Oh, so we'd be catty.
200
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,410
Oh, I like it.
201
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:07,679
What about Sheldon's fiancée?
202
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:10,715
She seems a bit dour.
203
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,418
Ooh, "dour."
204
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,020
Meow.
205
00:09:19,091 --> 00:09:20,492
All right.
206
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:21,793
Here we go.
207
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,129
L-minus ten, nine...
208
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,264
Wait, what are you doing?
It's "T-minus."
209
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,867
I was an astronaut.
We used L-minus.
210
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,769
But this is a Saturn V,
211
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,304
and when they launched those,
they said "T-minus."
212
00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:35,740
It's my rocket!
We're doing it my way.
213
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,176
Fine.
214
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:41,379
I'm not saying
I know why your dad left,
215
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:43,682
but I think I'm getting an idea.
216
00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:46,785
L-minus
217
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,753
ten, nine, eight,
218
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,055
seven, six...
219
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:53,725
'Cause you're
kind of bossy.
220
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:56,761
...five, four, three, two,
221
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,196
one...
222
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:05,303
I remember them
going up higher.
223
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:11,309
Well, that's perfect.
224
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,278
I mean, the one thing
I thought I could
225
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,880
do with my son,
I can't even do that right.
226
00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:19,417
Well, if you want to see it
again, I got it on video.
227
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:22,320
Looks pretty cool
in slow motion.
228
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,055
Thank you for
your support.
229
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,424
You're welcome.
I was being sarcastic.
230
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:27,792
How dare you!
231
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:32,297
Sheldon, what am I
gonna do?
232
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:36,334
I mean, what do I know
about raising a boy?
233
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:40,271
What do you know
about raising a girl?
234
00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:44,342
Oh, my God, you're right.
235
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:47,512
Well, I don't know if
that was sarcasm or not.
236
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:51,082
So, either you're welcome,
or hey!
237
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,689
(phone chimes)
238
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,359
Leonard, did you really
just text me from the couch
239
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,862
to put extra mustard
on your sandwich?
240
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:07,165
I was worried you might not
check your e-mail.
241
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:12,837
(phone chimes)
I swear to God, I will throw this out.
242
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,372
That one was not me.
243
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,241
Oh, wait, it was just your mom.
244
00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:17,809
My mother's texting you?
245
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:20,078
Yeah. We've been talking
a lot lately.
246
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,980
Why?
247
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:26,051
She sick of talking to
the magic mirror on the wall?
248
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:28,319
No, I think she's lonely.
249
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,055
She's been reaching out.
250
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:33,425
Okay, just be careful.
251
00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:34,926
You think you're
getting close to her,
252
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:37,328
and the next thing you know,
you're featured in a book
253
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:42,133
called He's Doing It On Purpose:
Raising a Teenage Bed-Wetter.
254
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,935
No, it's not like that.
255
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:46,071
You know, she's been
opening up about her life,
256
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,973
and she's actually been
really supportive about mine.
257
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,308
Really?
Yeah.
258
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,509
I've been telling her
about my job,
259
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,511
and she said
she was proud of me.
260
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:56,848
Well, that's great.
261
00:11:58,117 --> 00:12:00,885
Never told me
she was proud of me.
262
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:06,257
Even when I stayed dry
for a whole month.
263
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:09,294
Do you not want me
to be friends with your mom?
264
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:11,029
Well, let's be clear.
265
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:13,898
I-I married you to hurt her.
266
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,870
You're kind of ruining it.
267
00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:24,809
Reason number 13
to feel good:
268
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:27,045
as a launch, it was bad,
269
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:29,781
but as an explosion,
it was glorious.
270
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,051
Reason 14:
271
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,653
you still have
all your fingers,
272
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:38,890
and boys prefer
a dad with fingers.
273
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,024
Thanks for trying,
274
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,494
but you're not gonna be able
to cheer me up.
275
00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:44,562
Well, how about
this, then?
276
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:46,331
You quit your whining
before I give you
277
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,533
something to cry
about, young man.
278
00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:50,502
What?
279
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:54,372
Those are comforting words
my father would often say.
280
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:56,307
Did it help?
281
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:58,209
I turned out great.
282
00:12:58,211 --> 00:12:59,811
You tell me.
283
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:02,380
Let's get going.
284
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:05,216
Are you gonna be this
mopey all the way home?
285
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,684
I don't know, maybe.
286
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,419
There any chance
you'd be cheered up
287
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,655
by an amazing
trigonometry riddle?
288
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:13,892
Well, if you can't
answer that,
289
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,960
there's no way you're
gonna get this riddle.
290
00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:25,770
Oh, hey, hey,
what do you think?
291
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,239
Just because it's a boy,
I don't think you need to
292
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,642
put a picture of
genitals on his shirt.
293
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:34,379
But that's a baseball bat
with two little baseballs.
294
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:37,282
Okay, and now I see it.
295
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:41,386
So, you know,
I understand why
296
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,354
Howard is nervous
about having a son,
297
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,290
but are you really
upset about it?
298
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:46,825
No, I'm fine.
299
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,793
It's just, I grew up
with a bunch of brothers,
300
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,729
so I thought it'd be nice
for Halley to have a sister.
301
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:52,630
Is that wrong?
302
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,499
Of course it's wrong.
303
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,167
You don't know what this
little boy's gonna be like.
304
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,536
Maybe he'll be rough and tumble,
305
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,805
or maybe he'll be sweet
and sensitive,
306
00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:04,475
or maybe he'll be
all those things, like me.
307
00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:08,546
You're rough
and tumble?
308
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:14,385
You bet I am, bitch.
309
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:18,823
But I'm also sensitive
and regret saying that.
310
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:23,261
(knock on door)
311
00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:25,330
Hey.
Hello.
312
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,899
You got a sec?
313
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:31,002
Sure. What's up?
Penny's been talking to my mother
314
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:34,239
like they're best friends, and
it's kind of freaking me out.
315
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,774
Okay...
316
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:40,912
I'm pretty sure
they're not best friends.
317
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:46,517
'Cause you can only have
one best friend.
318
00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:51,489
And Penny has that,
and (clicks tongue) it's me.
319
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:55,293
Oh, really? Is she FaceTiming
with you right now?
320
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,528
Because she's FaceTiming
with my mom, and believe me,
321
00:14:57,530 --> 00:15:00,899
that is not a face
you want to spend time with.
322
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:04,602
Hmm. Well, I have been
pretty busy lately.
323
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:06,704
Maybe I've been
neglecting our friendship.
324
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,006
Penny knows I have
a complicated relationship
325
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,841
with my mother;
it's like she doesn't even care.
326
00:15:09,843 --> 00:15:11,476
And with everything
going on at the lab
327
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:12,744
and planning the wedding,
328
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,613
I just, I have
so little free time.
329
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:18,449
Penny doesn't know how
manipulative my mother can be.
330
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,717
Did you know
there's such a thing as
331
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,552
reverse, reverse,
reverse psychology?
332
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:24,889
Because... there is.
333
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:26,457
I mean, she must feel
so abandoned.
334
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,326
She's used to me
being there all the time,
335
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:29,694
but now I have my own life,
336
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:31,763
and she's just gonna
have to accept it.
337
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:34,399
And why is my mom
proud of Penny and not me?
338
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:36,601
I mean, the real question is:
why is Penny so afraid of me
339
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:37,669
growing as a person?
340
00:15:37,671 --> 00:15:39,003
I'm good at stuff, too!
341
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:41,439
I deserve my own life!
342
00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:45,209
Okay, well, thanks.
343
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:46,711
Good talk.
344
00:15:52,651 --> 00:15:54,452
You know,
studies have shown
345
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:57,588
that people distracted
by emotional issues
346
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,657
are poor drivers.
347
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:04,462
What about people distracted
by irritating passengers?
348
00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:06,831
That would be hard to test,
349
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:10,134
because irritating is
a subjective quality.
350
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,870
Strongly disagree.
351
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:19,143
Can I drive?
352
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,611
No. (chuckles)
353
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:21,746
You can't drive.
354
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:23,982
You don't even have a license.
355
00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,149
Actually, I do.
356
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:28,353
Really? Since when?
357
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:29,721
Three years ago.
358
00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:32,423
I went on a bit
of a license kick.
359
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:36,094
I'm also
a commercial fisherman.
360
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,863
Then why don't you ever
drive yourself?
361
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:40,732
Honestly, I barely
passed my test.
362
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:42,667
And the one time
I drove on my own,
363
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:47,171
I made a U-turn, got dizzy,
threw up and walked home.
364
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,441
You really want to drive?
365
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,543
It seems like
the perfect time.
366
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:55,046
The roads are straight,
there's no one around,
367
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:58,583
and you don't seem to care
if you live or die.
368
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:01,986
Live, Sheldon.
I want to live.
369
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,688
That makes things
a little trickier,
370
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,456
but I'll do my best.
371
00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:09,460
(line ringing)
372
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:10,461
BEVERLY:
Hi, Pen...
373
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:13,131
Oh, hello, Leonard.
374
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:16,334
Hello, Mother. How are you?
375
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:18,469
Fine. And you?
I'm great.
376
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,571
Well, it's been lovely
catching up.
377
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:23,241
Wait. Hang on.
We need to talk.
378
00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:25,877
Oh, brother.
379
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:29,647
I want to know,
why aren't you proud of me?
380
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,883
Well, isn't the real question,
381
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,018
"Why aren't you proud
of yourself?"
382
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:39,624
No, that is a question--
and I ask it a lot--
383
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,893
but let's stick
with the one I asked you.
384
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,629
But why do you think
I'm not proud of you?
385
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:47,031
Because you never say it.
386
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,800
But two days into
chatting with Penny,
387
00:17:48,802 --> 00:17:51,235
and you can't stop
telling her how great she is.
388
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,270
She is great.
389
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:55,273
Honestly, of all
of my children's spouses,
390
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:58,109
she's the one
that I'm most impressed by.
391
00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,111
Seriously?
392
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:01,012
Yes.
393
00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:03,514
She's confident,
she's thoughtful,
394
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,716
and she never complained
about you once.
395
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:08,920
I know what kind of strength
that takes.
396
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:12,490
So, Penny's your favorite?
397
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,892
I suppose she is.
398
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:19,230
You married well, Leonard,
and for that I am proud of you.
399
00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:24,435
I don't... I don't...
I don't know what to say.
400
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:28,606
I'm also proud of how hard
you're trying not to cry.
401
00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:31,676
(choked up):
Thank you.
402
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:33,544
Would you like to hang up now?
403
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,146
Yeah, here it comes.
404
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:44,655
Your hands are at
10:00 and 2:00.
405
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:47,558
Good.
Steady on the gas.
406
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,260
Okay.
407
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:53,164
Now you're gonna want
to slowly switch lanes.
408
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:53,965
Why?
409
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,933
Because there are only two,
410
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:58,269
and you're not
in either of them.
411
00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:04,675
Attaboy. Well done!
412
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:05,943
Thank you.
413
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:08,479
The last time I drove,
I was terrified,
414
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,181
but this is fun.
415
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:11,883
You're doing great.
416
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:14,051
You're a good teacher.
417
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:20,424
Your son is going to be lucky
to have you as a father.
418
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,660
Thanks.
419
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:29,333
Do you think I could try
going a little faster?
420
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,968
Go for it, champ.
421
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:33,037
Ow.
422
00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:34,372
Sorry.
423
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,507
Just ease on the gas, and...
424
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:37,942
(engine revving)
Oh, too much! Too much!
425
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:40,611
Why was I scared of this?
This is exhilarating!
426
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:41,979
No, it's not! Slow down!
427
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,881
Don't tell me what to do!
You're not my father!
428
00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:55,359
Do you know how fast
you were going?
429
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,762
112.
430
00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:01,065
Let me see your license.
431
00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:05,102
Okay, here's the plan.
No.
432
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:07,805
Fine.
433
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,907
There you go.
434
00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:15,112
You know what,
you can just keep it.