1
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:04,536
Hey, uh, who's
free tonight?
2
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,338
Oh, I think I'm...
Hang on.
3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,573
We've made this
mistake before.
4
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:09,208
It's how we
wound up at
5
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:12,644
his cousin Deepak's
Tupperware party.
6
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:14,480
Hey, you use that
collapsible bowl all the time,
7
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:15,614
and you know it.
8
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,149
And it's not
like that.
9
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:20,486
I just thought we could, you
know, hang out and go to a bar.
10
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:21,620
Sure.
Very well.
Sounds fun.
11
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,322
And watch cricket.
12
00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:27,793
That sound you hear,
ironically, crickets.
13
00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:30,996
Hey, guys.
14
00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:32,164
Hey, Bert,
how you doing?
15
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,599
Well, you know, we geologists
16
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:36,435
always get a little sad
when Rocktober's over.
17
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,505
Wordplay?
Yes.
18
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:40,506
Funny wordplay?
19
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,107
What do you think?
Eh.
20
00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:45,310
Trust your gut.
21
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:46,512
Sheldon, I've got these
22
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,147
four-billion-year-old
meteorites.
23
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:51,650
I thought maybe they'd show
signs of neutrino interactions.
24
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:54,420
I could really use someone like
you to help me with the math.
25
00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:59,191
Oh, so they would act as
natural dark matter detectors.
26
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:00,259
That sounds interesting.
27
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:03,062
It does, but it's still geology.
28
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:07,299
Sorry, Bert, I don't have time
to play rocks with you.
29
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,734
I'm not asking you
to play rocks.
30
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:11,203
I'm asking you to collaborate
on a research project.
31
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:12,137
Although, if
there's time,
32
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:13,672
I guess we could play a round
33
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:16,108
of zinc, zinc, piece of quartz.
34
00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:19,344
Does sound better
than cricket.
35
00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:22,281
Thank you for asking.
36
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:24,349
Unfortunately, I have
real science to do.
37
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:26,185
But you feel free
to rock on.
38
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:28,420
That's how you do it.
39
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,289
All right.
40
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,323
Sheldon, what are you doing?
41
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,158
Bert's one of
the top guys in his field.
42
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:37,362
And somewhere there's a mime
who's top in his field,
43
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,631
but you don't see me rushing
to collaborate with him
44
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:43,168
on new ways to be
stuck in a box.
45
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:47,139
Also something I would
watch instead of cricket.
46
00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:58,750
Oh. (chuckles)
47
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,185
Hello.
48
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,820
Hey, Sheldon.
49
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:05,057
I've been thinking
about it, and I suppose
50
00:02:05,059 --> 00:02:08,060
I-I could help you
with your research.
51
00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:09,194
What changed your mind?
52
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,729
Bert, I'm a gift horse.
53
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,831
Don't look me in the mouth.
54
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,833
Sorry. I'm happy
you want to help out.
55
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,603
If it's easier for you, we could
just work at your office.
56
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,671
No, no, no,
not my office, no.
57
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,540
Uh, let's-let's
do it here,
58
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:25,477
in-in the evenings,
after everyone's gone home.
59
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,213
I just have to see
if my evenings are free.
60
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:30,482
That's a joke. They are.
61
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,650
Okay.
62
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,385
Well, then I will
see you tonight.
63
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:36,622
(gasps)
64
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:38,590
Well, you know what?
65
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:41,226
(stammers) Close the blinds.
We can start right now.
66
00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:46,398
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
67
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,735
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
68
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,470
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
69
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:54,239
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
70
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:56,642
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
71
00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:59,378
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
72
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,313
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
73
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:02,881
♪ Bang! ♪
74
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:10,489
(crowd cheering)
75
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:11,890
(sportscast playing over TV)
76
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:14,393
I don't get how you can
enjoy cricket.
77
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:15,794
It makes no sense.
78
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,796
Did you just come
here to complain?
79
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:20,632
Yeah. That's the sport
of my people.
80
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:24,903
Ooh, that's Ravichandran
Ashwin. He's amazing.
81
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:28,874
He makes Hardik Pandya look
like Bhuvneshwar Kumar.
82
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:32,811
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, save some
syllables for the rest of us.
83
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:36,148
Hey, I think that's
Bernadette's friend over there.
84
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:37,916
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Oh, yeah.
85
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,418
Hey, Ruchi!
86
00:03:40,853 --> 00:03:42,821
I-I hope this
isn't awkward.
87
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,923
The last time we met, I
kind of embarrassed myself.
88
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,925
Let's see if you can
go two for two.
89
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,528
Hey, guys.
Hey.
90
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,863
Hi.
Are you here
by yourself?
91
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:54,299
Yeah, I couldn't convince anyone
to come watch cricket with me.
92
00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:56,468
(chuckles) Tell me about it.
I had to drag this guy.
93
00:03:57,837 --> 00:04:00,439
You're more than welcome
to join us if you'd like.
94
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:01,440
Thanks.
95
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,508
(crowd groans)
96
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:06,178
Arre uske taang
pay ball kar!
97
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:07,446
What'd she say?
98
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:11,416
Uske taang
pay ball kar.
99
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,819
Oh, that clears that up.
100
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:16,455
Well, no, she's telling the
bowler to bowl a yorker.
101
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,824
It's the most brutal
ball in cricket.
102
00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:21,927
I was at the match when Shoaib
bowled back-to-back yorkers.
103
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,895
Well, I was there, too!
What a coincidence!
104
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:27,833
Well, there were 120,000 people
at that match, so...
105
00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,534
Yeah, India, right?
Everywhere you go,
106
00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:31,870
there's, like, 120,000 people.
(chuckles)
107
00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:34,239
So what do
you think of
108
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,374
our chances at
the World Cup?
109
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:36,608
Ah, World Cup.
110
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:37,876
You know, it'll all depend
111
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:39,911
if Kohli's batting in form.
I know.
112
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,347
It doesn't even matter
how many all-rounders you have.
113
00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:43,749
Isn't that the truth?
114
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:46,285
You know, I was the best
leg spinner in my high school?
115
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,387
Yeah, like, I bowled
the meanest googly.
116
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,023
Speaking of googlies,
I'm gonna go.
117
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,262
I've been modeling different
types of dark matter
118
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,563
and the traces they would leave
119
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,265
on the zircon
inside your meteorite.
120
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:02,534
What's this one here?
121
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:05,404
That's actually a dark matter
model of my own creation.
122
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,272
I call it the Cooper Boson.
123
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:10,275
Cool. I got to name a rock once.
124
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:12,844
I named it
Moderately Sedimented Shale.
125
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:17,516
Guess I kind of
pooped the bed on that one.
126
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,020
You know, Bert,
I've got to say,
127
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,790
this work has been
surprisingly engaging.
128
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,792
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
129
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:29,361
(ringtone playing)
130
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,662
Hello, Amy.
131
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,897
(stammers)
132
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,732
What do you mean,
where am I?
133
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,300
I'm in my office.
134
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:38,837
No, I'm at your office
and you're not here.
135
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,672
I thought I'd surprise you
with dinner.
136
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,442
For future reference,
the best surprises
137
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:46,678
are the ones I know about
three days in advance.
138
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,680
Where are you?
139
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,048
It's a surprise.
140
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,584
Doesn't feel so good, does it?
141
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:53,852
Well, I have food.
142
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,320
I thought we could eat together,
143
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:56,955
but I guess if you have
other plans...
144
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,924
What?! I'm here!
145
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,695
Exactly where
I said I was.
146
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,830
(panting)
147
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,765
Let's eat.
148
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:10,602
Hello.
149
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:11,870
Hey, buddy,
what's up?
Hey.
150
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,706
Um, I need to talk
to Penny alone.
151
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,742
(laughs)
152
00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:21,046
What can I do for you?
153
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,882
Just a minute, I want to make
sure Leonard can't hear us.
154
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,051
(loudly): I've got
a box of cupcakes.
155
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:31,690
Okay, we're good.
156
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:36,328
I'm working with Bert, but I
don't want anyone to find out.
157
00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:39,464
Well, you just told me,
so strong start.
158
00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:42,334
Penny, this is serious.
159
00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:44,469
My reputation
is on the line.
160
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:47,372
What are people gonna think
when they see us collaborating?
161
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:49,541
I don't know. Poor Bert?
162
00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:54,079
I am a respected
theoretical physicist.
163
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,848
I aspire to win a
Nobel Prize someday.
164
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,617
But nobody's gonna
take me seriously
165
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,886
if they find out I've
been dabbling in geology.
166
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:02,754
Well, why not?
They're both sciences.
167
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,523
And I know because
they're classes
168
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:08,527
my high school counselor said
"weren't for me."
169
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:11,663
They're very different.
170
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,498
Physics answers
the question:
171
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,500
what is the nature
of the universe?
172
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:18,970
Geology answers the question:
what'd I just trip over?
173
00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:22,874
All right, well,
then don't work with Bert.
174
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,043
Oh, but I like the work.
Then work with him.
175
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,778
Yeah, but I'm ashamed
of the field.
176
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,047
Then don't work with him.
Yeah, but we could
prove dark matter.
177
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,649
Then work with him.
But I just think that people...
178
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,517
How many times are
you gonna do this?
179
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,419
My record is 14.
180
00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:37,055
Okay, this is about science.
181
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,523
Why'd you come to me?
182
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:41,560
Well, because it's also
about my reputation.
183
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:44,563
And somehow you manage
to hold your head high
184
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:46,865
despite your checkered past.
185
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,435
Checkered past?
186
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:52,404
It's a figure of speech
187
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:55,540
referring to how
sexually promiscuous you were.
188
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,609
Really?
189
00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:59,511
Well, I've got
a figure of speech about
190
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:02,614
how sexually promiscuous
you can go be with yourself.
191
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:08,220
And what is it?
192
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:12,724
Look, while Bernadette's
on bed rest,
193
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,460
we're gonna have to
divide and conquer.
194
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,963
I've got one monitor for her,
one for the baby.
195
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,531
Which do you want?
196
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:22,234
I'll take the baby.
She's less emasculating.
197
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,971
Good morning!
198
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,973
Scones?
Ah, thanks.
199
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:31,142
They're all for you; I already
had breakfast at Ruchi's.
200
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:33,578
You're kidding.
You slept with her?
201
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,213
Well, there wasn't
a lot of sleeping involved.
202
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,215
I mean, she slept,
I stayed awake.
203
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:41,019
I was afraid of snoring 'cause
I didn't have my special pillow.
204
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,020
BERNADETTE:
Howard!
205
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,990
Can you help me
to the bathroom?!
206
00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:47,792
Well, at least the romance
is still alive.
207
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:55,133
So, you and Ruchi?
208
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,835
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I know you liked her, too,
209
00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:59,104
but we just bumped into each
other last night and hit it off.
210
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:00,605
No, that's fine.
211
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:02,474
You're my friend and
I'm happy for you.
212
00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:03,875
Oh, thank you, Stuart.
213
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,610
Plus, I don't know
how you're gonna screw it up,
214
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:06,645
but I know you will.
215
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,780
What's there to screw up?
216
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,682
She just wants
to keep things casual.
217
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,484
Oh, great, that's how
you're gonna screw it up.
218
00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:15,253
Hey, I can be casual.
219
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:16,755
Mm-hmm.
220
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,957
I should get a haircut;
this thing's going south fast.
221
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,128
So Ruchi and I decided
to keep things casual.
222
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,630
(scoffs)
223
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:28,500
What? What?
224
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,035
I can handle casual.
225
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,903
(scoffs):
Oh...
226
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,906
Why do you keep doing that
with your face?
227
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,576
Because you keep saying
stupid things with yours.
228
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,711
Okay, fine.
229
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,146
I'm not great
at casual relationships,
230
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,181
and I don't want
to scare her off.
231
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,749
All right, just give her
some space, all right?
232
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:45,750
Don't call, don't text,
don't e-mail.
233
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:46,952
That's crazy.
234
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:50,322
What if I see a sunset
that reminds me of her?
235
00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:54,292
All right, when do you
see her next?
236
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,827
Uh, we're having dinner tonight.
237
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:59,130
Okay, put a rubber band
around your wrist,
238
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:01,232
and any time you start
planning your wedding
239
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,701
or naming your children,
240
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:06,271
I want you to stab yourself
in the hand with a fork.
241
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,810
What's the rubber band for?
242
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,011
To slow the bleeding.
243
00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:18,917
Hey, how's Bernadette
handling bed rest?
244
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:22,787
She lies around all day eating
Mallomars and hollering at me,
245
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:28,126
so her transformation from my
wife to my mother is complete.
246
00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:33,732
Congratulations. I know
that's what you were hoping for.
247
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:38,737
Sheldon, you left your jacket
in my office last night.
248
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,238
Uh, oh. No-no, I didn't.
249
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,806
That's-that's not my jacket.
250
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:42,874
Then why does it say,
251
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:45,043
"Property of S. Cooper.
Stop touching it"?
252
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:47,846
It sounds like
someone named Scooper
253
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,881
doesn't want you
touching his jacket.
254
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:52,283
Are you guys
working together
255
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,918
on that meteorite
project?
256
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:54,953
(sighs)
257
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,655
Yes, fine, you
found me out.
258
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:57,856
I'm doing geology.
259
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,691
Just, please, don't tell anyone.
260
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:02,060
Are you embarrassed of me?
261
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,995
Oh, no, no, no,
not you.
262
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,298
No, just the work that you've
devoted your entire life to.
263
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,834
If you're ashamed to be
working with me,
264
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,803
then I don't want
to work with you.
265
00:11:14,273 --> 00:11:15,874
Sheldon, that was pretty rude.
266
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:19,077
Well, what do you expect?
He's a geologist.
267
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:25,684
This place seems nice.
268
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,052
Uh, but not too nice.
269
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,953
Yelp called it
"good for groups."
270
00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:31,990
Would you care to buy
the lady a...?
271
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:34,159
No! Get out of here!
272
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:36,995
Sorry about that.
273
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:39,664
I just, I hate when someone
assumes two people are dating
274
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,899
just because they look like
275
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,134
they would make
beautiful babies together.
276
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,770
Are you sure
you're okay with this?
277
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:48,973
Honestly, Ruchi, I don't
have a lot of experience
278
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:51,042
with casual relationships.
279
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,877
I have some experience
with serious relationships
280
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:56,181
and a ton of experience
with no relationships.
281
00:11:58,150 --> 00:11:59,217
You're funny.
282
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,853
Glad it came off that way.
(chuckles)
283
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,723
Uh, so tell me about your day.
284
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,191
How's work going?
285
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,059
Well, I spent the morning
reviewing side effects
286
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,929
for our fungal cream,
so it was a lot of ooze and pus.
287
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:15,667
♪ Oh, almost paradise ♪
288
00:12:15,669 --> 00:12:19,804
♪ We're knocking on
heaven's door ♪
289
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:20,805
♪ Almost paradise... ♪
290
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:24,809
And then I had to catalog it
291
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:29,047
by color, viscosity
292
00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:32,751
and percentage of blood.
293
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:38,356
♪ Paradise. ♪
294
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,825
Sounds wonderful.
295
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:45,430
Hey.
296
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,031
Hmm.
297
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:49,200
What you got there?
298
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:50,902
A rock.
299
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:56,841
Did some mean boys
throw it at you?
300
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:59,711
It turns out I'm the mean boy.
301
00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:03,848
Although I did drop it
on my own foot, so kind of.
302
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,350
What's going on?
303
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,853
What if there was
something I wanted to do,
304
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:12,757
but I was worried other people
would think less of me?
305
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:15,260
Is that other person me, and
does it happen in the bedroom,
306
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:18,463
in which case
I think I'm cool with it?
307
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,434
No.
308
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:26,237
It's about working
with Bert on...
309
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:27,972
You know what?
I'm not even gonna say it.
310
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:30,375
I am just gonna say
the letter it starts with
311
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,876
and "ology."
312
00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:34,212
"G"-- Oh, no,
that's not gonna work.
313
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:37,415
Geology?
314
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:40,018
Yes. But we parted ways
315
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,921
because I was worried
about my reputation.
316
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:46,157
Sheldon, you've never
cared what people thought,
317
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:49,360
even when you really,
really should.
318
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,765
That dinner with my
parents comes to mind.
319
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:56,768
If I'm not gonna use
"your momma" jokes
320
00:13:56,770 --> 00:14:00,238
when I meet your mother,
why'd I bother to learn them?
321
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:06,044
I'm just saying, if you think
the work is interesting,
322
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:08,046
nothing else
should matter.
323
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:11,149
You're right, Amy.
324
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,284
That is sage advice.
325
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:16,154
Which is surprising, considering
your momma is so dumb, she...
326
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,889
Nope.
327
00:14:20,826 --> 00:14:23,161
She studied for a urine test.
328
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:31,236
I was supposed to go back
to India and get married,
329
00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:33,071
but I realized
it wasn't what I wanted.
330
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:35,473
So I called off the engagement
and moved out here.
331
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,209
Well, if he wasn't your soul
mate, he wasn't your soul mate.
332
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:41,813
Oh, God, please tell me
you're not one of those.
333
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:43,348
One of whats?
334
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:48,353
I want to say teenage girls,
but that sounds mean.
335
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:51,189
Come on, you don't believe that
everyone has one perfect match?
336
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,591
Of course not.
That's ridiculous.
337
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:54,959
I mean, what if
338
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,461
your soul mate lived
halfway across the world?
339
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:57,528
You'd never meet.
340
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,529
Yes, you would.
341
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,098
I can give you,
like, 20 examples
342
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,499
where that happened
to Kate Hudson alone.
343
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,501
You know what?
344
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,603
People get upset
when I talk about this.
345
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,005
Let's just change the subject.
346
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,539
No, no, no.
No, it's-it's fine.
347
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:12,510
Are you saying that you don't
believe two people fall in love?
348
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:13,845
Of course they do.
349
00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:15,346
It's just that
what people call "love"
350
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,181
is actually a series
of biochemical reactions
351
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:20,418
in the brain
that fade over time.
352
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,021
Yes. Like the old song,
353
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:27,258
"When a man has a biochemical
reaction for a woman."
354
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,393
Raj, we're scientists.
355
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,228
We don't need to feel threatened
356
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,130
just because we understand
the mechanisms
357
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,998
that give rise
to romantic feelings.
358
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,901
It doesn't take anything away
from the experience.
359
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,269
Yes, it does.
360
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,405
Actually, it takes
everything away from it.
361
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:42,307
Love isn't
just science.
362
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,309
Okay? It's-it's spiritual.
363
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:45,977
It's an acknowledgment
of a mystery
364
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,412
that's greater than ourselves.
365
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:50,248
It's what makes people
write songs and poems,
366
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:54,385
and what has kept The Bachelor
on TV for 21 magical seasons.
367
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:58,356
Don't you think the fact that
love is given away as a prize
368
00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,658
on a game show slightly
undermines your argument?
369
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,493
Uh, yes.
370
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,095
But I've never
missed an episode,
371
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:06,631
and I dare science
to explain that.
372
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,302
Bert.
373
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,904
Bert, Bert.
374
00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:14,906
Bert, Bert, Bert.
375
00:16:14,908 --> 00:16:17,408
What do you want, Sheldon?
376
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,044
I would like us to
work together again.
377
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:23,414
I promise to keep my
geology comments to myself,
378
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:27,151
because while some of them are
funny, all of them are mean.
379
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:31,422
Well, this is awkward.
380
00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:39,097
Leonard, what are you
doing here?
381
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,465
Bert asked for my help.
382
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:41,499
BERT: Yeah,
he's an excellent scientist,
383
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,134
and he doesn't tell me
384
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:46,170
what time I can
go to the bathroom.
385
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,606
It's called bladder training.
386
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:51,175
When you're in your 80s,
you'll thank me for it.
387
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,711
Look, Sheldon,
you were a jerk to Bert,
388
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,279
and he walked
away from you.
389
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:59,183
So I feel like there's
a lot he could teach me.
390
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,452
Bert, please. (stammers)
391
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:03,454
I know I behaved poorly
in the past,
392
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,289
but things will be
different this time.
393
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:06,557
You'll see.
394
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:09,660
Come on, let me in.
395
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,697
We'll have some laughs,
396
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,500
we'll calculate
some isotope ratios.
397
00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:21,039
I'm sorry, Sheldon.
398
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:26,577
So you just shut the door
in his face?
399
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,446
I got to start
writing this stuff down.
400
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,384
I mean, Ruchi's nice.
401
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,552
We're just so different.
402
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,120
I know.
Sometimes when you're dating,
403
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:37,321
you meet weird people.
404
00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:39,524
I once met a girl
who didn't like juggling.
405
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:42,293
And she still doesn't.
406
00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:46,397
So you're not gonna
see her again?
407
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,598
What's the point?
408
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,534
We're never gonna be
in a real relationship.
409
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:51,302
Right, so you'll only be
in a physical one?
410
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:52,537
Exactly.
411
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:54,639
Why would I want to spend time
with someone like that?
412
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:57,275
Someone who is
just interested in sex?
413
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,777
Yeah.
414
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,712
Raj, do you real...
Whoa, hold on.
415
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:04,482
Give him a chance.
He's gonna get this.
416
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,752
I don't think he is.
417
00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:10,321
What is there to get?
418
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:11,556
She doesn't want
to fall in love.
419
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:12,523
At that point,
420
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,192
all we are is two single people
421
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,693
who find each other attractive
and enjoy having--
422
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:16,761
Oh, got to go!
423
00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:24,569
So how was
your night with Ruchi?
424
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:25,703
Oh, great.
425
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:28,039
We ordered in some food,
we had sex, I left.
426
00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:30,141
I didn't even ask
if she enjoyed it.
427
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,776
(chuckles)
428
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:34,645
I can field that one for her.
429
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,715
I mean, I did get a little misty
when we said good-bye,
430
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,150
but I played it off
as allergies.
431
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:40,785
I don't know if she bought it.
432
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,687
Again, I know.
433
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:46,557
Sheldon?
434
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:47,792
You okay?
435
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,060
Sheldon.
436
00:18:49,062 --> 00:18:53,531
♪ Oh, almost paradise ♪
437
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:57,168
♪ We're knocking on
heaven's door ♪
438
00:18:57,170 --> 00:19:01,639
♪ Almost paradise ♪
439
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:05,776
♪ How could we ask for more? ♪
440
00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:08,079
♪ Paradise. ♪